Ep.94 Banter and Belly Laughs Behind the Mic

I like the look of the studio there's a special dedication to this song . This one goes out to Ops . You want to know why ? Why's that ? Take a look at the fucking table , people . Oh , there's a table , look at that . Hey , we've got a brand new table . Brand new , lots of shit . Yeah , and that's why we don't need another carpentry hero .

It turns into Thunderdome what we do in life echoes in eternity .

Let's get a proper cheers , proper cheers . Spill it on the cameras . We all work anyways . Oh , we just happened , no way .

What are we doing live , yeah , echoes and a turntable .

I can't change screens , something happened ?

I can't change my Facebook screen . Why it won't let me get off the TID show , uh-oh .

Copyright . That's your phone , man , I can't Go , fuck yourself .

Hey Orbs , take it deep .

Take it deep . I don't like that at all , what the fuck . So anytime , anytime , I switch the sound pad .

Yeah it goes , it'll shut it off . Well , I'm sure it's user error again , probably .

So can you layer ones that are on the same screen ? Did you say lay , layer , layer ? I like that .

Yeah yeah , breaking news , so just got to put them on the Layer Layer , I like that . Yeah yeah , breaking news , so you just got to put them on the same screen . Crazy , we are um how many minutes in Three , we have breaking news already .

What's our breaking news ?

I don't know if anybody knows this yet . We have no clue what we're doing with technology . Obviously you can tell by this his fat fingers over there , don't throw that , don't throw that . Careful it's not cured yet . Ladies and gentlemen , welcome back again to the Take a Deep Show .

Yeah , for the second time tonight .

Well , we should have had a show last week , so I want to wish a happy birthday to Matthew here and wish myself a happy birthday .

Happy birthday Patty , happy birthday boys . I got you both nothing .

You gave us a big gift , kev , big gift your friendship .

Your camaraderie . Yeah , and you wonder why your corned beef and mashed potatoes ?

When you felt like you were self-loathing , in the corner , wondering self-loathing , wondering why , like we hated you , we didn't know we love you . That's why we're very hard on you and look what happens , just like that .

Look what happens Just like that .

Way to stir up past things .

Awesome . I mean , look what happened . I can't even tell you how happy I was watching you work into the wee hours .

You had doubts . You had doubts walking into this . How did I have doubts ? When did I ?

go , even go there . There was doubt in your eyes . You had a plan .

Well , maybe a little bit I did . I did A little bit he definitely had a plan .

I'm not going to lie either . These fucking things are phenomenal . They are cool . I didn't make those . No , no , no , you did not . So why ? What is going on ? Shut your phone off and then turn it back on Fucking shut up .

What are you trying to do ? Is that one of them androids ? We have no sound again . Who us ?

Yeah .

That's impossible . Dude what's going on .

That is so impossible right now .

Oh , what happened ? Oh , now fucking switch , you , fucking cunt . Look at the microphone .

It is default zoom . Here we go again .

There's no sound , there is no sound .

There's no sound on Facebook . I'm going to fucking kill somebody right now . Hello , hello .

A whole new gear table and feel that's funny .

You muted . You muted something on the computer , is that , oh , you muted something on the computer . Is that I love technology ? Oh , no , no .

My headphones . Funny thing is we're gaining viewers .

Yeah well , we're going to keep on gaining . We're going to keep on gaining .

Just put the closed captioning on people you don't need to listen to us sing Tina Turner songs For our Spanish-speaking people out there .

Hit your .

SAP button . I don't get it . It's mind-boggling to me Because Weed on camera , just saying .

Yeah , it does look good . It does look pretty good on camera .

See that's playing . And microphone zoom audio .

Did you change one of the settings on there when you fucking did ? No , you sure .

Positive 110 . Orientation settings are disabled while live . What's that ? Oh , portrait and all that shit . What is going on here ?

Was it something on here ? No , you did mute something on there , yeah , but now it's unmuted . Is it something on here ? No , you did mute something on there , yeah but now it's unmuted .

Is it something on here ? Nope , and good , good , good , we're getting all readings here . Master volume . That's on .

How do we do this to ourselves ?

all the time . I have no dude , I don't touch you . Should have did a test run . Should have did a test run .

This guy , fucking idea guy , all of a sudden comes out , but no one thought of that .

Sometimes it's after the fact , you know , but it's still a good idea .

Yeah , let desktop apps access your microphone . Desktop apps have previously access your microphone . Nice , we're up to five . No , we'll get there , don't you worry .

We're coming , we're coming .

Hello , how about that Allow apps and windows to use the device for audio ?

Does that work ?

Hello , hello . We're going to have to wait like eight seconds before we find out .

Thanks Bill . Thanks Bill , what exactly ? There's no audio ? There's no audio .

I want to kill somebody right now . It's amazing .

I have no words . I should have just got fucking stink ass drunk again and not made it down the stairs . I don't think Kev would have picked me up this time .

Yeah , look at this tab using your camera and microphone . Fuck you , kenny . At this tab , you're using your camera and microphone . Fuck you , kenny , not me . Apps using microphone Google Chrome Microphone access Are you kidding ?

me right now Like what the fuck . What the fuck was that ? That was like the very first . Like we're experiencing technical difficulties , please stand by . Oh my God , like the black and white TV would . I don't know what's going on . These microphones really pick shit up , huh .

I'm crying .

These are real tears . Well , no , it's weird , though , See that .

Yeah .

Oh wait a minute .

The red cut the red . I feel like we should get the Swiss Army knife with the little scissors because there's different types of USBs .

Army knife with the little scissors . Because there's different types of USBs . Now it's See that , see how it got muted .

What does that mean ? Now we should be good .

Really , really , yo yo you , no , no , nothing yet really yo yo no , no , nothing yet hello , hello . I'm not getting any fucking reading to the yeah . No , there's nothing . No , alright , we're just unplugging everything and starting over .

Ethernet's gonna have to come out . All right , we're just unplugging everything and starting over .

Ethernet's going to have to come out .

Oh , what was that ? Ethernet ? I heard a noise . It's from the computer , you dummy .

What were you just talking about outside ?

I don't know no , that thing , the $6 .

Oh , it looked like your mic was unplugged . There we go . There it is . I don't know , I see it now . There we go . Hey , facebook . There it is . I don't know , I see it . Now , there we go , all right , hey , hey . All right , hey , facebook . Thank you for joining us . All right , we're going to hey .

Hey , all right , let's turn that down now , yay , so what exactly was that ? I want to cry right now . I really do . I think we should go right back to Tina Turner right now .

Yeah , you're right , maddie , you are 110% .

I think that's too soft . I think we need some sauce .

No , now we got enough . Here we go . You know what ? I just want to find life beyond Thunderdome . I think Pat's getting ready to climb the wall with a spear .

Oh boy , oh hey , hey , there we go , there we go . Gonna need more bourbon after that shit .

Bonnie Tyler . She's hot Back in . Oh sorry , benny , oh sorry Back in 82 . Is this thing on it's working now ? Okay , there we go , how we out there in the real world .

Yep , thing on it's working now , okay there we go how we out there in the real world .

Yep , I was a fucking hero today . Fuck that . What we do in life echoes in eternity . You want to know what's going to echo in eternity ? Throw that against the wall Now . We need some Chinese people working over here .

Were there enough of them coming over to board , or can we grab one ? Ugh , god damn it .

Fucking . Nothing ever goes right , the first time or the second time , and we're the only podcast that'll call you back .

We will call you back .

T-T-T-T-T .

Minds off , minds off I heard it Minds off .

I heard you's off . I heard it Mine's off . I heard you , you , motherfucker , I heard you Always . Always an episode , somebody , all right TID show 2.4376539 . Yes , friday , friday , right Friday night . Episode 2.4376539 . Yes , friday , friday , right Friday night episode . Friday night special .

We got a Friday night special Because we had a Sunday drunk time . We couldn't make it .

Well , not Two thirds did . Yeah , I didn't get drunk .

Oh yeah . Well , there were two people discombobulated that couldn't perform .

Well , we got a few stories from the Thunderson estate you were LWI , living while intoxicated . He is fucking on fire today Very quick with his puns and his acronyms and his wit and his Gmail so quick Doesn't even know the password to that . I can't even get on him .

Yeah , okay .

Because if we weren't , I don't think we would have had a table .

Oh yeah , that's where you think that came from .

I don't know , I don't know , but all I know is you worked into the wee hours and I can't you think it came from me trying to please you Well . Touche , kevin , touche Um , you did work into the wee hours . You did put , uh , a lot of thought and dedication into this Um . Anytime , I tried to help him .

I'm sorry , that's just the way I get straight up . Stalin , he's the , he's the fucking architect . I didn't mean to call you Stalin , he's the contractor .

Stop it , stop it . You were just very . You're in a zone , dude . You're like the guy from . You were very stern From this old house . Remember that show ? You're that guy whittling wood and look who you come up with what's ? That .

What was ?

that that old , this old house . Remember that show ? Yeah , you're that guy whittling wood and look what you come up with . I was so happy when I saw this and then I was like I'm going to cry when I had to put everything together with all the wires and shit and I was like it's not going to work .

Uh , we yeah , didn't yeah , so we bought these new cameras .

Yeah , no good , We'll figure those out , we'll figure those out .

So our money , silent money , man , phil Green , phil Green , philip Green , philip Green , green Berg no , anyone . Any of the crickets Right ? I don't even know if I got crickets .

We don't have crickets on this fucking thing , man .

We got laughter Stop .

The fuck . All right . Philip Greenberg , still not crickets ? Yeah , I can't find them . Philip Greenberg , still not crickets ? Yeah , I can't find them . Donated to the Take it Deep Foundation . That's a long applause .

