Ep. 70 Crossing the Boundaries: From Moon Conspiracies to Baseball Thrills and Italian Provisions

That's crazy . That's fucking crazy . I like that song , by the way .

Ah , I'm gonna finish playing that it's .

It's guy's name says To a-chim-is-world Tile children's children's Can't seem to shake , but I remember your words , lord . They bring me to chills . Keep your nose on the grindstone and out of the pills I can do a little karaoke .

Are you recording again ? Yeah , go it on live . Go it on live . It's a TID pre-show .

I keep in mind that a man's just as good as his word . It takes costs as long to build bridges you've burnt and there's hurt you can cause . Time alone cannot heal .

Keep your nose on the grindstone and out of the pills . Keep on doing those oxys and you'll see a thrill Now that .

I've been tired . I just can't catch a break . There's too much in this world . I can't seem to shake . But I remember your words , Lord . They bring me to chills . Keep your nose on the grindstone and out of the pills . Keep your nose on the grindstone .

What's up ? Facebook ? Little TID pre-show what I like about you . Oh , oh , oh . Well , then no one's gonna hear me chewing super sour on the way before .

Now we're .

Now we're live . Now we're live . You're waiting for me to fucking stick to patient super sour on my mouth and then you went live .

Thanks , gotta hear you chew like a savage . How long do you think Facebook will let us play that song 14 to 24 seconds Till . Will they give us notice ?

Welcome .

All right , so we just play it .

Yeah .

If anybody's out there they want a good song , great song Tyler , tyler , childers , childers , childers , yeah .

Childers , Childers . You have a hard time pronouncing that .

Childers . Well , I've come this deep . Let's be honest . All right , listen to this song . This is a good one . That's Facebook Copyright . What , oh ? The nose of the grindstone .

Hey , oh , stop .

Two has got a lot of followers . Yeah , On Spotify like 9 million .

Oh wow , never heard of them before . Nice Kev . This is Kevin's song when he's oh wow , I've never heard of him before . Oh wow , nice Kev . This is Kevin's song when he's oh wow , I've never heard of him before .

Oh wow , I've never heard of him before . Oh wow , I've never heard of him before oh wow .

This is Kevin's song when he's bringing down the food and shit .

Put him working more . He said one of these days you'll get out of these hills , kevin Orbury , ladies and gentlemen , Keep your nose on the grindstone and out of the pills .

That's your song right there when you go up and get something else , bitch . I felt like those were good ones . That's very good right there . I mean spicy super son Hard provolone . Yeah , imported , Little imported provolone Dude , I can eat that cheese all day . I'm gonna eat that cheese that over here , those goddamn dogs , they're savages .

I don't understand how they want to get out Next time Kevin comes down , 15 dogs Next time Kevin comes down , make me a fucking dish . Make me a fucking sandwich .

Oh , my God , you want to hear what he wanted to talk about tonight .

Well , he didn't put it on the grease board like he said for the last three weeks .

So so he wanted to talk about um , what's your man do'sy ? Wait a minute . Uh , jamie Foxx's clone . I looked at him and like get the fuck out of here right now .

I saw that on TikTok today also and I'm like this is just fucking . I just can't .

It's all smoke and mirrors . That's the way it is With anything .

Well , Jamie Foxx , Tamar Hamlin yeah , you know , Did you see ? Did you see what they're saying about fucking Kanye ?

What .

Totally a clone . They got two pictures One with a fucking small head , one with a big head , and one looks like he's got shoulder pads on under his fucking shirt . I'm like what the fuck ?

is that I just watched they . They clone Tyrone on Netflix . Dude , I'm sitting there like looking at this movie . I'm like , yeah , this can happen . This can totally fucking happen .

Well , that's what you're saying .

They're saying Every now and again I run into my doppelganger .

They're saying Hollywood's fucking with us and they're telling us what they're doing in these movies . I'm watching and laughing at all the way we're going . I was just moving .

So , like you know what let's , let's make this one as obvious as can be and see if they believe it . So we're going to call this one . They clone Tyrone . First of all , who was Tyrone in the movie ?

I don't know , but Jamie Foxx is in that movie .

Dude . Jamie Foxx is great in that movie . It's fucking awesome . I watched it together night , definitely . I recommend that . That was really good .

The other thing I watched Don't tell anyone what browser channel you are .

No no , no , dude , I can't tell you the last time I cranked . It's been a while . Yeah , man , it's been a while .

Maybe you need to see the doctor .

Maybe I need a little stained . It's been a while oh oh , Clogged up like fucking Yellowstone . It's going to be like a scene out of 2012 .

Oh , look at 2012 glazed , 2012 glazed Pat's Odyssey .

Oh God .

Oh .

Hey , mr Hobbs , hey , buddy , you're fucking sandwich . Oh God , yeah , yeah .

Yeah .

Oh , you got some cool , you got some balsamic vinegar .

It's oil , garlic infused , probably Urb de province .

What Urb de province , hmm .

Oh my Jesus , look at this . Look at the little . Look at how bougie we have become . Look at this . Right now you got . You got oil on your plate . Some cracked pepper . Maddie just put oil on his bread . Meanwhile , nobody even sees what's in the middle of the table . Right now we have some hot super sop . It's all part of the process .

No , I think that's two lemons that have been down here for a month . Oh Okay , pay no mind to those , never mind .

That's an experiment .

What do you wait for it to turn into ?

Kanye West .

The clone of Tyrone .

I'm seeing how long it takes for it to go bad down here for when the apocalypse comes .

I mean that's here we go , the cockpocalypse .

Time table . The cock is falling from the sky . What's going on with the cockpocalypse ? Oh God , you gotta love the pre-show .

It's a number one movie by David Rand .

No , you are correct , I thought it was a heart but , it is a Pentagon , hex , hex whatever Like you are .

How's that going , by the way ?

It's horrible , yeah , talking to your microphone .

Are you going to do anything about that ?

Yeah , can I have a cleansing ? You have sage . I'm sure I got some kind of sage sage Rosenfeld , fuck , see , no , we need , it's real sage . I've been cursed man .

