¶ Friday Frenzy and TID Update
As long as it's not Metallica , we're okay .
We got a backstory to this song too . I mean , kevin , we're talking about last night , some good shit . You guys definitely need some time apart . No , we had a trip together to McDonald's and it was a good talk and it was very funny about how he yeah , yeah , yeah , oh uh . Friday Frenzy with the cunt Maddie and Pell . You're forever my pussy cunt .
I love it .
I'll be the cunt . Yeah , yeah , is that your new nickname ?
I don't know why .
What I mean . That's as narcissistic as you can be , Kevin . He's trying to manipulate the situation . It's called deflecting and pointing fingers . I've been through it , I know .
Wait till he love bombs you .
Ladies and gentlemen , welcome to the Take a Deep Show , episode 71 . The Pussy Cunt Dolls .
What's up , fellas , hello , it's a Friday . Been a minute since we've been on on a Friday . Oh yeah , it's been a while . What's up ?
fellas , we're going to be that guy . Yeah , again , all the time .
Yeah , he's going to call me names . I'm sorry .
Do you need to adjust your microphone ? Seriously ?
I mean , I didn't realize you're going to be , you know , just like everybody else out there in fucking social media , you hurt my feelings . Are you triggered ? Are you triggered ?
Kevin , I was triggered .
I felt triggered .
Do you need to save space ? I might Right back there behind the black curtain .
Yeah , and what we're going to do is , look , we're going to dedicate a day to you . Oh yeah , it's a national holiday Pussy Cunt Day .
There we go .
September 4th .
No , it's got to be like a good date for pussy . Like , do you think about it ?
Pussy Cunt Day rolling right in the Labor Day .
That I mean it could be D-Day he's or whatever you want . He's not accepting it , he's not , he's not happy .
You can tell already . It doesn't matter , it's all already .
Well , it's been a couple . It's been a while since we've been on on a Friday . Some things have changed . We actually have a grease board working , yeah .
We actually have a grease board where things written on it Updated Awesome , yes .
And I can see exactly what we're going to talk about now .
Nice little outline Right Doesn't mean the contents could be any better , but at least we know what we're going to talk about .
We're going to hit like the first thing and we're going to steer right somewhere , and yeah , but now I was looking at the outline . I got everything up on the computer .
Oh , you can actually pull shit up on it . Oh , already done . We're fucking getting high tech here . Look at this .
This is a high tech in the speed of molasses . For whatever reason , this shit is my computer slow as shit . Is it hooked up to the ethernet ? Yeah , I got to plug it in . Oh , yeah , it's plugged in . I think it's just my computer .
Well , if you take off the camel jockey porn , then I'll probably move faster . What ? Okay , good , so it's a chance , find it , find it . There it is .
All right , that's that only took three . We've been recording for 34 minutes , so that only took like two .
Showtime .
For that to happen .
Yeah , that's awesome . I just brought two more viewers on All right great , that's awesome .
So how's everything being one of you fuckers ?
Busy , yeah , crazy fucking busy . Busy with what Fucking work ?
sucks assholes . I know that midget porn really gets people going . You got to be busy . You got to be busy with that . I've never watched midget porn . Liar , I swear to God , liar .
I swear to God , you know , you know you were scrolling next to me , I just got to see .
So , are you like getting off on some kind of technicality here ? Like you wasn't really midget porn , but there was a midget in it .
No , you know , it didn't look like a midget in the preview no , like you didn't know there was going to be one .
I've seen a porn with a midget in it , but no , there was no divulging on the midget . Okay , okay , all right .
So I don't remember that one but you know I've never watched it . Well , we were up to six and divulging on the midget got us down to five , right away . Well , sorry , little person , whoever just left there , and down to four , god damn it . Don't say divulge on the midget .
I think it's midget American , to be honest . You know we're going to do it right .
However way it makes you feel better . Did you learn that in your safe space ?
Okay , so we got . We got some stuff we're going to be discussing today .
Ben loves midgets and we're down to three . Okay .
And it's working . It's working and it's gone . So we were gathering momentum and we lost it right away . You know , it's gotten to the point in the world where we need a TID state of the union address . Yeah Okay , we got . We got to discuss some shit that's going on in this country For the people by the people . You know what I'm talking about .
Then we got to do the TID state of the universe , address Universe . How crazy was that video I just showed you ? That was pretty much . Oh no , what were you watching ?
It was a video that they just released from Florida Somebody standing on the beach recording whoever in front of them , and you just see this blur of light go through like the dark clouds on the horizon over the ocean . And I saw it . He didn't see it . Then they did it slow down , dude , it was like a thing like I mean , comparable .
How big would it be this wasn't on Ex Hamster again , no , I'm not watching fucking US bullporn . Well , I don't know , that's what you're saying .
But the kid who was photographing he's like did anybody see that ?
So he did see it , it was real , it was genuine , for sure .
And they slowed down the video . Dude holy shh Dude's just more and more videos coming out .
Which , of course , is more things that we need to be distracted by . I don't know .
That's why we're doing both state of the union and state of the universe All right , and we got some fucking great news .
Ben still calling for the telephone , okay .
You know what ? Tell him , fucking God , he's killing me like Kevin . And then we got a little surprise , little surprise today , surprise , little something , I don't know what's that . It's time for a feud , not yet .
No , no , little teaser .
Yeah , we haven't fucking played a fucking game in a while . I just got to find the categories , but I have all the . I do have all the sound effects , and that's what matters most .
So we got the sound effects , but no , no one was surveyed yet .
No they're , they're they're surveying the people . Right now , the hundred people are being surveyed on all their questions . Okay , so , like I said , computers good .
As long as he catches up to us , all right . Get a lot of traffic tonight , back up to five .
It's nice . I mean it's a Friday .
Don't say the M word .
I got to start fucking putting my sound board out a little better .
Jesus , you're rusty .
