Questions, questions, questions. Hey, it's Emily, welcome back. Hey, Hi, Hello, Yes you can trust me with your career advice. Welcome back to another episode of the Straight Shooter Recruiter podcast. Yes it's me. I'm your host, I'm your producer. This show is my baby. I am so happy that you are here. It has been a hot minute since we've had a purely questions episode. And I went to go check on the Google form that I put in the description of every single episode where I
collect your questions and audibly gasped because there's so many. I only did I think two weeks where I didn't answer questions because I just had longer podcast episodes, and like it shows because there's so many. So we are going to have a whole dedicated episode just like old days, the old days being in question three weeks ago, where I just get through a bunch of your questions. Don't forget if you want your submitted, I'm always accepting them in the
description. And before we hop into answering these questions, please make sure you are leaving a rating and a review for the show. It takes you what like fifteen seconds, and it really helps grow the show. That's how people are able to find it better when we are rated more highly and in those top charts. And thank you to everyone who's already done that. And additionally, if you're listening to the show and you're enjoying it, please make sure
you're sharing it on social media and tagging me. I would love to share that because it just brings me joy. What can I say? It brings me joy? Okay, I'm ready to crack into it, are y'all? Like, let's get into this. Oh, also by my merch that would be great. Okay, let's go. So the first question is one I have so much empathy for because I was feeling this too when I was the
same age. It's how should I politely answer people when they say, you're only twenty five, You're so young, Like I can't be successful in my current role only because I'm young, especially in interviews. I was in this
position for a long time. I always like share this story when I first started my career, my full first full time job, I actually had it when I was eighteen years old, so I was in a room with people who had more experience, which also meant, for the most part, they were a minimum five to ten years older than me, and I felt really insecure because even though I had an amazing team and they really listened to me, sometimes I would still get scared to voice my opinion or like ask a
question because I didn't want to be perceived as this stupid kid. And it was just really hurtful and it kind of makes you doubt yourself too, right, Like, those are some of the things that you start to internalize and it feeds into your imposter syndrome. So the first thing I want to say is make sure you are not internalizing this. People are projecting their insecurities onto you most times when they're treating you poorly. And that's if they're treating you
poorly. Sometimes these people are saying things like, oh my god, you're only twenty five, you're only eighteen, you're only twenty one, Like it's a compliment. A lot of times, what they're trying to say is you're really smart, You've gotten really far in your life, and you're only this old. Like when I was your age, I was doing way less. So always assume the best out of the people that you are connecting with.
If you're getting the vibe though that they're saying this in a way that's like a bit less kind and they're kind of, you know, giving it to
you like a little dig like you're not qualified. The best thing you can do is a as much as you can avoid making reference to your age, avoid telling them what you do on the weekends, avoid telling them when you graduated, leave out any markers that would indicate that you are young and hip and funky fresh right, like, get out of that whole conversation with them, so that it slowly becomes less top of mind. The only thing I can tell you to do is ignore it, and I know that's going to
be really unsatisfactory. Advice don't clap back, don't tell them anything. Don't feel like you need to defend yourself or do any of these things to impress them or make them think you're more qualified. Your work is going to speak for itself, the fact that you are young and smart now, like, imagine how much you're going to accomplish in the next five years. So don't let this get to your head. It was something that really impacted me and as as older, like, oh god, that was a weird sentence.
As I've gotten older, because I'm twenty eight it's only a couple of years. Well, I shouldn't say I am twenty eight. I'm twenty eight in a couple of weeks. But Tomato's motto pepill slowly stop saying that once you get closer to your late twenties, they kind of just accept your work for what it is. But I've learned now that most people are saying that like it's a compliment or they're jealous of your age. So just keep to yourself
and keep on keeping on. Dear Emily, what advice would you give to someone who genuinely freezes during interviews and struggles to articulate their skills, which causes them to fail miserably during every interview. Basically, I get really nervous during the interview, and I'm always getting interviewed by three people, which causes more anxiety. What's the best way I can excel during these interviews? Any advice would be helpful. Thank you, Thank you so much for writing in.
