Ted Lasso | S3 Ep11 Part11 "Mom City"

So we're going to give it its due . I am your host , coach Castleton . With me , as always , is Coach Bishop .

That's pretty daunting , but let's see if we can get through the final four minutes or whatever we have of screen time for this episode . God help us , jesus . All right , boss , take it away . We have Ted walking in the door and what is happening as Ted walks in here ?

I don't know if he'd be in the mood for meatloaf or lasagna , so I made both . And he says mom , what's wrong ? Why are you here ? And she says what do you mean ? He says I mean , if you got something you need to say to me , I'd appreciate it if you just went ahead and said it .

She said oh , stop , I just want to spend my last night in London with my son and make sure everything's all right . And he says mm-hmm , yeah , okay , well , thank you for cooking dinner , both of them . And she says you're welcome . And he says and fuck you for not wanting to talk . She says excuse me .

And he says thank you for flying all the way here to come see me and fuck you for not telling me you're coming .

Thank you for all the small silly things you did for me as a kid , you know , like hiding notes in my lunchbox or putting googly eyes on the fruit in the supermarket just to make me laugh and fuck you for not working on yourself or seeking help after we lost dad and for not talking to me about it either , just glossing over the whole thing and acting like

everything was all right . And she says I'm sorry . She says I didn't know what to do , ted , so I pretended it was okay . And of course we've got the truck backing up , yeah , which adds to the whole flavor of that .

So I was like , oh , this is a Midwestern thing , it's not a European . The great European , narcissistic , that breed of sparrow would not cotton to any FUs , that would just be like a deal A deal . But also she wouldn't go to the thank yous either . So it's really interesting . I'm like , okay , this has that .

I was like , oh , is this like the end of Goodwill hunting or is this like the it's not your fault kind of thing ? And this is his version of this . Is how the nomenclature that he uses to sort of address it , because he is so . There's such a disparity and these are disparate elements of his psyche that he's like got it .

He can only handle thank you and fuck you because there's nothing in the middle .

And I think he could have just as easily and I think in a less well written show he could come in and go mom . Well , I have something I need to talk to you about .

When dad died and blah , blah , blah , and he'd be totally in the right and I'm sure they could have written a good scene , but I think , managing to say I know you worked to keep a smile on my face , drawing googly eyes on fruit , but that wasn't all I needed . So I think the thank you is genuine and I don't think it's split .

I think it's actually him doing what we've been learning , what he's been saying . He wants the universe to do and the world to do Like , don't judge , you know , like all the good , all the bad , judge it all . And he said that several different ways . I feel like , even in this moment of confrontation , he is granting that to his mother .

Because we don't see Ted get to a place where he's actually unearthed all of the issues related to his dad's death and deal with them . We are seeing him start to . And so maybe telling Dr Sharon what happened with his dad was as much as we were going to get him get to see him doing in this series .

This is not what I would qualify as a functional relationship as it stands between Ted and his mom . This is not they are fixing everything here . Oh no , he is starting to tell her some of the things that he was upset about .

Yeah , what I would say from my own experience is that I think what is a better angle to come at it from is you think to yourself well , fuck my parent for doing this , but thank you for doing this part . Like even my own dad , fuck you for killing yourself . That was fucking bullshit . You had four young children . What the fuck were you thinking ?

But also , I have a lifelong love of movies and music and all sorts of other shit that he helped instill in me . So thank you for telling me about Robbie Robertson , because I wouldn't have fucking known otherwise . Hey , thanks for that . So , like , and then I think using those things are supposed to be sort of a tool to understand .

My parent was a person , a person who was dealing with all of their own shit that they probably didn't get help from their parents on , and so I'm going to extend them as much forgiveness and grace and everything else to appreciate they did the best that they could .

Probably it sucked half the time , but they did what they could , and I am not going to carry the resentment or the anger or anything else , because they couldn't do better . I'm going to understand that they met me where they could and I'm going to try to meet them

there .

But I think he had to break it .