You know , speaking of rusty , I was rusty today . Rusty trombone no , all right , I didn't think I was going to talk about this , but it's the open to monologue . Oh shit , and you are forever banned in NHL 23 on PlayStation . I don't think that's fair . Sorry , and the vote vote's been in , so it's a one to nothing vote . So it's my vote .
It's all matters in your fucking band you like .
you were the sole person interviewed with the survey question . There's no way that's on there . I was the one person . They could take it a little hard man . I was caught by surprise . I'm not going to lie . You were being . You were shooting your mouth , though If you were talking shit like you were going to wreck him , weren't you ? Oh ?
yeah , no , cause I'm sitting like it's . It's a difficult game to play and you got humbled . Just say it . Humble is not even the word . Not even the word . All I know is where , at first game , we're playing at zero , zero , bam , it's two , nothing . And I'm just like what the fuck's going on here ?
After he scored the first goal , I was like , well , the game's over . That was my mindset , and what happened was Kevin brought out . It was like what was that fucking basketball movie with Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan , space Jam , space Jam .
It was like going against those guys , cause all he was doing was cross-checking , body-checking , slapping people with sticks , killing people . And what happens in the middle of a shot ? Nonetheless , I'm a big fan of 90s hockey . No , I understood , understood , but when you're in the middle of a slap shot , you can't come over and face fuck somebody .
I disagree , no , sorry . If I was playing defense , that's exactly what I would have done . There's rules . I'm not just going to let you shoot . I would have actually dropped my stick .
No , understood , but that was like being on cell block C , I was being shanked . Well , hey man .
You know , Did he skate over with a grapefruit spoon and remove an eye and then insert what ?
Huh , take one game at like 66 hits , which was apparently a lot , yeah , which was totally fucking illegal .
So that's all I know . Okay , cool , nice job Oops . We got a lot of questions Survey questions .
Yeah , excellent , all right , so which teams are playing tonight , pat ?
I don't know what's the name of your teams , though . It's only the feud , but it's the solo TID feud , because we got no families here .
Oh , my team name is obs is a cunt Wow .
Like welcome . Obs is a cunt family and heavy flow day family over here .
All right Well male menopause on my left . Obs is a cunt on my right .
Anyway , let's take the attention off of Kevin , okay .
And Ben's on your side . Obs , you said you get no respect . Thanks , Ben .
Thank you . Thank you for the support .
Now I have an issue as a red-blooded American .
That's surprising to hear you say . What would that be , Patrick ?
Okay , listen back in the day . You know a little shoplifting here and there Probably get locked up , right , yeah , yeah , all right . Now what happens nowadays when you're taking selfies with nine millimeter guns and your hog hanging out , but you're smoking a crack pipe and snorting cocoa off a Asian underage hooker ? Crack ass or a crack , what happens ?
What the fuck were you doing all week ? I wonder what happens . Not only that , but then supposedly like getting like a sweet ass deal from the DOJ , with that falling apart because it was some conspiracy going on with the judge .
The judge was just standing for some other language . Let me ask you a question .
Deep down inside , you want to be Hunter Biden , don't you ?
Teflon Biden . You know , you do .
I don't know if I'd want to be him . I'd like to have his perks , though .
No , the crack , I mean Asian hookers the money .
I mean it all sounds fun .
There are certain things I might want to try behind closed doors .
I'm not going to lie . It's probably why I like most of its photos , because if you use on Instagram , he would have gotten a few hearts . Let me tell you he might even gotten a share . I don't know the share of what , it doesn't matter , but the fact he's driving around in a Corvette .
Not a care in the world .
Joe's Corvette , because I'm sure he drives that a lot . You know he gets out there on the windy roads .
That crazy , that crazy kook . The fucking guy can't walk a straight line . Has he driving a Corvette ?
So now he's got to move all the classified files out of it before he gets a bit of a rub .
It's good to have a big trunk in that thing .
What is mind boggling to me is this All this information that's out right now , which is true , pretty much verified . All of all of Hunter's stuff is true , yes , I mean that's that shit is , just let me tell you something you must have , a you start talking politics , we just drop , we just whatever , I don't care . I don't care .
I mean , would you want to keep all that shit on a laptop , maybe , maybe , like a extended storage ?
Well , you know you would think Big Daddy would be able to , would be able to get the guy home with a presidential seal , because I don't think he's all there .
No , no , I love it , though . I love Joe , I really do yeah .
He's like Mr Magoo .
A little bit yeah . Yeah .
¶ Current Events and Political Corruption
Was never in an action because plenty of behind them . Totally , mr .
Magoo right there , and I love it , absolutely love it .
But that's funny .
Then you have what came out last week was Devon Archer testifies against the Bidens .
Wasn't that yesterday or two days ago ? I don't know . It was a few days ago , yeah .
It was more than like the other day , yeah .
It was always seemed to be something that overshadows what's going on , let's try to end up in tight trumpet .
Oh geez , it's funny how that all just happens , like that , you know , like .
It's just they're finding more and more stuff and I'm just sitting there like I'm , like they're just , you know it's , I'm not choosing sides . I'm telling you right now , I'm not choosing sides .
All they're doing is fueling the fire , because I'm going to tell you right now I don't , I don't , I don't know if , I don't know if either of them going to be the next president in 2024 .
I don't think either of them can be at this point . I hope neither of them .
I'm telling you , well , I got to feel like something's going to happen where all the shit's dropped against Trump because he'll like say he gets the the nominee for .
Republican when I started reading something and I I glossed it and something about our presidential immunity . They're trying to argue that that a lot of this falls under presidential immunity .
And so we say something like that happens . Tell you right now it's , it'll be just a , don't even bother going to the to the polls to be , to be perfectly honest with you , because then the UFOs are going to invade during election days , not even a question . That's exactly what's going to happen , not even a question .
What's the question ? I didn't know . I didn't have a question . I said that there's no question that that would happen . But at this point , take Trump away If throwing him , throwing his ass in jail , we'll get everyone open their fucking eyes to these other assholes and they'll throw them in jail too . I'm all for it . I'm not enough . I've had enough .
