Ted Lasso | S3 Ep12 Part3 "So Long, Farewell"

But if you're here just to hear about the finale , we are here on part three . Today there is part one and two for your perusing enjoyment . My name is Coach Castleton and I'm your host . With me , as always , is Coach Bishop Shut up TA . Yeah , that's it . That's like I like that . He's a good sport about that .

That like his feature in a show is just people tying the shut up . Something about that makes me feel like the boss was on a show and we said like we're gonna like kind of make fun of you the whole time . Shut up . Okay , those dulcet tones were from our boss , emily Chambers .

And the last time I saw her she told me number one by talking to me . I had not convinced , but just opened up the possibility of not having children and not getting married for her . She was like oh shit , I can do that , it's like she's like I haven't decided when we're the other , it's just the idea of being able to .

And also she said oh , I thought you were taught . When I told her my height , she was like oh , you seem taller than that . And I'm like , well , you're my favorite person that's ever existed . Like I can't love anybody more than I love somebody that told me those things .

If you tell me that I'm taller than I or I seem taller than I am done , we're best friends .

So I really appreciate you just like being completely open about your like wookie sensibilities . Yes , and now it's really good , like it's a , it's a . It is hugely empowering and it dispels any notion that you are anything but 100% authentic and I love it . You do seem a little taller . You seem like a .

You know , like we were trick or treating last night and my daughter's afraid of dogs , which is a is something I'll never coach . It's the worst thing in the world , because I'm the biggest dog person . So I would go up and pet every dog on every house and meanwhile she's standing back there and I'm like , come on , they're really nice .

And I was trying to explain to her that , like , sometimes little dogs think they're big dogs . So they , they're really like . They present , like they're sure that they're a great day . And sometimes big , big monster dogs , they think they're a lap dog , they think they're just like a pup . They don't understand why they can't be on your lap at all times .

Like well , you weigh 120 pounds . Like you are a monster , you're like a legitimate , like Grims fairy tale level beast . That's why you can't be like on my shoulder like a cat . And so I was thinking about biggie Smalls and I was thinking about how coach is like a little dog person . But , boss , you do have some of that .

It's not little dog energy at all , it's somehow big dog energy . But also I could see how anyone would think like you're a little , a little bit taller , you just , you just , you're a force boss .

Maddie weighed at least 70 pounds and Kathy would drive with Maddie on her lap , like they would both get into the car and Kathy would buckle her seatbelt and then Maddie would like put her head on the armrest like in her lap . She tried to do it with me once and I'm like no , I am not that much Like my mother . We are not . I can't .

I heard some like big ass paws and the tickle of claws on hardwood , and you very much have that , like you know , and it's good , because sometimes we'll go down a rabbit hole on this podcast and we are .

It's something I wanted to talk about a little bit because I know we get emails from our listener community and our butter cups , who are our subscriber base , our people who support the show , and we get a lot about people saying , oh , thank you for this podcast . It helped me get through X , y or Z .

It's because I'm a parent of children that are not your normal quote unquote kids , whatever the hell that means neurodivergent kids . Sometimes it's because I've been through a divorce . Sometimes it's because people hear us dealing with anxiety and depression , and sometimes it's just oh , how do you survive with bosses ? Terrible laugh so many hours a week .

you were having a little . You were a little bit , you had a little bit of a bout of it and I wanted to just bring it up because I don't like to gloss over these things , because they're real and you're still here , you are recording . I'm glad that one of the things that kicks you out of the end parts of your depression is making fun of me with boss .

That's delightful . I'm glad I can serve that purpose . But in all seriousness , it's something that millions and millions and millions of people cope with and I'd love for you to address a little bit .

It's not . Like you know , I'm , like you know , in the line at Ralph's and I'm like , hey , anybody want to hear about my depression ?

But yeah , so one of the things I have found to be absolutely right is the people I trust in my life and I absolutely , at this moment , am counting the buttercups in that I will say , hey , I'm having a hard time right now , like I need you know , I may need to give you this or I may need to get you that . I'm having a hard time right now .

So , and I try to like make sure I don't let anything linger , that as I can . That's going to be a fire later , but when I , one of the things I find brings the temperature down is not having to communicate , for example .

Yes , they were communicating , you know , just texting , and if I don't have to pretend I'm quote unquote , okay , it just takes a lot of pressure off of me . I didn't recognize that when I was younger , so I was always convincing everybody I was okay Meanwhile , like that was just making it worse .

And then you feel , and then you feel like a fraud Cause , like I am , so I am so full of shit . You already feel bad about yourself and on top of that , now it's like and I'm a fucking lie . So like I've just learned to like just be like , yeah , I'm struggling Doesn't mean I'm not going to . You know , I know you need that email from me .

I'm doing my best . But today's rough and and I guess also that too , so one you don't know by dealing with somebody like you always see those memes that like , oh , you know , robin Williams , who shares my birthday , which I just felt like was a message to the from the universe to me .

But like they , oh , they're , just because your friends look happy , you know , just because of the fun . And yes , that's true too .

But I think sometimes it's that it's not always like adjacent to an event , Like it wasn't anything that happened , like I actually think I'm processing some things that literally happened a year ago and I think that's what's happening , is like I'm going through the same time of the year , and so , as I remember , like , oh , yeah , this is when , right , you know ,

this is when Brooklyn was killed , this is when my sister got sick , like my sister almost died . Man , like you know , like I kind of like moved on my life , but like that was scary as shit . That we are fucking tight , yeah , tight .

I really thought , like when I was flying across the country , I was like I'm like , I'm like , am I going to be writing a eulogy ? So is this what we're doing ?

And then I have another friend , anyway not to go through every detail of it , but I'm realizing like if you were watching me at the time you'd be like , oh , I guess he's fine , but like I'm not dealing with some of that stuff really really till now .

So , just like making some room for people , for yourself and people in your life , that it's not all a straight line and it can be a bad day , and I guess one of my big lessons and the things I want to share is how temporary it is , despite how permanent it feels Like . It feels like life will always feel like this .

And one thing I've learned is like , as shitty as it feels , just hold on a second , because it won't , it'll feel different . If not great , it'll feel different than it does if you just hold on a second . So anyway , I'm not sure that that was where you expected .

I just want to make sure we're speaking to every sort of every person on the depression , because if you have a general sorry , a major depressive disorder , which is a diagnosed condition , you can't get out of bed , you cannot function , and so it's a whole different thing .

And for the type of depression you're talking about , coach we have it in my family , a couple of my kids have it it tends to be lower points for one to three days and then you can sort of get through that .

It depends on what's going on , depends on how much you've lured yourself or tried to fend it off , how much you're camouflaging and for what period of time . How much is everything bottlenecking emotionally ? How much trauma are you coping with that you're not talking about coping with .

I'm not going to announce it officially yet , but we have a guest coming on who is a specialist in this . Oh , nice , very excited , we landed one of the biggest trauma specialists in the world . That's amazing , and he is going to come on here and talk to us .

And very , very excited to have that and once I have it officially booked , we'll have him sort of lay , some groundwork for us just about mindfulness around trauma . But this is something that's happening in real time for people and it's incredibly helpful for you to address it because it just gives people .

If we're all lying about it and we're all just pretending we're on social media and everything's great and all I do is spend money and it's like you're like what , it's just not real . So this is what's real and I appreciate you talking about it .

I've actually done so much work and I'm in so much better of a place than I was once in , because I've had the days that coach is talking about . I've had the . I have not sought light , physical light in my space for days , that kind of space , but I've done so much work and it has been work .

That one thing I'm learning now is it's different , it looks different and it feels different and I'm learning to recognize it much sooner . So in a way , I may sound like you may be like hey , it doesn't sound like a guy who's getting ready to lock himself in .

Well , I'm not about to lock myself in , because I now recognize that that's starting so much sooner than I used to and so it means so I'm now learning how to navigate that and like , oh , this isn't the bottom of the hole where I've been , but this is also . This needs to be addressed and I will share , in addition to telling coach .

I contacted my therapist and was like hey , I know it's our usual week off , but I want to meet . Sure , no problem , and I've been getting sick recently and I'm like I think these are related and so I contacted my doctor .

