Bug Out or Die Trying: A Not-So-Serious Guide to Apocalypse Prep

What we do in life echoes in eternity . See you next time , holy shit .

We're here in New Orleans , oh boy , oh boy , we have a lot of breaking news Shit . Don't you loop on me like that . Breaking news Balls deep news At the BDN network . This just in , we received a hot email it's on fire , really hot email From the gentleman who was in the Tesla truck .

Well , that was Vegas .

You know what I'm talking about .

The Tesla truck was in Vegas .

He just woke up . Give him a day . Let me wake up .

I've been asleep for 48 hours straight , ready for the news .

So he just woke up . Give him a day . Yeah , let me , let me wake up , okay .

I've been asleep for 48 hours straight , Ready for the news . Um yeah .

Yeah , you've missed a lot .

Here's the news we're all going to die . This is the news . Ladies and gentlemen , war war three is on the cusp . If you , have .

Yes , yeah , If you have a weapon lock and load baby .

World War III is on the cusp right now . I don't know if anybody out there is into Sean Ryan or whatnot . He had a gentleman on was it yesterday ? Yesterday , yesterday , two days ago , I think ? Sam Shoemate ? Yep , that's his name . Really have no idea where he is in the Yesterday .

Yep , that's his name .

Really have no idea where he is in government , but he received a direct email from the gentleman in the Tesla truck .

Allegedly , allegedly , allegedly . You know like there's a lot to be Proven about , but whatever there's , you know the time stamp on it , totally it appeared . It appeared to be credible Sequence of events Is you know he received this prior to the bombing . Obviously you know .

So what we're gonna do To start off the show Is get your panties and get your boxers In an uproar and get you scared . Yeah , bottom line yeah , go out , get some bread and milk , yeah toilet paper totally lube fucking empty the shelves , people , you're gonna have to get lube before shells because just in case daddy shows up .

And the guy does say himself he's yet to like . The screen nice and easy . And the guy does like , say himself like he's he's yet to like . Give us a name , give credibility to any of this , you know , um yeah .

So take a listen and let's uh , let's bring this up for a fucking discussion . How about that ?

So this email came in on .

This email came in 10 42 on december 31st at 10 42 am that is tuesday .

Who is it he said ? In case I do not make it to my decision point or onto the mexico border , I am sending this now . Please do not release this until 1 january and keep my identity private until then . First off , I'm not under duress or hostile influence or control . My first car was a 2006 black ford mustang v6 .

For verification I'm gonna pause that right there for a second because I mean anybody can have a , a v6 , yeah , yeah , yeah , you know you can't really verify it like that . No , of course not . Be like , hey , I got a mole on my butthole and it's gray .

This guy has said this prior to this point in the interview .

Not for nothing , just for context .

He has addressed the fact that he can't this is credible .

This is not 100% verified yet , right .

But let's get into meat and potatoes Now . This is where it gets crazy Interesting .

You may be like . What we have been seeing with drones . He puts that in quotes . He says drones is the operational use of Gravitic propulsion systems Powered aircraft by , most recently , china and the east coast , but throughout history , the US . Only we in China have this capability .

that's a lot to fucking digest , right ?

so Feel free to rewind that and listen again .

I don't think you have to , because we can just say what Okay , so the drones you've been seeing on the East Coast is China .

Well , that's what this guy says . That's what this guy says .

Allegedly .

Allegedly .

And we're also involved in the drones , but China is far ahead of us based upon their technology and whatnot .

Well , I don't know if he said that or not . He said us and them are the only two that we have .

Yeah , it seems like we're spearheading this whole fucking thing .

Well , I think we've been spearheading it since Roswell , but hey .

And the whole here we go . Yes , here we go . The whole comment with checkmate Alright . So now you can have these SUV Size drones over the White House , verbatim with his words , with any fucking payload , any ordinance , and that's checkmate .

No , I mean Any ordinance , you know , like EMP , that's all you need . No , emp , just that's all you need . Sure .

No , emp just knocks out the electronics . It's the fucking ordinance that's in there .

No , understood , but EMP knocks out your electronics . Independence Day baby .

This fucking country's in the dark ages if we lose our electronics . No shit , Sherlock . That's the first strike . That's what's happening first .

So they're going to take out all the electronics . Mayhem's going to ensue after 30 days , like they say .

It's not going to even take 30 days . This fucking utmost panic is going to happen immediately .

It'll take a month . There'll be an initial wave of panic .

These asshole fucking liberals are going to lose their shit in 15 minutes . Be running around .

I'm not worried about the liberals , I'm worried about myself . Fuck the liberals , dude . I'm kicking them in the butt .

I'm just saying that's the nonsense that's going to happen first .

Pushing them to the front of the line .

You guys get up there , run out there Go .

We got your back .

I'll see you later . Fuck that .

But my worry is the brink of World War 3 and how easy it is for another country to get technologies pushing a button into the United States , no problem . 50 fucking miles off the coast of the East Coast and you get hundreds and hundreds of drones From China .

China , yeah , I mean . I mean you got to get a hold of Jizz Paws and tell him he's got to fucking knock this shit out .

I'll get my jizz on it . I'm going to make that button crusty . You can't press it , that's it take out the cameras . Jizzpaw takes out the buttons with his jizz . That's crazy . Think about it . Fart . It's just man , the brink like . I think we're at the brink right now we're on the edge .

Well , I mean like , uh , I just , I just sent you a thing I don't know if your phone's hooked up to the board and shit but um , it's trump's response to this . Well , no , not to this , but like about the drones yeah , okay , he knew .

He says I don't know if you've seen any of this . He says the government . He says the government knows .

Yeah , dude , a lot's happened in the past , like three , four days , man .

No , this is when the first time when the drones came out Like where have you guys been ?

man , that's how old I've been drinking a lot , dude . I even lost a day of life and I'm ahead of you guys .

Yeah , but this one's old . This is like the day after the drones . Well , yeah , yeah , but it's still , you know Can you comment on the drones that that are flying around New Jersey ports . It seems like the American people have a big disc .

The government knows what is happening . Look , our military knows where they took off from . If it's a garage , they can go right into that garage . They know where it came from and where it went and for some reason they don't want to comment and I think they'd be better off saying what it is .

a town Pennsylvania so what's what's big about Bedminster ?

is there a base ?

there .

I honestly don't know . The only Bedminster I could think of would be like fucking England . That's what I'm thinking of . Right , pennsylvania , is it Pennsylvania ?

yes , all right , so what's that have to do with ? I don't know . We're still playing , huh always it's always something going on , there we go keep pushing buttons .

It's cool , what the fuck oh it's on D , well it's a Jesus .

It wouldn't stay .

It was a good Bedminster theme song too .

Yeah , like if we're playing golf or something Right Over Scotland , like a flyover Um . So my thing is this how , how real is this ? How Are we really At the brink of ? If Trump becomes president , there's going to be like instant world war three .

Well , so , number one , he did . And should we're going to find out tomorrow , aren't we Um , tomorrow's the sixth , Tomorrow's the sixth .