Yeah Well , hey , there's a big donation . It was a big donation .

It was a standing ovation . So Philip Greenberg got us some new microphones , these new fucking low profileprofile mic boom arms .

So we can move around . You move the boom arm around . Oh yeah , you can sit back , you can sit close .

You can move side to side Different attachments on it .

Got us some software too right , attachments .

Yeah , what kind of attachments ? Well , it does plug in . You put in a vibrating dill or something , I don't know if you can get an xlr vibrating dill .

Xlr is the wires . Oh , okay , I was trying what was it I was trying to explain to you outside gmail ? Oh , I was bandwidth , yeah , the bandwidth , and you're like listen man trying to simplify it . So what do we need , from start to finish , to get this done ?

It's like what's the problem ? What do we need ?

Well , I was like the problem is I'm in charge of doing this shit . That's the problem . I honestly think I got to take fucking technology cliff notes .

Listen . For the most part you do a fucking bang up job .

It's probably why I'm highly suicidal . I mean it's up there , no , no , no , I love it , dude .

I feel like you're a YouTube video away . Man , like you watch the right YouTube video you're going to be like .

I got it . How many more times do I have to say foot loser ? How many more times do I have to say foot loser ? How many more times do I have to say Not only that , we have fucking cameras that can record on SD cards at different angles .

We have trees like trail cams .

Oh , we got different angles . We're going to have to do a lot of editing .

To be like candids for like a , you know , like the bonus DVD . Right , it's like oh boy .

It's like girls going wild For like a you know , like the bonus DVD , right , it's like oh boy , it's like girls going wild bonus .

But we're going to have . We're going to have TID show behind the scenes .

We're going to have Kevin Derte Bacon . He's the actor that's coming in .

No relation to Kevin Bacon . I think he name should just be like Crispy Bacon , not even Kevin name . What about Keith Crispy Bacon ?

You got to spell Bacon like B-A-C-E-N , like they used to spell Bruce Lee , bruce L-I Avoid copyright B-A-K-O-N , b-a-a-k-o-n , b-a-k-u-n .

I'm german yeah I'm just okay .

Yeah , I've broken down the the video . I didn't want to drink tonight . I want you guys to know that , as you're over there .

As you're over there , like you're literally Now , you're far away from me , kind of I'm closer A lot of space here .

I'm closer than I was . You know what . You know why this is good , because when you really fucking aggravate me . I can just fucking pounce . I thought you were going to say pound .

What are you pouncing on ?

I , I could just fucking pounce . I thought you were going to say pound . What are you pouncing on ? I'll fucking come across this fucking table . I can't get to him . He's safe .

I got to sprint , that's not happening , all I know is , I could just fall down . I'll totally be ready by the time you get here .

I literally giggled the second , the corner caught him the first time . He was like oh , you did one of those that's when I knew this is a real deal holyfield table right .

I think there's going to be a redesign .

We may cut that corner off I kind of like the corner I could maybe , maybe we can mount my buzzer here it'd be like a special ed corner you know , maybe like take it in like , uh , like to here and just uh , no too much know like , but like come like .

this way , though no .

You know what this is going to evolve to . You know , right , the whole couch scene . That's what's going to evolve to the couch scene .

Yeah , Well , if we send it to table , we could certainly fit a fucking sexual couch in here .

Well , that's what I was trying to figure out . I was like what do we have to do ? Have him slave like he did ? I wouldn't do it again .

I wouldn't go there . What we went through , like I have to make another table , no , no , no , no . What are you talking about ?

Making it as comfortable as possible . Sitting on a couch and just having , like the how to fucking boom arms , boom arms , right , no , no , have the boom arms connected to something that sits on the floor and you do that , or you can get one of a Where's that thingy ? Oh , it's over there . It's like this flexible clip .

We're not getting any viewers . I don't think anyone cares . This really started off bad .

I had so much to talk about . People were so excited . I'm actually thinking about how bad this is right now .

It's been a tough journey , all right .

How can we spice it up ? Very simple , how we can spice this up . I literally believe . The other night I saw a UFO . Here we go . The man was convinced , extremely convinced , not only convinced .

I didn't even want to explain it . I want to see if you see what this guy sees .

I don't worry about him . Before I even get into it . What's crazy is , before I even explained it to him , before I even get into it , what's crazy is , before I even explained it to him , he came back and told me what he's seen , and it was the same exact fucking thing . Weather balloon , no . So I'm outside smoking a cigarette . Clear is fucking .

What thing Like a disc , like a large penis .

I can't even explain it due to the like it wasn't breaking up . Okay , if something was entering the atmosphere , it was just an object , yes , straight . So no angle , no , nothing . And this speed at which it went from one point to another when I yelled what the fuck was that ?

How many gummies ?

None . Was it something that left a trail or was it something that just moved that fast ?

Dude , it was like blink of an eye like that and gone , because that's a big difference too , and gone , gone . It definitely was not . A blink of an eye like that and gone , because that's a big difference too , and gone , gone , it definitely was not a meteor .

Do you think that it came into the hemisphere and it saw something ?

So I was thinking like you . That caught its eye Possibilities . Maybe I got a wink from a fast driver or something , you don't know .

I was just thinking you were large enough for them to see you from there .

See , we were going to try and keep this a positive show .

What do you guys want me to do ? Is that why ?

you're coming on me with my , with the fat shaming . What do you want me to build ? I'll build it . Huh , I'll nip this in the bud right away A balanced diet .

Oh , A balanced diet oh .

Yeah , I mean , it's kind of the point right .

Wow .

I'm sorry , man , I felt like you teed that one up for me , so UFO .

God .

As you're doing that , I'm like I'm really hungry , so let's keep the fat shaming to the side . I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna . I'm gonna keep my innuendos to myself , so Kevin doesn't come back and shame me .

Guessing fastball next one .

No , no , not at all . So what really kind of made it separate from everything else ? It wasn't coming in at an angle whatsoever .

Just straight across the horizon .

Straight across the horizon , straight across the horizon . So if you're out in front and you got like that , the driveway and that patch of trees right there , and if you look all the way to the edge of the house , those patch of trees right there , in a blink of an eye from there to there and gone . It was crazy , dude , absolutely crazy .

And how many were there ? The vapor trails , you mean for the UFOs ?

No , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no no , no , so I know the thing you're talking about . Okay , keep talking . And like the things they're hard to discern what they are .

Gmail . I don't know about you guys , but I'm getting ready to fall asleep . I can't imagine that anyone has any interest in this at all . Why , if ?

you saw you saw this no one .

There's no one watching , no one cares are you trying to find it ?

is that what you're ?

doing . I'm trying to find it right now because of that footage they released and it was ?

it was fucking

I'm not , it's nothing new like no , it was bonkers , but like just the amount of of objects that you were able to see in the infrared vision that were flying around . This one piece , 12-mile-long piece .

It's almost like a thousand ants gathered around , like a grain of fucking sugar , like a hundred gunners .

And why are they invisible ? Because they're moving . So fast .

They're not necessarily invisible , they're just visible To the naked eye , you can't see it .

Yeah .

They're visible in the infrared spectrum . Are they predators ? You know how you put on the glasses and the green shit A bunch of Epsteins . You can see the green shit . It's sort of like Predator .

You are ugly motherfucker .

It's just not in the visible light spectrum . Okay , you know . So , like humans don't really see it without a filter , gotcha .

You know , yeah , and the amount that you see is like mind boggling . Yeah , mind boggling .

You know , what you're reminding me of is the movie they Live with Rowdy . Roddy Piper , you got to wear sunglasses , sunglasses on .

Why do you think I put these on all the time ? Just make sure .

I think it's just so you can see the fucking keyboard .

But yes , over over my fucking underbelly oh , I wasn't going but not like when I ever since I've seen that I'm like , wow , what do we ? What is really really out there ? I don't know man , and are they that pronounced of where there's that many going around where we can't see in the naked eye ? And are there fucking aliens just running around the earth ?

Do you think it's at the level of V ?

The reptiles .

I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum because I'm out of bubble gum , because there's been a lot of , you know at least , like I've seen a few things about , like like joe biden wearing a mask , like it's not really him , like I've seen shit like that , like v for vagina , v for vaginas vendetta oh , oh , you're right .

Yes , great movie by V for Vigorous Vendetta .

Oh you're right . Yes , great movie , by the way we're living it , yeah , totally . Just saying the past 8 years we've lived that shit .

Hence the Tina .

Turner song . That's why , like when we're sitting here talking about stuff and you're like , oh , you haven't seen that ?

Oh , yeah , there's a comet walking dead . Like what , when and oh you're gonna see the devil's comet it's called so in the areas where there's going to be a totality for the eclipse , when the sun's completely , you know , overtaken by the moon shadow .

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight ? I love that movie . Love that movie . Sorry , sorry , thanks , jack . I know I know nothing about any of these things in which you speak . Yeah .

Well , no , I didn't think you did . That's why I'm , that's why you're educating .

I'm letting you know , man , thank you , but but it it's kind of alarming when people are actually telling people to make sure you have this , make sure you have that my son actually asked me this morning .

He's like he's like he said something to me . It kind of bugged me out . He's like he said something to me . It kind of bugged me out . He's like you know , if you're the only male child in the family , you can't be drafted to go to war . And I was like interesting , who thinks he's going to ?

He thought he was going to yeah , so he's going to draft him .

Well , my son brought this up this morning . He said he was discussing this with a couple of his friends and I'm like he's like fuck you guys , I was like well , I don't really think you're going to have to worry about it , because I honestly think the next world war is going to be fought in the United States , and the draft was abolished .

Well they would really hesitate to bring that back . Let's see how well that goes over worked , it's , but I was .