And it's funny she said the Midwest thing , coach , because actually I think this was the opposite of that and I think , interestingly , and whether they had this part planned out or not , I'm not sure they got here and realized the key to it was this but to have a guy who naturally says fudge , right , when , like everyone I know over the age of nine , would

say fuck yeah to eight when they're cool , right , and then to have that person say to their mother who we know , you know , tense , a good boy , if nothing else , fuck you , I think , is I . Well , I'll say first for me this scene is the climax of the series . This is the climax of the series .

Say what she mean , my fucking , say what you mean . Right . And then he did , and I think he had to break what they had for them to ever have something better , because what they had , what they had , was flawed in a way that made him want to punch the wall every time she opened her mouth . Yeah , yeah , yeah .

So I have trouble with the scene , but it's because it bosses smiling . It's not because I don't buy it or I don't . It doesn't resonate with me , it really does . But it's like , oh , this whole thing has been about the last , so way until there's trauma or whatever . That's like . Whatever happened to like be curious and not judgmental . This is like judgment .

This is the deaf and he is . He is giving a . This is him judging .

This is the impact of the choices you made , and this is how I feel about the impact of the choices you made , but it's still okay .

market right , right , a piggly , wiggly Right . So that's , that's one that you but . But I'm curious , you know when , dad , dad , I felt like really left out and I'm just wondering , like , how come you come ? You never put that . That seems like the curious approach and the you know what . I got a couple opposing issues . I got two big cauldrons .

One cauldron is named thank you , and over here , this call to name , it's almost like a love and hate from a radio . Right , you know , it's like you know you go . This is the thank you pot , this is the fuck you pot .

I feel them equally and they're both like , they're both coming for you Like , and because I have in my mind made a distinction like , it's like when you see a pharmacist put that thing down to count pills , or the other .

Was that Lassaway or is that Lassaway ? And is there a ? Lassaway , in fact which we could also do , because it shifts .

Once you start making breaking through , the Lassaway looks like this you know , I don't know , I don't know .

But the play you will forever be remembered for in Manchester and Richmond and maybe far beyond that , Certainly in Ted Lasso-Dumb of all of us who watch the show .

It's making us safe . It's like the polar opposite of the thing , but it was the thing that needed to be done at that moment . So for me , some of the ways in which it's been like oh , but that's not in , that's out , I said to me it's more , it's a way of being . It's not about you have to do A , B or C .

Was it the last away for Ted to say , oh , that's great , You're going on a date with Jane ? Huh , OK , you crazy kids . Or was it the last away for Higgins to persist and say I need you to ask yourself this question ? I would say both are . I would say , Well , it's not convenient , that's not Ted's move , but that is Higgins move .

It could have easily been coming out of his mouth at the same cadence , in the exact same way , and then he would have found it perfect and charming and wonderful . And so in some way , even during this episode , leaning up to this point , he is an alien unto himself in that way .

And so sometimes , when whatever I've watched this , god knows how many times now- Right and I'm like , ok , is he actually ? is this he saying this to himself , or is he actually ? Is she just the conduit to get back to him ?

I think that there is something conflicting about the idea of beard forgiving Nate by saying here's a story about a time that I fucked up and so I am going to extend you the same forgiveness that I was given , whereas now we are seeing Ted saying this is a time you fucked up and it becoming his way of working through his own trauma is by telling his mom

exactly how badly she fucked up . Yeah , yes .

I thought it was a powerful scene for Ted in this moment . But I also was like but is it going to do any good and was it necessary ? Couldn't he have figured this out with Dr Sharon and not needed Like , is it ever going to ? I don't know . I'm like is this ?

That's really what I needed the money for . Now you could argue that if I hadn't spent the money I'd spent on alcohol , I would have had money for books . But that's not the point of story . So stay with it .

I kind of just let it sort of linger there and linger there and linger there . And then I get word . Hey , orlando , there's some guy walking around campus , says he's your father , walks like you . So we're thinking he's probably your father . So just so you know your father's our campus , what so I ?

