Ted Lasso | S2 Ep10 Part4 "No Weddings And A Funeral"

Welcome to our Ted Lasso talk , the Tedcast . Welcome all Greyhound fans , welcome all you sinners from the dog track and all the AFC Richmond fans around the world . It's the Lasso way around these parts with Coach , coach and Boss , without further ado , coach Castleton .

Okay , welcome back everyone . Today we are going over Ted Lasso , season two , episode ten . No Onenings in the Funeral . This is part four of our ongoing series . I'm your host , coach Castleton . With me , as always , is Coach Bishop .

I want to understand why Rupert is as awful as he is , that I've decided that's where I am in this exact moment Like it's really terrible and he's really terrible , so I'm going to spend some time with that today .

Well , we finished up last episode having Rupert bring his spiked baby into the funeral of his ex-wife's father . I mean , it's a nice way to , when you're trying to get a baby to sort of feel the good karma of the world . It's nice if that baby is a weapon . With Coach and I coming off a hellacious day at work is our boss , emily Chambers .

My name is Emily Chambers and my comfort movie is the last 15 minutes of Lucky Number Slavin . So I might understand Rupert on a level that other people don't . I'm not as mean as he is , but I kind of get where he's coming from .

All right . Yeah , that's terrifying . That's terrifying . Now , boss , you are just to clarify . You had a crappy day , generally the same thing that we've heard you sort of mentioned before people not doing their jobs , and then trying to pin it on you and then when you actually help them out , then they want to continue to waste your time .

Oh yeah , yes , it's , it's delightful . If you haven't seen it , you should . It is Josh Hartnett , the hottest he's ever been , which says a lot more about me than it does about him .

That was your bad . You were Babs . Yes , you were Babs .

Yeah , no . So I watched the super , the ending of a super violent movie , and enjoyed it . I did eat , I washed my face . Now I'm ready . Now I'm ready to talk about healing .

Let's do it , boss . Have you ever seen any of the Gareth Evans films or shows , the Gangs of London or the raid , raid to ? Okay , so put those on my list , I think . If you like very , very stylized killing sprees , I mean holy , yeah , okay , I think you'll , I think you'll . I think you'll dig it .

I feel like that was the beginning of some sort of ad campaign where you presented you highly stylized , If you do .

I could point you in the direction of one episode of Boardwalk Empire and a comparison one episode of Barry I never they got some shit .

They got some shit I never finished . Boardwalk Empire is another one of my . I don't know . Maybe I should just acknowledge the ADHD of this all , but at any rate , because it wasn't like I stopped liking it , just I don't know . Between seasons and then my life changed and then it came back and I didn't want back .

Absolutely not , absolutely not . They were not fucking around with that . If you had the feelings about Richard Harrow that I did , you would not have forgotten about the show , because I didn't . I kept right on there . But either way , you know , tweet at me , or I wanted the other places where you could talk about stylized violence . I love it , yeah .

Now I feel like we should use tweet for other platforms just to say fuck Elon , like , just like absolutely you know what I mean . 100% tweet me on threads . See you later .

Yeah , no , I'm fine with whatever humiliation we can do out there . Okay , well , we left off last time . Healy had just said I'll never leave your side to Rebecca . See , sassy runs in and really leaves Rebecca side . Roy walks up and says he sees to it , kisses Rebecca says sorry for her loss . Keely and sassy , of course , hug . On the inside .

So before we even get into this , I would like to mention that I love so much that sassy and Keely love each other the way that they do .

Yeah , the idea that men are the beacon of a healthy communication is that's pretty rich , it's pretty rich .

Whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , hold up , hold up . We all know that women are shrill and we know that they can't be trusted , you know , with like nuclear codes or things you know right , because they can just get emotional .

That's right . Let's start with our givens .

Let's start with the givens , right , right , just just Okay , this is obviously I'm kidding , for hey , welcome if you're joining us for the first time .

Oh , I really don't like that . He's a big that one .

Can you imagine ?

I really hope that the beginning of this is just Emily's favorite violent sprees . And also women are horrible , oh .

God Jesus .

If you don't know our stick , I take on babies .

Oh horrible the thing that I think is the saddest part about what you said , boss , is who I used to find funny , when I used to find the fun , and because funny should be theoretically shouldn't have an expiration date , and the only time it does is when the comedian or the person doing it falls out of favor .

I would only like to specify that outside of his personal life I'm not sure if people are not fully aware as a standup comedian he talked a lot about his own shortcomings . He had a substance abuse issue that he overcame . He talked about how he was sort of a pushover and that his bitchy wife bitchy in a loving way , like .

That's going on a pillow .

But anyway , so this scene .

Sassy and Keely are catching up . Sassy says funerals are so weird . Keely says I was literally talking about that earlier . Do you want to be a tree when you die ? And Sassy says hell yeah , or a really stupid dog , either one in a great life , stupid dogs who belong to rich people . The best lives , absolutely no question . The best life , oh yeah .

Which she does .

she does like a hip , throw Hips in her juvenile , as we can make it just great .

Yeah , like a third grade boy , like as dumb as a third grade boy and in her beautiful get up . She's in her black funeral attire and just picking on Sassy is so goddamn funny .

Although if you can fuck in a tree , I don't think anything has anything to say to you . That is impressive If it's not a treehouse situation . I am wildly impressed with what you're doing .

Yeah , sassy says shut up , you little troll , which I'm like . I've never thought of Keely as a troll , but it's adorable . Okay , keep going boss .

So after that she says I'm sorry , I say mean things to beautiful women .

All right , because I'm starting to feel a little disloyal to Rebecca . So I , you know , I got to be careful here , I got to be mindful . I don't want to be , I don't , I don't pull a mohliy here . Yes , yes , we should coin that , but no , but I again , they show a certain brilliance of Sassy that she is able . She said the thing to be funny , she .

You're saying the cleanup was really fast . Yeah , Like you know what I ?

mean .

Sassy cluing into where she was , because she didn't say it to her right .

So there's no , there was no reason as it landed for her to be looking for signs of pain . She's like you know , ha ha , stop , you , stop bothering me , like Keely started it . But as soon as she sees , that she has caused even a niota of pain . She's like in immediately cleaning it up , making it right , Boom Done .

I also think coach for people with ADHD . It's kind of amazing to see people . When you don't have ADHD , you can focus on things in a way that we can't . So I'm like you know she's like oh sorry I , she has this category . I just say I say mean things are beautiful . It's one of the things I do , like boss has a lot of these things .

depends on the day of the week .

Here we go .

She's like yes .

I'm just saying it's kind of amazing . It feels like a super car . She's like I say sorry , I say you know she can just kind of she compartmentalizes it in a way and sums it up and she's self aware enough to know oh , I do , this is a thing I do , sorry .

Like , interestingly , code , I don't want to do an ADHD sidetrack too far because there's just a little too much irony there . But but I actually think I double back on what you just do said you do so because I think my whole life I've worked to organize things that way because they felt disorganized .

