¶ Thanksgiving Food and Lost Episodes
scale .
Now .
I found myself like you somehow .
Oh , ride the wave where it takes me . I hold the pain , release me . Oh hey , oh , hey , oh nice , this little pop , what we doing ? Live Echoes and a challenge Shoutout to an explorer . I Know it's crazy . It's like every time right before I'm like , yeah , I get very excited . Yes , I Think we're at episode 84 .
Nice still , if I , whatever we're somewhere , I Mean we could throw a few on there . We're probably like 112 . Yeah , we have a bunch of lost episodes . Yeah , shit , it's no , it's shit that Kevin and I recorded that . We don't know what to do it . I could , I could dig those up and be like release . So is this the lost episode exactly ?
Can we wait till we hit a big question ? If we put those out now , they might suck none of our solo shows made it . Straight into the trash .
That would kill him if we got like 2000 downloads .
I that might kill me if we got 2000 . I don't know , like I don't know , I probably feel fucking . So you guys later fuck you Now which way we're to the fucking son of a whore . Sorry , you'll find it . Oh yeah , ladies , gentlemen , welcome to the ticket . Deep show , episode 84 5102 , fiverr yeah 85th yeah , it's 505th .
Okay , all right , we're in , let's go . How is everyone's Thanksgiving ? Uh , good , it's good . Yeah , I didn't like what was crazy . I didn't eat that much and I wanted to . I Feel the same way if I felt like I didn't eat anything . Now I felt very fulfilled , had a great meal at , um , uh , just his father's house . It was there , was this .
Somebody made these potatoes . Oh oh , new side , I Can't even remember what they were . Just , it was almost like a Alfredo , but it was Alfredo's Cheddar curry and the where they sliced , yeah , but it was like it was minced up .
So it was like you know , chunks of potatoes , okay , and it was like just this potato and cheese Dude , so fucking good , wasn't crispy , which I'm usually into the texture of crispy Nice , it was an old grottin Now . Maybe it was on top , or like fucking , it was a little crispy on top but everything else wasn't you know so good . That's the other .
That'll make it for the . I made a mashed potato that would rival mr Arby's mashed potatoes . All right , where are they ? Oh , they were gone , did it ? Five , five pounds of potatoes didn't make it off the table now . I don't believe you know good mashed potatoes , because you would have saved that I Couldn't . There was an unleft , everyone fucking a .
You should . As a smart man , you should have saved some so him and I can taste , test it and then like I can compare the . I just have to make them again .
I Do what you do different lots of roast , a garlic , yeah , lots of roasted garlic , like five heads of garlic in five pounds .
Five pounds , five heads of garlic , three sticks of butter and like a fucking tub of sour cream . Oh , so good . That's the holy trinity there . Yep , the holy trinity of widow makers . Yeah , they definitely took some years on some lives .
But I am shocked about the amount of garlic . That's a lot of garlic .
It was a lot I was a little nervous about , but oh my god , I came out so good . Then , like the second , he said that like that many , that much garlic , I'm like hmm , somebody was breathing heavy there , but it's roasted .
It's different .
Yes , yeah yeah . I even . What about desserts ? What I have for dessert , oh , I had a fucking great apple pie . Yeah , my , my brother-in-law's in-laws brought an apple pie was pretty good , it was okay . Now , what's your favorite type of apple pie ? I'll a cart or a Recap with the scoop ice cream on it .
I mean , is it even apple pie if it doesn't have the scoop of vanilla ice cream ? Depends , because there's some apple pies you can eat without the fucking vanilla ice cream . Yes , I agree . I agree . You know how yours was . Like , what was your favorite food of the day ? Beef Wellington . Beef Wellington on Thanksgiving .
What are we talking desserts here ? My cousin makes a berry pie . I don't know if you had any . He was upstairs and then in the glass pie did what was the other ?
No , just hit my head . Remember . There's two things yesterday that you did . I was like God , it's just so fucking Poojee of him and both of us were like laughing about it . What the fuck was it just pop . Sorry , I interrupted , it just popped into my head and I had to say it .
So I don't know , aside from having beef Wellington for dessert , no , dude hit first of all that fucking thing he has in his kitchen , that Amazing silver box . The brave who ? Yeah , the brave , that's what it was . I was like what was ? He said the brave , I was like the brave is it was at the .
The air fryer , slashed toast or oven does everything except Suck you off and jerk you off . Are you sure it doesn't does a lot ? Did you try ? No , during it feels like it cuz it's cooking so , but now I do that . That thing's fucking fantastic . Comes with a basket to put fries in . What does he cook , fucking ?
So you could reheat fries in that as opposed to putting them in the microwave ? He .
Wasn't reheated . I don't , I don't recall . I don't recall . I don't think it made the airs . Can we cuz ? I think we had audio issues , yeah . Oh you gotta remember he was like cooking them fresh out the freezer , like he wasn't just reheating them .
Maybe it's got things to do . You got any time to cook , please , please , what the fuck oh , we'd be outside on the deck .
Where were they ?
like did I even said they send it to you guys . It didn't know me . I Never sent it to you , huh . So that means it's still in my fucking thing , what's ? Uh , that don't mind us people . I hope you find it . After all , I will find it Such a lot down .
No , it's not . The audience is growing . They're patiently waiting , I know .
Fucking glass . You're late at lady classes you didn't put a chain on those yet .
You know they go in your eyes .
Can't fucking get it on , bro . Technical difficulties . Please stand by , beautiful . All right , where's he ? I found it .
Yes , we lost four viewers while you were putting your glass .
No , we're okay , Okay , so here , okay . So here's the background to it . So I , kevin , was drunk one night .
I mean , that's a hard word to use he Not in this case .
However , we're all right . Well , we'll have the audience figure this out . So anybody who's watching , all right , once you watch the video , do do us a favor . Comments . They're gonna see the video . Yeah , no , they're not gonna see the video .
They're gonna hear you audio . You get the audio .
Um , tell me if Kevin was drunk in this situation and if it was completely out of out of control .
Oh , back up to five , because we're talking about Kevin's drunk .
He drunk . And if you guys , if whoever's watching feels like it's out of control , give us comments on the you know , please Come interact , interact with us , you know , come , jerk us off Whatever you want to do . Oh , okay , no , kevin wants it . Wow , yeah , I'm me , I got across the line . How much ? How much you had ? I'm on YouTube and I'm gay .
Okay , rule tape , all right . So here's Kevin . This is . This is classic , by the way . Oh wait , I gotta make sure a Bluetooth is connected , so we don't . I'm sorry . I'm sorry because I had to take it off . It's a blueish hue , the blue blue hue . I said let the boy watch . All right connected . And here we go , here we go , here we go , here we go .
Listen to this . Why is it spinning ?
He's nuking french fries . Are you recording this ?
Spitting your commentary .
Like he , yeah Obi-Wan right there .
Obi-Wan pointing at his son walking behind him with a robe on , Really Like what sort of fucking texture , taste value .
Are you getting out of that man ? Ah , fuck man .
It's a man who takes his cooking seriously . Mind you , this is because his son put frozen french fries in the microwave . Fuck , flicks the cigarette . I wish we could play the video . I know Like I really just want to fucking run in the air and fucking scream at him . I may ?
do it .