I'm down for it . That's all I know . Nonsense , what are you really ?
doing in the court jail . I don't necessarily disagree , but I'm just tired of all the bullshit . I say you're fucking , you want to crucify this guy over here , but these fucking jerkoffs are Robin Steele and impilogen . Yeah , laughing and laughing about it . Exactly , it's ridiculous , fucking ridiculous .
Then all the wire transfers , the money offshore , how long he's been doing it for , and whatnot . This goes down the most corrupt human being family to yeah .
And I will go as far as to say this I believe that many presidents ahead of him that were just as bad , if not worse , but they were smart enough to keep this shit under wraps .
Yeah , unless they had secret fucking tapes in the drawer .
I'm sure everyone's got secret tapes in the drawer .
Speaking of which , what happened to the cocaine in the White House ? Where did that go ? It never left . How does everything get swept under the fucking rug and people are just like nothing to see here . Please disperse . I mean , come on and I'm just sitting there like I'm like I was like , am I that retarded ? That mean , okay , maybe this is not real .
This shit is going on in front of everybody's eyes and people have the audacity to show me the proof .
But really does anyone even give a shit that they found a bag in the fucking White House Again ? Not the first motherfucker to be fucking banging mirrors in the White House .
No , but the cocaine , the bag of cocaine . And what was it right after the cocaine ?
Oh , it was something , Something else . Probably there was another drop in the oh a dead hooker .
Oh , oh . I was waiting for fucking . I was waiting for Clint Eastwood to come out of the closet . You know a movie I'm talking about ? I sure do . Where's Gene Hackman when we need him ? Huh ?
Now , Gene Hackman was the hell of a president .
Awesome Especially when he strangled the girl in bed . Well , she got out of Quick .
She got out of line .
Easy I mean secret service take care of it .
But I mean , that was a little pussy , but that's all right , it was a little pussy , a little pussy , you know , and I'm just sitting here .
And then that article that came out about the money that's not accounted for that got sent to Ukraine and we mistakenly , mistakenly , sent $6.2 billion more than we should have . What ?
Well , can you imagine ? Yeah , can you imagine being that guy .
Yeah , hey , hey , schlondes . Yeah , this is Timmy over in the . Yeah , remember those payments we just sent over with Swire 2 ? Can you send those back ?
Well , they've already come back . They've gone through the washing machine and now they've come back . Oh my , that's all it is . It's fucking money laundering .
Absolutely . It's in fucking sane what is going on in this country , and I'm scared you should be .
Yeah , I think so . Why , I don't know . The scary part is Because it's not turning to the better yet . You know , like usually , like you start seeing like some light at the end of the tunnel or something , caroline , and it's just this , caroline , this downward spiral of they're here . You know of just like circus . You know Like it's embarrassing .
And it's not even that , it's just Now . You're like just watching the news and I can't even watch any fucking news . No , there's Anything . Nope , I don't care what fucking news channel , I can't watch it . The whole time Sound of Freedom was coming out .
They're suppressing that movie , but then not only are they talking about the movie , but they're talking about how it's tied into QAnon . And that's not the fucking , that's not the point .
Well , that's how they try to .
It's nothing for nothing , but shout out to the Sound of Freedom because in its third week of being released it beat out fucking Mission Impossible in Mission Impossible's first weekend .
Oh nice , Does one of these have still over ? Fuck you , Tom .
Cruise yeah .
And Scientiles .
And Midget porn again .
Oh , you could probably go to Midget porn with him . Is he a small dude ? Yes , that was my point . I totally missed that one . What was the vibration you just got there ?
No , I think we got a text message from Kenny King Saying who's Kenny ? King , we play baseball . Yeah yeah , I think he's making fun of you for not going to the baseball game tomorrow Because I'm working . Yeah , I know I'm trying to get out of it . I'll go find a guy to fuck with , listen . Oh before you go to Carolina .
You want to go pitch a couple of things tomorrow .
Due to due to circumstances unforeseen . I need to work , and work comes first , before baseball . I agree , of course , unless it's a good team , Then I'll be there . What are we playing next week ? No , saturday is a fucking money day , man . Do what you got to do , brother , come on . If we lose , then I guess we're gonna be in a little bit of trouble .
No , never , really . All right , now another ack ack . So another issue is this what seems to be a cover up , which one A chef got offed ?
Well , didn't he unalive himself , or something , or no ? No , this is the paddle board , yeah .
He was the six foot tall chef who had videos of him swimming in the professional .
The professional paddle . Yeah , he was an avid paddle boarder . Right , he was on paddle Mysteriously dies paddle boarding in eight feet of water . I thought it was three feet , it was eight feet , okay .
I thought it was like six or something Like nothing .
Wait , a split to difference .
Nuts . You know , nothing too deep , you know .
That sounds like about right for this show .
All right . So this is the mystery of it . So get ready to cry . Despite authorities ruling the death of Barack and Michelle Obama's personal chef , tafari Campbell , accidental police have refused to release any additional information on the investigation .
The Obama's main headlines on the late July's the reported emergency services have been dispatched to the former president's waterfront Martha's Vineyard mansion . Everybody goes to Martha's Vineyard , huh , I don't go to .
Martha's Vineyard . They would call it the Vineyard .
Oh yeah , oh you know what the booge ? It's called the booge . Hey , pat , I hear they like to brunch pretty hard up there . Yeah , kevin will fuck you .
Kevin will fit right in there .
Who the fuck are you ? Huh , no , who the fuck are you ? Who the fuck are you ?
So , it says . It says emergency crew search for Campbell .
I'm the guy who can't have bloody mayors there for a ten-night brunch . Shut up , sorry .
¶ Missing Paddle Boarder and Conspiracy Theories
A father too , went missing in the water while paddle boarding on Edgertown , great Pond . His body was recovered from the water near the Obama family home on July 24th and when the 911 call was initially placed , campbell was described as not wearing a lifejacket when he went into the water and struggled to stay afloat . That sounds weird .
Did he accidentally hit himself in the back of the head with the paddle ?