When you take those to the Myers-Briggs tests and things like that .

That's what you're talking about Kind of take those .

I'm always like which person am I today ? I mean like I don't know . I'm like , oh , really , okay , yeah , I'm like , well , it'll be like a , quite like a hypothetical . I feel like .

I'm like I don't know , like , in certain ways you know , like I definitely do .

There's some , there's some movement to the answers , and so one day you'll get this one rating and maybe , if you took it on a different day , and get another one . I don't know . Boss , you're looking at me like crazy .

No , no , no no , it's not that . It's only that I believe I've read somewhere that the makes Briggs Myers test was created as sort of like a cocktail party game . I don't know if there's a whole lot of substantiated research behind it .

I appreciate that , boss , thank you . I want to close the ADHD loop here by something I was saving for the podcast . It was something I found online and someone in an ADHD support group was saying to other people that each day you're explaining it just fine . People with ADHD just don't understand .

That's like master procrastinator was not what I was expecting .

Really for ADHD . Oh yeah , interesting . Yeah , that's funny .

Well , I just didn't expect you to have a different second half of a master . Yeah , no , in fairness .

In fairness , if you hyper focus .

Yeah .

I mean come on man , I'm right knees in real time .

Coach , give me a little . I was like , try to figure out . You're saying masturbation , but like what ? But that I don't think people at ADHD have have a Lyman masturbation . I think it would be like I should probably masturbate . Wait , is that a squirrel Like ? I don't think you know , what I mean .

I think Rebecca is secretly dating someone .

Yeah .

I like weeks though .

I love this because it's a great way for us to be in on the fact . It fills in some of what we already kind of learned through Rebecca and Sam . Like they've been at this , they've been sneaking around , they've been whatever , and of course her friend would pick up that something is going on . So I just thought it was a I don't know .

Yeah , no , it's interesting and they decided to try to get a line you know for like weeks . Now is today an inappropriate data inquire , slash badger her and telling us who to , and he says we'll never know unless we try . Jamie Tart enters the church incredibly handsome . Phil Dunster , stop it , knock it off . Knock it off Way , way too handsome she's .

It's an absolute echo of what happened outside , which I thought was fun .

Right , yes , right , exactly right . Keely just needs tie . And then she asks , you know , just like oh hey , is that the suit that Ted got you ? And , boss , what does Jan Moss say about that ?

Another man buying your clothes is infantilizing . Yes , oh my God , like he just wants to double check . This is why we're asking about it . Yeah , like , because . Because it makes you look like a man child .

That's a great point .

Did Ted buy me this suit that I'm wearing or the only other suit I own , which is my birthday suit ? Because I don't think he did .

He does .

Jamie was me in this moment . I was like God damn it , jan Moss , man Come on .

Yeah , Jesus Christ , To which Nate says what coach ?

Well , no , he doesn't buy all of my clothes . Most of them are gifts from my mom , you know it says . It's like he hears it as he says it and he realizes , jesus , I'm still shabbling . Look at that whole thing about when you find yourself in a hole , stop digging . He realizes like . I'm still digging so anyway , that's awful yeah .

I mean all , I mean just when the term was infantilized , right .

Right .

Right Is right . Nate says let's go and offer the leaves . Roy then approaches and we can hear him coming by the crunch of the apple that he's eating and coach . What does Keely say to Roy as he enters frame ? She ?

asks is that's a fucking apple ? To which he says yeah , I got it from a tree outside . It tastes like dead people and Keely not shock . He says that's not funny , roy , no , but it's surprisingly delicious . Keely storms off .

Yeah , yeah , yeah .

I mean , this is one of those things where you don't need to believe what she believes , but you can't openly mock , no like you have to just , it isn't nicer , it isn't better that she wants to be a tree and he wants to be avenged . Both of those things are equally fine , but she is not mocking him for wanting to be avenged .

And she is not . No , she's not mocking him . Also , like he went through some trouble . For this moment it's like I'm trying to remember who it was . It wasn't Judd Apatow , anyway , it doesn't really really matter who it was , but they went on a talk show and they were wearing a tuxedo . I'm trying to remember who the fuck it was .

Well , okay , now listen here's . Here's the thing . First of all , I want to point out the Jamie notices , when he was like you know which , and them showing us that Jamie's noticing makes the plot thick and a little . That's the first part . The second part is is Roy being obnoxious or is he being funny , or is he being both or neither ?

I would say obnoxious . I don't . I think when he said avenge me , that was funny . I think everything after that has been obnoxious . So I think he's trying to be funny . I don't think it's working .

He's trying to be funny , like right , he didn't come in here to he didn't come here to needle keely though right , I think he did in that he wanted her to join him in saying that the needling part is okay .

And she's saying this . Shit's not funny to me , Like , like you know , I get that he thinks like I'll keep joking , but it's not . Why would he think it's going to become funny ? Like it's nothing about her reaction ? Earlier said it was so to me . I'm with Boston . Like this is obnoxious . I love Roy , but this is obnoxious .

I see , okay , so keely will be called a troll by sassy and she'll joke around in church and do like humping in church . But then , because Roy references sort of a private conversation that they've had , that's what's oh , I don't think it's like .

I don't even think it's not referencing , I don't . I think if they were standing alone in this church they've gotten there early and he walked in with an apple and did this , she'd be equally pissed . I don't think it's because the other people are .

I'm just talking about her mood , like . So her mood is not like , like she's not in a bad mood .

No , and then Roy comes in , is the great mood for a few right right .

But then . But so something , this triggers her in a way where she actually walks away and I thought , oh , it tastes like dead people , is kind of fun .

Yeah , because you're not the one who revealed to someone you love that you want to be a tree and had them openly mock your plan for eternity .

I like . We have the limber , we have the , we have the , the lad .

Oh is he clever . But he's not making fun of my views of the universe or how I would want to give meaning to my death .

I didn't think he was making fun of it , I thought he was joking around , like I thought he was kind of continuing their banter . But there was , like I think to Keely .

There was no banter , there was . I was trying to talk to you and you were an asshole . Then we had to come to this funeral where I have to pretend to be sad when I'm really mad . And then you chose , knowing that I'm mad , to come to come , poke at me a little bit more .

Yeah got it Okay . Thank you for clarifying that . Yeah , that's good . Why getting trouble at home a lot ?

It is because you say that apples taste like dead people Probably just try to be funny .

No , I don't get a lot . I don't get a lot . I'm just saying , like in general , I didn't think this was . I thought , oh , he's just trying to be playful with her and they'll have a like , like if she rolled her eyes at him and whacked him and playfully I would . I would think , okay , that I could like knock it off , dummy . I could see that .

Yeah , I was curious , boss , because I , yeah , I'm curious your , your take on that particular piece , that like that , because I wouldn't

No , no , because to start with , when she said , what do you want to have happen to you when you die , she was trying to open not a serious conversation , but at least like , hey , tell me some more information about yourself , like give me some insight into who you are as a person , what your belief system is , what you think happens after we die .