We're going to do a virtual visit and I set up my annual engineer , so part of it I also don't want to make it seem like this is a magic trick and if you know you're like I'm good enough , I'm smart enough , and all that kind of in the mirror . Then you're all set .

I enlist the help of friends , the help of professionals , the help of my medication , the help of meditation , the help of exercise . Do not feel like you should be able to snap your fingers and feel better , because that's just not how any of this works .

And , two , our own egos are like I don't want them to think I'm fucked up and broken . So it becomes really difficult to let people be comfortable with that . There's also the other side that I've mentioned this way up before . It's the show Thouseling B , where she plays a woman who's recovering from a breakdown .

One of the things that she and her sister talk about in one scene which is absolutely amazing I might have mentioned this before Her sister is like they get into a fight and then it's kind of about her breakdown and everything else she says to her sister . I don't want to lie to you , shon , but I don't want to make you sad .

It's also that side of it that we hide from people who could be helping us the fact that we need help , because we don't want to put that on them . So what you're talking about is you recognize it in yourself and also you've developed this team of people and ways that you can depend . You can let them know and you can depend on them .

Then it's not one person and you don't have to worry about your mental health impacting theirs , because you have done so much work to take care of a lot of this . So I love everything you're saying .

And so right , and so I saw at least a couple of decades of him hiding it completely and also me not being evolved enough to even know that it existed . I didn't even . I was raised in a family that didn't believe in depression . I was raised in a family that didn't believe in allergies . They thought allergies were people trying to get out of work .

Same with depression . They're just like that's you know like . So my first wife suffered from depression . I remember like looking at her not being able to get out of bed , being like what are you doing ?

One of the parts of it is recognizing intrusive thoughts before they do the damage that they are intended to do . And so what coach is talking about partly is , if you don't know that exists right , then all of a sudden you everything's fine .

And then something little tickle in your mind doesn't come from me , doesn't come from boss , comes from you , coach , comes from your own mind Trying to sabotage you . And 20 years ago you would never would have noticed it and it would have run rampant like a virus . And now you go wait , what the fuck was that ? What was that ? What just happened ?

And I got like , like , like , because I have to like acknowledge , like oh , so now you're going to start with the oh , and this is why you lost the spelling bee in fifth grade because I don't have time for that shit today . And I will consciously stop and be like we're not doing this today . Yeah , and and , but again .

And I it's the work , because I did a ton of work to start naming those characters . I did a ton of work to start thinking about why do you do that ? My critic is just trying to like spur me to go get stuff done because of because the rest of us are pretty happy to not , and so I can then turn to my , my critic and be like all right , we got it .

What is it that you think needs to get done ? Hey , you got to pay the mortgage . All right , that's a good point . I do actually . That is a thing I actually do have to do . Good point we're going to take care of the mortgage , but we need you to settle down , and I will literally walk myself through those conversations .

That is when I say that's hours of therapy . Oh my God , that is hours of therapy at work .

I did a lot of research did a lot of went to different therapies , and it's always been for me to try to be a better ally and advocate for people who suffer from that condition . And lo and behold , it was advantageous because two of my kids have that too .

And so yesterday , being the big softie that I am , it was Halloween and I , two kids in college , so not trick or treating with us , and then my older son wanted to go into big city and hang with his teenage friends , so it ended up , and so so Juliana had to drive him in , so it ended up being just me and my little girl just turned 10 . And it was .

She's like , daddy , it's not as much fun . And I'm like , yeah , no , I get it , like I get it , we're still going to do it and we're going to , you know , have a really good time , but it's not . It's not the same as having a huge crew of dummies walking down the street , all dressed up and right , and it hit me really hard .

Especially I'm the type of person that I've mentioned and I'll cry it over rising commercial , if it's sacrament enough , and I have , which is so , which is so . There was that Verizon commercial about two twins that had separated at birth and and they're grown men and they put them , I don't know . They met and I literally broke down .

But you can put me on any show that's about emptiness , any show it's about like the last time I went to college . I'm in real trouble . So I was feeling this and I don't know , casually I had been texting with coach . It might have been about football , I don't remember what it was about .

So there , okay , and actually no , like no kids came by , like it was like almost like there was like a stench on the house , like no youth there , everybody's just , you know , turning the corner heading toward death there , just to go somewhere else . I was like damn , but yeah , but like a family down the street .

And it was funny because I realized I was like oh , they're like , they were like every year like I watched the kids grow up , because every year , you know and they moved like a month ago .

And yesterday early in the day I was like , oh my God , they're not going to come by tonight and I just was like man like that shit is that right , it passed me by , it's gone , it's like that whole thing they're like oh , what a headache . You know , I got the fucking good and now I'm like you get the candy ?

And then my sister , who's originally my sister's dog , and she named him Zuka , which is like a pumpkin Italian , I guess , whatever . So I or correct me if I'm wrong , if I'm I don't know , this is what I heard from no idea . But um , but , um , yeah , so Halloween's full of there's a lot . There's a lot going on .

You wouldn't think you wouldn't think all this , all this would hit at once . But but yeah , I want to reach out to coach . This is the thing if you just want to be mindful Of your friends and where they are , and be an open you know , open , open person for them so they can just hit you .

They might not need it , they might be like no , no good , but it's nice to know that you have those friends that get it and and and .

So you know , I know like I've reached out to coach so many times with you know parenting things and things I'm going through and once you have again 30 years , but we've been friends almost but , like you know , took us what 15 at least to get to a better place . I , I , I chalk it up to like just healthy caution for trusting a white boy .

I've been locked in my house Considering suicide . Thanks for letting me know I wasn't alone like that's a thing that's happened in my life . So I'm gonna say yeah , this piece out loud , which is I have found everyone's gonna be different , but I have found the goal is not to Avoid ever feeling sad or depressed .

The goal is to get better at being in that state , to like how you manage it and Traverse it , and so if you're out there and you feel it like , don't feel like you're wrong for feeling it . The goal is to just like get better at navigating it .

And you know , yeah , I won't even try to connect that to yeah , it's really that was huge , because I felt like I was like fighting it off , like , oh no , I'm depressed . Again I failed as opposed to oh Well , this time I didn't emerge with like three months of unpaid bills to sort out , like yeah , that was just like .

Okay , that was Tuesday today , yeah , thursday , and I'm getting my shit together .

I try to , you know , and my kids get you know , bummed out about their anxiety or their depression . I'm like , oh you know what ? I'm a guy that has male pattern baldness . You know what I was so fucking pumped about when I was growing up ? It was just so psyched to lose my hair . Oh my god , so amazing it's . So I I'm a short man , I was .

I have always been so thrilled not to be able to just fucking slam , dunk a basket is great . I'm like listen , I didn't pick these fucking thing . You think I would have like George to stand up ? No , like , that's not like the same way .

Like when some people you know his parent came to me and said I know , I know , you know a lot about this , but I'm really worried about , about you know , I'm putting my kid on meds and yes absolutely totally understand it .

It's a huge step to go from no meds to meds and then that , then I'll coach them in ways that they can sort of when there's where you can not like make it like . You know 12 different types of medication , all like just ease into it , see how it takes , whatever . But what you're talking about is your child has a different brain chemistry .

The all these other fucking people get to go to school With a quote-unquote normal or neurotypical brain chemistry and your child is suffering . There's no stigma around helping them adjust their their brain so that they can function like . They didn't ask for that and you didn't ask for that in creating them . This is the fucking genetic lotto .

So I just want to put that out there . That it's just . I don't know why we're so blinded . I also I never will . You know we talk about how , if you have a good-looking person and a less good-looking person , human beings are naturally biologically imprinted to trust the good-looking person more , which has done worse things .

This world , then I can never , and I'm always like , I wish we had a way you could like put on goggles and check someone's aura out or check so like they're , like , if you could see their character right , that's all you need to see . Like , what are we talking about with anything else ?

So it makes me crazy that that there's such a penalty and there's so much suffering and there's so much self loathing because people don't have the types of social groups or pyramid that like a structure in their lives that are like no , you're great , how , however you are , you're you're . Oh Well , I'm a little heavy . Well , fuck , it's genetic baby .