Maybe he got so mad at himself , he hit himself with the paddle . Then you know , you know what's weird .
Perhaps it was a land shark . I think there's another chef from another president that also died a mysterious water death .
Yes , yes , somebody went missing . Yeah , uh-huh , well , yep .
But it says law enforcement cited an ongoing investigation as their reason for withholding information .
So I will bet you dollars to donuts . There's no water in that man's lungs .
Okay , I'm gonna stare at the public's but it says Justin Silverman , the executive director of the New England First Amendment Coalition , was skeptical on the police's claim . Silverman claimed law enforcement keeping a tight lip on Campbell's death actually defied public's record law .
He said the police had a burden to support how the release of additional information could compromise their work .
So , and what happened to anybody ?
Nothing , yeah you know , but supposedly there was a second paddleboarder . Who was that ? That's supposed to be the information that's not being released .
Believe us the CIA agent that drowned him .
The CIA agent with who's paddleboarding with the silencer on his gun , un-fucking , like it's come on Now . It's just like I feel like when we're watching it , like when we're seeing that stuff , it's just like all right , is anybody gonna say anything ? Nobody . Who are you gonna say it to ?
I did .
You know , Stop being a conspiracy theorist , pat . You said one in the fucking show oh yeah , all right , yeah , yeah , all right , yeah , yeah , all right , yeah . Just look at it , so happy Just the little things that make him happy . Yeah , it does . Totally does so . And then , of course , another fucking indictment for Trump .
I mean , I didn't want to touch it , it's just for wearing . What a jockstrap the wrong way . Is that what it was ? I don't even know I saw it was something on the .
January 6th , but like I don't know .
No , it was for something the that already happened .
I believe it's because he's part of a Republican Party and he had a pretty good shot at winning the next presidential election .
Yeah , I'm pretty sure like all of them are like the same one .
Those are crimes that are .
Well , you know he was having sex with a real doll , so we're gonna call that conspiracy Right ? Wow , that was the . That was loud , that was really loud . That was annoying . What was that ? That was a Google password required . No clue why . I'm not gonna even try to figure it out .
I think that was a live chat notification Home Paco's online and chat with half naked women Now On the dark web .
In a dark room . It's not a good . We're playing the outlaws . Kenny , we destroyed the outlaws last time and then if you guys lose , you're the bad team , not them .
I don't think he's gonna like that . I think we're scraping by with like nine guys . That's okay , you guys won't .
You're gonna catch , you're the ninth . Oh my God , we're gonna get this slaughtered . Yep , when Matt is starting a game , that's when you know we're in trouble .
You know what ? You can go fuck yourself .
I'm not saying a bad thing when you're in the field because you hate the field . It's true , you hate the field . He had his first hit a couple of weeks ago too , very impressive , and followed that up with a disgusting over-the-field performer . It's not because of his inability to play the field , it's his anger out there .
He just doesn't want to fucking do it . Thank you , patrick . Okay , well put . So if a pitch is not right down the plate or hitting you , suck . Matt is there trying to frame . You gotta hit his spots , it's true . And then when he tries to chase a passball , forget about it . It takes a minute .
Matt is going through All right by the time he gets on the fence . Fuck you , fuck , fucking . Hit me with the pitch .
Ben wants to know if you were looking at pictures of Biden's taint .
Oh , so you know the whole issues with the taints . Does Ben know this Right ? I don't know . I think we should educate him . The taints of human beings , of male and female , are getting smaller . Do you know why ? Taints is between the nut sack and your butthole ? Okay , yes , right .
Reason why is the intake of plastics that you've been taking in your whole life . So if , say , like Matt had another kid , his kid's going to grow up smaller taint to the point of where there's so much plastics as years go
¶ Aliens, UFOs, Future of Humanity
on . By the time it's going to be like everybody's going to be like a monosex Instead of male , female . There's going to be no penis and no dick . You're just going to have a taint .
Thank God I'll be dead by then , or I'll be in heaven with everyone who's got dicks and which which brings us into our next state of the universe .
Address .
Oh , because it's interesting , leedon .
No , because everybody's going to turn into a fucking alien .
Akak , akak .
Yeah , so you're going to have a couple of those guys running around with taints , no dicks or pussies or cons . You know what I'm talking about . Wow , wow , wow , wow . Now , more and more , I love seeing all the shit that's happening right now with the UFOs and UFOs , congress , congress and the UFOs , and how ? Whistleblowers yeah , that Wow .
So now you have all these people who are just coming forward . And what was that whistleblower's name ? He was like up in the fucking food chain too .
The guy in the middle , he just All the information . So there were three of them . There was Fravor , the pilot , like , if you're looking at him on TV , he was like the guy in the right with the glasses . There's this guy in the middle , david Gresh .
He was the guy who had all the information but couldn't really talk too much , but he did say a bunch of stuff GRE , grush , us , sh , maybe , yep , all right , yep , yep , yep . And then I think the other guy was like , he was like another pilot . I think his name was close to Grush .
So they have his open in statement on oversighthousegov . Do you think the oversight committee actually really works ?
No , Well , I mean it works in the sense that they I don't know . Every time these people go in front of fucking Congress and fucking Senate committees and shit like that , it's always bullshit .
These guys actually said some shit , you know , but most of the time they're either like so ill-prepared for whatever questions they're getting or they're just not saying anything . It's like listening to the camera and hearing us talk . She talks .
I thought she just cares .
But he , when asked specific questions , if we have in our possession UFOs , but not only UFOs , beings of alien world , but also we are suppressing that information because we've . We're supposedly taking that technology that the UFOs had on whatever and using it .
But he has all this information and proof of the aliens , the UFOs and the fact that we're using their technology .
Yeah , would he give him like a month , man Right , like if it's real , like you give him like a month so they find him .
Well , at this point , every time you see something like that , on whichever medium you're using , you have to immediately search for the death record .
Yeah , like what about that guy Greer ? You know which one ? David Greer , dr , dr Greer .
I mean you keep on saying it like it's the fucking alien guy .