It is really normal to get nervous during interviews. It's extremely common. In fact, it is way more likely that someone is going to have performance anxiety with the more people in the room, So it's super normal for you to feel extra anxious when there's three people on a panel or if it's a group interview. All of that is super super common. So first thing I want you to do except that you being nervous and you being scared is a sign
that you care. And stop treating this anxiety you have like it's holding you back, and start talking about it like it's an indicator of how much you care. So instead of telling yourself, oh my god, I'm always freezing, I'm such an idiot. I wish I didn't get this nervous, reframe it and actually start saying out loud to yourself. I get nervous because I care so deeply, and when I find the right job, I'm going to care so much that it's going to set me apart from everybody else. When
you start to speak love back into yourself. As cheesy as it sounds, you are legitimately rewiring your brain and forcing your brain to see the good in you. The more we harp on like that anxious cycle, the more we're investing in this spinning wheel where we say I'm not good at interviews. I freeze in interviews. Therefore you freezen interviews and you don't perform well, but when we start to break that cycle how we communicate to ourselves, it legitimately
does make a difference. So try over the next couple of weeks to speak to yourself differently. A more practical kind of tip or like set of advice that I would give you. The only way you're going to get better is if you really pressure and practice. The best way you can relieve pressure is think about something called the improv theory. I have a full podcast episode on this that goes deeper, but improv is basically a style of theater where people,
our actors are making stuff up on the spot. And there's a number one rule in improv theater and in acting where you're not allowed to say no. So I could tell you the sky's falling, you can't say no, But what you can say is yes, the sky's falling and I'm wearing purple shoes. You have to say yes. And and the reason this is a
rule in theater is if you say no, you kill the scene. What's scary about improv is that people don't actually have time to think about what they're going to say, and if they spend too much time thinking about what they're going to say, the scene sucks, it gets awkward, it loses its magic. The scene is also dead. So improv actors have become especially skilled at just talking like they just they fucking talk. They just say what's on
their mind. In fact, I would argue they speak first, think second. So getting into that mindset of it's okay for me not to say the perfect thing as long as I say something is going to free you because you are probably getting so hyped up thinking about if you're saying the right thing that your delivery ends up making the right thing the worst thing to say. It
ends up sounding choppy and anxious and you're freezing and you're taking pauses. So adopt that mindset, and if you can, like start doing improv, like take an improv class on the weekends, it will literally change the way you
communicate for the rest of your life. I would also highly recommend going to websites, even my own, like head over to my Instagram, look at a few of the commonly asked interview questions that I have, and write them down and practice answering them, and record yourself answering them on your phone, and then go back and watch and listen to how you answer and like, look at your body language, listen to the language that you're using. It'll
help you go back and understand specifically what you need to do. But to be honest, if you're someone who's freezing during interviews, this is coming from a place of It's like, the issue isn't that you are underprepared or that you don't know what to say. It's the fact that you get so anxious that you're free that you can't even say the great stuff that you have. So your biggest investment needs to come in your ability to ground yourself and your
ability to be present. So I really advise you take on that improv mindset and start practicing improv. I also think that practices like meditation will really really help you. And I never ever, ever was a meditation person like I was. I don't know. I never thought it was gonna work because I'm
such an overthinker that I thought it wasn't going to work for me. And what I've learned is that the people who think meditation is not going to work for them are typically the people who need to meditate the most, like myself included. And the benefit of you meditating before your interviews is that you become
a bit more grounded. It relieves your anxiety. But when you start to feel yourself get anxious to the point where you're going to freeze in interviews, you're already tuned in with your breath, so you're gonna notice when you're getting stressed, and it gives you a second to self correct. The other thing I need you to remember is it's not that serious. It's not that serious. So what you don't get this job, there will be another job.
