¶ Ted Lasso Season 3 Discussion
Welcome to our Ted Lasso talk , the Tedcast . Welcome all Greyhound fans , welcome all you sinners from the dog track and all the AFC Richmond fans around the world . It's the lasso way around these parts with Coach , coach and Boss , without further ado , coach Castleton .
I just tried to catch Boss and Coach in , so I'm scanning the show doc here . First of all , welcome everybody . This is Season 3 , episode 8 , part 2 .
I was scanning our show doc and I said just kind of to myself before we started recording Oh man , what is the next like really good scene in this in the show doc and Boss under her breath says Episode 9 .
I did . If I did say that under my breath , I didn't mean to , I meant to say it loudly . I might have just Loud Yeah .
And then Coach said that black people have made the mistake of telling white people about Juneteenth and now we all get it off on Monday . To which Boss said white people shouldn't get it off , we should do . We shouldn't have the day off , we have the day off from work . We should work twice as hard on Yeah , we should cover some of our shift .
I like it , just double shifts , like all over the place . Just that's what it is .
It's just white people sweating all day long .
Listen . Whatever small amount of reparations we can make , we should be . It's fucking bullshit that I somehow work at Like the most privileged nonsense nonprofit . It's a wonderful organization . I am so happy for the work that we do And also I am like babied beyond belief at that job .
It's ridiculous that they're like Oh , you know what you need , do you know what you deserve ? Because if you or your ancestors had anything to do with slavery , it wasn't in the good way . That didn't happen . Sure , let's give you a day off because other people ended it . That sounds great . No fucking sense . This is the energy I'm bringing today .
I like it , I really really like it .
This is going to be a real strange episode everyone . I'm your host , coach Castleton . With me , as always , is coach Bishop .
I'm going to take care of this , but not really .
It's so dirty . And then with us is our boss , Emily Chambers .
And it's going to sound like I'm coming from the middle of a party . I'm not . It's actually just that Chicago is in June And we have so little decent weather that every single establishment that can have a patio does So . If you pick up any senseless frivolity , it's from the pub across the street .
The people sitting outside enjoying the weather Just pretend that they're my background noise or friends or something .
Yeah , thank you . Thanks for calling that out , boss . I heard some background noise and I thought it sounded like you're having a party in your apartment , so it's good . I like the sound of happy people . That's something we can add to the .
If they start spontaneously singing hey Jude , you know , hustle on over there .
Oh , Jesus Christ .
I know that's your favorite . I know that was your favorite moment .
I would fucking die . Actually , this , this pub has a pretty decent playlist . I don't know which Spotify they're listening to , but I've heard Sledgehammer and Burn It Down the House , so I'm good .
Oh , that's not bad . Yeah Wait . Peter Gabriel Sledgehammer .
Yeah , of course Is there another one . I mean , I did hear Dave Matthews do a cover of them last summer , but that isn't the official record . Like the record is Peter Gabriel , obviously .
Love it , love it , all right . Well , when we left off last time , we were talking about how Facebook was just for grandparents and racists now , and we were about to pop into the public service announcement slash after school special , which is the Richmond locker room . This is boy . How do we , how do we characterize this episode so far ?
It's not up to par , i think , is the nicest way of saying it .
Yeah , it's , it's . it's less elegant than than we're accustomed to and feel feels a little . It's like when you're racing to get a package to place before it closes and you just tape it up in a real messy way So you can ship it . It feels like sometimes the tape job isn't isn't as clean as we've expected in the past , but some of it still .
there are still some jewels here and there . We'll try to try to suss those out .
So just quickly .
I think .
In addition , not at all disagreeing with that assessment that either you put forth , i do think part of it also is the actual story beats . I mean we started , we talked about this a little bit last time .
The actual story beats are not particularly pleasant So there's also not you know what I mean , there's not that piece to fall back on , it sort of challenge , the actual content and what need they needed to have happen .
Mostly , this sort of set themselves up for the home stretch was to set up a lot of problems and unpleasantness that folk were going to have to work their way through as a as a wrapped up the season . So I think you know they were , they were a bit behind the eight ball on this one .
You know this is a . This is an excellent , excellent point , coach . I mean , what if we open ? if we open it up , we get that quick montage of hey Richmond's winning , everything's great .
And then we go to Ted , face to face with Michelle and and Dr Jacob , and we go from there right into Keely and Jack , where Keely finds out at the very end of that scene that there's been a we always we hear say , oh fuck , we don't know what it is at that point , but we're we come to find out that it's a terrible leak of her private private effects ,
her personal video . We move to Nate and Jade in bed in a scene where many people feel that some of the tonally it's Nate isn't a place . That is unearned . We go back to Jack and Keely And then we we do have a little Diamond Dogs thing , but it's a .
It's the first time we have a Diamond Dogs scene where it doesn't feel like there's closure or some sort of profound development or some quotable I guess . No , actually we do have a quotable thing . It's don't freak out till you find out is is quotable . But still Ted feels a little bit he's not satisfied by it .
We go from that Diamond Dogs scene into Miss Cakes hanging up on Nate who is convening the very first and last Love Hounds meeting Boss . As I'm going through , this boss is blowing . Her cheeks are full . She's bull . She's just exhaling . You have to wonder . You have to wonder because we love this stuff . We go , man . You know , did anybody in the room go ?
God guys ? how about , like a beat of comedy somewhere ? How about did they think that the Love Hounds scene was going to come off as funny ? You know , we think that might have been it where we found it cruel and hurt , hurt Nate even more .
If you start with that first scene with Nate and Jade , you go OK , like he must be on the road back to respectability , and somehow you know whether we agree with . I have a girlfriend and therefore I'm a better man , which I don't think any of us agree with here . But let's say we did hypothetically .
Once you get to Love Hounds , you're like man , he's a mean son of a bitch .
Yeah , i think I believe that part of the problem is the first season of Ted Lasso masterpiece that it was had some valid criticism from some people that it was a little light on the conflict or the drama . I think that that was perfect . I loved that .
I thought it was amazing that it was just a woman dealing with the divorce and becoming a better version of herself and Ted dealing with his divorce and letting that go like perfect , loved it across the board . But people said these are rich people , these are white guys , they are predominantly white . In the first year The cast the main characters .
So I think that there was a lot of pull and desire to add some weight to seasons two and three . I think that they did that through Ted's additional anxiety , his dad , his relationship with his mom . In the third season , everything that Keely went through Sam and the racists And it nates just descent into darkness and then back up . I get it .
I do get all of it . The issue is it is totally so off to have what is essentially a realistic Disney character in Ted Lasso dealing with things like sexual violations through hacked videos and photos . Like that is a hard thing to reconcile .
It is difficult to get somebody to a place where they're like we're going to watch Ned Flanders deal with his dad's suicide , like there's a lot to that I understand all of it , i get it .
I understand the desire . Dumbo Dumbo talks about porn .
Yeah , man Like fucking and you're going to have Woody out here with a PSA about meth addiction pretty soon . Like this is not what we need right now . This is a different show .
It's so funny because I totally hear you , i do , and you presented your case with flair and humor and all the good things .
I guess for me , season two certainly , and specifically on that topic you just brought us to , which is sort of Ted as a character and what he then had to deal with I actually as an overall piece , not necessarily specifically that about his dad I actually did like that . We were like in season one even . I thought it had some half .
Then , you know , hit me in the fields all the time . I thought we saw sort of the sort of more surface level of what was going on with folks And I thought to watch Ted and his you know , everybody I meet and blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah .
¶ Ted Lasso's Overwhelming Topics
I thought I found it interesting . I was actually grabbed by this . Now , oh wait , now , oh wait , there's more to this . Like there's more , there's something driving this . He's just not happy because happy like there's more going on .
So when he's talking to Jamie at the bar and Jamie talks about , you know , having a tough dad and he makes the you know offhand comment you know about , well , yeah , he's more . He was tough on himself .
I found myself leaning forward into that , but I , but I do hear you and I get where , like I get why it could feel like a bait and switch to you on , not bait and switch , doesn't maybe a little too strong , but like that . It didn't keep its initial promise for you .
Well , and not even just the initial promise , but just that I believe that tackling a lot of these subjects requires an entire show by itself . Like I'm going to talk about the bear again , i actually got a message the other day , i believe , from Linda . I need to double check , i'm sorry , but I will correct it in this recording . But she was very kind .
She said she listens to the show and that she loves it . And also I should talk about the bear . All I want to , so I'm going to . The entire first season of the bear is about , like , reclaiming the restaurant while they are in the midst of dealing with grief . So the entire season is a dedication to how people process through grief .
I think if you took one of the topics that they dealt with throughout seasons two and three and had the entire thing about Ted's dad , that might be enough time . If we had one season to deal with Nate dealing with his dad , that might be enough time .