But she was playful about it , boss , she's like she said oh the like a bus , the bus , whatever , was swerving to avoid a child Like she like started role playing .

No , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no I know you and Roy misunderstand what the child thing was I don't think she's not having fun .

Okay , like if they were outside , outside the church right , and there was a bus and she planted at it like that might be the bus that gets you .

I doubt I doubt he walked away Because one I can't imagine she would make that . Sorry , go ahead , boss .

And no , no , no , no , no , go ahead , because you're , you're right .

I cannot imagine and keely making that joke Like she was . She was mad at him and I think her thing about the do the avoiding the like is like not fuck you is probably the wrong freezing of it , because I don't think she means fuck you .

Yes , You're running away .

This is his using comedy to do exactly what he did when she came down to the locker room hey , you can't be here , get out of here . He doesn't want to reveal what's really going on around him and death , that's what's going on . So he's using humor , as some of us do , because we haven't necessarily developed all the skills we should .

Yeah , and her opening question was not playful . Her opening question was sincere and she wanted more information from him and he immediately went to jokey form , that's fine .

I think it went to his default , which was which was you're dead , you die Like . This is stupid . Why do people waste a lot of time with that ? I can't believe .

Okay . But number one , he didn't say that saying that is one thing , like I in my whole , like fling me from a Shrevegeshe , I don't care . What I mean is , my belief system is , once you die , the only thing that is important is how the people who are still alive feel about you . So I don't care what the fuck you do with my body .

Got it . Well , she walks away here . He says , oh , chair up , keely , it's a funeral , okay , so then everybody walks away and Danny walks in . We get a little trickly cutter . And what's happening here , coach ?

So Danny is continuing to have some issues with the new shoes , and I know Munchacho because , remember , they made for people like us . They made for sheep , they made for muggles , they made for twats . Wow , what a line . What so much in this line .

If it's not my favorite Ted Lasso line , it's way , way up .

So here is . I'd love to hear some of what we toss a couple things out there , toss a couple logs on this fire for you . So , because they ain't made for people like us , I think is a really slick way in a funny moment where you might not like shine a huge light on it . There's a Nuss , there's fully in us . He helps Danny off the bus .

Which is actually hysterical , because , yes , jamie , I understand that , from , however far away . It was that he made the what was that Like ?

I don't know . It certainly was a 17 carot .

However far away . That shot was a crazy shot .

You can do that crazy shot . You can't walk and choose that people wear to work every day .

That is a really solid point , Seriously Like yeah . Like so right , right right .

Like this is the whole Right .

Because they've . Yes , they don't know the difference . They're muggles .

Okay , but the muggle can walk to a funeral and not look like an asshole . Danny , I don't know .

No , no , no , no , no , no . You wouldn't have if you hadn't destroyed your feet . If you've given up and trained your feet to be destroyed , you wouldn't know any better . Of course you're like . This is what all muggles do . Of course you know .

Okay , but you say destroyed and I would say toughened .

And I don't think that one of those is better than the other , you and my dad , no , I don't know you and my dad .

Seriously , I had this conversation with my dad and he's like that's what you do , that's what you do . I said , dad , why do you , out of curiosity , why do you wear wing tips ? They suck , like they suck . He's like that's what a man does . Why do you wear a suit ? Because in business you wear a suit . Why , to make you a better business man .

No , no , no , no , no . Sorry , wait , because you're not understanding my underlying point here . I am not saying that suits or wing tips are smart . I do not wear high heels anymore . The highest heel I will wear is maybe like a one and a half inch boot , like I am not going to fuck around and do stupid things just because that is what everybody does .

I hear you .

I hear you .

Sorry I got it .

This is how I can't remember which rich motherfucker it was . Something happened , for whatever reason . Their limo maybe couldn't get to them in downtown Chicago because of a snowstorm or something . He was like I'm going to have to sleep in my office , how do I get home ? People are like you take the train or you could take the bus .

I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with you .

Well , a lot . In this case I'm not wrong .

I didn't think this was a shit argument .

Muggles , twats , shit , muggles twats . It wasn't like , oh , does the Hoi Ploi have an advantage ? It wasn't a competitive thing , it was who are these four Not ? And are they then superior by the fact that they can wear them and we can't ?

No , no , no , no .

But he's saying he's like they are not for us .

No , no , no , no , no . He is superior .

Yes , yes .

Jamie is saying that Jamie is superior .

I agree with him . No , and he is wrong , and so are you 100% agree . Listen , one of my favorite things that happened when I went to Hollywood and became a writer is I was like , oh , the dress code for writers is everybody wears sneakers . I was like this is the greatest thing .

We are talking about shoes . Yes , completely .

Yeah , you're making two different points . Yeah , sorry , good .

What I'm arguing is that wearing comfortable clothes is superior to wearing suits and uncomfortable shoes .

Yes , and that's fine .

Being comfortable is superior to being uncomfortable . I absolutely agree with you on that . What he what Jamie is saying is the people who wear the uncomfortable clothes are not like us . They are sheeple , they are muggles , they are twats .

His right foot was kissed by God . That's his secret .

That's his fucking secret . His fucking secret is that he has one advantage that makes it so that he gets to wear fucking play clothes to his job every goddamn day .

And you're telling me that that makes it . That's why he has that perspective , but he's not better than other people .

He's saying he's better than other people and he is not .

He's not saying I'm different , I have a different life experience . He's saying they are beneath us and because they are beneath us , they have to wear these things and they are used to wearing these things .

He is not saying I decided to give up the trappings of capitalism . I decided that I don't need people to pay me a lot of money or respect me or blah blah , whatever else .

He did not make this decision , you're saying those shoes suck , casselton .

what are you talking about ? We literally just talked about this a second ago . I literally tell to you sneakers are more comfortable and better swear than wingtips . But what he said is that these shoes are for shitty people that don't understand that they should be wearing good , comfortable shoes . That is the problem with this statement .

The way I took muggles was like the people who don't think about it . They don't know that there's magic in the world .

But with his relationship to them .

But also the muggles literally don't have the magical ability . Who are the twats ? It's not about thinking about it .

For example , sheep , muggles and twats are not all defining the same group , by the way , I was thinking about this , thinking , oh , I see who he's capturing with those three words . Who are the twats ? Muggles and sheep are . There's an overlap there . But who is he referring to when he's saying the twats ? Who are those guys ?

I can't even answer your question because you're so far away from the actual argument here that it doesn't make any sense to you Because he's saying who they are for .

Like , uncomfortable shoes are for , like dress shoes are for these sectors of society .

And does he think that he's better than those sectors of society ?

He doesn't have a . It's not a value . Obviously it is Fucking . Obviously it is . Do not lie to me on that bullshit .

Do not , absolutely do not , lie to me on that shit . Those are the people within the Harry Potter world that have no magical ability and cannot do shit .