You know , just the fact that you know 14 year old kid had even that thought to look into , that was , you know , a little mind-blowing . Something's gonna happen , there's no two ways about it . It's just gonna be on what scale and exactly where is it gonna be . I , if it could happen in Calumet Colorado , it could happen anywhere .

I'm just saying Browser lost fucking connection for a second . What the browser lost connection for a second ? Did you say browsers ? No , I love browsers . There it goes again . It keeps on kicking us off .

Thanks , All right . Last time you threw cash around the table popped up I know what happened .

Keeps on booting us . Does it have anything to do with the show ?

or is it just black tape ?

Isn't all this shit brand new ? What's with the black thing ? Oh , because that's the broken ethernet . Oh , ah , sorry , all right , moving on . All right , we're good now . Okay , we're golden , all right , and we're frozen oh boy , oh yep , we froze .

Wow , we were putting out some content 10,000 episodes . Hey , downloads 10,000 episodes .

I was like what the fuck are we doing wrong ? We haven't talked about that yet , right ?

No , I don't know if we're connected . No , we are , we're still live .

There we go . Should we save that for later ? No , actually , you know what . That's actually a good thing , because I see the stuff scrolling on the screen , if you guys are listening out there and you hear how desperate we are in our voices .

Alright , we were three grown men preparing to cry in my mother's basement .

I sleep in a drawer . We know the end is coming . So , listen , if you're out there and you're feeling a little frisky , whatever donate some money to us . Don't feel ? You know , feel free . We want to get , we want to be a household name . Unfortunately , it's very hard work .

Listen , motherfucker , we can't get people to like and share our shit , let's do that .

So , anyways , if you want to do that , go to our website the take a deep show dot com . The take it deep show dot com . Go there , sign up to our email . Can't remember the last time I checked it . Anyways , it's OK .

Follow us on Instagram and Twitter .

It's like at TID I feel like I'm working in LeBron James' sneaker factory sometimes , sorry , too soon , no , no , no . We're good , we're good , but we have to give a shout out . We're going on almost four years . August will be four years . Yep , we started in 2020 .

Yeah , of course .

And I think that's the hardest part . That's why I love you guys to death , because we're still doing this . We still have a dream , we still have a goal . What's going to end up happening is one of us is going to end up killing each other yeah , and my money's on Kevin . Oh , I ain't dying .

You'll never get past Gunner .

He's fast Gunner's upstairs . I'm winded when I look at him , but we want to give a shout out to those who've been with us since , since day one .

That would be Pat and I yeah .

The loyalists

A little fuck you email . Yeah , we got an award , we got a fucking . We're fucking telling you about it .

Listen , I got a participation award . Oh , oh and Well we , Well , I mean , I'm sitting there looking at the ribbon oh , um , oh and we'll , we well , I mean . I'm looking at the , at the ribbon , I'm like it doesn't make me feel great , like should have been a nicer color . Yeah , give me like a free porn or something like something bright , you know .

It's the consistency thing , so the more you , you put out , the higher you go up , of course , um , it's just everything . We switched everything , so we're back outside the top 10 . We gotta , we gotta , pull our way back and is that just like just their thing ?

yes , like not combined sort of stuff not well , while I showed you , if you look up the analytics of what our numbers look like through Buzzsprout Dude what happened to my phone .

I think the internet's going crazy in this house .

No , like everything , I'm signed out of everything .

There's a lot of solar activity going on , so it could be like Just saying man , Listen , Mork From .

Ork Nanu Nanu . That's probably my biggest fear . Is the world ending us being told last minute ? But how Asteroid , Asteroid last minute . But how , like , how asteroid asteroid asteroid or unknown solar flare that's going to fucking hit us and burn us to death well , if we're going to go , there's no place .

I'd rather be in a studio . I am yeah .

I'm going to KY myself up . We could probably that .

I'll burn quicker we could probably hide behind . Pat , let's have sex .

Now with the fat guy . That was not an offer , I know . I know I'm sorry . Is this what you say to your son when , like , if I walk by , let the boy watch , watch the fat guy . We fat shamed him .

I'm just happy it's off me for a change . He needs to know .

He's got to watch . If he's going to float away or explode , all right .

So asteroid or explode All right , so asteroid or solar flare yeah .

That , or the shit that's going on with Yellowstone , where the lava is coming up , dude , if that happens . If that happens , it's the movie 2012 .

Yeah and sort of , but like we're not going to be able to fly away you know Yellowstone .

How's that going to affect us over here ?

I'm sure we can find a Russian guy with a B-52 bomber . Honestly , bro .

Yeah , like the size of that thing and the way the Earth rotates and weather patterns .

Yeah , the explosion alone will put you into a nuclear winter We'll put you into a nuclear winter .

Whatever happens , there is going to be here in a matter of a day and a half .

You know you won't see the sun explodes .

The safest place to be is probably like under my belly . Oh yeah , I was sued Hide under my belly . Yeah , Like that's really . Probably . The safest place is Mexico , the mountains of Mexico Now that I think about it .

That's not so bad . The cartel , the ash and everything it's going to block out the sun .

Just for the immediacy , that thing pops right . Think about the way the earth rotates and weather patterns yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah .

Think about the first time you were with a squirter oh man , that was such a good time sorry sorry , like it's what club , was that at ?

it's gonna be like a my wife watches the show from like the , the ground zero point , like it's gonna . It's gonna go like a fucking triangle okay , but but what's gonna go ? Ash and earth . And you know , like the , like nice , the ash is gonna kill you . It's not even the ash that you see , it's like the microscopic fiberglass .

No plants will grow .

No sunlight .

You're not gonna be able to grow crops . Animals are gonna die Because they're not gonna be able to feed off of the plants .

So we gotta eat everything fast . So take that Tongan Volcano that exploded underwater and like sent all that fucking water Into the atmosphere .

The Caribbean version of alive , like .

Take that and times it by Like a thousand , you know Like something that like blew up , like , maybe like the Pompeii .

They said Yellowstone's a super volcano yeah , dude . And that if it erupts , it'll literally destroy the Earth .

Like when ? No , well , it's not going to destroy the Earth , like it's going to be a cataclysmic event for sure , but it's not going to just end life . Most of it Well , like it's happened before man , it's a repeat and life pressed on . That's the big question of what happened to the .

Incas and those motherfuckers back in the day , Because there's a period of time when most of the population of the Earth disappeared . The dude that was on Rogan discovered that time period . There's a possible time period .

I'm pretty sure that was smallpox and the Spaniards .

So if this happens , is that what I have ?

It was those fucking white people again .

So if this happens , and two very liberal-minded millennials survive . How long do you think the two guys are going to bang each other , trying to knock each other up ?

It's going to be like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure .

I remember the last thing they said was we could have a baby .

You want to try , we could try .

They said it was possible . There's an emoji .

There's an emoji .

What emoji there's a pregnant dude emoji . Yeah , you haven't seen that . You want me to send it to you .

No .

Shut up , bitch .

He's coming back . I thought we talked about this .

Sorry , sorry , I sorry sorry , and you know I thought I got a night off . Man , like I don't know about that , not like the more and more that like shit's going on . It it's it . Oh my god , man , I 46 now and being younger as a kid and not having any care in the world whatsoever , what goes on .

Well , ignorance is truly bliss .

And now it's just like I'm afraid to step outside one day and just do you know ?

what's funny is we grew up in the height of the Cold War .

And we had no idea , no fucking idea , other than the Cuban Missile Crisis . We grew up in the height of the Cold War and we had no idea , no fucking idea .

Other than , like the Cuban Missile Crisis , which was maybe the height , height , but it was a thing yeah , I feel like there were two Cold Wars , like that Cold War and like what came after . Yes , the pre . I tear down the way .

I see it is this , because of the whole flower situation is the same day we get invaded by aliens is when Yellowstone happens and they negate each other out , and that's when you're like , fuck , I just wanted to meet one of them .

Maybe the aliens will save us .

I fucking sure hope so and hopefully that alien is like that little dude from um . What was that movie back in the day with that ?

Howard the duck , howard , anyone .

That duck Ice anyone ?

Uh , no , actually , yeah , um , here you go .

Oh , you're going for glass too . This is a special night .

So what was that movie ? The dude , the kid that was flying like that silver , the silver spaceship . What was the name of that movie ?

Flight of the Navigator . Yes or Howard the Duck , howard the Duck , disney movie .

So it's gay . I like Leah Thompson in that movie . She's in that . She was in Howard the Duck Piece of age .

It's crazy . You see that movie . I was watching a short Back to the Future too .

What about Leah Thompson ? Sorry .

Is that Marty's ?

His mom , his mom in high school . I'm sorry , all the right moves that's oh his mom , His mom in high school .

I'm sorry . All the right moves , that's all I have to say . Yeah , one of the most underreported pause scenes in VCR history .

Okay .

Would that be ? What about the ?

No , what about the no ? We all know what the most Paul scene is .

Yeah , jamie Lee , jamie Lee Curtis , basic With the vagina .

No , no , children , don't you know You're porn ? I I know Fast times at Ridgemont High .

Oh , dude , it's definitely Fucking Sharon Stone With basic . Well , she's , she's top three . Oh gosh , she , I know fast times at Ridgemont high .

Oh , dude , it's definitely fucking Sharon stone with basically well , she's taught she's top three . Oh gosh , she was so fast , all right , so .

So like I know what you're talking about , Fast times at Ridgemont , high Number one .

you're talking to Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool .

Yes , of course Right , but that's topless dude Like we're talking snatch . We're talking snatch on VCR .

Take it Right , you know .

But you're talking , we're talking most paws First of all snatch bro . It's about snatch there's definitely more people living in the 90s than there were in the 80s .