And we go to the Caimans every year Like it's that , it's that thing , and you put your spouse in and you put your kid's name , something like that . And so I looked at Juliana's thing and the last it was like five years I think they do it every five years or something like that and she put my name in as spouse and I'm like what's up now ?

Like fuck , like eat shit , harvard . Like look at whose name is in the motherfucking book .

all matters to me . I did not know . You got into Harvard and Yale and Wharton and it's going to be after this . We're going to say goodbye and do the thing where we all go , hey , until next time . And then I'm coming for you .

So he tells me that , yeah , you know , he's talking to my older sister and he's like oh , so the money , blah , blah , blah . She's like what money were you talking about ? So he was like oh yeah , you could have at least told me .

And then , right , so we sat down , though and I know this place is called the Pizza House and we sat down and we talked , and we really talked . And so that's where he told me like hey look , if it was that and a situation , let me know , blah , blah . And I shared with him .

I said yeah , and if I'm honest , I think probably part of me felt like I had it coming anyway , like you spent money on defense lawyers and this and that and tuition that never got where it was supposed to go with my , I'll just say , older siblings , and here I am working as a referee and a bartender and this and that to go to college , and I'm the one

who struggled and you had all of that for them , screwing up , and I think I just , if I'm sitting here with you now , I didn't think it sitting here with you now , I just felt like you know , I screw them , they've gotten enough anyway , and I need these fucking books and I guarantee you I did that course and I'm I guess maybe that's some of what I

experienced here Like obviously we have a dramatic version of it and into speech and whatever , but I do feel like I think he needed to hear that . I think he needed to like as much as I needed to say it , and I did apologize .

I think he needed to hear that I was like , hey , man , like that shit didn't like just sort of materialize from nowhere , Like every bit of resource that went the way of that shit wasn't there for me when I needed it , and so I guess part of what I experienced going through this scene is him needing to tell Dottie like I wasn't abandoned by my father .

I was abandoned by my parents , and just cause one was still living here , she abandoned me too . I think he needed to say it . I don't think he needed to say it in a way that was to teach her a lesson or whatever . I think he just needed to say like that is what I experienced , that is what my life was from that point on .

As much as everybody on this podcast loves my mother Kathy is hilarious and great and everything else but there were a lot of conflicted feelings that I had for a very long time where I was like , hey , you brought that motherfucker into our house and let him stay . You , let him treat us like this . That's a real thing .

So there were things that I needed to make clear to her in order to an established relationship that she and I could have with me as an adult where we would be functional and good moving forward . There were some things I just needed her to know more than anything else . What I didn't need to do was punish her .

There is a part of me that feels like if we had a follow-up episode 30 years in the future , where Henry comes to Ted and is like fuck you for leaving , fuck you for not getting your shit together before you ruined your marriage tomorrow , fuck you for flying to another country for three years when you were supposed to be there taking care of me .

We'd be like , hey , buddy , can you cut him some slack ? He was getting divorced and figuring out his life and dealing with some . So I just think in this instant .

What I thought about a lot actually is a friend of mine whose mom is an alcoholic and she's been dealing with it for at least his entire adult life although a lot of her life also and she had an accident , like a bad accident fell down some stairs about 15 years ago and had stopped drinking altogether , because that's a very serious wake-up call .

And when he found out that she had been drinking again , immediately started this huge text about how , like , how dare you do this to us ? That we're your family and you cannot be doing it ? And as he was revising and revising , and revising and figuring out , what do I really want to say ? We're like what do I really need her to know about this right now ?

The text he ended up sending to her was I'm here if you want to talk .

I just think that , presented in this way , it made it sort of feel like I mean , she says I didn't know what to do , like her husband , who I'm sure had been struggling with mental health issues , if maybe not substance abuse issues , had just died and she was now a single parent raising a six-year-old boy who probably didn't want to listen to her or do what

she told him to do . He was off to college in a couple of years .