Like , it's not like . People just do not understand , mm-hmm , how many things are at play in their lives that they had no Control over and why are they being analyzed day in and day out , to the point where you know they talk about the big lie . You keep telling the lie long enough At people believe it . That's what happens internally .

People go , oh , wow , well , everyone , everyone makes me feel this way . It must be , must be true , I must be done . You know , we , we , we . We had an amazing meeting with , with the king of the buttercups , and , and , and he had to contend with so much of this because he'd had ADHD as a kid and school was hard and he never . How would he know ?

Nobody around him knew he didn't know . He turns his , his frustration on himself or or or at his teachers , or right , and I'm not saying Jeff did this , but I'm saying in general one .

Like Coach , what you said about figuring out , especially the part about processing through it , learning how to process through it , learning not to get caught up in the middle of it and also not feeling like a failure for needing to process through something again . It one of the things that Castles and I love you so much , and you know that

this is true . But I bristle slightly when you say that you want to keep your kids innocent as long as possible , that you want to protect them from bad things . I understand that . I get it . Nobody says like I want my kid to get it , their fucking heart ripped out and like go through hell .

But it's also Every time you go through something that is difficult or devastating , or Any time you recover from it , it's not just that you are having a bad thing happen to you . It is also that you are learning how to come out on the other side and appreciate life more , because you know Bad things happen and then they can get better .

So it's so like I I don't want to take that away from people either that it's not just that shitty things happen . It's that it feels good when shitty things happen and then you could move past them and understand that Should be . Things happening to you isn't a reflection on you .

It's something that you had to deal with and you did deal with , and now maybe the world gets to be good again , like Now the Sun is out , I'm being cheerful and I'm fucking me like . I think that there is a lot to be learned and gained from understanding that bad things are bad things and not a bad condition . I .

And right now I'm on this idea of anti fragility , which I'd heard about a while ago and people were sort of it's like become you know as those cat , those catchphrases or you know buzzwords happen , and it's the idea of like not just being Like resilient , which means like you can weather the storm , or like a bad , a bad thing can happen and you can sort of

like not be destroyed , which something that's fragile would be destroyed , but anti fragile , being not only that part of the makeup , is that the bad thing happening is Part of the development , that the bad thing happening is part of the developing , the strength .

It's not just that you can withstand it , but that you actually you know it's although this phrase can have its own problems like that , that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger , I think probably probably gets misused . But on some level is expressing the power of anti fragility .

And I do think Honestly , you know , looking at you know the show that I pretty much treat now like a religious text . You know when Ted says , essentially we got relegated , that fucking sucks and Everybody be a goldfish and we'll get back to work and , you know , get a promotion which was good on every resume . That's anti fragility .

Like they had to go through getting relegated to become the team At the end that could , you know , go up against Pepp and city a man down While Jamie got his ankle together . Like they had to go through that .

And and so some of the conversations you and I have had and even texted about where I was like love and what's the role of love at work , and you made me go back and like I'm going back into the lab , I'll show you , boss , but no , but . But I think one of the things that that made me think about was that's what that's some of .

What I'm pointing to is like it's not just can you create an effective organization , can you create an anti fragile organization , can you create something that does in our lives and doesn't whatever our pursuit is what the Lasso way slash , the Richmond way has now done to the here , to for mediocre Greyhounds yeah , but can you can create ?

How do we create that ? And and yeah , so anyway , anti fragile , I think is like a real way to look at , to think about what you you know what you're describing .

But the fact that I am a person who came through it means that I have learned that skill and I've become better at that so I think people Like I know that Jamie and the you know what it was at the very first episode said I mean , why would I want to be at anybody else Like I think that people often say like I wish that this hadn't happened or I wish

that this had gone differently , and my thought process is always those things happening got me to where I am today . So I do I not want to be where I am today because I can change that . But if I'm happy where I am today , I can understand making peace with everything that did happen , because why would I want to be anybody other than me right now ?

Have I told you about my five friends ? I got five friends , the kick ass , and now I get to do a lot of drugs because I'm a grown-up in charge of my life . So I mean , come on .

They are searching for like how do we do this human thing better ? Our people who , if they're not using any substance , are certainly Closer to that way of approaching the world and level of openness than the other .

And that's yeah , that's an interesting , that's an interesting thing to me that , no , yeah , I'm just watching people , but Some of it is a bit of a cliche . But the people who you know , the number of people who I now know , who either are like , yeah , I've microdose , silo-sibon , or I've done like it's not . And Whoo , did we fucking tear the town apart ?

I mean , you know , I mean it's like it's much more about like being able to be introspective and being able to Figure out how they want to live their lives and how they want to relate to others , or Process , like you said , like process , what happened like am I glad x , y or z happened in my life .

No , but I embrace where I am now and it is so no sense resisting it , that kind of thing . I find it is a lot more resistance from folks I know who . Would you know be closer to the you know never , never shall a drop touch my lips , kind of vibe .

You know what there's got to be a better way , and I'm not saying that I'm advocating for anarchy or , you know , total upheaval , but I am advocating for consideration and thought and and analysis and study .

And so you know we're talking about having a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset and in all things , and some of that is the exploratory nature of certain pharmaceutical or medicinal sort of With it . What you know .

It's funny because when you because you say drugs and you go back to Reagan's war on drugs , exactly , you know it's not even you're telling me . You know , silo Simon is the same thing as ice . You know .

There's a new speaker , the house , united States of America short version as person , sort of aligned with the Trump of it all , and the number one thing that I've now heard come out in terms of policy is that he's leading an argument that what we should do if we want to send money to support Israel in this latest piece of the conflict is that we should Cut

taxes to the rich . Interesting . And then I saw another headline where oh , a BB net and yahoo was saying this is not a time for blah , blah , blah . This is wartime . Whether you think we should cut taxes to the rich or you think it's wartime for Israel , that's a whole set of conversations .

What I can say is from those two entities , like that version of the Republican Party and from Anything I've known of BB net and yahoo whatsoever it's wartime and cut taxes to the rich has been their solution to everything from polio to traffic jabs to like like talk about fixed , and I think one of the things that , One of the things that I've enjoyed about Ted

lasso , one of the things I enjoy about our conversations , and even I'm seeing it now as the the , the slack is taking shape and the Buttercup community , you know , is an Openness to there may be another way Entirely , and , as Roy said , about going into total football mid-season .

Maybe it's mental , but there we are always open to the idea that you had a taste of barbecue sauce and the world faded away and you came up with a whole approach for how we were gonna play from now on .

And then we check it Right , we run it past beard and we , you know it's not just we do any crazy shit that comes to mind , but we're not fixed and I , and I think the world's gonna need a lot of that , like yesterday , we need it in a big way . It's just . Again , I don't want to get in . I have my views .

I'm sure people could guess some of them on , on , on some of these movements , but Bigger than any of that is the idea that , like , we got to be open to there's a whole other way to even think about XYZ and we're not getting enough of that right now .

It's almost like If you , the first goal of it should be like you do not want to be , you're like no , no , thank you . Yeah , I like . That should be part of like . I don't want anything to do with this . That should be the starting point .

But give me a bunch of like analysts over whatever cult of personality stuff We've somehow gravitated toward all over the place . It's not , it's not just in politics you're talking about in . Look , look at the type of person that gets ahead in corporate America . You know . Look , look at me . You know you go .

Anyway , we don't do it right , and so this is a place where we can sort of diamond dog it up and use the , the , the text , the religious text of Ted Lasso , to To analyze and to consider , and , and then future religious texts like Wayne and and other things that are coming down the pike , to shine a light on where society is at any given point and and

how we can Sort of unpack that to to quote Ted in the pilot , and see , see where that , where that leaves us collectively as a group with other thinking , sophisticated , intelligent people who care . So now , at long last , are we ready to start what you like our , our long intro .

with it . Um , what's sneaking the little Ted Lasso ? While we're at it , um , we open where we left off . Uh , rebecca had just said fuck me and realized that her club , that she , you know , sort of Took away from Rupert on on a lark or a whim or on a out of nothing but spite is now where it's . How , I can barely say it . How much is it worth ?