That was windy that night . What kind of fucking environment did you grow up in ? Not mine . You're microwaving french fries . You're microwaving fucking french fries , really .
Ah , yeah .
Fuck you . So every time a while I do this , he like it's funny . Every time that's the whole , not mine , not mine . I could almost hear the cigarette flick . It's how hard it was it was done . Yeah , just watching that and you know how hard he's pulling on that cigarette Because how much brighter the fucking end of it got .
It like lit up the whole side of the house and then he takes it . That was it . That was it . So for those of you who were watching and just heard that audio , do you feel that Aubbs was out of line or do you need some real psychiatric evaluations ? I mean , are you guys okay with cooking frozen french fries in a microwave ? Good question , not okay .
Obviously I'm not okay with that . I was not asking you . We already know your stance . You made that clear .
Yeah .
I don't think You're going to get 99.7% of people who wanted in the oven or in an air fryer , of course , and then the weird.3,
¶ Soggy French Fries Discussion With Funny Moments
. They probably want them soggy with like mayonnaise . It's gonna be , good . Ooh , doesn't sound bad Delicious . You guys ever have soggy french fries with salt on it , a lot of salt , pepper , pepper . But I don't know . Do you feel I can ? I don't ? No , I don't think you were out of line . I think it was funny as hell . Be honest with you .
You were questioning yourself as a father there .
Yeah , like where did I go wrong ?
Yeah , you know what ? I can see that Well , tamanu takes his cooking seriously . Yeah , very much so , very much so . So last night I disappeared for a little while and I'm like , oh , you're eating some food . Go to Stop Shop , that's right , we can't hear that . I'm working .
I'm freaking out right now , I feel like .
No , I feel like a UFO is trying to communicate with me At Stop Shop . Yeah , yes , I was a little and I was so hungry and I was just walking around . I ended up getting you grabbed everything in sight , didn't you ? Like ? Store brand season French fries , horned mel , chili and scallions I mean Chili fries , chili fries and scallions and cheddar cheese .
As ghetto as it was walking out , wasn't a ghetto meal as delicious ? You put that in the air fryer , didn't you ? Yeah , it takes a lot longer , by the way .
It depends on how many , because what happened was it depends on how much you put it in .
Yeah , the time I put it in they were like that microwave soggy a little bit in the middle . I was like mm-mm . Kevin , I'm good mad , yeah . So I said no , can't serve that shit , I'm not listening to OV1 . No , no , you can't . He has the force .
You got to go your own way at that . But he had the robe on , with the hood up , yes , so it was like he looked like fucking OV1 .
You threw the casual OV1 as he walked by , not even yet Like he said it . He has no clue what he's saying on the inside . It's the second you said one . You just see it like he turns and he's like and just keeps walking . Is there no way we could play that video ? Okay , let me see . I should be able to share this to the computer .
I can put it as a fucking video . Nice , yes , I can . The audio is funny .
Yes , I can .
And we'll share that video so everybody can see it . Excellent , All right , we're downloading . Oh yeah , Because then all I got to do is go right there video clips , load it in there and just watch . Look at this to take it deep .
And not only that , take it into another level .
You guys get to see it real time because of the way I was videotaping . Yes , so , of course , as a good journalist , as I am , the second I saw him getting riled up . I'm like , let me just get my phone out real quick this is not propaganda , folks , nope .
This is legitimate . I was stumbling a bit too , wasn't I ?
You were like yeah , but it was you were doing , I was rocking . You had the drunk boxer . Look , you're like . You're like , like I was supposed to have a helmet on . You know , like I was ready for you to do like slow , like fast , fucking Rocky with the fucking toes , and just like I was ready for you to do that .
Oh yeah , really , you were amped up , I was pumped up , yeah . So I mean , everybody gets to see it now .
Thank God you didn't throw a Drago out there . I mean , I don't do it , drago , you know , but once this gets amped up , you can't shut it off . What , okay , as I'm receiving . What are you receiving ? Video , you're in for a treat . Facebook , the Facebook for five . The .
Facebook five , oh yeah .
They're going to fucking back to five . Yeah , there it is .
It's a take a deep show , taking it to another level here which is happening ?
How much of the screen is going to take up ?
It'll take up the whole thing . Nice . And why is it when we plan something while something silly happens ? All right , just give it a second .
We didn't just give it a second .
I don't know what . Whoever fucking invented Bluetooth ? You're a fucking asshole . Just stay connected , Unless I go dead . Stay fucking connected .
I hope my house isn't dirty .
Oh , would you worry about that ? All right , so , okay . So let's take a look at the video and we'll see it still says I'm receiving Okay .
Stay with us Facebook .
This is good .
This is good stuff . Something's moving .
I can't see shit , dude . I am so blind . One second .
We should have like the jeopardy music .
I got to get . I got to get a machined for those glasses , so you just wear them around the neck ? No , because what's going to happen one day , I know it , I'm going to poke my fucking eye out like one-eyed Willy with the glasses like one-eyed Willy .
Wow , we went from seven to three . No , no , it was what we went from seven to three .
Who the hell said we had seven . We had seven . All right , what's ? Is it my fault ? No , maybe it's always my fault , kevin . I'll just fuck him . No , I know it's always my fault , kevin , because I'm a fucking moron . Listen , if you're going to sit in the captain's chair , that's rapid .
If Kevin was sitting in the captain's chair , we'd be making fun of him . Who treats their captain like this ? He does . Yeah , you are fucking . You're what they call the people on the ship and that mutiny Mutiny on the bounds . Yeah , I like that . It's mutiny on the bounds . We'll walk around with fucking swords .
Nice , I probably cut myself , all right , is that it ? Yes , that's it , okay , perfect , so now do this . Do that fucking . Add a clip . Let's go . I'm for all you jerks that left us on Facebook . You're missing it . For those of you . Yeah , I apologize for the speed of my , my computer . Um , stick with us .
If any of you fuckers would just hang with us , we could probably get some sponsors and get some new shit , or or a little fucking person like Chinese person , or some sitting behind the basket and fiddling with the fucking buttons and shit . We can't have Chinese people . We need a producer . They're infiltrating the US . We can have Chinese , so what ?
Okay , if they are , then perfect spot to do it , because how much attention can you get ? Wow , no , wow , I mean listen , I mean that's the way , that's the way the country's fucking being run right now , so I might as well , okay , oh , you guys want to put it , I think it's just kind of like free falling down a hill .
Yeah , oh , so you want to put the comments , Can we ? Can we turn right out and get out of Albuquerque ? Why we went ? We went to a guard rail down the hill . Okay , right .
¶ Technical Issues and Audience Engagement Discussions
Whatever happened to our viewers .
What about them ? They're gone . All right Downloads . There it is . I mean , I don't even care if anyone's watching , because I want to see it again . Oh no , it's not going to . Let me fucking choose it . Why ? Why is that ?
I thought you had it all fucking queued up . I thought it was on the screen , yeah .
The thing you had before that was on the fucking the airdrop . That fucking , that's bullshit , dude To . Why can't you use it ? I have no idea . Yeah , fucking , fuck , well played , fuck , all right , fuck that video , let's move on Fuck it . Ah , fucking sucks , dude .
This is why this fucking thing drives me bonkers , because somebody behind the fucking curtain can fucking do it . I bet you the asses upstairs fuck it with the connection Like fuck these guys ?
