The Spirited Actor - Arkell Cox

transitioning to acting. My clients consist of musical artists from Buster Rhymes to Eve, Missy Elliott, Angela Yee from The Breakfast Club, and Vanessa Simmons, to name a few. I also coach sports stars and host as well. I feel I have the best of both worlds. As a casting director, I know exactly what they're looking for, and as an acting coach, I can coach you to be remembered in that room. Now I know. I know actors want to get the job. I get that, but being remembered by

a casting director that is powerful. And now it's time for meditation of the day. It's not how much we give, but how much love we put into the giving. Mother Teresa, so you got to be cautious. You have to be cautious of dream bursters. They will try to distract, discourage, and passively aggressively tell you they're only being honest. But does it feel good? If it doesn't, then why are

you still entertaining that energy? As an actor? It's so important because you give so much that you save a little bit for yourself and your friends and your family. But what's important is that you know what energy is positive and what energy is negative. If it's not conducive to moving your life along in a peaceful, happy way, then you need to question the time that you spend because you're wasting time. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Negative

energy attracts negative energy. Today, I will sit in positive energy. Before we get started, I'd like to remind everyone to look out for my new show, Inside the Black Box. I'll be co hosting with the great Joe Morton. We'll be on Cracle Network real soon. I'll keep you posted. Welcome to the Spirited Actor Podcast with me, Tracy Moore, and today's guest. Please sit down, Please just sit down. However you document things, I need you to get your

pen and paper. I need you to get your iPhone I need you to just put it up to record this, get it out of the archives, downloaded, our guest today. I am truely honored, truly honored to have this Spirit Actor alumni, this author, this very successful boss, this amazing human being. She Oh my god, this is when I have so much pride for my spirit Actor Aldi. But ladies and gentlemen, please stand up and put your hands

together for urkel Cox. We are going to talk about her book Diamonds Are Forever Becoming a Boss after a loss Our Kettle Cox. Thank you, Tracy. I so appreciate you. I mean, you know, I've admired you for only twenty five years and you've been on this journey with me from Afar and so to see how God has put us back together what for years? Yeah, yeah, it's just

for me. I didn't know at the time, but it was full circle moment I told you that a couple of I mean, because you really have been someone in this industry that I've looked up to and iron. So thank you. This being here today with you, I'm just like giddy, so think, Oh my god. I I had so many questions swirling around in my head right and I prayed and I was like, spirit, just give me the questions and you know, and I said, the stories are Kelle. You know this is a feature of film.

I don't need to tell you that because she's also a producer of Ladies and Gentlemen, But this is a film. I just kept saying, who does Arkell want to play her? But the Arca Oh that I met was during the time of this evolution. I love how you talk about this coal And I'm gonna start off with her quote you guys, but prior to me meeting you and reading this book, I started to understand more because I didn't know that. And this is I would say two things

that I want her to speak. Okay, what is you guys? As six years old, she asked her parents if she could sleep in their bed. She asked them a couple of times they closed the door on her because she was behind the door asking. She said, okay, as she walked into her room with a I don't know if it was a box or just matches in general, and she lit her bed on fire, and she writes how she calmly went back to her parents room and said, basically, I think you guys should check this out because my

room's on fire. Yeah, and from that point on, not only did she sleep with them that night, but she slept in their bed after that. So that starts it off, you guys. I was like, WHOA, I didn't know that, Arl, there's a little mischievous, but I I love your journey

and I want to start off by her quote. And then what I what spirit told me to talk about were the principles that you have in this book every single chapter, that this is a book to have around all the time as simple reminders when you're going through different things and challenges because you always revert back to God, regardless you were protected, you your spirit would just go to God and then there would be the spiritual growth during that period which would soar you somewhere else and

then we go into the next chapter. That's what I felt. So I was like, I just want to hear the you know, the principles of what's going to help these actors. The story is going to be amazing to visually scene see, because we need to start off with that scene in the van. That is how it should start off. Our Colt jump right into it and take us for that ride because it's fierce, so she has this hole is just a piece of rock until it's put under extreme pressure,

then a diamond is formed. Uh, I was in after that. How first of all, I want to know just going ahead because it feels very therapeutic as well. What was the inspiration? What was that moment when you said, I have to I have to get this out. I have to write this, I have to share it. And even if you know, two people buy my book, I just got to get this out. Well, the book traced him, to be quite honest with you, was just a labor of love. My figure Day passed away in twenty twelve.