What now oh ?

I've just been curr ever since that happened , dude .

It's been horrible flowers , like you can't deny it .

No , you can't . I'm totally with it right now , even after it again , unfortunately , at the time I felt invincible and thank you , which which devil yeah , thank you , which devil for stopping on my life for the best fucking month and a half .

Jesus , I'm sorry .

I'm gonna make myself a plate you should make yourself a plate , because Kevin's I got obviously not when I asked to make me a plate bitch I .

Do not around here .

Are you feeling under appreciated right now ?

Do you need to be ? Do you need to be spanked more often ?

I've fixed the microphones before and gain credit .

I Said what nice little reset of the system go ahead and tell them about it .

Yeah , it wasn't working for me . And then Matt made a suggestion , which , honestly , probably the best suggestion of the night . How about you just shut it off and turn it back on ? Guess what happened ? Boom , blammy , boom , she'll plow .

No , no , no , I wasn't doing no , there's no no no , anything in here glaysing , but not blowing Dive .

Ah , that's the word I've all divulging . Keep on saying glazing .

Well , it's the same thing . Yeah , I mean you divulge until you glaze .

This is really what it is . I'm divulging in this glaze and that I'm about to divulge on you .

You want some of that oil for the bread . Yeah , yeah , yeah yeah , bread's good , isn't it ? You can't , you can't be good fresh Italian bread that Just so thick crust .

It's so , so thick . What Are you divulging ? Can I see that assalting pepper there ? Huh , a little bit of that , a little bit of twists and turns . Yeah , see , this is the way every Sunday should be . I agree it's like like family dinner , but we do it live .

Is anyone watching us eat ?

yeah , one , one , maybe two .

I'm not on , so Okay is it Ben Travers ?

We're gonna find out in a minute I .

Realize we were a lot .

Yeah .

So did you hear a song I played ?

yeah .

What'd you think ?

I like that a lot .

No , we , we are here on the pre show . Look at that , mm-hmm . All right then .

Not gonna lie , it's like food porn right now for me .

It's been a while . How's my slicing ? It's impressive . You did a nice job on the Super Saiyan . You really did .

That's delicious .

Tell me a piece of bread , dick have a . You just literally take a piece of bread , throw it .

All right yeah .

The ones like why you're not eating dinner . I'm like no reason , no reason at all . See you later .

I got sausage and onions and a pretzel rolls too .

Wow , stain came at stains .

Back out with a new one they're going on tour is not what happens after you . Please , I'm gonna be a dipole .

Yes , so that like listen to this one . This is just how we're gonna open it up .

Well , don't play it until we're gonna open it up .

We're opening up .

Are we doing it now ?

Yeah , we're gonna do it . I mean , what's wrong with glazing now ? Yeah , why would survive ? Let's go .

I think I used to play Nobody's got every . Save you from yourself .

Oh , oh , oh , oh oh . Ttt , oh , oh yeah , yeah , can't do . That was fucking spicy super top in my mouth . Yeah , whoa , oh , little more difficult . I'm almost choking at time . Oh yeah , ladies and gentlemen , get a little glimpse of the pre-show . Welcome to the real thing , episode 70 . Episode 70 . Welcome to the ticket D show episode .

Who cares ? He was a coke 70 Seven .

Fuck

I kept on looking at my drink . I was like let me just keep on drinking it . Would you like a drink ? Yeah , I got mine , you give me some ice , sure ?

Oh , I knocked over a microphone .

You know what , like you're seeing first of all , oh , whoops . First of all , been a while , we have breaking news , ladies and gentlemen . Oh , yesterday , matt Farnman , what'd you like for your ? Um , the less vagina one , the ? Yeah , that's Pepsi .

That's delicious , by the way .

I know it is . Matt Farnman got his first base hit of the .

Right old season , the 2023 season ? Yes , no , how far into the season ?

are we .

Uh no , I think it's three-quarter , I don't know . So we're deep in there .

Yeah , I've only . I've shown up to , like you , maybe eight games and played in five of them .

Think I have 12 at bats , uh , and , like he's been six hit by pitches .

Oh nice , my on base percentage is ridiculous .

It is a little stupid when you look at it . But uh , he got hit yesterday , I got hit yesterday . Uh , who else can ? Maybe else can hit guys get hit a lot .

No , no smatters .

It's usually when he gets hit , I get hit .

Well , it's funny because normally pat bats way up in the order . I was batting less . No , I was batting , oh you see , I was second .

Yeah , you're out .

second the lurcher was last .

They wanted me to protect pat in your order Just tell her job , by the way .

So I mean I wouldn't ask for another compadre out there , except that it's hit by the pitch .

Let's go a lot . A lot of guys get hit in that league .

Yeah , um .

Couple of game .

Yes , it was my first game without a hit . I've been turning a cover off the ball .

No , I'm talking about , like guys getting hit by pitch . Oh , yeah , yeah .

I would say so . So that's my breaking news , fucking .

Ben , what do you say ? Stop eating and start talking . You know what , ben ?

You know what , ben ? Let me know when this gets annoying because it's annoying me .

He's just , he's upset that he doesn't have any fresh Italian provisions right now .

All right , dude , it's delicious . Thank you .

My pleasure . Yeah , I mean , that is stellar , you know , would make that even killer olives .

Hmm .

Right , if you think about it . Nice little green olive . What did you just fucking say ?

Muffelado you never heard of muffelado Like a big , big fucking sandwich .

Obviously I've not been to enough brunches on sundaes .

No , I thought it was like an Italian thing .

What's a muffelado I ?

don't have to say as fucking idea , who's Italian is this ? It's something , it's , it's it's made up sandwich that non-Italians talk about .

Yeah , Now you use slice open of cacha bread and you spread it with fucking olive spread . You know like uh olive medley Usually like the pimento a medley .

I'll give you a medley of medleans .

It's got a Uh you know like you start glazing everything like some kind of dressing on it .

What's some glaze olives ?

Didn't you eat it ? It's good .

Speaking of eating , how many milligrams have I gone through ? I don't know what you're gonna hit . The last one now .