You're talking about 90s snatch . That shit was not fucking trimmed .

Oh , yes , it was . That was the beginning of trimming . I disagree . They may have Took down the edges .

It depends , they more treated it like a hedge .

You could have the Jean Benet or you would have the Hitler . The edges it depends . Back then they more treated it like a hedge . That was not back then . You could have the Jean Benet or you would have the Hitler . You know , like 70s , it was like a willow tree . What the ?

fuck did you just say ? I remember what Opie and Effie would say the Jean Benet or the Hitler .

Jesus fucking Christ Could have said like landing strip , bro Grass , on a few blue balls , a few other terms , we could you know Fuck .

They called it the Jean Benet . I'm just repeating what they said . Maybe it's you . I think you're right Now that I think about it . Give me another scotch . It is me , Kevin . Maybe we should have a . We got one of those reclining chairs .

Dude , all you gotta do is pull the lever on the side .

Don't pull the lever . You're going down .

Oh yeah , nope nope , oh shit , he's taking everything away .

Oh , we're good we're good .

So , Doc , this is the way I've been feeling the past few days . I feel fat . I've been really fat shamed and I was wondering what I gotta do .

This is my advice to you Drink heavily .

He was gonna say balanced diet . I know exactly what he was gonna say .

Maybe one less serving . I was gonna say listen .

I mean , maybe if he didn't make mashed potatoes so often .

Oh , so it's my fault . I mean , could you make broccoli ? Once in a while listen Maybe if he didn't make mashed potatoes so often yeah , oh , so it's my fault . Could you make broccoli once in a while ? Are you saying I gotta go keto ?

Does the household have to go keto ? For you Come carne fucking diet . It's called a meat diet .

This is a wide ranging conversation , by the way .

Seriously , man , it's all surrounding my fatness 90s Fox JonBenet .

Back to Pat Aliens . It's crazy you can't say Hitler on the air anymore . No , I was talking about the strip . I understand what you were talking about .

But we don't want it misconstrued . Why don't ?

you call it the Charlie Chaplin bro what ? Why don't you call it a charlie chaplin ? You know , like can't we make that I see .

I see where your argument is society . I see that , like I see where it is .

Yeah , why don't we do that at chaplin ? That's chaplin , or charlie ? Call it charlie chas , or is that too ?

like the chas , gotta deflect . You don't want to make fun of the germans ?

yeah , can we call it the chaz Is Charlie to Vietnam . No , I'm all for that one . We don't want to offend right Like we're . Oh , that's offensive .

We're trying not to offend right , this guy I used to work with . I used to tell him I was going to go buy a rice hat and chase him around the office with my paintball gun , around the office with my paintball gun . Is that wrong ? Is that incorrect ? Society doesn't like that .

Ladies and gentlemen , we have breaking news . I don't think there's anything breaking about this at all . No , it's from Rollingstonecom . It's real .

Is it a real thing ?

No , okay , we were just voted the most racist podcast .

Breaking news . That was actually on time , you should have let that play . Okay .

We'll just edit around that . That's going to be the whole show .

We do apologize if we're offending anybody , but whatever , we're just trying to have some fun .

Really , we're apologizing now . That's what we do . I'm thinking about my fat belly . You got to move on . I'm really depressed over here . You got to move on . I'll have another you got to .

That's the problem .

Wow , wow yeah .

Sorry , come from one drink , joe , over here . What ?

What are ?

you talking to ? Does it make you aggravated ? Did his fucking ? His engine runs on fucking Bourbon and mashed potatoes . He doesn't gain a pound . I don't even think it works on that .

I don't know , really know , what's going on behind the scenes , so I don't know if Miss Thunderson is , we're robots . Possibility Kev .

Listen , if you keep making those fucking mashed potatoes , I won't give a shit .

Yeah , let's do that . I need a fucking little whip sound . I don't have any whip sounds . You okay there , buddy ? What's the matter ?

Knee just popped . Oh , I thought , you What'd you ?

do you were ?

sitting I moved . I moved Did you get bit again . You're sitting in a chair the whole time and you popped a knee , yeah .

We're all about popping knees over here with some horny jazz . All right , why is it ? Is it horny jazz ? Is that how it's labeled ? It says horn jazz , so I'm not wearing my glasses . Same , good enough .

Trumpets Sousaphone .

All right , so we need to decide

All right , he sent me another text . Can you no longer hear ?

us From the looks of it . I don't think we're good , I don't think anybody's listening to us .

My phone died so Merciful , solid , mercy , kill Solid .

I could have made the show tonight if you gave me a heads up . I'm off next Friday , if you guys want . So he's trying to force himself in , but he can force himself in anywhere he wants to , he can take a deep cell block .

Oh no , no , no , you can't say no , kevin's a cellmate .

You know , I kicked the shit out of him , right ?

Oh , here we go . Can you explain this story , because it's the most ridiculous Actually , before that . Don't , don't explain it .

Wait until he's here . You know what He'll tell it .

I know he will he , and I have that story too . You know , Yep , it was a much different time . We got breaking news .

Let me ask you a question , matty . Actually let me ask the listeners out there as well .

I'm just saying last time that guy ever fucked with me . Well , that's not the breaking news , kev .

You're popping Achilles tendon , getting out of that chair to fight him . Now . When is Give me a minute to warm up ?

Let me ask you a question when is the last time you woke up in the middle of the night and you decided I gotta go to the bathroom , oh Jesus Christ . And you pissed all over your dog's bed . Not only pissed all over it , did you guys hear that ?

I'd be very concerned if I was pissing on a dog bed and the silent assassin showed up , because where the fuck am I at ?

He even knew what he was doing .

When I was made aware of what I was doing .

Perhaps , maybe you should start from the beginning .

Perhaps you're like why stop midstream right ?

Perhaps you should tell the story . Okay , mr Rob's , so it's kind of funny it's a couple days ago , yeah , very , very recent um what were you doing during the day or evening um drinking ?

obviously no . No , I had a . I had a couple of drinks , but I wasn't like drunk . I was probably more high than drunk Gummy high , or I don't get gummy high .

Oh , that's right .

I forgot . You're impervious to that . Well , last gummy I had you might have , no .

Actually after seeing what you look like , dude . That day I was smoking the fucking meat in the driveway Like what did I eat ?

I didn't feel those 15 gummies yeah , you're like oh , these taste good , they tasted great , but they taste . I didn't . I didn't feel anything .

I think I got less filling anyway um , so um , yeah , uh , the middle of the night um got up take the leak , you know um is there .

Is there a master bath attached to your bedroom ? There is , yeah , okay , there is . Yeah . What part ? What part of the room is that on ? Is that on your side of the bed , or you like have to walk around the bed to to the bathroom , which happens to be on the assassin side ?

so if I were to get up out of bed , yeah , it would be on my side of the bed and I would walk that sounds so much easier , though , if it's on your side of the bed so it's a far walk .

What you explained sounds like six feet no no , no , it's not at the , at the Aubrey state , that's like four rooms .

So if if you're thinking about it from the downstairs area , it's probably like the middle of the room with the piano in it that nobody goes in .

What did where ?

The front door , the one that's .

Okay , okay , the part that's Okay , okay , okay If you cut . The only time we use that is If you cut that room in half .

Yeah , it looks like where the border's been crossed a few times .

Right . So like front door to like , I would say like the refrigerator . It's a bit of a walk . Okay , you know it's good , so is it 15 steps ?

Is the room you know , is your room square no ?

no , no , no no , no , it's got a couple like corners and yeah , there's like the front bump out with the little fucking you know , polygon the Bellini boosters , sort of bathrooms on your side of the room . Yeah , yeah .

Where's the dog bed located ?

It would be straight at a 90-degree angle away from where the direction of the bathroom would be .

So where did you end up ?

Directly right of the TV .

No , right in front of the TV that's mounted on the wall when the dog bed is underneath the TV a complete 90 degree angle away from where you should have been yeah , yeah and about 10 steps short no , so you did you okay here's a real question how far is it to the dog bed rather than to the toilet , did we ? just cover that .

you have to take like an electronic scooter or something from your bed to get to these places . It's a big fucking room , but I digress . Did you go ? Austin Powers on us . So what happened when you got by the dog bed ?

I was woken up , that's the best way .

I can put it that's the best way I can put it . Well , you were peeing so hard . No , no , no , no that you woke your wife up from a fuck .

Don't say , don't .

You say no , because she said she woke up because of the noise well , I'm just saying he made a big jump in the in the timeline of the story here not really .

We were at the dog bed I'm beginning to conclusion like that .

I'm not denying any facts here , I'm just saying like big jump , but yes .

So just are you paying is a corner . How hard must he have been peeing to wake somebody up ?

I like a fire hose .

So what had happened was that's how hard I pee when my belly releases a little bit .

You know , like I thought I was in the bathroom . What do you want ?

man , it's so bright in here you didn't even reach to pick up the fucking toilet seat .

I can't remember the last time the mirror was fucking talking . It was so bright . Oh , it's the TV .

Mandatory thing in master bedroom is toilet seat is always up . That's how I run my household .

So after your wife uses the toilet .

I'm just kidding . I was going to say she has to put the toilet seat up , dude , you think if I was peeing on a dog bed ? I'm concerned about the toilet seat at the toilet , no , not at all .

That's when you turn and you're like I hope you fall in , if God . Hopefully that was the toilet seat at the toilet . Not at all . That's when you turn and you're like I hope you fall in .

If God , hopefully that was the toilet . I mean , when I'm pissed I'm not even going to lie when I'm pissed at my wife .

Sometimes I leave this seat up in hopes that she stumbles in half asleep and pops right in the toilet .