And when he passed away, we all know that his alias, his street name was Diamond because his mile just lit a room up so every and he loved diamonds. This was a man that was six four, two hundred and forty pounds cocoa skin, and you know he wore a big old diamond eary. He gave his wife diamonds, and

so his name was Diamond. So hence why the book says diamonds are forever, because I believe that he will forever be with me and my children, right, and what we have done and what we've built over the years that we were together. We were married for fifteen years. In that fifteen years, I believe that that's why I'm who I am today because we had a plan. So the book was just to be written for my children, right just to say to them, you know, this is what mommy was, This is who I was. I was

this girl growing up in Flatbush, Brooklyn. I'm a Brooklyn Knight, and you know, I was a product of my community. But I was always dancing and going to the beat up my own drum. I don't care where I was, who I was with. I could not be led or swaye. I was going to lead the charge. Sometimes it was not the best thing, and it wasn't the best, but what I thought was really important it was to be transparent, right, Tracy.

I wanted to be transparent. Hence why I wrote about being six years old and setting the room on higher, because it's still in my mind, whether it was right or wrong, it was to the beat of my own drum. But I wanted to also show the evolution of me growing up in Brooklyn and being this you know, very strong headed young lady, but at the same time making bad choices. But just because you make bad decisions and bad choices doesn't make you a bad person. It's just

you have to move on. You have to evolve. You have to now know that I can't do that again. Can't be in that company. Right. You're as smart as the group that you're in, Right, So if you're the smartest one in your group, you gotta get a new group, right, because you got to learn from people. And so I thought it was important for young people to read this book and not look at me who I am today and all the accolades and the doctrines and everything else,

but to see, you know, it's like you. I was that girl who grew up in Flatbush, Brooklyn, but look what the choices that I've made have changed. And marrying day and us having a plan and us coming together and really sitting down as a young, you know, couple, young black couple in Brooklyn starting these businesses and just really trying to figure out life. I thought it was important to pay homage to him. And in October he passed away. His birthday's October twenty eighth, and he passed

away in the thirty of two days later. So the book was never supposed to be public. The book was just for me to have something for the kids to know our story, right, because they was seven and fourteen. And so when I wrote the book, I was in Staples. Well, my daughter gave me in December, she gave me a T shirt for Christmas and she said, world's next best author. And I suppose this about about author. She says, you've gotten your book. You've gotten seven chapters and you can't

get finished because you can't deal with daddy dying. You need to get And so we know as parents, when our children charge us to do something, we're going to do it right. So I sat behind my desk. I was on plane rides to and from Dubai or Africa wherever I was going. Those long plane rides is when I would open up my computer and write. But then I said, let me be more purposeful in writing this book. And so I finished a day I wrote this book

and finished the book. Tracy. I literally went to Staples, and as I was in Staples, people were sobbing all over and on their phones, and I was like, what's going on? And then my mom called and said Kobe just died. Immediately my heart sunk and I started crying and I was like his children, his wife. So here it is, I'm writing this book. I'm in Staples printing out five copies, you know, just an eight by ten binder, right, thing that out and then this is all everybody's in