Uh , boss , the accountant on staff , that two billion ?

Um , we have a shot of a coach and beard and Roy , uh , uh , we it's they're watching , um , afc Richmond practice and you know , normal stuff . We're used to these , these kinds of things . Uh , we have this , this sort of beautifully framed shot of the three of them with aFC Richmond behind them and , um , we have all the fans in the stands which you know .

It's just a reminder of Exactly what we were just saying here . Nobody's ever seen a coach like this before . What we were just saying here . Nobody does this right , nobody does it for a good reason , and Ted's like no , it's , let's why , let's , let's , why , let's try the other way .

You know , it's like , uh , you know , just a reflection of of of how Ted views this process . It's their team more than ours . Let's , you know , let's , let's invite them into the process . Uh , that pays dividends . Keep going , coach .

I also think the framing gets pretty Formal as we go into this scene . If you think about when we're facing the coaches , we're right in front of them . It's very balanced . We've got the afc richman over their head . They're very well framed . It's very , all , very neat .

We get a shot from behind them that's similarly well framed , um , and I think it does T s up for the vibe we're about to go into um .

I don't think it's like a huge deal , but I think that like Choosing these very standard shots , like it's what you would expect in Uh , in a musical right , these kinds of basic shots you're not expecting like some drone shot down to maria right , like you expect . You know you're expecting sort of standard things .

So I just thought that was a cool way to set the vibe .

You are down a little bit lower the right . The camera angle is looking up at them , but that's meant to give them like a little bit of a you know , sort of a god mode kind of thing a little . There You're sort of heralding them a little bit more .

Then , as we have royant and uh Instead interact , you're up at shoulder level , eye level , where humans interact , and then Instead of instead of uh , ted , calling the end of practice , right ? He says all right , roy , I think that's enough for today . You go ahead and call it and roy gives him a look , right , boss ?

There's something else happening , and that is that after he shouts whistle , whistle , which is still one of the better bits of this season , well , he says Roy , please , I want to put , I don't want to miss that , because like Roy gives him that look and then he's like Roy , please like , don't make me .

This harkens back to the first season when they did high boss all like hanging out on the field and then the bye , bye , bye dance , and then , of course , you come in third season . It's got to be a little bit bigger , so it's choreographed . They're singing , there's a boom box over his head .

I'll , uh , uh , lloyd Dobbler from say anything Like they're really , they're doing as much as they can here .

So there was obviously and it becomes increasingly obvious as the sun falls that there was a ton of effort and preparation that went into this , beyond what we would even have imagined when it started .

I'm not going to sing anymore because I'm done with that . But the bass , no , don't do that .

The plot of the song , if you will , is that a guy and his friends are at a party and they decide to hire women some performers to come to the party and strip for them , and two of the guys , when the women get there , become upset because they know one of the women from high school or middle school or something , and so then they take her outside and

berate her for doing sex work . And then she's like well , I have this hard life and I have this child I need to take care of , and blah , blah , blah . And they're like oh yeah , well , my mom didn't strip , so you shouldn't . It's a bad song , it's not good .

Amber Ruffin does a phenomenal job of taking down all of the nonsense in the song , and that when somebody that you hired tells you that they are having a hard time getting by . You do not berate them , you tip them .

Well , I would like to also point out to these gentlemen that you cannot be upset that a woman who showed up to do a job that you hired her for is somebody that you know , because what that tells me is that you are not interested in her coming over and dancing for you .

You are interested in doing something denigrating and you don't want to do that to a woman who you consider to have a relationship with . What that tells me is that you are a scumbag and you are not going to treat any of those sex workers with the respect that they deserve in the first place .

Also fucking hypocritical is bullshit that you think you are too good to have a stripper know how you treat strippers Like . There is a lot of bullshit in all of this and I dislike the entire song . It's not a good one . I don't even need to talk about the rest of that bullshit .

So I want to throw out is that in the middle , for absolutely no fucking reason , they all of a sudden sampled next episode by Dr , dr and Snoop Dogg out of fucking nowhere , just in the middle . It's like they forgot to write a verse where they have that song . Yeah , like they called again , it's called what Would you Do by City High . It's not the John .

Kinyone song , the TV show . It is a song , yeah , and just for like a few bars they like flat out , just like sing next episode . Wow .

thing ? The reason that I kept thinking about this is that when that song what would you do by city high all of a sudden very abruptly drops into next episode , my thought is the fuck does Dre have to do with this ? Like , did you forget to write one verse and so you're just like pulling in something that sounds good to that end ?

I understand that Ted is leaving . I understand that they want to say so long for your well . What does this song lend to a what ? What is the deeper level of understanding that this song is giving us about Ted's leaving , about the team wanting to say goodbye to Ted ? Like , did they just decide to pull a song and they did this one ?

Or is this supposed to be telling us something more ? Because , I'm just like .

It felt so surface level that it felt like the fuck does the sound of music have to do with this ? Why are ? You here right now .

A family gone trap with the children going to bed is what happened in the sound of music . This is where the players are approximating those various roles of the children . You're saying listen , there's an art form .

As a person who has worked God , one of the best things about working on a film or a television show is dropping the music in and being in the editing room and trying different things . And then sometimes you'll get the real , a really good one . You're like , fuck , we can't get there , we can't afford the right stuff , like how much would this be ?

And then sometimes you'll get a thing like a band that you never , ever could afford . Their manager has decided to put their music on sale for whatever . And you're like , wait , what Like we could get ?

So then you try to like read , jigger some of the editing to work inside , like , can we just steal one of these songs that we'd never normally be able to afford . So it's a super fun process and it changes the . It like really changes .

It's almost the biggest manipulative tool that you have , other than like the writing , the acting , whatever , like putting something over top that you know is going to influence how people feel , how they emote , right , how it affects their emotional connection to the material in a direct way .

But it lands , you know , you pick a great song and it lands to the point where modern artists , musical , you know musicians and singer , songwriters the best thing they can do is get on a TikTok video or a commercial , much more than you know , than touring in the same way you used to and build up a fan base through local you know sort of shows and things

like that . It's like if you get on , if you get onto Apple iPhone ad , it's it yeah this was Grayson and Adamy 20 years ago or so .

You look at their musical like the shows they've done , and then you get to meet them in a , in whatever project , project you're working on , and then you know I've said to at least two of them maybe maybe I said to one but I was like oh , I thought you were awesome all these years and now that I've met you you're awesome , Like I can confirm that you're

like the best dude ever . And you know , they're usually like a , someone who's like just loves music , loves fine . It's almost like they know every new thing that comes out . They're really plugged in . It's really hard to be to like find the new sound or find the new thing , but they're really good at it .

And then you have other ones who the worst version of the music supervisor is the . It's like the know it all music supervisor . It's like I'm the smartest person in the room . Just ask me , kind of vibe , you know , and so .

So , as we bring it back to this scene , one of the things I'm sorry what the reason I got into this is saying sometimes you're like , let's say you're going to have a shootout , right , If you drop killing in the name of in there , it's like it's like it's it's because you're like , oh , that's exactly what we're doing . We don't want that .

What we want to drop is Mona Lisa over the top is , and that gives it some some . This is something that Tarantino was phenomenal at . He had a real understanding of how , how music impacts film , and he would put in all sorts of alternative sound songs and Coen brothers are phenomenal at it .

So it's like almost playing against type to achieve a better , better result . And so , boss , what I'm hearing you comment on here is so long farewell . To say so long farewell feels like you probably probably could have done better . Is that ? Is that what you're saying ?

Like what was it about that beat from next episode that made the song better ? That city , I wanted to use it . Like what did it add to that scene ? Because this feels like they're very blatantly saying you're going away , so goodbye it .

And obviously right , we've seen these sort of like musical sequences and that we know that they're trying to , but not that they're trying , but that that's a part of the language of this right that you know , bringing in the musicals , the references to the musicals . All of that I would even , but I would say , though , with bye , bye , bye .