Oh , yeah , the last one , huh .

What's how much was the last one ? Oh , Kevin's got a roommate tonight .

Well , you're probably around 50 .

Oh no , because I think this was the same selection last time now there's .

My face was melting off . Now there's new ones .

So I don't know there , those sevens , the blues , I remember the little blue ones .

Did you just hear that what ? So you know why he did that , right ? No , the the silent assassin Is doing some work with Jackson Bjorn For the next couple weeks , all right , so people so so kev's looking .

People know who Jackson Bjorn are now because we release episode 60's seven 68 , jackson Bjorn was introduced to the world . He's been outed , yeah , and I was listening to it the other day and it's a real fucking conspiracy that whole story like .

I don't know what to say that you can't make that shit up , muffelado is the muff of a half Back half , oh Jesus . Christ , don't , don't even repeat it , don't you repeat it .

You know what Ben ?

I think Ben's sitting downstairs drinking some bourbon .

I think Ben's got some edibles in him . He might .

Oh boy .

I can't believe you said that .

You're right , that's not a character .

Well , it is , it's it is . He must be on the . He must be on the north side of uh , boston right now .

Just just so you know that your , your name , comes up on the uh , yeah , your full name .

You're your full name's up there in the chat , just so you know . Ben Travers , I mean we let the cat out of the bag there , but Jesus , oh my god and first of all , Kevin , we are not . I started . I feel like I'm vibrating . We , we are not talking about jamie fox's clone .

Why not because ? There's no relevance in that there's no truth .

Well , you know what ? Let's go to the grease board that Kevin's gonna fill with ideas to talk about . Oh , there it is . Oh , oh , it looks like the same grease board . Yeah , we've been doing that from for a while .

We could actually roll with those topics .

You're as reliable on the grease board as fellas .

Wow , that kind of burns .

Phil OBS , neck and neck dude on the grease board chart .

You neck and neck not even first .

I got it . Yeah , what the grease board .

Yeah , that's not glow in the dark one .

It's definitely not going to dark one , unless you fucking glazed it , we don't know , yeah , it's something I see down at a . He was tired out of side of road . Someone threw it out and just picked it up .

What's up with this wet streak down in the middle ? It's like it's all weathered .

We'll clean that up . Well , who's that awful ? The dogs lick it and I'll bring it downstairs . Let the guys look at it .

Spray a white spray paint and they won't know the fucking difference . Should have bought napkins down the front . Napkins , no , that's what you get the bread for .

Think about bread soaks everything up . It's true , mmm .

Mmm , hey damn .

Next week I'll see about getting some fresh mozzarella .

Yeah , we'll talk about some , some real muffalados too , oh okay , so what did you want to talk about today , kev .

I don't know . We can talk about anything . Do you want to give him politics ? You love politics . I fucking hate politics man Maybe I really do now yeah maybe , maybe some UFOs seem like this guy over here . Yeah , he's . First of all there's a lot .

There's a lot of you If you believe that interview is real .

First of all , let's just hold up . Here you are , you are the , the fucking do you not realize it anytime ?

You're the .

Joaquin Phoenix of science .

Do you not realize ? Anytime I see anything UFO , I have to send it now .

No , I understood , totally understood .

But there was nothing real about that . I was laughing , my ass , I'm sitting there like watching the report .

I'm like , is this fucking guy actually reporting this right now ? Like , oh yeah , the daily news had this . No wonder why they didn't go fucking public with it . There's a reason , do you believe ? Like the one that , like you said in the text , uh , the autopsy , that well , I said that one is more believable .

Yeah you know um , Maybe I don't know what do you mean ?

a black and white , grainy footage with no sound and I look like the alien head from . Oh yeah , look at that , I've seen that filter on instagram .

Hmm , it says record at the bottom and it's counting backwards . Yeah , yeah , that's . That's legit I like . The only thing that I think is legit is that one that happened in fucking or brazil or columbia .

Dude , you know what I heard ? That uh like all those videos of like nuclear bombs being exploded like at sea .

And it's supposed to be fake . They're all fake .

Yeah , they never happened .

Your . I know why you're talking about . That is because of the house where there was a car and then there was no car . Yeah , I know exactly what you're talking about . So you know like they think it was , they think the nuclear blast that have supposedly been recorded have been fake . Reason why best question anybody can ask what about the camera ?

No , and there's like a famous one of , like a , like a building being blown away , like a house , you know , like old oh , from a new , from a nuclear test . Yeah , you put you'd be like , oh yeah that one Um , if you ever seen it um .

I haven't , I don't go in that it's .

that's what I do like the flash happens and then there's like there's no car , there's no car behind . Then after the flash , there's a car and then after the flash there's like a big old caddy in the in the driveway .

So so nuclear bombs , create catalogs .

No , no , are you sure ? But then what happened with fucking Hiroshima and Nagasaki ?

Okay , how about this ? How come neither one of those places are a nuclear wasteland ? Very , very good , kevin . Wow , yeah , I'll think about it , hmm .

I mean it's it's true what they say .

Just ask the obvious question right , everyone should have an orbs . Thanks , buddy .

You can be a real cunt sometimes when it comes up with some good quality shit .

Um no , dude , that's um . Did I tell you I changed in my fancy football team name this year ? Yeah , you know . That's why I just looked at you .

Fuck man . This is a . This is a real thing .

What happened . We were on a phone the other night and Kevin was being a little cunty , so I made it . It might have been a rash decision . I have to think about it , but I changed my team name to orbs as a cunt .

The cunt of orbs .

Like am I really that bad ? This is something I gotta work on well , if you're asking the question , kevin .

I mean if they , if it's I'm just gonna leave that there .

All right , so sweet , so then okay . So nuclear bombs are fake , the could be the moon landings fake .

Yes , I see more and more about that since you guys started talking about it .

It's so crazy . It's not only that , but like people actually being out there anywhere . It's all like green screen trip .

I Like to think we were .

You know , but perhaps I didn't like what they saw , yeah oh yeah , who fucking Optimus Prime Do they say here we ? Go . I know where he's gonna go with it .