You know what I'm talking about , if you saw him .
Oh , the one who he did like the UFO files , that guy , the one who started the committee Of all the whistleblowers , that came , the whistleblowers , yeah , yeah , who came forward , yeah , he even said , when this whole thing was like coming out and talking a lot , that he does fear for his life .
Yeah , he said he's had colleagues to go missing and wind up . You know unalived Paddleboarders that's my favorite new word unalived .
Unalived Sounds good as diabolos .
No , or cunt , I'm like pussy cunt .
No , I was just talking about like new terms that are like popular-ish now Like hello .
I don't know if you've noticed pussy cunt has taken off the fucking number one hashtag out there .
That's pretty new Rumor has it's part of the survey . Rumor has it's trending Hashtag pussy cunt .
I'm so doing that I'm so putting the hashtags in .
You gotta give me a hat .
But it's the more and more information's coming out . We watched that video today . I'm seeing more videos that are coming out and we have the crash landing in Brazil , where that's supposedly the best documented account of an alien , because people came in touch with the being .
The person who came in touch with them fucking died from infections on the skin from the slime of the alien . You ever heard about this ? No , I don't .
I don't know , oh he didn't ?
He doesn't like to get too deep into it .
I'd rather just sit here and scratch my balls .
He's just waiting for one to show up so we can shoot . It's big Ack , ack , ack , ack .
Ping those would probably .
I'm not gonna say I would mad at them . Those would probably be the ones I would shoot , because they're fucking annoying .
It's been my experience so far in life that every time you pull back the red curtain to see what the great and powerful Oz really is , it's a bunch of disappointing , aggravating bullshit that just fucking continues to drag you . You know , become a drag on . You . Would rather not know why Ignorance truly is bliss , Patrick .
Okay , Do you believe there are other worlds down there ? Absolutely , Fucking lutely . Do I believe there's aliens ? Yep . Do I believe that we got alien shit here on Earth ? Yep .
I swear it's like I was watching Secret Invasion , the Martyrs it's what I feel like it's going on here . It's like a show V ? Remember the show V Scrolls ? We got scrolls .
We got scrolls down here , we got shapeshifters huh , we could Well here's .
I don't know if you've noticed Kevin and Vibe know this . It's because we watch this stuff . So I saw two videos of two passengers on separate flights . One was in Hong Kong , one was in the US . I forget going where Was this Pornhub Stewardess Pornhub .
No , no , no .
Okay , I'm sorry . I would categorize that correctly . I'm sorry . Anywho , I apologize . So the first video I see is this woman freaking out , screaming and yelling , saying she wants off the plane . She's not going anywhere until she gets off the fucking plane . Oh yeah , she was hot .
Referring to the person she was sitting next to , yep , she said under no circumstances am I going to be sitting next to that person because of how they just she said he wasn't real , yeah , and how he blinked Because his eyes were open but another layer blinked underneath .
Oh I , thought there's a slow mo . I wonder how many drinks she had before she got on the plane .
She must have had the same drinks as Jimmy Choo in Hong Kong . Just follow , just pose . Hang out , just pose in the bar with him before you got a plane . Oh , alien , true alien wheel , just ball , real , exactly . Wow . So this dude in Hong Kong has an episode on the plane saying he's not Taking off .
He wants to get off because of the person he was sitting next to I .
Wasn't real . I mean I'm taking a flight with Frank in October .
I might say the same thing , saying he wasn't real and because of the way he was blinking blinking so you think they had the same liquor in different airports . Yes , how does ?
that happen . I mean , I've been in many airports . They all generally have Johnny Walker , black and I understand that , matthew .
Oh okay , sorry , but not in fucking Hong Kong . You're having some sake , some cheese ball . You're not gonna drink that down because it takes a little while for it to come out of the class . So now the question is are they amongst us like Roddy Roddy Piper ?
They're real ? Yeah , I think so .
I kind of kind of bet they are you think they're among us .
I think maybe yeah yeah , you think there's like I'm not I'm not a fanatic about it , by any means you think we're so on advance compared to civilizations out there because there can be so much out there , especially good last year , like I don't know why this information ever comes out . So the James Webb telescope was released .
It's I forget how many times stronger than the Hubble telescope that was released . This one they sent out the opposite way and it fucking came back with the furthest they've ever seen , with a telescope like 560 million light years . Oh . So the first picture they released Was a photo with over 7,000 galaxies in it . Metaverse anybody .
7,000 galaxy , seven thousand galaxies . Let me see if I can pull that up for you , matty , so you can see it , because actually , what am I talking about ? You want to see it live . You can watch it live , really , yeah , james Webb space telescope , steth telescope , can we , we , web .
We can't NASA dot gov . We can't share that with our listeners , though . Can we web dot ?
NASA dot gov . I just shared it . I meant to fucking unfortunately no jerk . Um , I might be able to , because if I do present and I show camera , no , if I do present , share screen , uh-huh and let's do the web fucking telescope .
¶ Aliens, Holograms, and Costume Fails
There it is . Hopefully people can see that now . No , now no .
It says oh yeah , there it is , yeah , all right , so let's .
Let's see , look at this . So this is the first . Oh , oh , there it is , first friggin photo it releases and all those dots .
Are galaxies , you sure ? It's just not a black light of your bedspread Um .
Not well , listen those holes are there for breathing purposes . Okay , you're old , you know , Um , but look , dude , I think it's crazy . Now , if you look where the mouse is , right there Can you see . You're gonna see that now where I'm circling . Yeah , yeah right , yeah , all right , oops , son of a whore .
So remember the photos I showed you guys , the yeah , um , thomas , right , james Webb , james Webb , um , I'm gonna show you what they look like . Cart , they have one called the cartwheel galaxy .
He's fascinated no , I think it's great dude . What does Cartman have to do with this ? But look at this shit .
It's why it's slow . So I there , look at that . That's a fucking galaxy dude . It actually popped up here before it did on your computer .
It did If I can't , but look , how insane is that .