No , it's not the connection . Let's see what happens with this .
I got a feeling it's because of the type of file . It is because I personally think it's because you're using it . No , look at , bro , I have the , I have the logo . I know you do . Look at it , I can do this . Oh , take a deep show . Hi , nice Hi . Oh , just pause . Where'd you go for us ? Just pause , just pause , take a deep .
You guys blow up , get your ninja . Oh , that came through , yeah that came through , yeah see , I don't know what the fucking the file type is right here , because you can't do that , move MOV , I don't know . Fucking cunts , cunts , no .
I peek is watching what's up , johnny .
What's up , john boy ? So I mean , can we like seriously , can we start maybe trafficking some , some producers ?
You would have played the audio for Johnny . He'd love that . Does he want it ? Does he want to hear it ? I'll fucking replay it . Yeah , why don't you replay that shit ?
I don't know why I can't fucking put it up on the screen . Oh , wait a minute , Stay tuned . Hold , hold , hold , hold hold .
Hold the log . Yeah , nice , nice , here we go , enjoy Facebook .
No .
That's fucking great , yeah Come on . I think we lost Johnny .
No , there it is .
Are you recording this ?
There it is Just getting your commentary .
Like yeah , ov1 right there . Oh shit , he was in the room . Like what sort of fucking Look at my hair Texture , taste , value you're getting out of that man . No , here comes the foot Fuck man . Here comes the foot .
Wait , wait , wait . What's it ? Even says Like where did I fail Humanity ? Fuck , I'm fucking releasing this on YouTube . Watch , watch , watch . Like I really just want to fucking run in there and fucking scream and I may do it .
Look at my little boy right there , my little counter .
The dog does meth Like . What kind of fucking environment did you grow up in ? Not mine , not mine . I love how he was yelling at the door . You're wearing your microwaving french fries your microwaving , fucking french fries , really .
Okay , I'm like hot right now .
Shit .
I was pretty drunk .
So that I like that . That's nice . So if you got , if you got videos you can send me , just send me , and I'll fucking put it up on here , and all I got to do is put present . Ah , I mean , we've been doing this for so long . I know nothing , nothing , nothing , but we're learning . We're still learning . Yeah , yeah , it's .
I mean , you know , listen , it took us a while . We got the audio figured out . Now , look at us , we're playing fucking videos . Now I mean , we're getting serious . Next step is 10 fans . I wouldn't go to 10 viewers at once .
I wouldn't go to F4 . We broke 10 , didn't we what ? I think the last episode we had a lot .
We were at eight . Eight was the max . I love our depression and we're sad . That's when we were like yeah , yeah , yeah , you know , because it's I don't know if it's frustrating or it's like what are we doing wrong ? Cause I'm like you know what we do . We do good content . Did we get any traction ?
on that interview . Not really dude , no .
No , I got to blast it out again . And what's nuts is like . I use , like certain hashtags for topics that we discussed His name , trump book , podcast , nomics , fucking anything that was discussed . We copied the summary , put it into chat GBT and I asked can you come up with 12 hashtags for what was discussed in this episode ?
Comes up with it and they're all pretty good , but maybe chat GBT is against me and shadow banning us on purpose because of the tax .
Oh , there's a twist .
No , what do you think I'm wrong ? Fuck , damn it . No , it's , I don't know . It's crazy . It's what can you do ? There's nothing . Listen , we just got to keep doing our thing . It's weird , the ones that . Did we get that one out on Spotify yet yeah , it goes to everything at once , so I must have missed when I was done . No , I would like .
And that's the thing . Like our advertising is shitty .
Well , it's zero , you don't do anything . Oh , I put stickers up . I went on sticker brigades , bathrooms .
So you put , take it deep . So stickers up in a bunch of ladies bathrooms .
I have like , I don't like I have .
Do you repost on your Instagram or anything ? I don't go on Instagram . You need to .
Oh okay , Do you repost on Facebook ? No , I don't really do much on Facebook . You need to Okay .
I wish I had a sound bite for you all . The weakest link . Goodbye Jesus . Maddie and I are fucking reposting like like we're fucking 18 year old blonde chicks that wears bikinis .
I probably take me like 10 minutes to figure out how to do it . Like that's how little I do things on stuff .
Oh , I'm sorry you don't have time If you put clan clash in front of you , that's a different ball game . It's called clash of clans . Whatever , clash of clowns , whatever you want it to be . Even though I play it to it , clash of clans Is that the one I play ?
No , that's Royal Met . Oh , okay , all right . Yeah , big difference , whatever .
All I know is this Can we , can we , can . We need to get some fucking traction . Let's kill it . Let's kill over a fucking chicken . You know what we need to do ? We need to get longer spikes , longer spikes , longer spikes , better traction . Oh , I think I thought you would get that .
Dude , maybe it's part of the cleansing man that needs to happen , like . Maybe we really got to do this , like .
I don't know , I've only been saying it for how long Since , since he burned time , and since my life , it was flashing before my eyes , kevin .
So I'm waiting . I can make something you can lay on and underneath we could put like a , like a fire of sage .
Time out .
Right .
First of all , I am not he just said he's going to burn it .
I'm not a rotisserie fucking chicken dude , dude , I think you need a lot of sage .
I think you need to be tied up to a spit . I don't think a little . You remember Conan the Barbarian from the 80s . He's going to put you on a hill , on a bed of wood . You set it off higher . Here we're going to put you . We got to do it down at the pond . We're going to put you in a boat with a bunch of wood .
Don't mind if I got gasoline going all over the place . We're going to push you out and then we're going to shoot some arrows at you , viking , that are flaming . Dude , I got a hose If someone gets out of control you're like oh , there's a kink in the hose Once you're trying to use it .
I know how you work and you're the one holding the kink behind your back . What are you trying to square ? I don't know . I swear I can see that I don't .
I don't really want to burn Pat , no no , I mean Maybe a little singed , not like a burn , you know , maybe burn a little hair . You know , dude , I think the flames need to like catch you so you're a real good cleanse , you know , all right , Maybe the last cleanse I had was when I was like maybe like a fire walk .
I think I was 11 or 12 . Oh , that's different . Oh , fire , okay , okay , like my feet , man , I probably fall and burn myself .
We could get enough sage to like make like a All right . So this is where you're at right now .
So this is not happening , then I'm never getting cleansed . No , no , why ? What are we going to Maui Fire walk ?
We're going to eat like a fucking cold .
How much cold are you going to cook up ? We need 800 pounds of sage to do that .
I don't know , man , you know , start stocking up . We could dehydrate it in the brain , though .
The Braveville brought to you by Braveville . Fuck that dude . Yeah , dude , my life's flashing , but it's okay . I was just . I'm like , even when I'm driving , dude , I'm like , hmm , some final destination , shit's probably going to happen today . This could be it . Yeah , I'm just ready for it .
So you tell people what happened today , what you found on the truck , oh yeah , oh my God . So I replaced my front brakes forever ago and I remember taking off my lug nuts , which was the fucking hardest thing to do ever , getting them back on . I tighten those motherfuckers , like you got to fucking tighten them .