They wouldn't know that , like the shoes that he wears , exist . That's the muggles part of it . The sheep are the people who never question anything , and the twats are the wealthy people , like lawyers and bankers , who wear those every day . It's different segments of society .

But see , you're okay with him saying he's better than the bankers .

I didn't see , I didn't hear him say he's better . I'm saying he's saying they're not close .

He's a compliment . He's a compliment If I showed up to your house and I was like , hey , how's it going ? You're a fucking twat . And it wasn't me . If it was somebody else , if Jamie came to your house and he was like , hey , you fucking twat , would you be like hey , I'm so glad to see you .

I'm probably the wrong person to ask . You're probably the wrong person to ask In my peer group . In my peer group I probably get called that .

Are any single one of the things that he said sheeple , muggles or twats ? Are any one of those have positive connotations ?

No , so so you're saying that means he is just saying we are superior to everybody else , that's it .

We are superior to everyone who does not wear these . Who wears these shoes ? Yes , these are not made for us . We are better than they are .

Okay , Got it All right . Listen , that's not how I read it . I thought it was really funny . I thought it was a . I thought it was a commentary on who is forced to wear terrible shoes .

Oh , I agree with that and I think and it made me laugh and I agree with boss I think part of what's built into the joke is we're better than these people . We've been reduced to having to wear these fucking shoes today . Whatever that's about .

But yes , we don't know what we're going to do .

We're special .

It's all three of them . It is all three of them .

Yeah , I think it's .

I don't think they're they exclude one another .

Sorry .

I understand that Jamie has done a little bit of work at this point , but do you think that he is so radically different from the person who , in the first episode , said coach why would I be want to be anybody else ? I'm me that he wouldn't assume himself to be better than the people , the assholes , who are stuck wearing those shoes every day ?

He is an icon and , and you know , danny says right after this when I get home , I will set them on fire and their memory will burn in hell . Yes , and that sounds great , okay , phenomenon , jesus , danny , jesus has no place in the conversation of these damn shoes .

I just want to toss in . I did laugh out loud . I recall it , the first time that I experienced Danny saying that last line there . And there's his delivery , like there's no wink , there's no . He sincerely is contemplating like the , the ills of man through the shoes , like he is really like why are we doing this to each other ? They ?

should be wiped out . They're a play .

Oh yeah , no , I agree , I was fine that doesn't make him superior .

That makes him empathetic .

He's like oh my God , these are horrible . You take care of the loss . This is how these people live . My God , you know what .

Danny is empathetic .

Danny is empathetic and Jamie is being superior .

Dr Fieldstone arrives , arrives at Ted's flat Wheels are biking that nice little boss . When you went to visit this area , did you go down that little ? Did you find that little ? Oh yeah .

Yeah , I got a picture of down that alley . Yeah , oh , you did .

Yeah , what's that ? Does that have a name that ?

alley , Not one that I noticed . I just kind of wandered around around the bar until I noticed it .

And it is in that area .

That's enrichment .

Pretty cool , it's very nice . And so she arrives there , door opens and up she goes and coach , will you walk us through this please ?

Brings up to the apartment . The apartment is extremely messy . Yeah , that was interesting , both as emotional state , but I think , as we've hypothesized about the ADHD of Ted Lasso , that struck me as on point and also reminded me of her apartment not necessarily being in the most shape for welcoming guests either . But anyway , ted , she comes in .

Yeah , no , I think you're right . I'm watching this .

I don't know why it's like okay , good , yes .

We're not cut to the church , back to the church . We have a , a shot where we're panning down from the ceiling over some like beautiful stained glass . You can feel the cinematographers go oh , we got to get that . I don't know how we're gonna get that glass , but we're gonna get that glass . And we catch beard and this little alcove .

Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , it's , it's , there's something there , but I haven't seen the movie in so many years . I need to rewatch it . I need to do a whole Colin Farrell retrospective and coach have you ?

not seen in Bruges . It looks like . No , no , you've not . Oh , my God , you're in for a tree . Okay , you were in for a tree . Yeah , you will love it . You personally ? Yeah , no , I'll check it out . Okay , I want to watch you watch it . Okay . So , boss , walk us through here .

We got , we get and Bruges are made for people like me , it's made for sheep , it's made for muggles no kidding , okay let's move on . Let's move . It's you know it's just .

if that were the case , it would just be commentary on who gets to watch it . Boss , go ahead , go ahead . What is ? What is beard doing ?

here Beard is saying I don't think I've ever been in a properly Anglican house of worship before . It makes me miss you . I wish you were here . I would like to point out that , because beard a Brennan hunt , but I'm going to also assume beard grew up as far north side Irish , he has only ever been in Catholic houses of worship .

I was raised that way , so I was raised Protestant , so that's one of the two I think I mentioned . I had to go to Greek Orthodox Church first and then Lutheran Church , which is Protestant , after every Sunday . Worked out well .

I can't remember if I mentioned I knew a guy who was his mom was Jewish and his dad was Irish and one year Passover and lent overlapped like the same week and I asked him how he handled that and he said I just gave up being Jewish for a lit .

You know it's funny , as you said , the setup of who his parents . I was like this feels like the beginning of a joke , but I didn't know you were actually going into a joke .

So I was where I was going .

Next is like oh , it sounds like a set up for a joke , sorry .

No , but honestly , when he , when I was like genuinely asking , I was like well shit , that's a lot of religion for that short of a period . He's like I don't know . I just that this is the thing with being two religions you can just drop one when you feel like it . Anyway , she says me to I love funerals . Is it an open casket ?

He is a very funny man . He's a hero there , but he regularly makes me cackle Like it's not every joke , but God , he hits some fucking hormones and make you go . That is funny , Anyway , moving on .

So it looks like when Beard is saying this to Jane Payne , she closes her eyes to imagine an open casket .

She transports herself almost . It looks like yeah .

Okay , so , yeah . So listen , they're simpatico . They both like open caskets

Beard zips away , and now we cut to a priest putting on his I want to say stole , but I may have made that up , I may have totally just decided I was going to call it that I'm going to be honest .

There's a proper term for it .

Yeah , I don't know , I don't know the name the neckwear area thing , I don't know the name , I can find it out .

The only one I know of those is a habit and that is because of the Sister Act movie , but that's like a nun habit , right ? Yeah , I don't any of the vestiges . I have no idea .

Yeah , yeah , so boss , we cut to Keely , Sorry I just looked it up and it is stole .

And the fourth grader , who likes gold stars in me , was not going to let that go by . Wow , bravo , chris .

I know the answer . I know the right answer . This is probably where I were best friends . I'm such a teacher's pet too .

Oh , I was ridiculous .

Wow , okay , who is Keely talking to here in this scene , boss ?

In this scene she is talking to Rebecca and she's talking about being in the confessional . When I was a kid , the only thing I liked about going to church was the confession . It was so freeing . I just sit there and admit the sickest shit inside my brain . Oh my God . One time I made the priest blush and barf at the same time .

