The Bear | S3 E3 Part2 "Doors"

They wouldn't be dead to me , dead to me only like no , actually nobody who was alive , even if you've wronged me , is dead to me until you're dead to me , and then it's too late . Sorry , grandma , but until you're dead like we can always figure that back out wow , like wow .

You said something about how , just like Ted Lasso has the ripples but he makes everybody better , carmen is doing it , but he's doing it for himself , essentially .

And the other one is that Carmen has said repeatedly he is doing he knows he's trying to fix the restaurant in order to fix his family , but also he is carrying Richie , who has nothing else . Richie's words , not mine , richie doesn't have anything else . He's carrying him on his back .

He's sending Marcus to Copenhagen and when Marcus's mom dies he's like get us there , bear . So I know that Carmen is doing it for himself also , but it is the entire restaurant that he's trying to make better , along with everybody who works there .

I feel like I've mentioned this specifically before is that people will say , like you didn't do it in order to be selfless , because doing something selfless makes you feel good , and therefore , like you're actually doing it for slightly selfish reasons , and they're like , oh well , that's not as noble or as kind or as nice or whatever , and I'm like no bitches ,

doing something nice for other people makes you feel good . That is like the best part of humanity . That's selfishness and I'm doing that in quotes because this is no longer video media . That's selfishness where it's like I get an endorphin hit because I helped a little old lady cross the road , fucking puppies and rainbows and sunshine .

Oh yeah , that's huh , it did feel good , but we we don't do it in the moment because of that . There's a lot there's . There's just different ways of operating and but I your point is completely valid . I I think I think as we go on , it'll be very clear to see the sort of structural differences between Ted and Carmi .

I think they're very different and I think , especially as we get through season three , it might just be like a no brainer , but maybe not . Maybe you'll educate me as far as , like the similarities that I'm not seeing .

I do think that Carmy has some altruistic uh like I guess when you're talking about carmy , I see a very different carmy in season three than I do in season two and it's a , it's a lot of that , uh , you know , one step forward , two steps back , kind of natural way that life works , and in many ways that's one of the great credits to the bear as a show

is that it isn't wrapped up with a bow , the way everything was in ted lasso , something that you always took issue with , um correct ? So ? So yeah , no , I could . I there's , there's a case to be made for either one . Ultimately it's going to come down to I just botched that word . I said ultimately .

Ultimately it will come down to I wouldn't be able to live with myself . Um , ultimately it will come down to a lot of perspective taking , and you know how we all see the world differently , um , but but uh , yeah , absolutely , I see a tremendous amount of of generative behavior with carmy in season two and , at least so far , halfway through season three .

Uh , probably less so because of this shift in his perspective , um , and what he thinks he has to do to whatever get back to the top or or whatever . So so I see less of it , um , through through , you know , two and a half episodes I think we should get into that later .

Not funny hysterical , but like you get to do something where you go to work at one of the finest restaurants in the entire city and , because it's in Chicago , one of the better ones in the country and day after day , you're like I got to cut more fucking fennel . Are you fucking kidding me ? Like again ?

So I think that generativeness that you were talking about with Carmi training them how to be at this level is now reaching a ceiling . Where they're at the level you just have to like keep banging out dishes night after night , how are you supposed to be improving when you're also doing the job ?

If you'd like to support us and become a Buttercup , you can find all the information in the description of any of our episodes , going back to the dawn of time . But yeah , we just finished that up and Boss was super heated , uh , which is not at all common . Uh , never no you never get her fired up , um , I , I .

There's one of my children , um , uh , my , my youngest boy , who I have a parent of four , four children , and when he was little he had a nickname for for his mom and that was sugar sugar , which is great because juliana's amazing . Um , and my nickname was , uh , dirt .

So , um , he used to go sugar and dirt and this is a thing , and I had forgotten this .

And we have a quality of that on this podcast , where Coach will bring up something in the Buttercups podcast , boss will get all fired up and I look and she's looking at me . I'm like what the fuck did I do ?

I'm just like literally sitting here Like a total sugar and dirt dynamic and look , coach , he loves , he , he lives for it , because nothing makes him happier than me getting my ass whooped , especially if I don't deserve it . It's the best thing for me I , just I .

Let's go to the tape . I scream . He's pretending that Bishop did it to me . Bishop did not . It is Go , let's go to the tape , man . Let's go to the fucking tape .

I see you fucking bitch um , to which again boss said all right , after , after we stopped talking about she's like we got to talk about our perspective of the walk-in , cooler lock-in scene . Yeah , because you kind of can't talk about our perspective of the walk-in cooler lock-in scene ?

yeah because you kind of can't talk about season three or it makes it difficult . You can , but it makes it difficult unless you have a perspective on that last sort of beat of episode two or season two . I'm sorry , and what happened with us is what happened with ted lasso . We started ted lasso , then the new season started , so we went with the new season .

Then we had to go back and redo some of season two With this one . We started the bear and , due to the limitations of life and other commitments and trying to earn a living , we jumped on the new season and then have to eventually go back and do the rest of the bear .

But Boss makes an excellent point in that all of this is informed , in that this is the literal , direct straight line fallout from that event . It makes it difficult to sort of find a consensus . Not that we need to , it's okay to have differing opinions , uh , find a consensus . Not that we need to . It's okay to have differing , differing opinions , um .

But it's hard to sort of uh process this uh without having that conversation nevertheless . So we're going to do that , but in the meantime we will try to uh walk everything through , understanding that there seems to be a fundamental disagreement , um , on the on the uh cast of the podcast here , about you know who , who , who or whatever .

I don't know if it's a , I don't think it's a binary right and wrong thing , but I think it's probably a shades of gray thing . That that informs you know how we feel about this particular interaction yeah , and we will definitely get to all the discussion on that .

through . Uh , uh , season three , episode three . This is doors . Um , happy wednesday , uh , they all say . And then , boss , walk us through what's happening here on the screen .

I'm sorry , I got that totally backwards . Let me try this again . Happy Wednesday . What's on the menu ?

There's a fight , there's a disagreement happening right now and Carmen is being undermined as the leader of this restaurant .

Front of house , front of house , yeah , I couldn't think of the thing In the front of house and so . But Carmi is the executive chef and so he sees this pinata . He's like no , no , no , no , that's not right ?

We have a group , uh , of guys . We talk about a lot . Coach and I are in this group .

It's like a text thread that kind of started during the pandemic , uh , and one of the guys will often get a little too big for his britches and I'm the sort of the only one in the group that has the whatever position , yeah , to just shut him , the fuck down and you know , and sometimes , like there's a , there's a little thing that has to happen , um , so

I think that's what richie's self you know , self-proclaimed role is here . Uh is like carmen you don't know what you're talking about like just fucking , oh also .

. I think sometimes that person is necessary and I do think using being in charge as a way to work through his shit , and so I do think , on some level , richie is providing some shield and some check that we actually do need , we being those of us invested in .

You know , the success of the bear like because , karm , you can't , you can't talk about what , was it vigorous ? uh collaboration and then somebody walks in with some shit they clearly worked on and you just basically say throw it in the trash . I don't give a fuck what none of y'all think like you can't like . So .

So karm is also setting up a situation where he's saying we all in this together , but then if there's some shit I don't like , I'm in charge . And that gets real tricky real fast . And so I think a lot of the problems here are that actual conversations aren't happening . Yes , absolutely .

Of the problems here are that actual conversations aren't happening yes , absolutely . Um , and and I promise , coach , I know we have to get through- this , but this is a relevant I promise is a relevant .

You're gonna die today I'm telling you right now he's gonna he's gonna beat you with adam schiff become a buttercup and you'll get that become a buttercup and you'll get that Become a buttercup and you will get that joke .

But I got a chance to direct a movie Talked about that before and one of my things around the movie quickly was that there was a certain element of the story was angular and straight lines and another element of the story was going to be around and I was just using that as like a general way of having people experience it as they were watching it .

But not , you know , ok . And so at one point I go down to craft services real quick , while you know everybody's setting up shots and there's a lot of waiting time on sets , and the producer , when I come back , says you're going to love this . I was like what do you mean ? And she overheard the gaffer talking .