Yeah , I hope the porcelain bruises you . I definitely do that Purposely .

Oh , purposely . Oh yeah , fuck yeah dude , fuck yeah man . You know what ?

I'm gonna let you're like a little drip right there . I'm just gonna walk out so you're pissing like a fucking racehorse . Apparently it wakes your wife up pissing enough to wake a person you're pissing like sea biscuit , bro .

You were pissing like sea biscuit .

Thank god it was on the dog bed , because that would have been a fucking puddle were you peeing on any of ?

the dogs . I was just going to say this . There's still an investigation out as to if any dogs were R Kelly'd . Does that count as a storm out ?

Now , usually I don't do this , but uh go ahead and break them off with a little previews of the remix .

Now , I'm not trying to be rude , but hey , pretty girl , I'm telling you , the way you do , the things you do , reminds me of my Alexis Cooper .

Oh , my God yeah .

Yeah , yes , yes , ladies and gentlemen , cps is involved .

Fucking ASPCA was involved .

I got someone coming to look at my fridge next week . I don't know what's going on .

You want to get R Kelly by the ice maker .

Oh .

The only thing that would make that story better . Is if the urine went through the floor Into Pat's room . That's the only way it would make it better .

No , I said to him Imagine I was downstairs here , because every now and again when the dog pisses I'm like Kevin . What the hell is that he freaks out thinking it's water and it's fucking Scout the behemoth Just letting loose .

Yeah , there's a spot , the behemoth Just letting loose . Yeah , there's a spot in the floor that there's like I would have been like A perfect storm of like a gap in the flooring where there's like a seam in the plywood . Leave it to Scout to find it out ?

Yeah , and if his fire hose was going up like dude , this place is going to flood . Is that a spare ?

There's fucking urine everywhere .

Seriously , the fly there's fucking urine everywhere .

Seriously , there's an R Kelly gangbang going on upstairs right now . Are those dogs underage ?

I heard him say something about golden showers .

Oh my god , yeah , I'm owning that shit . Changing Gunner's name from Gunner to Goldie .

Goldie Hawn Enough dogs have pissed in my house Might as well be some of my piss . You're like , yeah , take this bitch .

I can just see Scout .

Many years ago at the fraternity house , we had a dog that wouldn't stop shitting in the house .

Scout , probably would have been like that , just accepting it .

She's such a whore .

He loves me . She would have been like Salon Selectives commercial Dude that dog .

That dog kills me Because every time she walks by she'd be like She'd give me a stare down . I'm like what the fuck ? And she'd come over Fucking paw . Love me , you have been banged out 40,000 times by Gunner . Matter of fact , Gunner was Fucking your face last night . Get out of here and stop trying to lick my face , the only thing left here .

You know you're taking this home .

I'm attractive . Her fucking meat curtains are hanging down to the ground like a wizard's sleeve .

It's like Pat at 2 am .

Roast beef sandwich . Now I'm hungry , I could go for a roast beef sandwich . Now I'm hungry , I could go for a roast beef sandwich .

I'm gonna accept this and maybe I'm going to Cameron's on the way home .

I'm gonna blow myself up . Oh yeah , cameron , could you show us how to work the board before you do that ? Nope , and matter of fact , matty , I can't show you how to use the board because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing . I think we haven't we've figured this out . I have no clue what's going on . I'm like , oh , look at that red button . That's it .

Fat guy in a little coat . I'm sorry , dude , I'm sorry .

I don't even know . I don't even have sound effects for that shit .

You're right , kevin oh , you brought the fuck jar sound back yeah , you're right .

You're right . I'm sorry , I'm fat and I accept it . At least I don't have a dicky-do . That's all that matters to me . What's that ? Your belly goes further out than your dicky-do . Ooh , as long as I don't have a dicky-do , I'm good . Sometimes it's a little difficult to lean up at night like I'm doing .

Can we start talking about the aliens again and all ?

I'm doing is I'm turning three degrees what the fuck ? And I'm all in cramps . Kevin , I'm going to start doing ab crunches , let's go .

Three degrees port yeah . Maybe start start walking around the neighborhood .

You know that's what I do Walk around the neighborhood . Who's the fat guy ?

Take Gunner for a walk .

Who's the fat pedophile ? Which house does that guy live ?

in . Seriously , you look like John Wayne Gacy Fat . Who's a fat ?

clown . It's a fat Ted Bundy .

Seriously , it's the fat queen fan . He's got 16 chins . He thought the camera made him look fat . Look at him in real life .

It's like Stay Puft Marshmallow man . It starting to get this starting Just more and more depressed . It's OK , starting to get uncomfortable , yeah .

I need to eat . I got to eat my feeling .

It's a pasta to make myself feel better .

I'm going to go out and get a pint of ice cream .

I need cream cheese .

Well , it doesn't help that I eat fucking . I hardly eat , but when I eat , it's fucking macaroni and cheese . A lot of mac and cheese .

Every now and again , some cold cuts and then what do you put the ham in the mac and cheese . No , that's a good idea .

That is a good . You know what ? I got ? A couple of boxes upstairs . I still got some ham left .

You should wrap that shit in the ham like a rollatini .

I might even grill the ham for a second , for a second Wrap the mac and cheese in the ham like a rollatini .

Yeah , but then you gotta , you gotta kind of cook yeah you gotta cook , gotta cook , throw some cheese on it . I'm ready to die from my heart exploding . Let's go , maybe some bacon .

Yeah , some lard . I'm so hungry right now . What do you got upstairs ?

Seriously , and it's hard to be skinny when I'm at the Thunderson's Well Cause , when , mr Thunderson , the Thunderson's are both skinny . Let me tell you something about Mr Thunderson cooks the Thundersons are both skinny Let me tell you something about Mr Thunderson's cooking .

And Thunderson's daughter is also skinny and she fucking eats carbs like a motherfucker . Obi-wan's pretty skinny too . Obi-wan is skinny , I don't bring him up , though .

He's like transparent . It's like a twig . It's almost like the movie Cocoon . That's why he wears the cloak . I thought he was a wizard . I'm like , wow , you show up Real wizardry , sketchy , more like it . And what was it the other night ? Oh no , he's sitting at the table .

You just want him to run downstairs and lose his shit , he was microwaving something .

Yeah , and you said it was a pizza bite , like french fries pizza rolls pizza rolls you don't microwave pizza which are also horrible it's it's acceptable .

no , sorry , it's it's more acceptable than French fries . I think I'm very it is .

I'm all about texture .

Maddie , let me ask you a question Are you microwaving it or are you going to suck it up for 15 minutes ?

I'm not saying what you're doing . I'm saying it's more acceptable to microwave the pizza rolls .

Is it 2 am after a bottle of bourbon ?

No , it's like 11 .

At 11 o'clock at night . I'm probably throwing them in the microwave , right yeah , like lunchtime-ish Lunchtime is , I'd probably throw them in the oven , don't get me wrong man 400 degrees . I am Air fryer 6 minutes .

I am always ready to get on it Actually 5 minutes in the air fryer . Air fryer , 400 degrees , boom , Crispy as hell . It's still molten . And you know when you're so hungry , you want one of those pizza rolls and you're like , yeah , I'm going to eat it .

you go with Other than marinara ? Nah , it's too .

It's too heart burning hard everything that went with it be in the bite itself pretty much like you're not like , don't ?

you want a ?

little pizza bite . You ever have a fried ravioli when you dip a fried ravioli in kevin you , you red sauce first of all , I don't know if you notice this gut , but it takes work .

And if I had pizza don't fucking talk to me like that Wow , this escalated quickly . I would get pizza bites and mix up ketchup , mayonnaise , hot sauce , pepper and garlic powder . Ketchup , mayonnaise , hot sauce , the green chilies , salsa Verde no , what's the Fuck ? How come I can't remember the hot sauce Sashios ?

Chula Smurgles . What else is fucking green man Like what the fuck is green it's .

I know what you're talking about the green hot sauce , but it's also like a regular hot sauce , but they have the green pepper hot sauce Right .

So where the fuck do you think the ketchup and mayonnaise mixed with anything ?

on a pizza roll . I'm telling you right now , no , you would be at . No . I'm telling you right now no , okay , nope , okay .

Nope A cheese pizza roll Shaking my head too .

Dude , I don't care what you're saying there . Emeril , roll you should .

There's a reason I got this ? Yeah , because you're eating fucking pizza rolls with mayonnaise .

You'd be very surprised how good it tastes late at night . Don't fucking doubt me and my utter obesity . Okay , I might as well get vaccinated . I have underlying effects . We're done , that's it . I've been fat shamed all night .

You fat shamed yourself . I'm going to fucking fat shame my dick on your face .

You fat shamed yourself . No , kevin , this all started a week ago .

It was a long . Oh , this happened in a week Dark cold night , that's all that took was a week .

Wow , how long have we been fucking talking to each other ? An hour and 15 . Because nobody's fucking watched us at all . So what , that's fine . See , you know what you ?

need more of Dedication . Nobody's fucking watched us at all , so what , that's fine , that's fine For some . See this you know what you need more of Dedication , that's a good word . You got any mayonnaise upstairs ? Yeah , I'll eat it right off his fucking spoon . Let's go Some hot pepper Pizza bites A little flavor A little zing .

Mayonnaise and ketchup on ground beef is okay .

Now I see why I'm really fat , because I have a lot of mayonnaise and ketchup . You're making me hungry for the Whopper .

Well , I mean that Mike's mayo is . You know , maybe next time it'll be salt and pepper Right or some turkey .

Have you , by the way , tried Jersey Mike's yet how about you have a piece of turkey and a piece of lettuce ? How about that ? Have you tried Jersey Mike's yet ?