Staples crying because Kobe had just passed. And so for me, it was just it was another full circle moment because now I know what this woman and her children are going to feel like. Yeah, so immediately wanted to prayer for her and her family and her children. And I remember coming back home and the elation of having the book was just it was darkened by what was going on around the world with this man, because the world was feeling his loss, but my world felt the loss

of my husband, you know. And I still said, Okay, the book is just for them. I had five copies that I printed out for key people in my life that I wanted to give the book, and my attorney came over the Monday and I had just come back from the Optimologists because I had a right so much, I had messed up my tear ducks. Oh no, true story. I was at the you know, the Optimologists, and she says, you you you kind of damaged your tear drucks. You

cried too much and so longso made short. My attorney picked up the book, and he says, what's this like it was buying their phone. He wrote a book, and my attorney's very very very rigid. Um, there's no grace because that's it. You should take it because I have no time for this. And I said, okay, fine, But before he left, he still took it. I didn't say anything his wife and he called me with his wife on the phone Sunday morning and she said, he picked up this book on Friday and he had not put

these pages down. And because he's the attorney he is, he won't tell me what it is. But you had him laughing, crying and in disbelief. And so I said, then he says, you have to do something with it, Tracy. I did nothing with it. I left it alone. But here's what happened. This is how God was fourth year

to the Capital. I've been working with the Congressional Black Caucus to get a build in Dave's name for colorectal cancer, so our men of color, our minority men, can go into a doctor's office or the er and urgent care and get a colonoscopy, because nobody has to die of colon cancer. It's one of the answers that it's a cowardly cancer. If you go, you have your kolonoscopy, the polyps are remove, you go back to work, you go to play golf, you go to do whatever it is

you want. But our men, in our community, we're, for one, we're not talking about colon cancer because of the stigma. You know, the examination right right conclusive, it's it's you know that naive not knowing. And then it's our community isn't paying for a colonoscar. So I've said, you know what, my husband's death is not going to be in vain. I'm going to make sure that anybody that needs a colonoscopy can get one. And so, going back and forth, the bill didn't get past when it was supposed to

get pasted in October for him. So two weeks before this enormous fundraiser ten year anniversary that I'm having for him, his life celebration, I says, oh the book, My daughter says, mommy do it. So every house that I reached out to, they don't know who I am, they don't care, so they're not going to back me. So I said, I'm going to publish this book myself, and everybody says it's impossible. And then I found one house that said we will

help yourself publish it. But but welf cover and I said, sawcover, don't baby. By the grace of God, I was able to get the book done a thousand copies in four days. Four days. Wow, We're able to launch the book at fundraising that evening and so the fund by the grace of God, four hours, we raised over thirty thousand dollars. On the I gave away two scholarships to his high school,

Bishop Laughlin um to year. I used to live writing a house the screen, I know, that's like, you're gonna love that, and so I'm in touch with the young ladies. They sent me a beautiful video. But his foundation, the Dave Diamond Cocks Colon Cancer Foundation, is put in ployees

because I don't want a family to suffer. So if I have to pay a mortgage, if I have to put food on the table, if I have to pay for colonoscopy, if I got to pay tuitions, the colon Cancer Foundation that I set up for Dave, that's what that's in place to do, and that's what we do. But the book, some of the proceeds go to his foundation as well, and the book has taken on a whole life, a whole life. Everybody that reads it says, I can't wait for a movie. Yeah, I can't either,

because you cast a movie. You're such a great writer. Visually, like I feel like I know your mom, you know, I feel like I was traveling with you as a flight attendant to all these great countries, being young and free and you know, study different cultures and backgrounds, like you know where you are today, but more importantly where I met you, and to be able to like read your book and look backwards. It's like every you needed

all that stuff to be who you are today. Absolutely, you know, And that's what was so riveting to me because I was like, man, Women's Month is coming up in March, and the principles that you have for women, and you know, it's just sometimes I'd like to think that the world is something different, right that, you know, not that we're all bosses, but when people used to say to me, you left San Francisco and you moved to New York and you only knew two people and

I used to be like yeah, Like in my mind, I'm like, yeah, anybody could do it. It's like no big deal, right I was in my thirties. I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no no, You've got to be made something to move three thousand miles away.