That's why , when you made your point , I was like huh about this one . That I was like huh is we didn't know it at the time , but the significance of choosing a song from the no Strings Attach album , given strings later , I like , I laughed . You know what I mean . Like I did some rewatching , I was like , look , will you look at that ?

Right , I think we don't get that here Anyone . Though we didn't know it , then I think that did feel like it had more of a , it did play more of a role , maybe because ultimately they didn't get to do that performance . So this is sort of like is like this is what we expected to happen and it happened .

So maybe that's part of what you're reacting to , and I think a lot of things on this show have managed to be like we're gonna do just a little . We're gonna just do just a little . Turn on what you're expecting . And this is not that this is very fastball down the middle . To use a baseball , yeah , metaphor .

Yeah , I just I'm not picking up any other level . It feels like they sort of needed to have a way of Ted saying goodbye to the whole team , and this is what they came up with , rather than this being a scene where they crafted what that actually would be like for him to leave the team in that way and how the team would want to respond to him Like .

This felt a little bit rote .

I thought it was , I think it's called and I'm telling you , but it's from dream girls and it's like this sort of like classic , this .

You know , just sort of this classic number , Jennifer , how they did first , at any rate , the first note , and I actually , because I was so fooled , I went and looked it up and actually they're very similar sounds and it's a half step apart . So my ears better than I thought it was . But I thought it was that . And you got a Yale knock it off .

So but I I guess I bring that up because that would have been , that would have been more interesting and that would have also been a musical and that is like I could see comically being like we're not letting you go , ted , but knowing ultimately they are letting them go . So I do , I hear what you're saying .

I have a personal connection to the sound of music . I think I've shared before that in middle school I played Kurt Von Trapp , the father of the old Von Trapp scale , so I kind of laughed a bit , just sort of like remembering learning choreography for it and all of that .

But yeah , you're right , this is a bit of whether on the nose is the exact right phrase . It's like expected , it's very , it's it's it's expected .

You know what I'm saying . Like you could do , like if they I'm saying if they had done a big production of all kinds of things , it may have had a , may have a boss is shaking your head , but I'm saying , if this one , we're not , or we heard this criticism when this first came out . It was like , oh , this is super vanilla , just a weird vanilla choice .

You know what if ? What if it had been the next episode or whatever ? You know like what if it had been anything other than sort of the the white white bread family Vontrap , kind of right down the middle of kind of pitch ?

There is something that I would find extremely amusing about saying goodbye to somebody by telling them like , shout , singing that song about how I am staying here and you are going to love me and you are going to come back , like I do think that that would be funny , but I think that that also might also lend itself to some additional humors watching these men

try to shout saying that song Like this right , it did feel a little vanilla , it felt a little on the nose , a little vanilla . I felt like sometimes they reach for allusions that end up just being name drops and that felt like that felt like this .

And then it's like , okay , Danny's going to be that it wasn't as fresh or whatever You're just like okay , all right , like , okay , like , but it didn't , it wasn't moving there . They could , they could have picked something that would have made you cry and this wasn't , or that would have given you that kind of emotional kind of kick .

I was kind of like in that part , but I'm I wonder if part of it is meant to set up . The part of this I found to be delightful , Most delightful I should say , which is the the final reaction which we're going to get to in a second .

But like was part of it , like you think you're ahead of us , you think of ahead of us and actually it's even bigger than you thought . Do you think that was intentional or do you think now , that's just a separate ? That's a separate . This is a different thing .

Like just the switch flipped so fast that I don't know if anybody's ever going to be able to top that . It did help a little bit , like it softened softened , Jesus Christ , this is who I am . It hardened . It hardened some of the soft edges which made me like it a little bit more . So , yes , like I , I understand what they were going for in this scene .

It just didn't land for me .

He's affected a lot of lives here .

And I was , I was with him in this in this moment . Yeah , I mean oh , wow , like I'm going to miss this shit out of you guys .

Ultimately , that you sort of like you don't want people to feel like , well , why don't they just , you know , call his sister and ask her to pick her up ? You know what I mean . And interestingly , we haven't done that to Beard here .

Like , other than Ted needs to go be with his kid , which you know we can debate whether that has to happen this specific way , like there's no specific reason that you know Beard and his acts has to go anywhere . So it really is . It's left open in a way .

I think as I was going through the experience I didn't really consider , like I was like , oh , they're leaving . I never even considered that , like they are actually not Simon's twins and they don't vote , that's the week .

There's a funny beat with Beard where he's like what the fuck is that ? Well , like about you know something probably being ominous , like oh , that was ominous , and Beard does this thing . He was like what the fuck is that ? Like , what the fuck is this ? Like the music starts playing and I'm like I just loved that little moment there .

Yeah , then we have the whole , we have , we have the whole thing . And then Ted says , uh , what , what coach ?

Our grand project that started with me , you know , standing in the locker room and you all looking at me like who is this wanker , that that that project is , is officially completed in this moment . And the and the response is .

Yeah , that's no joke and then , when it's done , they wait for his approval , or like they wait for him to say something . He says thank you , that was perfect For them . I don't think there could have been a better response , but it felt like a release of , like the amount of relief . Right , is that what you're reading ?

It was , because then it turns into just a dotting . It's crazy how they explode , even like Trent , who is usually moderately reserved , is taking his jacket off and spinning it over his head .

I'm still on it , folks . But , yeah , like Trent , who began this thing with the series defining question of yeah , is this a fucking joke ? Yeah , yeah Is spinning . He's writing a book about these people . You're not supposed to be part of the story . He's breaking rules .

Right now he is spinning his fuck like a lunatic , spinning his blazer over his head because they nailed the so long farewell number to say goodbye to Ted . How far is that from nice glasses ? Oh good , I'm going to take my glasses off to remove that layer of bullshit so I can ask you my question , which , by the way , is is this a fucking joke ?

It's just unbelievable , and I love that also that they took it as far as they did because they had to right , because if they just react like yay , who gives this shit ? But people are screaming in each other's faces , I can't imagine if they won the whole fucking thing , as promised , I don't know that the celebration could be any more sincere or intense .

analysis we really are just 13 minutes into the show itself , where all of us were reacting in real time to every minute . Every second of the show that passes is the last second of the show will ever see live .

You know , for the , that's the new Ted Lasso , or you know there's never gonna be another new episode of Ted Lasso right in our lifetimes , and so that is a . That's a gut punch . Now , boss , walk us through this next scene we have . We have Trent coming through jacket back on . Trent is coming through the double doors in the Richmond she's hallway .

So it's good that they have seemingly moved past everything also , mm-hmm yeah , that might be right , mm-hmm mm-hmm . She walks into the coach's office gift bags for both coat , beard and Ted , I should say and says but you can't open them yet , better just wait until you get on the planes . They say thanks . She walks out cameras still following her .

She's pretending to close her eyes and says is everybody decent ? And then , when they are , she's disappointed , like come on , can't catch break which is it , which is a throwback to the very first opening .

so much , just a lot of emotional weight , even though it's like a sweet little thing .

continuation , the moving from Trent to other people , to other people , to how they interact and how they impact you , and then following Keely when she tells all the guys on the team that you're wonderful , you're gorgeous , you're confident , you're excited for this thing that she needs you to do tomorrow , and then we pan over to Jamie and so it .

I felt like this , as compared with the so long farewell , actually did a much better job of visually illustrating the ways in which people were connected through the team and the impact that they'd had on each other , as compared to doing the musical performance .

And then you've got this moment and then you've got , you know , roy witnessing this moment in the hallway . One of the things I did want to highlight , because we follow Keely is . When Keely first came in , she was neutral . She had on like a tan jacket , a white t-shirt and jeans yep , super neutral .

And and she is anything but now , right , she's got on a pink blazer . She's like we talked about our outfit already .

We've got the butterfly clips , the whole thing that we saw in the parking garage , the dresses , so many different colors , and I love about this show that we are , I think we are fully supposed to be experiencing oh , look at our Keely all grown up . But all grown up doesn't mean stop having unicorn notebooks .

All grown up is become a fully realized version of who you are , and to me , that's so much of what this show has been about freeing people up to be who they really are , who they fundamentally are in that freedom .