You know folks on the crew or whatever , and they were like well , we got to lay this track down . Like well , what kind of track did he want ? And apparently one of them said , well , this is a . This is a sad memory , so it should be the round track .

And I was like yeah because that means we have communicated what we're doing effectively enough that we can make aligned decisions because we all understand what we're doing . The question here isn't should there be a surprise or not ? We can make aligned decisions because we all understand what we're doing .

Yes , the question here isn't should there be a surprise or not . The question here is what are we doing and does the surprise fit into that ? Yes , right , so they haven't had the fundamental conversation and I would say that that's true in the restaurant and that's true in their relationship .

Like there are a lot of fundamental conversations and declarations that haven't happened and so you get , you know , fucking bitch and yes , surprise , and all that stuff , because they're not actually ultimately talking about it , because who gives a shit ? Ultimately , karm , you think that's .

You think , if everything else is on point , that surprise going out there is going to be the reason you don't get the star .

I'm not pretending that carmen is doing everything correctly or that he's even doing a lot of things correctly . He isn't communicating as much as he should be . He's not doing any of that . Um , I do not see richie and car Carmen's relationship only as big brother , little brother , because I think that there's an element of that .

I think , as is the case with Richie always , he believes himself to be in a position of authority which he hasn't necessarily earned , and specifically , I don't think that he's earned the position of being Carmen's big brother . I think that Mikey Carmen was fine with Shots fired . She just wants that Coming in hot , it's just Kai .

Empton for today , coach , that's all Look at her serious face From the bottom of my heart .

I'll also say it gives me tinges of um . I have known women who have divorced their husbands . I needed to be said that way , because this is not about getting divorced .

This is women who have divorced their husbands , where the guys at some point in their relationship usually a few years before it ends says at some point something to the effect of either uh , you're the only thing I've got , you can't leave me , I won't have anything .

If you leave me , I'll kill myself is a thing that a friend of mine heard from her husband , and that in those relationships , what happened afterwards was never that . The men were like so I'm to step up and do everything in my power to make you happy because you're all I've got .

Instead , it was always a you need to do this for me , you need to do it better , you need to make me happier , you need to pay more attention to me . You need to fill this thing inside me , because you're all I have , and that is an abusive relationship and that is also Daphne being a total blabbermouth .

And now , instead of trying to earn his position here , he's being a dick .

It kind of depends on who's the big brother and who's the little brother . But what Richie said is you are all I've got he said that .

Yeah , if that opening night went the way it very easily could have gone , they'd be bailing out water from that opening night for many , many , if not years , certainly months .

I feel like , also , while you're back herearm , you know , tweezing fennel , I'm dealing with the fucking human beings who work here , who are all like what the fuck is happening , like I have to relate to human beings and you , because of who you are and what you do , you don't have to deal with the fact that these are human beings Like you're creating a real .

So when I say happy Wednesday to people , they need that , because they need some comforting , because they ain't gonna get it from you .

We all said this is our home , all right , so now we got like it's our job to make this shit work . That's the work . So , like I to me , richie is expressing loyalty . He's not just hanging on because , whatever I mean , we know that that is technically not true . He has his daughter .

At the end of the day , he would burn the bear to the ground and piss on the ashes if it meant saving his daughter . so okay , so , but we know what he meant by that . But I do think you can yell the most heinous shit to me through that door and you can send me an apology .

I didn't find adequate and I'm here as a like , and I think the I'm here part we're seeing differently .

You're seeing it as where , where the fuck else you're gonna go , and I'm seeing it as no like in my , when you tell the story of some of your friends and you've told like certainly the one about I'll kill myself , I I almost feel like , in some ways , the not appreciated and all of that is more reversed in this scenario where it's like karm who is a totally

not thankful appreciative all the work richie is doing and and now that I'm going down this path , the emotional labor that richie is doing , and he's like , yeah , but I provide these wonderful dishes .

So everybody else , you know , abide by my non-negotiables and if someday they have to yell heinous shit at you and call you a loser , you understand these things happen . I don't know I'm overstating in the other direction , but I don't know , I feel like you're more on Carm's side than I would expect and I'm sort of like going over that , like why ?

Because I am much more . I'm much more with Richie on this one and I want to talk about him getting locked in there because you may , but my experience of that I love you it was more the frustration , it was a frustrated , and we don't have to go down that whole path .

But I think it matters , because I think he was saying more the frustration , it was a frustrated and we don't have to go down that whole path but can we not ? but I think it matters , cause I think he was saying I love you . He was saying I am frustrated and I want to fucking choke you . All right , listen , listen , I love you .

Yeah , so the next scene is Carmi cutting himself and winces Like he's going through I think it's a mushroom as fast as like possible . Then we get Richie walking out , clips his shoulder as he's carrying something , drops the thing and it smashes great right and people are like they're off , they're off they're off right .

Uh , this happens , you get , you get the . Uh , you get the shakes , you get the . What was it in golf ? What do they call it in golf ? Um , yips , it was at the yips .

this up . Richie says uh , we get an establishing shot from outside the bear . Uh , and it's just . You know , we ? I mean , I don't know it's , it's a long establishing shot and , with tina sighing over top , um , we cut to the , uh , the . And then what is happening here , coach ?

Yeah , I always say like a fish stinks from the head , and it's like if the if , the if the energy is wrong from the top , it's definitely like like what we saw the last time these two were together was , uh , sid being like , hey , I want you to be my suit , like you know , remember when tina was like , it was one of the best moments of the bear where

tina's like , okay , I'll put some names together . She's like , no , no , I want you to be my . It was like asking somebody out yeah , and tina could not stop smiling yeah remember her face was the biggest smile I've ever sadly feel do you like me ? You really really like me ? It's blown away . It was I got chills thinking about .

It was so beautiful and so where's that dynamic like ? Where is girl power in the face of like an overbearing prick man ?

Uh , not even the slightest forget the terminology .

Marjorie taylor green and I are not on the same team in any way , shape or form ever . Uh , under no circumstance . So like that's a thing . Um , okay , all right , I think also . There is it what come ?

I'm saying what I'm going on mute now , folks , this is going to be good , though , so you know , actually boss , I'm not actually asking you to speak on behalf of all women , I'm just saying it is interesting to me that , uh , the dynamism of their relationship that I've come to expect and and the nature of sydney's um frustration with carmy in general right , is

not manifesting in sort of a whispery , fun relationship between these two . You know , it really bums me out that we're not getting that , that I just I can see it because I think they're both great personalities .

There's this tension coming from the top , and this is a passing of that tension down , because this is almost almost always yeah , okay no , generally , but I'm saying in this scene do you feel like that's what you're witnessing ?

Coach , you weren't here for the last episode where I said , um , that I'm I'm always like kind of blown away by the responsibilities and how they're broken up inside the restaurant and like , like we talked you and I've talked about and I've actually written about this how they find NFL coaches and it's like they take a guy who's like a brilliant defensive

coordinator and then they make him not run defense and instead he's got to deal with the

press . I'm like , no , get a guy that deals . The NFL coach is a CEO now it has almost nothing to do with X's and O's . Like , don't ruin somebody's career when they're brilliant at the X's and O's and say , okay , now you got to go shake hands and kiss babies . Like that's not what the job description is .

So I'm always blown away watching the bear that the two best chefs aren't cooking . Uh , carmy's usually plating and sid is is what's the thing called expo ? You said , boss , expoing . I'm always just amazed at that as a conceptual thing .

And then tina is is shackled with the responsibility of cooking everything and I'm like that is , that is nuts , like the amount of pressure on her to get everything . I know this cook's not right into the trash , do it again . I'm like , oh my god , like I would break on day one . I'm like that's just a lot of pressure .

I'm like , why , why is it designed so the top two cookers are not doing the cooking ?

And so , in that , that's a uh curiosity that I have about this , when , when I see now Sydney who is more experienced with this is is teaching Tina a , I would like to see some uniformity or some like a collusion kind of thing , but it's like you know , like a , you know , stick it to the man type of feel , because Kami's so overbearing .

So I'm looking for that . And two , two , when we're , when we look back at the relationship of the , the daniel chef coaching carmy , you never had this kind of tension , right , you had , you had like a , a kindly sort of mentor oh , the daniel sorry sorry , sorry , sorry .