But it's like they I feel like they genuinely thought we could tackle all this , we could say good , nice things about all of these topics and bring like our perspective and our joy to these different things , and I think they spread themselves too thin And I feel like it didn't always work out , and this is one of those cases .
We needed more than one episode to talk about what Keely would have been going through if this is something that had happened to her . She broke up with her boss and also had a private video leaked . Like there is a lot to this and we needed to not have it also shoehorned in with Ted getting over his ex being in Paris with her new boyfriend .
Like we just went for too many topics .
I feel like I tend to agree with you , boss . Terrifying concept that that is , but I would say that the root of that is is our assertion that they were hell bent on making this three seasons start to finish And that ultimately hamstrung them in one way .
And I would say also , if Bill Lawrence was still around for season three , this would very likely not have been . This is not how I think he would have structured it .
I think some element of having Bill Lawrence depart and end up doing shrinking and that sort of thing , and I ended up making this show maybe less realistic about the parameters inside the episode , inside the writers Yeah , i feel like . And so yes .
But doesn't that Oh sorry .
I was just going to say . Ironically , i feel like they needed a different sort of hacker Bill Lawrence with a hatchet , saying we can't do this entire plot line , we need to scrap it .
Like they needed somebody to come in and say we need to find the marrow of this episode and do only that and focus on only that and do something similar with the entire season .
Yeah , i mean , i guess , though , he was there for season two .
So I think some of this really is , i think it , i think , and again it's something that I enjoyed and I'm hearing you and I'm sort of trying to like , i'm processing that as I'm talking about it , but I there was some when I talk about this total storytelling idea , i really am sort of fascinated by it .
Now I think I don't I don't know if I'll start a whole other level of trouble , but I have a friend who absolutely positively hates love , actually with the heat of a thousand sons . Just it's unbelievable .
You could say it's me coach , That's why I don't mind And I and I did not .
I actually enjoyed it and I was on and I was . You know I was in , i got great . Yep , you fucked up . She knows that was not the gift you bought at the store . You're like I was with all of it . And so I wonder if there's a , if that's such a direction , that brand of like , and it can feel unwieldy , like I agree that it can feel that way .
I wonder if , once you go down that road , you , you , you as a storyteller , are making a decision , there's a percentage of the audience that is not going to be pleased with us . Like , just fundamentally , this way of telling a story is not , it doesn't serve some viewers . Yeah , i don't know if you have a reaction to that .
No , i think that that's exactly right . I think you know , because it is difficult for me to become emotionally attached to things in general , but shows in particular .
I need them to tell me what they're going to do and then do what they're going to do and then tell me what they just did and walk me right up to the line where it says now you feel things And I can't get there with stuff like love actually , like Emma Thompson a little bit , because she has my entire heart and I love her so much .
I don't care , but the rest of them .
I'm like Laura Linney just fuck that dude and then go see your brother , It'll be fine . I'm like you can do both . It's okay . So , but also to your point , they're going to lose some of the audience , but a lot of them are going to love it . I would much prefer that a show does what it thinks is best .
That the creators follow their hearts on that and , like you , put out something that you are proud of and people will find it , and if you put out something that you were trying to find an audience for , it's not going to work .
I'm really glad you said that because I really I mean this was my least favorite episode . So okay , again , as we've said about other things in the context of the Ted Lasso universe , i guess probably still at the top whatever 10 to 5% of episodes I've ever seen , but you know , whatever . But I think there's .
There were just some specific ways and we've talked about this more generally , even not on , not during the podcast there were just some specific ways that I just felt so grabbed by this and and did enjoy it , like , did feel like , well , yeah , like this , i like knowing and maybe my ADHD plays in here , but I liked knowing a bit more about what's going on
with these characters and how that was playing into how they were showing up in each other's stories , how that was playing into how they were showing up , you know , on the field or in the office or you know I , i liked that . I just liked that idea and that part and I liked meeting Simi , even if at some point I felt like , oh , i wish I'd gotten more .
It doesn't make me say cut it , it makes me say , oh , it was good , like I wanted more of it . So you know I got the part I got .
Yours is not cut , yours is . Can we concentrate this ?
Yeah , yeah .
Yeah , that makes a lot of sense Yeah , maybe . Also , i should correct myself It was Lauren who messaged me , so thank you so much . I am taking your advice , lauren , and I'm going to talk all about the bear , along with Ted Lasso , obviously .
The bear was so cartoony It was unrealistic . It was . You know it was just like a Disney romp , you know , pg-13 kind of vibe .
I'm going to say legitimately , like River North is not gentrifying . That was ridiculous . I don't know who came up with that idea .
I remember when you yeah , i remember when you freaked out about that . You're like wait what River North ?
give me a fucking break . Just like you could name it after the beef and just put it in a different neighborhood , put it in any other . If you'd put it even in Avondale , it'd be like , oh okay , well , kind of I get it , but no , jesus Christ .
Yeah , i think a lot of people would agree with you , and by that I mean no one , no one cares . But yes , i get it . I like the Europe Purist boss .
¶ Pit Flavors and Unique Smells
I was going through the list of the scenes that we had here and we were coming off of the Diamond Dogs and then the Love Hounds . We go into Ted asking Rebecca to hire a private investigator . That's the next one , and I start to make the crusty , the clown . Oh my God , why are we then ?
we get it's just now a good time Miss Jones with Barbara , which , with a lovely , lovely suggestion from Jack to apologize for everything , and that empty , hollow , lawyer-written piece that Keeley walks out on , we have her walk out of that scene , and so now we get to a scene that you hope breathes a little bit of joy back into the episode .
I've called it a Taft Hartley recruiting scene because , basic , a Taft Hartley is a thing where , if you're not a member of the Screen Actors Guild or Sagraftra , you can , and you have a line in something .
Then you can be sort of , you can be shown as an exception to the Guild rules , and then that's a way to get you into the Guild , and it happens when you have a certain amount of lines , and I forget what it . I think it's two lines .
So realistically this probably wouldn't do it for some of the actors if they weren't in the Guild , but we do get to see many , many players who have not spoken actually get a line or two , which is which is kind of fun . It begins with Colin asking Jamie for some links And Jamie says he says Hey . Jamie . Jamie , can I get some links ?
They're in the block Ted's favorite of the Jungle Cats .
That's right , that's right , good call , good call , coach . And Jamie says Yeah , sure mate , what's your pit , what's your pit flavor , pit flavor . I was like , wait a sec , what the hell Pit flavor ? And what are the pit flavors that Jamie Tard has on hand there , please , coach .
He's got Epic , fresh , sport Recharge , java , africa , ice , chill , gold , excite , black , dark , temptation and Leather and Cookies .
Leather and Cookies . Now , just out of curiosity , boss , which of these would be your pit flavor ?
Oh God , i have no idea , because what the fuck does gold smell like ? I mean , are we talking about coins ? Like I don't want nickels . No , no , no , you're being too literal . Obviously , This is Christ boss , Okay , hold on because .
I don't know if I'm very excitable , so probably Excite wouldn't be my thing per se No what .
I'm saying is that Ice Chill is a flavor of Gatorade and not a spray that you put on your body , is it ?
mint Boss . It's a simple question .
Obviously like mine is obviously Dark Temptation . Obviously , come on , Of course it fucking is . Give me a break .
Right , great , there you go . Dark Temptation Finally . Was that so hard ?
Yes , Holy shit It was . It's better .
I know you're thinking mine would be Africa . That's great . I'm probably more of a sport recharge . What about you , Coach ?
I'm appreciating the diasporic use of both Africa and black . So that's big kudos there for Jamie . I am just fascinated . I don't think this is necessarily my natural one , but I am fascinated by what leather and cookies could possibly smell like , and so I would just hand me that one , just so I can learn .
I think I mentioned my daughter , my nine-year-old , saying everyone has their own unique smell . Did I tell you guys this ?
Yes , but I don't remember if you said it to me here or just generally . Maybe it was just in person .
Yeah , she said , daddy , everybody has their own unique smell . I said , oh , is that right ? She says Yeah , it's like a flavored picture frame and a dirty piece of leather .
What does that mean ? I mean other than she roasts you so hard .
She was trying to be nice about it . She's like Hey , that's just what you smell like . My dad smelled like rust often . He worked a lot He's a real hard worker And he would smell like old metal and maybe some old wood and metal some combination of those two things . So I was not offended by a dirty piece of leather . Well , for my harkens .
Back to my motorcycle riding days , which were short lived .
And I'm not sure if I've mentioned this here before , but I was raised by hippies , so the smells of my childhood are pot and beo .
Nice , yeah , little little . No patchouli in there , oh God , no It smells like a routine sense .
I thought you were going in a patchouli direction No , no , no , no , no , just straight .