So what ? What's what happens tomorrow ? Is it wasn't it the 20th ? Tomorrow's the 6th ? So what happens tomorrow ?

though Isn't it the 20th ?

Is it the 20th ? The 20th is the inauguration .

Yeah , that's what I thought . Well , what's January 6th then ?

That was the anniversary of the insurrection that he didn't do four years ago . What's tomorrow ? Let me check my calendar . Is it National Boxing Day ? It ?

might be .

Tomorrow has nothing scheduled .

What's up Sween ? So okay If I go to R-20 .

So time out , so time out . So what's the ?

Why did the 6th happen ? I don't know what are you talking about .

The 6th was the day of the transfer of power , right .

Is tomorrow .

Trump flew away .

I thought Right , I thought that was the 20th . You know why would they change ?

the date . So it's a transfer of power two weeks prior to the inauguration .

I'm just saying .

That is not in my iPhone calendar .

It just seems like I don't know , seems like something should be like .

If any of our listeners out there are smarter than us , please shoot a message over .

But you see , what I mean , though , right . If it's a four-year cycle of presidents , why would the date change ?

I understand what you're saying , but I don't understand why they would do the change of power prior to the inauguration .

I thought the 20th is always the inauguration . I thought the 20th is always the inauguration .

Inauguration .

Inauguration . I don't know what was the 6th then ? The 6th has nothing . That was the day that people stormed the Capitol , or we're letting the Capitol , or is it always two weeks prior to inauguration ?

I don't know , man , I don't have the answer to that . I don't know .

Alright , so I'm gonna check 2024 .

real quick Is anybody out there now ?

January 6th . There's nothing scheduled January 20th .

Pat , by the way , is checking his personal calendar .

No , it doesn't have inauguration . Oh no , because it was in 2020 .

Nothing scheduled tomorrow , but I got to go see the Thundersons about their garage floor on Tuesday at 8 . Yeah , 2020 .

Sorry , in 2020 . And now ?

Nothing . I think like the I don't know . I feel like the 6th may be some sort of like oh no , it's 2021 . Legal Four years , it's something date . And like the 20th is like , maybe like the day they walked down the fucking road , you know .

I don't know . I don't have an answer for you .

Or maybe like there was some significant thing with the election on January 6th , you know , I again I don't have an answer for you , maybe there was finally a ruling .

Maybe that I drink a lot of alcohol and I don't pay attention to the mainstream media . January 20 , 2021 , inauguration day January 6th nothing .

Oh , okay , so maybe it was some sort of legal court day or something like judgment record something I don't know .

I think he was just holding some sort of rally or something .

So I can feel good about going to work tomorrow , except for the drones .

Yeah , I mean now I'm just shoot the drones , is all I'm saying . Just shoot the drones .

It's . I was prepared to take the day off and just like plop my eyes in front of the TV and you know .

What would be the top three scenarios to happen with the drones ? What's number one ? What's number one on the list ?

Well , I think the first thing that's going to happen is I honestly believe they're going to attack our power grid , whether it's by EMP or otherwise .

Right , some sort of action . Yes , not just them being there , they're going to have to do some kind of action .

Yes , yeah , this is straight up Red Dawn remake .

Kind of yeah , sort of . But advanced now if you think Well , yeah , but they're going to send the drones because there's too , many .

That's what .

I'm saying Too many people with guns now that's what worries me the most .

They ain't parachuting in , they're just flying around .

Bro , you're going to have to live like a fucking Yeti , so they don't see your heat signature with the drones . Cover ourselves with mud like a predator .

It's fucking January . Man , It's's cold . I don't want to cover myself with mud fuck bro , like that's fucking crazy if you think about it . I get tunnel on the ground man there's gonna be a lot of people in the basement bunkers .

I'm gonna be like my arm hurts .

I can't dig you're gonna get left behind . Dig that hole .

Liberal just saying you better you look in hole , you're gonna have to carry all the bug out bags while everyone else is on point fucking liberal .

You dig that hole . You better heal up because , like the lame , are the first to get left behind I'm not gonna leave that motherfucking shit .

Right now I'll start shooting people . I'll show you how crazy I am . Like I'm ready all right .

So do you guys ? Do you guys have like a survival pack or a bug out bag ?

you got something ready to go what we , what we should do is actually I got two flashlights , bro , that's it .

Oh , I got a generator Any extra ? Well , yeah , you're not carrying a generator with you . Well , I ain't leaving , you might have to . Well , I mean , I mean , that's why they called it a bug out bag .

I guess you know I wish I had some firearms , though I'll share .

Okay , so what are you doing for the apocalypse ? What's that ? What's your name ? My ? Name is Jeff , oh , you're dead , you're dead .

Jeff is not going to make it .

Jeff ain't making it in fucking three days , dude . No , no way , no , I think . Okay , I would love to get A real fucking badass bug out bag , just in case .

So what's in your bug out bag ?

Everything , I actually have a legitimate bug out bag . I know I've seen it .

I'm going to need those Sour Patch Kids . We're going to need a bag of those .

I got MREs , I got a couple survival books that tell you how to build shelter and filter water and shit . Hatchets , some knives , hatchets , you know some Firestar a lot of Firestar .

You're going to have to go back to square one , bro .

Yeah , yeah .

I mean .

I think I don't think it's going to be like immediate , like you'll have like a die off of it , like you'll have like a die off of poppy , you're going to have those motherfuckers who like it's .

I'm sure we can figure out how to take care of ourselves in the . You know , just from watching movies , our whole lives . Give me some of those pine tree fucking arms over there or branches .

Bam , we'll figure this out , roof . What's the problem is going to be is going to be that our kids are going to be like hey to be that our kids are going to be like hey , dad , we got any of that bottled water laying around . I sure am thirsty , go shit .

Can you go shit on the roof real quick ? There's a leak . That's what you don't up there .

Well , son , water ration was a half hour ago when you were sleeping , so you'll have to wait till later . So I drank your half .

I mean what else ? I mean , fuck man , you're not going to be sleeping during that shit . No , never . Like , oh my God , it's going to be awful . I'll die from psychosis before I die from somebody else killing me From staying up .

Fuck that . So is it killed in your sleep by China , or is it like the fucking Venezuelan gangs , because they just kind of like disappeared ? From the news cycle right , Like they're just gone . They went back to Venezuela . I heard they're done taking over cities and hotels , apparently , or apartment complex .

Not for nothing . If World War III starts , I think their supply of meth addicts and drug addicts coming to purchase things are going to dry up a little bit .

No , they're not .

Drugs sell themselves . Yeah , man .

I'm going to keep those motherfuckers up 48 hours straight snorting that meth . I'm going to be literally a rain from the skies .

Well , by the third day . You're keeping watch . You're going to be looking for somebody to send over some of that Bolivian snowflake . Yeah , that's right .

The only one who survives is the meth addict . That's right . Ain't that a fucking hoot ?

I haven't eaten or slept in 15 days .