She's a great actor , and Tina too that it's like , oh God , you just wish there could be a joke or something before they start this . Or sid saying okay , like we're gonna do this together , don't worry , I got you you know like .

Right , and Sid's standing there going you got this shit . Now put the shit in there . Now put that other shit in there . I took it as very like I got you . You got it all right . Now just reduce right , like it's like you got this shit . That's the same shit you've been doing all this time it ain't that deep , like that's .

That was more the tone I took from it . Okay , chef , and the smile at the end from tina , like , okay , you're right , I do know how to reduce that that . That was my experience of the exchange .

So I guess I experienced some of what you're describing , but maybe it's not as there , maybe I infused it , like as the coach in me may also just imagine myself in sid's position . That's the way I would feel , as I'd be like you got this shit , come on now . Come on now .

Wait , we stay on Tina for a second . Hold on , wait , wait , wait .

So is there any disagreement between the three of us that the person that is responsible for the restaurant and also the quality of the service and the food and the reputation and everything else falls on carmi ?

So so , um , so , yeah , I think it's true on that level that , yeah , if this , if this goes to shit , it will , it will most rest with with karm .

Now I guess what I would add to that is part of doing this successfully . Carm needs to understand that he understands fennel , but he don't necessarily understand people . Sure . So part of being in charge , too , is looking around you and saying who around this motherfucker understands people Running my business right now ?

I'm fortunate enough that two former clients have gone from that to learning how to be coaches , so now they are running the organization . We now have a leadership team . The entire team used to exist inside my head . The meetings are a lot better now , right , a lot better .

But really one person is an accountant by trade , which you'll love , but really one person is an accountant by trade , which you'll love , and I treat her ability to just fundamentally organize a thing I personally treat that like she is a nuclear physicist . Because , to me she is Right .

Nobody would expect him to put up with that . And I'm trying to draw a distinction between Tina's relationship with Carmen and Richie's Tina's performance on her job and Richie's performance on his job , and we will get back to that . But because you asked me about the camaraderie between Sydney and Tina .

I back to that , but because you asked me about the camaraderie between sydney and tina , I needed to address that . That can't not be addressed . In addition to that . What you said was it was so wonderful when tina was given the supposition . She was so happy and so smiling she was . She felt accomplished like this was a great thing for her .

And now the way that you're talking about it , castleton , is that she's shackled to cooking everything . So there has obviously been a change between how she experienced it in season two and how she's experiencing it in season three , and my argument is that that is because everyone has reached a plateau in their development .

She went from being a chef that she was a blind cook at the beef and she was pretty good with that . That felt good to her . And then she became a blind chef at a different beef and that was weird . And then she became a fucking chef . She was the Jeff and she was so proud of herself .

And now that she is the chef here , she has plateaued and that's why it feels shitty . I'm not pretending Carmen isn't contributing to that , or that the entire fucked up dynamic of the kitchen right now isn't contributing to that .

What I'm saying is that all of the characters individually have reached a plateau , and that's why season three feels like an emotional plateau or a or a vocational plateau . Both in some cases .

There are different ways People talk about element of this , but the idea being there's sort of that initial part of doing a thing and then later there's I put all this work in and it's going great , but in between there's the other part , right . So there's the first day you got on a bike and you pedaled using Roy , right . There's .

There's that first initial wow , look , you actually stayed standing for three seconds . And then there's the part where you can ride all the way out to the windmills . But between those two points there's a lot of falling and bike throwing , and I think some of this season is the falling and the bike throwing part and one we don't always watch that part , um .

But also I do think there's something significant about yeah , like it's great to be named the sous chef . Now you're gonna have to go motherfucking sous chef , jeff . Yeah . Yeah , like that's the other part . I got the job good , now you gotta do the job I was like in when I um went to college .

And then I had to go to college and do college and be a sort of sane person and it fucked me up because I wasn't good at it at all and I thought like I thought I'd been better , I thought I was past this . Why ?

I had to pause and just to be able to make out what some of them were a bottle cap opening and the sign you can't possibly read unless you pause , things like that . Um , now we're on carmy . We hear uh , fact , neil , fact , I can take it . You sure , chef , you know what to do ? I believe so , uh , you're going to take it to the table .

Carmy says okay , you know what to do . And then he says it again , which I really appreciate . I think it's really good leadership and I think it's really good training . Um , yes , do you know what to do ? Yes , I do .

Okay , good , here's what you're going to do , and I just want to make sure that I say it again so that there's no , which is just clarity , for the sake of clarity . I had I had a boss one time , would say repeat it back to me . I want to make sure you hear it , that I hear , you know , I hear what I said . Okay , great , we have a .

You know , even with a , with a twoperson conversation , we sometimes play telephone , so it's good to have some clarity inside the organization . I think Coach is always going to be a fan of that You're going to take it to the table . Carmi says you're going to pour the broth into bowls . Give them each a bowl . Say this is our mirepoix broth .

Okay , you got it . Yes , chef , good , go Careful , okay . And now comes . I love this scene so much , I , I just love it , uh . And so fat takes up . Thank you , chef . Thank you , he is so careful . This is like a getting a promotion right . This is a big , big deal .

It is amazing , like we've all been in that moment where we're like I'm gonna get this right , I'm gonna get this right , and so good , so good yeah , and notice now , there's no cut here .

So even in this scene they were playing off earlier expectations which didn't pan out here , which means the actual payoff was so much better in an entirely different way walk us through this boss because he comes up , hi , welcome . Which is interesting because they are sitting down .

He then says this is a broth from Chef Carmen's mind Also a weird way of saying it Mirepoix and broth , also not what it's called and then he says to them I poured in front of you . And he does , in fact , pour one right after the other . And then he says enjoy . And he gives him a nod and he turns around and he walks back in with the dishes .

Fact , we serve people food . He says uh , and then richie comes in and says I got it , I got it . I got it . Sorry , we got it . We've got to be more organized . Sorry , I went a little too fast here , but keep saying all carmy's lines please why the fuck is that back in here we're a restaurant , fuck jack , we serve food . What the fuck is this ?

It is really important because it's clearly not karm's uh strength and sid can have her moment of like what in the eq was that so like he ? He's like , oh god , facts about to die . Like he comes like in my mind he does whatever is the closest thing to running in a restaurant that doesn't create a panic .

Because he's like oh shit , fack is about to get fucking just demolished and he literally steps between . But he's shielding Fack . He's like no , no , no , you can yell at me and be an asshole to me , but you're not gonna pick on kids . So , anyway , I really appreciated Richie in this scene because I felt like is it ?

I want you to know right now I'm sorry for what I'm going to do to you . All right , that's fair .

And then richie pops when he's like fact , like what the ? I forget what he says , but he's like . I heard , like I heard that . And now richie's running in to protect him . Um , I don't know if , if everyone in in , in , uh on the podcast would see that as growth , but uh , it definitely represents something .

I , I , you know a uh , a difference from when , uh , coach , you're not allowed to talk , I'm turning off your mic . Um , we have to move on . I'm just saying it is a big go ahead , coach , god damn it .

If right now Richie's the big brother and Carm's the middle sibling and um Fac is the the youngest , this scene makes a lot of sense . Like Richie would probably get on Carm about a similar issue .

But because it's fact , he's like it's okay , it's okay , I'll teach you , I'll show you , you tried your best , I'll help you , but Karm has no patience for it because nobody had that patience for him . And Richie always complains that he doesn't want to have patience for Karm because who took it easy on him ?

They do have a very familial dynamic in terms of who protects , who doesn't protect , who feels they should have been protected . There's a lot of that going on here .

I think Carmen could find a front of the house person way more easily than Richie could find a different job somewhere else . I think in that respect Richie needs Carmen more than Carmen needs Richie .

It's like his whole job , it's like his whole existence in the bear is taking care of carmy , whether carmy starting , starting , what , yeah , starting , no , no but listen , listen , we got to keep going wait , wait wait wait , that's part of the other conversation I just need you to give me that answer , though , so that I know when did he start taking care of

carmy ?

You can disagree with the answer , but we can't disagree right now because we have we're at , we're in a time crunch , so let's move on on to , says the guy who changes everything every 10 seconds . And then Karma says talk to your man and figure it out . Talk to your man and figure it out . I was like poof Jesus Christ .