And so that's what I feel about you, um in terms of you know, I just want to go, I'm so glad that you're talking about the colon and you know, just you know, um, really dispelling the fears because people wait kind of too late in most cases when you said, like they go in, take it out, you're back to work. So and this I just want to say, ladies and gentlemen, this is that human being that I was telling you about that is phenomenal. Did you hear the laundry list

of how she gets back? Just unconsciously, it's just that's what she is. Where I want you to take us back to when when when Dave discovered it. And because there's a film I don't know if you've seen it on Netflix called from Scratch, I just say, diamonds are forever becoming a boss after a loss. I've heard about theater near you. That's all I gotta say, so, I've heard about this show, many people have told me, but I just haven't sat with it yet because I have

to be in a certain mind framed Tracey. Yeah, it's a lot of unpacking and so um but I don't even interrupt you, Urkel. I will say this. The dynamic is the love. When I reconnected back with Urkel and we were we were brought together for a project. Um all I saw the sparkle in your life and in your eyes when you took me into every room of your house. Was the love you had for your husband.

That's all I felt. Crazy, Thank you. No, he was a good man, and hence why I feel I've dedicated so much of my life to make sure that his death was not in vain, because I know personally in ten years we've saved hundreds of thousands of lives. We have and we important thing is when they found out that he had colon cancer, we were all in disbelief

because we were on a vacation. We would always take a vacation in even before the children get out of school, so that this was our time, just a week and we were in the Bahamas and he wasn't feeling well, you know, we're from the Caribbean. So I come home. I said, it's got a purge him. I gotta wash him out, you know, let me give you some wash you out. You'll be fine. And no, this man couldn't eat, he couldn't drink, and for two weeks he hadn't had solid foods and if he had it, he just felt

like he was pretty much just like would throw up. Right, So I said to him, bebian, not using the bathroom. You can't hold anything down. What's going on. We went to the doctor and they said, oh, we see a little bit of swallowing by the appendix, but he's fine.

So we had an endoscopy. It was well, and he was supposed to go to Trinidad to shoot a video for Nicki Minaj right, and I had a jet waiting and everything, and I remember, you know the Brooklyn Marquel was like, go ahead, I'm gonna gout him very over there. If you'll go to the doctor. He was like, beb, I have to do this video. Long story made short. Check him in the hospital, New York Presbyterian Hospital. He's

there for three months. Racy, this man they can't figure out within two weeks where there there's no food, there's just ivy and we can't figure out what's wrong with him because he was healthy. He didn't smoke. I drank occasionally, but he was a healthy man. You seen my husband. He was six four, two hundred forty pounds. There was nothing looking like he was ill. But that's why I say cancer is a cowardly cancer, and nobody has to die from His mother and father are approaching eighty and

there live today. They're healthy, thank God. Well, there's no family history. It was just one of those things. That's why I know. His life was a purposeful life. That's why you know, you guys who had everything. We were building our businesses. You know, we were starting to plan for college tuitions, we were doing we were looking for a new home, all these things. But how can I be mad at God? Right? Because he gave me something that I know that I'm grateful for. And my children

were able to see. We have two girls, and they know what true love is. They know what a man needs to do to protect his family, and so for me, it was bigger. I evolved when he passed away because I was that wife that I was there to take care of him and make sure the home was well right, and so when he passed away, it was I can't stand in his shoes, right, So I want to make sure that I do what I need to do. Hence

why it's no coincidence. Next month is that's why I'm wearing this color cobalt see me and for the entire month of March, because this is the color of colorectal cancer, right, and so this is the color that I choose to wear the entire month to represent him and Asian. And so what I'm doing the entire month, I go to DC for two days to speak at the Capitol. I'm laying fifty flags in this color on the monument on the twelve, and I speak on the thirteenth to Congress

for colorectal cancer. I'm speaking at my church CCC on Sunday. I'm just doing a whole tour. But this is my life the NASA. This is what I will do the entire month, and it's just to let our communities know that when you are a certain age, men of minority man our minority men's, when you're a certain you need to go get the colonoscopy because if you're consicated, if you have blood in your stool, or if you're losing weight.