That is pretty crazy . Then they got , they showed they have footage well , photos of one of such Footage , well , photos of when a star is coming into to be a star , mm-hmm . So my thing is , if that shit you could see , we could see that shit , mm-hmm . How come we can't see aliens Because they don't want us to .
That's like the camera discussion with the nuclear bombs .
Yeah , yeah , right you know , Dude , I think they've been covering this shit up for a long time . Yeah , it's no tin foil hat stuff , you know it's . They've been covering it up since fucking probably before Roswell .
You think so ? That's when I wouldn't know , because that's when stuff started happening , was after , was during World War II , because when we dropped a nuclear bomb . So one , one , one , one , two , two , two , that's when the increased sightings of UFOs happen .
And then that story of well , even before that they had like the Foo Fighters and stuff that were , um , you know , the best of you , you know . Foo Fighters . What , what ? Well , that's what they called them . Hero , the Foo Fighters .
That's what the Foo Fighters Foo Fighters are named after UFOs . Yeah , I know that I just like them even less now . No , they're actually good man , it's all live . Fuck those guys , that's okay .
Let's see if I can . They hope the lump is . They're pretty good , whatever .
Where did you take the wrong turn ? I'll be a cuntie about it but I don't know it's .
And then that story of the general who was at one of the nuclear Uh bases that we have and two UFOs flew in and according to his story , they just shut off all the power and then took off and all the power came back on , kind of like , hey , we're here , we could do that . You can't , you know .
I think it's kind of like , no , you're not going to press those buttons . Matter of fact , we're gonna get rid of those .
Yeah , the only problem with that is it doesn't like give those people any pause . It just makes them like more fanatical about the fucking well , that's what I'm saying .
That's when you're going to see the holograms in the sky . National defense and the government's actually killing us With the fucking millennium falcon . But that's real . No , it's fucking hologram . You got luke and fucking han shooting missiles at us and they're gonna tell us it's an alien invasion . They're trying to glaze us . It's got glaze so bad by this alien .
It was so bad , but you know what To each of them ? I think there's aliens out there . I don't think there's bigfoot .
No , did you just see the ? Did you just see the tick tock video , which one they uh posted yesterday ? Some dude in uh yellowstone national park Thought he got pictures of two to uh two bigfoot's not even one . What two big feet , yeah big feet .
There was that documentary that guy released on amazon prime . I don't know if you guys ever saw it , but he got like close video footage of faces and it was the eeriest fucking shit in the world .
I was like that guy in china that uh paid 14 000 dollars to turn himself into a border collie . Did you fucking see ?
that I did what ? Oh my god , I just saw that dude and I was like 14 000 dollars , turned himself into a dog . I was like , because I saw this I think kevin's less concier when I saw that like what do you mean ?
turned ? What did he do ? Okay , he had this uh , it's a costume .
Yeah , it's a costume that was made to , to his body . And makeup and whatnot . He looked like a fucking dog .
Listen you think I'm joking dude . Nothing surprises me , no , you know , nope .
Border collie , border collie , man kevin , look at this .
That's him no way . That's a dude . That's him . Get the fuck . Wow , look at that yeah .
How crazy is that ? We're gonna , I'm gonna .
So all up , so we're gonna share that for 14 000 you could turn yourself into the sixth dog . So , okay , so here he is . Really really drive your wife over the edge . So that's all him .
That's him . Look at it and he's giving . Look at he's giving paw . He's giving paw to a chick . Can you imagine being the human being walking by and seeing this and you are befuddled Because you think it's a real dog ? I probably would have punched this guy in the face Absolutely fucking lutely .
Oh , like he was pranking people . He gets heel stomped , yes .
Oh wow , Look at this .
Fucking dummy .
How do you how ? First of all , how you not knowing , how you not knowing . It's kind of funny . He paid yeah , he paid 14 000 dollars for that costume .
I mean , it looks like it was worth it .
Yeah , I mean I guess , if you really wanted it that bad .
According to the man , he was very scared about going outside and assuming this border collie personality Like I'd wander into , like a bank vault .
I personally think you just didn't want to relieve himself on the tree in front of everybody .
Why is that border collie mounting that woman ?
On his hind legs . That was like the other night .
Kevin was . He was checking out Gunner . It's like Petten is fur . He said oh , that's his dick he .
You grabbed your dog's dick , didn't grab it . Dude , that's not what Pat just said .
I never laughed so hard . It was funny .
It just looked like he was trying to get something out of the fur and he's like , oh , this is dick . And I couldn't stop laughing .
It was pretty funny .
It was good , it was very good . So we're going to get out of the border collies , we're going to get out of the Bigfoot . What other fucking crazy Loch Ness , the Spanish one , the Chupacabra that one might be ? I've seen females like that . I think that's Mexican , yeah , but I've seen females like that . Why was it Definitely what was ?
it Itaco Okay .
So we're going to get out of that . We're actually we're going to have some fun right now .
¶ Offensive Family Feud Game Show
Do you guys got your buzzers ? All right , let me see if I oh yeah , I could pull this up . Kevin , don't cheat you can't help yourself . Listen , if he can do it like he did NHL today , my money's on him . Kevin's a cunt A cunt family .
And then we got the Pussycunt family . Okay , love it . All . Right , let's play the feud . Yeah , solo , feud TID . I thought we were playing a game . I thought we were playing at the entire .
I should turn the Pussycunt's mic off . Yeah , ladies and gentlemen , welcome to the feud . To my right we have all of us as a cunt family . To my left , heavy flow day family . My money's on the heavy flow day for some odd reason . I think their anger's gonna help them out here . They're always thinking on their toes , all right .
So you guys got your buzzers right , all right .
Sorry , okay , that almost sounds like the real noise .
It's kind of yeah . Survey says All right .
Here we go . I think it is 100 people were surveyed . Top five answers on the board . Name a food dog's love just as much as humans do . All of us as a cunt family .
Oh no , I got that All right . Heavy flow day , family Peanut butter Wow .