And then what does Richie say here , coach , keep my man out of your fucking mouth .

And so there's a , there's a , there's a whole thing that you say about Bill Walsh , who was a famous football coach , but he would yell at the assistant coach . So let's say , boss was the quarterback and coach is the quarterback's coach , and boss makes a horrible play , practice or game .

And what Bill Walsh would do , rather than say boss , why'd you throw that pass ? He would , in front of everybody , turn to coach and say what's going on ? Did you not teach them where they're supposed to throw that ball ? And blah , blah , blah , and why don't they know ?

And both and what developed was a dynamic where the players would want to do right because they didn't want to get their assistant coach in trouble . Okay , so here's why I bring this up here . They are having a certain kind of conversation through fact , but also they are establishing don't you yell at my fucking secondary , I'll coach my secondary .

What's goddamn problem ? You go worry about the offense or whatever , you know what I'm saying , and so I think that that dynamic here , the fact that they agree , what they do agree on is this motherfucking front of house crew , that's my crew , you talk to them , you talk to me .

He's like all right , we'll get your motherfucking crew together and I want to talk to anybody so that they are on the same page . For that part um .

I believe that season one Richie is still here . He's just done some extra things that happened in season two . I don't think he's a new person . I don't think he's grown that much . I think he's had some experiences , but he is still fundamentally kind of the Jagoff from season one who now wears suits .

I didn't want him to go away interesting uh , sure , that's one take um , so so oh you know what you're so right I I I can't believe I stormed my way into your podcast so that I could just give you only my opinion when you so desperately didn't want it .

I mean , he does technically say in front of karm , but it's , it's , it's clearly , I will protect you , I will yell at him , I will tell him to keep your name out of his fucking mouth and then I will tell you come on , man , you're fucking killing me no more serving for you .

direct and wherever you stand .

Lake shore drive there's an S curve and there's one part in front of the Drake hotel that faces North , and then he got a curve again and one time I almost not almost accidentally fucking spun my little nissan versa out , going too fast around that oh , I didn't hit anything .

I don't know how that happened , but I spun all the way around and like was on the shoulder and then I just kept driving . Nobody was around . Fucking don't do that . It was scary as shit yeah there was no .

Um , it happened to me one time in a plow truck , believe it or not , and I spot like fully spun going around a curve and and you don't think about it , I didn't have that truck , the bed , weighted down with anything , so it's like off balance a little bit , but I dropped the plow to stop the uh , the turn . I had that much , uh , presence of mind .

But yeah , um , what I'm saying is I , you know , used to drive a plow truck , so in case anyone wants to step to me , they I just want that to be in the back of their minds um , that I have that gear , the plow , new england plow truck gear .

Um , okay , so we have an insert . Is that a fight ? I don't know . If no , it's like kind of a . It's kind of no , like there's certain , there's certain bunch of guys up here that like you're like , oh , what do you like ?

It's very common for uh , for people to have a job landscaping in the summer and then plowing in the winter , and it's it's like a you know a lot of tough guys .

Um , standing there in the back looking uncomfortable , I was wondering if something was going to happen . Note we're back to tabs and what do they call tickets or whatever ?

I think that was the one where he's doing the weird thing with his hand , where it looked like it was backwards , but he's just very flexible . Anyway . So Sidney and we can't play the audio because of legal purposes or whatever . I'm going to try to mimic it as much as I remember she goes okay , let's fire Cavitelli and let's fire Cavitelli .

Let's fire Cavitelli , fire Cavitelli , like just one after the other . Fire duck , fire duck , fire duck . We're holding on two and three . Hold on four . We're waiting on two and three . Hold on four . We're waiting on two and three . Let's fire six , please . Chefs . Like the performance is .

So the editing and the performance and everything else of like this is fun . This is great . We're doing a new thing with . This is the same shit we do every fucking day .

I love this boss . What ? What does uncle Jimmy ask ? Natalie is , as she's walking out at the end of the day .

Now in Jimmy's defense I should also say he says darling , are you sure you do not have to go again Because she is severely pregnant and they don't want to stop . It's a long ride . I'm just asking just to make sure it's not that I don't understand where Jimmy's coming from with that .

I just also understand that that is a couple iterations of fancy restaurants ago right that the huge table and the name outside and the like big neon signs and shit that I am works for chili's boss and chili's has gotten significantly worse over the past few years .

I would not have knocked on chili's 10 years ago because I would have gotten their fucking triple play and their Southwestern egg rolls would have been fucking delicious . The quality has slacked and I am no longer a Chili's person . I apologize , I am not too good for Outback , but I will not eat out of Chili's .

I can't remember what that's called , but they do have baby back ribs and they are fucking extraordinary there was a please go .

. Yes , I think every interaction in this restaurant has to be seen in that context . It's not just co-workers , it's not just bosses and what like .

There's all sorts of connections , including there's a softness , to the way he deals with sugar that is not at all at play for any of the guys and I think you know it's funny because it's kind of bored of sexism , but it's also nice and I sometimes find myself telling shit like that that .

I'm like I'm just more pleasant to the women in a group generally speaking . So anyway , I thought that was a funny way to show like this is why she gets away with telling him oh no , we're not gonna put a table there and we just keep going like I feel like if that was Richie or Carm , like there would have been some sort of well , why the fuck not ?

Yeah , I feel like if that was Richie or Carm , there would have been some sort of well . Why the fuck not ?

Uh , a turn is a full room . Yeah , turn is a full room . Right now we have two one at full room . Right now we have two one at 5.30 , one at 7.45 . She's doing the numbers . Numbers don't lie , right , boss .

Every 10 minutes richie says okay , yeah , well , like so . She's just doing the numbers and he's like trying to prioritize . Well , he's kind of bitching about car me a little bit , but also just sort of like trying to analyze what . What's happening ? Some of the greatest restaurants in the world change their menu every day .

So what about the ones on Orleans and Huron , boss ?

yeah , no , no , no , richie is not hanging out in in the fulton district , he's not heading over to hide and seek , even though they have a perfectly great uh happy hour based on what I saw from the uh episode two chicago love letter opening , I'm pretty sure Chris Storer has been doing nothing but rubbing himself up and down against every building in Chicago and

meeting everybody . He's a real gregarious person and so I'm guessing he's really enjoyed that . But yeah , this is definitely a love letter to Chicago . Richie says that about the streets and she says , yeah , they figure out how to add half a turn and they both sigh and know , yes , go ahead , boss , are you going to say something ?

And the menu doesn't really have anything to do with how much money they're making If they have so many people waiting to get in that they could have another half turn and not run out of customers . It doesn't matter what the menu is . They are coming in to eat whatever it is that Carmi is going to give to him that night .

So I understand where Richie's coming from . He wants to feel like more of the team , but the money doesn't have anything to do , at the end of the day , with the menu changing .

If I think there's something like it's dirty behind the toilet or it's , oh , I'm going to wipe the counter , but I'm not going to move certain things , just wipe around them . I have to wipe every I have to like . So it gives me what I did love .

Coach , what you're referring to was that opening scene of one of the Ted Lasso episodes , where they were using a squeegee to clean the window .

When I teach my kids oh , this is how we , it doesn't matter what you do , you change the light bulb , you do whatever part of the job is the cleanup and it's always the worst part . It's always like terrible , now go put the ladder away . Oh , god damn it , the light's on . I thought we were done . No , no , no , no . You have to do so .

This is part of the job and I I also think , like I know this is probably part of the ritual and makes a lot of sense to me . I'm like I would hire professional cleaners to professionally clean and have these , these chefs , like relaxing and recovering from what this is . This is a very , very brutal job . Maybe I get listen , I don't know .

So I'm saying I don't , just as an outsider looking at it . I'd be like the cooks should cook and the cleaners should clean , but who am I to say ?

Like , if I worked in a kitchen would I be like , yeah , you know it sucks , but we did it every night , or and or I guess is this well , we got dystopian butter and you spent all your cleaning crew money on dystopian butter . So everybody grab a mop . Like , is either of those possible here ?

If they add another half turn , would they be able to have a cleaning crew ?