No , you know what ? I'm not going to try them anymore .

You know what ? Well , you don't have to get mayo on it , you can get it in Mike's way . Doyle and Bennett say it asshole .

We don't want you to try it anymore . After we heard your stories about fucking ketchup and mayonnaise , you're disqualified .

You put mayonnaise on a hot dog Hell . No , I'm just checking . Oh , I'm sorry , I didn't mean to fucking offend you .

You've got to understand , though , when you're mixing mayo and ketchup , it's just , it's fucking ghetto French dressing . So time out , that's all . It is Not with our derelish .

That's Russian . That was an island . I've never had mayo on a hot dog . But now I'm curious , you know like , have you ever had it on it ? No , have you ?

you have , can't you tell ?

oh , it's shifting thoughts , are it's ?

my cholesterol's through the roof . Four degrees to the right like thoughts sites are on maddie now like I almost feel like it could be . See , I like this because of the boom arms .

Now we can turn , or it could be not bad right .

You know what ? It's the hot dog flavor .

I need to know what he's going to say right now .

I'm thinking of the hot dog flavor .

I don't know what you're going to write home about .

But it's the hot dog flavor .

I get a hankering for a hot dog with mustard and onions . I don't get a hankering for a hot dog with mayonnaise . Yeah , that's like .

Okay , I didn't even want to tell you what . That is All right .

I mean really , my thinking is this A hot dog's like bologna . You want a dirty dog .

The only reason why I ask is because in Avengers Endgame , tell me , tony , the very beginning , beginning like the Hawkeye kids family scene oh , yeah , yeah on a hot dog just like piqued my interest is all .

I just , I don't know it's the . I'm just thinking like a hot hot dog with hot mayo on .

It just doesn't sound right but I've had hot things with mayo on it .

Yeah , but a hot ham sandwich with mayo on it just doesn't sound right , but I've had hot things with mayo on it , yeah , but you have a hot ham sandwich with mayo on it ?

yeah , that's . That's totally different , it's just the taste , yeah , you know , you know the taste of the do that I never .

Never understood that . But yeah , people I've had it .

It's not you don't , you don't notice it you know it's right , it's like it's good you don't notice it right the taste of the hot dog , which is all the lips and assholes that are left over .

We're the hot dog . We just call it the hot dog . Lips and assholes , you know Great outdoors , bro , we're the hot dog .

You know , old 96er , the fucking man .

I still love hot dogs , always going to love them . Yes , yes , absolutely .

Have you been to the new place when All Time Hot Dogs ? Where is this ? It's in the CVS Plaza in Carmel Cross and Putnam Plaza . The guy used to have the hot dog truck on T11 .

Oh yeah , I saw that on .

Facebook . Yeah , how is that ? It is pretty good Now see .

Cross and Putnam , yeah , where the old Pagoda Kitchen , where KFC is Like by .

Sal's .

Yes , a food truck . No , no , it's a hot dog . He got it rented a storefront . Oh , brick and mortar , yeah . Instead of doing dirty water because he got thrown out of the place by 311 , because this fucking town sucks , he decided the parking ride , yeah .

He decided to do glory hole dogs .

No , no , no , he used to be out . You know what they do . They sell the honey , sometimes 312 .

311 , 312 . 312 . What a big difference , bro .

Glass building .

I'm just saying dude big difference .

Yeah , your fucking directions are horrible . Eat shit , gotcha .

Yeah , yeah , yeah .

Okay , north and south . Okay yeah , really yeah . Okay yeah , really yeah , okay . I was actually Dying to go today For a couple of dogs I couldn't get out , but you ever go to Wandering Dave .

Yes , I thought you were Going to say Wandering dicks . I was like what ?

Those guys used to , because you're Where's Wandering , dave Gay , those guys used to Drive a dually . They used to work At Clock Tower Grill . Uh , dooley , they used to work at clock tower grill and uh , yeah , yeah , um kind of fucking stole Some recipes and shit and open his own Fucking thing .

First people . Sorry , I think that's what we need . True , we need a good fucking hamburger place , like a burger place Red Rooster , something new , something new , something different .

Do you want me to go burger place instead of food truck ? Well see , would that be easier ? Yeah , Of course it would . You have one menu item . Yeah , like 47 burgers you would have to do different kinds of burgers ? Yeah , but you have one source ingredient . It's a big difference .

The forecast is rain , burger Wow .

What would be on a rain burger , aside from the jack sauce ?

The polyurethane that was put on that table yesterday Just waiting for it to dry those old onions that they used to put in , like fucking the medallion onions , like a cream sauce .

The pearl onions Like pickled the pearl onions Like pickled pearled onions .

There you go . That's it right there .

On a burger . You'd have to have a fatty Farben burger . Yeah .

So you know what ? No , I ain't making that .

That's why your coat don't fit .

I'm not gonna eat that . Give me a blooming onion burger . That's why you're .

Koto , why can't you just fry a fucking onion and put it on a burger ? You got to talk about his culture . I just want an onion ring . I mean , jesus Christ man , with some ketchup , that's not right .

How about a veggie steak bro ?

Perhaps , maybe you should eat an impossible burger .

Maybe give it a try . You ever hear of broccoli .

Maybe the next time you make fucking ribs or something .

Matter of fact , the only way you're going to be able to live . You become vegan Because you're going to explode . Able to live . You become vegan because you're going to explode . I'm dead . Fuck that dude . I enjoy my body . It's my fucking playland , my motherland , whatever you want to call it . I'm going to throw up on my soda glass .

Okay .

Oh fuck , Mm-hmm .

There's nothing wrong with a little bulimia a couple times a week .

You know I take everything back , that I said nice earlier . I do not love you anymore . You know , intermittent , I hope when you fix the table it falls on you now . And the fact I can't pick it up to save you . How about that ? Because you can't bend over , for no , exactly , I'm already out of fucking breath watching you .

I feel like the audience missed out on what I just said . They did .

We're done . What an hour and 24 minutes . What a waste .

Look at this guy , king of tying knots . We can edit this down to four minutes . Fat , fat and fat . I'll tell you when we get off schedule . We get all fucked up .

I think that's what we need to fix .

How do we do that ? Maybe like Zoom , yeah .

Zoom , or perhaps not get fucking obliterated . You know research and shit like that , you know .

Or maybe we have like a Wednesday plan like meet at the fucking studio , have a dinner , talk about shit . You know what you know .

That's what I think . It's nice for the the guys . I just have to walk down a flight of steps what does that mean ?

like I feel like you guys are the guys that are walking down .

Did you tell him about the fake ruler ?

you know I'm a leg to see if , like , I feel , like I'm not one that has to worry about , like , like fucking getting in here and feeding you .

No , you don't have to feed us , but fuck , it's hard enough to get here one day a week to do the show . Now I got to fucking come here for another night .

Well , Matty there's sometimes , I really think there's some excuses . Oh is that where we're going with this , patrick . I figured I'd put some attention on you , since I've been called fat all night , jesus . I figured I'd put some attention on you , since I've been called fat all night , jesus . I think I'm having a heart attack Again . It's because you're fat .

Shut up Kevin .

You know you survive a stroke . Dick On air .

Yeah , come back the next week and do it Actually actually , coincidentally , Austin went downstairs and peed on him and I was like , ah , ah , ah . He came upstairs and I got pissed on him . He didn't really move much . I feel like Corky from 8 is enough .

Oh , sorry Wow .

I don't think you're fucking old enough to make that reference , man , why ?

I think this episode is now entitled Corky .

Now Shane Gillis is going to hate us now . Fuck Shane Gillis . I love Shane he . Now shane gillis is gonna hate us now because we're making fun . Fuck shane gillis too . I love shane . He's fun he is fun .

He is great . If he doesn't like what we do , fuck him no , he don't care , dude .

What was it ? His saturday night live special , he said the first person that contacted him was kid rock you've done something really wrong when he's like the first thing . He's like how do you think you did ? And he's like you know , when he asked you that , he's like fuck , did I fuck up ?

You got a question why Kid Rock's the first one blowing up your phone in the first ?

place . The fact that he said retard and then started talking about all of his down syndrome Family . Some of the other skits that he did Like totally pushed the envelope from normalcy . What Saturday night live does my ? Just because they've been , they've been what they've been down the gutters for how long .

but none of it was anything he had never done before .

No , exactly , you know , it was all old material that he and I thoroughly enjoyed , because I used to love watching Saturday night live , growing up to where it was where I couldn't watch it anymore . It was horrible , and they did a complete 180 by bringing him back after they fired him .

So I was at my friend Ray's for St Patrick's Day and he just had his backyard done . Fucking beautiful fucking big ass patio and outdoor bar .

Like beautiful fucking big ass patio and outdoor bar like beautiful fucking setup . Wait , kenny just said texas toast bacon cheeseburger . Okay , rookie , what are you adding on that there , kinger ?

probably mayo and ketchup . So we're at this party and , fuck d , I start getting fucking banged up like I normally do , because that's my role yeah , sure man . So there's a bunch of people , non fraternity brother around and I say really loud in front of everybody I'm bringing back the words retard and faggot .

I am proud of you for taking a stand Faggot . It's a long applause . They're still going .

I deserve that Big Bowling , god're still going .

I deserve that .

Big .

Bowling . God damn , yeah , what was the other word ? That was all night man , jesus . No , I totally agree . I was telling him earlier . I was watching a scene from Rescue Me .

Oh , Dennis Leary . It was Dennis Leary .

Yeah , him . Earlier I was watching a um , a scene from rescue me . Oh , dennis leary , yeah , and he was taking like the sensitivity training with all the other guys . Oh , that must have been phenomenal , dude . I'm listening to it . I'm like this would never fucking be played right now , because he starts . He starts saying chinking and gook about chinese people .