I mean not like bad beo , but just like everybody has a smell . So there's a little little body odor and then some extremely weak weed . I have to imagine Like they had no idea what they were doing 40 , 50 years ago .
No , there was a whole other .
There was a girl in in high school which was a year ahead of me , and she used to walk up I mean beautiful God , what a beautiful girl And she would walk up to me and put her face in my neck , just walking through the through the day , and she would take a big smell .
She would be like , oh God , i love how you smell , and then walk away And again you would think that that would have somehow turned into anything . But no , the answer was nothing .
And somehow this person fathered four children .
Yeah , that's . It's what I can't get past .
I have an amazing , amazing partner . I have dumb fucked my way into the best possible situation , but yeah , no , the deals that should have been closed , i , i don't .
After we recorded the last episode I went onto Twitter to try to find a tweet . I can't find it right now , but it's essentially some guy saying in college the girl I had a crush on , who lived in my dorm one time , came to my room and got in my bed and asked me if I was ticklish and I didn't do anything .
And I think about that now every single day of my life that he screwed it up that bad And you and you have two of those .
You've got two at least . Okay , at least that's just what I can think of because I have ADHD . I bet we're going to stumble . I'll just kind of call out all the ones , but see that that sounds like something that I would . I would be like Hey , you want to watch a , i want to watch some Muppets or something . I would totally blow it , are you ticklish ?
Don't touch me , i'm tired , i don't .
I always assumed that I was just being so overboard with men when I would sit in their lap and tell them I like them , or tell them while we're smoking that we're going to be making out later when I did these things . But now apparently that's just the level you need to work at .
Like maybe I wasn't going overboard . Yeah , we're not smart , yeah , okay . Generally a good bet . But who is smart ? Colin ? He says he chooses leather and cookies . And Jamie says smart choice for a smart boy . There you go . Colin says lovely stuff , hey , have you smelled this ? And now we get Van Damme . Bum bum , bum Coach . What happens ? What is Van Damme ?
Yo , yo , y'all
¶ Ted Lasso Tackles Nude Photo Leaks
see this . A bunch of famous chicks got their nude photos leaked , And so the whole locker room . Oh wow , And Sam shares that . the sun is calling it the great awankening .
which ouch really , guys Come on Yeah , And he says what's the opposite of clever ? and they all say the sun , which is basically Fox News . Yeah . New York Post Well , I know what I'm doing this weekend says overcompensate and Colin right , Yes .
Right , exactly .
It's just torture And right from the get go , you just get Isaac just closing the door on any of this . Oh , i fucked that . We shouldn't be looking at that shit , jan Maas . Just why not ? Because it wasn't meant for us , jan Maas , It was their private property , right ? And I just like the hard line . Yep , i just really like that .
Isaac has thought about this and he's got a position , and if you didn't like Isaac before , first of all , you're crazy , but right now it's just a really principled stance , coach and .
I think I like this for a number of reasons , not the least of which is that if , having been a guy where either I or some other guy decided , all right , I'm going to take the unpopular , uncool guys could give me a hard time stance , And I like that one that Isaac does it , but also that they're the kind of group where his saying that sparks a question ,
not a oh , shut up . You know what I mean . Yeah yeah , he's not demeaned for it , Right , And I mean I know you've been , because we've been in spaces in our lives where you absolutely would be . It would be like whoa , it's a matter of you , kind of a vibe .
So I , yeah , we have to raise seriously because I've thought about this so much we have to raise boys who are willing to be this guy .
And we have to write shows where guys talk like this . Now , for some , for some people , this went too far into PSA .
You know after some special , but for I'll tell you , for me it didn't bother me At least the part of it where they were trying to figure it out ends up being instructive , because I don't think this is talked about enough And I don't think it's something that is discussed .
It's certainly not discussed in a group of professional athletes with any sort of thought behind it , and I like that .
There's a certain percentage of the guys that are just really , really have a strong opinion about the principles behind this And they've done some thinking on it , and that feels like progress , even if it is a PSA or whatever , even if it feels like .
You know , this is the part where I understand , where people say , okay , this feels a little preachy or this feels a little whatever . I would choose to say listen , it's instructive And I'm okay with that . Now the boss unclicks her mic and I feel my butt clenched up . But the larger issue is is this what we need ?
now on the show , and like when you're you know you have a limited time in your life . You devote some of it to a TV show you say , okay , what do I want to see ?
And then , is this that , is this the best possible choice that the writing staff could have made And I think , well , considering that they decided to do an episode with this leak as part of it , then I'm happy that they made the choice to educate and illustrate and have a perspective , but I wouldn't have done any of it .
But in the fact that they have chosen to do this , okay , this is a better outcome than you know just glossing over it . So help us .
Well . so I think that the issue with it feeling like a PSA is that it is in some ways , written in order to be informative , and that does come off . You can feel that in the scene They are trying to present opposing positions on this and have somebody then , like Isaac , the team captain and one of our favorites , say like no , absolutely not .
This isn't okay . It didn't feel like the most organic conversation that the show has had . That's very valid .
That is valid . It does not feel organic , right in the way that we're accustomed to . For sure , yes , Right .
It doesn't feel like these are people playing off each other . This feels like here's a position and I'm going to stay aligned , and here's a position and I'm going to stay aligned . That didn't work well for me .
Another issue for me like going back to what I just said about this being almost like a Disney show that is trying to get a little bit heavier is the reactions weren't vile enough .
Weren't what .
I feel terrible about that . Weren't vile enough , There was going to be some guy in the locker room that would have said something really disgusting in real life . This is Ted Lasso , so we're not going to see that . But then it feels to me like well , it would be really easy actually to deal with a group of men with this perspective .
If the entire world were this , that would be great . But the entire world isn't this . So what you're showing me is a lot of men that are far surpassing most of the men alive right now in terms of where they are at in dealing with this shit , that is true , that is true . So it just leaves me really yeah , It leaves me really cold .
when I talked to my sister over the weekend about this and she said at some point it felt like they stopped reality testing the show . The first season was what would it be like if Ted did this and how would the world react ? The second season was what if the world became ? Ted Lasso .
So now , if we're dealing with a world where it's Ted Lasso , i would love to be a part of that , but we're not that , so it doesn't feel like it's applicable to me .
Let's not forget that season one had episode one . I believe I was trying to think like when I can show my son Ted Lasso .
¶ Ted Lasso's Humor & Respect
But season one , everyone has a reference to a cricket , a splintered cricket bat being shoved up Rupert's butt , i think . Right , wasn't it a butt thing ?
Yeah , like a gift .
Over and over again like a gift , right , and so I'm like , okay , that's pretty . I'm like , okay , that would have afforded them to have a type of joke that you wanted in this boss , because they've established we have a range , we have a . You know , yes , we do have Ned Flanbridge , but we also will go dark .
If we need to go dark with that , with at least in joke form we can , we can sneak something like that in , and you're right that they don't do it . Part of this for me , though , was I think they were . It's funny . It felt like a generational thing to me . I wondered that too .
And it felt like like okay , hey , if you don't want pictures , don't take pictures . Like that feels like something an older generation would say . So it's like they're trying to establish all these points And , yeah , i understand that You feel like man at some point .
I understand what you're saying , your sister's saying about they stopped reality testing it and they stopped . I think what happened is the show got so big after season one , they felt . They felt and I think this is accurate Like they had more of a responsibility to .
They had to walk a higher tightrope , and that's why you don't have those types of jokes in this , necessarily .
Well , there was two pieces , I guess . As you went through that , i guess to stress for me , i didn't feel the departure from reality , like , even like , but that's a that's sort of been an , that's an ongoing thing , but I felt that , yes , he was , he impacted the culture , but I thought he impacted the culture Like . I thought . I thought that that was so .
And I guess that leads me to the second point here , because I also I did not . This was not my favorite scene And this was not my , you know , and I definitely had the PSA thought , but I'm not sure I'm not saying there aren't a whole lot of guys who would make fill in the blank joke that would make everybody's toes curl . I 100% get that .
I am wondering , though , if you're in a locker room where the first rule of fight club is no fight club for long enough that I wonder if this isn't necessarily where you make that joke , even if there's somebody in that room who would even tongue in cheat kind of like .
Obviously I'm not actually a proponent of what I'm saying , but I wonder if in that room that joke doesn't quite fly like it might in some others . Because that was more how I took it , sorry .
No , sorry , but I think I cut you off before your second point .
Oh , no , no , that was it just like the overall culture .
It probably wasn't going to be . It probably wasn't going to be very good .
No , that's fair . We love Ted Lasso . We're so kind to each other . But I think that you're right about that . Ted would have set up a locker room where actually we are not going to demean women , And that's wonderful and amazing and I love that .
It does feel a little bit harder when you are pulling the outside world and its vulgarities into the locker room to ignore that . that is part of it .