And I love that now , now , as a powerful exec , she's wearing pink and butterfly clips and yeah , that's what that looks like , because you know what Keely is the one in the job and that's what it looks like on her . And it doesn't mean that if bummercatch gets a job there after he retires , that he's gonna start wearing pink jackets .

It means he's gonna do whatever fuck he does and he's gonna be fully realized . So I really yeah . I loved it and the and the obvious respect that they have as a team for her . I mean they kind of augle her by design the first time and it's like oh , you first . Oh , why , so I can watch your ass .

Oh , watching and weep , oh , that's not what she's getting now , like she's a member of the family , coming through to like deliver some news and well , that's her move up .

And , yeah , you're right about about every step of this , coach , it's she's got vibrant clothing because she's fully realized and it's like , it's like prime Keely , you know , and this is what we all want to get to is . We say this for people listening to the show . We say it for the characters on the show .

We want them to be the best version of themselves and it happened in conjunction with everybody doing it at the same time . It's not a zero-sum game . Danny , getting to be full , danny doesn't mean Jamie doesn't get to be full , jamie . That's better when everybody does it together . That's right .

So , yeah , even though boss tries to keep you and I down , coach , always , that's just , that's not necessary . You know , she could just be kind and generous and and no , she's shaking her head , no , I mean , how am I supposed to be the best version of myself ?

Film is commercial , but he told them that he'd have to have his publicist with him to make sure he doesn't fuck it up . And she says it's not for her . He's actually very he accepts that and then he's like I'm fucking with you . And then you know , so they have there . They have a great moment there . And , by the way , how far are they from you know ?

Standing in the kitchen with no-name fan of both of them and him saying are you gonna be at the ? Are you gonna be at my photo shoot later ? Oh , you mean the photo shoot I set up for you . Yeah , I'm gonna be like you've gone from that right across my fingers that you will travel with me to fucking Brazil like

talk about .

We go to Keely , we pick up , you know Jamie , jamie goes out one door through with , where we come back in through the other door . I mean this is we are doing total storytelling . We're doing it now . We still haven't had a cut right to get the reverse down the hallway .

The camera , steady cam , around right conversation with Keely and Jamie , and then , and now we're watching the two of them , and Roy says you want to grow a beer later ? I thought you said I couldn't have beer from Jamie .

Well , you're with me , so you get a pass , and they actually do the fist bump that once was the unrequited fist bump Jamie went for when Roy was still determined not to be his coach . So that all gets consummated . And I thought this was really interesting having Nate , who knew a version of all this , witnesses and say so you two are friends now .

Yeah , I guess . So the , the , the . The transcript says that's wonderful , but that's not what he says . He says so wonderful and that is a reference back to the fact that he said that was what it would be like to be loved by Keely when they're in a diamond dogs meeting and he says that's wonderful .

So it's like we bring all of that bat together and it's not because of Keely's love , right , Like he's realizing , like no , oh no , there's a bigger , broader thing . That's wonderful , and it's that level of connection even for you two .

Then we get the Roy witnessing that scene come inside for yet another scene where we set up the date to go have the beers and then have Nate come through again and I thought it all worked . But I didn't .

I noticed it because we're noticing , like that's what we're doing , we're doing our deep dive , but I didn't find myself going like oh , here's the DP getting their chance to do their thing and like I thought it worked .

And actually now I say that out loud , it reminds me remember when Will came through and they like through the water bottle , like when I'm trying to remember how we got there . But that was another moment where we were supposed to get . I think that was right after they were learning total football and we're starting to see that they work well together .

I don't think they necessarily had this in mind , but the choreography from the sound of music has a lot of that to it , like when they kick each person off the line as they're all going to good night there's and that choreography is like clockwork , like that's how they move , so maybe there was some attention there what's ?

It's so funny that Nate is this guy now and Jamie is just staying there sort of sitting with the realization like , oh no , like we are friends , I guess , Even though we did have some of that with the sister , like best friends moment with , you know , the birthday party , with Roy's birthday party . So we did have a little sort of glimpse into that there .

And then it pans over to Rebecca having lunch with her mother , specifically her mother saying I mean , when your father died , I was terrified of being alone , but now I've learned so much about myself in the last year and I've been all right all along . You know , I really am exceptional .

A lot of the people I know met their spouse either at college or in the few years after college through mutual friends . So there isn't a lot of women living on their own and doing their own thing . Like they go from high school to college , where they're living with people , to roommates , to you move in with your partner and then you get married .

Like I didn't live by myself until I was 37-ish around there .

.

And so I just I think that there is like , at the pressure on people to get married and have kids and start a family and do it as young as you possibly can in some cases , but not too young , but also make sure you're not too old Like it is a mind fuck .

And then you end up at some point in your 50s , sometimes divorced , with kids out of the house or whatever else , and you're like , oh , actually being by myself is fine , especially for women . I feel like this is a thing Like the fear of being alone is terrible . It is often more terrible than being alone .

However , I do think this piece , I find this piece that you just described , fascinating of more , and I get the sense that more of the energy around it is from women , that this sense of like I don't want you always in my space , even to a person like I don't mean I'm gonna divorce you , I actually like being married .

I need you to go rent an apartment and go live there , like it's a fucking thing I'm reading about and going oh my God , this is real .

So I'm fascinated by it and I'm sure there are like a ton of layers to it and I'm sure there are a million versions of it , and for one group it's you know you snore , and the other group , it's you're actually a slob , and the other group it's just , I'm the kind of person who needs my long time and whatever .

But I am finding that fascinating and I'll share that . You know , as you talk about life and where the blah blah we have talked about just last night made 20 years since we moved into this house . But , as it turns out , recently we've talked about well , are we gonna stick around here ? Or , if we , are we thinking about , are we gonna ?

You know that , those conversations , because apparently I'm 158 years old and it was fascinating to me . One of the things that we've done I've shared is we built this office in our backyard .

This is my space , and it is the greatest gift I've ever given myself , slash been given that I also feel I've given to everyone around me , because I can come out here and be my weird ass self . I can blast music , like it's the way it's built , because I've even gone outside to listen to be sure .

I can blast music in here at 2.37 in the fucking morning . I disturb exactly nobody , right ? Like all these things , and I think there's more to this .

Now , it's super privileged , right , because , like let's be honest that there are some people right now who are actually remaining in relationships because there's no way we could afford two roofs between us , so we have to stay together .

So I'm not I don't wanna belittle that but I think there's something valuable about re-examining the living situations and what our expectations are around . Like I'm in love with you . Therefore , we should spend every minute that is not otherwise claimed staring at each other , and I'm just not sure that's like the healthiest thing I've ever heard , or like even fun .

Like I wanna come out here and blast my music or do whatever I'm doing and Daphne wants to get some sleep , and I don't see why we both can't do the thing we wanna do .

And like I think , as we were talking about earlier , about like saying I'm dealing with this thing right now , just being open about what would be better for your living situation .

If your living situation is better that you and your spouse sleep in different bedrooms because one of you snores all night , people shouldn't be like , oh , they're not sleeping in the same bed .

Meryl Streep and her husband have , and there seems to be a reaction about like , oh well , they were lying to us , they weren't honest about their relationship .

Like I barely want to know all the details of what I'm doing . If other people want to handle their shit , that's fine . Like we need to be less judgment , I am saying we need to be less judgmental about other people's living situations . That's where we've gotten in this country . Amen .

And they like , okay , great , If Benefur wants to do their Benefur thing , great , fantastic , I don't give a shit , I will the one . And we Did you say Benefur ? Oh yeah , Don't they always give them their like joint names ? Isn't that part of the like started- . Oh , you're saying yes yeah , as part .

I feel like they have done their best to make me part of their marriage , whether I fucking like it or not . And I don't feel that way about Meryl Streep . So I'm like Meryl Streep gets some .

She can do whatever she wants If her and her husband , you know , slap each other across the face before they head off to work in the morning and that's the way they like it . Good for fucking them . Will and Jada , I'm like , listen , god damn it . Too many think pieces , too much fucking drama around the two of you .