Like , I'm not saying she did it correctly , I'm saying that I understand why , being in the position that she was , she could not do it better than she did , and I wish that Ted had been able to come to that same conclusion , just for his own character , not necessarily for the show , but for the good of Ted . Like she did do the best that she could .

There is some comfort in that , true ?

Thank you for all the small , silly little things you did for me as a kid , you know , like hiding notes in my lunchbox or putting googly eyes on the fruit at the supermarket just to make me laugh .

And fuck you for not working on yourself or seeking help after we lost dad and for not talking to me about it either , just glossing over the whole thing and acting like everything was all right .

. I swear she hadn't carried it around for so long . Yeah , okay , and all right . And this is where a master , master , manipulator turns the tables is like so this one I'm like , I know what this is Like , first of all , so it's like he can do his dance . He's like da da , da , da , da , da , da , da , da , da , da , da , da da .

You know , like whatever he's like tap dance , he's like no , no , he gives it to her . Now you do the tap dance and she's like but my tap dance will kill you . My tap dance has an edge to it , has a blade . So she's like I appreciate you sharing this with me , but she hadn't carried around for so long .

I read that and my hackles go up and I'm like so that's how I , fucked up , was carrying it for so long .

He says what boss I mean . Then she says what boss ?

I was thinking about if you lose a child , how do you connect with their spirit after they're gone , cause you have a daily interaction with them and then you know what they are , you know what they smell like , you know what they do , you know how their joints work in their body , like how they walk , how they sit .

Does one kid sit under with a leg under them ? Does one kid throw their feet up on that ? You know they all these like mannerisms and there's a way of being around that person and you get you sort of have these elements about and then if you lose a child God forbid , it makes me I can't even like talk about it . Then you know it doesn't always .

It's like , okay , well , what do you believe about the afterlife or things like that ? And I was like , oh God , like I can't even picture a world where I would have to experience that like go whatever .

So for me and this is to all the people , listeners and buttercups out there who have had to experience something like that and you know it's difficult , that's obviously underselling it , but I , you know it's can't even imagine . So when she says your son misses you , I'm like there's no , this is the there's no dagger , it's she couldn't have .

Like it's like it's like it's like when Brutus gets Caesar with the final dagger . It's like you could not have a sharper object to hurt .

So I guess I'll go ahead and say the thing now , because that'll get the heat off me . That's one version , but I think there's also a level on which he has thrown down a different kind of gauntlet and he has said we got to stop this shit . It's un-fucking-healthy . Why are you here listening to Australians have sex ?

Stop saying it's a fucking Mother's Day trip . What is happening ? And having gone through this , like to me , okay , maybe this was why the fuck you landed different . Now that we're getting here To me , the fuck yous were taken her by the shoulders and shaken her . It was hey , I'm serious , we are not just fucking doing our little cute , little low .

That reminds me of the musical and we're gonna sing the fucking song . Hey , we gotta like face the reality of our lives , man . And so I took this piece . I experienced a little more as her saying you know what ? You're right , and this is gonna be hard to say to you because I know of all people how hard it is gonna be for you to hear it .

But here you go , you're some of this . I love that .

Is that why she's here ? I thought so . Yes , boss is here .

Like it is unbelievable . Having said that , I do think there's a tiny aspect of that where it was easier for her to say what she needed to say at that point than to say what he needed her to say , which is to talk more about why it was that she couldn't .

But she's sending them an email because he's throwing like like spitballs at her , and then she takes meal near and does hammers and like one hit you know , like no , I .

I don't know if she knew why she came , but whatever , let's say for argument's sake that she's here to say this . Once she says it , man , oh my God , it's almost like we definitely never seen Ted like this .

Okay , he tried to create this thing that he felt got snatched from him , like when people said to me like oh , ted last , or reminds us of you , I feel like this part of Ted , or maybe this part of me I get and I'm projecting on Ted , but I feel like this part of Ted I get .

He was like I'm going to have a wife , I'm going to have a son and we're going to have a happy house , and there's going to be little sayings we say about when homework gets done and we're done writing all the , all the things , and when we see each other after a long time , it's going to be helicopters and shit , right , yeah .