Okay . So , and I actually , as we go into this , I want to share this particular piece , this for me , for all the conversation we've had about the patriarchy and this is about bad dads and what are we ?

This sequence does feel like it's sort of borrowed from a coming of age kind of movie or like a Stella Cotter group or like a transformational kind of like women's empowerment picture , right Like it's like this . It does have that vibe and it's easy to get on board with . I don't know why it's so .

I mean this is a space where women have been and are . I mean , if we look at the church and sort of a broad way I'm not sure that I know exactly , you know , think whatever , but generally in the church , in quotes , women have been in our silenced . You can't be in this role , you can't be in that role . I mean like these are things , these are real .

When I was a little kid in that in that I remember it's funny I was in the . The only little boys could work in the altar and I know terrible , but I remember the we had a priest with a Boston accent . They'd be like , hey the fat , I want you to work in the altar . And luckily it wasn't anything heinous or whatever .

Yeah , I mean even to start out with talking about confession , which I understand how it's advertised and I won't say that that's untrue . I would say that it also would lend itself to a great deal of carrying of shame , even though it's supposed to do the opposite , or at least you know you're supposed to be accchained .

I was actually a little bit surprised to hear Keely say that because , again , I was not a churchgoing younger kid . We were not a churchgoing family .

So you mean to tell me other women walk up . There's no ring of fire around the building .

Yes , no , I couldn't figure out . Is that a Midwestern thing ? Is it an American thing ?

I don't know , I love you All right . Well , I want to give this sort of party episode . It's proper dang court . I'm going to end there for today . We will pick it up . We'll pick it up later on the next episode . Coach , where do people find you ? If you want to find , they want to find you .

We alignalignpcom , so come on through . We got some good things brewing .

Boss , what about you ?

So my leftover Twitter account is still up and I've also updated my contact in my profile so you can find me on Twitter at Demily , underscore chambers . I am also on threads at I want to say it's Emily , chambers 31 . If you Google around , you should be able to find me also on blue sky , also at Demily chambers .

Thank you boss , Thank you everybody , Thank you for listening , Thank you for joining us as we go through the end of season two . Please support your local libraries in the written word and until next time we are .

Richmond till we make the piqui archie blush and barf Boom .

Die .

Didn't get that memo huh , I'm sure about where you're going with that you .

You , you , you , you , yeah , we love dead lasso .

Okay , welcome back everyone . Today we are exploring Ted lasso , season two , episode 10 . This is part five of our ongoing coverage . I have a host , coach Castle 10 . Welcome to our Ted lasso . Talk the Ted cast .

Welcome all .

Greyhound fans .

Welcome all you sinners from the Doltrac and all the AFC Richmond fans around the world .

It's the lasso way round the park with Coase , coase and Posh and we're going to start right in church , with Sassy walking into the door where Rebecca and Keely are being unacceptable boss , unacceptable , yeah .

And Sassy says I've been told to come in and ask you to lower your voices . Mm hmm , that's good . It is appropriate for Sassy to be the voice of reason , I think , boss .

Absolutely . That is the same as when I am supposed to be the voice of reason . Everything is going well .

And what does she say ? Pick it up from here , boss .

But also , I brought this and it holds up a bottle of wine . No , there was a slight part of me that thought one bottle of wine for three people . I guess maybe they are at a funeral . So that's , that's maybe the appropriate amount .

Well , I don't know if I want to keep going with this episode , but I don't understand .

I don't understand .

I don't get it . So Midwesterners drink is what you're saying .

Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah Is it because they live in a terrible place or Either they live in a terrible place or you live in the best place on earth . There is only one or the other Like . Either you are in Chicago , which is fucking amazing , milwaukee , also great . Detroit , kansas City despite some of the things I've heard on this podcast .

Well , Sassy walks in with a bottle of wine . She says she stole it from a little boy in a white robe .

Again just kicking the chair out from under the patriarchy , love it . Also a move we have seen from Sass before , because when we met Sassy she just stolen some champagne off of a cart in the hotel . So that's like her boobs . She's like I will snatch some booze and get the party started .

Yeah , and she , I guess , twists the top off the wine I'm guessing that's what it looks like , because she gets into it pretty quickly and I don't see a cork and then immediately puts it to her lips and takes a drink . Listen , for someone who's not that big of a drinker . I'm like God damn it .

Well , she tosses a cap over her shoulder . There's nothing about the way she opens it that says we're going to need that again , like that is yeah , we don't need that anymore you don't drink a whole bottle of wine , though , by yourself .

Though , do you Like right now , today ? I haven't yet today , but like one bottle you're like , oh , that's a bottle for me , like that's how you view , like a bottle , that'll be my bottle .

Could I drink a bottle of wine ?

Yes , I have a great story along these lines . Well , anyway , great to be . So you're going to hear it .

That's amazing . Yeah , no , I I maybe have told this story already , so stop me . If I haven't will cut it . But when I was in college I working at a catering company and we would need to pour glasses of wine to be passed at , like reception hours or whatever . As I'm pouring out all of the bottles of wine , I said to my supervisor her name was Cherie .

No , no , that's that's , that's , that's amazing , that's like written dialogue man , that's like wow I couldn't fucking believe it .

She was pregnant . I was like , well , all right , great job yeah .

Well , sassy puts a bottle of wine to her lips , takes the first swig and what does she say here , boss , oh my goodness , I thought you were laughing , are you okay ?

This is so good . I wasn't looking at you , I was looking at the screen . Oh my God .

Took a sip of wine , exactly To join sassy . Exactly , I was talking about the wine , oh my .

God of course , I got a little , a little stitch in my throat and immediately couldn't talk . Okay , sorry , let me take that again .

She's like what ? And what does Keeley say ? She goes what , she goes what , what ? And what does Keeley say ?

Skip to the part where she is , where she says she isn't , and Keeley starts listing all the reasons how the bullshit tax day after the day , the fact that I have not seen you outside of work for two weeks , and even though this is your father's funeral , you are glowing like a girl that just got properly plowed .

Wow , okay , again in my . I love this sequence for it's like fuck the patriarchy , energy , this . How often do we see women on screen talking like this about sex ? It ain't about does he love me or does he not love me . It ain't about whatever . It's about . Girl , I got some good right .

And so I will say that I felt I've , I don't , I don't , I don't , I don't know . I bossed you , okay , nitpicking , but the term plowing seems , seems very male , centric , seems from the gaze of the plow plow or the plow plow hand , rather than the gaze of the field , if that makes sense .

The field Wow .

I just never heard women say plowed as the verb , because they are . They are the .

No , but if you say well , there's , there is no good terminology for females , and I don't like to say females like that , but for women to engage in sex like you get fucked , guys get head , but that seems kind of different , like there's , there's all these different ways where it's like who's doing what to whom , instead of as it should be .

Yeah , the language is Keep everything to each other .