Absolutely nuts . Well , it's like blazing saddles .

I'm almost starting to feel like we should have brought this up in a live show . You can't what .

Blazing saddles is a lost . Oh you , that humor is lost . Like I'm sorry . It's funny , it is , it's funny people . Do you want to see it ? It's jokes . Oh , you're going to play it .

It's jokes , but in the same sense Send it straight to the fucking email . We're going to play this right here . We're going to get in trouble . You want to get in trouble ? Yeah , damn , let's do it . That's what we do . I was trying to talk like Conor McGregor .

That did not fucking work out . You sound like Corky again . We're going to change our logo Matty Orbs and Corky .

We'll put a helmet on the shot glass . That's just terrible . I feel like Paul Thorpe .

He got so mad at me that I wouldn't respond to any of his messages . He unfriended me on .

Facebook .

Oh really yeah because he was probably yelling out some racial slurs . All right , this is what Kinger says about the bacon Irish cheddar garlic mashed on the burger .

No , no . If I want the chipmunks pie , I go to an Irish joint . I wouldn't go garlic mash On the burger ?

No , no . If I want a chip with pie , I go to an Irish joint . I wouldn't go garlic mash , I would probably do like a potato pancake .

Like we're not talking , 3 am wasted burger . No , we're talking about something people are going to pay for .

Yeah , like this underbelly .

To be honest with you , the Texas toast thing I could take or leave . I don't particularly care for it , you know .

honest with you the texas toast thing . I could take or leave . I don't particularly care for it . You know , it's like a brioche , it's like a grilled cheese with a burger in it .

Yeah , exactly anytime I made when I was living in poughkeepsie , like rider loved when I made burgers with a brioche roll but I put a ton of shit on it . Yeah , oh , that's a great foundation for a burger . It it is Toasty McToasterson . That's why I'm fat . I got it , kev . I totally got it . We had double burgers .

I also have a triple cheeseburger . I'm getting a hankering .

All right , so we're going to share this with . We're going to share this right now , Okay , so everybody out there who's watching you're going to see this . This is a clip from Rescue Me back in the day with Dennis Leary and a bunch of other people the day with Dennis Leary and a bunch of other people .

We need to break it . Let's do it .

Fucking roll film man . Let's fucking go

Can I take it ? It's prejudice ? We all think , okay , we have a hand up .

You think you're prejudiced ?

Yep Against who ? Well , let's see Chevy Neons . It costs $12,000 to buy , but have $8,000 paint jobs and nine spits inside them smoking weed , that's one thing .

Okay , now listen .

The term spic . That's okay . Well see , that's really not Crazy chink broads who don't know how to drive in the first place . And now they've got cell phones stuck to their ears while they're doing 65 miles an hour down 6th Avenue . Got crazy chinks on bikes with 10 pounds of Chinese food strapped to the handlebars .

See the word chink is what I like to call a problem word . If I were a chink , I'd rather be called a chink than a gook .

Okay , now hold on , listen to me please . Chinese people would not like to be called gook or chink , or pan face or zipper head .

See , that's another thing . What about for the Ricans ? We get shafted , even when it comes to races . Chink's got what Like four ethnic slurs . We get one Spick . That's it . The Irish , they got Mick Patty Donkey . Italians , they got Guinea Wap Dago , yeah , spaghetti .

Bender Ah , Spaghetti Bender went out of style during Cedantro's first match . Get even Greaseball , yeah , greaseball .

There you have it . That's four , that's right . You know what ? Same thing with the Jews , right he Pike , jew Boy Benny .

Shylock , that's book , giant car baby . It's endless . Totally unfair yeah .

How long ago was this show out ? This was on FX . Yeah , what Are you kidding me ? Like how long ago that show wasn't out that long ago First matter of fact that was one of my favorite TV shows of all time , Personally .

I thought that was an early episode of Take a Deep Show for a second .

We were just testing the waters right there and see if we get canceled or not . There's a couple he forgot .

I guess you can only go so far .

Listen , unless you want to make another table buddy .

Holy shit man .

We're going to zip it , we're going to keep that quiet . How does that sound ? See , I miss shit like that , because now , if you think , any of the movies that came out in the past would not even be able to get released today .

Well , the Little Rascals ? They don't play the Little Rascals anywhere , it's the White Spot .

What'd you just say , what ? What'd you just say what ? What'd you just say I don't .

You said Snow .

White , I think I just sneezed .

Ladies and gentlemen , it is March 22nd , 1024 pm . Is this a conspiracy theory when the fuck did that come from ?

Was that the New Age Disney thing ?

Yeah , yeah , man Right .

Let's find out . Breaking news . Breaking news Disney just announced or Kevv either way , I think kev's boots on the grounds in disney . I think it was disney first , so you got it from disney . It's uh , snow white's black well , so is ariel .

And like isn't everything disney black now yeah , it's well .

Are the dwarves black ?

no , no , no the dwarves they're not dwarves anymore they're not dwarves , they are what's the ?

title they use story shot oh no , he not know this .

I don't think he knows this . Oh god , all the dwarves were replaced by little people .

No , lbgq , lbgq yeah , yeah , yeah , versions of them . Yeah , you don't know that dude . Oh god , come on , man like , how old is this dude ?

like fucking really .

Yeah , like , like . First you're looking at me like you're all judgmental . Now you're looking at me like you're all judgmental . Now you're looking at me like what , like , really Like yeah , yeah .

In July 2023 , footage of the production from Berkshire revealed that the depiction of the seven dwarves have been reimagined for the film , consisting of only one actor with with dwarfism , along with six other non-dwarf actors of varying ethnicity , six males , one he peering the dwarf . Like what the ?

fuck . Can you wait for the ending , please ? God damn it , man .

You ruined every movie like just listen to the facts bro it said after initially denying reports that these images depicted the actual film production , Disney later confirmed that they did indeed depict the production , the stand-in actors substituting for the leads , the already confirmed actor Martin Kleba not appearing in said footage .

I can't believe you didn't know this man why ?

As well as potentially taking away acting opportunities from the dwarfism community .

Why ? What was wrong with the fucking story ? Our parents grew up with the fucking story . We grew up with the fucking story .

You're like canceling yourself out . Stop yelling .

Why .

I think it was from the rumor of the gang raping the dwarves gave Cinderella back in the day , or Snow White .

whatever , it was a big orgy . She dressed provocatively .

Yeah maybe the wind blew . Probably was Snow White man . Same difference Like she wasn't dressed .

She's definitely no Jessica Rabbit . Oh no , definitely not . No , that's why I'm fat Fucking Jessica Rabbit , that bitch , yeah , can you imagine that Was ?

she feeding you .

I have no words . A little suckle from her breasts . Did you say suckle ? Yeah , Nice . Anyway .

Would you actually go for milk or breast milk ? Yeah , like you really , you're drinking breast milk .

I don't think I can . Don't use the word suckle , then Do like a shot of it . Like a shot Can we put ? Like Like you watch lactation porn .

Where are you going ?

I'm going to pee .

He's going to look for snow . Well , we could probably call it quits . Anyways , we're an hour and 40 in .

Can we trim this down to like 15 minutes ?

No , we're going to release all this and get canceled right away . All right then , I don't care , follow me , we'll solve our production problem we will no longer need to hire a producer problem solved done uh , fuck , but now it's it's .

For one of his jokes , one of his bits . So you can't tell jokes anymore in the world , dude , that's our only , I think , our only safe haven . Well , you know what Scotland All they have is Braveheart . I guess I get why they're pissed Well he was Scottish .

Yeah , well , no , was he ?

Kev was .

Braveheart .

Scottish .

Was William Wallace , scottish .

Yeah .

Okay .

Okay , yeah , they were fighting the English .

I know he caused a whole war because they killed his woman . Yeah , that's my favorite movie of all time . It's a great movie . Great , are we ?

still doing this . Yeah , retard . Okay , I didn't know , brought it back . I brought it back , see that worked well it did .

How's your feelings ? They're fine , awesome . They're Awesome , all right , fine .

See now if people can learn from our example . Not retard , I said retard , retard .

Yeah , yes , if people can learn from our example , much better place to be living .

Did you know this ? Did you know that a comic got arrested in Scotland for hate ?

speech . Did you hear about this Scotland ? Scotland's arresting comics depending on if they're acts at all . Cohen's is like having any type of hate speech in it or you know whatever it's jokes . Some dude got like arrested for a year for his shit . Who ?

Some fucking comic actor and the fuck Meanwhile they have one of the biggest bullshit out of everything we've said tonight . That's the thing you're going bullshit .

Meanwhile they host one of the biggest comedy festivals In the world . I hope no one goes .

Scotland does . Really , how are you going to host a comedy festival if you can't tell jokes ?

That's what I'm saying . You got to worry about making people laugh . You know what I mean . That's what you want . You want to create laughter for people , get endorphins going , get people all happy and you're trying to Fuck that . I will .

You know what we need to bring back the hell with retard and faggot Roman war helmets . We need to bring back the purge .

Has that ever happened .

I would like to think it probably did . I could see that actually fucking . I would really like to bring it back into vogue now . Into vogue .

You go , madonna , let's go Bring it back into vogue .

Wow , sorry , I didn't mean to use a word that was above you .

I mean , I can't remember the last time I was talking to somebody and they said Vogue , kevin .

I mean with that hat and jacket dude , I would think you would know what Vogue meant . You know that was a reach A little bit .

I saw you working on that one . Still a jab , don't matter whatever . See who helps you up when you need to walk again .

I didn't hear no bell rock . I don't know if that's a jacket or a tank top .