You kind of look like it . Your life has been sucked out of you . I mean I might as well get into meth if that happens . Shit .

I bet Kevin will be great for like seven , eight days and he's going to be outside hanging himself in a tree Wow , Ouch .

Okay , are we getting a call in ? No , it's my nephew . I'm gonna have my nephew on in the next couple weeks . Um , he's got like all these crazy connections with all these these weed companies . Oh nice we getting like a sampler oh , you're gonna see , dude , you're gonna see the shit he has . It's fucking stupid . Here we go , why not ?

You take advantage of this shit . I would love a Monte Cristo sample bag or gift bag .

Can we get his guy to make us a go bag of that stuff ?

That's all weed .

Way to make the left turn to Albuquerque , by the way .

No , I'm just saying .

You just stop talking and .

What is that ? Like a Fucking Conference or , like you know , like a trade show .

Like . What the fuck is that ? I like a show . So , speaking of show , are we gonna go to this podcast Conference in Florida ?

Yeah , I'm not . No , I'm not .

Okay , all right . Yeah that's a tough one . All right , that is a tough one there . Buddy , I'm going to send that copy . Let's go there . That's a rough one to deal with . It's a hobby , it's a hobby . Yeah , I mean it to deal with . It's a hobby . It's a hobby . I did work , I got accepted in there for free .

Great , terrific , even when I said we can't handle . And now you're just going to piss in their mouths .

Yeah , okay , it's good , it's a hobby , what the fuck .

Oh , there in another one dead air , sorry , alright we're good .

Alright , we back .

Yeah , we're back so I honestly think um war , war .

War 3 is gonna be inevitable what's it gonna look like , though you know , is it gonna be like that ?

I really don't like the fact that they're fucking zeroed in on the East Coast like that .

Right , like they had to say , east Coast .

Like fuck man , go get those fuckers in Montana again .

Like no , no , you can't take out Cali first To be honest with you they probably already have Cali .

We just don't know it yet , To be honest with you they probably already have Cali , we just don't know it yet .

There's like a handful of good people in Cali and I hope they get out soon . I don't know , I'm sure there's a few , not in Pelosi's district . I don't reckon there is Derek's out there . I'd hate to have him be nuked .

I don't know . Let's ask him who we voted for first , and then we'll decide yeah .

I mean , even so , I don't want to get nuked .

You know what ? You're a fucking nice guy From now on . You're a nice guy Kev .

Yeah , does he have your fantasy winnings ?

Oh shit , unmentionable , Unmentionable , unmentionable , unmentionable .

Unmentionable . Wow , that was a weird pull , I know .

Unmentionable . It popped in my head . I'm like wait a minute , I know something Unmentionable . So we're all going to die in World War III and Kevin needs to work on his bug out bag . How it's going to look , I don't know .

I really don't . Kevin's bug out bag is going to have six tampons , tortillas , something to make food with and one flashlight with no batteries .

But you know what I'll make that shit work , man .

At least for a night , you know .

I'm like Kevin , I got a bad cut . Can you do that tampon ? What's up , cole ? Yeah , that'll be our bandages and shit .

You know what I can see it now ? Thunderson's daughter is going to eat all the tortillas immediately and Kevin's going to lose his mind . What the fuck are you ?

doing . She's the first one sacrificed .

No , she's not .

Not even close to the first one .

It looks like he's sacrificing the silent assassin .

Although the funny part about it is she's probably in the best shape and can run the fastest , so she's going to make it . Everyone else is very Like Lil .

Oh , I'll totally turn an ankle running .

I was just going to say it all depends on how long Lobster's ankles last .

You know like I'm totally getting injured If there's like a fleeing moment .

Oh no , you're stepping on a dog toy .

Oh , that's his demise , his demise . He trips over a dead gunner , just to add insult to injury .

One of them like plastic bones that have like sharp edges .

No , you slip my foot's cut and my ankle's turned . Fuck , you slip over a dead gunner . That's what you do . Gunner's already dead because they're like kill the meth dog . Why are we killing off my batsman ? He's the first one that needs to be killed off .

He's probably good . She's going to eat the most Scout's probably going to be good eating .

She's big enough to eat if need be .

Yeah , poor girl , she's big enough to eat , if need be . Yeah yeah , poor girl , that retarded dog . She's the dumbest , dumbest of dogs .

Alright .

I see that we're all gonna die . That's the way I see it .

Alright , it's solid . We gonna end the show on that , or do you wanna keep going ? It's the only way .

I mean , what is your like , what is your ?

feelings , yeah , um well , I mean number one . Like we , we gotta address that like we don't know if this is , it's all you know .

Like conjecture understood , you know as of late , it's not fact by any means I know , know , but as of late , shouldn't we be saying shit like because all the conspiracy theories , most of them , have come true To the point ?

of where you're like , but is this really a conspiracy theory ? I really wouldn't put this in that category . Why not ?

Because too many people are like questioning shit . Is that why it's not a conspiracy theory ? I mean , it's not like drones , like too many people are like what the fuck ?

It's not really a theory . Drones are there right ?

Well , sure they're there , but the reason why is ?

fuckers . Fucker blew himself up in a fucking truck , right , right , like they got to do some fucking checking to see if this email fucking got there . It's not really a far-fetched trying to put the dots together , it's . We just need to verify this .

Yeah .

That's why I don't feel it's a conspiracy theory per se , Right .

I don't think we need to verify it .

Yeah . So let me pose a question to all of us here . Like if you were to come in , like if you were to come into a firearm , would you just start shooting at orientals ?

no , okay , no , I would be . I would be discriminant .

I just want , isn't that ? No , okay , no , I would be discriminant . I just want , isn't that ? I mean , I mean knowing his past , I mean I'm just saying that's a good one Matty .

Please say a couple of Hail Marys just pray for yourself .

Hail Mary , full of grace the Lord is not with thee . Here he goes again on Jesus play some , play some music .

I like , I for some , whatever reason , I do like some , some faithful , you know Just call it Christian rock . It is what it is .

It was good .

Are you a churchgoer ?

No , are you going to start going again ? Nope , are you sure ? Yeah , I mean the way you were singing the last verse of the song .

We were born to love . Yeah , no , I'm not going to church . Okay , where's the churches that sing , though ?

Where are those Down south .

Oh yeah , Maybe I should move .

No , I'm sure you can find a no . What is ? I think they all do it now , man .

No , it's the .

Dude , I remember going into town . I can't think of the 52 right , right after the Catholic Church in New Fairfield the last time I was there God knows how long ago , god does know they had like a band almost for Christ's sake , a Christian rock band like almost man .

There was a drummer , please don't take the Lord's name in vain . I'm not taking .

I'm not taking the lord's name in vain .

I'm not taking the lord's name in vain really should not take my name in vain if you're going to do that correctly .

I just wanted to be .

I didn't want to leave anybody out the last time I had to be in a church . Yeah , like kids come for me it's been a minute , since I've been to one , but you know they were fucking singing .

They had equipment .

I don't recall any singing at .