Those are three signs. Then if you tell your doctor any one of those three things two of those things, they have to give you a colonoscopy. They cannot deny you. I don't care what community you're from. They have to conoscopy. So that's what I do. I go back to our underserved communities and I let them know and I will go with you to take that colonoscopy, and if you can't get it, I will pay for it, because that's what it needs to be done. And we got to

change the mindset trains. We got to change the mindset in our communities. You go to the doctor when we're growing up, you got a headache and you're watching TV and you squint in your mother's gonna be like any glasses. That's why you gotta optimologists. Right, we got a little rash, you go to the doctor, Oh you got example, but nobody says like I'm constipated, I have blood in my stool.

Then you need to get a colonoscopy. That needs to move the conversation that we're having at the digiment, because then we'll save our men, we'll save their lives. We'll have our brothers, our husbands, our mentors. You know, we will have them. So that's why, Dave, it is important for me to continue this message through the book, through talking to people, through Congress, however, wherever you give me

a platform, I'm going to do it. So you know, when we go through any type of tragedy in life, especially you know, my daughter lost her dad when she was seventeen, and you know it's something like you said, you know, she thinks about him every day. I know that just in going through those life changes challenges that you kind of hit a crossroad right somewhere where it's like I don't want to go forward or I have to go forward. And what was that crossroad like for you?

Or did you have a crossroad? I mean, I'm still having it. I'm still right ten years later. And so for me, initially was just to make sure my children were okay, because in my mind I was a force before I met my husband's a force, yeah, Yeather, So I just had to go back to transitioning to be in a force by myself and now being that model for these girls. I didn't want my children to say we can't do this. We can't go to dubai, we can't go to dinner, we can't do whatever it is

that the father has made this life for us. Because ninety isn't here. I want to still have that lifestyle and still look at their mother as a strong entity that can stand for two people. Right, I'm still young, but I'm standing for two parents. Now. That was important, and so for me it was to get the children structured, to keep that balance, make sure that they were mentally

and physically and emotionally okay. But then my businesses, right, I was taking on a business with a partner where he and his partner were, you know, famously in love with each other. They were great partners, they were best friends, they were boys. They did everything together. But now that the dynamics are going to change, because now you have to deal with his wife, right, So the dynamics would change. I had to take on that new onset of you know,

I didn't have to do anything. I came in, I turned the lights on, it turned on, you know, I took care everything else. But now everything falls on my back, right, and so the children, the well being of the household, the businesses. So for me personally, being a woman, didn't matter like dating matter. It took four years for me to even have somebody texts me. There was no texting, there was no dinners, there was no sex, there was nothing. There was no in my life for four years because

it didn't matter to me. What matter was me making sure I solidify these businesses and these children and that they were proud of who I am going to become in their lives. Right, that was important. And after four years, I said, I don't let me get out here. And it was important for me to date somebody that was not part of our community, because a big pillar in our community, everybody knew him. And for so many years, I was never our colt. I was always Diamonds wife.

Well that's Diamond's wife. That's Diamond's wife. Even if I was speaking at somewhere, Oh that's Timon's wife. Right. So now markl wow and stepped lying. Yes, that's that's powerful. I remember, Um, when I was coaching Charlie Murphy got rest his stull and he um, he came to my house. I was in Brooklyn and I was trying to get him up the stairs really quickly, and I was like, love Charlie. Because people were starting to recognize her. And this was during the Dave Chappelle Show and excuse me.

I heard someone say Charlie Murphy and I was like, Charlie, you gotta get it. And he turned around on my steps and faced the street and he was like, listen, Tracy, they can recognize me all day because I've always been known as Eddie Murphy's brother, and now I'm Charlie Murfy. And it feels good. We're grateful. We are grateful, but it's a different acknowledge. Yeah, somebody recognizes me for me right, and I in the book. You read the book, so

it pays hummus to where we came from. But the book says it's it's diamonds are Forever, because that shows that part of my life. But the subtitle is becoming a boss your loss, and so that's going to be the next book which tells my story how did I do it? Right? And to the film Thank You, Thank You the sequel. Okay, from your mouth to God's ears. All you have to do is say it, r Kel. You know the power asking it shall be given. It's

not asking, negotiate, asking, dissect. Well, we do that. That's right. You already. I know, you know, we have three minutes. This one flew by. This is why I gotta have it back on because I'm telling you these principles are fierce. Um just I do want to just um anything, U. I'm going to be talking about this book, anything that you like. What's the takeaway? Because, like I said, you know, when bringing you on, I didn't want to talk specific stories.