I also feel like I am praying I do not to the superpowers that I don't believe in praying that there is a generational gap here and that I , as a 40 year old woman , had a different experience with men when I was in my 20s and teens and throughout my life .
I'm hoping that these 20 year old men would be better about it , but I also know that there were dudes eight years ago when this happened in real life and real women had their pictures posted that because of the brave culture elements of our society , that the violation was part of the draw for them , that they were like oh , we get to see pictures that they
didn't want us to see . These hot actresses wanted us to not look at these , and we are going to , because sex is still set up for men and women as a thing that men get women to do and women are supposed to not let them , and that's the balance that we've struck in a lot of ways . I hope that it's changed .
I really do , because it's fucking vulgar and I hate it . And there are I don't know if I know a single woman who hasn't had a guy say oh well , you moved too fast for me , so I don't want to continue dating you .
And we're like you slept with us , like like we had sex together , and now you're saying that I moved too fast for you because I didn't stop you from having sex with me . Okay , okay , cool , that's fucking great Love that That's set up for us . So I'm hoping that that's changed . I really , really am .
But I also feel like there are some elements left over where men would think like we are going to get this and that that is part of what sex is for them .
So I would . There's a .
Coach , you respond to that one . I'll just , I'm going to sit this one out .
Yeah , thanks , I appreciate that . That's great . No , but I thought that . No , I think , okay , I think there's a generational shift . I don't think it's a whole cloth , Like it's not , like I'm like I'm sure none of that's going on , But I do think , like even the kinds of conversations that kids are having , even what's funny to them , there was a .
I wish I could think of the name of the movie right now because it's going to make me crazy , So I'll think about it . But Tiffany Haddish was in it and it was sort of like part reality , part this loose story of them getting across the country , Damn it .
Anyway , in it there's a scene , Eric Andre , and anyway in it there's a scene where I mean spoilers in this movie . I mean give me a break , But basically a .
Is it a bad ?
trip Coach . Yes , Yes , bad trip . There you go . And so they set up this gag where there's a fake gorilla and somebody , a person ends up in there and they make people around think that the gorilla has now raped this guy . That's basically the joke . I mean , it's in a prison , rape-y kind of way , but it's like the gorilla comes out and blah , blah , blah .
But I'll tell you , man , I'm not saying we enjoyed the joke , Tiffany and I , but I will tell you my kids were full on . what the fuck ? Let's not watch this Wow . It was like wow , you know what I mean . There's a level of tolerance I had , certainly for a certain kind of humor and attitude that they're like fuck that . Yes .
So I do hope that continues . But no , i'm not under the , i'm not so steeped in my Ted Lasso-ness that I actually think like , oh no , that couldn't be happening anymore . I will not all men , in a way you may not be expecting by saying that I can say with all certainty that I've never , ever , held it against a woman who slept with me too soon .
That is because you're smart , unless you slept with me before we met . I don't even understand what too soon means . Did you sleep with me last week before I got here , because otherwise you're right on time , sister ? So I don't really understand what the hell is going on with these guys . But anyway , it probably wasn't that helpful . Yes , no .
And this is one of those cases where it's like all women have experienced this , but not every man has done it . It's just there's some stupid assholes out there , so definitely not all men . Also . I really like between my nieces and some of the younger people I know and yes , i'm at the age where I say some of the younger people .
I know , i genuinely believe that things are different , and I'm hoping they continue to become more different . What I will say , though , is that , then , it does lend some weird generational issues to this scene , because it is Gen X and elder millennials that are like needing to have this conversation more than probably Jamie and Colin would .
Yes , that's a great .
And so they're Yes . Well , i feel like they are having the conversation , as 20-year-old men , that 50 and 40-year-old men need to be having , and that might be why it feels like they're such a disconnect , because this isn't how they would talk . They would already know about all this shit .
They would be talking about it in an entirely different way , and we need to find 20-year-old writers to tell us what they would be saying .
You know what I think . That's why ? Because I had the thought . Daphne Straightup said it , the PSA comment I saw come from several directions And I think you're right , because what do PSAs often feel like ? No man , i don't do drugs , i do hugs , right , it is like .
So if there was something I think you're right , there was something that felt very like these are the things we must make sure . I said , yeah , i feel that , i feel that .
And again to say all this , i am so happy that they are addressing it rather than not . Well sure If you were going to address it . I love that they're talking about it and that they're trying to make people more aware of it . It didn't quite work for me . A for effort , it just The actual execution left me a little cold .
I could not . I know I heard the whole thing and I was trying to think of what's the ? it's not 48 hours , it's trading places . Trading places had a scene on it .
Oh yeah .
Oh yeah .
Same thing , coach , yep .
Right and they were on a train and the Clarence Beaks character was gagged and stuff and the right , girl costume , right . You know any . Any rape joke is is always going to make me real happy . I it's something . I it's oh my God , i don't want to go on a get on a soapbox , but it makes me fucking crazy . It makes me crazy And yeah , it's .
I love that your kids had that reaction to it , coach .
I mean it was like I don't think it would be possible , it was not possible for that movie to recover with them . You know what I mean . Like they were done .
Listen , that's how my daughter was when , when I told you this I think I've said it on the on the podcast when we watched the Big Lebowski together , i was so excited to show my daughter , my 17 year old daughter , the Big Lebowski .
And when John Goodman pulls a gun in the bowling alley , which at the time was so preposterous that it was like , you know , farcical . It was , you know , crazy , but she couldn't . She's like are you ? this guy should be like what is going on here ? What's she going to gloss past the point ?
Yeah that this guy's waving a gun , yeah .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , and she couldn't , she couldn't get back from it . But yeah , this is good . I love the younger generation .
Do you happen to remember who the trained baggage handler was that put the gorilla into the cage with the other gorilla ?
Wasn't it like it wasn't the Hanson brothers or whatever ? It was like the . It was like the . Yeah , i know who you're talking about . I can picture them Who are . Who are those guys There were ?
two .
Oh , oh , wait , wait , wait , was it Al Franken .
It was future Senator Al Franken . No really It was yes .
Oh , that's awesome , That's funny .
Tom Davis and future Senator Al Franken . Oh , that's great . I remember that . That is great Yeah .
Yeah , i do remember that I should still be a Senator , but let's not , let's not get into that . Yeah , take a . Take a moment of silence .
Oh , talking about fumbling the bag , al Jesus Christ , yes , alrighty . Well , yeah , remember we're big in Lithuania .
guys , there you go All right , so we got to . We're not going to get too far in the weeds of American politics .
¶ Locker Room Talk
Declan Cockburn is cast as the boomer in this , in this , this locker room scene . Not , bro , if you don't , if you don't want your private pictures out there , just don't take any pictures , especially being famous . Come on , man , it's that simple . Jamie , fuck that cowburn , call some cowburn , which I was like .
Oh okay , no , no man , the only people to play him were the dickhead . Just steal your shit and put it online . That's why I delete all the photos on my phone . I swear down , especially because I'm famous , and everybody laughs because Jamie's famous Sam says what coach ?
Hey , listen , listen , I'm with Jamie on this one , When I know it's amazing , Whenever I have a relationship and I asked the girl to go through my phone , delete any photos , videos , whatever she wants , which I thought , wow , like glad to hear it .
This might be my yeah , yeah , yeah .
I would never have thought I'm like wow , like I stopped dating a long time ago .
Yeah Well , yes , yes , for sure . But also I hear this and I'm like , oh my God , of course this is , you know , looking . I'm like this is a well-raised young man . And then this is probably my favorite moment of the whole thing Van Damme goes bro for real . Yeah . I'm being serious . Yeah , this is the favorite part . Go ahead , coach .
You know , one girl actually deleted Candy Crush . I was devastated , but I also understood that was a great I thought way too much about that line Oh okay , like I've given an eight-disc purport And especially the way , sam , he's like I was devastated .
You know , like this beauty , he just rocks , so lyrical . The way he talks , i love it . But he's like but I also understood And it was like I gave this woman the opportunity to delete anything on my phone . That's what I said . And she's like yeah , also , you don't get Candy Crush anymore .
And now that you left me , i was like , wow , kind of kind of love that woman .
Did we talk about how that was a callback to beer , deleting the game off of Higgins' phone ?
Oh . No , we did not Because .
Higgins understood also . He was disappointed but he understood . I can't remember what game it was , but when beer found his phone , he deleted it .
Yeah , i was spending too much time on that . Anyway , you're 100% Boss . Oh , boss , boss , don't be .
This is why you keep me around .
Wow , nice , that's a good poll . Fuck Collins says hey , hold on . One summer sends you a photo . Now it gets like this is where it gets like hey , wait a sec , let's go through the all right . Once you send a photo , don't you own it ? and copyright law , Private photography is quite murky .