Matthew and Lee's . What's the first one ? Is it a confirmation ? Communion's first , well , baptism really . Oh well , matthew was baptized , leo was communion , yeah .

No , but like , not at the communions , but like to go to like get communion . Like you have to end up going to church and get your little fucking attendance card signed by the fucking . That's not true , I didn't go once , I'm just saying what I had to do .

I still get the monthly donation envelopes . I throw them right in the garbage , oh yeah dude Fucking , start my solo stove with those things .

They can fuck off .

I mean , we didn't even bother to send Matthew to fucking Class to get Go to a communion . He just walks in the door and the fucking holy water starts to bubble . I mean , look who his father is . That's what I'm saying .

He'd chip off the old block , like when you go into church , do you just feel out of place ?

I do actually I really do . Don't even get me started on the church , man . It's gonna take a bad turn .

I'm going to . I'm going to tell you the truth . I actually I went to . I went to a Sunday service one time when I was in Atlanta , in Georgia , and I I actually enjoyed , I actually enjoyed the service and I did a couple of uh , I did a couple of virtual things .

Can I talk to all the altar boys please ? Wasn't really going that route . I did , kevin . Were you an altar boy ?

I was not .

Were you scorned by a priest ?

No , I did All right . Kevin , were you an altar boy ? I was not . Were you scorned by a priest ? No , some people were just busy doing stuff in the woods . Burning shit down . Unmentionable , unmentionable .

Allegedly Unmentionable , allegedly Totally .

It's like the drones .

I feel like Carlito Berganti Never convicted .

So what's ?

the reason why you don't like the church Really ?

Okay , I mean that's a fair question nowadays no .

No , yeah , that's fine . The church as an institution , I think , is total bullshit . I think the Pope is total bullshit .

I feel like .

I feel like it's become a money grab and , honestly , if you're a Jesus guy , okay , if you , if you go back to like scripture and stories of Jesus , like that was the one thing he kind of told you like you didn't have to go to church to worship me , right , you know .

Just another institution to rise others above others .

And anything that's an institution , there's just latent corruption . It's inherent in its place and that to me , I don't know . It's fucked up .

I actually don't even know if I'm allowed to walk into St James anymore .

Like I'll go to church , but I kind kind of you know , like I know what to say , and I had a couple you know that kind of shit . I had a couple of words .

I had a couple of words with , uh , some of the higher-ups there and they didn't appreciate what I had to say see , I don't know if I really believe , believe in god , like I think god's more of a ?

um , an ideal . You understand what I mean , because it's always like , well , how come he wasn't here for this , how come he wasn't here for that , why did he do this , why did he do that ? It's more of a mental thing of what is it you're going to do in time of need . Are you going to be able to get yourself over that ? How would God do this ?

I understand what you're saying .

I don't agree with you , but I understand what you're saying . Yeah , I think of it more as an ideal Ideology . Okay , all right , so until I see , you know , maybe if I walk on water , then we know .

Why don't you go rub those flowers ? Let's see what we could do .

I will never , yeah , I will never , ever touch flowers again in my life . I don't care how beautiful they are , they'll be like oh baby , you want those .

I can't put my hands on those Nope .

I haven't ordered the sage we need .

We gotta wait till it's springtime so we can go outside and not freeze our ass and start a fucking huge fire of sage .

By the way , I have a crew of my nieces and nephews who want to go ghost hunting at Smalley's . Brady wants to do it , ava wants to do it , ryder Jack wants to do it . This would be fucking great , awesome .

Let me know how it turns out , why wouldn't ? You do that Because it's a bunch of kids , yeah . No , they really want to do it , though , sure , I'm sure they do .

Let them go . You can go with them , you can have fun with them .

See , this is the problem . This is the problem Not going with the ideas , sitting in the same spot , doing nothing .

I don't want to do it with a bunch of kids .

Did you see the video I sent you the other day ? No , someone beat you to your fucking Footloose fucking . Oh , no way really . Oh yeah , I sent it . No one bothered to watch it . Fuck you guys .

Was it one of like the times you send Like 30 in a row ?

I send good stuff .

You do . I'm not saying you don't , but sometimes when did you send it ? And it's hard to watch and I just like skip them . And then the whole text thread Is gone at that point , man . Yeah , fuck you guys . You send a ton Just saying dude , you got to give it a minute man .

I love sending my Pepe shit though Pepe's the shit , right , I skip right past that shit .

What Pepe ? Every time I see Pepe's I'm like I guess I don't need to hear it Like he everybody's so fucking bouged .

This is gay . I don't know what you did with it . Was it on TikTok Matt ?

but my shit's important when I send shit no , most of the time it's not .

I don't fucking remember when I sent this Chappelle . Was funny too .

I don't see it anywhere . Did aliens nuke Mars ? I mean , come on , the shit that we'd send each other on a daily basis gets out of control . Then I send you a fucking meme with who's that the blackest white guy ? No , it's Al Roker . The daily basis gets out of control . Then I send you a fucking meme with who's that ?

The blackest white guy ?

No , it's Al Roker , and the meme says I poop my pants .

Children .

No , because you sent us the earthquake thing and it says expect something big in the next .

Yeah , a couple , you know , another like few days there should be something did you see the one about uh there was one in el salvador with that was almost like a seven you see the one about uh taking uh ten at bats or six at bats against a major league pitcher any pitcher like it's not like skeins , like because no picture skeins there .

Then , um , then it was just my balls . I think I get like 300 bucks . I think I get like three foul tips . Okay , pretty good , hitter man .

Oh my God , here we go , here we go . Every time I will not hit a fucking major league .

Dude , I said three foul tips out of ten pitches no .

Here , take the phone .

Aaron Rodgers .

Fuck Well .

I mean honestly that has like a such higher level of production value that we could ever do .

Of course it is , but at the point was we waited ?

I still got to do this . Yeah , you still got it . I still got to do this and we probably just got in trouble on fucking YouTube .

Why . That was in the background , exactly , but it wasn't like I don't know .

It could have been a car driving by Dude . We're in a mobile home . I can't be responsible when someone's playing in their car , when they're driving by the house , right .

No joke , dude . Come springtime we still need to do it Like , zoom out Like how are we going to do it Like zoom out , like ?

how are we going to do it with the music , though ? We're going to have to get some kind of like waiver or something , right ?

No , you're making a fucking spoof video . It's not the real and all you got to say is you don't have the rights to the music .

Right .

I mean really , I mean on Facebook . We need to split the royalties again . Yeah , because that's genius .

I'll keep doing that . What was that ? By the ?

way , I don't even know .

So stupid . I will continue to split pennies with anyone who wants them .

Yeah , last one was a barn burner $1.14 . So the royalties are coming in and they're coming in heavy , just like Bitcoin $0.57 a piece . Oh , oh , how's your little investment thing going uh from 60 to 95 in two weeks so it's , but so what'd you ? Make . I've made 35 dollars okay , now I'm doing .

It's destroying it , it's , but it's below a dollar a share oh , because it started it's .