Like either tell us what the fuck's going on or don't . But I know way too much about your relationship to have not known . Y'all ain't really all that married anymore . Like why ? Like I don't want to know , but if you're going to tell me , can we ?

I saw I think I may have mentioned it , I saw a meme at one point that was like oh , don't talk about your relationship or social media now that job broke up , we're invested , and it was just sort of like a general thing . But I think that does happen and I think people need to be mindful if I invite you into that part .

Like , if Travis Kelsey cheats on Taylor Swift , he's going to need a new security detail .

So that would be like my little asterisk on that , but I'm generally I am with you that , like , leave me to fuck out of it . I don't care , I really don't care . Like , just do your thing . I have a feeling coach is not loving all of what I just shared , although I was getting some good nods from the boss .

I think it may be a resultant of my dad's personality , or I'm like I don't give a shit , like I just grumble and don't give a shit , like , no matter how much a celebrity or a whatever tries to include me in any of their drama , I have so many other things to care about that like are in the front of the bleachers in my mind that I'm like I don't like

. Good luck to you , sir , or matter I don't , I just don't care so , but I know that I think part of it is also having a presence on social media . You tend to get inundated with certain things and , if you can , I'm more interested in hanging out with my friends and my kids and my family and the people I care .

I take it personally at the intrusiveness of other stuff into , like my . If you have so little time in this world , you know what I mean . Like maybe I'm more wary of letting that time go away .

So in some ways , social media can serve me in a healthy way , which I know that's not generally what the think pieces are about when it comes to social media . But so I think you're right about what you just said , and I learn details of certain stories because I wanna be able to be to make the next joke or be in on the next joke .

So when the you know , so you have the sad face of Will Smith at the red table being told about the entanglement and that now has become its own thing that you put as a reaction , sort of like the Jordan crying meme . So you gotta know the joke to get the next joke .

So it's interesting that in some ways although I would say I don't care in that I don't care Like seriously if Travis and Tay Tay break up God bless them both but I do care in that I wanna be in on the joke . So when somebody decides to be them . For that . They're a bad example , because I feel like you couldn't avoid that story .

But when somebody decides to be them for Halloween , I wanna get it and I wanna be able to make a joke about it , if there's a joke there to be made .

Like she does not address , I really am exceptional , like you can see her decide , like you know too many steps . I'm not no reason to you say you're exceptional , no problem . Anyway , the thing I'm talking about is Ted's leaving , yes , yeah . I think it's great . I just think it's great .

I'm not going to cast dispersions against Kathy , but as you get older it becomes easier and easier to let shit slide with your parents the same way that you would with friends , like when you were close enough with your friend that you'd be like oh , we both know that was some fucking nonsense you just said , but we don't need to call it and so she could just

exist near her mother and not fight .

We have that with Rebecca and Ted , and I would toss in that we just watched Ted get to where she is now with her mom , like we just watched Ted when he eats that sunflower bread . You know whatever that's like him going . You know what .

She's not perfect , but we drank our wine and we ate our dinner and I love her and she still was the one who drew the googly eyes and I feel like it's interesting to come back here and experience this this way , because she's still fully herself and there's a moment coming up that also made me cackle .

But , like I love that , her mom is like she can't come . I mean , we're about to do it but she can't come to the game because she's got to go see the tattoo removal expert for the tattoo . She's considering getting what the fuck .

Deborah , of course , says go for it , take the money and run , explore the world . More importantly , explore yourself . I had a dream last night that I was a cabaret singer in Japan , and so Deborah gets the chills over this and she says what is this , coach , that ? She says Now you can be chills . I had the exact same dream .

She's got that going on , but she is grounded in some reality and actually does have an interesting brand of wisdom to share . Like she's still the person who knew everything and she's still the person who knew within minutes that Rebecca had broken up with Sam . She's still all that and she just realized that she's been right all along and she's exceptional .

I just I think it's just such a layered character and you didn't have to do this for a secondary character , but as part of what I love about the show .

part of the draw ?

I was a full-on grown-ass adult when I got my first tattoo and I've more recently gotten like a real like body art piece which I need to go get straightened out . Now I got my money back straight up straightened out but but I'm gonna finish this up .

But it's my , it's my warrior shield , it's like my , it's my armor , right and I and and you know , I've walked through it and I actually at some point I may literally do like a video of the whole tattoo then and annotate it , because I think that would be just kind of fun to share with friends and stuff .

But I bring all that up to say for the people I know who've done it . It is about choosing these things that are permanent , right and like part of what's funny about what boss said , and I've warned people like names of significant others . It's just a risky fucking way to go . It just feels like the kiss of death . But do your thing .

But I think there's something amazing . You don't have a thing . Yeah , right , right , right right , we've had that .

But I just think it's great that like they play with the idea that she almost gets things , or like she's exploring but also she's the , you know , she's like the grandmother we never had , which we'll be talking about in a second but she's exploring things to the point that what somebody needs to introduce her to like the water , the water tattoos that you could

just sort of like draw thing and put it on your arm . Maybe we'll go get a little henna , maybe don't do the tattoo quite yet , as you're just sort of like figuring out whether you like that or skateboarding better , but we'll see so , wow , I can't believe that even I am this invested in Deborah's possible tattoos .

It would be less admirable if she was doing this on a normal person's income , but just the idea that like .

I've talked many , many times about how , especially in my neck of the woods , you get an emptiness syndrome where a woman of usually around you know late 40s , early 50s , they realize their kids are grown up and they take a long hard look at the dude that they're co-habitating with and go , hmm , do I want to hang out with this alcoholic my whole life ? Huh .

And so they start exploring for the first time and I think part of what Deborah's , the commentary around Deborah is like sometimes that can run amok . This is like the , the sort of you know what people call fufu or woo or whatever there's .

There's these terms for self-exploration and mindfulness , that that you know there's always a new fad or always a new sort of thing you can explore every time . I think I kind of have my mind wrapped around it in my own journey . I find I know less and less , but some of it is pseudoscience and some of it is .

It can be , you know , you're like huh , so anyway , it's just Deborah tends to go a little bit off the deep end , and so this commentary on a tattoo , but also it's a I boss , as usual , comes up with a very astute observation around about privilege .

But it's also , I think , not , not , but , and in addition to that commentary , it's also the staff talking about how some people can go go a little bit , a little bit nuts with it . I did see tish the other day . She says boss , run with this please .

Thank you very much , but please do tell her that she's a fraud that preys on people's weaknesses . And Deborah says that's exactly what she said you were saying awesome , god , I love .

It felt like they were like here's one for the road for you , orlando , like she's just gonna just drop gem after gem .

I just it's interesting for me within the show the way that the show says tish , absolutely 100% , is a truth sear and can tell the future , and we never go back to her , we never follow up with that . It's so important that we have it in the show and then we never see her again , even though she legitimately can tell the future well , the beauty .

Sometimes I think things are true and and it's like the shit's true whether you think it or not like I have had some experiences in my life and actually more recently , where I felt very connected to my mom and interestingly I have the short version is I have a friend who called me , who's on their own journey , and who called me to say this is gonna sound

fucking crazy , okay , no problem , go ahead .

But I feel like I've been in contact with your mom and she wanted me to be in contact with you because she was trying to get in contact with you and we had a whole conversation off of that and I said to my friend at the end of it all look , I can't explain your experience and I can't really explain how I'm processing it , but just because we can't

explain it , don't mean it ain't so . And the truth of the matter is tish is a friggin oracle like say what you want about tish storm out on whatever tish is the motherfucking oracle in this story . It's kind of wild and we continue to just brought this up the boss brought .

Everything else is secondary , because we now have a person who can tell so , yes , and again the staff is taking a position on this , but yes , you make a good point , coach and boss also saying we don't come

back to it . I was wondering how they would try to bookend the tish thing . I was surprised by Rebecca's adherence to her own skepticism , even though I understand . I understand the skepticism in that she's had some experiences that have verified what tish said . I thought , boy , isn't that interesting that she digs in .

But again it goes back to that Mark Twain thing about it's easier to convince someone , you know , that they've been fooled . No , no , it's easier to convince them that they , what's the code ? It's even . It's easier to convince someone that they are .