Yann Moss is the appropriate person to say that It's not about the law , it's about doing what is right , like it , lemme serrab . And this is you know , talk about Jean Verjean . This is Danny saying that it's not about the law . Now we get Jeff Goodman in a one-er , yelling , pointing and yelling .
It's like such an insert , you know what I mean , it was like a really bad cut . And he yells fuck you out , 24601 . But it's only him in frame And you go like , ah , like it felt like it slowed the action down . It wasn't , i don't know . I really hated this shot And I'd listen . I will be . You will hear me defend Lemus to the ends of the earth .
I mean , i know boss doesn't like what is it ? She doesn't like happiness , sorry .
Happiness joy , Although I do still know every single line to lay miss .
That's so interesting . I'm glad . I'm glad that you have to suffer with that knowledge , boss . That's good , i like that . And rent , yeah , no , you say rent . It's funny , i don't love rent . Rent was one of the ones that missed me . There's a few that I've seen on Broadway and I remember I saw Wicked and I was like yeah , like okay , not for me .
And then there's some really bizarre ones that did land for me . That I liked . Avenue Q was a really weird one with Muppets , really raunchy Muppets . Years ago I laughed my ass off . I thought it was funny .
I had a friend in the traveling company for Avenue Q .
Is that right ? Yeah , oh my .
God Anika .
There was like a Cookie Monster character who would sing a song about how the internet is for porn , and it was like someone would sing a line and then the Cookie Monster character would just add four porn to the end . What is that like ? That's like oh , when you get , okay , i know what it's like .
It's like that old thing where , when you get a fortune cookie , you have to cook in bed , in bed , yeah , It was just that sort of .
Your fortune in bed . Yeah , yeah , exactly right , Yeah .
So I actually sorry , I did see Avenue Q also and I don't remember it that well , but the actress that played one of the Muppets so like just for those who haven't seen it they just like on a stick , hold them up it and they're talking and they're on stage next to them while they're moving this Muppet around and like making them dance and everything .
And one of the actors was pregnant while she was doing this role and she was supposed to be a child who was a Muppet and she was pregnant And that , in addition to the rest of like raunchy Sesame Street type vibe that was going on , was amazing . I was like there's weirdness happening and I love this .
This is great . And before that mixing of genres , there was this great song that I remember where it was like basically Ernie and Bert type characters , or one is singing it's okay if you're gay , but I'm not gay . But it's okay if you're gay , but I'm not gay . I was like oh , my God . It was .
So You listen to it now and it feels like really dated and that was only a few years ago . So I think you know what That's a good thing . Every time something from not that long ago feels like it was written by dinosaurs , you're like , okay , good , this is good actually , all right , so we are with Colin . Deleting photos makes no sense .
I'm like is Colin still playing hetero man here ?
I didn't think so I thought this was from Colin , because , think about it , in some ways he talks about the people take off and this , and that I mean in some ways these pictures , are a real part of what he gets to hold on to .
I don't have it . Boss , you are the whipper snapper on the team here . Do you have experience with having this type of material sent to you ? Because I missed this whole . This was not something that was part of my . I'm saying I've literally never had anything salacious sent to me . That's not like a text with suggestive overtones . I don't think there's .
I don't think I've ever had anything naughty sent to me via electronic delivery systems .
Oh , are you getting body telegraph ? Is that where you're at now ? Like you have a carrier pigeon bringing you a tiny little , oh , nice .
Maybe at the back of the theater Stop .
I won't get into all the details , but I somehow have managed to never have an unsolicited dick pic sent to me . Is how I will phrase that .
Okay , good , All right good . I'm liking the specific phrasing loving that Also .
Also , I'm real sorry to my sisters and possibly mom for listening to this . Sorry about that .
This is where I do And I feel it . So let me just start . Let me lean into the fact that I feel it as I go to make this point . I don't get the unsolicited dick pic thing , and I'm not saying that on a women , respect I mean , yes , all those things , all those things , but on a fundamental , are you sure ?
If it's unsolic , i feel like the risk there is just through the roof And I'm not sure How often does a woman shocker looked out at her phone and think , guess who's getting a call tonight . Guess who's getting a call tonight .
I just Can't wait to . I'll hit you back in a minute , brett Farr .
Yeah exactly With your crocs in the picture . I was like , oh for the love of God . Jesus .
Christ , really Christ , jesus Christ , it's so bad It's so bad .
And also I don't know if you know this , but doing that opens you up to so much ridicule , not just like the woman is going to say , like this is uncalled for and unacceptable and I don't want to go on that date with you anymore , but like then you'll have women because I did see this the other day respond with oh my God , did you just send me a little
kid's dick ? Why would you do ? that . That's so disgusting . I'm going to have to report you . Why do you have a picture of a child's dick on your phone ? That's great . This is so gross . That's great .
And then he had to say , oh , no , no , no .
That is my penis , which , like there's no recovery from that You're not coming back up .
No , no , no , that is my penis .
¶ Deleting Unsolicited Dick Pics
And while we're on the topic , do you like it ? Yeah , no , you . Just I added the crocs to it . Yes , because the shape of the crocs suggests the head of the penis on your penis feet .
And then you burn your phone . Then you find the nearest cliff and you chuck your phone off of it because you can't let anybody find that ever .
It just seems weird to me . But whatever People are strange , They shouldn't have the power to invade someone else's privacy with unsolicited Dick pics . I don't get it . I don't get it , but listen . Deleting photos makes no sense . Do we delete our memories too ? No , because no one can steal your memories , says Isaac , And Bumbercatch says what boss ?
That's not entirely true .
Yep , and now we go through it . Which ? that's on brand for Bumbercatch ? That's his . Yeah , he could give you a little lecture about what's behind that . What if Arlo Dixon gets a line ? What if I took the photo ? Isaac , you should delete it . Coo-coach , what if it's a Christmas card ? Delete it , bro , says Jamie . Tommy Winchester What if it's artsy ?
Now Jamie says what the fuck does that mean ? It's in black and white , you can't see your head . Delete it , mate . Robbie Roberts . What if I'm in the photo ? Delete it . Paul Reynolds Oh , i know . What about sonograms ? Delete that . I'm not sure your baby in the book .
Hey , I was like what is happening , right ?
now , yeah , yeah , bumbercatch , delete that shit , richard . What if I'm French ? That should have been the joke where they're like if you're French , no , you can keep . I'm like where is the joke ? I'm waiting for the . You're going to set up , set up , set up , set up , set up , right . And I'm like what if I'm French ?
We're like okay , yeah , i know , if you're French , like , then you're off the . Or at least a joke , a fake joke . Like no , obviously delete it . Like at least head fake . Tom O'Brien , what if she's naked but not sexual ? It's not sexual . Bumbercatch says what the fuck ? What is she doing in it ? She's just defecating .
I was like that was pretty good delivery from Tom O'Brien .
I thought The delivery was good , but in that case then , is it humorous or is it like Listen , I'm not going to judge If somebody willingly let you take a picture of her on the toilet , naked , defecating number one , I need to know full on naked like all the way naked .
It's just like Jade stuff , like just your . You just Yeah , like you just had someone who's very comfortable with their own bathroom stuff .
And that sounds great . I don't know who would be interested in seeing that photo Also , just real quick , but I do want to mention there is a very small child in my life . I don't want to get specific in case this embarrasses him later , but he did need to Please .
God .
Okay , jesus Christ , i thought we were getting another abortion joke , god no no , no , no , no , no no . Those were the bad years to my life .
Oh my God , No , no no , no , no .
A three-year-old in my life who is potty training and needed to use the bathroom so bad this weekend that , as he was running into the house , he just took off all of his clothes on the way to the bathroom . left on his shoes though . So maybe it's one of those pictures , maybe it's a woman fully naked with shoes on the toilet .
I don't know , but I don't understand it .
I'm all for that kind of like abandon , that's . I love when kids do this . Oh my God . It's so great . I am here for it . I think that's wonderful .
That's why it's so funny when you see Sometimes I know Letter Kenny's done this joke , A lot of shows do this joke but you see like three guys standing at a urinal in your shoulder height and then you pull back for the wider shot and two of them have used their flies and the guy in the middle has his pants and his pink nose .
Oh yeah , it's really good .
I enjoy that . All right , so Will . Now Will jumps in . What about ? I like Will so much that I was like , oh good , i'm glad he's in this . I feel like we have more connectivity to Will than some of the players that we didn't know . He says what about a commissioned painting ? Jamie asks is it in a nice frame ? He says it's leaning against my couch .
He says got to burn it , bro . I thought that was funny . I'm like wait what ?
I thought that was funny . But it's like what I thought it was funny that Jamie had a ready answer for that . That is happening .