It wasn't like a full , full , deep clean and then , while you were sleeping in the morning , a cleaning crew would come in and do the restaurant , you know , while you but they . But you know , I just never saw like this level of detail . And Tina asks Chef , do we have to do this every night ?

And Kami says yes , chef , like yes , that is part of the game . This is what we do .

Like I have a thing with my players and I'm sure it's going to be super exciting for these women when we get to it . I don't want anybody walking on my fucking field , and I didn't curse when I said it to kids , but they felt the curse and so I would even be like are you walking ? And you just see , like three kids just start running .

Like I don't even give a fuck where you're running to , do not walk on my field . You know what I mean . Like we don't walk on the field . I barely ever walk on the field . You certainly don't walk on the field . Is this don't walk on my field . As in , I am setting a tone for what we're about , and this is our attention to detail , or is this ?

No , if you run a restaurant , like this is the deal ? That's ? That's what I would be curious to learn interesting .

When Karmie , whatever it's his , he's got that , that sense of urgency , every second counts . T how we doing Chef Almost , chef , almost , almost she's , she's , whatever . Fuck this , I'm going in . This is what he says . Carmen says fuck this , I'm going in . What does that mean , boss ?

But I think because if you do it , then you have to do it , and we can't have you doing it because there's other shit you need to be doing other than figuring out when to put pasta in water , right , so like when he says I'm going in , it seems like yeah get it done .

But it's like , yeah , but if you get it done , we'll never get where we're going she has to be able to get it done forces Sid to go in and she's like I got it , she walks

in .

forced , or was that a position where she felt like , because I am the CDC and she is my Sue , I'm going to go handle ?

However , if you sign up to do a job for me , please get me my reconciliations on time . There is a balancing act there and I don't think that either side is wrong . I think we need to recognize both .

That was the energy for me , yeah no , I get it .

Little bit of salt pasta in . How long halibut Drop pasta Tina's sign , Waiting on spring onion Sauce in the pan . Little bit of salt Pasta in . Still waiting on the Borgata Bit of cheese . So we're doing cuts .

This is cross-cutting between Carmi waiting on stuff and calling out for stuff and Sid back to coaching Tina again about how to prepare the dishes that are . This is not practice . We're talking about practice . This is not practice . This is game time . This is people waiting on food .

And it is its own skillset , because I've been in different situations where this is a thing , and certainly working with athletes where you can , where you teach somebody , this is what you need to be focused on , because there's going to be a lot of shit going on .

One of the reasons I actually think I've been a good sports coach , when I've had an opportunity to be a good sports coach , is my adhd , because there's always 10 000 things happening the fuck around me even when there's nothing happening . So000 things happening in the fuck around me even when there's nothing happening .

So like the fact that the clock's ticking and I know how many timeouts I have and I know how many timeouts you have , and I know that your fucking guards are more tired than my guards because I rested them and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da right , but I don't want my players to think about all that shit . Here's your job . Take away that fucking back door .

I don't want to hear shit else . There's nothing else for you to worry about on the entire goddamn planet . You got deep half , but this and this and this , I don't give a fuck . If they land a grenade on the other half of the field , don't worry about it . Is your half of the field , right ? Good , that's it .

So to me , that's part what tina's being taught here , like there's gonna be yelling , there's gonna be chaos , there's gonna be shit that has to get refired , and you have to be in the middle of all of that , knowing the pasta goes in . That's two minutes .

Here's my sauce and you have to be able to do that in the whirlwind so she needs to be able to keep her side of the street clean yeah , we see sydney , uh , uh , plating some stuff .

Uh , facking sweeps . Uh , share a look . All the wait staff feels uh , d you know , humiliate or not humiliated . They feel uh what ? Uh sort of deflated . Uh , come on , I know it's a push . All we have to do is we have to turn all the seven , 32 tops as fast as humanly possible . We can do this , all right . Thanks , guys , back to work .

And yeah , you're good , you look great . Thanks , he says the fact , especially since the last time we saw him he was like never again . Never again . I would make a mental note that the front of house does look like there's some communication happening out there .

Whether or not it's ideal we can discuss , but at least it seems like it's the first time we've seen smiles in the episode . We get doors again , hence the name of the episode .

How do you kick people out of their seats ? Uh , and he goes over . Thank you , he says to the people waiting thank you so much for your patience . Just bear with us one more minute . All smiles , very polite thanks . He's got it . Now he's got to go in and I love this shot .

So , coach , you're muted .

Richie , of all this I'm like , yes , after everyone adds up numbers and looks at spreadsheets and puts the fennel and all the things somebody has to like , deal with the human beings . And Richie , does not which is the messiest part of it , which is just unpredictable and wild . Now I don't know if you guys have noticed , but I am a black man .

But because he walks up and he's , he's who I'm going to offer you something . First of all , gift . It's gift time . Who wants a gift ? And then also , not only that , but I'm offering this gift because you seem so awesome . I looked at all the tables in here and I was like , oh my God , who is that awesome table ?

But it's just , it's beautiful , it's beautifully executed and it's exactly what was needed in that moment . And I honestly don't think there's another person on the team who could pull off this moment . I think Carm would very formally explain to them the dining experience and they might go for that . But this , this , you're my very special table .

Move to get some of the fuck out of there . That is Richie .

Was very , very happy watching the show when I had absolutely no judgment on them either way and just accepted what was happening to them without that sort of input , but then I had to talk to you assholes because of that . Um , I will .

Every single time either one of you says that Richie is good with people and knows how to manage them and knows how to talk to them , I will agree 100% , although not 110% , because that's not a thing .

But also , if we were talking about front of the house , where you deal with people , where you're talking to strangers , where you're putting on a happy face and making sure everybody is doing well , back of the house is the dysfunctional , once we close the doors and we start screaming at each other .

This is what our home is like , and I need to tell you , if one of my siblings brought to my house somebody I knew from school and didn't give us the heads up that we needed to put on a somebody is stopping by everybody , stop fighting and be nice . I would have lost my fucking mind . If you come , if you bring your friend who ?

Is going to see me tomorrow and knows what my room looks like when .

like , as shit unravels facts , hair unravel's , hair unravels , oh yeah , it's not an accident .

Sidney reacts and they're all smiles the people and , I think , acts um and they're all smiles , the people uh and , and I think I

Like shit , I gotta come up with something , yes . And then he's like oh shit , I know we're heading into a shit show , so I'll fuck with carm so I'm gonna be a dick ?

. Sydney bows , which I love . Sydney bows , she bows , she doesn't know what to do and she bows and I bet they stopped rolling and everybody fucking died . She is so fucking funny . There was a thing . I saved it up because I wanted to read it . Uh , why are you basically a comment ?

she posted on some message board as iod , but this is like well , she was a human before she was anybody right and she was making fun of . She's like I don't know . It was about how she felt about the empire strikes back and she says like I don't know about this movie .

But all I can say is like I've seen baby yoda and now I've seen old yoda and he's fucking busted like . I'm sorry if I'm offending anybody , but I was like that is so funny they're not the same first creature anyway , but I just loved that her take was that she's just wait .

I'm going to take a screen cap of that to show the buttercups .

Okay , now we're gonna change the menu every night , yeah , and ? And I lost my brother and we're using my dead brother's hidden tomato sauce money . Ok , and we've got . You know , uncle , break your legs Financing us .

Yes , and While I'm going through all this and waking out and screaming at people from inside of coolers , I'm going to deprive myself of the one thing that maybe brings my temperature down a degree or two . Like I don't know , I would wait a good six months into this before we deal with no more cigarettes . Like you're doing too much , bro .

You're doing too much . It's hard enough . You don't need to make this harder than it already is . It's hard enough . You don't need to make this harder than it already is yeah , I mean , yeah , I think it's a .

That's just sort of usually the mentality you are . You are putting yourself into a position where you are being pressured all the time to give somebody a great plate of food and that's nearly impossible and you have to want to hate yourself to do it .

So let's look , research some , some restaurants . So there was a diner in the area and , uh , it was like I don't want to say the name or whatever , it doesn't really matter , but it was like chef blank's diner . And so we looked it up online .