Lo and behold , I go outside today Two lug nuts are off my front right tire . That's peculiar . I'm going to go ahead and tighten them a little bit , because there is no fucking way that I didn't see two lug nuts loosening up to where they came out enough , and I noticed like they were whatever .
Yeah , some . I pulled over as soon as I saw that . Like I didn't look right away , but when I saw what was being said , I pulled over because at one point today I felt like the fucking little swing . I was like , huh , that's weird . And then I was like , oh my God , he's fucking someone in the neighborhood stealing fucking lug nuts .
Did you have all your lug nuts ?
All there , all there , yeah , so I have , I have no , did you take a few offpads car to put on your car ?
No .
Like when I went out . I'm like what is Kevin using these for ?
Minor chrome .
Minor , minor spray painted black and the rusty , whatever they probably came out of the bay . Minor chrome from Belleville , bravil , bravil , belleville , bellevue was where I need to go after this fucking this day .
But I honestly believe that somebody .
Somebody took those off and I have no idea where the fuck I was parked for somebody to take those off , because they are fucking ridiculous , to get off and to fucking loosen it up all the way .
So are you sure you put them on ? I'm just saying , like if they're that hard to get off , I work like I want to see my my tire iron .
I bent the tire , iron and putting them back on , so I'm a little sketch with accidents .
Can you just like go get a little nut somewhere ? Yeah , yeah , let's go .
I'm just trying to figure out where it fucking happened . Somebody trying to kill me ?
Did you go ?
Is this for the ? For the not being cleansed ?
Did you go drive through last night ? Yeah , why . You go into Danbury , man , Danbury is a weird place .
No , I was at a .
You said McDonald's right .
Yeah , the one in Brewster oh okay , well , that's a weird place . So I drove in drive to no one's taking lug nuts off in the drive through .
Well , that's why I asked if you went to the drive through , like if you know , I'm trying to think where else I was where and you wonder when .
It pisses me off even more , like where were you Remember I got ? Did I tell you I got my fucking my truck keyed ? Did I tell you that ? No , you didn't hear that . I told you I parked it in front of Jess's house for like fucking 10 minutes and totally forgot I had something in the truck .
There was nothing wrong with my truck and like I noticed you see shit in this I definitely didn't fucking miss when I noticed it . Somebody fucking keyed my car from like this much left on the driver's side door all the way down to almost the end of the passengers back door , great fucking line across the truck .
¶ Assassination Attempts and News Network Banter
I'm just going to fair warning , fair warning .
Anybody got any life insurance on you ?
No , no , johnny's got it right . It does sound like an assassination attempt . You know what , johnny , that kind of makes me feel . You know , I'm not scared about that now , because what's the reason for me being assassinated ? Well , they know , you don't use your brakes , or they didn't bother with that ?
Am I doing something ?
Am I doing something that's causing a problem in the world ? You're a public figure . Yes , for four people .
Love you guys .
Truthfully , three of them are here to see if Jess Pauls comes on the show . Yeah , and what's even nuttier , though , is like the whole keying of the cars . I don't you notice if somebody's going down that street , and it was in the middle of the fucking day middle of the day , so where have you been parked for like an extended period of time ?
I don't even know .
Oh , wait , cause , like the , what about when I went to ?
stop and shop . Stop and shop , shut up , johnny . You know what ? Just because of that , there you go .
What'd you ?
do ? I just clicked it so you can see his comment . Can't give without hitting shit . Well , yeah , whatever , Johnny .
It don't matter , I drive I drive .
I drive like fucking . I don't drive well .
See , I think if someone was trying to like fuck with you , what about stop and shop ? They wouldn't take them off , they would just loosen all of them .
That's what I'm saying . You know what I ?
mean , were the other ones loose , like that's what I would do , like I wouldn't take any off , I would just make them all almost off .
Hey way to make yourself a suspect . Nice job . What did you just say ?
You know so the like .
So now now now we have to the fucking show . I got to go outside and check my lug nuts to see how fucking loose they are you really think I did ?
Come on , but that's what I would do if I was going to . You know , try to harm somebody like that . I would loosen all of them . I wouldn't take any off . Yeah , Murder he wrote . Just saying there's a proper way to do things . And there's , you know do we have ?
can we play the typewriter to typewriter intro ? Oh , we can't . We don't have the typewriter anymore , but we do have . We do have the BDNN , the lost tapes of BDNN . Do you remember what you were saying ?
On the BDN yeah .
Yeah , the intro . Yeah , let's hear it . Oh , he's just no fucking way . He remembers that News , right . All the deep news BDNN network . What ?
was it ?
I got sweaty Something you said , sweaty Dude , that was fucking great . I might have that . Yeah , I'm surprised it's not on here . Fucking shit , I don't , don't even try to find it now . No , because I have it right on the fucking computer and because I have a BDNN file which is it's encrypted .
Dude your face when I did the tire track comment because like nobody knew that was coming . What happened when I did the thing about the tire tracks ? You know , with the snow , tire tracks in the snow .
Yeah .
You know , yes , I know . You have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about ?
What are you talking about ? When , the when he has to turn his fucking truck around ?
No , no , when I was doing the weather report on the BDNN . You know I'm the weather guy . Yes , I do . Now I remember , now I remember . Yeah , your face is fucking priceless . You're like whoa , what just happened ?
I believe that was where we were introduced to a certain newsman's daughter .
Well , a newsman , yes , a newsman . A fictional character's daughter , yes , that's what you said A fictional daughter .
Yes , let me get that straight .
All right .
Let me get it through your fucking ears Fictional no , jesus Pied . Oh , somebody's starting to sound like a dictator again .
Well , I got one thing . That's it so oh yeah the fictional , oh yeah .
What is it ? What's that ? One thing , obi-wan Moving on you have Obi-Wan . That's fucking great dude . Now we Leah .
Funny . You say that I just saw a porn .
I just saw a porn when the chick was dressed up as Leah . It's funny you say that that's the first time you saw that . No , maybe I got to check my watch history . That's tallying up . That can take a while . That's why I said it's tallying up . Kevin , I admit it , I'm not going to fucking lie . Do you watch that more than the Scooby-Doo cosplay ?
Fuck . Cloud ain't full of pictures Play .
Uh-oh , is that why my computer's so soft ?
I don't know , Maybe man .
Oh , you're a fucking idiot .
We need to get that thing on microphone .
We were talking about the watch of my doozies , the little ones because we were talking about the wireless ones ? Yeah , just the fucking to use them in shit . So Beauty on end . Oh , you're really fucking pulling this up now . Look at you .
Well , I just want to hear the intro .
Yeah , well , that's that . That was pretty much all we did . It's like Sly Smothergood had a heart attack and how has he ended up being DNN ?
The guy said something like bringing you yesterday's news tomorrow today , or something like that . Right what ? I think I said something like that . Take it easy , Cronkite .
It's fucking . This is why I hate whoever invented Bluetooth . This is 98% charged , but hey , let's fucking . I'm fucking believe I hate technology . We need a little Chinese person . I mean , that's , they're all . They're all stitching Nike sneakers up , pat the bronze factory .
They're putting iPhones together . Man , there it is , bdnn . Where's that Taiwan ? Same difference . Where is that China as well ? Whatever , I think there's a big thing about that . What about Taiwan ? Who it actually is ?
but whatever China claims it , whatever , oh okay , so if it's a separated from I know you're talking about more disinformation damn right why . I don't know did you , did you notice anything during the week , members , since talking to the rush , if you've you've seen things where you're like okay , and now we understand why China's running everything .