Hey , Tommy , I didn't hear no bell . What'd you say ? What'd you say fuck him , I'm gonna pee on your bed tonight .

That would be fantastic if you went upstairs and pissed on your dog bed . What the fuck ? I'm sorry .

Pissed on your dog bed . My feelings have been hurt and I got no idea where the bathroom is Like no offense , bro , I'd kill you , I would Come on . Come on , how funny would it be if I ran upstairs , I peed on the dog bed and now I woke up ? At least I wouldn't be fat anymore after that , Kev , you would . You'd just be fat and dead .

Actually , I would blow up with gases . You'd still be fat . Every day you would be less fat , wow .

I don't even know where to go with this . It's awful .

What music do you want to end with ? I think we don't need another hero again .

I'm gonna play that , that logic song , the suicide hotline one you guys maybe want to like zoom next week for yes , for the episode . It's his schedule . Oh gee , I'm sorry . No , it's not a bad thing , it's called , it's him , it's his , it's because he's because he's doing regular family things .

He's the one that's fucking this up all the time

See , I could call in , I could Zoom , don't poke the bear .

Now you're calling .

I don't even know if Kevin knows what zoom is .

It amazes me that he figures that out .

I mean , yeah , it's come close .

I could figure it out , as long as he doesn't send it Like . I don't know what happens when he sends it Like it doesn't work .

Right , I send it to your email it works for me Right , like right or wrong , it never works . It works for me , right .

Like right or wrong , it never works . It works for me . Yeah , I'll have to tell you that's right . Maybe you should take a whack at the microphones .

You know you take a whack , Kevin . You know you can take a whack of your fucking face . I can't wait for this next show because you are going to catch the wrath Something fierce .

Me . Yeah , you Go get the fuck out of here , why , seriously ?

Why ? Because I'm going to make myself look like .

When we put this one out . I want you to listen to it . You've been very on the forefront .

Oh , what did you think of Candace Owens getting fired ? Fired from what Daily Wire Because she got into ? What did you think of Candace Owens getting fired ? Fired from ?

what Daily Wire ? Because she got into an argument with Ben Shapiro .

Oh really , she got fired Like I don't care , I understand , you know .

Like Sorry , cool guy .

I don't care . I don't care Honestly .

I'm on my popcorn break . Does he have a poster of Candace Owens in the ?

room or something . I'm sure her being fired From the Daily Wire is not going to get her Silenced , so I don't really feel bad For her . Or you know , like I don't know , like how am I supposed to feel ? Like , what'd you do ? Like , what'd you say ?

She was using some fucking terms about rabbis , like anti-Semite sort of stuff , I guess , so I didn't get the full detail of it .

So Ben Shapiro went all bitch . I like Ben , he's funny .

I don't know he's funny . I don't know if I like Ben . He's smart . You ever see him . I'll give him that . Did you see ?

him review the comedy stand-ups . I don't think he's funny . Oh , those are funny . You got to watch that . I don't know about that man . When he had Shane Gillis he was like reviewing it .

While I will watch him on occasion , he's probably my least favorite . Yeah , yeah , fat guy we .

What , what , huh ? That's why we share dreidels every weekend . Made , that's why we share dreidels every weekend . Made them out of clay . Dreidel , dreidel , dreidel . I am so fat . Dreidel , dreidel , dreidel , I just want a pretzel and a dreidel . I want to fit in a hat . Why is there no cheese in a dreidel ? Dreidel , dreidel , dreidel .

Pat , I just want to eat you . You want to go to McDonald's ? Get a double quarter . Let's go With Big Mac sauce .

Do they still have the ?

double Big Mac they do . I can't eat it . I've yet to have it .

A couple weeks ago I had a Big Mac Because I haven't had a Big Mac in a long time .

I love a Big Mac , it's so messy Really .

Yeah , I didn't have the double Big Mac , I had a regular Big Mac , a regular Big Mac's messy .

Yes , the double Big Mac . I couldn't finish it . What I had to give it to my son ?

Get the fuck out of here , bro , this guy never says no to food .

Look at this guy .

I need the scenario to where you , you rolled up on a double big mac .

You need to tell , you need to pump your brakes , tom Hanks , from fucking Philadelphia right now . Whoa what If you're going to pick on a fellow fat man ? Us fat men are going to stick together . High five . Philadelphia .

That's good , bruce . Oh look you fucking . You offended him .

See , oh , I offended you Like what I called you , tom Hanks from Philadelphia .

Like you got AIDS .

Like why Did you see Tom Hanks ?

in Philadelphia . Yeah , something I need to worry about . Guys Like what are we talking about ? I guess I have shit to worry about too . Well , I mean concerns , yeah .

Well , that's why we're trying to do double Big Macs , yeah .

We are paid . I feel like one here that should eat one .

Well , most AIDS victims need that . You need some food , you need the protein Jesus .

Christ .

Philadelphia .

I thought Magic Johnson ended AIDS , what , what ?

the fuck kind of comment is Magic Johnson ? It's like herpes . You don't go magic . Johnson just made the three and the days , bro magic johnson got eight . He just made it yo .

He just made a floater like 1989 , man like , like he's good , you know like haven't we like , conquered this ?

of course magic had millions .

You can get a lot of fucking drugs oh , you mean money buys health and , yes , prosperity and stuff like that anyone who said money doesn't buy happiness never had any very true , man , very true , I concur you playing uh philadelphia by bruce streets of philadelphia , streets of Philadelphia . It's sort of an upbeat fucking tempo .

Not anymore AIDS . Right , you got them . Oh , you're dying Tom Hanks , you're dying bitch , you're dying AIDS .

Oh fuck , You're dying . Oh , you got that shit . Oh you did , You're dead , bro .

You did I think for our next show we're going to start drinking around six , no , and we're going to jump on it like eight and we're just going to go to like midnight , as long as we follow a fucking formula Like we're doing now .

All right , it's time to call him fat . It's fat time . It's fat time . It's your dick . What Philadelphia . I loved you in that movie , tom .

Did anyone ever tell you you look like Tom Hanks ?

More than Ben Affleck or fucking .

I've gotten Denzel before and Ben Affleck are fucking . I've gotten Denzel before .

Ladies and gentlemen , that's where we're going to end the show , because that's blasphemy and that shit just does not roll in this studio . Denzel , what ?

From Glory . Oh , you're saying Philadelphia , right ?

Yeah , but Tom Hanks , yeah , you're Tom Hanks , ro .

Oh , oh .

I don't know how the hell you mixed that up .

Denzel was in there too , right .

Yeah , yeah , but Denzel didn't have the .

AIDS .

You're talking , denzel , philadelphia I said Tom Hanks , you're talking , tom Hanks . I thought that was 13 times I was thinking something totally different , sorry , sorry . Oh yes .

Sorry , sorry .

We may have to take another week off from the show after this .

Sorry , who sang this song . It's the End of the World as we Know . It REM . There's another .

The singer .

That , or who's that DJ Moby Moby .

Moby Dick Wasn't Callan .

Another one Not happening ? No way , no , how . Who's this guy ? King of dying nuts ? All right , that's time for us to go . Oh my God , what time is it ? Look at this guy .

Someone put a bullet in the chamber 10-41 . Okay , well , hey , the new cameras were great . Hey , put the chair there . I like the bourbon barrel in the corner Right . That's a nice thing . It's been the best thing about tonight so far .

Yeah .

I love the positivity . I love it . Best night of the night so far . Best thing of the night so far Is just the fat shaming that's been going on . I cannot wait to go to sleep and roll over like a fucking walrus and get a cramp . Ah , ah , God , I didn't even move .

Don't forget to wake up and throw up and then go back to bed after your double big back .

You know we do a little bulimia , no , but you know intermittent bulimia .

Like listen , yeah , then I'm gonna get a throat cancer . It's not that bad as though you know .

Like he's fat and he's dying of throat cancer because he's a fat bulimic no dude , we'll let you know all the AIDS like .

Honestly . Thanks , tom , you take a solid month . You hit that fucking bul . Plenty of slim down real fast .

I'm not going to take any type of fucking health advice from you , pal .

I was just thinking like , after you're done throwing up like aren't you hungry again ? Yeah , aren't you going to eat some more Might as well , double up .

Dollar menu . Let's go . I'm fucking starving right now . To be honest with you , I'm hungry . I haven't eaten all day . That's a lie . No , I haven't , I swear to god . I've been here all fucking day . When the fuck did I eat ? Maybe have a pocket dog , a dressed up hot dog , in my pocket , just for that occasion .

When you get hungry .

I swear to god , I did not eat anything today , okay . You didn't even toss one salad today I can go for some talent . It's healthy no , jelly or syrup no the fuck do I have jelly or syrup scissor so random yeah , but you got it .

Yeah , I did , he didn't oh he't , he's just mad about it .

I don't think he did man jelly or syrup it's weird when we have to explain it , man let me know . So I want to be like . Is it awkward ?

we'll tell you off air no , you will not .

Don't be a retard . Let me know , is it awkward ? We'll tell you off air . No , you will not . Don't be a retard . Don't be retarded .

You tell it .

Oh , you tell it , you're the one who says it .

You tell it . No , he knows what I'm talking about .

What's jelly and syrup ? You don't Jelly and syrup , did I Chili ?

and serum . Isn't that weird to explain it Right , like yeah , he's taking his fucking headphones off . Unbelievable , we're done here .

This will be , Ladies and gentlemen . We have reached zero viewers . Just Google it . This is our last episode ever .

I don't even know if we should put this on Spotify .

We will In like nine weeks .

Fucking new table . Man's going out on air . What Jelly , what ?

Sir , what the fuck are you talking about ?

Oh dude , what we do in life echoes in eternity .

T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T .