It looked really good and we ended up eating there and , um , I said listen , I sat down and and you know , my juliana and my daughter , they knew what they were going to eat um , and I was like listen , does the chef have anything special ? Like that he does his favorite thing to cook or something Like what's his specialty ? And she said I'll go ask him .

I don't know , I'll go ask him . And she's like he's got short ribs today and I was like great Short ribs . You got it Like short ribs . And it was funny because there's this moment when I finished the short ribs it was like they're served on a plate with mashed potatoes and some uh , veggies .

And he came out at the end and he was like this , like super tall black guy , like just this great fucking guy . I just loved him . Uh , he's probably six , four and he's huge . He probably he's huge . He's big too .

He's not just tall , he's thick and he sits down on the diner because it , because it was a diner , sits down on the spinny seat there and he goes how was it , man ? And I lift up my plate and I show him like it's all gone , and I was like listen , if it would be socially acceptable to lick this plate like I would .

And the whole waitstaff started laughing and some lady was like do it like lick it . He's like good . He's like that's what I like to see . I was like this is like tremendous , tremendous , it's amazing . And he goes well , this is all I know how to do . So I'm glad you liked it . That was it . Oh , that's cool .

It's like , yeah , sometimes in that industry it's like this is all I know how to do . It's like , well , shit , that was fucking amazing . So so he says we got . Oh , this is the whole thing as they go over the menu in the back of the house .

Now they go in the menu in the front of the house and Richie's going over the menu and kind of messing it up a little bit . Sorry , we got . He's trying to . It's apricot . No , no , sorry , it's a sherry . Jus jew again with the red wine , um , and he looks over at sid and says really , and she nods like okay , so actually , uh , not a terrible idea .

Cell phones locked in lockers for the duration of service , which is like goes over , you know , with a dull thud with the rest of the wait staff as we're sort of panning across them . Happy Friday , they all say happy Friday . They don't sound happy anymore .

But I think it is also significant that when richie is dealing with the front of house staff , he's not out there saying guess what ? We got a new menu again , because chef knows every motherfucking thing , you know what I mean . Like he goes out there and he's like this is what we're serving today . We're going to turn that table . That came from sugar .

So there's almost in the way that parents sometimes like there would .

There would be times where , finally , I would just break down to the kids and be like look , I don't really give a damn either way if I'm honest with you , but if you don't go get those dishes out that sink before your mother get home , she doesn't get upset with me and if I have a bad evening . We all have it a bad evening .

Just go take care of it , because that's what it has to be and part of me this isn't quite that , but it's in that direction of he's like changing the menu every day is so fucking dumb . I want to kill you . And now every day I'm going to go out front and talk to my team and tell them what the new menu is . I don't know . It feels very on board .

It feels very team player to me in a way that I will expose you , but I have to think about that .

It's no longer printed as a paper a website of some sort about Chicago's going on . It is not the Tribune . Got it , and then we get a shot of a bunch of other places saying other things about the bear .

It is making noise and we have a lot of restaurants opening in Chicago , so this does make it seem like it's pretty special , like whatever he's doing is working .

No carm asking and say no sugar , ask Sugar . Definitely got sent to ask Uncle Cicero for shit . Oh yeah , we want to go to blah , blah , blah , get on it sugar . To me . That's the dynamic and it just tickles the shit out of me .

He's mean to his son . He was a mean , surly son of a bitch and he would be like he would literally scream at it . He was so mean and if my little sister showed up he's like hi , sweetie pie , how are you beautiful ? But I'm like wait what I'm like . You're a .

You're like a psycho , like you're the worst person on the planet I am capable of that gear , like I'm .

But if there's like a cute little girl around who , like you know , I've got like stored , I've got like a whole routine , and if they've got on some pretty dress , it's like , oh my God , I'm so glad I didn't wear mine . It would have been so embarrassing . You look so much better in yours anyway . Like I've got a hole and and I .

But like it is what I do , like I'm like thank you for being here and being adorable .

Like if the butter thing came up and and she said , but that's my favorite butter , he'd be like all right , cut the duck budget and don't ever fucking ignore the butter again , and he'd be like what the fuck is going on anyway ?

It shows a plane landing on an aircraft carrier and the headline says ADHD money entering the bank account of an adhd person and it shows the plane coming down to the and somebody over top is going like this , like stupid song music , and it shows the plane come and almost land and then take right back off and I fucking died .

I was like , yep , that is 100 , I'll share it on the community site it made me laugh out loud when I saw perfection .

That's not what's going on here . This is a family and so you know , of course , investing in a restaurant was a horrible fucking idea . He knew that when he did it and that's what he's saying here . He's not like you sons of bitches tricked me here . He's not like you , sons of bitches tricked me .

He's like oh , for fuck's sake , why would I put hard-earned , motherfucking money into , into this debt , into this money pit of a fucking business ? What am I doing ? Um , but he got his money back from mikey .

So he is looking at it with a business person's eye , but he's not making decisions from a business person's place , because he'd be like , if you order that fucking butter again , I will slit your throat with your best fucking knife . Are you crazy ?

Have there been moments where the answer is so fucking obvious , but I can't figure out how I didn't realize it before . Um , uh , but if it's packed , you raise the price . You raise the price per seat , that is it . That is the simplest decision that would be made . You raise the price to to $225,000 . It's at $175,000 . You fucking raise it .

That's all you need to do .

By the way , in my lifetime I had to take microeconomics and do that shit . So I'm serious man .

You cannot charge 225 for ikea bowls oh no , no , I get that , but this is an answer to the question , though you somewhere between ikea bowls and what's going on here . I think you could make it .

He's like I'm fine , 225 . It's like kept saying that number over and over and you kind of just did it and it was very beautiful .

Apparently that doesn't mean that on this show , uh , I swear to fucking god , I swear to fucking god , I am trying for you . It's that menu . I know , I know it's that fucking menu . It's handmade earthenware . Look at this . Uh , oh no , he says that fucking man . Then it goes to richie . He says it's a handmade earthenware . Like what ? Exactly what coach ?

I do want to say that there is a scene in the first season where richie does a thing that I all of a sudden like , oh okay , honey , whatever , like you are in so much pain right now , I'm gonna judge you , but I understand where you're coming from and I feel like , because carnie is hitting that in a different way at season three , it is more difficult for

a lot of people to see . I think his obsession , his being controlling , his being dick , him isolating himself and pushing people out , all of that is coming . And when they said he's a three-year-old with crayons , no , no .

I haven't seen a person in more emotional pain on TV since . Like the worst episodes of Shameless , maybe a couple of episodes of Ghosts , like he is fucking going through it .

It reminds me of um , when roy went to , uh , pick up phoebe and , um , the teacher was like , and the teacher was talking about the art and he said so how come all their pictures are shit and yours are like not shit ? and and she tells him oh , because I take them away before they can ruin them .

To me that's Carby is desperately in need of Phoebe's teacher to cover it and go . Yeah , you're doing too much .

Then he yells not your fault to natalie and she goes thank you like . She's like , oh , and he walks out . And what does he say when he walks out ?

Like he's so genteel as he can be with her and in a way it's the crudest thing he could say in her presence , but also kind of specifically being said because it's her , I just Brilliant .

Um , why can't francy ?

Um , only other thing I'll say about the approach that uncle jimmy is trying to take with karm by saying , like it doesn't need to be the best , you don't need to spend this much money , you don't need to do blah blah , blah blah is , uh , probably him not learning lessons from Mikey , which is that he kept giving Mikey money and he kept making his dream

continue saying like , yeah , you could get this , you could franchise it , you could do all this other shit . What he was trying to do was address the emotional need with finances so that they could do what they needed to do . And what you needed to do was address the emotional need so that the finances wouldn't be a stop yet for that . That's good .

That's what we asked the buttercups to do was address the emotional need , so that the finances wouldn't be a stop yet for that .

Fuck , no , I'll do it now . We're out front . Chef said fire that rib . Uh , p3 , no mushroom . Okay , yeah , wait , this is like richie coming in looking for something that's not there . Apparently it feels like things are falling apart a little bit . Is that a modification ? Or the economy is looking to see if the customer requested no mushrooms .