And I know that stressful. I'm not negating that at all, But you need to work on like giving yourself permission to be imperfect and giving yourself permotion, permission to let go because you are freezing because you have a desire to control the situation and a desire to be perfect, and a desire to show up as like the best thing that's ever happened, and it's actually making you show up worse than you typically would. So focus on your ability to self
correct and ground yourself. It is like truly going to change the way you look at things. I'm a university student trying to find an entry level job or internship. What are your tips? First of all, congratulations, There is nothing more exciting than the stage of your life of just like figuring out what's next for you, figuring out your career. I look back at my university days and sometimes I miss them a little bit because they feel very,
very far away now. But anyways, super excited for you. A couple of things you need to do. Number one is accept that the first couple of jobs you have out of school you're probably gonna hate, and that's okay. That's actually part of life is not loving the first job. So don't wait around for the perfect position, don't you know, search for that perfect job for a year and a half. Take a chill pill. The job might be only okay, that's okay, as long as you're getting paid fairly
and the people don't suck, you're good. Best things I would consider you doing Number one is invest in a strong resume and really invest in developing your interview skills. So like that last answer I just gave, invest in practicing how to communicate, how to answer questions, know yourself well enough to know when you're getting nervous. Those are all great things to help get you ready. But to tactically get that job, the best thing you can do is
network it really is. Eighty percent of jobs are filled via referrals, and the best way to get a referral, like I always say, is to network. I've got a full podcast episode that actually breaks down how to network and how to use networking to your career advantage. So go take a listen to that to break it down. But the best way to get a job fresh out of school is networking and having strong fundamentals and strong foundationals, and
also target companies that notoriously hire you grads. There are a lot of companies that like invest quite a bit in new grad hiring. A lot of big banks like a lot of companies like that. So just be thoughtful about where you're applying to to make sure they actually have the programs and infrastructure and support you're going to need to grow your career. But my biggest piece of advice,
have a good resume, get really good at networking. How do you know when to be resilient and when to leave the job due to not fitting the culture or understanding office politics. It's hard. It like it's such a hard thing. So good for you for taking some time to think about if this is what you want. Unfortunately, you really won't know how good or bad a company is until you're in, Like you don't know it until you're in, because every recruiter is going to tell you they have the best culture,
they have the best people. It's their job. It's sales. Oops, y'all hear my meeting notification? Whipsie, whipsie. Whoops. That's fine. Well, we'll move forward. We make it happen. Okay, here's what I'm going to say, in my humble opinion, you got to give it a few months to actually see if you can push through. Every job I've ever had for the first five months because I don't like not knowing everything.
I don't like feeling ambiguous. I hate all of those things. It wasn't until about six months into the job I currently have at b my nine to five that I was like, you know what, I kind of love this and I'm so happy I stuck with it because I love this job so much. Like I love this job, so it is. It is something that you need to give yourself some time for. If it's been about six months and you're still feeling the same, you need to ask yourself is it
impacting your mental health? If the answer is yes, good sign. To leave. Is it impacting you on the weekends, is it impacting you after work? Are there things that you can do in your job that can make this job work for you. Maybe you don't engage with certain people. Maybe you get everything in writing instead of you know, taking a request over the
phone because they get a little snappy or they get rude. Whatever it is like, ask yourself what modifications can reasonably exist in order to make this job work for you. Sometimes though, the people just suck and the culture just sucks, and it's a little bit political and it's too political. You need to think about what industry you're working in and see is this the norm for the industry you work in. If you work in consulting and in banking,
I hate to tell you both of those are political. That's not changing no matter which of the big companies you go to, it's going to stay the same. So you might need to actually consider not just a company switch, but an industry switch. So start paying attention to how the industry around you is operating and if that's common. If it's not, and you just got unlucky with this company that kind of sucks, it's time to start looking for
a job. While you set boundaries, listen to last week's episode so that you can survive without losing your mind. But the long winded answer, the short, long short of it. What's that thing on Reddit where it's like the TLDR, the td T tldrm John, what I'm trying to say, the long and the short of it? Something like that. I think that's the phrase goodness. I need a copy basically, long story short, give it a few months. If that is not going to work, create boundaries,
and then go create another opportunity for yourself. I was like an inch and a half away from having an episode this week all about perfectionism and how much it can encourage you to procrastinate and how much it impacts your mental health, and I was getting ready to talk about it, and I was like, oh, you know what, I think we need to answer questions and
then next week we'll talk about perfectionism. So stay tuned for that because it's something I deal with and I really think that I have not mastered it, but I have gotten to a place where I feel really good about how I balance these things. So I'll make sure to keep you really close on the tips and tricks I've learned both through career coaching and in my own journey through therapy. It's basically free therapy, and what you're going to do is be
nice to yourself this week and be kind to yourself. I do have a super exciting announcing coming up that I will make sure to keep you close on. I'm going to be hosting a very big event that will be in person over the next couple of months, so stay tuned for that so I can share with you the details if you are interested. Thank you so much for hanging out with me, and I'll talk to you next Sunday. Y