Yes , yes , but in absence of having good terms for all those things , I do feel that there has been sort of a reclaiming of a lot of these terms that instead of making it sound vulgar or dismissive to say that she's getting plowed , it's like oh no , no , no , he is doing it the right way .

I like the phrase you used about back blown out , because I'll never forget . When Black Panther came out there was a big fuss about Umbaku and the tweet I saw that laid me low , like I was like , oh shit , I need a nap . Was Umbaku can blow my Umbak out and I said God damn . I was like , well , this woman has made her so fucking clear .

When Twitter was good , it was actually pretty obvious because of the people that were tweeting not necessarily the people in charge . That's fine . That does kind of remind me of a tweet , only to find it .

That is such a great message . That's real talk too .

That's real talk . Matt Berry could hit raw . I love that . I sometimes think about it on a daily basis .

What is the origin of the term ? Blow your back out Like I'm it's not something I use . What is the no idea ?

I have no idea how slang happens or what it is supposed to imply . I don't even remember the first time I even heard it .

But yeah , I mean I'm familiar . Yeah , I have no idea either . I'm sure somebody out there's got a story .

But it's got to be something it's . I do remember one time as a Dave Matthews band concert , my older sister and I made friends with a couple sitting next to us and she clarified we are not dating , we are friends .

Well , all right .

All right , coach can't recover . It seems sounds painful , just sounds painful , like blowing someone's back out . Sounds injurious , it's fine , whatever . I don't know where it's from , but yes .

But also I wish it would go away .

No , no , no , it's fine , it's fine , it's fine .

That is the voice of a man who thinks it's fine .

It's fine , it's fine , it's fine .

No , it's fine , it's fine .

It's good , it's a good one . So Sassy is laughing here and continue here , prost , please , yes .

So they all laugh for a second before Rebecca says shit , which is very clearly an indication that she's been found out . Now I suspect that at this point , what she thinks is I'm going to acknowledge that I'm secretly dating somebody , but not who it is , of course .

Okay , I want I'm sorry because I do want to just toss in here that we're about to get further into the inappropriate right , Because now we were doing same generation , that's one level of discussing of the back being blown out . Now we're going to do another level of intergenerational sex talk . So back to boss .

Yes , yeah , there's . I think even in the freest of families , even I being the inappropriate aunt who makes too many jokes and says too many swear words , there are sometimes where I'm like , hey , I'm going to need you to put on some earmuffs For this one , this one is too much , this one only . I want to say to my sister yeah .

No , seriously , yeah , yeah . This one is fully 31 years old . I can't imagine discussing anybody born anybody's back out with I mean I don't need to have this conversation . Thank you , it's a lot .

It is a lot .

The vicar looks like he wanted to swear . Is everything all right ? Nora says and he responds yeah , we're just trying to figure out who Rebecca is shagging . And Deborah says oh , I know , and it's good , like just fully in it .

Boom , we are in . Yeah , mother .

And it's good , yep . And they all start screaming again and Sassy says that they should play 20 questions . Nora , actually .

Wait , is this a really kind thing that Deborah does by saying it's good , it feels like I don't know ? I was thinking about that . She could have taken another route , she could have had a judge , but she's the mom she could have said , oh , I just wish she was with somebody a little more her age .

That's not where I thought you were going . For me , what I liked about it was for a moment and I'm very curious , bosses , take on this for a moment it felt to me like it's just us girls and I mean that in the most like I don't mean girls , like I'm not calling them women , but just like that vibe of like .

No , no , no , no , no , no . I actually agree with everything you said . And , Castleton , I do agree that Deborah was being both kind and also fairly insightful in this specific instance , in that it had the newspapers found out that Rebecca and Sam were sleeping together .

That could be very bad , that could be an issue ?

Yes , but what Deborah understands about the relationship is for outsiders .

Inner workings Am I right , boom ?

Yes , yes , yes .

Yes , yes , I actually now I'm thinking about it . Maybe it wasn't as gracious as I'm giving Deborah credit for , because I was presupposing a mother's perspective on this and she doesn't see herself that way necessarily . You know , everyone has . She's like oh , you , really , you know whatever .

It's a positive judgment and also there's an extent to which it would be wildly uncomfortable if Rebecca was 16 and her mom was like , oh , great job , Sweet , Like you , really . You really picked that hot guy .

It's perfect in this situation , because the key to all rolling .

Yeah .

You know it's like and like looking Keeley's face , just her , her .

the fact that , first of all , somebody knows yeah , yeah , no , it's on now , that's all yeah yeah , yeah , they're gonna find out .

And Rebecca's like mother , you know like .

Well , and actually what I would say is that it is what I thought you were going to say about being kind is that Rebecca might feel like she couldn't necessarily tell everyone , without it being a thing Like if she had secretly pulled Keeley aside and be like hey , listen Sam and I are banging , then that might like that would put a different spin on it .

Well , it's a really glossed over some quality Right ? Yes , yeah .

Absolutely . I mean glossed over one part of it that I forgot I want to mention , which is when they corner Rebecca before Nora and never come in . She owns it and makes like a face and is like into it and , yes , she sort of gamifies the whole like fuck , like when she's like shit , and then she starts to really get into it .

I do not believe in the secret , but they did secret that shit .

That has manifested I love it . All right , take it away , boss .

So after Rebecca shouts mother , they start screaming again , which means that obviously Nora and Debra did a great job on their job . Nora says this is thrilling and they begin with the 20 questions . Sassy says is he tall ? And Rebecca says yes , and Keely says is it Sam ? And Rebecca shouts how the fuck did you know that ? And she didn't .

They all started screaming Explode , explode .

So , good .

Okay , I want to talk about this from a craft direction for a second . And then you know there's so many levels to this because I just really love this you could have had a bunch of .

Well , yes , absolutely . I think from a technical perspective we need to just get there so that we could have everybody on the same page , everybody knowing . But also there is a tiny bit of .

No now I see that I got it right Interesting .

It is really fun when you my favorite one was . I remember being at a party in LA . I have a friend who's she's a director , unbelievable talented director , and I remember she's very , very private , like very private , about her personal life .

By the way , as far as directing and so much of the technical stuff is phenomenal . Shooting this through a doorway was such a great choice because it's a peek out as much , as we're sort of peeking in and back there and we're not with the priest nor with these mourners , we're like you know what I mean , like we are with you know .

Yeah , it's very good . So , coach , walk us through

Right . So we say , excuse himself . The priest comes in , yells , that's it , everyone out except immediate friends and family . Rebecca tells , tells Keely , you're so bad , that's is , you know . Just beside herself , she makes a face at her like , oh , like , oh you , I can't believe you .

I did genuinely like the boss ass bitch . Really that line should not that . That would be a little too . You go girl for me , Right .

I shouldn't love it Right .

Except there was a time in college I was hanging out with a friend of mine and his girlfriend and somehow it came up , like I sort of like slightly mentioned that I had made out with a guy that we knew and his girlfriend , who I wasn't super close with but liked a lot , said nothing , leaned over high five means that back and I was like , yes , all right ,

I love that .