It's going up like a thousand percent in the past few months so if it started zero , zero , zero , zero . Yeah , that's what it fluctuates based upon , but now it's going up like 25 percent .

A thousand percent or 25 percent , I don't fucking remember .

Well , you just said a thousand a second ago , well , a thousand prior to me . Getting it OK , ok , sweet .

And that's why I'm so from zero to a penny would be a thousand percent .

I don't know what a fucking motherfucker I I don't know what a fucking motherfucker I . Just look at numbers and I'm like okay , I think I understand this .

I think you have to have a Penny . Start to Apply a thousand percent to A thousand percent of zero , zero . That's true .

Zero , zero , zero , zero one .

I use Robin Hood and I use Steals from the rich and gives to the richer .

It's I may get in trouble . I may , let's see .

Yeah , but it tells you like . So if you stop smoking cigarettes and you invested that cigarette money into this ?

Well , I'm doing $25 a week into Dogecoin . Oh , okay , dogecoin . Yeah , because Elon said to Until the .

EMP comes , he's got nothing .

Just wipe my money out . Thanks China , and that's going to be the day I hit it big . Right , and the fucking EMP . What is $96 in yen you owe me ?

Dogecoin goes to like $1,200 overnight . Imagine that , and then boom EMP .

And it shows you like so what I've , what I invested . I said I was like what would happen if Doge went from this to this in the year , cause I would be depositing $1,325 into it . And if I did that $1,325 and it did go up like a ridiculous amount to where it was like . I would make like $.7 million dollars With 1300 .

I'd sell .

I'd sell half .

That's what I would do If it's going like that . If there's a trajectory for it , I would still have .

If it actually went to that , Patrick , I would slit my own ball sack and put my left testicle on the table for you .

Why .

If it actually fucking did something like that .

But that's why I'm still putting in the Bitcoin too , because right now Bitcoin's at like 95,000 . It's projecting to hit 350k this year .

Did you also invest in the Hoctua ?

No , no , I heard she got the meme coin . I heard about that , the what it's a meme coin they call it .

Whatever it was .

I bought into a meme coin Pepe .

It went up , she tanked it . Fucking people lost thousands and thousands . Yeah , but it wasn't her fault .

It was the partner . She got in on it with the two guys who were like investors .

Yeah , like she didn't mastermind anything man . The two guys that were spit roasting her Pretty much yeah .

She was just a fucking spokesman . Yeah , dude .

There's all this shit that's crazy , that's out there . But now I'm on this thing called Weeks , where I can actually buy in short , buy in , sell long , whatever . Oh really .

You're fucking short in stocks now .

No , I'm not short in stocks , cameron . My nephew is taking care of that end of it , as I can invest some money for me . Yeah , how old is he ? Cameron's 32 . Okay , and he's done really well , so I'm like I need some cash soon , so can you invest . Gordon Feliciano Listen , see what happens . You got to take your chances .

Nice guy Orbs Something different . Nice guy Orbs and fucking Patrick Gecko over here .

Nah , I was talking to a couple of buddies of mine who bought into crypto years ago , like in 2017 , they sold , like my buddy , danny invested .

Did he actually get out of it ?

and made money on it Fucking $400,000 .

So he's one of the few guys that were smart enough to fucking dump it .

He said he wanted to hold onto it for a little longer . The point where he decided to hold onto it a little longer , he could have sold it for like $750,000 . It was at one point where he could have sold it for like 1.7 . Yeah , and he just got down waiting it out and he waited too long and he sold it and he only bought it for like 2,500 bucks .

Yeah , it's just weird too . Man , I don't , Like , I can't the cryptocurrency .

I don't trust it Because you have certain cryptos that are responsible for other cryptos right Physical your chain link .

You know , like that whole part of like there's nothing physical , yeah .

It just like boggles my mind . Any stock traders listening to us , any fucking money guys want to call in , and you know , give you two cents , no pun intended .

But everything I've been . I've been reading a lot and I usually never read about this shit and I'm like I've gotten like invested some time in it to where bitcoin's the now that trump is coming into office , the well the market's supposed to fucking . They're going to because he's backing it all up .

So they said the day of inauguration , I would say , like the world markets and like wars January 20th , they said it's going to be .

imagine that .

January 20th .

Like everything just stopped . I'd like to be involved in everything having to do with the American defense systems .

But if I can get something and invest a little

Well , that sounds awesome . Can everyone do that yeah ?

everybody can . If you go to Robinhood , download that app and put promo code the Take a Deep Show . Oh , that's good , Just to let you know . Share half your investment with us . Yeah , you get a $5 investment to any market you want . Robinhood actually does that , though . They give you $5 and you can buy whatever stock you want to buy .

So you pick out whatever penny stock you want and go to town .

No , I just bought $5 into Microsoft .

So what'd you get like ? 1,000th of a share . It's fucking tiny . It Would you get like 1,000th of a share .

It's fucking tiny . It's like $426 a share . That's what I'm saying . So I'm going to sell that off once I get a little profit on that and then put it into something a little bit more sensible . How old are you now ? 46 .

All right , by the time you hit 80 , you should be ready to do that , no , it's listen , listen .

For whatever reason , this crypto shit is legit . Well , not legit legit . I'm not talking about the crypto . You legitimately make money on it . I don't know how you do . I don't know how to read the markets . I'm just following trends and I'm doing pretty well right now .

Listen , guys who do it . They know what they're doing . They make money off it . I can't wrap my hands around it . It doesn't make sense . Did that motherfucker leave to go take a break ? He fucking went to piss . Are you kidding me ? He's fucking baby bladder . What A puss this guy . We got to get him some fucking diapers . No , did you go to ?

the bathroom . What ? You went to the bathroom ? No , you fucking liar . Where did you go ? I ran upstairs . For what ?

I heard something Dude . I got a dog with like Two missing toenails bleeding all over the house Right now . I heard something . I had to go check it out .

Oh , is it official those two toenails are gone .

Oh , there's one gone , one cracked , and it's just .

I feel the pain , man I feel the pain .

You have to wrap that up . What were we just talking about ?

Uh , crypto , yeah , I just .

You have chances to that up . What were we just talking about Crypto ? Yeah , you have chances to make money on it . I'm just following the trends and reading into it .

Yeah , hey , man , listen , do your thing . Do you choose crypto ? I do scratch-offs .

I'm just saying it's just like the whole concept of it . It's crazy .

It's just weird , yeah , I know , you know , I know , you know , I know . That's what I said too . Anybody else out there , use Scratches as your retirement plan . What's even more weird and ironic too , is there's certain , there's certain crypto that support other crypto and then like when you ? It's weird .

Yeah , like I can't . It ties into something Like my brain's the matrix .

It's called the pyramid scheme .

No , no , no , no no . Those dudes are making fucking dough with that shit .

Yeah , man .

And the motherfucker from Black Rock . What's his name ? Larry Flint , is that his name ?

No , Larry Flint was a guy from Hustler Magazine . No , I think it's .

