GS4H........Here Comes The Boom!!!!

Come on , come on . Ready Tone buried him on the front lawn , put up a tombstone . I seen Bambi that's my nickname for bamboo . She like what up ? Tone , how you can we speak ? I got some explaining to do . See , your absence made me forget who you are and I love you . For you , I need a second chance . Boo , I said it's all good .

What we do in life echoes in eternity . See you next time , yuck .

Yuck , one of those yuck days .

Are you okay ? Is this a sunglass episode ? Am I fucking mic on ? Yeah , your mic's on . Sorry , it's loud . Is this a sunglass episode ? Yeah , it mic'd on .

Yeah , your mic's on . Sorry , it's loud .

Is this a sunglass episode ?

Yeah , it seems that way . You got yours , I got some for you .

No , I'm all right , come on .

No , I'm good .

I've got clear ones in the bag .

Are you going to be cunty ? Tonight this is how we're going to start .

Yeah , I'd have to go get some .

You want my broken ?

ones .

Well , no , not if he's not going to do it . Oh , this is a peer pressure thing .

Yeah , Like I would have conformed to the group you know like I mean , is this a bad time to tell everyone I put roofies in the bourbon ?

Thank God I don't drink , I'm driving .

Are we allowed you get in the captain's chair .

The four o'clock across doesn't look bad . No , not at all . It fits nicely .

Ladies and gentlemen , welcome to the Take a Deep Show . Episode something , something , something , something , something , something in the triple digits .

Yeah , we're at home , 12 , 14 , 19 .

We'll get around to airing that 100th episode one of these days . No , no , it's the lost episode .

No , that can't even . That'll never , ever go on . You have to pay .

No , you know what , on OnlyFans You've got to subscribe to see episode 100 . I want you to play it at my funeral Episode 100 . That is like pissing on your grave if we did that as opposed to what anyone else is going to do anyway .

Do you think somebody is going to do something worse than pissing on your grave ?

It's distinctly possible .

What's worse than that , though , is John the first guest since the incident . Oh , yes , yes , yes , I think he is . Yes , he is .

Ladies and gentlemen , we have a very , very , very special guest today . He's not a one percenter , he does not ride with the angels . Nobody thought that , nope .

You're not going to Colorado , nope Chicago .

Nope , and the only reason that he was allowed is because he doesn't drink .

Yes , and , like white girl , wasted .

Oh , was that the incident ? Yeah , are we going to hear about the incident ? Because now I want to know .

Well , can we do your intro song ?

Yeah .

I think it's fitting , because you're what's up , Coach G . Yeah , I think it's fitting . What's up Coach G . From the last time I saw you to now , it was like you growing up in Sons of Anarchy .

Bubba Joe , what's up ?

That's the best way to describe it .

He's a young Thomas Teller .

It's very close . Like you have . No , from the last time I saw him to now , yeah , never . Wasn't driving a motorcycle , didn't have the tattoos . Nope , nope . When was the last time you saw him ? Last week ? Shit dude . When did you ? When did you leave for Carolina ?

Eight years ago when ?

Where in Carolina ?

Rowley .

Okay .

Yep Lived down there for a while and uh .

So he listened to this song Down there , and now we got this , this guy .

This guy .

This guy yeah .

It's Johnny Boom right here . Johnny Boom , johnny Boom .

Wow , using him up quick man .

He used three up quick last time and he was very good timing on the last one . But Johnny boom Love it , love it . Speaking of Roofied . Are you allowed to tell that story ? No , you're not allowed to tell that story .

Well , you fucking brought it up . Now you gotta tell it , I know , now you gotta tell it , I'm not telling that story Some things in life .

Don't get on me , but this is such a .

When you fucking brought it up . Now you gotta tell it . I'm not telling that story . Some things in life don't get on me , but this is such a they usually do in some

shape or form , it's legendary .

It's still fresh we can have Bernie's .

We keep out of record .

That's only because we're not sure of the statue .

We can talk about Seif Dover , which we won't , just the Jeffrey .

Epstein of car sales . Here we go .

What are we three minutes in ?

Yeah , we come out swinging . Did Jim ride in the pilot in Jeffrey Epstein's hot pilot ? Jim is probably like Bill Clinton who took the pilot .

Maybe that's a really bad comparison . I'm not going to compare Jimmy like that . Uh , jim , jim is probably like Jimmy's probably like Bill Bill Clinton . He could be Maybe that's really bad comparison . I'm not going to compare Jimmy like that .

Yeah , no , don't do that , Don't do that I just did though .

I know you did but no , it's John used to . I used to work with Johnny at Honda . He was our , he was our , he was a young fucking kid . And now he comes back and he's .

Left an ex-wife and got a bunch of tattoos .

Oh , were you in charge of a lot of lizards ? No , mr Despacito was Well , we all know how that turned out . Yeah , he had to flee to Mexico , he's not allowed back at the dealership , Mr Despacito . He's officially not allowed back , like he's blackballed yeah .

Why he's officially not allowed back Like he's blackballed . Yeah , why , I don't know he just he got told to leave one day . By who , mike ?

Yeah , mj , yeah MJ .

Yeah , so he's not allowed back , can't be within 200 years of his school .

Yeah well , that'll get you .

Well , I mean , nobody wants to be around an English guy who's always angry . Nah he , you bloody cunt . You bloody cunt .

Oh , that would fucking irk the shit out of me .

Yeah , everything he says to you sounds like he's just .

Hello governor , Did anyone ever tell him they lost the fucking war .

I don't know Like I'm not the toughest dude out there , but I feel like anybody with that voice I could kick the crap out of . I almost want to take a white glove and just slap him in the face Like that voice you're like what ?

I threatened him so many times when I was working . I was like you ever get in my face like that again . I was like I don't care if you're my If you had to threaten him more than once he didn't listen to you . No , no , or I didn't listen to him , which was mostly the part you know .

That's fucking aggravating . Why Fucking accent talking shit ?

I worked with a dude that didn't have an accent and we shamed him .

He wouldn't even come out with us anymore .

What's crazy is you take him off that lot . He's the nicest dude in the world . Nicest dude in the world yeah .

You bring him to .

Honda and you're just like I'm going to set him and his family on fire . That's a real dick . Then no , because he was very , I would say , giving outside of Honda .

How about this ? Let's get him a red jacket . We'll let him run through the fucking run through the used car line . We'll shoot at him with paintballs .

I love that idea .

You just smack him with tea bags .

How many alpacas can we rent to ?

have him run in Ride the alpacas and shoot them with a paintball gun .

I'll never fucking see it coming .

I was thinking about him running underneath the alpacas Wow .

Like you put honey on the alpaca's balls and he's got to run through . Yeah , first off , it's an alpaca attack , it's an alpaca , you know know , one of those brushless car washes , but you're doing it with ball sacks .

Yeah , wow , come on . Sometimes people deserve that honey on the ball .

I don't know , I don't know why I came up with that . It was the first fucking thing .

I have a feeling there's a fantasy in there somewhere for pat yeah , I was gonna say that sounds pretty suspect , so you know a lot about that huh , johnny , tell us us what's been going on .

man , why are you back from Carolina ? I mean , you could say whatever you want .

Yeah , no , I needed to change . I was working for a cigar company . Which cigar company ? Monte Cristo , Romeo H Utman , Should I ?

H Farbean . So johnny blew the surprise earlier and he's a guy , you know . He gave me something . I'm like , oh no , no , I was like , save this for the fucking show , the guys will love it .

So , johnny , if you want to , yeah , hand out your special gifts gift packs oh no in the front you got a couple cigars , then inside you got an ashtray Meanwhile .

I know you motherfuckers are like , oh , this is going to be a prank , you got Kevin . Oh no , thank you .

You have .

I'm sorry , Ben , If you're watching right now . You have just fell down a few rungs .

And I figured you guys needed something else for in here , so I brought the Monte Cristo ashtray for you guys to put out somewhere , dude .

Oh wow , look at you , man , wow .

Alright , just take it out . I'm gonna give you the left .

I'm good man , I'm covered .

Matt listen . No , he's good , He'll walk right under the table and just suck you off , he could reach the bottom of the table . Suck you off . No , that's okay . His head won't hit the bottom of the table . I brought shit for later .

Yeah , you got cutters too . Oh , these are fucking fantastic . These are great fucking strokes .

What Johnny got us was it's a . I don't know if I'm going to wear the satchel , open it up .

Yeah , look , you got other stuff in here too .

If I'm going to wear the satchel like Alan did in .

This is a cutter .

That's a heavy cutter .

And then this is a Monty Ashtray . It's like a little car , one that you can put in your cup holder .

That's fucking awesome . The only gift Ben gave us .

Thank you so much .

The only gift Ben gave us was a show of White Girl Wasted .

The only thing I got was late to work . I can't explain that shit .

And you got this changed man to my right who him and I used to have so much fucking fun . Oh , that's fucking awesome At Honda and dude . I can't even thank you enough . This is a fucking awesome gift . Absolutely Thanks for having me , dude . This is fucking great bro .

Are you just back visiting , or are you like back up here now ?

No , yeah , I live here now . I live here full time . I wish I was an alcoholic .

Well , I am , I could use two .

I know you do that . That's fucking sweet dude , yeah , man .

Dude , thank you so much . That's fucking wild .

And then I brought these . This is what I .

These are cigars . This is what I want the podcast to be like . Like we can fucking meet people who do this shit .

So this is my buddy , jeff Amendola . He's a guy from up here New York .

More , you got more .

This is how I got my start in the cigar industry , so I want to bring these for you guys to smoke . These are called the West Side Story . He's got two in here , so one's got a Brazilian rapper . Two One's a jet , One's a shark . One's got a Mexican rapper on there . Oh wow , A Mexican rapper . Yeah , that's his newest one .

Those are nice yeah so we can smoke some of those later Bro this fucking cutter , yeah , that cutter's outlandish it's got some weight fucking great . I got such an excitement boner right now .

Are you still working , you buddy ? I didn't ask you that earlier Is that something you were like , did you search for ?

something like that up in the area . Did you see the ashtray ?

The big one , no , the little one . That's incredible , man , this is awesome .

Wow , you are more than fucking welcome on the show Anytime .

Ben will never , ever come here or ever sit in your seat so we got two bad interviews in Canada and an exit stage right . And I don't know how to use my AirPods .

I love you , ben Ben , we do love you , but we love John more now .

He's got to bribe him more . Now he's gotta bribe him . I can't be had , but I can be bought .

I'm totally bought Like . This is fucking Dude , that's fucking ridiculous Wow .

Yeah , I tried to stay in the industry , but 75% tax on tobacco in New York Makes that a little tough for territories . 75% tax and they're .