I was really trying hard not to make that reference , but I know exactly where he's gonna go with it is . They discovered that it was a what ?

Really the spaceship like the , like the Death Star . Yeah yeah , it's hollow . We've been through this . What you've never heard you never .

You've never heard the hollow moon . We've talked now . Yeah , we discussed this before .

It's a great . It's a . It's why . That's why this is why I'm stopping drinking . It's an eerie .

It's an eerie fucking thing because , all right , explain how and why it's called the hollow moon so the um , One of the first missions to the moon , yeah they um .

They crashed like a satellite or lander or something into it you know something ?

Yeah , something , they didn't . I think it was a satellite that crashed into the moon .

You know something they didn't need and they just wanted to like , get like seismic activity what ? Happened . Yeah , you know information . You know because they set up like shit on the surface and whatnot and um , it rang like a bell for like 20 minutes . Oh , the entire moon just like reverberated Back and forth for , like you know , indicating it was hollow .

You're definitely on my lighter . Yeah , no , it's out on the oh , did you coming out of Queen's Mountain ? Yeah , yeah , you said . I mean , you said two weeks smoke-free , did he not , did he not ?

Then they did another one , a bigger one and it it . It rang for like almost two hours . Oh uh rang like a bell . Oh , exact words . So you know , there's uh there's some stuff out there . Yeah , uh , a lot of eyebrows .

You know , you know you have bumblebee ratchet . I mean can't See . You know what there is so like it's . There's so much stuff in this world that I want to say yes to like . I want to because I honestly , from , from 45 years of life , I've seen the most absurd shit . You know what I'm saying and I was like you know what ?

This is why ignorance is bliss , because if you don't know any of this stuff , you just fucking bop around , go through life . You know , you know it makes life .

It makes life much more interesting . But a little bit paranoid , it's a little scary , yes or no ?

um , you've heard about like the , you know , like the oh he's gonna add to it , um , the the face of the moon , like it's got like a , like a dark and a light to it . You know , um , if you take that as like what do you think he's going to do ?

What .

You know .

So how the like the Flat Earth model of the like the the glow You're talking about , like Pasitomia , whatever the fuck it was back in the day and whatever yeah what have you ? Oh boy Mesitomia , whatever it was .

Or like the , like the UN map .

You know what I mean , yeah everything's all together , flat Earth you're looking at , you're looking at the North Pole , and everything's all connected .

Yeah , yeah , yeah , that's what you see in the moon and it's , it's true , like when you look at videos and stuff , like it's crazy .

Oh , even what you've seen on the moon . Should we ? Should we ?

should we research this right now for the , the two people that are watching us ?

Dude , oh you gotta .

We had three , but Kat chased one of them right away .

I don't think it's a full moon . You won't be able to tell .

No , but we could say what Reverse image .

Yeah , moon , reverse image of Earth . Or just write moon , image of Earth and you'll the browsers reverse moon . Yeah .

Yeah .

Image , what image ? What Earth , moon , earth image .

Oh .

Images , now images for moon Earth .

So it's like Earth is or the moon .

Moon reverse , would you say it was .

It's like the reverse negative of the Reverse negative . Of the Earth . Yeah , the image that's on the face of the moon .

Double negative Dude . I can find something like that Double O zero .

Like that's awful , Kevin , because moons Reverse .

Moon reflection of Earth .

Moon . Reflection of Earth Moon . There you go , reflection .

Of Earth . Just passed , you just passed it Whenever .

Well , he's taking Earth . Take a look at that .

This thing .

So you see how , like the , the dark and the light , let's see , or so ?

And he like a big picture . I know , kevin . I know , in a simple world , this is what we see on the moon , of course with the colors right , cause on the movie we see everything like white and gray . So the continents would be gray and the water is white Cause of the reflection of plasma , everything's technology . The big question is who does this reflection ?

We got too quiet . Oh , wait a minute .

Is this it ?

As reflection here .

it is that looks like devils in there .

Here it is . It sounds like a fucking a puff daddy song about to start Flat Earth .

Did it Like there's other ones you can look at there Probably better than .

Yeah , I know I'm gonna show you . I'm trying to pay attention to what we're doing here instead of getting all quiet . It's more for Pat to edit out .

Yeah , it's good times .

Why you gotta be like that .

Cause I love editing . So that's what it looks . That's the opposite .

I mean it's like a topographical map . Oh , I see where they're going , or it's Courtney loves left ass cheek . Either way , they're going with the thing on the top left to that .

I don't know about that . That don't look like anything like it , All right so . So thanks for taking up our time on that one Kev .

Just watch it . You don't have to listen to it , just watch it . Kevin , I need you can talk about it as you watch it I need a lighting device .

A sink and mirror . So that's it opposite .

Oh , my God . I thought somebody was grazing Anyway that's another one , that the moons of projection and that moonlight is actually colder than like light . That's like in the night shade , like if it wasn't like a shade of a tree , like straight up moonlight is colder than like light . That would be in like a shade at night .

Why is that that's ?

scientifically proven too .

Why is that ?

I don't know . Weird though , right .

Well , how do you know ? I don't know .

The whole kind of weird , though the moonlight supposed to be just reflected sunlight , right . Because it's just on a different plane and whatnot . So if it was , it would be warmer , wouldn't it ? But it's actually colder than air that's in the shaded area in the nighttime .

I don't know why I haven't had a drink in almost 30 straight days and right now I'm starting to shake . Sorry , buddy .

Can I just get a lighter , because these gummies are starting to hit me right now and I think they're smoking cigarettes .

I don't know if we have a vessel to .

What you see my eyes , you feel my eyes .

Oh yeah , I forgot you'd all that shit . A couple of cubes .

Maybe some liquid , a little bit of liquid in there . Oh Wow , five for five . He's the . He's the fucking dark-eyed ice-tossing . Awesome .

We have two dark-eyed on the grill . If only Razor Ramon was still alive , I'd throw my side of his ass Rest in peace .

You don't give a shit . Shut up with that .

Alright , so the moon's hollow . They clone Kanye and and Jamie .