But I think it's , and I think this guy's name's Larry Flint .

That's funny .

Right , well , he's just fucking you in a different way than Larry Flint , the other Larry Flint .

Because he sold off a ridiculous amount of Bitcoin and it fucked up the market .

Oh , so what you're telling me is BlackRock has a lot of money invested in crypto .

Yeah , so he sold off this ridiculous amount . It fucked up the market .

That should already tell you that nobody else can play in that fucking sandbox .

Didn't Odell Beckham get like a contract and like Bitcoin or something ?

Yes , and he made like $700 or some shit like that .

But like if he still held on to it , like it would be worth a lot now .

Oh yeah , right , yeah , totally fucked him . Dude Bitcoin's at like $98,000 right now , which is nuts . That's . What would you go like that for ? Listen , just think about that . 98,000 hits 350,000 . What do you get back in return ?

Right , that wasn't Odell's rookie contract , was it ?

No , no , no , it was the one he did with the Rams when they won the Super Bowl .

Oh , that was that one . Who's going to be the Giants rookie this next coming year , buddy ? I think the one he did with the Rams when they won the Super Bowl oh , that was that one . Okay , I don't know who's going to be the Giants rookie this next coming year , buddy .

Pick number three , they're locked in . Who are you getting Locked in ?

number three . So the way it lines up , it looks like it's going to be Season's over now .

Shador Sanders is not going to sign with New York . Don't draft him , jackson situation .

Dude , I thought he had cleats on in one game , right One pregame . He had , like New York Giant , cleats on . Did he , I think he did yeah .

That's cool . Fuck that guy and Deion Sanders .

I mean , why do you have to go ? Can we just talk about it positively please ?

a little bit . I was just giving my opinion .

Your team is not much better .

My team's awful .

Who do you want Top three pick ? I don't know . You know , like , who do you want ? I ? Just want to be successful . Shut up . Make a choice , man . Who do you want Giant ?

fan , you got to take Cam Ward or Sanders Giant fan , or draft Third pick .

Who do you want ?

If you can get Sanders , get Sanders . If you can get Cam Ward , get Cam Ward . So , if you get Cam Ward , get .

Cam Ward . So you got the Browns at two . So you're cool with one the Browns at one right no .

Titans , browns .

Browns and the Giants Browns just restructured Watson's contract . So if they restructured , that the Browns aren't taking a quarterback . The Browns restructured his contract to trade him . Yeah , good luck with that .

Yeah , the only team that'll take them is the raiders well , you know , it's almost destined huh a lot of massage parlors in vegas , where are they picking ?

they're probably gonna fall into like the six to eight range . Oh yeah , what was it ?

did they win today ?

no , no man , they stink , see my redskin cowboys today , Herbert spit on his hand and said I'm going to give it to you guys hard . Here we go 12-5 .

Who are you playing in the first round of playoffs ? I don't know yet .

I haven't looked at that . Whichever team it is , I hope a defender puts his face mask in Jaden Daniels' sternum and breaks him in half .

What did he do to you ? What the fuck is that is very violent sorry , it seems like yeah , personal yeah that was personal , little bit little bit my

name is jeff like holy shit , there's really no need for that . Take it as you will .

It's been like 34 years since Jesus Like fuck .

Where does that anger come from , holy shit ? I wouldn't wish that upon him . I mean Christ . I hope he does well . To be honest with you , I do . I like him , I like Jaden Jones , I'm gonna root for him .

Hey , listen , you're entitled tos Heisman .

Trophy winner , I'm going to root for him . Hey , listen , you're entitled to your opinion .

If Brock Bowers was in the playoffs , I'd root for Brock Bowers , but he's not in the playoffs because he plays for the Raiders , so he'll never be in the playoffs .

Redskins have two Heisman Trophy winning quarterbacks on their team Marcus , mariota and J . That doesn't really vouch for it . It's not really impressive .

It kind of is no , no no , why would that be impressive ?

No , it is .

I mean they're Marcus Mariota , final Jane Daniels balls all year .

Yeah , he was great in college . Don't get me wrong , mariota was phenomenal .

I'm just saying on the roster they have two Heisman Trophy winning quarterback on their roster Tim Couch , eric .

Tim Couch , no , tim Couch , not Eric Crouch .

Well , isn't that the fucking guy from ?

Nebraska , kentucky , whatever Tim Couch .

No , eric Crouch from Nebraska . Yes , eric Crouch , you shut your fucking mouth . You don't even know what you're talking about .

He was the QB from Nebraska . Talk nonsense , what he was good . Talk at me like I don't know what the fuck .

I'm talking about . Okay , I told you Whoa , whoa , whoa Whoa .

You need to simmer it fucking down , bro Dude , he's targeted me . Yeah , he has like fucking missile locked . I don't know why .

I had no problem with you at all until you tried to make me sound like a fucking jerk Like .

I didn't know what I was talking about . You're doing a good job of that on your own , my friend .

Shut your fucking mouth too .

That's on you . Fuck , you guys Fucking . Take responsibility . Dude Shit , you're very , very violent , sorry no it violent .

Sorry , okay , as long as you say sorry , we're good . You want to do some heisman trivia like heisman trivia questions oh , you have any star , eric crouch I do not okay .

So how are we doing this ? How do you want to do this ?

uh well , we got buzzers right yeah , uh-huh , you know know , are we going to try the trivia again ? I got some Heisman trivia here because you know , we just had the Heisman not too long ago . Alright , it was actually supposed to be a more in-depth sports trivia , but we only got Heisman questions because I missed a day of life .

It's Friday and we need to forget what happened at all this week . Need to forget it all . Let's go get shit-faced .

Yay , that's awesome . That's my mantra .

So how are you ?

I got a handful of questions .

You got your buzzer .

I got a handful of Heisman questions here . All right , I got that , okay , okay , you're the spring , you're the bell , okay , all right . So Travis Hunter won the Heisman this year , all right .

How's that feel ?

It's not close enough . Yeah , there you go , spin it around . So the black , there you go . Nice , all right .

Seriously , let's be serious for a second . I got it . Got it . Ask your question .

Do you really think I'm going to ask it now Go ?

ahead .

Like really .

Go ahead , All right seriously , let's play now .

Let's play , let's play , let's play , all right , whenever you're ready .

Okay , that's over .

You motherfucker , you can't handle the truth like I can Shit .

Do you want to have your try at my trivia ? Yeah , let's do this , all right . All right , so Travis Hunter won , right .

All right , Travis Hunter yes .

Who is the last ?

player . Oh sorry , Are we starting ?

All right . All right , I'm good , I'm good . Okay , who is the last player from Colorado to win the Heisman Trophy ?

Cordell Stewart Wrong .

Okay , eric Biennemi .

You should have known this , rashaan Shalom .

Shalom , rashaan Shalom Wasn't Biennemi with the . He was with the Bisons . Long Wasn't BNME with the . He was with the Bisons .

So who was the last wide receiver to win the Heisman Trophy ? Tim Brown . No More recent , very more recent . You get one guess . Okay , I got it though .