All of us , as a cunt family , need to seal Chicken pat . Chicken number two 14 . Would you like to ?
continue or pass it on . I'm gonna continue , pat . All right , now you know what I mean .
Name a food . Come on over , smoochy , smooch . Name a food dog's love just as much as humans do Beef . Can you specify Steak ? Steak number one answer . All right , three left on the board . Name a food . Who's this ? Who's this in your family ? What's this cunt family ? What's your name ? Is this baby pussy cunt ?
Name a food dog's love just as much as humans do .
Oh fucking shit ass .
All right strike two .
Strike one .
This is the name of the food . You know , the dog's like Just the food , yeah .
French fries .
Heavy flow day family . Get ready . They get steel . Get ready for the steel Name , a food dog's love just as much as humans do Rice .
Heavy flow day . We're excited about this , pat . We have a couple answers to choose from here . All right , how many answers are left ?
Three , three are left . We only have to get one because you steal them .
That's right , we're going to go with cheese .
Yeah .
All right , really , yeah , that was a cheese with eight . We get bread and hamburger . All right , heavy flow day family . Actually , you realize cheese is terrible for dogs to eat . I know they shouldn't be in that dairy . How many points did I get from that ? 76 . Are we keeping score ?
I don't fucking remember .
Next up Off to the cum family . Heavy flow day family . Up to the fucking podium , hey Pat how are you ? All right Okay .
Here we go , here we go .
Damn we lost all our viewers . Yeah , it don't matter .
It don't matter right now . All right . 100 people surveyed Top five answers on the board . This time they're doubled . Name something in the person's closet that only comes out on special occasions . Oh , this is a cum family , A suit Pat . All right . Number one answer . Are you going to go on or are you going to ?
I'm going to pass this .
Oh shit , I don't think that's ever happened in the feud before . Okay , heavy flow day . Family Top four . Oh yeah , three answers left on the board . Name something in a person's closet that only comes out on special occasions I'm thinking like Deldo's and chant .
You just robbed my answer .
It's Valentine's Day . I got the drill , though .
We're going to go with a dress .
Number two 2652 , 70 , 112 points up there on the board . Three answers left . No beads . That should be number one .
Can you repeat it again ?
Oh , my God Name something in a person's closet that only comes out on special occasions Real doll .
My Lisa and flashlight .
Beef Wellington special occasions .
We're going to go with Santa outfit . Okay , well , not too many people have like Santa outfits .
Three answers left . Heavy flow day family .
That was our first strike .
Yeah , first strike Name something in a person's closet that only comes out on special occasions .
I'm going to go with a hat .
Strike two Offs .
the cunt family get ready for the steal I actually passed . So if he strikes out , I win . No , I don't think that's how it works . I believe it is , but let's steal it anyway . Let's steal it anyway , all right , okay .
Hey name , something that only comes out on special occasions .
Your son .
That's close to home .
That's all I have left , not your son .
No , I know that , but who's son , who's son's in the closet , oh , oh .
See what I did there .
All right , Offs the cunt family for the steal . Three answers left on the board . A tuxedo pet .
I was going to say that , but I thought it was .
Unfortunately that goes with suit . Oh , okay , all right , a tie 112 points to heavy flow day family . That's why my money was on him . You got a 180 to 0 . All right , let's see what number three was .
Jewelry . Oh , you don't know me to jewel in the closet , but I'm okay .
Number four Dress shoes . And number five , what should be number one , shotgun .
Shotgun .
Yeah , for those special break in occasions .
Wow .
All right , all right , all right , all right , all right .
Okay , I got to fuck it .
All right . Values are tripled .
Values are tripled . Top three answers on the board oh shit , 100 people surveyed . Name another word people say for rear end Offs the cunt family Dairy air . Unfortunately I have the top three .
Heavy flow day Trunk pat . Wow here you go Offs the cunt family .
Daphne S oh I got it S . It's arse , but we'll give them credit . Okay , so top , top two . Two more answers left on the board . What number was that one ? That was number two , arse number two . All right , rear end Name another word people say for rear end .
Shitter .
That's a good one . That's my top one . Offs the cunt family Name , another word people use for rear end . I mean it's like obvious , yeah right . I mean like how much longer we're going to give it All right ? Strike number two Heavy flow day family . Get ready for the steal . Fuck , how come he's stealing everything , Don't I fucking get ?
anything when he hits your lung ? No , I don't get it .
Name another word people use . Say for rear end . You're real fucking , fucking dick . Somebody say for rear end , but I don't know what you're saying . But , number one answer . All right , so we got . There's a lot of points up there and this one could you know , so you got the last one left . Name another word people use for rear end .
Poopshoot the button's not even working .
now we're in the show there it is , so that's wrong .
We can't do the boopshoot and back to the heavy flow day family for the steal and the win .
Oh , and the win . I'm sweating in here . So what answers were said already ? And there's one .
That was number one . Arse . Number two Name a word , name another word . People say for rear end .
We're going to go with booty .
That was a good one .
All right , win , fucking . No ops . The Cunt family . They got a lot . 178 . You're like , you know , you're like 230 to your . What do you got ? 112 or 188 , 188 to 230 . All right , fuck , I was hoping you got the fucking wrong . What was the ? Last answer Sorry , sorry , where'd it go ? Number nine survey says so I was going to say seat .
No , no , where'd it go ? Oh , number three , backside . Number four was Derriere , five was bottom Six , heine , but we only did the top three trunk . We're your end like , but booty , all right .
I was just a back , like some X a lot would say . Uh-oh . It's a game over .
That's not a food . Why would they put that up there ? Top three answers on the board Hundred people surveyed . Name . Something you do in front of a mirror Offs the come family Master bait . That should be number one . Have you flow day family .
Look at yourself .
That falls out of the top three comb your hair . Number two , 23 Okay , yeah , uh , name something put on your makeup . Strike one .
Brush your teeth . Number one answer I .
Don't think anybody's getting this one and there's only one left . Name something you would do in a mirror . Strike number two Name something you would do in a mirror .