New York makes that a little tough for territories . I covered 75% tax .

And they're trying to pass 95% up here . If you can believe that , I don't doubt anything in New York .

Most of our cigars were . You have to suck somebody off for a pack of smokes .

Yeah , you know , a $20 cigar is a normal price for a cigar these days . So now up here it's $35 for the same cigar you pay half for .

This is fucking awesome dude .

Yeah , yeah , it's really cool , man . Thanks so much .

Yeah , no problem . Yeah , I wanted to bring something .

I got so much merch left over from you got any like humidors .

No , no , I wish , I wish I still have all my stuff down there in storage . I got to bring back all my cigar stuff . I only have half of it .

How much stuff you got fucking down there . Oh my God .

I've got a 10 by 10 storage unit full to the top . Wow , two bedroom apartment down there . I haven't brought back Kind of a last minute decision to come home .

And unfortunately you can't sell that because we would promote I mean , hey , we're featured and sponsored by Monte Cristo , yeah , I wish . And .

John Boom , johnny Boom , sponsored by John Boom oh dude , show them the photo .

When I saw this photo , when you put it on Facebook like your first cigar flyers yeah , I look at him and I was like Tony Soprano , wait till you see it .

Yeah , my buddy Jeff , the one that has those cigars that I just gave you guys . They called me Big Time , johnny , and then I just ran with it and we put on the suit and that was it .

Then I started making flyers for it .

Oh , fuck yeah , dude , dude . I swear to God when I saw it .

Who's the fucking ?

guy Dude . You have no idea , like when I saw it , who's ? Oh , who's the fucking guy Dude . You have no idea , like when I saw that , like how proud I was of you , Not fucking Arturo , I'm like this motherfucker .

You look just like One of those fucking dudes . I can't think of the guy's name .

This motherfucker Big time fucking cigar guy .

Big time , tommy .

Big time Johnny Boom , johnny Boom , johnny Boom , jay Boom On we go , there , we go , boom yeah . Why don't you call Boom Cigars ?

My wife is going to love this .

Yeah , that's what I was thinking . I'm like I don't know if I wear satchels , it's a satchel . Yeah , it's a satchel . I could do the awkward . I have no problem . I have no problem doing the awkward moment and putting weird shit in there and having it on my front and reaching in and pulling out .

You got like a baby Bjorn and you got fucking .

Vaseline in it . So you put the bag on your chest , yeah , and put Vaseline in .

Inside of it , purposely , purposely , and just reach your finger and you come out and be like so do you like the surprise factor ?

Is it like a smell thing ?

No , I just like . Okay , I like making awkward moments .

So you Okay , you can only . I love that fucking t-shirt , though it fucking .

It's fucked oh .

I thoroughly .

So many of them hate that word . No dude .

I thoroughly .

Double take's , not even a word . I thoroughly enjoy walking past women shopping at ShopRite and I'm walking around with a t-shirt right in the middle that says moist .

And then you make eye contact with them . You just awkward contact .

What's up ? You ever lick your lips a little bit Squirt bottle like this yeah , hit him with it how you doing .

Give the old double eyebrow raise .

I get enough on my face and I just shake off , even though I don't have hair . What is wrong with this ?

guy Only to the mom wearing sweatpants on laundry day .

Ball guy shaking his head like it's Fabio Somebody call security on this guy .

He's a freak .

Is that Cypher Dover .

That's who that is . Dude that's like no joke . When I saw that , I was honestly very proud of you Because you were young when you moved down there and got married and I'm like this motherfucker's balling .

How old were you when you moved down and got married ?

I moved down at 22 , married and had a house by 25 . Okay , and then shortly after , that was the end of that .

Shortly after . Let me guess who's still living in the house .

No , no , no . We sold it . Split it Amen . Good for you .

Yeah , it's all good now you got out easy .

No , kids , no , no kids . I lost the dog .

That sucks . Can't gong for that I was going to gong for no kids Lost the dog Gong .

No , no , no , I didn't .

My ball's in the jar Gone Bronson , she's bronson them . That's like Sonny with his balls . Sonny hasn't had balls since 1963 . Camille , she fucking , she has meat pounced those ball sacks several times .

Can you , you know what ? Can you call Tom Oster , before it gets too late ?

Sure Wish him a happy birthday , not a problem . Oh , it's his birthday . It's his birthday . You know he's not going to answer my phone , it's Gunner's birthday too .

Who's Gunner , which also means it's Finn's bye-bye day .

Why did you just fucking ruin everything ? Sorry , man , we're on such a high . This guy's all about the facts .

This fucking guy's fucking Thanks . You can act like a man . What the hell would ?

you do . That was dismal . You didn't have to go , you're like oh and Finn's goodbye day .

I'm totally fine .

Doesn't bother me at all .

I just wanted to bring it up . That's all I'll stop . Oh my God .

Birthday and a I'll stop . Oh my God . Birthday and a good-bye day on the same day . God , you guys have no idea .

I don't even know where to go from there .

I'm so sad .

That's terrible . Take a look at the epics around you Tissues .

Call up Tommy , see how his shmeet's doing . It's the only way to break this mood .

Kevin , if you pray to God , maybe you can have a feedback . I didn't mean it like that . I'm so sorry . I really did not mean it like that . No , you know , when you say something , you're like I should have thought about that before I said it . It just came out and I apologize . How did you mean it ? Um , we don't have to talk about it , okay .

I would have killed all the rest of them . That was the best one . I would have killed all the rest of them . That was the best one .

We're still in the process of doing that .

I'm still okay with that . Nothing that fucking hurt out . He's my dog .

Okay , he liked me too . All right , he did like you , he understood you , he did .

Let the boy watch .

Watch Finn Watch oh come on All right Now .

Finn used to watch .

Oster .

Oh yeah , tommy , Let Finn watch .

That's the worst , that's the worst .

Hey boy , hey boy . Dude , I got four dogs . Sometimes they're watching bro . Yeah , that's true , hey boy , hey boy .

Dude got four dogs . Sometimes they're watching bro yeah , that's true . Have you seen how they follow her around ?

Put a mask on you , jesus , actually you know what ?

Can you guys get goggles ? How do you even perform like that ?

Scout , you gonna put some Sniffing your ass . They're usually watching from a distance Scout .

Get ready , Get your goggles on . Get your goggles on , Scout . They're like voyeurs .

Scout licked a bad place again . That was good .

I bet you , the way she sniffs , she's probably right under the ball sack .

Wow , it's moist in here .

No dog has ever come close .

You open the door . I don't want to hear your shit now .

I'm just saying no dog has ever come close to interfering .

Oh , for God's sake , please call Tom , just please All right , let's call Tom they may stop it from starting , but they've never interfered the person you're trying to reach is not available .

Oh , he knew , Straight to voicemail .

When you have finished recording , you may hang up . How are ?

you going to ?

play it . Happy birthday to you . Happy birthday to you . Happy birthday dear Tommy-o .

Oh , oh , oh , oh oh oh , Happy , happy happy birthday , Chew chew .

Chew juice .

Happy birthday , Tommy O .

All right , I hope you're swinging dick around .

Hit her with the shmeet .

She's probably dead right now .

No , no , all right , I'm going're swinging dick around , hit her with the shmeet . She's probably dead right now . No , no , all right , I'm going to hang up now , tom .

It's a pleasure . But happy birthday , Hope you're doing well . Maybe you can call us back . Write the voicemail . You prick . You're definitely on a Friday night . He knew that was coming At 9 o'clock , straight to voicemail . She's definitely got you tied up , but we love you hope the bump plug isn't best of luck . Remember . Your safe word is snorkel .

I said snorkel , god damn it oh my god , she's coming down to swap me six fucking feet long all right , it's moist so is the end of the okay I honestly world not the world in there , here we go no , it's from everything that's been going on .

Dude , Do you ever see the chick who wrote Terminator actually also wrote the Matrix , and the Matrix is the future of the Terminator . Did you know ?

that you mean the Wachowski brothers .

No , some black chick .

Why's she got to be a black chick ?

She's the one who wrote the .

Why can't you just say some chick , what does it matter ? Not the movie guys , the books .

I understand Not that I'm a reader man .

Fucking , talking down to me Like I never read a book .

I can read it says Adidas Alvin Mack .

The program 1993 Nice .

That was actually a great movie . The first time you see it , and now you watch it , you're like this is so gay .

Nah , it still holds water . Man , it's a good movie . Man , I would have fucking punched .

Joe Cain's face . It's a good nostalgic watch .

Joe Cain was that asshole friend . You're like what the fuck is he doing here ? I thought we didn't tell him we were coming , Like that guy .

What was Darnell Jefferson ? That's Omar Epps . Right yeah , in real life he would have taken his fucking schlong out and beat him around the head and neck with it . What the fuck ? Wow , that's strong , it's strong .

I've been assaulted by BBC .

Sorry .

That's a browser's channel .

I'm having flashbacks of the . Anaconda in the seventh grade .

Wrong stream , you guys got to subscribe Matty anytime .

I'm like that . I'm like no . It reminds me of the seventh grade when I was on stage with the Anaconda . No , no .

No , I won't go back . No , I don't want that .

I don't like this . No , I don't want that . I don't like this . Nah , it was a good movie , but Joe Cain was a douche bro . He was Driving the fucking motorcycle Little fucking feeble-minded bitch .

What movie is ?

this the Program . You're definitely too young for that .

Oh yeah , You're definitely too young for that how old are you 28 .

28 ? Yeah .

Yeah , you're a young buck , johnny .

Yeah , jesus Christ . What year were you ?

born 97 yeah he Fuck a movie was four years 95 .

Fuck , a movie was out three years . Junior year in high school .

Yep , yeah , I was very moist back then .

Okay , you had hair back then .

Yeah , I had beautiful hair , I did .

I don't know about beautiful . It was beautiful , it was luscious . I kept it nice , it was luscious .

I kept it nice . It was luscious , you know , but you have a full head , don't you ? I do . I really hate that . You think it's because of his short stature .

I don't think that's what does it .

I think so . If you're lower to the ground , you have more hair .

No , I think it's if you wear hats a lot .

I think it has to do with the hereditary gene . Yeah , it's a gene that you have From your mother's father . Well , I break that stereotype also , and I'm my brother's keeper .

You got to look at your mother's father . I never met my mother's father .

My mother's father had the three-hair comb-over my mother's father had the Montgomery .

Burns Yep .

Nice , my mother's father had the yarmulke which I .

I told you I'd get you one of those . If you want to cover that up , I got a guy . We can go down to Argentina with Jim and we can have someone staple it to your head , can ?

you make a yarmulke Out of Monte Crisco .