Has anything happened like that ?
I don't really think so . I've had my head down for the past couple of weeks . Man , I don't really don't know what's going on in the world that's still doing that thing in Israel .
I'm waiting . Well , that's what I'm saying .
I'm waiting for the next big thing to come , so Israel's disappeared I just haven't heard anything . You know , I think I heard something about some hostages being released , or something those hostages got released like a yes , and Ross is a third wave of something release releasing . That's gotta be it .
I don't know . Let's see what it sounds like . Okay is , what was , what was the episode we did ? It's crazy . It's absolute hot dog down on wind tunnel and then we get it . Wait , oh , oh , oh , hot Mike . Oh dick , we're pet dick . What do you mean ? You can hear us , oh shit , oh , we didn't mean I wow , wow , did rain hear that ?
All right , just send our regards and we do apologize and we'll scratch out an apology email . Yeah , we'll give Maddie a demerit for that one , but oh , you know prayers , or whether we do , we need public apology .
I line stepped again .
Yeah , nice guy , welcome back . Welcome back to the take a deep show .
Hopefully you enjoyed our dude , we gotta go to the ones before that . Wow , there's a lot of BDN and holy shit oh , there it is .
Is this the intro ?
yes news no , I thought , was it no ? Why is it to ? Such a good song strong , strong news newly received . No worthy information , especially about recent or important events , brought to you hard news that makes you plumb sweaty like fighting crime . Batman's tights , that's . That's some sweaty tights right there . News brought to you deep balls , deep balls .
Deep news network hard , sweaty and balls deep . Here's our trustworthy , sweaty team eagle see freedom sing world news and political reports .
I thought it would be like , like if that's something we could do consistently started out sketchy there , but the voice got deeper yeah , like if , as we got into it , like , we did do like a comedic , like news , something you know I mean , but to add a little flavor to that because it's only three of us , we were worrying about a weatherman , we were worrying
about a fucking sports guy fucking . It got too many people .
I gotta listen to that one again .
That was a good one . There's a couple of them in there . I don't know which ones they are , though it just says BDN and the crew . What's that ? That's crazy , this absolute hotdog down there . That was the one you played before .
That's crazy . Go to the one absolute hot . Which one ? The one before it , that like somewhere on there , because that'll be the tire tracks , that's weird , you got so many of those .
I know well , I think that should be our entrance music wherever we go . How great would that be if we're like , seriously like something next . You know it's like and welcome to fucking wherever . Where's the fucking song ? And then you just we just walk up real almost old school fucking not old school like the anchor man .
Yeah , 70s , we should walk in with 70 slow mo with 70s suits on . Oh boy bro him , I'm telling you right now he'll love being in the 70s is always gonna be Brian Fontana like , but the hamburger hanging out everything now we were , we were talking .
¶ Time Periods and Fantasy Roles Discussion
This discussion came up last week . That's crazy . It's absolute hotdog down on wind tunnel , and then we get it wait oh , oh . Is that what I was ? Oh , my god , that's what that's what you said , and I repeated it .
That's what that whole intro to that was it yeah cuz we told was that we were like making fun of Thunderstyn's daughter and like the way , no , listen to the first couple words . I say we'll call her Rose , but listen to the first couple words . That's crazy . This is absolute hotdog down on wind tunnel . And then we get it .
Wait , hotdog down to wind tunnel hot mic .
Oh dick , we're pet dick . What are you hearing us ? Oh shit , oh , we didn't mean I , wow , wow , did rain hear that ? All right , just under our regards . And we do apologize , we'll . We'll scratch out an apology email or something . Yeah , we'll give Maddie a demerit for that one , but it was .
You fucking said something , I repeated it and made it look like we were fucking on a hot mic . I remember we planned it that way . That was fucking great . But any who we got into discussion with sorry last week , right with you are little thing that you put together for us tonight . Did you do that ?
oh no , no , it's not still putting the final touches on . You know that'll be ready next episode .
Sorry , you know nope , nope , nope , nope , you are fucking wrong .
I'm sorry , it's not . I drank a bottle of bourbon last night . I didn't get done . I'm sorry , I have a problem . I need help it's okay , you don't want to rush job on this . You know you want to see no , no , no .
We need rush jobs in order to get traction .
Yes , well , we could tease it for next week , just saying where is that weakest ?
link button . You want to get this week I . You know what this is . I think this is his behavior towards us for the whole eight off comments .
Yeah yeah , you think I'm passive aggressive a little bit little bit .
I could see dude . Yes , you are . Your middle name is passive aggressive . Let's be honest that's two words Kevin PA Aubrey . So now what ? What kills me ? For that I wasn't told . You're lucky . We've been recording for an hour . Fuck off this guy . I'm taking his name , everything and the fucking oven . You go head first .
Not sure why that was relevant , but okay , I thought you were gonna go last , now I was doing the smoke and mirror things at the US does anytime something happens . So I just let's have sex if they forget about the comment he just made . Okay , diving head first into ovens . I got you what they used to do in the Italian neighborhoods back in the day .
Yeah , I wish I was doing . I was thinking about that the other day . What's that ? What like time era do you think you would have ? You'd have done well in medieval times . I mean I'm gonna shut this board off right now after that fucking comment medieval times , yeah , yeah , you're that ? You know who you are ?
You'd be the first one to fucking run and jump over there you're the multi , the guy who's the . He fucking works both sides . You're gonna be that guy like the spy kind of sorta , like not what were they calling that ? Monks like friars . You're gonna be one of those friars , cuz you have the bald spot in your head . Fuck off .
I thought now you see how I work , that you see how I work that you'll never taste . I'm gonna write this down . See , tell me to write this down so I could do some stand-up comedy .
I just came back with a zinger on that .
You'll never taste anything take it easy , tuck , all right , tuck ops Aubrey tuck what am I transitioning ? And here we go . This is attraction we need earlier in the show hashtag transition that's great that's great right there . Oh no , so medieval for you yeah , slinging swords around that's .
I'm not gonna lie , dude , I'm listen , I'm a man . You don't have the don't give , you don't have the ankles for it , dude .
Yeah , don't get me wrong , I'm a man , but there is no fucking way I would ever go back there . No , dude , I don't need a wheeling fucking swords and shit . You're dead at 27 for a fucking tooth infection and you caught a bow and arrow .
I mean you take away disease and plague . You caught the what are ?
they ? Can't take it away . You take away with students . See , this is the problem , yeah , so you ever ?
you're choosing perfect world . You're choosing to go back to an era . You're not choosing to go back to get plague .
You know what I mean but that's part of the era .
You got it now like you could say you'd want to go back to like the 1920s , but guess what fucking Spanish flu ? You would have been dead , you know , like you could say this about a whole bunch of shit , you know .
So you're going back to an era of like the great part of it , not like the plague or like Spanish but how can you go back and exclude certain parts of it ?
That's the whole . That's the whole thing . Go back , exclude certain parts when we where we going with this .
Where would you ? Where would I go ? Caveman ? No , oh , me , and at all no , I would .