Is it a modification or an allergy ? It doesn't matter . This guy says he doesn't like mushrooms . It doesn't fucking matter . He hates mushrooms . He doesn't have to eat mushrooms . It doesn't make sense without mushrooms . Is what ? The menu doesn't make sense without mushrooms . Is what the the the menu doesn't make sense without mushrooms .

Carrie says um , it's about the fucking customer . Richie yells sid , fucking , deal with him . Uh , I'm not doing anything with this . I'm not doing anything to this guy . Richie says the guy hates fucking mushrooms . This is so .

You do not show up at these places and tell them what you will or will not be eating Like this is the point of the restaurant .

If you don't want what they have to offer , you don't have to go . But I need everyone to understand it is the same as going into a live theater and being like I don't fucking like that line . Let's go ahead and scratch that .

If you ever have seen the movie Mo' Better Blues , there's a whole argument they have between the Wesley Snipes character and the Denzel character , basically with other people around .

Where Wesley Snipes is like when I get my own band , I'm going to play shit that people want to hear , and Denzel's character is much more of a jazz purist and he's like you know , we have to play whatever , and why aren't our people appreciating ? And bessie sykes , like , because you grandiose motherfuckers don't want to play the shit they want to hear .

And to me that's the conversation that's happening . He's like fuck your motherfucking mushrooms . Man dude came in , he's spending his money that he worked for and he don't want no motherfucking mushrooms on his plate . I think you're right that there are contexts in which making modifications is one thing and in another context .

That's not how this works , but I think this central argument they're having is an important argument and I think it it takes us back to the ecosystem comments and all that stuff , where he's still aware that , like we exist in Chicago , we're Chicagoans , who you know , and the fucking guy doesn't want fucking mushrooms and he doesn't want to hear about your fancy

opinions on it .

They grab each other . Marcus has to break it up . They knock Sid back . And what happens here ?

again . When they call doors , at this point I was like , oh man , um , wow , this is a , this is , I think . I think it was meant to be like this . This is supposed to be the bear version of like one of the early episodes where it was just like a non-stop uh , you know thrill ride through the with that driving music that they always do and whatever .

Because once doors came up , this , this particular doors took the wind out of me . I was like , oh my god yeah uh , then they all zoom into a ticket . They do the day , the time and the date . Uh , we get a slow shot of richie from the back . Uh , he is looking over . Everything turns back with like a I think , what could be described as a glare .

You know , it's just a look . And what does he see here ? Coach ?

It's a little weird . Have you ever been to Copenhagen ? There's a look from the I don't know what kind of look that was Concern from one of the diners .

There's a yes , there's a backup at the dishwasher . God damn it , man . He says we actually get an insert of the glass sticking out of the top of the water like the broken , broken shard of glass , which is terrible . Sugar says the menu cost is out of control . Nat , figure it out . This is Carmi responding to that . Oh , oh , figure it out .

Wow , figure it out . Why don't you fucking figure it out ? Sugar says I'm trying to use less shit . He says okay , well , whatever you're doing , uh , the r and d of that it's fucking us . Uh , well , we're using the best shit like duh . Well , duh , don't duh .

You know this is like now them addressing the issue , that sort of very sibling version of that conversation though yeah , very sibling , although also very much the finance person versus the creative , the artist , the creative .

If you need , you know this special butter for whatever . Can we make some fucking rolls with that fucking butter tomorrow , like , can we like ?

That motherfucker falls like a stone when you need it to sit up in the sky . Let me tell you , and so you know , like you could have this shot list if that's what you want to have . But the sun is going down and to me , that's the part that that carmy isn't really like okay , fine , like so how do we make this work , bro ?

Like I'm telling you what you're spending and what we're making , ain't lining up . You , you're right , we could charge more , but I don't even really feel like I'm hearing Carm say that .

They're a vital part of the organization , Any single one of them could say well , we could charge more . If we've got people fucking lined up charge them more .

He goes richie , richie , idiot , idiot , richie , like yeah that's why we're under .

I think that's how I read it . It's like he's just not whatever . But I uh , in that moment Carmi's ready to throw Richie under the bus , but Nat is like she , nat does not go . Yeah , you know , we , we got to kind of cut Tuesday's Friday . She's like it's actually really like we were .

The fucking owner , cicero , is begging . Uh , natalie , who doesn't , isn't in charge of any of this shit , specifically to reduce costs . Nobody's actually talking to the person who should be handling the shit , and that's why none of the shit is getting handled .

Everybody's saying we need to spend less , we need to have a higher turnover , we need to make sure that the customers , aren't they talking to Carmi right here ?

Fire Duck he says . Now we're on Carmi again . It's interesting we spent 14 seconds straight on Tina in that one shot , that we spent 14 seconds straight on Tina in that one shot . That worries me . 14 seconds of screen time , especially on this show . Holding on somebody's reaction is forever .

Now we're getting shots of Carmi , but it's interspersed with shots of things being plated , shots of things burning .

just rewatched it this morning and I bring that up specifically because Carmi says the more I push people out , the quieter it got and the better my work got . And right now he's doing exactly what he was doing in order to make himself better and in order to make his world quieter , and everything is louder and more chaotic and worse for him . What he did .

And then , especially if you're in a family where you do all the cooking , cleaning , cleaning and emotional support and all the whatever , it's like amazing , as I'm coming down to the wire on this one project , how like I'm like I got it Just like the doorbell rings and it's my mom just come out . She's like I need you to help me .

I'm going to Greece and I need to put , I need to scan this . I'm like OK , so I'm doing your scanning , that like , but I'm like at a dead . You know what I mean ? It's all that . The kids always need something . Your friends , I gotta like I said , okay , I'm gonna get up real early and I'm gonna and I'm gonna finish this thing .

It's 5 am and I get a text at like 5 25 . Hey , sorry for the early text . I haven't seen . You know I wasa friend . I haven't seen in forever . You're around for breakfast this morning . I'm like no , like , no . I I'm like why the universe is like trying to stop me from . It's a great . It feels great .

It's a weird persecution complex , but I certainly do understand where it's like , especially with someone who , uh , with the adhd affects my productivity . If I don't , if I'm not really really mindful about it it's a change in gears , it's like it's a change in gears , it's murder . It feels like a train crash every time yeah ,

um . So carmy , and carmy , who's a handsome man , the jeremy allen white uh character here . Uh , jeremy allen white's handsome and this he just looks older here . It looks like he aged 10 years in this one shot . The way it's framed and stuff . He just does not look good . Like homeboy is hurting right now and there's not a lot to say about .

It's just a really good shot . I need fucking hands , he says , and then out of the blue . Out of the blue , like I'm like what ?

He is going through this because he fucked up with Claire . He tried to do something . He failed . He can't stop thinking about the failure . He can't stop thinking about her . He can't make his world quiet . He can't make the fucking restaurant run like of course he's gonna touch back to one of the other things that he fucked up .

And then also his time in noma , like he's also thinking about when he was great . Yes , like this is what happens when you were this fucked up look at it visually .

They are taking us through that emotional , psychological experience that that he's having and and I would put into it also he's misattributing it . So it's almost like he . He's like okay , when was I happy ? I was happy when the only thing I was paying attention to was food . All right , obviously , then , solely focusing on food is the road to happiness .

It's like no no , that's not what that means I get why you think that's what that means , but that's not what that means . It's not what that means . And and if he could , if he could figure that , I think he would help a lot of this because he's not , there's no , there's no hiding place . No matter where you go , there you are . So that flash .

You just had of clear that , that that motherfucker travels .

I need you to calm down , I'm not your fucking babysitter . Because this is what happens . Even if you are extremely fucked up and you had a bad childhood and your last boss was abusive and your brother died and you dumped your girlfriend on accident because you were trying to talk about your feelings and everything got fucked up .

Nobody gives a shit if you need to get your job done , and this is why it becomes so difficult some people give it out , sometimes , some people no , no , no no , no people , even if they care .

What I'm talking about is that you have been through a divorce was there ever a day where you could be like I'm not going to get up and I'm not going to take care of my kids and I'm not going to like do all the shit I need to do because I'm getting divorced , like you ? Sometimes you still need to get up and fucking do it .

So when she says I'm not your babysitter , it's not , I don't want to take care of you , it is . I need you to pull your shit together because right now we need to get this done .