And then it didn't go that way . But he did all this motherfucking work to be the kind of father that were in that picture frame thing that he had . And then his wife was like why don't you get the fuck away from me ? He's like , all right , well , I guess I have to figure this out .

And then it's oh , actually , no , no , father , oh man , okay , I guess we're getting a divorce and he's away from his son and he knows what it's like like few people in the world not named boss , no , for real , what the fuck it's like to like dad is fucking gone . Like I have shit , I have questions , I want to ask , I have whatever , and dad's gone .

If mom hadn't brought that lunch , I would have been a hungry motherfucker because dad can't bring it , and I think that's , I think that's why it hits him , because he knows like . He knows what that particular whole feels like . And Ted has to face that like damn , like no matter what . Because I think in that picture frame version of life you never fuck up .

In that picture frame version of life , you never do any emotional damage to your kids Ever , ever like you learned from your shitty , crappy in May's poem Parents and you know now that like I'm just going to do the opposite of these fucking idiots and then I'll have a perfect family . And then you find out , oh yeah , that's not how this works .

they do not need to be around you anymore , and that's the opposite of most relationships , like I try to make people closer to me , so like this is one where you're like I'm training you to not need me eventually , and that's I'm not a parent and that's fucking hard Like hey God , this might be the time that I end up crying on the podcast , but LaRoy Moore

was the original sex bonus for the Dave Matthews band my original love .

I'm sorry you've been replaced by the National . But I'm sorry You've been replaced by the National , but Dave Matthews was my first bad tattoo and he was in an AVT accident back in like 2007 and ended up dying .

Like while the band was releasing albums and touring and like being on top of the fucking world , their sex bonus died and they played a show a few days after he died and Dave was talking about LaRoy and how much he loved him and he said it's always easier to leave than to be left behind .

So thank you all for being here with me tonight and I think about like I think about it way too much that he said that because I love it so much , but also like just the fucking idea of everything that we don't know about death can be boiled down to it's easier to leave than to be left behind , and how often that feels like a danger to us in our daily

lives just having somebody leave .

And if there was anything we learned about Ted very early on , it's that tie . It hates ties . Come on , and this line I loved because I was like , yeah , that's it , and you want so or I want so bad to win . As a parent , I want to get it right . I want to always have the right story or the right phrase or just the right amount of push .

I want to win and yeah , a tie is not bad . Like a lot of times as a parent I've had to just sort of accept that if it's a tie , take that shit and go because there'll be losses , and so that line really , and yeah .

Most of the time you just tie based on the outcome of the child . But I'm like I think it's almost always a win . Maybe that's just me cheating .

I'm like I always say you just got to show up and it's so much easier Not really easier , but I think once you do that gargantuan thing of showing up especially in this world where there's so many distractions and so many I was reading just today about a guy watching another father and the little girl .

There was another father at whatever at a soccer game or something or something , some family picnic , and I was a family picnic . That's what it was A bunch of families at a picnic . The other guy has a little girl , you know , five , six , seven years old , whatever . Daddy , I want to climb that tree . Can you lift me up ? He's .

And he watched another man say to his daughter I don't want to get sweaty right now and then and he wrote someday she'll ask you to play for the last .

Like you regularly tell me things you say and do with your kids . That makes me go , well , god damn , I missed that opportunity . Like , yeah , if somebody drops something , we should all jump up and go help them clean it up . Like how fucking total family is that ?

And so I would actually argue , rather than it being that you cheated here , I think you get it here .

I think you just said to us that you parent the way Pep said in that moment with Ted and the way Ted said to Trent Criminet Restaurant , which is , at the end of the day , it's not about the wins and the losses , it's about helping our children become the best versions of themselves , and I think anybody who's watched .

You parent , and I really mean that anybody who's watched you parent is like I mean by that standard as an NFL when they go to Hall of Fame to get their gold jacket . By that standard , you are a gold jacket wearing dad . From where I said I mean , I really mean that . I mean that from the bottom of my heart , thank you .