I wanted to talk about these principles that you were rooted in and you know just and how you know because you at the time, Okay, burn in a bed like that was probably not a good idea, but I love the fact that it was like I slept in the bed that night and nights after. It was like your parents knew as they were dealing with. But what's

the takeaway? There many takeaways? Right? My mom always says, you know, man plans, but God un plans, right, And so I had to learn that because I was so rooted in doing things my way and this was one thing that I could not control. But what I could control is how I moved forward. Right. What I could troll is my narrative, how I was going to come out of this and how my children were going to be on the other side of greatness, and so, by the grace of God, that's what I put all my

strength into. I didn't put my strength into why me, Why you took my husband? We were just about to be on the epitome of greatness. No, I took it as I had a relationship with a man who loved me and my children effortlessly, and so I knew what true love is. People are married seventy years and would not experience what we had. So that was a takeaway. A takeaway was if I can get through this, anybody can get through this, because you know, I'm gonna be real.

I was a hot mess, hot mess dot com like wipe the car, turn the lights on, let's go, you know, but when I had to stand for what I believe in, which was my children and moving forward. The principle the takeaways Tracy, is that you can't be defined by what happens to you. You're going to be defined by how you perceive and how you move. You know, we can't stay in the what ifs and woses me because the only constant my past day are or not says is

all the time. The only constant in life is change. Evolution, and so we have to change. We have to evolve. And if I had stayed in this light of you know, Davis gone, I wouldn't have open, you know, two more eye hops with not traditional funding, you know, because the first time the banks won't give us any money. Now they pay me to speak on their panels, right the same ones it didn't give us money. Now I'm worth something, you know. And so you just can't stay in that moment.

You have to grow through it. There's ten years and I'm still growing through it. And that's that's my takeaway, and that's my principle. Trust God, trust your discernment, and just grow through the pain. Oh my God, ladies and gentlemen, please with everything you have which I hands together for our cold and please please purchase Diamonds are Forever. Please, I need you to purchase this Becoming a boss after a loss, that that transitional period is phenomenal. So please

get this book and lead it. Yes it is a word. So we have two actors here spirit actor who want to ask you some questions are kill so also, who are we starting with? We will start with Peter Moore. We're gonna start with your question, Peter, what question do you have for our cal pass Um? My goodness. At first, I just want to say that was just so beautiful. You touched every thing that I do and everything. What I wanted to ask though, is, um, do you want

to expound do something internationally with that? Like, um, you know, with them with the Colon Cancer Foundation. How does how does that work? Because like I'm from Barbadas and I'm trying to um put together something in Barbadas and I was like, oh, my goodness, that would be wonderful. You know, how does that? Peter? Well, thank you, thank you for resonating with my story. And yes we'll say this, I use a bigin tool yea, yeah, I was gonna say

that the final process of getting my residency. So of course yes we're going international. But I actually, um, Peter, to answer your question in all honesty, my fellow, beigent um I'm doing. I was home in Barbados for Christmas and I six books, but I sold about twenty four books and they're just waiting for me to come back to do a book reading and a book signing in Barbados. But the Colon Cancer Foundation to Dave Diamond cost for the Colon Cancer Foundation is not just here in New York.

It is international because I work by I work in Africa, and so with me working all these different places, I always always plug the Colon Cancer Foundation, and I always try to any stage and talk about colon cancer and how we can prevent people from dying. So to answer your question, we are an international organization. We are in the Korean we are anywhere. I speak to people throughout the world, Dubai, as I said, Barbados, Africa, and there's so many other states that I will talk to people

online and do zooms as well. So if you're having talk, yes, you so much, beautiful, beautiful, Thank you Peter. Also thank you Peter. Yes. Up next we have miss Amber Janet Amber. What's your question for him? I just want to say you have an incredible story that has touched me so deeply. It has been an honor to listen to you share your piece. I lost my grandmother to cancer back in twenty and ten, so I know how much it just hurts.