But but I think that I just think like it's probably great that people are able to be . That seems like very , very , very harsh to me as a thing to say to someone you're partnered with at work . It's fine , whatever , it makes sense and it seems to work . It actually works somehow .

We wouldn't say that he is being mean right , because he is okay , because he is essentially saying .

Because in a second that person over there is going to blow a whistle and we got a game to win . So can you go or can you not go ? And right now he's kind of not going , like he's . Oh , they're all . The only thing we control is ourselves , and that's the part he doesn't actually want to control .

All I'm saying is I wish there was an element of this where , in the Ted Lasso-en kind of world , I think , there would be a big pullback and they would say like okay , when Zava comes in , you're like okay , we get all the goal scoring , but we have to deal with a cultural personality , and it's a different thing . This is no different .

Carmi is a prima donna and part of the genius is the emotional fragility that is coming along with it at this point . Maybe it's transitional and maybe he'll get through it , but at this point I feel like I'm looking at a breakdown on some level . You don't Wait , you don't . I feel like I am .

Yeah , I know , yeah , yeah , yeah , I agree with that and then so for Cindy to be like I'm not your fucking babysitter , I'm like that is . I would have wanted her to be like hey , you good , you look a little different . You want to walk out and get some water ? I'm just like .

Plainly that is helpful , and I'm not sure that Karm really could have processed or dealt . I'm not sure it would have been helpful to be like hey , man , you need a glass of water . No I don't need any water . I need you to hurry the fuck up Maybe . I think he needed a good old-fashioned Cher and Moonstruck snap out of it .

Actually we'll get into that , but he has been deteriorating emotionally for the entire season , and also part of the reason why I disliked seasons two and three of Ted Lasso so much is because of the stuff you're talking about . It is because in real life , that isn't how this would work .

It isn't how we should be expecting Sydney to feel about her boss , whose emotional needs she is not responsible for being for taking care of like in real life . Sorry , karm , right now I am not your babysitter and I think that that there is a , a level of with which we think if you are being nice , then somehow you are more being you're being more right .

Uh , it's a line that I always quote from from the ref welcome to the real world , kid where most of the time things don't go your fucking way . Um , yes , that's what we're conditioned to .

One of the reasons people like coach and I love ted lasso is because in this one corner of the world , you know , maybe it was possible , or maybe in certain that , and maybe that means with new male avatars , with new ways of thinking , with the ability to pull back , with the ability to have agency about your own breakdown or your own need for change or

therapy or whatever , and being honest about yourself , maybe in more situations it doesn't have to be how the real world always has been . That's , that's it . Um , but yes , in this , in this case , obviously there's a breakdown of some kind happening and it seems like sydney's tactic works . He says , chef , yeah , right , she goes great .

Chef , can I get hands please ? But he's still shaking , which is really hard to watch actually . Um , yeah , and his look at that jaw man , he's like grinding his jaw in a way that's like cannot be good for his teeth or his mandible or anything , um , and he's just holding it together and then bam uh , somebody drops a plate . Uh , we got stuff boiling over .

It's reminiscent of like the worst days of of the beef . Right , like it's just right yes yes , yes it is .

And so when he is bad tomorrow and you feel shitty because you don't want to ask if he needs to get water or a breath of air , again , like , what I am saying is that , having this idea of you are you show kindness and you show sympathy and you ask them what their needs are and then we take care of it , except it's not taken care of because the

underlying isn't addressed , and so I don't . When people are assholes tomorrow because their shit is still not solved , we can't be like , well , I gave them a fucking donut and they're not better . You told me about your dad's suicide and you're still upset about it . Why are you still upset ?

Ted Lasso promised me you only need to tell your therapist once what happened to your dad and then everything's fine , I think that's a little harsh For me . It feels really offensive when people act like recovering from what he is recovering from is easier than it is . It is really difficult and I want to make sure we acknowledge that .

This is seriously my work I take in organizations of help people use Coach . Your approach is very high influence but questionable impact . So he could go outside and come back in and still be yelling at people . Right , boss ? I hear saying no , no , first .

First impact we'll get as much influence as we can and in a lot of scenarios that really is , I wouldn't say right , but I think the the the most um helpful way to approach it . Because you have you , because you can have people who are very high influence but they're just ineffective .

Everybody loves them , but nobody on their team is doing what the fuck they need to do . On the other side , if you're just screaming people all day , there's a reason why people left after that first night . So you want to . You want to maximize impact and optimize influence in all your actions . And that's and , and if you can keep them both going , that's .

That's when you're going to perform at a high level , that coach . The coach is smiling . Now he's like oh , this wasn't a sex joke , he was serious this time . I actually know like seven things you bumped into one , you're welcome um , thank you , coach .

Uh like a , some kind of broiling thing over overflowing on a pot with fire . More blood , shit breaking again . Doors , gas grills being turned on , gas ranges being turned on , inserts of people Car me being frustrated , car me wolfing down . More nicotine Stuff burning in a pan . An insert of a thing that says fuck me , a clock ticking Chef .

Another cut bleeding , another range being turned on . And we pause on like a real low sort of low fire . It looks like it's just a pilot flame , maybe it's a range being turned off , and that was just the pilot flame . Um , we get a . We push in on the clock on the wall . Uh , it says 10 , 59 . And we see it turn to 11 .

As we push in , we hold there for a second and we we cut to what we imagine was Sydney's POV Now , with her staring at that clock . How'd she look here , coach ?

Yeah , just that , like I am so frustrated at everyone , like I just like I can't even say words right now . Her nostrils are flared .

Right now , in physics , relative velocity is like the comparable speed of something , right , and so one of the things I learned in boxing is sometimes the worst punch to get hit with is the punch you step into because you've now added your force to their force .

Right now , what people tend to do in life and what we teach people to do in our Marlboro man remnants of life , is , when life gets tough , you got to get tough too and charge on into it . Here's the problem You're increasing the impact of the collisions .

So what I'm teaching myself and I'm trying to work with people around me to do is not to not accomplish , but if you can be quiet , if you can slow down , if you can be still in an emotional and psychological way , you can reduce the relative velocity of your life and therefore you'll be hit by fewer things because you'll see them and you'll handle them more

effectively , and when you're hit , it won't hurt you as bad because the relative velocity is there . So that's part of why I'm like putting out the like meditation stuff and whatever part of what karm is doing is oh shit , shit's flying at me , you , you come at me , I'm going at you life and it's like don't do that .

That's how you end up running into a clear bomb . Don't do that . Slow down and reduce that relative velocity . This is real shit I'm really working on right now like to go work with people on , but I'm getting more and more convinced that this is right .

Carmi found out his brother died , gave up his job in New York , moved back home , took over the family restaurant , found the money , changed the restaurant into this restaurant , got into a relationship pretty quickly , decided that they were getting a Michelin star here . He's not just life comes at you tough , so you got to get tough or whatever else .

He is refusing to stay in place for too long so that he doesn't have to think about anything . If he fixes the restaurant , he could fix his family . If he fixes the restaurant , he doesn't have to worry about his failed relationship with his brother . If he fixes the restaurant , they get a Michelin star .

None of this shit is going to matter because he will have succeeded all of it . Like , believe me , man , I've fucking been there when I was like , oh , I'm gonna start working out two hours every day and I'm gonna do . No , man , you're fucking not . You need to slow your shit down and you need to deal with what's happening , but you can't .

So instead you're throwing yourself into thing after thing after thing , and that is all the . Not a single fucking one of them have taken a step to like take a minute , take a breath , deal with Mikey's death , deal with what that means you know .

That shows up differently and I think it is interesting that sugar is now going to have a child out of all this death going on and all this death feeling in the air that this is what's happening . And so , yeah , I , yeah , you're on top of that .

She wanted to make sure that everybody knew she did not understand that we tan you on was a pun and a play on words . But also I should very clearly specify we were coming back from the college where she was graduating with honors in one of the most difficult programs in the country and I was flunking out .

So I just like just to make sure nobody thinks that she isn't the smart one in the family we're all very intelligent . It was a momentary lapse in pun justice or something

anyway .

And until next time , time , we are richmond rich till we unintentionally sign off it's been a bad day . It's been a bad day , thanks everybody he's quitting the podcast .