My situation is very much , very similar to that , you know , where you say like I want , and it didn't always go .

I've had a divorce , and a terrible divorce at that , and so it did not go that way , and so it makes you like you have to like show up even harder and show up even when you have to like dig down , and so that's why I don't necessarily see it as like I guess it's a personal battle . You just say like okay , do what ?

can I continue to keep showing up and then the good stuff can happen . After that it feels like that's the first step and I know this is going to resonate with a lot of our listeners . We have so many people , you know there's single , single parents out there .

There's people going through divorce , there's people having all kinds of when we say divorce , there's breakups of all kinds . There's the amicable divorce , but it's still a challenge . You know , like , oh yeah , we did a conscious uncoupling , great . But it's like now you're , you know you don't have that backup in the same way .

And you know when , when , boss , when you're telling me about your mom faced with a 16 year old boy who doesn't listen to you anymore , I'm not like it doesn't surprise me that she would say I need backup of a , of a man to like in case that you know , like to kind of enforce the law .

I just think like it's just hard , it can just be very hard and it feels like it can in some ways because we're more aware of these dynamics it can somehow makes it harder , like when you ever hear about people oh yeah , I'm one of 13 kids and basically mom kept spitting them out and and we just all raised each other and it's like I , I am not going to .

It is so hard at some point . This is a true story Juliana was talking to me about . We were talking about like graduation years for the kids , you know like it's like , oh , class of this and class of that .

And she told me I don't know , somehow she told me the , the graduation year of our nine year old , like a high school graduation year , or was it the college graduation ? I , she don't , whatever , I forget what it was . But she told me okay , this is our daughter's graduation year .

And my first thought and I said it out loud and she was like , looked at me , like I had three heads . I was like , I was like , wait , I have to live that long . And she was like , holy shit , holy shit , like , like you have to live longer than that idiot . You have to significantly like , like , because I'm like it is .

It can be so difficult , it can be so hard just putting one foot in front of the other and doing this thing where you show up and managing all these different elements and the world today and what , what . You know how you have to protect your kids and sometimes it feels like everything's going wrong .

And anyway , I'm sending this out to our listeners because I know we've heard from so many butter cups and listeners alike who they're in this and they're fighting the good fight every single day . It can be a challenge just to roll out of bed and keep going . So yeah , thanks for bringing all that up . Coach and boss appreciate it .

Don't know how true this is , but that maybe this whole destroying of Twitter was actually done intentionally , which I'm more than once said . He couldn't have done a worse job if he did it on purpose . So , anyway , we'll find out . Well , I'm sure we'll find out over time how true that is .

Anyway , I will send you this link , though , and it is a speech , that from modern family , which I did not watch the entire series , although I loved everything I watched , and this was from later than I watched .

But the patriarch , for those who haven't seen it is doing a toast , essentially , or you know , everybody's at dinner and he's talking , and he starts to talk about how you have your kids and , as they start to grow up , you lose that kid , that kid , but it's always okay because they're replaced by the next , this next kid , who's also great and off right , and

then he goes through , and where he lands is and then eventually , essentially , they walk out the door . I mean , basically is the point of the speech ? And did not do well watching that clip . I'm going to go ahead and be honest about that . I don't . There's no way . I mean there is a way , but I don't know that .

I , if you had laid that out for me as a child , or even as an 18 year old when it was my turn to walk out the door , I don't think I could have wrapped my mind around how real that is . Like I see pictures of me with my son .

There's a picture of us on the deck at one point and he's like maybe a little past waist height and I'm holding my hands up like we're boxing . He's holding his hands up . I'm sure I was showing him , you know , Like all right , only he has to do this . And I was like I want that , but it can never have that .

Like he is 18 , like whatever we're gonna have now or not have , or whatever , like it'll never be that and that's harder than I imagined . Like that piece of missing are like oh , that 13 year old version . I really enjoyed that moment .