Casual high five yes .

I also thought it was cool because the context in which we'd heard that phrase from her before was all the stuff with , like the other owner , you know the other team owner , and blah , blah , blah and the the spot , the air , air .

Emery , the sponsor air Dubai , sorry , Dubai .

And I thought , for you know , everyone looks at , everyone looks at Rupert with his you know , many young women , but his latest young woman who's like ? Oh , look at Mr Veral . And I thought there was something cool about saying that we can choose to view Rebecca in this way .

It's a nice . It's a nice scene . There's a lot of a lot of emotion and it's a nice release with all the pressure that Rebecca is under . As soon as we get through that moment , we're back to the pressure cooker of Ted's flat . He is sitting here talking to Dr Sharon . She says Ted , it's not surprising that you had a panic attack .

Nope , nope , nope . I didn't go to my dad's funeral .

Yeah , he didn't do it . He did not go to his dad's funeral . Dr Sharon says why not ? He says because he quit . You know he quit on his family quit on himself and he says he hated him for that .

Now go ahead . Go ahead , because there's a ton of here .

Go . I want to stop the podcast because we have been dreading getting to some of us , namely , I've been dreading getting to some of us .

I'm ready because I wore it as best as underwear , just in case to make sure that I'm safe here . Here we go .

So , boss , famously , for those of you who listen to the podcast or if you're new to it boss famously has two dead dads , correct , and both of whom , I believe , took their own lives .

Boss , no , no , no , no , sorry . My dad , dad number one , my actual dad , he did die by suicide . My stepdad , who I liked significantly less , he actually died of a drug overdose , so like kind of suicide by a long direction .

Yeah , yeah .

No , the long way around .

So we , the reason I've been it's always good to have an expert on panel but the reason that , the reason that I've been hesitant to get to this point , is because boss has very specific and experienced feelings about this . Let me go through and say , boss , I'm going to give you the floor .

Hold on , because I think there are a couple of things here , and I think it actually does . It will matter also because I am very much wanting to have that conversation . I think boss does have some amazing insight , obvious insight . The quit thing is so significant . It is what he said when he finally let go of the family he'd constructed to .

The validation of his feelings . Yeah , that is important to validate that . It's okay that he feels how he feels . So we have two things going on here and I want to blast through this . I want to get through the language so that we can have the space for boss to talk , and I don't want to have to go back and do the other stuff . So we go back to the .

Right , that would be the first time Sassy right .

And then he seemed and choked , cried , Ted says , back to Rebecca , and he came running after me in his dressing gown begging me to stop . But I just cut to Ted , ran upstairs , called 911 , went to the fridge , grabbed one of his Coors lights , drank that .

We'll talk about that .

We'll talk about that . Then I called my mom at work and let her know she needed to come .

We're going to talk about all this . I know . I know , keep going , keep going .

I know , he said nothing about it and that is why I'm so fucking angry . Okay , it's why I always hated him and I still hate him . I know says Ted , no , you don't know how I feel . We're staying now in with Rebecca and Ted . Ted says I know . No , you don't know how I feel . Rebecca says I mean , I know about his cheating .

Yeah , she smiles . Probably could have been Sorry , good .

Yeah , probably could have been a bit , a little bit better listening box at times . What did you love about it ? Dr Stone said why , well , you told me what you hate about him . I'd love to hear something you remember that made you feel good .

Yeah , no , this one got me too .

I ended up getting an A . He was a coach . Should we take it from here ?

Yeah , he was a good dad and I don't think he knew that . I think he would be a jerk . I think if he would have known how good he was at stuff he didn't really care about being good at , I don't think he would have done what he , and I wish I would have told him . I wish I would have told him more .

Yeah . She says thank you , ted . Ted says I don't know if this is illegal or something , but can I have a hug ? I love that he gives it . She said yeah , and she gives him a hug . He says are you going to charge me for this session ? She says of course I have for the house call . He says I appreciate your integrity . She says you're welcome .

All right , I mean there's more of the Rebecca and Debra .

No , we're going to do . It's a separate thing for these especially . Listen . We can talk about the choice to intercut , whether that was a good choice . We can talk from a tactical perspective about whether or not this works or whether or not it aided the story or it was a good mechanism .

So , oh man , probably you guys should have had me read all that , because I definitely would have gotten least choked up , partly because of who we are as people . I understand where they're coming from in this scene . I understand what they were trying to accomplish .

Like that's not right .

Because the first thing that Ted says is he quit . He quit on his family , he quit on himself and I hate him for that . I understand why Ted Lasso the person , especially because once he hit 16 , he never again processed through his dad's death . I understand why he would feel that way . But Ted Lasso is the protagonist of the story . He's the new man .

To many people that would be a normal response Like oh he quit . I think that's a very common yes , just can you just enlighten us about why that's ?

It's fine that Ted Lasso , the character , thought that we needed to see Dr Sharon step in and say like hey , ted , I know that you're mad and we can talk . We can do all the therapy that you need to do to process through your anger towards him . But framing it this way is hurtful , unhelpful to your dad . It's sorry .

How should it be framed ?

Actually , that's a really great question and one of the things that I am . There are a lot of times where I think that this scene wasn't for me . This scene is not , the rom-com episode is not for me , the Christmas episode is not for me , that's fine . I am willing to like say that didn't hit right for me , but for other people that's okay .

But didn't the scene be for you more than any other scene ? Yes , like this scene should be for , and what would have made would have made this hit the right way for you .

I needed them to do their research . This is this is a time where it is not that the writers did something and I didn't love it . It is that the writers took on a challenge and failed .

They needed to do a lot more work here , so I'm , I'm I don't know what to call it , because I'm certainly not disagreeing , because I am absolutely agreeing that you have a level of insight here that I just you guys can hear fundamentally win , so right . So I'm just out of the gate .

So a couple of things , one of which is , I think , if ever there were , I think you're right in saying that this is not the sum total , that this is part of the process . What I think is that , because of the fact that we don't discuss suicide that much , and because the show wanted to tackle that , if there were ever a time for PSA , it is now .

Got you what you do , is you put out ?

all of the information , because there might be people watching who have never lost someone to suicide that thinks , oh well , they're angry because that guy quit . And even if they think , well , he might have been a good guy , he might have been a good dad , he might have done all these other things , that doesn't negate the fact that they believe he quit .

Yeah , like that's . Yeah , I guess you know it's interesting . Well , first of all I want to thank you because , like , no , seriously , I think , one . You know the generosity of sharing that . And then also you have , you have a truly , I mean as as specific and experience to speak to this as is possible .

Well , thank you , I also very much appreciate that and also it just I'd like that

Yeah , but seriously states apart .

Like it's pretty , it's pretty similar it's . If they needed a consultant , I could have submitted a resume , but that's beside the point . I would also like to point out , just because it did fucking bother me they have a football consultant credited on this episode .