Oh , Marvin .

Harrison , no Keyshawn Johnson . Devonta Smith . Devonta Smith won it .

He won the Heisman , he did . Yeah , really , he cost Freddie some fantasy football championship too . He fucking shit sucks Yep .

And being that Travis Hunter , the theme here was a wide receiver and a cornerback and a corner . Who was the a cornerback and a corner ? Who was the last cornerback ? Charles Woodson . Very good , matthew .

That seems like a setup . That was totally a setup . I have not seen these questions and I will not know another answer that felt who was the last non-quarterback to win the Heisman to be drafted first overall ?

I don't know .

This is an easy one , isn't it ? It should be .

It's a D lineman .

You're saying the thing . Why are you pointing at your head ? I see you . What are you doing ? Oh , Brock Bowers . No , that was wrong that was wrong . I didn't buzz in , so that don't count .

Aaron .

Donald , you didn't buzz in . Who is Aaron Donald ? No , I don't know what the question again was . Oh , you guys are going to kick yourselves . It's Bo Jackson . He's a Raiders fan . I was trying , dude . I was doing everything I could .

That's why you were pointing at a Raiders fan . I was trying , dude , I was doing everything I could . That's why you were pointing at the Raiders . You fucking cheat . You're a cheat I caught you .

Okay , here's a good one . Unreal , this is a setup , so I've given you one of these answers already . Four people from Alabama have won the Heisman In our era . Right , we're not going back to the fifties and shit , we're going back to like of age watching college football . Four players from Alabama have won the Heisman in our era .

Derek Henry to uh right Wrong , really Wrong , derek Henry was correct . Tua Right Wrong , Really Wrong .

Derek Henry was correct , and I've given you one already Tim Couch , tim Couch .

From Alabama .

Yeah , I'm thinking another running back too .

Oh , it's one of the wide receivers , isn't it ?

You're both correct .

Devontae Smith . It's got to be a quarterback , no Another running back . Who's another good running back that came out of Derrick Henry and who else oh ?

who split ?

What's his name ? What's his name ? Who played for New Orleans ? You're doing it . Kamar , not Kamar . No , no , no no , no , fuck , Fuck . Oh , I know his name . You're so close . Yes , I know , I know , I know Mark Ingram .

Yep . Oh , well done Patrick . And the fourth was Bryce Young .

Bryce Young , fuck that guy , okay , okay .

Who's winning ? Not the guys answering the questions , obviously not .

This is a two-part question .

Oh fucking . Two-part .

Kevin , he must have did this really early in the morning , when he was sober .

Yeah , so I'll read the question first and I'll give you the parts . How many Heisman Trophy winners are in the Hall of Fame ? I will give the closest to the number the win , and then a bonus . I'll let you name some , and whoever can name them the most wins as well . Fuck , I don't even know what to guess on that .

Hall of Famers Heisman Trophy winners First part 27 .

Second part eat a dick . Eat a dick . So far Matt's closest Go ahead , pat , say 26 .

I know you want to say 26 .

$1 . 28 .

Went over . Yeah , that's an unsafe bet .

Yeah , I know 28 and probably like a handful , I don't know .

The answer is 10 .

Really .

Yeah .

So 27 held up .

Awful bet , would you ?

like to hear the 10? .

I'm going to go with Marcus Allen .

Tim Brown .

Joe Montana no .

Montana .

Montana . Oj Simpson , oj's always there . He's cutting up the competition , j's always there .

He's cutting up the competition . He's always there . Where are white women at ?

Desmond Howard . Oh good , he's not in the hall .

Really he really wasn't that good . He had a good Super Bowl , peyton Manning .

He didn't win the Heisman .

Oh , that's crazy , that is crazy .

Eli didn't win the .

Heisman Eli's up to get in this year . He's not in the Hall of Fame either .

He's going to be in the Hall of Fame this year , but he's not what .

But he's not as of this recording . He is not in the Hall of Fame . Okay , okay , settle down .

Jesus , I'm just saying Fuck Parameters bro .

I don't know who else Tell me yes , nice one Good pull , buddy , nice one Good pull man , all right , because you want to know why what I'm doing ?

I'm picking out the fucking Notre Dame Heisman winners .

You are . I was actually impressed you got that .

I bet you , most of them are Notre Dame Heisman winners .

No only the two you said .

Really , that's it , yeah . Who has the most Notre Dame College-wise ? Is it Notre Dame ? Yeah , it's two , just two . Everybody else is from different schools .

Wow , there's two from USC Reggie Bush . You got them already . You got Mark Salen and OJ .

Reggie Bush .

So you gotta figure the guys who are the most Reggie's Bush ? Nobody from Miami , no Heisman , I don't know . Give me the other ones .

Okay , we'll start at the beginning in 48 . Doak Walker .

The Doak Walker Award .

Then it was Paul Horning , roger Starbuck .

Starbuck , I shouldbuck , I fucking knew it .

OJ Tony Dorsett , earl Campbell Shit , we're missing some good ones . Marcus Allen , tim Brown , barry Sanders , barry .

Holy fuck

Charles Woodson Woodson . Oh yeah , from Miami , from Michigan , michigan . Yes , didn't I say Charles Woodson ? No , who did I say ?

I said Desmond Howard , you said Desmond Howard .

That's what I meant , so I got that right .

Let's go to the judges , you're good . So what else we got here ? So I got one more .

This is my last Heisman question . Yeah , let's go to the judges . You're good , all right , so that was okay .

So what else we got here ? So I got one more .

All right .

This is my last Heisman question .

It's a three-part question .

No , no , we passed the hard one .

This is a three-part question .

The third part is an essay I'm in . Who was the last winner of the Heisman to win the national championship ?

Mark Ingram .

No Charles Woodson Tua .

No , it's quarterback Brett Favre , matt Leinart . No , you wanna know Joe Burrow .

Joe Burrow . Joe Burrow , you know what I fucking hate ? Trivia .

Yeah , that was kind of gay .

Yeah , it was alright .

You learned something , though right , yeah , you know what you learned today .

You know what was certainly better ? It's Friday .

And we need to forget what happened at all this week . Need to forget it all .

Let's go get shit-faced . Yay , we gotta adjust that to say Sunday .

Yeah , alright .

Are we unofficially going back to Sundays ? I don't know , okay .

All right , I was just asking that . Listen , this is the first one of 25 , too , right ?

Yeah , first one Right , happy New Year . We didn't even say Happy New Year's . No , god we suck .

Well , we were all fucking turned out by the fucking fact that the world's going to end soon .

Yes . So if you haven't heard it here , you're here first . We're all gonna die .

World war three is coming , just fucking bury your heads , put your asses up in the air and get ready for a good old fucking .

Fuck that lock and load . Yeah , and if you shoot ping pongs , awesome . You know what I mean , I know what you mean , I know what you mean . We need one of those .

A potato gun . Oh , I thought you referred to a particular , never mind .