Monte what .

Monte Cristo .

You said Monte Crisco .

It's like the one thing that irks you . Sorry , you want to hear something Is that a sandwich , did I .

It's like the one thing that irks you , sorry .

You hungry or ?

something no .

Sandwich .

Sorry , right , what ? What happened ? I don't know . You're talking about food and shit .

I don't even remember . I sure am hungry .

Fucking guys .

I was making a grilled cheese sandwich . Earlier I was going to jump over to counter All right Dude .

I offered hungry Fucking guys I was making a grilled cheese sandwich earlier . I was going to jump over the counter .

All right , dude , I offered , man I offered , I wasn't going to make you make me a fucking grilled cheese sandwich .

Suck your dick for a piece of toast . What $10 million .

Wow , $10 million , yeah , expensive piece . $10 million , bro , expensive piece of toast here .

Get over that shit real quick .

It just sounds so dirty when you say it , it's just so bad .

You'll forget everything after this .

Okay , this will be the last thing you'll be thinking about .

This will never remain in the back of your brain .

Like my nut , like no more ice pops , that's fine .

Takes me back . No more ice pops , no more bananas .

No , no , no , it's more of the ice pop . What kind of ice pop are you eating ? Think about it .

What kind of ice pops are you eating ? Are you talking about the ? You're talking about rocket pops . Yes , the red , white and blue ones . The rigid .

Atom Pops the rigid , the twins , the ribbed , the Rocket Pops for her pleasure .

What about the ghetto shop right twins ? Remember the ones you had to break ? Yeah , and they always fucking broke .

And one side would be fucking bigger than the other and this piece would fall off Because you broke too much of it . Yeah , that was great times growing up as a kid man .

You were the youngest brother . You always got the short side , the flavor ices dude you used to eat 600 of those a day , but you were only left with oranges , because you know Tommy and Phil were getting all the oranges .

Yeah , I was getting thrown the fucking peels Grape .

Tasted like cough medicine . Remember that the dime tap ? I wouldn't go that far . You graped it . Grape what ? The flavor ice .

No .

You know , yes , tasted like dime tap . You ever have dime tap , of course . I did we grew up on dime tap . Man man , I'll snort your dime .

tap Grape sugar grape , you know , freshman year in high school you're trying much time tap .

You could drink , yeah , like I was uh , like which way , like right there right there , right there , the long way like that just just like that okay all right , we're gonna just like this .

I can't I can't unsee that I can't unsee what you just did .

All right , come on .

All right , here we go three minutes to do something else .

All right , here we go .

You guys kept on going on with it .

Jesus God . So the more and more I see it .

Tom Schmidt , I can't get it out of my head .

Sorry , nightmares Billy Joel .

Big shot . Oh my God , oh my God , we my gosh .

Oh my gosh . We could put glitter in the .

Monte Cristo bag for him . So we said what was his stage name . We came up with what was it .

I forget the name .

That was a bunch of episodes .

So we said , like Tom , who has the big shmeet , if he ever became a stripper he would have like glitter bags , a fanny pack of glitter , yeah as he comes out on stage yeah , just launch the glitter while big shot from Billy Joel's playing . You're not buying it .

I don't know that song , oh my god , you guys are gonna deal with this , this fucking guy what kind of music you like ?

Obviously the fucking Teletubbies .

He's fucking 18 years old . He's got a like no , no , no .

Serious question Like what's your , what's your genre ? All the rap music , yeah , stuff like that Wu-Tang .

Okay .

Alright .

You know this , you know this song .

Respect .

What the fuck is that ? It sounds good . I don't know this song . No , you totally got it .

It sounds good . There we go . It's a long intro . There it is .

Throwing glitter , swing , swing and shmeet , swing and shmeet this .

Throwing on Like gold sequined bikini brief and it's just like you know .

With a cowboy hat on .

Yeah , cowboy hat .

Leather chaps A white cowboy hat .

Gotta be a white cowboy hat .

This has turned into the Tommy Oster birthday spectacular .

With like brown cow stripe or something .

Oh , no yeah .

Like a schmied stripe . Not too much , though Not too much . You want a lot of white , yeah , like a schmied stripe . Not too much , though Not too much . You want a lot of white , yeah .

You know yeah .

That'd be fucking great . He's gonna be like Hulk Hogan tan right , we're gonna stick him in the bed for a bit .

The abnormal tan where you notice like oh yeah , you definitely just got spray tan where they're orange and he's just like glowing a different color , almost like a amber rosin , right .

There's no color differentiable between ladies and gentlemen , between nipple and skin .

We have tiptoe Tommy on the main stage . Tiptoe Tommy .

Tiptoe Tommy .

All right , oh boy , main stage tiptoe time . All right , here he is in a billy joel big shot with casey casen . Uh , anyhow , um . So I think the world , or the united states , is ultimately coming to um a boil and it's a powder keg that is going to explode .

Did you say crab boil I ?

don't think so I said powder keg .

I was hungry .

Make it more fun if it was a crab boil .

That's a good idea , Matthew . We should throw that idea on them .

Right in their faces . Crab boil Siphed over bro , siphed fucking over .

See you there , bro .

That fucking guy's gonna be there for the crab bake or whatever the fuck .

With a chick on a leash as he's peeing on her .

Yeah , with the pole start With a little tail , with a little record tail .

Yank .

You're talking about a butt plug , pull Whoa , whoa .

How do we go from cramp boy to butt plug ? It's gonna be a hell of a meltdown , butt plug pull start Like she's a wind up toy .

Yeah , I'm gonna pull these eight beads out , yeah .

Get on the weather tech , you're going to get moving .

On the weather tech Sit yeah .

I need more water . Sweet baby Jesus , Wow man .

I could just imagine , dude , it's oh my God , creeper creeper . It's amazing . I'm oh my God , creeper , creeper , it's amazing , I'm the only one not drinking . Anyway . So now I'm seeing like CNN going against Kamala Harris . A reporter just came out and said that you know he combed all of her videos .

This and that and whatnot of . Oh wait a minute .

Is that , could it be ? Could it be ? It's the phone . It was right here Under the balls .

Oh , no what .

Welcome to the Take a Deep Show . Hello , hello , how much you love me . Mickey , hello what are you doing ?

I'm in shy town right now oh no , he's a jug of wine in , get him him off the phone .

What do you mean you're in Chi-town ?

I'm in Chicago .

Our worst guess . What are you doing in Chicago ?

Yankee Cub game . Fuck yeah , yankee .

Cub game .

All right , just got done at the steakhouse .

And we're figuring out what's going to go on from here . I'm echoing like crazy .

No , I got you there going to go on from here . I'm echoing like crazy .

No , I got you there you go , I'm going to Notre Dame tomorrow .

You're going to Notre Dame tomorrow .

Yeah , last minute , trip Last minute .

What are you doing ? Yeah , what are you doing .

Yeah , I'm a snake , I'm a snake , I'm a snake . Guess who we have in studio with us tonight .

Wait , is this live ?

This is live , you idiot . What's up , Jimmy ? You're on the air . Hey , buddy .

Jim , so you brought your family to Chicago to see a game at Wrigley Field . That's nice of you , so gay .

Oh , it's this guy I met at the friary here oh .

Oh shit , scott .

He's here . He doesn't want to go on the Take a Deep show .

Tell Scottie what's up man .

He said hello .

He said hello , hello .

Did he say hello , Jim ? Did he really say hello ? I don't know if you can understand what he said , Jim .

No , it's all good , I thought you guys did this on Sunday nights .

No , it's Saturdays , but I had plans for tomorrow . But you want to know who our special guest is . Oh , he used to do the lot for us at Honda , you're a retard .

Bro , it was like 10 years ago . John Tremaine , okay , he does remember , he does remember .

His name is Johnny Boom , though we're going to call him so .

Tremaine is on there , we're here , though we're going to call him .

So Tameen is on there . Yeah , we're here , brother .

Is he a snake , A slithery snake dude ? All right , Well listen .

No , I don't want to listen . Awesome man go fuck yourself Jimbo sucks .

Jimbo sucks . I hope you fall down a flight of stairs .

I support you , jim , hope you hang . Jimbo sucks , jimbo sucks , jimbo sucks . I support you .

Jim , hope you hang yourself in the ivy Jesus .

He hung up . He sounds like a fucking Like he's a two year old .

Yeah , he was old enough to know to hang up .

I'm sure it was by accident . No , that was a good move .

Hanging up was a good move there .

Yeah , did you hear how Betty was slurring his words ? The rest of the night's going to be interesting .

That's the way he talks in real life .

Oh no , there's going to be a police incident tonight . There's going to be something in real life . Oh no , there's going to be a police incident tonight . There's going to be something .

Why does your mic sound weird ? I don't know . Does it sound weird ?

It does . I feel like mine sounded weird before I got to be right up on this shit . Sounds fine now .

Mine sounds weird If I'm over here . You just got to get up in there . I think Pat's trying to silence me . No talk now . Did you shut my mic off there ?

you go , there we go . That's better . What about me ? Like that sounds okay , but like you sound fine . There you go . What about ?

over here . No , you got to be in front of it .

Yeah , you got to get in there . You got to be like fucking , you got to get in there .

La la , la , la , la , there we go .

Just get in there mic again . Why is it doing that ? I don't know , pat , I'm not working .

Oh , I hear you now .

I'm not working the board ? No , there's no . Everything is the same as it's always been Fucking Biden , fucking Biden . That's who did it . I wonder if it's because of his , because Johnny's a condenser mic . That's why I think Maybe that's what you're getting , but yours Whatever .

Shouldn't ? Hey , listen , fuck me anyway . Who cares ? Nobody cares , nobody cares .

Oh , you got one left . Buddy , you got one left . How's that ?

Matty .

Hey Kathy , how are you ?

Why is it fucking ? This is out . Yeah it Matty . Hey Kathy , how are you why ?

is it fucking ? His is out . Yeah , it sounds like you're in a closet .

Yeah , I'm in an echo .

I got an echo thing going here , I think you gotta get closer .

I can't get any closer , wow , okay .

I feel like mine's super loud and I'm all the way over here .

We are not good with technical things .

There it is it turned down Johnny's volume because it was kicking back from the back of it .

I'll pull this over here and hopefully it gets better why did you just cut out though ?

no , because he was funny . I'm just going to stay here for the rest of the show .

Just suck the balls , bro get in there on the shaft . I'm thinking easy .

Dude get his real name . No , take your time . Two hands , I'm so off-heard .

I'm new here .

You've got to get his real name .

I can't believe . I just saw that that was awful like you gotta get his real name .