Yeah , okay , i was like oh my God , this is very . I think they're trying to say like there are no exceptions . No , no , no , i shouldn't have to delete my photos just because I might get stolen . It's my stuff , don't touch it . It says Colin Sam says whoa , whoa , whoa . Hey guys , this article says Keely is one of the women who have attacked .
Now we get a shot of Jamie and then we get a shot of Roy Roy's at the board . He doesn't turn around , he's just writing . And this is the moment that Isaac has had enough . And what does he say ? coach ?
Right , everybody , take out your phones . delete every single picture and video that you've ever been sent . Now we're all targets for this shit , so delete everything .
Now you get Robbie Roberts who says but we're professional footballers , It could take days . And Danny says , if not weeks . Danny is a freak man .
Remember when he woke up after he killed the girl Yeah , and he was with two women I was like go ahead , danny , all right .
Yeah , he's always with two women , it's no joke . In a future episode we see that too . We know that because we know the future . One of the very few podcasts It's so funny Tell the future .
I was like coach , that's usually my move .
But I don't care , i don't care . We got to spice up this episode . However , we can coach , we're professional footballers . It could take days , if not weeks . Isaac says , no , hey man , take out your phone Bumper , catch us . Now we get strangers by the kinks playing .
The kinks I've mentioned before are one of my favorite bands And when everyone else was listening to top 40 music and I was a very I don't know a young kid , i was listening to the kinks because I had found a random cassette tape somewhere I don't even know how it got into my possession . I had some older brothers who listened to terrible music .
Like really , you know , they're supposed to get you into like Bob Dylan , but for some reason they were .
You know , they were like listening to shit And I somehow stumbled upon a kinks tape And I was hooked , absolutely hooked , and I felt like such a like , such a badass in like fifth grade When everyone was listening to Casey Case and I'm like whatever kinks , my jam , you know I also .
There's a great story one time about we have a friend who told me a story . I love this story , so I'm just going to add this . It has nothing to do with anything , but I sort of want to have it said to somewhere . There was , like he was in high school . He's he's our age coach And he told me that he heard oh God , was it you two ?
There was a you two song dropping on BBC radio one And so he couldn't get . You couldn't get that in the United States , but he drove out to the farthest pier on Long Island or something , and if you drove out there you could get one like really weak signal from the BBC .
I don't , this is according to him and that he listened to the live drop of some British . I'm like I really love that as a scene . You know what ? I mean , i just love this moment . That doesn't happen anymore . That never will happen again .
But like I trust that he said it in a way that made me think he wasn't bullshitting me , but when I think about the miles in between it feels like bullshit . But he was like no , no , you really could catch it in this one pier on Long Island if you drove , whatever .
And he was like the middle of the night with his girlfriend And they heard the song drop live . And I was like , oh , this is so cool And you don't have you know , something like that will never happen again . But I thought it was beautiful .
I like that .
It depends a lot on what song ? it was . It is beautiful , it sounds amazing . But what if the song is disappointing ? What if you drive all the way out to Long Island and then the song sucks ?
Yeah , i feel like it was . I feel like it was an iconic one , i feel , and I don't remember . I wish I remembered . But I feel like it was like one of those U2 songs that were you just like . I don't think it was Josh Uhtri , but it doesn't matter . It was like something really really , you know , sort of universally beloved and was a huge hit .
It wasn't from the Polka years .
No see , but this is the difference . The movie that you're writing is some sort of Cameron Crow , like coming of age with his girlfriend in the middle of the night , and this is what music means to me And mine is like the comedy version of that , where the song is whatever terrible album they forced onto everybody's iPhone 10 years ago .
And you get the wide drone shot of the car from the side on the pier as the front legs of the pier break and the car just drops into the water .
Yes Who the fuck drops a Christmas album in September .
Fucking Ted Lasso , apparently I almost said August .
And then I was like , Oh no , I wandered into it .
I did it . I accidentally said the thing Also , just to tie this up very quickly . Your older siblings are supposed to teach you about good music , But sometimes , if you're my youngest brother and you're 12 years younger than I am , at one point you say to me Hey , so I've been getting into a lot of like vintage music , like old stuff .
That's really good , And I'm like that sounds amazing . What ? are you listening ? to And he's like , oh , like Bob Dylan and Van Morrison and the blue album by Weezer . And then I say get the fuck out of my way .
This is , like you know , the Weezer sketch on SNL , right ? I referenced it before . on this , like , okay , we just , i just got to put the link to the thing , folks , because it is so funny . And this is which one of you , i think , was coach , who said I love when people argue about inconsequential bullshit . It's a whole .
It's a thing about people meeting at a dinner party And one is Matt Damon And one is Leslie . Oh God . She said . Oh my God , can't they work ?
Leslie Jones .
Leslie Jones yes , leslie Jones , and and one is a pre blue album Weezer fan and one is a post blue album Weezer fan , and they they have start with a polite conversation and then it ends up just devolving into like I'm going to stab you in the face . It is so good . Anyway , yes , that is I like that . You had that reaction , boss .
It's not vintage . It came out when I was 14 , which was like 12 years ago . I don't understand that you could say it's old even .
Well , now we get anyway . The kinks are playing . Roy quietly goes into the coach's office . We get shots of everyone deleting . My favorite moment of this sequence is Jamie kind of glancing over to see what will is deleting And it's like appraising like damn Jesus , like what's a freak .
I , i in my mind , as we all create our mythology around around Ted Lasso , that there were Amsterdam picks . It was a threesome . He had to . He had to let go of the threesome .
Yes , yes .
Yeah , i'm fine with that . I hope that's what it was , and , but it's part of me . He's got a . he's got a commissioned painting . you know , part of me thinks there's probably more to him than meets the eye with regard to to this , so I really just bet you wasn't doing this when you was 11 , zaba . That's right .
Yeah Well , you never know , let's hope not at least .
Yeah , I also I appreciate where they are coming from . With the , we are famous football player footballers . We cannot have materials that people sent to us on our phone because of the risk that we pose to them if it should ever be leaked or hacked or anything else . I appreciate all of that . I do feel like this is an interim step in between .
Don't take photos if you don't want them leaked , and everybody could have whatever photos they want anywhere at any time , and we should respect their privacy . So I appreciate that we are here , but I do feel like the final step of this conversation is you just don't hack people's phones and steal their nudes or their non nude photos .
Just fucking respect people's privacy . And then Colin could have the photos that he wants . And if Keely was like , damn it , my boobs looked great in that photo , I cannot believe that you deleted that shit . I would like that from my records please . She should be able to have that .
¶ Sex and Consent Conversation Reframed
I love that is a very non boss take because you love you like , when there's connectivity to the real world which is full of shit heels . So your thing like , hey , listen , we should all be able to keep whatever we can keep . My thing is like , listen , just learn how to have better passwords , learn what a VPN is . It's not that hard to protect your stuff .
Don't connect to public Wi-Fi and things like just really basic kind of things . But yeah , i mean , i like that you're becoming altruistic here , boss .
Well , i'm not . I am not saying that we are going to get there .
I am saying that that is the argument and the position that I am taking from now on , that whenever anybody says anything about like don't have the pictures , don't put them in the cloud , don't make sure your password has an equal number of numbers and also special characters or whatever Fuck that , no like . The answer is you don't take people's shit .
That's it , period And of debate . But we aren't there yet . I know that we're not there yet , but that is what I say , is the only thing that is an acceptable position for me , moving forward .
Yes , and I hear you and I would say it feels very much like and I would butcher it So I'm not even going to try to recite it But I saw a meme that was essentially rape prevention shouldn't be telling women how not to get raped .
It should be telling men not to rape , But I was like huh , it's one more meeting on my calendar , But I got to say it's a pretty fair assessment of the situation . But you know what I mean . Like it was just you know , you know me as I pick my nose . Oh , it's a good idea , i like that , but yeah .
I know . But yeah , i feel like and this is going to take any number of steps and conversations and reworking how we view sex between men and women , because a lot of the shit that I mentioned before doesn't seem to come up in same sex relationships .
This is a power dynamic between men and women because it's related to white supremacist supremacy , patriarchy And like that's a whole fucking thing to unpack and unload .
And not to be outdone . There are religious elements to it , where the binary nature of good versus evil and saying this is good , this is bad , this is acceptable , this is unacceptable , all that stuff .
So , yes , that's why , in places in the world that are not as more liberated and less tethered to patriarchal foundational systems of oppression , you know you can have some more freedom and why it's such an issue here in America .
Sort of building on that and something you pointed us toward earlier , boss , that dynamic and , as far as I was , in no soul pancake or whatever , like I was in some videos that they did call what he said or something like that , but anyway , there was a bunch of guys talking about all these different issues around manhood and gender or dating and whatever , and
that was one of the points that I came to and it was like as long as sex is something that men are told they should go out and get , there's going to be a percentage of men who are going to go get it .