Tie , your tie .
Heavy floor day family for this deal good guess one answer left Um name , something you would do in front of a mirror shave , opps , come . Family wins . Sorry , ladies , gentlemen . Number three pop a pimple , wow . Number four check out your outfit . And number five practice those dance moves . All right , so we're going to final off , final feud .
You seem very distraught by the fact you lost that .
I'm just like shave not on there .
I don't disagree with you . No , hey , listen , who knows where they're ? They're doing these survey questions . I Mean it could be certain parts of Pennsylvania . People don't do that .
What what . What did they call it ? What did they call the feud ?
the final , is it the ?
fast money .
What he said Fast money here we go fast money questions for the family feud .
All right , all right . Do we need a timer ?
Um what is it ? How many seconds ?
Well , I think the well . There's two parts of 45 and then 30 , right , I think it's 30 .
How come I can't find any fast money questions family feud there we go , got it .
Here we go , all right .
Yeah , don't worry about that , Don't you dare . I'm sweating .
Really bad , okay , okay , I think about a hockey again . What .
You're a fucking dick . Okay , here we go . Here we go 24 , 43 , 59 , 72 , 74 , 80 . Okay , the only reason the person might wake up okay . Here we go . What the hell wanted all my worst ? These things are like changing on me are .
They live surveys it's fast money ?
Okay , here we go , here we go .
Here we go ready , I'm ready .
Someone's got to write these answers down .
You just can't click them now .
Just write something . There we go . Kevin , makes yourself useful bro .
Bitch .
All right . Well , this is a con family for fast money . Was there anything ? Nothing in the background , okay . Name a reason the person might wake up at two o'clock in the morning , have to pee . Name something you might eat with a hamburger french fries . Name something you haven't done since high school gym class Dodgeball .
We asked a hundred Americans how much do you tip for good service ?
20% .
All right , that was five For no P .
French fries dodgeball 20% as for okay .
Who was the most popular character on the sitcom friends ?
Rachel , okay .
All right . So yes , here we go . Name a reason a person might go wake up at two o'clock in the morning and your answer was to pee to pee . Survey says 24 . All right , name something you might eat with a hamburger . Your response french fries . 60 . What do you got to do ? 200 points .
And it's okay people , yeah , that's all right .
Sorry , let's see what you guys name something you haven't done since high school gym class . You said dodgeball 23 . Top answer was run a mile . You haven't done that in your life . We asked a hundred Americans how much do you tip for good service ? Your answer 20% , 39 , number one answer . And who is the most popular character on sitcom of friends ?
Your answer Rachel , 19 , top answer , by the way . So we got for total 168 . Huh , all right , it doesn't matter what he fucking got , cuz he ain't winning anything anyway . Thanks for joining us on the shitty part of the feud .
That was horrible . All this is a cunt family will live in him .
I Got some blood on the fucking carpet over here . Got the pussy cunts over here in the corner . Crazy how long we've been going here , pat . We're going quite some time now . Hour and 20 minutes , oh yeah , so we can get to that closing monologue . Yes , I think so that's great , cuz I'm sweat . I don't know why I'm sweating , so he's still shaking up .
You know what dude ?
You're anticipating getting out of here and practicing up on your hockey .
No , it made me dislike the game that much more , since I was like , oh , look at this , a fucking minion can do it . So shit , but do you how many again get discussion with ? Except angers me . Anywho , all I know is there's corruption in the world and it comes from every single Biden . Hmm yes , the Obamas are assassins , just another one in the long line .
If Trump farts in the wind , he's gonna get indicted .
The EPA's could be all over
¶ Chef's Memoir and Future Plans
you know .
You know we forgot to touch on , though . Why do we think that the chef was Unalopped ?
I probably heard something . Oh , the story is he was supposed to be releasing a memoir , oh , divulging some information . So what ? It happened was was it a picture book ? He was paddleboarding Michelle Michaels . Shlong slipped out of her a bikini .
Barak was boarding his paddle .
Barak was boarding , barak was boarding .
And we're done here , I think we're done .
So somebody was boarding somebody's penis , paddleboarding with it , and I mean , so he saw it , so I'm shells dick , just a tip . And it was massive , and she was paddleboarding with it . Oh , so that was in his memoirs and so he was unalived after that .
You don't take notes when you work with these people ? Why would you ? You just kind of go about your business and look down , yep , cook some fucking cook some eggs , cook some steak for dinner and live little sea bass Then then live see , man See little see man .
Look at them in shells shells , canoeing on her dick .
Wow .
Took a fucking toboggan .
Oh , thank God we got no one paying attention to us .
Oh god . So hey , oh , oh . So when the intro song right , remember what a yes . There's several ways , whatever yes . So we were talking about how it would be great when we become famous , uh-huh , and we were talking about how we would come into places with that playing and he was like we were talking about strobe lights .
Kevin's like yeah , there's gotta be colors , oh , there's gotta be colors .
The colors , man , the colors .
We got some laser shows going yeah , smoke , and we're like . Certain parts of the song is like people are gonna be fucking blown out of the stage . But I don't know if that would have worked , with you Blowing out of the stage , you know , just getting shot up , dive-olged up to the stage . We're gonna divulge people on stage .
No , mess , come on , I think you walk , mass , just blinked .
Like a separate set .
I don't know , get us to fuck out of here Swiping so bad , pulling the cord .
I gotta take a nap .
That's cuz we're from the Say . Maybe this should be our entrance . Ladies and gentlemen , thank you for joining us on this sweaty , divulging version of the take a deep show 71 episodes in the books to all your pussy cunts out there .
In your pockets . The Lord cigarettes man . I get respect from what I did . Take a look , yeah , I didn't really make no hits like your back . I murdered a boombox . I swear back then the happy , some light . You got a shoe box full of my teeth you should play like a chill box when the upstay fine is a red . Run the wrong . I mean your Respect .
I get cheese without fucking with keys . Ice with beat yeah , can't please . I read beats . It's crested young . Get it done . Oh , that's my .