That's what you've always conveyed to me , bosses . You said , listen , they shouldn't have this isn't the right show for this . It's like a bad choice , like if they weren't going to go the whole way with it . Yes , I really wish they had given him a different sort of hang up .

Yeah , and just very quickly to say I think castles or no .

Yeah .

If we had significantly better health care and mental health care system , that might improve it , but me checking in on you , unfortunately no , it doesn't do it . The other thing is that they are talking about a very specific relationship with a death by suicide .

Yes .

Yes that , yeah that , because that isn't even I've already mentioned before , but I was like me , who did lose her dad's to suicide , said I didn't want to hear that he wasn't in his right mind , because if I were important enough to him I should have put him in his right mind before he did anything .

Yes , then I'm aware of that . I'm not , I haven't experienced that I know no but like .

I didn't know , I didn't know .

This is not something I talk about very often and I'll actually tell you why in a second . And I was crying . I was on out on our you know porch where I lived up until age five when my parents got divorced and my parents had just had a fight .

Yeah , and I completely understand that . I think that that would have been . This would have been a really great scene to start discussing what Ted needs to do in order to process that stuff . But if this is all that we get , then this , we needed more than this . We needed the show to step in and say more than because we so

There's going to wear a way to phrase it , but you mean a successful . Successful suicide attempt .

Yes , a successful suicide attempt and then a movie that , like enough people know that when I say Right , I was like hey , so if you guys seem shameless , because that's a well , that it's going to give you some insight into my Like , just anything . So one of my favorites is that people often say ordinary people , but that's not true . But there's no suicide .

No , it's not , it's funny because I thought of ordinary people and I was like , yeah , that's why I asked , that's why I asked my clarifying question .

Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , no . So I feel like Film on Louise . Not the aftermath . Not dealing with the aftermath , dealing with the . There are . There are a lot of movies .

There's like a powering kind of the act , but not the not .

Yes , they also do have a number of especially Japanese films that are like the artist struggles with life , and I'm sure that those are wonderful . That's not what I'm talking about . When I was Googling to see like movies if , I was like I must be missing something , there must be something out there .

I think I brought a everybody knows that to the party that didn't really belong like I shouldn't say didn't belong there , but it was certainly that impacted my experience of it and I think you're right to say no , everybody doesn't know that .

That's . That's the part that kills me . Oh God , we're going to get to an episode where all three of us choke up a little bit , and this is going to be somebody mark this where I'm going to try to get through this without crying , because , god knows , I hate talking about feelings and , even more than that , I hate sharing , actually displaying them .

And I think it was an easier way to frame it . So , because I don't like the quitting thing , but the way that people view it is like oh , life is hard , and the people like give up , quit or whatever . You know that that's that's , but that's not the . It's clearly not like the correct framing .

it's the illness one today .

Yeah it's still a contentious thing or a fight based thing or something . You know what I mean . It's like a struggle and maybe , like the framing should be around struggle or you know the continued , maybe it's a burden instead of .

I guess there's a value judgment and because I want to be mindful and so I'm going to , actually I'll just say this to start and then we can go . So I feel like I could trip over words here and say not precise as precisely as I would like , what I mean .

Yeah , and I say that

The number of times I've ended up with somebody who either represented an employer or who was the employer saying to me , yeah , we probably should not do this anymore , is almost exactly equal to the number of times that , well before that , I went . Jesus Christ , what have I fucking got myself into ?

You know what I'm saying ?

I am saying like yeah , I had a client is not the exact same thing , but I think you'll get why . I thought of her and she reached out to me because she was a colleague in the first place . And then she reached out to me she had she'd had cancer and had gone through chemo and some stuff .

Yeah , no , absolutely yeah . I think that what you're touching on is number one . We have extremely different perspectives when it is a physical ailment or a physical limitation , versus what we qualify as a mental limitation or mental ailment . My older sister and I both have done a lot of work . She's done more than me .

Oh , you start real trouble now because now we're . Now we're talking about mortality , we're talking about embracing death . I mean we are in a country where people are seriously , have had their heads amputated at death so they could be frozen because , hey , you never know . So I mean we are pretty goddamn far from society being good about saying I'm ready .

Like that is .

I want to say Germany . I could be off .

No , but yes , I think that it is that compulsion . Not yeah , no , I'm going to go with compulsion . It's a compulsion on society's part to say live every single day , for regardless of the quality or regardless of like , whether you want to be like .

No one who came up with the tribuché situation is fucking around , that's just so .

I'm not , I'm not fucking around , no Like . And by the time I'm 80 , my like , the people my age will probably have passed on or will be close to it , and I will like explain to my niblings we're going to go hang out and I'm and that , and then I'm ready and like .

Now , in the context of the overall episode , maybe the series , but let's talk about the episode for a second . I think a lot of this episode is around showing up for people , how people do and don't show up for one another , and there's some stuff that's coming up later in the episode .

I would feel abandoned .

I imagine everybody could get why one would feel abandoned . I guess my question is how , what's your take on how to process that piece or like , because it does feel ? I mean , it feels like that . I remember I actually remember specifically thinking , looking down into my kid's crib for those who don't know this through all the hours .

Well , that is because it is very messy and I would like to touch on it . I think I'll probably come back to this more than a few times over the rest of our conversation on this .

But the real answer is .

The answer is that , because you are interpreting it for yourself , you think you did something that made them leave , and the order of events is they left so you felt like you were worth leaving . So you just need to like . It's just . It's . I fucking spent 18 months .

That's hard , that's hard , that's hard .

Oh yeah , it's fucking wild . It's goddamn wild . How hard that shit is . Jesus Christ , if anybody needs a therapist , just hit me up , I will give you a name .

Well , thank you both for that conversation . It's been a long time coming . It really is helpful to get that insight . We all are trying to better ourselves and it's one of those things where it's such a tricky situation .

Yeah , for sure that's important .

And now I'm going to close it back up for this decade . There you go .

That's it Check . Well , I wanted to say earlier , when we were going through this , the intercutting scenes , I said , oh , we're going to deal with this , this , the TED part of it , and I didn't want to suggest that the Rebecca part of it and her trauma . But I don't want to sound like , oh , the man's issue is more important .

Yeah , I'd just like to tell us , as we do deal with the Rebecca piece , I do think there's value in talking about the series , but just , I think it's generally sort of an interesting storytelling choice they made around these intertwining things around them having happened on the same date .

Yeah , well , we'll pick it up right there with our next episode . We will make sure to refresh everyone's memory about the intercutting so that it's not unintentionally diminished . I'm desperate to say something funny , but it's just a little super heavy . No , no , I'm just not . I just desperately want to lighten the mood a little bit , but it's tough .

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Richmond till we are ready .

Thank you , I couldn't find it .

You found it yeah .

I was wondering . I was wondering what you're going to do on this . No , that's not funny . I was like no , that's not going to die right now .

Yeah , you found it nicely done .

Thanks , and until we're ready .