God , you look so comfortable doing it .

I'm just saying it just bothered me the most was the eyebrow raise when he did it you know I didn't make eye contact with anyone .

Can you look at me ? That's what counts . Look at me when you do it . No , come on , look right at me , please . Don't what counts . Look at me when you do it .

No , come on , look right at me .

Don't ever do it , please don't Anyway this world's coming to an end , I feel there's going to be what's up , jimmy Lynch . There's going to be civil war come election time .

Sorry , I got excited . That was good timing . I figured we needed a little bit of Morocco , whatever the hell that is .

Tambourine sorry .

Yep , I know my engine .

Pat said you were going to play the recorder as well .

I have a harmonic I can tear up .

Oh yeah , Do you really ? No , That'd be crazy . Harmonica tambourine , cowbell and gong .

What gets better than that ?

That'd be really good . Play a pretty good cowbell .

It's pretty fucking close to a band .

If I wouldn't get yelled at , I'd hit the gong one more time .

I thought you had one .

I got one left I gotta save it . Yeah , you gotta save it for something big . What are you gonna save it ?

You got one left . Yeah , you got to save it for something big . What are you going to save it for ?

We'll see . Let's move on with the whole Civil War conversation , anyway , yours keeps on cutting out .

It's really starting to piss me off now .

Yeah , I hear you Just keep going . Civil War , dude Just keep going .

So Kevin scares me every night and just says weird things .

Does he go into TikTok K-hole ?

No , I'm like where'd you find it or where did you see this ? It was online . But his shit that he keeps track of the solar flares Yep , I don't know if anybody else has this . He has an earthquake app .

I do . Yeah , you can never be too prepared . Why ? Just for like general interest , man , like no real concern , just you know , just want to know , you know .

If the earth starts shaking , he'll know where it's at .

If this room's a and don't come a knocking .

That's what they say that's what they say .

You want to know the latest on an earthquake , Adam .

Oh , have you gotten an alert recently ?

Well , I mean , I get every earthquake around the globe .

All right , who wants a cookie ? Did you say buukkake ?

Cookie .

You know who had a 4.8 in Tonga not too long ago , like two hours ago , uh-huh .

Yeah , that'll get you .

Man , that's a 5.1 in Guatemala .

Hey , michelle , how are you ? Guatemala I see your husband left you and went to Chicago gallivanting again . Ran like lunchtime today . Hey , michelle , how are you ? I'm in Guatemala . I see your husband left you and went to Chicago gallivanting again Like lunchtime today .

That's weird .

Okay , random .

Nothing big , anywhere , weird .

I bet you if you see a big earthquake .

Where's our fan base building up recently ? Patrick Subscribers oh .

Vietnam .

Any earthquakes in Nam .

Wherever Tommy O is tiptoe .

Tommy's at . There's going to be an earthquake as he's tiptoeing .

With glitter allegedly .

And Kristen's holding a ball . Sack , boom , there goes the dynamite .

There goes the boom . Boom Boom there goes the dynamite , there goes the boom Boom , wow yeah .

Anyway . So we're going to die from solar flares . I'm starting to believe that aliens aren't really aliens from outer space . They're From Arizona , like falling angels .

There's a really good argument . You're going like there's a good argument . That's deep , joel Osteen , on me right now , bro .

What's going ?

on here .

It's a deep conversation . That's all I know . When I saw that , I'm like , I can believe that .

You know , like you're thinking , like the revelations , like the fucking apocalypse , the four horsemen .

They come from different dimensions .

And all our listeners left no you don't think so .

I mean it's . It's definitely far-fetched . It's a possibility , you know .

I'm just saying why do they keep on crashing their fucking UFOs ? And uh , who says it's ?

aliens and UFOs .

That's what I'm saying .

It's just planes that we don't see yet , area 51 stuff , you know .

I know , I know .

You know some stuff about it . I like this guy .

Yeah , you know some CIA shit .

Sorry , I got excited again .

If you want to pull that fucker right off the back of there and go to town , go get it .

Nibble on it a little yeah dude you , You're sitting there .

I'm going to put this here .

You got to own it , man , in case I get excited . He's got a gong , I got a cowbell , you got the tambourine , you're on tambourine tonight Perfect .

Do you think that there's going to be a militia come election time ?

If the vote goes the wrong way . I do , I really hope so , I think . Whichever , way .

Why do you hope that ?

Yeah because I think we're at the point where we need the fucking , we need a reset , we need a purge , a cleansing .

In .

Washington , like the quote unquote Washington . Yes , pat , we need a purge .

It wasn't designed for people to get rich . It was designed to be the voice of the people . Hello .

Can you imagine hearing shit like this , kevin ?

This is not a test .

This is Alexa .

Announcing the commencement of the annual purge Sanctioned by the US government .

You motherfuckers , better run and lower have been authorized for use during the purge . I have my mask . You think that's going to happen . I have my mask , I have my weapon of choice and I'm waiting to let us to release us .

I got my N95 and a suction cup dildo . I'm ready to go .

I don't think that's going to happen .

That's a different kind of purge .

But , I do think there needs to be a removal of whatever shape form it comes from , of what's going on there ?

That's the problem . There's a higher power than what's in government .

We'll see , we'll see , man , you know , oh you don't think these fucking idiots that are in there now are calling the shots . They're all getting their fucking strings pulled . Are you kidding me ?

Yeah , Joe Biden doesn't even know where he is . He just hopes he gets ice cream .

He hasn't known where he's been for the last 15 years .

I honestly don't think he's alive . There's a clear choice Come on man .

Clear choice . That's the thing . What's crazy is there's people who are like , oh , Kamala Harris is going to win .

A lot of people , at least , that's what the media says I mean Biden won last time . I know that Apparently anybody can win .

Hey Dave , I'm just wondering where are they in their right mind to think that what she's done ? Have you heard her speak ? Yeah , she sounds like a cackling hen Actually almost like ack , ack , ack , ack . The fucking .

Ack , ack is more intelligent than what she says .

Yes , Every time she's done talking , I feel like I'm watching the fucking Billy Madison fucking . Speech at the end Speech when he's like . The puppy that lost his way , and may God have mercy on your soul .

Everyone is now dumber for hearing what you said . You're awarded no points , and may God have mercy on your soul .

Every time she opens her fucking mouth . Come on , man , To make a noise anyway . Apparently she's good at fucking opening her mouth .

Why we got to , here we go , oh , why we got it , here we go here we go , here we go facial fry the ladder you know , facial fry they climb the ladder we have .

Uh , you know , I'll get down on your knees , you're okay come on her harris dude , she was she was montel williams trophy bitch man .

Come on , come on , come on , like she's , come on , she's the president and she's running for president and she was montel williams . Trophy bitch like wake up people , wake up white people . That's not what I said , oh I just like the way it sounded .

That's not what I said white people .

Huh , it's a , it's a movie quote . Right , you're quoting a movie , yeah , um I'm You're quoting a movie . Yeah , I'm trying to remember what movie , though Just trying to give context .

No , it's in a movie , maybe it's not . I'm confused . Now we're all going to die , so that's my conclusion .

I don't think so .

Why .

Yeah , we're not all going to die . Yeah , we're not all going to die .

First of all , we already know what you're doing .

You're going into backyards and take me , Elizabeth . Take me now .

I'm sacrificing myself . That's not accurate at all . That's one .

You said you would purposely fall into lava .

Can we go back and play the fucking tape ? I'm sure we have that on record .

This is like one reference to the movie . This Is the End , where I would be like if that shit happened , I'd be like fuck it man , just like .

Oh no , there was more than one .

Yeah , there was more than one , like dude if a nuclear bomb landed in like fucking Brewster , yeah , I'd be like fucking , take me .

You're not going to have time to say , take me .

Yeah , brewster's close enough , you're bent over already .

We don't got to give it Just a second All right , I'm ready .

That's it . A nuclear bomb hits Brewster . That's relatively quick . We're incinerated , we're all going I mean I would have no questions .

I believe we're in the blast radius , unless we're in the basement bunker studio .

Just like facial Fridays . Get away from the blast radius . You know , maybe it's Speaking of dirty bombs . Hello , we're back to Kamana Harris . It's such a great porn name , kamana Harris .

You guys should release that shirt . I gotta fucking patent that right away .

Yes , you do Make the shirts and put that out when you put out episode one and just have , like a salesman through the fucking roof and just have like a sticky gooey droplet , like like from her chin .

Like it was glazed .

And then underneath it , just like there's that .

There's that drooling emoji . You know it's got those little bit from the corner .

Try to get it yeah moist in November .

Vote moist in November .

Vote moist . My supporters are moist . I love it . I get the moistest followers .

This is the best thing ever , by the way , Orbs .

It's high ingenuity right there .

Now I don't know . Okay , I played the audio for you guys earlier about the CIA operative who's supposedly releasing all these documents Jason Bourne , jesus Christ , if you hear what is happening .

I have heard this guy's dead , is he not ? No ?

No , not yet . Here's the thing You're never going to hear about it . There's no news that's going to fucking publicize it .

He's Snowden 2.0 .

I got one word for you .

He's living it up in I don't know somewhere in Europe right now .

Joe , joe , what's up ? I got one word for you , diddy . When's the last time you heard about Diddy ?

Oh yeah , that was a cover-up .

He had a bad picture of him on the internet recently .

How bad was it ? Was Meek Mill behind ?

him . He was all disheveled .

Was he ashy ?

Ashy to classy .

Ashy Diddy .

Yeah .

Ashy Diddy's getting his assy . Diddy , do you look like Pookie yeah ?

You got that Vaseline with the coconut .

You got some crack .

You got some blow . Yeah , he's got one of them backpacks you got , he's got one of those . Oh yeah , just random .

Vaseline and a satchel . Him and Meek Mill walking around with the fucking satchels .

He was holding Meek Mill . That was not consensual . He was holding him down . That video was horrible .

It wasn't even a video .

It was a sound clip . Oh , the sound clip is fucking ridiculous .

I was disgusted by that . He's like help me , help me .

It's like blazing sounds he did not say help me .

He did not say help me . It sounded like Rocky punching meat in the freezer ?

No , is that too much ? Is it punching meat when Rocky was punching the raw meat ? That's what it sounded like . I know what you're saying . Yeah , well , I mean shmeets . Galore , diddy and Meek . Can't waste the last one . No , all right , galore , diddy and Meek .

Can't waste the last one , not on Diddy .

So my thing is this I think there's a , there's a bigger Power behind everything . It totally , it's Everything's forced on us Just to Get in line . It's everything's forced on us just to get in line and do whatever we need to do for whatever fucking party and shit so who's the puppet master ? Who owns BlackRock ?