Like you know what I mean , like we just it's like the whole framing is a prize , like it's not louder rape whistles or just saying , hey , be a gentleman . It's like our whole framing around this conversation is really off .
And one thing that you know that burns me I just I hate you know it's not quite where coaches with the rape jokes was close for me is the joke of the prom date or the whatever date , and the dad takes a picture like with a gun and the , and I'm like this is not funny at all , like this is problematic on like 10 different levels And and but it's .
It's rooted in that right . It's rooted in don't you go ruining my property tonight Like what the fuck .
¶ Gender, Beauty, and Violence Awareness
Yes , as long as sex is seen as a conquest , there are going to be conquerors , and conquerors are violent assholes .
And that's it .
Yeah , Except for Alexander the Great who was really charming and sort of delightful .
Oh yeah , for sure , except for him .
Yeah , Nobody talks about the people he didn't kill .
Your point stands .
I am assuming , when coach nobody talks about the people he didn't kill .
Why is that ? God damn it coach , that was good , that was great . Yeah , listen , we have God . This is . This is every 10 minutes somewhere in the world . Not a lesson girl dies as a result of violence . Nearly one in five girls sexually abused are sexually abused at least once in their life .
In the United States , 18% of girls report by the age of 17 , they have been victims of sexual assault or abuse at the hands of another adolescent . So these are not things to be taken lightly . I , yeah , anything rape related makes me crazy and it gets me so fired up and I just wish God .
We just need more conversation about it and more awareness , and people need to raise better boys . I will say that I don't always think that it's the oh , the messaging around , oh , the conquest . I think it's also part of like biological sort of .
I think we tend to whistle past the graveyard about the power of testosterone and we don't teach boys what to do with it and we don't teach enough about masturbation , i think , and we don't teach , like , how to channel your urges into other things and whatever . We just don't .
You know , it's like sometimes you hear people do a sex change and they go oh my God , like testosterone makes me want to fucking bite the head off of marble .
Yeah , seeing people talk about that it's really interesting Yeah .
So it's like it's not just one thing , it's not just , oh , the messaging about yeah , okay , yes , there was something . What was it like ? okay , a study of print media , researchers at Wesleyan University found that , on average , across 58 different magazines , 51.8% of advertisements I wanted to say advertisements , because we're doing a British show .
For some reason , i don't know why 51.8% of advertisements that featured women portrayed them as sex objects . However , when women appeared in advertisements in men's magazines , they were objectified 76% of the time . So it's so many things across the spectrum that contribute to this .
You'll notice that sometimes , when we start , i say , hello , beautiful people , and that's not a . I don't care about physical beauty , there are so many beautiful people in the world . When I say that , i'm talking to the inner beauty of everybody And it's really important to me .
I don't know when it changed for me , because I think I was a little shit at , you know , growing up , and I was a generic asshole like everybody else . Maybe it was Fellini's eight and a half , where he was so fascinated by weird looking people and just like how beautiful and interesting everyone's faces are .
Then I started to try to pay more attention to people's character and actions than I did their looks And remember we talked about how people human beings are biologically programmed to trust people who are better looking .
So if you have a very handsome man and an average man in the same room , your generic studio audience will trust the handsome man more just off , without having heard anything from either one of them . So I think these are pitfalls for humanity and pitfalls for for for sort of our biological programming . Listen to this . This is what's fascinating .
And there's so many beautiful , amazing people out there that would are not considered , you know , sort of generically magazine , attractive or whatever the fuck that is .
Research conducted by the Dove self esteem project found that only 11% of girls worldwide would call themselves beautiful And six in 10 girls avoid participating in life activities because of concerns about the way they look . Six of 10 . Listen to this one . This , this makes me want to weep for a week . Brace yourself for this stat .
One third of all six year olds in Japan experience low body confidence . Holy fuck , one third of all six year olds . This is from UNICEF , a UNICEF website , and the Dove Self-Esteem Project . One third of all six year olds in Japan experience low body confidence .
Australian girls list body image as one of their top three worries in life , while 81% of 10 year old girls in the United States say they are afraid of being fat .
So I know it's a terrible downer , but when I say I just wish , i hope , i think that we have the technology to someday show people from the inside out , show people from their it's like , their aura or their character or their being , and how good and kind and wonderful they are , and stop just localizing on makeup made up , physical good looks , thinness , all
this , whatever nonsense that we purportedly think is attractive and start to value people for who they actually are .
I heard sorry , i was in college , so clearly the story happened in black and white And so but we that's racist , but has . Professor Sylvia Boone , you know , was like an authority on West African history , particularly the people , the Mende people , excuse me .
And so she tells us about going there and learning about standards of beauty And she had done a lot , of , you know , looking into this and even told us stories about like magazines when she was a girl that had like things you could do to like flatten your butt , you know , which is very you know . So , anyway , all those things .
So she goes and she visits the Mende and so she asks , like who's considered like the most beautiful woman around these parts , essentially , and they point across some fields to this woman who's walking up , and you know , not like oh my God , she's , but it was sort of like huh , like she doesn't seem any more beautiful , or anybody else who's , you know , standing
out here , and the response she got was but you haven't heard her sing yet .
Oh , wow , right Oh .
Like that was one of those like , when people were like we're supporting the college . I'm like that fucking moment is supporting the college , because you go , oh , there's a whole other way to see this blue marble . Oh Yeah , and I will . I will hold on a story .
I mean it was like 30 years ago now almost , and yeah , 30 years ago now , and I still can recall like sitting in that room and being , like you know , mind blown .
Coach , do you recall what the historical song of the FC Richmond squad was ?
Oh , that's right , The fat bottom girls . But you know there were protests , yeah , from the flat bottom girls . I was like , oh my God
¶ Privacy and Perception in Ted Lasso
.
So we have everybody deleting all of their pictures of all the various people on their phones , beautiful and non-beautiful alike . Jamie and Sam walk out of the locker room together . Colin walks out to get some privacy I'm just going to say things with an English lilt This absolutely privacy schedule .
And Colin Isaac says Colin , i wasn't playing , i told you to delete that shit . And what does Colin say ? boss ?
I will man Fuck off .
And Isaac says I said delete it right now . And Isaac just grabs it , just rests it out of Colin's hands , boom , and Colin says hey , hey , hey , and Isaac shoves him down And Isaac tells him to fuck off . And then what happens here , boss ?
Well , isaac looks at the phone and realizes that they are male bodies , presumably because Colin is a gay man and must be getting solicited dickpacks we'll hope for And realizes Colin is gay . And I would like to add the irony is not lost on me that we were just talking about invading somebody else's privacy and accessing photos that you shouldn't be accessing .
And Isaac , in his like a desire to make sure that his entire team does right . Invades . Colin's privacy and accesses photos he shouldn't be seeing .
In the locker room . Colin . I noticed as we were going through it but didn't want to try to like jump forward In the locker . He says my stuff , leave it , leave it . You know right . No , steal it whatever . Like he , he , yeah , he , they , they set up this moment . You're right , though .
I mean I get why Isaac thought that was okay with Colin , but also you're 100% correct Like it was not his place to be grabbing that . Fuck . One Period .
Uh , Colo Bacchini , who plays Isaac , has this fantastic brow where they shot it from the side while he's looking at this and his brows so furrowed and so intense , And I'm like , God damn , he's a beautiful man . Um , he's just so cool to look at And , um , you see him scant .
This is like this stillness as he appraises , And then he kind of nods and hands the phone back silently to Colin and walks away And then we get a beauty . We always talk about shot selection . We get a beautiful shot .
We push in on Colin And when you're pushing in , it's they want you to take a moment and , and you know , really notice the emotion of the shot And we have Colin off center on a couch . Uh , for the first time , like you know , this is , we had the moment where , oh shit , He was found out by Trent , but now , now it's his real oh shit moment .
Um , and yes , it's , it's , it's heavy .
Yes , i will say , even when the writing itself doesn't work , the dialogue , specifically when that doesn't work . For me , it was an extremely effective way of showing Colin feeling like the walls were closing in on him , because Isaac knows , and Isaac is the team captain and Isaac could make things extremely bad for him .
So that feeling of claustrophobia coming in around him , as he sort of I don't think he's full on panicking yet , but you could it's one of those moments where you're like , oh fuck , it is about to hit . Yes , this is going to be bad .
Yeah , Yeah , well , said , exactly right , boss . Um , so now we cut to uh man , that's a lot there . We cut to Keely and and uh , and actually you know what ? I think we'll , i think we'll stop there today . Um , yeah , we did one scene .
We did one scene , but it does feel like that sort of I don't know somehow the bulk of the episode . Yeah , No , it really , it really does feel that way Um because we will get a nice scene with Rebecca and Keely those are always good And then it is loose and loose and loose and loose and I feel like just tying them up .