Yeah , that would be our watch . That would be like our watch guard . That's all right .

Kev will comment on that later offline .

A potato gun ? No , not a potato gun , kevin , not a potato gun . You know what potato gun , kevin Not a potato gun , you know what ?

Not for nothing , but should we boycott Chinese food right now , like no more egg rolls , no more crab rangoon .

Why I mean , come on man , Chinese food's good . God , you just got me hungry for Chinese food .

It is good man Like fuck you . I want some fucking lo mein now .

I had some Peking duck last night . It was outstanding .

Peking duck . Yeah , a Peking duck huh . Yeah , how's that ? It's fucking phenomenal . Yeah , how's it come ?

It's crispy duck and you put a little plum sauce on the pancake thing and you put some scallion in there . The duck , you fucking roll it up like a little burrito , yeah , and roll it up like a little burrito , yeah .

What Skin's great .

Is there a Chinese place , that's ?

open right now ? No , I'm sure there is , man , I don't know if you want to get Peking duck from a takeout , chinese place ?

Yeah , definitely not at 9 o'clock at night , no .

You'll be getting your neighbor's cat from earlier this morning .

You might as well get gas station duck at that point .

I'd like a gas station gummy and some gas station sushi , please . What ?

could go wrong . When was this made ? How many hours ago ? Okay , so it's still good .

Eat the sushi before the gummy so you can get to the toilet before you pass out . Oh my God , is that green wasabi ? What is that ? That's not wasabi , it's a fucking mold . Ugh , is salmon supposed to be tinted yellow ?

No , I'm in the mood for fucking .

Chinese food . Now I do think we need to bring that bit on the show of the gas station food roulette . I really do too , yeah .

Yeah , because I'm the asshole doing it . No , you know what ?

How about we ?

rotate . We could spin the spinner and see who does it .

Right , we wrote oh , he's going to be me . I know it . It's the curse of the flowers . That's what I'm going with . Yeah , I'm hoping .

I mean .

I'd rather be you .

I think we rotate . One week it's me , one week it's .

Pat Explain what this is about .

So two of us within the rotation , two of us would bring in gas station food for the other person to sample and rate . Not necessarily have to eat the entire . We gotta take a bite and get it down . If you get a burrito like , you're not gonna eat the whole fucking unless it's delicious , right , you may want to . Who knows ?

I have . I've driven past a couple of others . Where is this ? What ?

So down 100 . Yeah , you know , as soon as you get like on 100 into Somers like the elephant , you know you go straight , Yep .

Oh , you're talking about that mobile .

Yes .

Yeah .

Yeah , dude , good shit , dude , fucking gas station .

No doubt I used to go there all the time with Sonny oh my god when we were driving down to the city . That doesn't surprise me , no , no , no , that's where we would fucking go off course and get breakfast there .

Dude , even their pre-made stuff is unreal .

That's because it's , isn't it a Flory's ? I think it's a Flory's .

I don't think it is . I think it's something on its own .

A friend of mine owns those . Christine , she's pretty loaded too . Why aren't you banging her ? She's married . Is she happy ? I think so .

Is she happy ?

I think so . I mean it doesn't hurt to ask I know her husband Vinny .

He's a cool dude , Sorry , Vinny , he's a cop and everyone's perfect what ? Oh , fine , so it's you know , Aaron . 22 minutes .

I think that's a good start for 25 . Yeah , we covered a lot .

Fuck man , I'm right .

What Pat's veterinarian doctor Prescribed him .

Something to make him sleep . Fucking narcolepsy that's what it sounds like . That's legit .

Maybe you should get a CPAP Fuck that I'd rather die .

Honestly , you don't know what it sounds like .

I know what it sounds like . Cause it wakes me up .

You've heard what it sounds like .

I know what it sounds like Shit , fucking . It's like I wake up from a terror Fucking , snoring . It's terrible , alright well , that's a good start for the week . Terrible to wake up with that feeling .

If the world doesn't end in the next seven days , maybe we'll do another show .

Kev , how many days you give us ?

Ooh , maybe we see the 4th of July . Wow , no Like , if shit's going in a trajectory in the downhill , fucking whatever that it looks like it's going , maybe for the July , I don't know . You know , give us a nice start of the summer and then fucking Hunger Games .

I can't wait to go shopping on my street . That's a yes . I'd like everything you have in your house , please . Thank you , it's a direction you can fuck .

Cause that's all you're going to hear from me out there . No , no , no man Like you get in the streets and yell yeah , bro , that's , I don't know . That's a short period of time .

I mean , I would like to get to the July 4th . I wanted to have a barbecue .

Can we at least have a 4th of July barbecue ? Have it happen on the 5th or something ?

I'd go for Memorial Day . If you're going to go party , I'd pick that one first . This fucking guy .

So that means no fancy football draft on Labor Day . I mean , do you think football stops before a war , maybe ? Or the machine at the NFL is , they're just going to turn it out anyway .

Get out there now at .

Camp David the Chiefs . There's no electronics , but fucking YouTube is going to send people door to door asking do you want to buy the Sunday ?

ticket and now , for the one time , only the Camp David effect Chiefs versus the Commanders . That's what you're having right there . You got to have the commanders because it's fucking government .

I mean , if we could get away with it , I'd love to see a sniper shoot Patrick Mahomes in the face . Oh , that'd be great Jesus .

What ? That is just very harsh .

Why ? You know what ? I think he's got QB envy man . That's what it is .

He's lashing out on these quarterbacks Because he doesn't have a QB . Because he doesn't have a QB . That's why that seems very , very below you , right .

I mean it's gotta be pretty low to get below me .

But I mean for you to lash out At these quarterbacks because you have no quarterback Is very childish .

I didn't realize we turned this into a therapy show .

Well , I think Kevin and I were just discussing this . We think it's very childish .

There's a car waiting for you outside there better be a couple motherfuckers Gonna take you to an undisclosed area .

I don't know about that . And yes means and no means . Yes , it's taking you to an undisclosed area . I don't know about that . And yes means and no means yes .

Let's take you to Jersey .

That might be okay . Safe word is snorkel , and Kevin made sure he's got the rape whistle on your neck , fidelio , never leave the house without a rape whistle .

Especially if we get an EMP hit . Yeah , dude , oh my god , you're gonna get rape whistles going off like fucking .

Listen , that's the easiest way to explain it . It's EMP , we're done , and you know , just deal with the people , that's it .

Well , alright .

Alright Kev .

Hey , happy New Year , Right yeah .

Goodwill to all . Shut up bitch .

Let the boy watch . Let's have sex .

Yeah , what we doing , live All right . Ladies and gentlemen , thank you for joining us for another fucked up , dysfunctional episode of the Tickety Chow .

Yeah , that was a good one , I thought , it was good , right .

How about we start releasing some you know what ? Skip it .

Start with last week's . Last week's was good , this one , yeah , let's do it . Yeah , yeah , get right on that .

Yeah , take a deep Right after you wake up . It's Did that happen . I want Chinese food . Outro Music .