You know what man I'm all , I didn't catch it . I'm like , oh my god , he's a dozen straight singer . He didn't even notice it . No , I know where he's going with it .
Sorry , I'm a meander fall .
I apologize . It's fine , I'm all done with the conversation . Okay , get , carry on . It's like that time of evolution with the fucking . I Just want to skip over to from From the end .
No , keep going from the end of thought to humid .
It was baby Matt , that was the , that was the transition , hashtag transition . I I was saying like I think I was like the what year I Can see myself being a cowboy and shooting people ?
yeah , that'd be fun . You know , I think cowboy would be cool yeah .
You know he's all you . All you did was you get drunk every night and banged hookers .
Oh , yeah , in town , yeah , yeah Till you got syphilis .
Who cares about that ? Then you have a drippy dick and dear .
No , I'll be like that's from the saddle bitch , let's go . They had those opium dens . Oh yeah , I Think they go back to like the 18 that yeah definitely some fucking right right city oil trail smoking peyote , you know like . Like , settle your business out in the street with the fuck .
Yeah , you come on the draw me . Are you gonna draw all me ready ? Yeah , but you could . But you couldn't go out from the opium den to Drawing on the street , it wouldn't go . Well , I can , I can definitely definitely multitask .
I think just to walk through with saloon , but you'd be that awesome you , no , you're that like my ?
my vision would be I'm the , I'm the fucking Doc . Holiday version of you know of me back then .
Yeah , would you be like a bounty hunter ? No , I'd be a fucking . You'd be looking for the wanted guys . No , you know .
I just I think the whole drunk opium fucking . Hard-playing card , playing , fucking whatever . And You're just , you're the dude in town , he's go , he's quick , don't . I said let the boy no , don't , don't draw . I got a quick fucking draw and that was it . Oh , we're back up the six . Yes , I would love to be doc holiday .
Yeah , yeah , but the real Only from the movie , though . Yeah , of course the real hello , the real , the real girlfriend . Kate wasn't , wasn't a real looker .
I Think she had a little bit of sif problem . Thank you , you want to be doc holiday , you wouldn't ? You want to be like the saloon owner . You know something like that .
I would be saloon owner yeah . I have . You're the fucking saloon , fucking Boot waxing guy now , because that's where the girls are .
The girls are at the saloon , you know .
They got the stairs , you know but you're not the one who's who runs them , and it's cuz there's a fucking . What do ?
you call , it's your place madem .
Yeah , you know yeah you get the head madem that runs the girls .
Thank you , partners with the madem .
I want , I want the weight , the weight , the fuck . Apron , apron , sitting behind a bar .
On rollerskates would you have big curly mustache .
I definitely have the big curly mustache , absolutely .
I do my best to get one too , because that was the thing back then . Right Like that , shit's for badass .
The second leg .
I was , I was envisioning like I totally want to , like tie someone to railroad tracks .
Yeah , I could see that . No , but when I started envisioning his mustache and everything , then it got to like it just went straight to horns off his head . I'm like , oh , it's like a big steer , I like that's . I felt terrible thinking about that .
Wow , I Want to say that I love , and apologize , that I was thinking I'm sorry , yeah , the mustache , yeah , good , love it . Just fucking . I'd be riding you to town on a mule , yeah . But I don't know , dude , it'd be fucking great . But then you got to deal with all the like crazy-ass winters and no , fucking no heat in the house and just burning wood .
Yeah , you're in a wood structure burning , burning wood for fire . It's not , you know , not real safe . Yeah , and you catch a stray bullet from a fucking horse .
I could say the same thing about my house . At fireplace , you know , got a wood structure burning wood . See what .
I mean where he's not a big guy . Hey , sorry , Brownsville would you . Would you be able to make beef Wellington in that structure ? Mine , oh yeah , what did he just say ? No wood fire , woodhouse hello .
That's a great Keanu Reeves .
Brownsville ? No , I think it's . I would love it , though , that we . That was probably the freest time , if you think about Harley , and the Wild West ?
Yeah , hardly anything anything built .
That must have been crazy . Be like a gold brush or anything goes be minor . I mean Minor . Now who's who's your fucking black long real quick , no good brown the gold mining .
It's different than coal mining , that's it .
Oh , please do tell . Yes , I would love to hear your dissertation here , your lesson on this .
Well , I mean coal mining . You're breathing a lot of fucking coal dust from blasting and shit like that . So , like I mean gold , mine is totally different I know it's a lot less dust and gold mine , oh yeah .
Yeah , dude , it's due to the stream . Yeah , oh , you mean you just sift into the street . Yeah , like that's just no dude , I gotta have patience
¶ Vacation Plans and Random Conversations
. I wouldn't be out . No , no , fuck this . I'd be there for three seconds . Nothing here , yeah , but would be the first cowboy in the West with OCD . I can't fucking Me love , I'm fucking out of here . That's it . Yeah , this bullshit . What would I be shooting the gun in the war ? Bang , bang , fuck this shit .
I think I'd be like the hardware store owner .
Where does like when your synapses go off to say that Like ?
where does that thought come from ? You know ?
I'd be the hardware store owner .
I'd spend all my money on gambling and hookers .
The hardware store hardly made it . That's what I was to do in that time . Yeah , comes mr Orps . Yeah , he's . Yeah , that's the town dick Slinging dick . He'd be . He'd totally be married though . No , but he would be . No , I can't say what he'd be . Step He'd be stepping out no he's the hardware .
He's the hardware owner whose wife is at home Abusing something and he's banging hookers .
Oh , she's like she was an old hooker . She's drinking the logman I .
Honey , I'm just gonna go to the bar real quick , shoot some dies , I'll be right back .
And you go except the same bottle .
No , no , it is not God . But um , yeah , see if , fucking jerk off , we could still be going with the your , your portion that you were supposed to do .
Why he's why you harping on this man . We're doing fine without it .
I know , but then I have to , I have to wing it . I'm not gonna be here next week . Well , we go . Yeah , a little big K . Well , we should have a guest host , we go . We don't do a little same Martin . Oh , friendside , or Dutch side , how long you touch side , of course , fuck the French , we Fuck you , and the fuck are you .
Like we're talking plane trip or you cruising and stopping now a plane trip , okay , all inclusive resort .
I don't think I'll ever go on a cruise , ever gonna crash a wedding while I'm there . Who's wedding ? A friend of mine's wife , his sister , her sister is getting married , so they did .
The conversation started about how it's a coincidence that you're going to be there .
No , he was telling us we were discussing after a ball of bourbon about doing a vacation or something . He was saying , yes , my vacation got all fucked up . I noticed destination wedding , but , but , but , but , but , but but I'm like . So where is it when ?
is it nice Around ?
that shit . Yeah , I'm like fucking I'm going , and then not only am I going , but our buddy Freddy's going . So there's gonna be three families Frank , uncle Freddy .
Nice , you bring kids . Yes , nice , nice , that'd be fun , that's terrible , oh the kid parts awful .
Yes , the shitty part is like you got wait , do you ? You don't have a direct flight , right , yeah , I .
Didn't have a direct . You don't have to go to Miami or nothing .
No , JFK Right to say more team . We landed somewhere . I figure where else we like .
We didn't get off the plane onto a smaller like Puddle just gonna say you gotta be on , like you can't be on a big plane .