Foxx Zach Efron too .

Who , well , why , what what ?

Yeah , yeah , they got Zach .

Oh , there's a whole bunch . I could say I don't even know what to say to that right now . I'm just like what the f*** is going on ? Zach Efron First time he's ever been mentioned on the show .

Is it really yeah ? No way .

Totally .

Welcome to the show .

Zach , I'm glad you made it buddy . Now I'm gonna put his name in the fucking tabs and see if people who ever searched Zach Efron our video will come up . Oh , look at that .

Hopefully . Well , I was in right shit on the grease board , but at least you brought up Zach Efron , that's it , that's great .

Great Britain loves Zach Efron .

Oh my god , we just lost every possible listener of the show .

Oh , there's two . Thanks , man .

I wonder who else is the second one ? It might be me . Oh , you're totally gets my hopes up .

I feel , less now . Well , you pay no attention to this f***ing shit . And I can't see because the lights in the way .

I'm trying to pay attention to it . I just can't see straight .

How have the numbers been ?

What numbers we talk about that ?

privately Are Nielsen rating .

Yeah , heather Nielsen rating . I just almost passed out laughing , so hard .

Don't wait to get one of those mushroom bars . No no no , no , you have those today too . No .

Oh god , you have those .

I get them tomorrow .

Pat's sleeping over tonight . No , it's just like we can have those today . That would have been f***ing crazy .

Yeah , I actually thought about it , really slept on it .

No , like Friday I was going to be like he was going to pick them up right after he jotted some things down on the grease board .

He must have got held up . Some things must have come up . Yeah , what was so important on Friday that you got held up ? You can write on the grease board Bachelor life . Seriously .

Making a putting green .

Silent assassins away at f***ing Bjorn's house . I looked like a frat boy right now . So I was upstairs earlier and I'm like , looking at it , I thought it was like a clear bottle cap and I'm like I like reach them like this thing's full of water . I was like , oh f*** , this is all water . So like what the f*** is this ?

That's not what I said . That's not what I said .

Okay , how did you say it ? She's not listening to the show you know you like my wife's not here to clean it up , these things will happen .

No , no , I said my wife's not around . Shit like this is going to happen , you know , like if she was around .

I mean , let's read between the lines .

Drop an ice cube and a bottle cap .

Let's read between the lines on that . That's exactly what you meant .

I can't wait for the assassin to come home . I want to get the f***ing .

you have to get the story , yeah for those of you who got into episode 67 , the Jackson Bjorn story yeah , so far nothing , what do ? You mean nothing .

So far nothing . He hasn't , he hasn't recouped yet he's home .

Yeah , yeah , it's all normal .

It's all right , back to normal

Let me just get $15,000 and gift cards real quick .

Pat , this is how spies work . Obviously they're lolling at you .

I'm f***ing , I'm lost right now . This is , this is a you know definitely a born supremacy .

He's a deep sleeper agent and he's waiting for the code word to awaken and pounce into action again .

Yep , bjorn the ultimate gift cards . Nobody would figure that out . Dude , you got agents on the inside Like shits . Crazy right now Telling you like your wife's an agent on the inside . What ?

do you think ?

Yeah , she's going to go there . She's like Scarlett Johansson in the event . Alright , black widows in , let's go . No stories yet .

Maybe that's why she wouldn't fire at the paintball game . Perhaps .

What happened ? Registered devil weapons .

That's how she got her name to sign on his ass and we went and played paintball one day Like all day . She didn't fire shot .

Shoot what .

She didn't fire shot , she did not shoot her gun once . What ?

Yeah , what are you ?

talking about how was that possible ?

We were just a shot . When did you go ?

paintballing .

Years ago , oh .

I would love to go right now . You want to go ? I want to go , just fucking fucking yeah .

I was just . I was at the new lip I'm talking about .

I'm talking about doing some fucking Jason Bjorn shit . Okay , just fucking flips off the walls . Parkour , parkour , parkour , parkour .

Pats could be running from one obstacle to the other . Torn fucking Achilles and that's .

Torn Achilles in 15 feet Right .

Oh fuck , I'm down . I'm like just go , kev , go , I got it .

I'm going to be . I want to be on the same team as you when you go down . Yeah , I'm going to mercy kill you , I'm just going to call it behind you . No , no .

No more than I think about it Maybe .

Maybe Just do me Matt .

Fuck , stop shooting me in the head .

Just do me Mattie , that's it . Take me out . No , who would , who would ?

I'm not going to divulge on the paintball course .

Who , who would ? Who would go with us ? I'd go , obviously , you would Do you have ?

do you have stuff ?

Do I have stuff ?

No , I don't have stuff either .

Okay . So what do we do ? You rent it , Okay . How do we do that ?

At the place .

Obviously it's like written roller skates , but you're written guns .

Yeah , and don't you have to pay by , like the fucking jars of pellets .

No , you buy , you buy cases of paint . You can actually , actually you can actually . For a few bucks more , you can rent better guns now .

So what does that mean ? Better shot to kill ratio .

Well , faster , farther , straighter .

Harder Everything you want to gun man .

I'm just thinking about that pain when you catch it on the skin Kind of hurts .

I like to talk . I like to talk to gun up .

Would you like to do what I like ?

to talk , to gun up Little break , break some skin when I hit you .

You talking about talking guns or breaking skin ? Sick bastard .

Ben wants to bring back to my flotta . Oh , well . Is that going back to the college days , Ben ? Is that what you're getting at ?

We're going to have to kick him out of the chat .

No , we can't kick him out , he's no , paulie T .

We are the greatest podcast in the world , with one loyal listener .

That's all I know .

There is no , there is no podcast that can match us right now .

We get his merch . I did , I sent this Shut up , kevin . Yes , I said we went through this . He's like why is there a sock in here ? Remember the sock ?

You know what I'm talking about , glazed , he was all about the really nice sock .

Yeah , pat Davold's in a sock .

You don't remember that ?

Everything .

Yeah , why not ? Oh , face right into the sock , okay . Speaking of , oh so , ufos , okay , the here's the thing the more and more I see of what's going on in this world right now . It is the greatest game of charades ever .