Deep State some .

Rothschild . It's the elite of elites I , I believe who do run the world .

I don't disagree with that .

They have their hands in everything . They influence any which way they can , because they can do it .

Joe Mattio , you're elite . Are you in that group ? You run the world . I would love to do that .

Yeah , if they could just send me a 20 .

Preferably rolled up .

I just need a 12 .

Can I ?

get that 20 leased in Keef .

Yeah , we're going to do it .

Thank you . We're going to smoke it like the elite does .

Yeah , I need a 20 and a pre-roll Chop cheese .

Come on , come on , come on on , come on Chopped cheese .

Shit , by the way , pat , that's a sound bite . That's a sound bite now .

Sifed over in his Chopped cheese Shit , motherfucker . No , it's , and Regardless . You know you . You were born , raised like this . You had the American dream Right . The American dream Was buying a house , having a , a family dog , white picket fence . You can't do that .

You can't even have a white picket fence anymore . The .

American dream is debt . The only reason I did it was because it was in 2020 .

This is true . You know , it is the elitist of elitist run the world . You have the middle class who work for what they earn and pay taxes so you can't survive Just enough , so you're not the poor . And the reason why the poor is there . Because the middle class gets scared , because they don't want to be poor , so they work harder .

They work just hard enough to not be there . Yeah .

You work harder and you don't benefit from . George Carlin said that man .

Years ago . Fucking years ago . 20 years ago .

George Carlin was decades ahead of his time .

You know , and you sit there and you look at it . It is true , you are going to work the rest of your life . Regardless of what you fucking do , you may retire . But are you going to retire comfortably ? Probably not , you still . You have a ton of people who retire .

That's how they get you .

That's what nobody warns you about . Osteoids .

I'm not prepared .

I have no idea what the fuck to do if that happens ?

There's no way , you can't prepare for it , it just happens .

Not hemorrhoids , but osteoids . Can you imagine that Tom Schmidt flying ?

around like osteoids . That's incredible . Oh my God , that was fucking great dude .

Happy birthday , Tom . Yeah , happy birthday there , osteoids .

Well , you can say that's two things Tom's dicks flying through the air , or Tom on roids , osteoids .

I mean either way , whichever way you want to go with .

I think , I think you pick something , and one of them is like a bonus round .

One of them is true . One of them is a bonus .

I get to see that . You know it's like for free .

It's Tom on roids , but like after like 10 levels , it's like yeah , you know , he looks like a dick .

you know , like after like 10 levels it's like yeah , no he looks like a dick , you know , but he looks like .

He looks like mickey roark from the wrestler . Yes , yes , yes the ram , tommy the ram oh , my god , oh his finishing move is the asteroid .

Don't , do it , don't do it .

His shmeet's wrapped around his elbow and he comes fucking down on it . It's the asteroid . Oh my god , the asteroid's coming in , but he pulls the rat back .

Oh no .

No .

No , sorry , too much coming in , but he pulls the rat back , oh no . No Sorry too much .

That's the docking asteroid .

Five down to four .

Oh my God , this poor guy's getting cooked on his birthday . Listen , he's one of the funniest motherfuckers in the world Best , One of the best , and if he watches this listen I didn't sing to you like that for you . I love you .

I'll sing to you like that for your birthday .

So I'm just saying I love you . I'll sing that on your birthday every year .

Happy Schmeet Day to you . That's a different song for a different time . Do you think that ? Are we going to be like a fucking Great Depression ? Are we ? Are we going ? Is there going to be like a fucking Great depression ? Are we ? No , not like it ?

was . I don't think it could ever be .

Like it was , but Pat actually sent something when it said if Kamala Harris Is losing that bad In the polls , They'll market 50 points . What's going to happen is they're going to start cutting the interest rate and fucking shoot the fucking market through the roof .

Well , they said it was plus 50 points , and this is what plus 50 points does , and it'll turn the whole election and because of that , since she's currently in office , if that does happen , she's going to end up winning the election . So you know you know what ?

he ? He here's , here's the question . I mean forget , forget this , forget this election . Right , you got him who just can't keep his fucking mouth shut . If he fucking kept his fucking mouth shut but it's great though he'd probably have like a fucking 70 point lead on her . Okay , but he just fucking turns everybody off . Who's the next Republican candidate ?

Well , like they haven't had one since Trump won the election .

Well , that's what I'm saying .

That's the problem with the party is that they never put someone forward after he lost . You know , it was just always .

Yes , but who's next , and are they going to be viable ?

I don't know , but we got a lot of new Republicans man .

A lot of switchers .

It seems like it . I don't know if they've officially switched , but you got Tulsi Gabbard . She's cute , she is . I vote for her , for her cuteness . So is that congresswoman from fucking South Carolina ? Have you seen her ? Why are you whispering ? Oh my God , Because nobody . Have you seen her ? Why are you whispering ?

I would volunteer to be her chair . Let's pretend I turned down the volume . Let's talk , let me . I'd love to be her mountain bike seat oh .

What you guys got paper towels .

Hey Trace what's ?

up ? Why Are you sweating like a gerbil in a gay bar , bro ?

I'm sweating , yeah , whatever you just said that's exactly what I did . Yeah , I've never heard that one , but yeah , fucking A .

Why would a gerbil be sweating in a gay bar ? I don't understand .

Oh , this is , this is . I don't understand Dude . Check her out , let me see . Oh , yeah , she was the one who was cursing . I like her Because she's Her vulgar . Yeah , that , she's fucking hot dude .

Yeah .

She's a dirty . She's a dirty talker , dirty girl .

She's hot dude , yeah , and she's .

Hands over here . Okay , yeah , come on .

Check it out , I feel like , as soon as you see her , you're gonna be . Oh , yeah , her . Oh yeah , yup , yup , yup , yeah . Oh , yeah , baby .

I love you , governor .

Hello governor . Yeah , it's me Bobby , yeah .

Not to mention , she falls right in line With everything I Fucking believe in , you know . So she'll never win . She's into satanic worship .

No dude what was that she's into satanic terrible worship Dude .

I went to therapy for that and I'm over it . You're not over anything . I'm in control of my destiny . Now , man , you know , use the now man . I'm in control , bitch , you know Use the force , Luke .

Yeah , use the force . Speaking of force , why don't you bend over for me , Kevin ?

I thought Star Wars references were off the books .

I think that's the first one since that show .

Let me show you my lightsaber .

That's a bad guy right there , dude . Imagine having that guy on your shoulder . Darth Vader isn't dealing with a red lightsaber , so's Gunner .

Mine's blue .

Sorry For a lot of , for a lot of reasons , reset I feel , I feel bad so we'll cheer him up .

Forecast is ready .

Yeah .

That was actual footage of Kevin's birthday .

Dude , we can put that up as a short on the fucking YouTube .

We certainly could .

Because your body gesture when you do it .

There's still video of it too , right ? It's like forever record . Oh my God , no presidency for me ?

No , he likes to do the stroking motions . I say when you forecast rain .

I'm still waiting until I get a call from corporate being like do you participate in a podcast ?

No , I heard something about facial Fridays . No , I don't Is that real ?

No , I heard something about facial Fridays . No , I don't . Is that real ? Yeah , is that a ?

real thing . Yeah , is there a ring of thunders in there ? Okay , I mean , are we ? I don't know , man , I really don't know .

It's very peculiar times . Something's going to happen , it's just yeah . Yeah , it's edgy .

Sometimes Something's going to happen .

It's , just it's edgy Like sometimes , I think we're not going to make it to election day .

You know what not for nothing , Are you ?

thinking Bruce Willis and Denzel Washington .

Yeah something bad happens , like the siege .

You know , like some sort of like , do you think martial law ?

I actually . Can we let the young man speak a little bit ? I'm curious to see what his take on all this shit is being different generation and much probably not as jaded as us three old fucks .

Yeah , I mean , I think history repeats itself , so Continue , please indulge . I mean , the people are going to have to stand up eventually , feel free to talk into that .

Oh yeah , Talk into the mic .

Talk the balls . I think people got to do something about this problem eventually , because if we just keep going like this , it's going to get worse and worse . We can't afford anything . We can't afford groceries , we can't afford gas . We can't afford to live .

But what's the target problem ? What is it ?

Too much government . Yeah , there's too much control of anything . We're getting taxed on money that we've already paid tax on , and then we were taxed on it before that and taxed on it again . Then we save up our whole life for , and then yeah , and then they just keep raising it . Did you say hot to it ?

I hot to it Right on , right on . Yeah , you're getting , you're getting hot to it all fucking day .

I don't like how famous that girl got . Why .

Yeah , but why not , man ? I don't know .

Come on , it's one thing to get famous .

But then she's like the new hot Hooters chick .

Yeah , but it was 15 minutes and if you listen to , 15 seconds of her talking you're like your brain is melting .

But she threw out a pitch .

Yeah , at the Mets game . And then listen . You saw what happened that day .

She knocked two of it on the ball this bitch was working at a spring factory Spit balls , spring factory and this was her claim to fame . God bless her . Sell a couple hats . Sell a couple t-shirts . Don't pitch out at a Mets game . No one watches that shit anyway .

Because what I'm going to do is next time I randomly Is interviewed on video , I'm going to come up with something for the shocker . You know , two in the pink , one in the stink . We're going to come up for something you guys don't know . Fucking shocker dude . Bam , boom , boom , boom . That's it . Viral video . Viral video .

Yeah , but like you're not cute .

I'm throwing shocker change-ups at opening day . Boom For who Fucking Long Island Ducks ? Come on , dude , that's big time . Did you say ? Long Duck Dong Sound like a girl's softball team , no it's .

What is that Just like amateur ?

Independent , independent Major league players play there , old washed up major league players , racist ones , john Rocker . John Rocker played with them , probably the most racist .

I wonder how he'd like taking a six train out to Long Island . He was actually .

Did you ever see that fucking thing he put out when he was talking about being on the subway ? John Rocker , oh yeah .

Oh yeah .

And he played in New York that night and he beat him Fuck the Mets .

But he used words that were generally accepted at that time , jeter Okay .

I don't think it was Accepted . To be honest with you .

Well , it's not like today . I mean he didn't say faggot oh .

Well , he was close to it .

Yes , but that's what I'm saying . He's not bringing the words back . You say queer .

You should totally be able to say faggot man .

And retard .

Yes .

Come on , come on , retards , where can we ?

start a petition to bring these words back Special Olympics .

What's that movie with Johnny Knoxville ?

The Ringer .

When the fuck do we get ice cream ?

Oh , wow .

I love that . That was great . I think that was the only funny part in the movie .