No , dude , this shit was like it 25 , 25 rose jeb blue . Oh yeah , 25 . I was on something that had like eight rows . Well , usually that was that was how we went to the Bahamas the first time . It was a little fucking puddle jumper you want me to swipe down on the blade in the front , so this starts going . Why do I have to move to this side ?
What a string goes where ? And I why ? Why are you asking me how much I weigh ?
Oh , how many animals and cages are we allowed to have on what do ?
you mean , if I had our All right , did I have a bowel movement ? What are you talking about , gonna ? Shit my pants up there . Yeah , it was loud as shit too , and I'm , yeah , I don't . I don't like the little planes myself either . Yeah , I mean not a fan . I mean not a fan .
It's I thought I first thing I thought about when I got into playing what do we do ? What do you think of you ? Get into a plane like that . What's the first , most fucked up thing you could think of where you get parachute ? Now I Was like La Bamba . It was the fray era , fucking moron . I'm just gonna be richie balance , that's it .
Oh , the difference was he was famous . That just makes me feel worse . Now , hopefully in famous one , in watching be like see , that's the curse . 7000 downloads on a quick flight , that's the curse . It's like the day we blow up . I travel somewhere and you blow up Dan , I yeah , watch that happen . I'm gonna call it right now .
I'm gonna be the Simpsons , let's call it nice , it's one less share .
Sorry bro , just thinking about the show I Can we put a document together ?
where are your shares ? Go now ? Here's now . Here's my . Here's my issue with that comment the way he spoke about the lug nuts earlier , then he makes that this sounds like something that needs to be on 2020 . This , this episode , is gonna be . The FBI's gonna be listening to this episode one day . Yeah , can we take that out of that file ?
What's the title of this one ? I think we're gonna die , okay . Yeah , we're gonna have to see you listen to . I think Kevin's trying to kill me . Strawberry , we found these lug nuts in your truck , in here in your dresser drawer , your bedroom . How did those get there ? With a video camera and the team where you recorded yourself to taking off lug nuts ?
Apparently after a bottle of bourbon , while man maniacally laughing oh you were shotgunning .
Yeah , you were shotgunning Scotch like it was going out of style move . Oh , fuck me god . Now I'm like freaking out about a tire flying off my fucking truck when I'm driving .
But I wouldn't do you . You did the smart thing , you put one on yeah , I got , we got to put a .
We have to put a hit out for somebody . This is gonna be the east coast west coast Rivalry .
Yeah .
Yeah , me , me , oh , is that , is that , what ?
really yeah Me . Maddy came up with a plan .
Oh yeah , we did . Can we discuss it publicly ? No , I don't know , I don't know , I'm on record .
Yeah , you know .
FBI is definitely checking this tape .
They check whatever they want . We ain't said shit . Nothing to see here , we gotta talk about .
Sounds like , sounds like intent .
Your honor , oh lawyer , we're gonna really talk about some shit yeah .
I'm gonna defend myself .
I'm gonna defend myself .
I'll have a gag order in six seconds . You're a gag on what the gag ball ?
But plug but .
But plug . All right , we're off the rails and let's say hour and 12 minutes .
That's not bad for a fucking free .
Free , it's a dream free ball and I'm free falling Free , ballin free ball in a while .
Yeah , thank you .
Just out of respect .
Like dude if I see you're gone .
I'm gonna walk out and if I know he's in the kitchen , nobody else is in the house . I'm coming out with a towel on my shoulders .
So not even the conversation I'm just just start rocking . This is a point to the door and you better leave this out .
You get out . This is not the men's locker room and we that comment chased our last viewer , so I think it's time
¶ Fire Cleansing Ritual With Sage Discussion
to go . Oh sorry , they said I wanted to flop my dick . I Hope the lighting is real good in the hall , so violently it's slapping on the . My underbelly , kevin's gonna be like you . Look like Ken . You look like a baby rhino dry humping Looks like . Looks like Ken . I saw you . A great adventure , realize .
They made people all smooth there so you were in the pond shiny . Yeah , bro , you look like the fucking elephant in the pond at great adventure going through the safari . Don't ever do that again . Get out of my house . All right , that's the way you close the show right there to describe myself as an elephant slinging dick In front of Kevin all wet .
Wow , I didn't hear that , but yeah now I got to sleep with one eye open .
Now you do , yeah , okay .
You think so . I Don't even know what to fucking say after the list or , or , or or . Or is it a real fucking curse because of the flowers ?
I Do think the flowers play a part in all of this .
And all I say . I really do think we need to get some sage and do a little , you know .
I think we need to do a lot like , a lot like .
You're gonna do it here and we're not .
You know what I'm thinking , like bonfire .
This is what he's gonna do and he'd leave watch . This is what he's gonna do . Oh , you needed , you needed , sage , it's real time again . I can see you doing that because you have to get something done for the show . You don't get it done , you , you just . You just missed a part where he wants you to leap through the bonfire . What am I ?
A fucking Ballerina Leap have to walk on it . No , he said , leap through the bonfire .
No , so I'm sorry . I think we have two options . How tall is the body ? We have two options .
I don't want the wrong leg and I'm gonna fucking sprain something and go right into the fucking fire .
Like a lot of sage , like spread out on the ground for like a fire walk . Okay , like barefoot fire walk .
How are you gonna set that on fire , though With a lighter ? How much sage are you getting ? No package your tune . Kevin where'd you put it ? In the grass ? I can't see it like you get some sage too .
You get some sage too . Like we could all get some sage and get a whole bunch of fucking sage Right really like a fucking hay bale of sage . You never know . You know , I think you need a lot man , or we could do like a little little bonfire sort of thing and he'd do like a , like a little fire , jump across the bonfire , right .
I Identify as a Leaping frog .
You don't want to do the fire walk .
I'm just thinking like remember I said the whole thing , like the TP thing , like we got to smoke something up and oh , oh , you want to marinate . Not marinate , but just like for a couple of marinate smoke .
We put you in the smoker 100 white sage smudge sticks wholesale .
We even talked about this . Sustained , sustainably grown for healing , stress relief , spiritual and personal development . Oh , oh , where's that ? Bulk sage bundles on Amazon ? Bam , how much sage . I'm gonna fucking buy some of this shit .
How much is it Like what we talked about ?
yeah , well , I'm talking about wheat . How much ?
they got any black Friday deals .
We're looking for a sale for a science give like a balayay , but like sage . Whole sale bulk California white sage smudge sticks . White smudge sticks . Sounds privileged . With smudge sticks , you taking out a stain . Nobody heard that . What is it white ?
privileged ARGl ate off .
We got a 40 pack of sage smudge sticks . What's a smudge stick ? What does it ?
do for 56 dollars . So I got a chapstick like what the fuck is that ?
Oh no , it's the fucking thing that you see movies . Yes , a 40 pack . How big is it ? I don't know . It doesn't give you like the dimensions in the description , did you ? It's usually like yeah , that's what I'm saying , it's individually .
You know it's like burrito . Yeah , diameter right , oh yeah , did we just fucking light that up in the cardboard box and you do some . Oh yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , we'll throw you in the loincloth , we'll paint you up a little bit .
You know , maybe give you some homemade tattoos Like the island people , and we'll do some fire see , this is where , like , I need a fucking true cleansing .