Then I couldn't think of it , so I'm gonna , I'm Google search and here we go , it might have it it's easier to fool people than it is to convince them that they have been fooled yeah , that's it .

They had a cool story here , maze fantastic , she can navigate Rupert and be lovely to Ted . So like I kind of viewed it as like okay , yeah , what they are now .

It was amazing causes drug use yeah , it was like . This is hilarious . So , yeah , I think you're right . Every generation has some version of there's a famous .

We've really you think we would be further along at this point yeah , I'll , yeah .

I had to help my mom with her internet the other day , right , but Rebecca takes it in , she's a mused she , just my amusement . And she kind of .

I feel I maybe I'm projecting a bit here , probably am , but I found her to be kind of going oh so that's how we're seen , but you don't always get a clean glimpse into how you're seen by others and it was such a like clean look . I'm sure she never thought of her life as she was railing at her mom about catching her father and all this kind of stuff .

She never thought of her life as cushy or easy , but she got to see through someone else's eyes that , yeah , kind of is it , kind of is so . Anyway , I thought I really like that moment a lot yeah , no , I thought it was good .

You gotta stop this and pretending like what , like we were what . Changing the world with you know all I want to do is zoom zoom , zoom , zoom into boom-boom . Let's everybody take it easy , oh that's that .

We're meeting tonight to exercise the ghost . You got to be there , but I feel like that's kept coming . And here she is being told by these guys , these , you know this Greek chorus that we've been with the whole time , the guys who let us know like yeah , no , we're gonna keep calling them wanker . Like , wow , like you , you , you touched us .

We never , we never , knew it could be like this . We've been dealing with the Rupert's of the world . I didn't know . I didn't know that somebody could like literally give up shit about me . I figured the best I could hope for is you swing through and buy , buy drinks for the night . But it's actually not how many , how many ?

This may be the most beautiful moment of the show yeah , arguably talking about three guys thanking Rebecca the billionaire right and covering her meal . We know these guys pay for drinks with change like literally with change on their pockets . Yeah , and it was important enough to them to say thank you in a way that you know is very difficult . For them .

It's a beautiful moment and almost almost not not enough air before the joke comes in . You know , like the mother we never had . That's funny because I'm like the mother she's never had .

Moms are supposed to be inherently able to do all mom things and not be actual human , but in those moments , but just mom bots who produce that quote , unquote maternal energy , and instead of that we get like a very real person who's like if you want to talk about selling this team , I'm your Huckleberry .

If you want some of this more nuanced mother and shit , and I just again I do it .

And my mom said in my apartment out loud to my friend Kelly oh that's so nice , you're like the daughter I never had . Amazing , I and my sisters are standing here , you have three of us in the room Three of us here right now .

There's the Deborah experience .

Now , of course , that's on on point , on message for Deborah . We probably haven't discussed in enough detail and it's something we can pick up .

I'm going to think about it in the as we , as we , as we close up today , the concept of entire urban populace is because it's usually urban , but it's , it can be regional , using a major sporting franchise as a stand in emotional support mechanism .

So , you know , in this way , richmond is a something that the PB and J in this modern world feel is connected to them in a very , very sort of intimate way and because of that , the de facto billionaire who owns the team through the capitalist system is is their mother of sorts .

I think we should , we could , you know , I mean like think about how that plays out in cities like Cleveland . You know , I was thinking about the . The last night we saw that that there was a coach fired for the Las Vegas .

And , and we can , we can lament that in one way , but it's way worse with football around the world , like , like , the way it plays out in even local teams around around the globe with , with soccer is even more perfect , to the point where it's like you're complete identity . It's not like , oh , it's a piece of it is the defining existence .

Hooligans will fight physically , fight over over nothing more than you know , james , we told us that .

It's a , it's a whole thing and maybe we'll leave it there with and and we can , we can sort of think about it . As it relates to national teams , olympics . You know , one of my favorite parts of the Olympics is is falling in love with teams from other countries , which I feel like excited to do , like , oh , I just love this team .

Like you know , it makes me love the country more and then I want to go visit and I think that's the beauty of it is is if you're not sort of tied to , you know , jingoistic or national , you know hypernationalistic view of your team in an international competition .

Rather , you're looking for , like that , that character and the beauty of sport or the beauty of the competition inside of the event .

There's a story I'll see if I can find on YouTube , but basically as a marathoner in the whatever 1976 , maybe Olympics , and I would have to look all this up , but they basically he's running and he just , you know , he gets smoked by like the best people in the world , which he still would probably whoop the ass of 99.9% of people ever gonna listen to the

story . And so he , it's dark and he's finishing and people are like you know why ? Like , basically like why did you keep running ? Like the medalists are home at this point ? And he said about his country I wish I could remember what country it was . They didn't send me here to start , they sent me here to finish .

And the first time I ran , both times I ran a marathon . I got injured with a whole other story .

But I have thought about that story as I finished injured both times , like I didn't , I didn't decide to do a marathon , so I could say I started a marathon , I said it because I was going to finish a fucking marathon and that's what I'm going to do , and I think that's so woven into the piece of sports .

That isn't all the stuff we hate , and that isn't Jerry Jones and isn't that stuff . So that's one , that's one piece . But the other thing that comes up here for me , around like that she could be this maternal figure , is our relationship to capitalism in this country is such that we view that as like oh no , turn back . That's scary and awful and terrible .

And it doesn't have to be . And I keep having this debate with people where I'm like we could . It's not just that the people who run companies could make different choices . Like there's a story of the guy who decided , like I will only take a salary of blah , blah , blah so that we can all share in the rich . Isn't great .

It's also that , like we as consumers , we as the people , could be like , wait a minute , you're making record profits and there are people working for you who have to be also on welfare or who have to work three jobs to make it all come together so that kids can have a roof and food . Fuck you and your company .

We're not buying your shit until you pay a living fucking wage . Like that's a thing we could decide to do . And I think part of what's cool here is Rebecca isn't saying hey , look at this great team I've brought you . Build us a stadium , peons , as we get in , you know , the national football league here in America .

She's like she is giving , like she is finding ways to give and we see it as a good . As the episode goes on . But anyway , I feel like saying saying capitalism is bad Sometimes I think gets us like to where , like when people say religion is bad , I'm not like no , religion ain't in itself bad , it just gets misused , like , fuck , like .

If we could like not misuse it . Religion a bad , but there's nothing wrong with , there's nothing wrong with being , you know , muslim or Jewish , but there's a fuckload wrong with Hamas and BB Netanyahu's crew . Like there's a fuckload wrong with that .

Sometimes I , whatever , it doesn't matter , I want everybody to be happy and spiritual and believe what they want to believe . That's fine , as long as it doesn't cause harm on other people or other people don't have to live by the , by the laws of you know any one person's religion . Okay , we got to stop . We got it . We got to stop because I have a .

I have an inkling that we're about to explore some other things that I want to say for next time . All right , coach , if you can , if you can look up the that story about the yeah . I will look for it , have that for next time and we can .

So come through , check us out , and I'm going to actually recommend one . I interview my sister and we talk about anger and that one's pretty gets pretty , gets pretty deep , pretty quick the two of us talking about growing up and our relationship to anger . So I'll leave . I'll leave it there .

If you need to be directed to one episode in particular that will be a Bishop on on stuck AF , I think you'll . If you like this show , I think you'll get a lot out of that one .

Laura Barnes , the managing editor , who was amazing and wonderful , and I owe her a piece that I should start working on right now .

If you cannot support us , please consider leaving us a review , and all that helps to offset the people who hate us on their views . Because it happens , believe it or not , we try to be very loving and some people don't . They don't cotton to that kind of that kind of jive . So we really appreciate it .

I will say that we are . What are we ? How many ? What are we at this pace ? This is an episode three . We're about 20 minutes in . So we're making it for doing it . We may , yeah , we may , beat our . We may , we may . The king of other cups said he's gonna smash the over , might just make the under . So we'll see . We'll see how it all shakes out .

Yeah , I know wishful thinking . We'll see , but but yes , we'll continue next time with part four . Until then we are .