You're calling it charades .

It's just , it's just you know , yeah , it's kind of like that and like three card Bonnie .

Yeah , father Queen , father Queen , father Queen , oh , he's stupid . Yeah , that's all I'm saying .

Ben hung the sock up in his garage , by the way .

No , he stood it up in his garage . However , way he did it , that sock was standing up on the way out . That's all I know . It was like one of those bronze slippers , but it was glazed . Ben's got one of those glazed slippers . That's great . Love it . Loyal fan right there , how's ?

the U-Walk mess hanging on the wall .

Why .

It's like the balloon you rub it on your head and you stick it on .

Did you do ? What did you just why ?

you know how much static those things give off . You just build up enough static like a balloon , you know . You just spam right on the wall . You're right over there , buddy , I'm fine but who ?

you're going on and on like it's a balloon and it's not no , I'm just saying the process . You know how you do that to a balloon yeah , why are you bringing it up with that same thing ?

the hair so I have to question what you rubbed it on , cuz yeah . I'm just saying what well , well , I mean between you and Pat , you might get you know very little static electricity oh , and it , would it grow out which it does grow out from time to time .

There's a lot there , it's just not in one spot , like if I was Jewish , nobody would know I was bald being sober has given me a filter .

I don't know if I like it , that's cuz you got your Yamaha on your hat , right in your head , your Yamaha yeah your miniature bike he's good to be in you with the propeller different colors all right , ufos moving on yeah .

I don't even know where to move on right now hey , well , let's go to the grease board and see what yeah .

Kevin grease board maybe , maybe zoom all right , you know , maybe a zoom here and there , what , what like that's so off-base was it's a little .

It's a fucking funny about that just the way you're complaining about it .

I was like you cut to you again it wasn't till just now .

You said it oh sure got it . You like some raspberry ginger ?

oh I want that piece of that super santa mmm till it and get some cheese mmm really good . That's good stuff . Yeah , not a lot any help . All right , moving on okay so have you had the opportunity to see ?

something for you . I have not my wife's a fucking killjoy . I think I'm just gonna go see it by myself , like a lunchtime one one day lunchtime showing it was good .

It's pretty good .

I like the lot now for everyone who I've known who seemed to was like very into it I did .

I . The last time I was at a movie where there was a standing ovation was rocky , for yeah , then , for what it's worth , I'm rooting for the socks against the Mets .

Sorry , pat then nobody .

You know what you're deleted . You don't come on this fucking chat and start saying socks , one Mets nothing you can't delete one loyal listener . He's giving me do whatever update man doesn't matter , nobody asked for it boots on the ground that's not boots on the ground .

He has fat boots at home hey , ben , if you could keep us in in up to date on the score the red socks Mets game , that'd be great . Look at that .

I'm just gonna shut off the comments oh , they're there , but I'm not gonna look at them .

I can still see them . Nobody cares about Ben's comments .

Keep it going . Ben Ben's pretty much talking to himself .

I got your buddy , oh shit .

Is there anything that's been so outlandish lately that you know needs to come to attention ?

have domestically themselves sellers , yet at the trade that I don't even know .

I even watch them so long what like world-wise anything , kevin ?

I don't know . It's like every day we get some new shit about fucking . Oh my god , this hunter Biden jet was real yeah .

I mean he's not gonna , he's never gonna get in trouble yeah , even if he does , it'll get part of it bro , he's gonna under each chicks snorting coke off his dick . I'm gonna give him crazy , got big daddy wrote off that shit off wrote off his taxes how does one write that right ?

I want the number for his account it's , I think he puts underage Asian because he got cock , cock .

I think that's how you got to put in those boxes and then you got up .

Well , out of all the accusations , I don't see anything about tax fraud or tax evasion in there not yet yeah , we'll see .

Didn't eat like and something else . He tried to sue somebody , meaning if he does sue the person , the thing that the guy is talking about is true and it was like some crazy shit . So he's he didn't sue the guy because of it .

I don't really know what you're talking about .

It's some dude put a story out about him .

That's true oh , he's chewing him for libel , or ? Yeah , I like a slander okay who , some dude .

Hunter Biden was gonna suit some some dude . Okay , and opted not to , because what would have come out , which is pretty much everything that's come out now would have shown that it was true , because he's suing the guy . Hmm so , but actually no , I mean him not suing the guy is showing that it's true . If you think about it .

What . There should be some consequences to these things .

Yeah , think so . Like I just sit there like first of all , I would just be like , okay , first couple of things come out , then you got all this other shit , then you got all this other crazy shit , and it's all getting confirmed .

Well see , the problem is that this is all he's gonna fucking plead down .

He's gonna be at house arrest and he's gonna bang out more underage Asians .

He's getting crushed and again pardon , they're finding things that tie his father into this other shit and I think everyone's freaking outgoing . Well , if we gotta throw this motherfucker out of office , this crazy cacklin hyena behind him is the one who's going into fucking big shit .

That's the problem .

That's a problem .

But I was like what seaspan was on earlier ? We were watching that and the whistleblower for the whole Biden thing saying how many roadblocks are running into . Oh yeah , just to not get all this information out .

No , it's been like that for fuck .

It's a little crazy . Let it out , let's go . I mean , nothing's gonna surprise us now .

Yeah , it's almost at the point where they can't contain the dam breaking .

Oh , the divulgence .

Like there's like little cracks .

There's a little divulging .

Did they're filling ?

it . It's almost like it's predivulging the glazing . Yeah , the predivulging .

Instead of years ago you had the Great Awakening , Now you've got the Great Glazing .

That's how I feel right now , like Yellowstone .

Yeah , it's what are you looking for .

Just rub two sticks together .

Oh , was that you that , was you that ?

was my belly .

Jesus .

Christ .

Sorry .

Feed me liquor .

Feed me liquor .

Carbs .

For the last four days it's been asking for alcohol .

I hate you being healthy . Stop being healthy Like I don't know , dude . I feel like you know what . And if I went out there and started having chicks ? Like snorting coke off my dick , holding the gun nonetheless , like he did ? Like , when does this guy get ?

impeached .