When the fuck do we get ice cream ? That is fucking good . You scratched funny part in the movie when the fuck do we get ice cream ? That is fucking good .

You scratched my CD in broad daylight .

I was watching Shane Gillis' older stand-up . Dude that guy's hilarious and he was talking about the Special Olympics . He's like can you imagine being the guy who actually came up with that ? And you're just like you know , you tell a friend and a friend's like dude , you better keep that to yourself . I don't know where you come up with .

We went down to go see that Kill Tony show in the city a couple of weeks ago .

Oh , you went down . Yeah , how was that ?

Oh , dude , it was amazing , shane was there . Joe Rogan was there . We went the first night and we got to see Cam Patterson , Casey Rockett , all those guys . It was awesome .

I heard that was fucking outlandish .

Jelly Roll came out to open it . It was nuts man . Who else was there ? There was a lot of people , Until the Brady roast .

I didn't even know about that fucking guy .

He's fucking awesome . Tony Hinchcliffe yeah , dude , he's .

Really yeah . I never fucking saw him before , Never listened to him .

I was like this guy's fucking awesome Dude , hearing some of these kids that were there for the first time to go do their first stand-up , and they're doing it in Madison Square Garden in front of 18,000 people . This kid gets on stage and he totally tanks and Tony's like well , just try and tell us something that'll make everybody in the crowd like you .

Everybody was like get the fuck out of here .

You guys are mean . I would have loved to follow that .

Did you guys notice ? I just walked in from beating the shit out of a pussy in a BMW .

Yeah , Balls of steel getting on that fucking stage though at Madison Square Garden , oh dude .

How long is that ?

How long the show yeah yeah , it was probably two hours , two and a half hours .

Okay .

They do that every Thursday at the Mothership . Yeah , oh , yeah , yeah .

It's just fucking that . What did that run you I ?

think it was like 120 something . That's not bad . Any Florida seat started at 500 bucks .

What's his name ? Who was doing Dr Phil ? Yes , oh my god . When he does that shit , it is hilarious . They sit down , and then Shane Gillis Will sit down dressed up as Trump and he'll talk as Trump . And then you got a dude who's a comic , who talks like Dr Phil , and he looks like Dr Phil .

And he'll say just read my book and it'll hold up Dr Phil's book .

I think Shane Gillis is fucking hit and miss . Why Sometimes he's fucking hilarious and sometimes he's like fucking . Really , how is no one punched you in the mouth yet ?

Did you guys watch Tires on Netflix ?

No , I haven't seen it yet .

Oh my God , that is a funny show . Yeah , andrew Schultz is in it .

Ah , shoot Schultz , kind of like he blew up quick and then he just like .

Yeah , like I got a Schultz level , he turned a little bougie , I got a Schult too .

He was there that night too , don't get me wrong . I love his stand-up and shit's good .

It was good . It's a gimmick now .

He's a hit and miss guy too , it's fucking awesome .

It's like you're a fucking dildo . He was saying all the stuff that you couldn't say in that time and he was like super popular , yeah .

He blew up quick , yeah , from some of the shit he was saying's material well , it's chapelle .

I think it was chapelle who threatened him um something , like he was up on stage or whatever and and he wouldn't get off and chapelle's like I'll ruin your fucking career , and I guess and chapelle .

Chapelle can do that .

I love chapelle , yep how many times we watch the uh sticks and stones ? No , well , the one where he's the fucking lbgdq fucking yeah , uh the the car ride .

Yeah , they're picking up the hitchhikers , you have no bathroom here for another three steps that fucking 10 minute bit , or however long it is , is one of the most iconic . Like like awesome , yes , yeah , yeah , you know that whole setup is good , even when he's talking about the pools . That sums it all up .

Yeah , that man is just pure genius . Yeah , hands down Right Are you looking for it .

In fact , we built these roads . The rest of you ? Buckle up , we'll get you to where you want to go . So the G's are just driving the car . Of course , next to the G's in the passenger seat is the L's . Everybody likes the L's .

Hey , Superfan Ben .

Except for the G's . I don't know what that's about . I just know the G's don't like them that much and the G's always say like little subliminal digs on them , it's unnecessary shit , it's not mean . But you know what I mean . They just be like I wouldn't wear that .

If it's one thing that the L's and the G's agree on it's that the B's are fucking gross .

They seem greedy to the L's and the G's . You know what I mean . They're just sitting in the back seat like , yeah , man , I'll fuck anybody in this car .

He's just sitting in the backseat like , yeah man , I'll fuck anybody in this car .

Now , Ben , we're not having any of that Our second best fan Ben .

And sitting next to the bees all the way in the backseat by themselves looking out the window . That's the tease . Everybody in the car respects the tease , but everyone also resents the tease . It's not the tease fault , but everyone in the car just feels like the tease are making the trip take longer .

Okay , roll the window down , bitch .

I don't know what you , what ? Roll the window down , you Bitch .

I don't know what you .

What she said . I was hot . Can you pull over at the next exit ? I need to use the restroom . There is not a restroom for you for four states , nigga .

So we can do what we're doing . That's it . That's it , you're done .

That's one of the most classic legendary stand-ups ever . When he did that , do you get to the cue man ?

Yeah , the cue's good , oh yeah the Q's got it .

The Q's got it . The Q's got it . Just when that car can't get any more tense . The Q's are hitchhiking as they pick up on the road . Some white dude in booty shorts is walking down the freeway .

This is the best part .

Jesus , see him . That guy might be one of us . Hey , are you okay , need some help . And he come over there with them booty shorts , leaning on the window . Hey , what's going on ? Fellas , lady , whatever pronoun makes you feel comfortable in the bathroom ?

Yeah , I don't really know where I'm going . I don't know if I'm gay or I'm straight or whatever . All I know for sure is that I really want to get in this car .

That's fucking just a classic , my face is starting to hurt .

Absolute , fucking classic . He did it perfectly . The man's a legend . Yeah , dude , and the shit he got for that was crazy .

All his bits . Yeah , he don't give a fuck . No , he's the best .

Well , that's the thing about comedy . It's like that's our I think our escape .

You can't get canceled if you don't want it to happen .

Yeah , but it's you know Truth .

Listen , if you're fucking fair game yeah as soon as they try and cancel someone like him . He's just going to make a comedy skit about it .

Oh , my God , that's it .

What are you going to do ?

We're going to do a live show at the Trans' house . Yeah , we're going to do it . Yeah , with Tommy Tippy to a Tommy Coming in with glitter .

Yikes .

Oh , I don't know . What do you think , matt ? Do you think we're the end of the world ? What are you gonna do If the shit goes down ?

I'm gonna load up Pat , and I'm taking as many With me as I can .

You're gonna load up huh .

Sometimes . Listen , I don't know , man , it's fucking crazy , it's fucking weird . And we keep saying this it's gonna be a civil war , it's gonna be . It's going to be a civil war , it's going to be this it's going to be that Half the fucking people you're fighting are offended or put off by weapons . Can you imagine ?

that this generation try to go to war .

Let's be honest about it .

Hey , what if Venezuelans came in and took over the Hollywood motel Right ? A bunch of .

Venezuelans in Carmel when you got that .

After I'm done laughing we're just going to cut them off from Optum so they can't get medicine for the bed bugs .

Get rid of that shit right away .

Yeah we're going to have to cook that . You guys are cooked . We're going to bring in the boom .

Hey , listen , we're not going to bother you . We're just not going to give you medical treatment for whatever you get from staying in that hotel . It burnt down . So good luck , it did , which one burned down .

Hollywood Motel . That's a shame . I'm sure no one's responsible for it .

I was thinking of Heidi's and Brewster .

That's where yeah .

That's where what ?

Somebody's wife had to stay Dude Heidi's is nice Sifed over , I'm not kidding .

Have you ever been there ? No , I've been there to work Garage doors .

Why don't you growl for me , baby ?

It's a bear market . Oh , I got the pole start .

Dude , I know somebody .

Excellent point , ben Excellent point .

Her sister was in high school and apparently it's normal For these girls to wear Yup . It's normal for these girls To wear the tails , like in school , you know . So , wait , wait , wait , the tails , oh you're talking about the fucking furries . Yes , those things . Okay're talking about the fucking furries . Yes , those things .

The furries .

Yes , it's real .

We've had a long discussion about the furries .

The tails . What are the tails ? Those are the people that identify as cats .

This girl's sister was in class and someone decided that it would be funny to pull this girl's tail .

Well , that tail was a pull start and she yanked out .

This girl's butt plug in the middle of class Drops on the floor , goes across the floor and she just yanked out her fox tail .

Is that how kids have to get laid in high school now ?

She's bouncing around like a rubber conch , can you imagine being a parent ? Your kid's getting ready for school . They walk out with a tail . You think it's attached to their belt , but it's shoved up their ass .

No , Can you imagine that ? No , that's just . That's a lot . That's a lot to deal with , oh my God .

I'm horrified Like crazy .

Who walks around with ? I mean , have you seen this one on TikTok who's all bent out of shape that her kid identifies as a cat ? I'd be pissed and all the neighbors kept calling animal control about a dangerous animal .

That is hilarious .

Ladies and gentlemen , we have breaking news .

We have a cat sighting In South Florida .

So just be aware , it's a young buck boy Around 11 , he's wearing whiskers and please do not talk on the tail .

Yeah , and Mickey Mouse ears , the pronoun is meow . Please approach with caution .

And he has a pole start .

Yeah , yank that thing . You want to get that kid fired up . You want to get Mickey going .

Just yank the tail out , Bang Jesus Christ . I can never unsee that Like I can't .

Were the parents called .

I don't know if the parents were called . I didn't get too far into the story because we just couldn't believe that some kid got a butt plug . How old , how old are these people ? Senior in high school , so probably 17 . Some of them 18 , if they didn't .

Well , you got to figure 18's , okay , but you got to figure this too .

It's still fucking early for a butt plug man .

No , no . Kids got their phones and they're like oh , I can do whatever I want , so they're probably searching porn .

Hey , pat , I think you might want to check what Ben's saying . I don't know why , kevin , I don't think Kevin has been on the line tonight .

Wow , I'm getting attacked by Ben . What's going on here ? You believe that .

Oh , my God .

I can't believe he said that , dude , he was my biggest supporter . I'm fucked now . I got nobody .

Ben turned , ben turned Democrat , oh shit .

That's a big accusation . That's a big accusation .

These days , not really , you know , but here's , this is for Ben .

Shut up , bitch .

Oh my God , not for Kevin , that's for Ben , because we ever you know , I mean this guy came in Number one fan . Holy Jesus , like Santa Claus .