I need a true cleansing , fucking . Well , what do you ?
what do you think fucking fire jumping sounds like who the fuck is face painting ?
Wait , give me my phone back , let me look something .
Yes , figure people that aren't getting cleansed . That's who you know . Oh my god , I can't , I can't you're gonna forget the face paint .
You're gonna forget the sage . If we have it , do I got fucking paint .
You have ?
you have house exterior paint ?
I'm gonna , you're gonna be like that paint near interior .
You're gonna fucking dip your first your pointer . Yo , you're gonna dip your pointer in your middle finger . You're like I'm just gonna rub across your face and you come down and you go out my eyes to in the pink , the other one .
You know where I'm putting the other one .
Okay , all right , all right . All right , all right . Hold on , hold on , all right . First , you start with a simple intention of focusing on clearing the negative energy out of your space in mind . So we meditate a little bit . Yeah , once you have your intention in mind , light the sage .
Hold at a 45 degree angle , pointing the tip down towards the flame , allow it to burn for 30 seconds and then blow it out .
And then what do you do with it ? Then you , then you absorb the smoke that it , that it is emanating , until it stops . Yeah .
I'm sure there's like some fucking .
Like sign of the cross , shit , like what are you talking here ? I don't know the ceremonious gesture that are right . I gotta call out to the devil like secret fucking Hand shake , like I don't know what we're talking about .
We got it . We got to do this through the whole basement .
You got a smudge the whole basement You're gonna make point of origin . Yeah , we've got to do the whole fucking house then , dude .
No , I think it just it's from here Like cuz , like how to smudge your house to invite positive energy you've been everywhere in the house , have you not ?
Yeah well , except Matthews room in bathroom , nobody goes in there .
I personally- I will personally buy an extra box of say , I definitely haven't been in Obi-Wan's bed , I'll be one through . We just , we just like that whole box up . So it's like a fucking tinder box . You kicked the door open . Yeah , we're just bombing the room real quick , stay there .
We got to leave the house Just so you know this may be detrimental to your health . We're gonna lock you in so nothing gets out . You're here for 24 . We're gonna get some clear plastic and we're gonna dexter up around the area the fucking doctors from ET walking in shit . Oh , not good , not good at all . Oh , that's great , that's . I don't know .
All right for a show coming soon . Yeah , yeah , we could do the . We got a .
Yeah , the as seen on TV tournament should be done , but I got .
I got a lot of fuck . I you know what . I'm not holding my breath on it , kevin . I got a lot of things I gotta buy for this show Ready a mics and Mike arms and hookers , hookers . And I'd like to sage Did you just shoot so out of your nose ? I Like an Ottoman , I'd like this . Like that was just fucking out of left field .
Dude , I'd like you to slide the bottle of bourbon this way , please . I'd be great , straight out of left field .
Yeah that's the weather but leather would be cool . I would accept cloth what the autumn .
Oh , take it easy , spalding . Oh , I remember . No , what it ? What were we talking about ?
That's my name for Dom . We were coming up for holding that's what . I haven't programmed it to my phone as a contact as we were coming up For a new design for a table . I'll tell you why I did it . What'd you do ? I Could say like why I call my buddy Dom's balling From a caddy shack .
He showed up to Fidd's like in a hat , not like that , but sort of like that Uh-huh , but it just looks like Caddy shack . Fucking dig it over soup at and yeah , and ever since then he's been spalding .
Spalding , spalding . Do you make him beef Wellington ? I do not I thrusts beef Wellington in ten Whoa . Yes , I didn't know , fire tuck was gay .
I work both sides . Always English .
Take a cock , give a cock . Oh Okay , this episode did nothing to help our viewership . No , and I feel more depressed now because of it .
I know we'll see what the cigarette flick it gets . You know like the video was great .
We had a viewers . It would have been cool . We were down to two when we played it .
We got back up to six Instagram or whatever .
Oh , that's gotta go , yeah , yes , okay , that's all I gotta do is edit the video down to that , and if I , I gotta see how long . How long was it ? It's gotta go , because that that'll be our first video posted since the eye washington , do we yet , do we ?
have a tick tock . Yes , why don't you put it on that too ? Just don't , just don't like fucking .
Are you clueless of what ? What we have died .
Honestly , yeah , dude , I don't do the . Yeah , you know , I know . Sorry , what do you do ? This Be fucking funny . Yeah , that's what I do .
I , I think shit . I drink some bourbon , I think shit .
Yeah , cook some shit , but I'm funny , it's kind of why I'm here , yeah .
Pretty much some net up . Yeah , that was the bougiest shit ever . Because of that , I want to end the show is this a coca ?
so sloth from New Zealand , oh dude , I love sloths . Costa Rica ever look ?
you ever see that video , the sloth . I got rescued and the person put him on the , walked across the tree , put him on the tree and you see him turn around so slow and it looks like he smiles .
Yeah , I was like they do smile .
That's the dude you want , because you'll you say something to him . You got 10 minutes to walk away . You'll never fuck you . It's great , that's good stuff . Right there , you don't hear any complaints .
What was that movie where they had sloths and like the DMV ?
Oh , that was um , I know exactly Real fucking slow . That was great , all right . All right , let's end it for a pen up .
How'd we do ? How many ? Oh , almost an hour and a half . How about that ? Yeah right , we know . No , fucking nothing , just like .
Yes , sorry , yeah , yes , the effort , yeah , once again , yeah , nothing the effort we put forth is playing once again that nothing well , why I would have ? I would have really enjoyed doing a game show .
Why does it all rest on ?
geared around Made for TV items oh oh , I got on TV . I know you want a game show or a tournament , I mean , you know , whatever , what were you doing it as ?
I was doing it as like a like a bracketed tournament a tournament of champions products as the , as seen on TV products were okay you know , like I haven't figured out , if I'm going 1632 , how many products I'm doing .
Obviously not . You haven't figured that out yet , right ? But it's still in its infancy
¶ Discussion About Kevin and Predicting Downloads
phases . He's an idea man , do you have a ? Do you have a blueprint ? We could see anything written down .
I had . I do have suffered downtown here .
He keeps on his private space .
It's in my office .
Where's that bathroom ? Yeah , man master bathroom . Kevin's walking through the walls and shit peeping . There's one book on one shelf in the house . Yeah , I could see that . Where's he going ? Where's he going ? Go down to your fucking little layer . I can't believe . No Ben tonight . I thought he was out .
Yeah , no , no , no , ben , whatever Did you win , did you insult him again ?
No like . When do they insult them all the time ? I know that's part of the fucking shtick .
Okay , all right , I didn't know . You guys had an agreement , yeah .
Who is this guy tonight ? I ?
don't know , fucking microwaves , french fries , fucking does that ? He's the bourbon guy tonight .
Yeah , that's how we're gonna end it . Let's see , since not mine , not mine , kevin . Kevin is predicting that , since we put his video off and his audio of him calling the son Obi-Wan and freaking out about frozen french fries , let's see how the downloads do .
Oh yeah , I'm predicting . What am I predicting ?
six , seven under a thousand , what your mind ? Ladies , gentlemen , thank you for joining us in the ticket deep show . Kevin's a fucking douche . Oosh , wow , kinda hurts , man , you know what hurts . Adolf Ovens . Hello , just for a second Wait , like that .