Yeah , yeah . Well , i will say that the scene with Keely and Rebecca coming up at least juxtaposes the . As a viewer , i feel the safety of Rebecca with Keely and I feel the uncertainty of Jack with Keely , if that makes sense .
And also , i think like part of this is , you know , we try to be feminists on the show and coach and I try to do our part and and fight the good fight And we try to just maybe cast the light on things that the other ogres like us might not cast light on .
Um , and then I get like wildly , uh , bummed out when I see a lesbian relationship with a fucking asshole in it , cause I'm like , but there's no dude , this should be perfect . I don't understand , oh yeah . There's no dumb fucker to wreck everything , and yet you still can't .
Yeah , man , lesbians can be assholes too sometimes .
I don't . I just just don't want to believe that . But yes , uh , i'm again being instructed by Ted Lasso . Um , so , yes , we'll pick it up next time . Uh , from Rebecca and Keely in Rebecca's office . Um , whoo , this is , this was . Um , yeah , this is . Listen , uh , i appreciate that .
Uh , there might be friends of ours out there , listeners of ours out there , who might not uh caught into our take on this particular particular episode . I encourage you to keep your um . You know we get a lot of emails . They're so good . Oh , my God , it's been such a thrill to read everyone's input into this .
Um , if we touched on a point that you have insight into , please uh send it to us so we can discuss it and go over it . And we we have , uh very special episodes coming up where we're going to sort of try to pick apart a few of these concepts . Um , and , yes , this was , this was one of those . This .
I feel like I'm pretty happy about getting through this scene in particular , because it just felt like , um , i don't know this was , this was a pivot point for a lot of people with this episode .
Well , i'll say , you know , in my cheerleader role , but but really I do mean this that this is a show rich enough that we could the three of us could agree that it's our least . Well , i thought we did . Maybe I'm wrong . I think it's of the series right , like sort of hands down . Oh not for not , yeah , okay .
I was , i was . I mean Christmas episode yeah , yeah , yeah yeah . A couple of us , but this is in the in the rabbit response boss and I are . I think all of us may have said oh , this had similarities in certain ways .
I had that kind of feel to it But but where I was going , you know where I was going there is . Even with that being the case , the show is rich enough that we've touched on all the things that we've just touched on and the conversation makes sense to me And I think that is part of , and I think that did I do .
I do believe that lasts from beginning to end . Whether we're talking about divorce , whether we're talking about , you know , the importance of therapy and managing trauma , whether we're talking about right , you know sexuality and technology and right , like all this stuff , it's so rich that I do feel like it does bring you a lot of life . It's not .
I know that we joke about it and the Disney element of it , but I think there is a lot in there .
No , I have to agree , Like , especially now that we have seen the finale and we know exactly how the story completes and everything else that goes along with that , outside of the actual entertainment value of the episodes that I adore . Like that the cast went to the White House to talk about mental health .
Like I don't think that we could say that it didn't have a societal impact . Who knows if , 10 years from now , people will say like Oh well , Ted Lasso did this , or if it's just going to be . Our culture continues to change in a way that the show would like it to , so we don't need to reference the show , because we've incorporated a lot of these ideas .
The other day someone was making that point about how culture can impact conversations , And one for me was Philadelphia with Tom Hanks and Dento Washington , and I felt a little like a little silly realizing it , because it kind of felt like , well , why weren't you already thinking that ? But I wasn't already . you know what I mean .
Like I wasn't in full knuckle dragging mode , but that certainly caught me along my path and moved me along mightily to where I went to , like full on , all right , everybody , let's cut the shit . Like you know what I mean And yeah , those you know .
and I'm sure for someone who'd been dealing with these issues for 10 years , there was a certain like , oh my God , is this Sesame Street ? Like , are you serious ? But it did meet me where I was . So I think there's that value too .
I love you , coach . You are the best . You really are the best . My God , my God , what a . He's just a thing of beauty , right , boss ?
It's true . Now we're agreeing again , which should also creep you out .
Oh God . Well , i also adore you , boss , and I really appreciate that . I'm glad that people are happy in Chicago . My guess is that Luke is going to be able to edit out the sounds of the people talking behind you . To print your mic back on right now . For me , boss , yeah , for sure .
And so it gives this whole episode sort of a intermission at Lincoln Center , feel to it Like we're chatting over some you know bad wine at half time .
But yeah , i could click some silverware and stuff around if that would help .
We need just the sound of a waiter accidentally bumping into you . But yeah , no , thank you everyone for listening , for joining us , for being part of this community , for being part of this amazing show and taking the journey with us .
¶ Finding the Coaches
Coach , where do people find me if they want to find you ?
We alignalignpcom , and that is where you can find video of me eating my own hair , so that's very exciting . No , that's our online community for our online performance coaching . Just a little shandy reference for the deep cut lovers , but yeah , i would love to see you in there .
I actually think we got a person or two come in to visit , so that was nice And yeah see you soon . Let's live our best lives .
Those people are the smartest people in our audience . I'll tell you right now Everybody should have coach in their life , and I'm not kidding . Do I think that him trying to sell his coaching practice using a shandy find reference is genius ? No , i don't . It's just not very aligned with what he's pushing Not a whole lot of hair eating .
No , there's not actually very much hair eating at all .
So don't get your hopes up for some real , real freaky shit . But yeah , no , coach is seriously . Everything you hear on this show is him like , without a filter , just being coach . This is who he is And it is wonderful And it has been one of the great honors of my life to work with him . It's been a much , much less of an honor to work with boss .
But boss , where do people find you ? I wouldn't even call it an honor , i'd call it a burden , probably .
Well see , I was just going to say you haven't worked with me long enough to say it's such a great honor , But also you have no idea what kind of burden it will become because of that . You can find me on Twitter at dummily underscore chambers . I did in fact tweet the Weezer SNL sketch , so you have it there and we also have it in the show .
Yes , thank you .
Thank you Of course Also I am mean and scary on the podcast and sometimes on Twitter to people individual person .
I try to be very nice to , so if you wanted to send me a message I've had a few people I mentioned Lauren and Chris and Bridget , eileen and a few others Please feel free , i will be nice and I will say thank you and I will not yell at you . I really appreciate it .
So please feel free to reach out , also writing at the antagonist , which is antagonistblogcom , and mulling a Kevin can fuck himself post . So we'll see how that turns out .
Oh I , you know , I covered season one .
But season one . Yeah , yeah .
But have you season two ? has that dropped yet ?
It has , but I am rewatching season one right now so that I am fresh and I will be starting season two probably tomorrow .
Okay , now listen , i know that you and I are , see , we're very sympatico with these . We got to watch the bear together . We got to watch season two of Kevin can fuck himself together . Look at coach , it just glazed eyes . What .
No , no , no no . Actually I was thinking there's another one on my list that like is buried on my list , but I wanted to watch that . I thought that was very just a funny . I thought the whole approach was funny .
Oh God , it's really great , it's really great .
Are you talking about ? Kevin can fuck himself ? Yes , okay , okay , yeah . No , i have issues with it , but I love that .
I thought the premise was , like , absolutely outstanding And , for those that don't know , it's a show where it swaps between the single camera and multi-camera type of show , so in one way it is whenever God , the Kevin , the titular Kevin character is on , is in the scene . It's a multi-camera nightmarish sort of comedy like a King of Queens S comedy .
Yeah , yeah , I was going to say I don't want to call out a specific comedy , but it's like a King of Queens . It's basically King of Queens .
And then as soon as he's off camera , it turns into a single camera sort of drama with her life where you're like Jesus Christ , like much more hardcore . The lighting changes . You're just like gee For me .
I'm so invested in the her part of it that sometimes , whenever we get to the , when we're back to the , the yuck ended up in the laugh tracks I'm like God damn it . It makes me crazy because I'm like I want to , i want to . You know , it makes me want to kill that guy , you know .
Paws . Yeah , you mean Eric Peterson . Yeah , yes , that's the actor . You don't actually want to kill him . I have seen him in a couple of interviews that he seems wonderful . Oh no , he's great . Well , i can't . But like I tell you , i've just seen like this series , it's like a series , two Show , sign this show , i don't know what you mean by that .
I'm just confused whether it's a show , this is a game you're supposed to do , but I'm thinking about the show , does not just look there .
Oh , i was going to enter that show . There's noemen하sThere duty . Have you finished that yet , boss ?
No , I need to get on that .
We'll talk . Everyone who has joined us . Thank you so much . Thank you for for listening . Please support your local libraries Please . If you feel like sponsoring us , there's a link in the show description . Please support the written word And until next time we are .
Richmond .
I was just saying how great you are . You're not great , you're a terrible man . Thank you , thank you both . Thanks everybody , we'll see you next time .