Right , true , seriously , listen , I had to come out swinging . You know you did Schmeat and all Right . Schmeat everywhere Moist , mo , shmeet everywhere Moist .

Moist and smoky , just how I like it .

I like it like a pork shoulder . I love it , you and your pork butt .

Ben was saying you shut up , bitch . You're supposed to be about the topic , but now Obst , he's never in your corner again .

Really he said never against Orbs .

Oh , against . See , that's what happens when I can't quite remember . Why are you trying to ?

start shit man . That's when the song Against All Logic come on . Right now .

But I was taking it back . I was like , oh my God , Ben turned on me . What did I do ?

Take a look at me now .

In such a fancy place . In such a fancy place Mean to you .

John's never heard this song . No , I've never heard that one either .

I'm just like oh yeah , Take a good look at me now .

He's like who's Phil Collins ? You've never heard that song . Oh , play it , dude , you gotta get that up Play it .

Ladies and gentlemen , welcome to 99.9 . We got a love request At night and coming . Calling from the request line is open . Calling from New Fairfield , connecticut , we have Orbs , orbs , you requesting Phil Collins . Is that what you're requesting Against all odds ? Uh huh , okay , great movie , by the way . Who's this go out to ?

Me , because I've never heard it .

So the younger generation never heard this . There you go . This could be one of those reaction videos .

You might want to grab Maddie around the waist and start fucking slow dancing .

Oh fuck , all right , all right .

We , we have Tiptoe Tommy , main stage Alright .

I'm gonna have to fill up for this .

This has gotten a little gay , oh man .

It's totally gay man you wanna turn on the disco balls .

Yeah , I feel like I'm about to start crying . Yeah , cut my balls . Okay , I can't do that . That is a good song , though , and it's a great fucking little drum solo in that bad boy . What was the other ?

one . What's that Pepsi ?

What's the other Phil Collins song ? Thank you sir . What fucking song is that ?

Which one ?

The one oh oh , oh , the one with the drums In the air tonight yeah .

Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , ha , all right .

Oh yeah , you know what's in the air tonight . What was that ? Somebody just had their microphone by their stomach .

No , I was putting the cap on the old Pepsi .

That was me .

Oh , just massaging the mic .

Can you not do that and stare right ?

at me Because it's just massaging the mic . Can you not do that and like stare right at me , because it's just so ?

It purrs .

What do you mean , pat ?

When I touch it , it purrs . What are you ? What are you talking about ?

Seriously , I don't understand why you guys are talking like that . I gotta go . Just a tip , do you ? No ? Oh , I'm just kidding . Oh , my god , don't See now .

I , he's got two hands on it now .

Oh , I'm good , I'm good he had two hands . He was choking that fucking thing out . He was about to kill it .

Ben requested Sister Studio .

Ah , sure , sure , Ladies and gentlemen , we have BT from Boston calling in BT . What are you looking for ? Hello , did we lose him ?

I think before it got disconnected he was looking for Sussu Studio , Sussu .

Studio . All right From the number two fan of the TID show , Sussu Studio . How do you spell that show ?

How do you spell that ? P-s-u-e-d , p-s-u-e-d , i-d-o-e-n-x ?

It's not synonym S-U-P-S-U .

P-S-U-E-D . How about just Phil Collins ? S-u-e-d-i-o , s-p-s-u-e-d-i-o .

S-U-E-D-I-O Sudo .

Oh God , s-s-s-s-u-d-i-o , yes , all right . Well , I can't find it .

All right . Well , there you go , number two All right .

Number two fan Seems like you're not going to get your request John . What request you got I ?

don't have a request .

Oh , come on , what's a good . Phil Collins was fucking pretty good , though .

Dude in the air tonight , man Like classic drum solo , like top five drum solos of all time . Yeah , I can feel it in the air . Do you know this tune ?

I know this one , I know this one , everybody knows this one .

If you have an air drum to this song , you're not even a man . Yeah , air drum .

I wonder how much we can Wait , wait , wait , matty , here now , now , this is what we'll do .

This is what we'll do 145 till the drums .

I'll find , I'll find . No , I'll find where the solo kicks in .

I'll find where the solo kicks in . Get your fucking cowbell .

Oh shit .

We're going on . What do you got ?

All right . I thought he had the tambourine tonight .

He can take the tambourine you got a gong .

bro , Do a hand , kazoo .

You got a gong man oh , you got a gong , you kazoo .

You got a gong man . You could time that gong . Yeah , that means it's called limitless as many times as you want . Yeah 17 .

17 of them .

No , no , 60% of the time . It works all the time . That means like three yeah .

We're back in . Yeah , alright , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait .

Oh no , oh no . Yeah , let's get the band together On a Friday night Come on , give me the tambourine , oh no . I remember , don't worry .

Yeah , tell me when . Yeah , tell me when Ready .

Yeah , yeah .

Welcome to the Enya channel on Sirius Radio . We like to meditate with our listeners , so if you guys are out there , just listen up and stretch it out , stretch out , stretch out .

Listen to you and me . That was terrible . You have .

Maddie's timing , it wasn't bad man .

I think that was off a little bit .

Was I premature .

I don't know , because I was looking this way and it just sounded like a random bang on the fucking gong and I was like I don't know it was good way , and it just sounded like a random bang on the fucking gong and I was like I don't know , it was good though .

I think it was good .

We gotta get a fucking harmonica or kazoo .

Alright , kazoo would be a party Next . I was gonna say next weapon , next instrument .

Dude , I play me in spoons .

Shut the fuck up , ben Dude , I play me in spoons . Shut the fuck up .

Ben Ben , just so you know . Your rating instantly dropped today Down to two . We got vomit from you and cigars , cigarar cutters , Fanny packs .

I wouldn't say it's a fanny pack , I wouldn't say it's a fanny pack .

I like to call it my fanny pack or my satchel .

Satchel with Vaseline . Satchel with Vas .

My sach and vas .

Sach and vas that could be a cool plate . It could be the next type over Wow .

Sachin Vass on my license plate . I like it .

Oh God , that's a personalized license plate and everybody would ask Everybody get out of here . It's Sachin Vass .

Hey , man's a personalized license plate and everybody would ask Everybody get out of here . It's Sachin Vaz hey man what's your plate mean ? What ? Let's talk about it ? What Come here , hit it .

Just hit it with your spear fingers . You know what .

I mean .

When you're doing it .

You got enough Vaseline , where it looks like a witch and you're like yeah , come here Come , here Would you put two in there , I would

do the shocker and make them look like birthday candles . Got like three things of Vaseline in there , with Vaseline the Vaseline's on top . It looks like a candle . And I'm just sitting there I'm like , yeah , yeah , that's what my plate means . Satchin Vats , fuck dude , what's up ?

Yeah , anyway , what's the DMV website ?

It's an illegal gong .

I'm not sure what happens when we have an illegal gong .

Ref .

that's our first illegal gong we gotta send this to Toronto for a replay .

Throw the flag .

What's that ? Oh Okay , so illegal gong the pan or the gong has to be swung .

No , he had an amount , man , I know he had an amount and he surpassed the amount .

That's why I said he would have a penalty . He's in violation , are you ?

talking amount , like how many times , or or the level of strength he hit it with how many times .

He had four . We're not questioning his strength .

He's a small little man , it was a big gong .

He may lose gong privileges . Maybe we give you the gong .

His timing . His timing is good with the gun .

He likes his little mallet , though I do I do it just sounded so weird .

Love my mallet , I love my mallet .

He loves his little mallet , doesn't he ?

I've been married for 18 years . I love my mallet .

You love that little mallet , don't you ?

Love it every day .

Sometimes twice .

I live for the four minutes in the morning when I'm by myself . All right , moving on .

Anyway , moving on , all right .

I can't wait to get a new Satchin Vaz Morning rituals .

Next topic you guys get that new Satchin Vaz Next week on . Satchin Vaz Morning rituals . Next topic you guys get that new Satchin Vaz Next week on .

Satchin Vaz , satchin Vaz it's going to be a new fucking hashtag .

Oh my God , just one Satchin Vaz , just one Hi Hi .

Oh , I got your Satchin Vaz , god , now I got a piece of it . Oh , here , a mess , god . Now I got a piece of it .

Oh , since we're getting a big following in Vietnam , are we going to wear rice hats next week ?

I was thinking about doing a live show and rolling sushi , maybe something in bamboo .

What that's native to the area right . Uh-uh , Uh-uh .

We .

Never mind . Never mind Never mind , mind , oopsie , yeah , that was almost a bleep .

For a while .

It was almost a big bleep Wouldn't be the first one on this show .

But seriously , I gotta pee .

How long have we been recording Pat ?

We've been going for a good hour and 36 minutes .

I think it's time .

It's always time .

Sweet . Usually , when Kevin has to pee , it's about time to go . I feel like my eyeballs are sweating right now . I can't imagine why I don't know Jesus .

It's like it fucking came at me .

Sometimes that'll happen .

Sometimes , that'll happen .

I thought they're fucking those fucking Woo .

Touching that uppercut . He seemed trained in the dodging .

What .

Docking Dodging , how so we can hear about that story we talked about at the beginning of the show ? What was the story ? I don't know . Boom had a story .

Oh , boom doesn't have a story . Oh , I got some stories , but it ain't going to be that way , it's okay . What ?

Of the stories you told me tonight . What is there ? You're going to have to fucking . You're going to tie that off . I can't Pee in the ice jar .

I'm doing the leg shake man .

Just go right in the camera and , like it was only fans .

Dude , just go right in the camera Like it was OnlyFans .

Dude , that's not gonna hold it Like it was OnlyFans oh , I got $20 , says you can't fill that .

Oh , dude , I'll take it outside right now and do it no , right here on camera .

No , oh my god 20 bucks .

Can't buy him like that .

I'm glad we bleeped that out You're not getting this for $20 , bro , you're right .

Why buy the milk for $20 when you get the cow for free ?

Oh , what Huh , what oh ?

Oh , that's fucking another demerit , it's gone , 30 .

Two , well , oh Two .

Two .

Two , two .

Two . Well , johnny , you are fucking more than welcome . It's Friday night . Anytime to Thank you To join us . I thought it was great .

Absolutely .

We're gonna fucking Siphed over everybody's faces right now .

Yeah , it's either Siphed over or the .

Can we get an explanation on that ? Like what does that mean ? So it's a dude and just like , remember , I have to pee .

I think we figured it out . Speak slowly . I think it's Scythe Dover , because it's his last name . Yeah , half of his , but it was split up so it looked like two separate words .

Yeah , but Dover's not in his name .

Yeah , but Dover's not in his name . Yeah , syphed like you got syphed over E-D-O-V-E-R . Yeah , got you , got you , you got syphed over .