Or 15 was rough , but you still like that person's now gone and I think probably Ted , whether he thought it consciously or not , was already experiencing some of that about his family life Like somehow like a sitcom .

I imagined that we were gonna have kids and at some point they were just gonna kind of like freeze in time Although I would never said that consciously and I was kind of aghast that they turned 18 . I was like what the fuck Like ?

And now this takes us a little away if we're gonna come back to the scene . For sure , but it's wild too to look at him , because when I was his age , I used to lift and when I was his age , my leg was all muscle . You know what I mean .

And so I look at him and also , in addition to all the other stuff we're describing , he walks upstairs with his shirt off and I'm like who gave this dude my chest ? Like that's my chest , can I have my chest back ? I'm like what is happening right now ? I'm like what the fuck is going on ?

He says thank you , she comes up , she give him a hug and you know , and makes him feel better , which is nice . He says thank you , and then she leans in and what does she say ? Boss ?

Now he's sheepish Like he's never said . I promise you he has never said the word fuck in the vicinity of his mother .

So I understand why you frame it like hey , this is it , this is the whole thing , coach . I get that because in some ways , there is no Ted Lasso without this moment . Right , right , it has to be this in order for it to make sense in a way .

He got it in a number of ways from a number of sources Dr Sharon , from Rebecca , from Relationship with the Guys , from Dealing with Beard in this strange place where there are two strangers in a strange land .

But he needed to go through some shit and we've watched him have the kind of journey he's provided for so many people , for the Wichita State Shockers and who knows who else , and probably for that , you know , ayso type team he's about to coach next with all the passion he did in the Premier League . So I , yeah , like

he needed it .

I would have liked a scene between Ted and Dr Sharon where Ted Sharon maybe suggested you not be as forgiving , you not be willing to always let people take the shirt off your back or whatever else , and Ted responding that you know that his problem is not that he's too caring to other people's problems , that he's not caring enough to himself .

He needs to work on his own problems . But yes , I would have liked to have seen something like that .

He kind of looks a little lost , grabbing a splash , like because he's trying to get back to his center in some way . But he is so knocked off , of course , by this moment , like it was a needed , necessary thing , but just to get back to like , oh God , like you know , let's start with the wine , let's do please .

He's dabbing his eyes in the back of his hand . He's trying to look around to make sense of it all . I just I loved it . I loved the physicality in this moment . Now we cut to . We're inside at the doorbell rings and , coach , can you walk us through what we're seeing here ?

Rebecca asked we , and then opens the door some more and there we have the latest of Rupert's unsuspecting victims , let's put it . And so the two , bex and I'm reaching for a name and it's not coming . It's Cakes . Cakes , bex and his case come in and we just get sort of a smile from Rebecca , not a , but it's not a .

I think it's important that it's not like ha ha ha ha . It's more like yeah , I get it , I know , I know . Like she could tell them the story .

There's always that element that gets preyed upon and in stories it comes up of , like the women in particular then hating each other and that bitch he used to be married to and all this kind of stuff , and I like I like that in this we get that Bex is like I could use the wisdom of a woman who's been through this and I get and I love that .

Rebecca's reaction is yeah , I kind of had to figure this shit on my own in a way that you're not going to have to come on in . I really appreciated this .

Then they fucking made oceans eight and we're like well , john , he's been wrong before and you will be wrong , and this is a very clear instance , because Kate Wanchett and Sandra Bullock could have stolen away everybody's wife . Every single woman in the country would have been into that relationship if we could have watched more of that .

So seeing women in this way is not new to me , but I always do still appreciate it .

It says I will read it Enjoy your sunflower seed bread , your favorite . Thank you , and just and just thank you , with a big smiley face , for a lovely time , love mom . It's his teddy on the front of the note and I guess this means that mission accomplished and Dottie is flown the coup .

So I think when one of the best thermals I ever heard was by Marvin Wyandens another story I was saying in front of Marvin Wyandens that was awesome , but gratitude . But he said thank you for the pain . And I just remember like , and he talked about like , the role of pain and how important pain is .