Do you know ? I think the bigger question is could Pat actually put cocaine on his dick and have someone snort it off it ?

I don't know , I think I can .

I don't know . So you have to get a face in that big fucking afro . When you got rolling down there .

No , no , dude , I trim , I trim down there Down , by the root , I mean I don't know it's , it's the root , it's close enough . It's close enough , and it's a beautiful , it's a beautiful , it's beautiful .

Wow , you guys want me to leave .

Shut up , captain . I'm just saying I don't know if there's enough surface area .

I don't know it's like Bigfoot's dick .

That's what you certainly smell like in the dugout Saturday .

Totally , totally . It smells like a bag of dicks , old , divulged . Oh , in the summer sun .

God , I can . Even . He smelled so bad , the ball wouldn't even go to his glove .

No , it stayed right away , that's how bad it was . I'm not even lying , you know . I believe that now , totally believe that now Definitely wasn't on my ability . So can we do that cleansing anytime soon , like tonight .

Yeah , like I can rummage around the spice cabinet , see what I got .

What I'm making lasagna .

You need sage man .

You got some extra sage in the spice cabinet .

Yeah , let me just sprinkle this on you real quick .

No , no , we gotta burn it . We gotta like get the smoke on you and shit .

So he just said he wanted to fucking dry rub you and fucking light you on fire . No , no , you know what , I'm down for it . I'm down . Wait , we're going .

I'm totally down for it . You know what If ?

it's been a while . This is what we're gonna do . We're gonna light a bundle of sage on fire .

Yeah , but we don't even know if we have sage , I got sage .

They're gonna stuff him in the smoker . Oh , and then we'll put the bundle in the fire box of the smoker so it goes all around him and we'll let him out in like a minute or two .

I do not agree to that .

Why I think that's the perfect way I'm gonna burn .

I think that's a great idea .

That's the only way to get it all over you . Yes , you know , like otherwise , like you're gonna miss a spot .

Not happening ? I don't know , I don't care at Kevin House . Don't . I am right now , it does not matter , no , no , I'm just saying , think about it . No , because I see his devilish eyes looking over his fucking mic right now . I was like , yeah , just do it , just do it . Oh , this is gonna be great . Please just do it so you can fucking burn , just live .

No , it'll be like an incident . You know It'll be like a fire . Yeah , an incident .

It sounds more like an incident , not an incident . No , it sounds like there's a lot how I just came up with that . I had no idea that was nice Well done .

We're not gonna lock it in .

It sounded like you just wanted to . Oh , I mean we gotta close the door .

See no , that's that .

No , no , no .

We don't have to lock it . First of all , I'm not fitting this smoker .

Oh , you'll be faking it . No , no , no , it ain't happening , bro , we'll practice .

What Fuck out of here Ain't happening . I'm definitely not gonna do this . Pat , can you just rub this butter all over ? Your body before you get in there , kev , can you glaze me real quick so I can squeeze on in Jesus .

I just happen to have this bowl of Crisco and butter just smeared all over yourself . Squeeze yourself .

Squeeze like the dead smoker . It's like the deaf guy from Family Guy .

Swallow this head of garlic . Swallow this head of garlic .

I can't mean , I'm fucking burning it out . You need one to rock .

Perhaps it has nothing to do with the flowers , right ?

I think , yeah , it's totally me , it's totally me .

Yeah , we try man .

You definitely have sage .

Yeah .

I don't feel confident in that .

I think you gotta like inhale it .

If there is anybody who just happened to have some sage laying around .

it's this guy Like the burning smoke . You know you like . You're used to that .

Now I gotta inhale it , you're used to that At first he's like you gotta wear it , Now I gotta inhale it .

Well , you wear it , you inhale . It's the same thing , I think , if you're not going in the smoker to get it all around .

I think you gotta like inhale it . You know , I would think .

So , Pat , I got this big rubber grill right I got one of these Duraflame logs .

You know what I'm talking about .

Yeah , when you get this sage going really good underneath . I just need you to lay it back real . I need you to do me a favor . Lay on that grill for about 15 .

And then turn it over , and then turn it over .

Turn to the side On the back yeah , to the side again .

we gotta get all edges . Yeah , sear , all the edges . No , fucking way , jose , not happening , you wouldn't fit in . No , no , fuck you , kevin , fucking dick .

I would want Facebook live on that shit too .

Can you believe we're at episode 70 ?

Fucking ridiculous . Yeah , think about it . Think about where this all started , how this all started . Yeah , think about it .

Should we start playing in 100 ?

Should we start playing in 100 ? You know , like , where is that put ? Whoa , like 2026 ?

2027 , the best Right after the TID , yeah , right after the cockpocalypse . That's when it comes out Episode 100 , the cockpocalypse .

After the cockpocalypse , the only thing around .

And that's how it's gonna be named . When 100 comes , it's gonna be the cockpocalypse . Nice , we're planning Look at us , look at us Dildo's falling from the sky .

I'm gonna write that on the grease board today . 100th episode .

Yeah , I'm gonna leave this on the grease board until the episode it should be everything written on there . All right , what time is it ?

I don't know , 9 , 8 .

It's only 8 o'clock .

What are we doing ? It's 15 minutes , hour and four . Stop , yeah , oh , wow . Yeah , you know , but you're right , though . Who would have thought that we would have went from soundproofing Pat's bedroom ? Oh To the den . To having a To the storm cellar . The bunker , yeah , the bunker recording studio .

She's doing OK right .

Yeah , very good , seems to be holding up . I wish I was famous . You know what I wish ? I wish there was a couple of sign redskins just hanging on the walls down here .

Yeah , it's on the back burner . You think , yeah , but it's in the works . Ok , a lot of paperwork .

Oh , the assassin's sign off on the permit .

It's just like a hall pass . Oh , you know .

I get meeting permits .

Can I trade this in for a hall pass ? No , all right , I got to wait . Ok , so I can still do the hall pass . You know what I'm talking about .

Kevin . Oh , he doesn't know . He knows what you're talking about . They've had that conversation . Yeah , hall passes .