Oh , you syphed me over .

I got it now .

Yeah .

Now you got it .

I'm going to start using that slang . Yeah , I mean . Skippy .

Skippy , oh yes , someone just told me that the other day .

Some stupid shit I just learned . Well , laugh out loud Really .

No , are you kidding me ? That was a shut up , bitch , that was a shut up , couldn't get it because I couldn't see it .

I know I'm sorry .

I still have to pee , so bad .

Shut up , bitch , let's have sex .

I'm just going to aura Kelly Pat in like two minutes man $20 says you won't , you won't do it .

You won't do it , no , stay out of the chair .

We don't need you Kevin this is God talking .

You won't do it . You won't do it . No , I'm gonna fucking Stay out of the chair . Don't eat dog . We don't need to , kevin . This is God talking .

And I'm trying to .

Don't do it . That was a . That's a sin . That was the fastest you ever worked on that board . Oh my god .

No , kevin , do it . Ha ha ha ha . Yeah , deal , sick fuck .

Ha ha ha ha , you old sick , fuck Dude , I'd totally pee on you .

I can tell we're getting close to the end .

If you .

Yo , you just said that so nonchalantly .

Yeah , dude , but in all seriousness .

I would fucking pee on you . You know what Yo ? Quick start an OnlyFans . You can make some money on that .

I don't know if you noticed , but I'd pee on you .

Buy this video . Get episode 100 for free . You don't like totals ?

We have golden showers for hours .

volume one Golden showers for hours .

Volume one GS4H .

Cold showers for hours . Bro , that's gonna be a new fucking shirt , that's gonna be a license plate , that's gonna be a phone case . Cold showers for hours , days Cold showers Four hours .

That's like really funny .

I still have to pee , Just saying man .

Just saying I haven't peed myself in about 20 years .

It's going to fucking happen tonight .

Go to the bathroom , go ahead , or just pretend you're in a bedroom and piss on the wall .

Oh my God , what time is it ? It's 1020 .

He's got to go .

He's got some prostate issues , I believe .

It appears so .

I think something's affecting him .

Wow , we were up to five viewers and he was going to piss on you .

Yeah , I think .

They heard GS48 , and they were like I'm about to tune in for this one . You're telling me I get to see that I don't got to be a twomper Golden showers for hours .

I think that's the next personal ice , ice , yeah hours I think that's the next personal ice .

ice is yeah . Well , that's definitely the title of this episode . So , ai , since you're listening and you're going to do the summary for the show , yes , for each . Gs for H will be the title of this fucking episode . Yeah Thanks , Alexa . Can you do the water spout thing after it to thank you ? To water spout thing after it too , Thank you .

The water spout thing Yellow in color if you have it .

Oh , check , please , Check , please , I gotta go , I gotta go . Oh shit .

We're all going to die tonight .

Are you going to baseball tomorrow ?

Yeah , all right , satan's always around for a good game , playing with the balls and stuff . You know what I'm talking about . There he is .

I do Fresh meat Ha ha , ha , ha , there he is . I do Fresh meat .

Oh hey , kev , how was that ? How does your body feel now ? How does your body feel now ? Did you get all that penis sound ? Yeah , I did man . All right , bro , all right . If you guys want to listen , dial 1-888-222-GS48 .

All right , all right . What do you think , kev .

We need some closing music .

Yeah , we do , we do .

Oh , we need to put on some R Kelly Singing in the rain , singing Right ? Oh , we need to put on some R Kelly .

Singing in the rain Right .

I think R Kelly is , like you know , just desserts right now .

I want to pee on you .

We just need some weather techs and we'll be set oh yeah , so psyched over All season , Matt's in GHSs for hours . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . All the fun , no mess , uh-huh Wow .

That's awesome , but my body . My body Is telling me I love yellow flowers .

But there is something that I I like most about you .

Yeah .

I don't see nothing wrong with golden showers .

I don't see nothing wrong . Ow yeah With a little golden shower .

With a little golden shower For an hour .

I don't see nothing wrong For an hour Ow .

Yeah hour , yeah , oh , my God Right . I haven't cried in a long time .

That was funny , man Four hours .

My fucking face hurts .

Satan came in singing bump and grind . I don't see nothing wrong . Wow , that was just fucking good . Well , I mean , that's how you close out a show . Yeah , that's an hour and 46 minutes , no edits . We're going with all the racist comments we can . Might as well , we're not racist .

No , we hate everyone .

Equally .

True , sometimes myself , me too , myself , not you Myself , but you sometimes .

Just remember you gotta bring back the words pussy faggot and retard . All right , jesus . All right , bring it back . All right , once again , ladies and gentlemen , you were late on the beat button on that one .

Yeah , uh if you guys haven't heard yet , we got to come back with pussy faggot . And what ? Retard and retard back in the tard . Retard and retard back in Tard or tart . Retard , retard .

Da .

Yeah , da , da , yeah , okay , and pussy Retard .

Pussy . I don't think pussy is one that you can't say oh no .

You cannot say pussy anymore .

No , you can , it's more .

I mean you can say it , but they throw you off the football field .

I think I'd get a worse reaction if I hit somebody with the See . I feel like I can't even say it . That's how programmed .

I am , you can say it on this show .

Retard , I can say it . I just said it Hard R Okay , hard , I mean , it was wasn't it .

It just looked like you let so much weight off your shoulders .

You're like retard . I've been programmed for years . You feel better now .

Yeah , you know what's funny . The correct term is retarded American , retarded American .

Okay , r-race , we didn't know that in the third Retarded American Okay , our race , our race . Yeah , we didn't know that in the third grade Kev .

Yeah , Okay .

What In ?

the third grade , it was just retard .

All right , the wheels are falling off Today man . Matthew , today it's retarded .

American . No , I want to live back in the day .

What is back in the day ? What in the day ? What is back in the day ? What year ?

Give me a . You were still swimming around your father's testicles .

I didn't even know if you were swimming .

What year were you born ? 95 . 95 . Oh my God , Great year . That was two years after I graduated high school .

It was a lot of fun . 95 was actually a lot of fun , yeah actually a lot of fun .

Yeah , it was . Yeah , dude , that's so much acid .

Oh my God , so much acid in 95 , man , there was a lot of things going on , yeah , yeah .

Yeah , I missed that one . Yeah , man .

Yeah , so much acid .

Hey , remember me .

Hey little Kev remember me , we used to do acid , hey .

I feel like I'm still in the same spot , hey .

How many years have gone by what ?

What year is it ?

It's been 28 years In the closet . Play the music , play the music , play the music . He took one tab of acid , oh no , how long have I been in ?

here how many times was the house sold ? What , oh , I can't wait until the many times was the house sold .

What , oh , oh . I can't wait until the next person buys this house and I walk in and be like what the fuck happened in this room .

Somebody was saying the R word , oh .

I had to think about it for a minute .

Grissom from CSI comes in . They got to bring a medium down here . What do you think it is ?

I'm gonna be from the looks like , yeah , the splatter .

I'm gonna say we got a fantasy football trophy , yeah , and I'm gonna guess we got a still From all the splatter over here .

somebody said the word retard .

Yeah , the medium's gonna come in this room and he's like I feel a lot of bourbon and I'm dumber .

Somebody peed a lot .

What seems like for hours .

There's a lot of urine in the right corner . Yeah , why does it smell ?

like fresh floor mats in here it smells like fucking human kitty litter .

Oh no , jesus , are you seriously ?

walking over to there and just pissing in the corner .

Oh no , that's not what they were doing . I'm sorry , pat , that's the bedroom .

Why is he using the fresh scoop ? What the fuck .

Have you shit in the cat litter box yet ?

No , just checking Valid question Listen , if somebody ever shit in a litter box , you're something fucked up .

There is a guy out there that thinks that I took a shit on the hood of his car and on his dog's Frisbee .

He thinks to this day that I did it but , it wasn't me .

I just thought it was funny , so is it someone you would want to do that ?

No , like I don't know the guy .

Oh , and it's , it's a .

It's a friend of a friend and they love somebody . They pick you out of a lineup . No , so they they love to mess with this guy . They were like , hey , this just happened to him . You should say that , like you were out one day and you took a shit on someone's car and and then he's going to be like , oh , what kind of car was it ? Can you imagine ?

And then he was going to say it . No , the other friend is do you want to know , or really send him over the edge ? Yeah , shit on his dog's Frisbee .

So I start telling this story . That's personal man . Yeah , someone didn't like him , but I mean , it wasn't me Like seriously'm telling a story . I'm like , yeah , I was driving around .

Do you know those two are dating now . Who Did you know that ?

Momoa yeah .

Stop , fuck you dude .

Oh my God , stop . Oh my God , don't make me pay attention to this shit .

You're going to be getting those people magazines . You're going to get reading people magazines .

He gave you the really you want to poop in my pillow ?

I'm going to Google this shit and I'm going to be bombarded with fucking links . You click the links to it .

I don't know if you noticed that's the only way you get to the bottom of the story . Don't click the only things . The one that says it'll cause a virus .

No way . Dude the one that says it'll cause a virus no way dude .

No way , yeah , no way .

I believe so no way , maybe , no , I think so , dude , she took a dump with him in the pool . That's hot . No way , no , no , yeah , that's a man , that's a fucking Well , she Like dude , dude , I don't care , like dude , I don't care . That's BS4H who you are Like . That's a Nope .

No , GS4H , bro . That's what it is With some poop .

With some poop . The brown fish , that's what he called it . Right , she called it the brown fish , what ? What that's no brown fish . What that's no brown fish . That shit was great .

All right , we got to close this shit out . Whoa easy , easy . What do you want to close that with ?

I don't know Linkin Park , how about some Linkin Park ? It starts with Go out with a bang .

I like it .

Like that song . Uh-huh , that's a cool song . Give me a second Good drums Guitar , that's a cool song .

Give me a song . Good drums guitar . Yeah , it starts with golden charms . It starts with I don't know why .

It doesn't even matter how hard you try . Keep that in mind . I just wanted to explain to you All , I know .

Ladies and gentlemen , thank you for joining us on one of our funniest episodes we've had in a long time Our new number one fan , and I wouldn't mind having him as a co-host every weekend . Go right out the window , johnny Boom .

Johnny Boom Number one fan and I wouldn't mind having him as a co-host every weekend , Johnny .

Boom , johnny Boom , you don't have to bring gifts every week , but you can join us Okay .

Yeah , I was going to say I'm going to run out of cigars real quick . No , you do a reach around Reach around next week . Oh , okay , only fans , see you there you dare .

What we do in life echoes in eternity .

See you next time .

I need a smokey .