Right , we all want to avoid pains like you need pain man , like leprosy , people getting fucked up with leprosy because they couldn't feel the pain . That's the problem with leprosy . So anyway , it was a whole thing . But I liked that he had this quiet moment . She actually baked the bread for him . They've already had the wine , now they have the bread .

There's like a really ceremonial piece to this and then that it's gratitude , right , and it's literally the dawn of a new day , like you see the sort of like warm glow of the dawn , you know , coming through the window and over his face .

So I thought that was significant and not something they happened into , especially after he stood in front of that painting for his moment , where he had his big transformational moment .

You get an establishing shot of Nelson Road and then one of the locker room with Will putting , you know , setting the whole thing up for the players towels on the benches . Ted walks in , got his backpack on . He seems lost in thought a little bit . Morning Will , morning Ted .

And when he gets into his office you have , by the way , I mean , not that it doesn't really matter , but like it's just unfair how pretty Hannah Waddingham is .

It's like a , it's like a , it's like a , you know , but it's like whatever it's pulled . So my point I'm trying to get at is in the first scene here with Bex and Miss Cakes' door , she has her hair up one way and she's got like a high turtleneck . And you cut to this scene and her hair is all down and she's just a knockout in every way .

And you're like that's not fair . Like , can I have the rule book please ? Like , is this allowed ? Like , are you allowed to keep doing ? Like , whatever we see you you're just a goddamn vision . But anyway , she's a beaut and she is looking at John Wooden's pyramid when Ted walks in . And what does Ted say here , coach ?

I just want to point out that it is my fervent belief that I will take to the grave that this show is the kentugi of the pyramid , that they brought that pyramid in the beginning , and they've shown us a new way for it to work and a specific way for it to work and that's been the entire journey that we've been on is the beautiful thing we're now putting

together from the pieces of this .

And she says it's the time you're coming down to reveal something . Okay , great . Okay , ted , this is where we give each other presents . Okay , here's the present . There is no present , like so , she's all right , that's okay . Well , here we go . And what is it ? What is it ? Go ahead , keep walking us through this . I just , this is nuts .

I thought it was a brilliant choice to have her say I've got nothing , because the only way to have no truth bomb of any size or sort like she could she wracked her brain is to have been so open and honest in a relationship that what would I possibly tell you that you don't already fucking know .

And so to me it was like they have apex , Like they , this is like top of the mountain in terms of this friendship , that it's like all my cards are on the table . You know who I am , you know how I am . I lived in the street . No , bro , Seriously .

I know that there was a little bit of that that was like this is where he's going to confess that he loves her . We're going to figure this out . I think that this was more so like there are no truths left to be said and so this part of the relationship is over .

The other thing is that we're not going to have a relationship in the future , but not in the same way .

I don't Such a waste . You're a hot white person .

Like it just feels like when you have a sort of a beautiful time with something , and I'm terrible with endings . We talked about this , yeah , and maybe that's an ADHD thing , coach , maybe we can just always tie it back to that .

I was reading about these two people dating and the person was like I want to be , I want to date an ADHD , another person with ADHD , and I was like wait a sec , what ? And then I've read and it was like oh , and I was like wait , is that the thing ?

So sometimes you dated somebody when you're growing up and you both were able to get to a really hardcore , intense place real fast , real fast , whereas a lot of other people and I was like wait , is that the ADHD ? Like holy shit .

But some pretty beautiful stories too .

I'm trying to just just bask in the in the moment . Please support your local libraries and the written word and the actors from SAG and AFTER who are still on strike and , yes , continue to please be kind to each other and do all the wonderful things that our listening community does .

We have such great people all around the world , all of whom have been looking for something , with Ted Lasso being the conduit , and we hope that we're all sort of finding it together . Thank you to our Butter Cups for all the support .

We actually couldn't keep going without it and we are going to be back with wow , season three , episode 12 , right , that'll be it . Season three , episode 12 . Okay , it's exciting . So until next time we are Richmond .