Those hall passes .

Yeah , those hall passes , I feel like Pat's , dangling the pole and waiting . I'm just waiting for the lure you in , right there , I mean it's two weeks bro . Kevin just swam right by . He's like no not going to bite . Not going to bite me , no , nope .

I think Kate Beckinsale was swimming on by . That's my hall pass .

What .

Kate Beckinsale , that's my , oh so that hall pass is never going to happen . Well , never know , though , if you're a Matt Reif .

Yeah right , Lucky him Right .

That young fucking comedian , yeah Banger .

Really Is that how he got famous .

No no .

No , but he got her yeah .

Katie was mine too , that beautiful little Vixen .

Oh yeah .

Yeah , who's yours Dejeure ? Who's your soup dejeure ?

I don't know , man , I don't think like that Just not happening . Bread pit Wow .

He said he didn't think like that , so I went somewhere else .

Don't ever have a conversation . You really are a cunt .

I'm going to have to go with Kevin on this one that was very misleading . You don't have your famous actress or whoever .

I'm more of a not-asked Dude guy , not-asked permission and begging for forgiveness type of thing . So the situation arose . Wait , say that again .

Not-asked permission and begging for forgiveness . So you're raping people . What are you doing ?

Yeah right , like dude , this is getting bad . You may have to counsel a lawyer .

Jesus , ok , you're getting so fucking red , you're going to fucking turn around and die . I feel like a shit-got-dark fact .

Yeah , I don't ask permission , but I do ask for forgiveness .

I don't want to hear any lip either .

No more Italian provisions for you .

I just want you to get your good side of that pimpin . I'm going to be kissing my ring . Do you have any rings on ?

No , I don't have any rings on tonight .

Do you usually wear one ?

Not occasionally .

Pinky , I do have a pinkie .

No way .

That's a diehard Italian , right there .

Is it a crucifix ?

No .

No .

The diamond . You got one of them .

White gold onyx with diamonds around it . You got one of them .

Crucifix rings no .

What the fuck are you talking about ?

You know what I'm talking about ?

Yeah , I know what you're talking about .

I don't have one of those Pfft .

Sorry . I don't know what was just in my mouth . What are you getting Pubes off the microphone ? No , I think it was like spiderweb , Because it disappeared quick Spiderweb . Eh . So I told you just eat that Glaced , it lit A spider just glazed you . He's sitting there like at the top . And you can't see him and it's just fucking web coming down .

You're like freaking out .

You know what I'm talking about ? No , did I just go over a fucking line with that ? No , I was just talking about a spider glazing me .

Red Sox From the rafters Red . Sox two mats and nothing , nobody cares .

Ben Delete me and delete your viewership . You're fucking right , ben Fuck , son of a bitch .

I care .

Stop eating and start talking . Let's just go over his comments , the Muffalato .

Unbelievable . It's actually a good sandwich .

Sounds like a McDonald's sandwich .

I know , but his description is very , very inappropriate .

Like . If you like olives , it's a good sandwich .

I love olives , Demently of olives . We covered that Dude . When you get those nice little , those great green olives and you fill them with , like blue cheese Mm .

Or a little sharp provolone with little prosciutto .

Mm , let's go how long on the lemons .

Pat , you got munchies Not really . Give Pat one of the lemons , have me one of the lemons . Fuck out of here .

We're not doing this . No , first of all , I'm not going in the smoker , I'm not eating those lemons . I've been down here for God knows how long , we don't know , because you already said it was an experiment and I listened to you , but they're still good . No , they're not , dude , they're totally fine . Yeah , totally great .

Dude , I'll put it in my drain . Let me get the Pepsi .

No , you're going to squeeze a lemon right into your mouth . I dare you Half of it . Do we add a knife down here ? Let me get the clean one over here . What is he doing ?

We don't have a knife right why ?

That's gonna take you like six years to cut it .

It's gonna take me like ten more seconds .

I don't know Anything , Maddie . I'm not sure why we're doing this , but yeah , like it just got . Like , where'd you go ? Where are you going with this ?

I'm just saying that it's still good .

What is in there ?

I think it's a pit . No , that's the stick .

That's like what the hell is that it's hollow like the moon . My God , you guys hear this . It's ringing like a bell .

What . I'm just saying they're still good .

All right , I don't know how bad , I want to take one of those and just squeeze it in Pat's eyes .

Why mine , why not I sided with you when All the time Liar , all the time I'm with you . Listen , especially against this fucking , this cunt .

Is this all because of the saline night ?

No , it's totally homemade , don't worry about it , it's not gonna burn your fucking retina . I still can't see from that night . I'm blinded in my right eye , totally different color hue , yeah , compared to yeah .

You know that was some of Kevin's glaze in that bottle .

No wonder why it burned Explains everything , and it's like saline doesn't burn that much but cum does .

Now I understand why you ? Make that face on browsers Shit really fucking stings .

That's how I'm ending the show , talking about getting a company eye .

Well , you're gonna go find that sage we gotta we gotta get me out of this fucking we gotta like this guy or something .

Something , let's go . We're gonna do that right after the show .

Yeah , All right , we'll be back Facebook live . Yeah , we just got our fourth viewer too .

Hey , good for them . Fortunately , we're calling it quits . Yeah , ladies and gentlemen , thank you for joining us for episode 70 .

Stay tuned for the Facebook live when we burn Pat with sage .

Yeah , stay tuned for I'm gonna be . What is this Exercise ? I'm gonna be exercise cleansed . We're gonna be cleansed , so we're gonna try and take a curse off me . Not like an animal cleanse , but a curse that I've had for a couple months now yeah . So , and we're gonna take that right off , yeah , hopefully .

Well , we're gonna believe it's gonna work , so it's gonna work .

Yes , totally , let's do it , because I you know what do you say ? Okay , all right , you're going Facebook live with it . That's fucking , literally . I hate you . I fucking hate both of you . And no , I'm not going into smoker , it ain't happening . My fat ass is like giving the last piece of supersaw Because I'm gonna take that . We left it there for you .