So my question to you is what was it like walking with and leaning on and depending on Holy Spirit as you were turning your pain into passion? And also, what would you say are the beginning steps of turning pain to passion. Well, thank you Amber for your question. I'm sorry about your loss as well as you know. It's something that we live with. M To answer the

first part of your question. For me, I've always had a deep faith, right, I've always trust God, I've always trust my discernment, and so when my husband was in the hospital, that's all that I had. Right at one point, if I can be transparent with you, at one point I started to barter with God. And you can't bother with God. We know that, right, you can't. You know,

say do this and I'll do that. But at one point I really said, oh God, please just let him come out of this alive for his children and let him get at Kneeda, let him forget me, let him hate me, but be here for his children. And then, as my husband's progressively got sick faster and faster, this cancer started to grow in him, like basically overnight, I just started to realize, you can't teeter. You can't be on both ends of the spectrum, right, you can't be

on the fence. So if you're gonna trust God, you gotta trust him with all your heart. You've got it to surrender. And I remember my grandmother singing this song around the house by surrender all right, and that's what I started listening to it, and I said, oh, that's what that meant. So you never take away, you listen to things in passing. It never means anything, but as an adult, that's what it meant. I said, you know what, God, I'm gonna trust you. I'm not going to stand on

my own understooding. And that's when I just started to pray for strength. So instead of praying for my will, I just prayed for God to give me understanding. And I started to turn the purpose the pain into purpose. Is when I realized he's not coming back, he's gone. My children are not going to have a father I am. I didn't want to bring a man in my home to be a father to my children because that's not what I wanted. So when I realized that this is now my life, the only thing I could do is

to stand in my truth. Amber I could just just move forward and deal with the hand that I was dealt with. So do I deal with the pain which was consuming me, which was making me better, which was making me that, which was making me not productive, which was making me alienate myself from friends and family. And I'm I don't mean to make you cry, but it's my truth. I couldn't. I didn't want to be that person. I wanted to be the person who was a light.

I wanted to be the person who somebody else could say, if she can do it, I can do it. And and that's why I'm so grateful to God that I'm here now, because if I could do it, anybody could do it amber anyone. And so that is the takeaway. Don't stay in the pain. You have to deal with it and you have to confront it so that you can move on. But we can't stay there. If we can't, we can't blame ourselves. We can't blame God. It's just moving on. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you.

You're beautiful, but a blessing, you know what I mean. Like, that's why I love this show. Yes, it's a spirited actor and it's about actors, but in a time where self care and should be p already, like your words are healing, and I know that Amber and Peter walked away with something. So this is what I said. A phenomenal human being. I said, that from the jump ladies and gentlemen. I just want to say thank you so much. Rquelle.

I do want you to come back on because there are other specifics that I wanted to talk to you guys about in terms of her career and her rise to be this boss after a loss. So I want you all to arkell. Where can they get this book? Where can they pick this book up? So the book is on my website and that's at matriarch dot matriarch media dot com. And so it's Matriarch. My mother is still alive. She's seventy six today, praise guy, looking beautiful. So I'm gonna celebrate her today. But so she's the

matriarch of the family. But I'm matriarch a ark for Arkeel right, So I love it. R a r Ken that's what they used to call you. I apologize, ar okay once again, tell us again, O poo nature arch mediam dot com and I'll put it in the chat so you can have it also trade. Okay, excellent, I'm just showing the book. You guys. Get a cup of tea little honey, sit in a cozy chair, and I guarantee you I had to slow myself down from reading because I was like, I'm gonna finish too soon. So

thank you for the sequel. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, please put your hands together for our Kel Cox offer, entrepreneurial boss, phenomenal human being. Thank you so much, Klee, love you to pieces man and we will be back on the Spirited Actor Podcast with me Tracy Moore, and Le'm gonna give you some self help. Well that was our kel. I'm going to give you some self tape pips. Welcome back to the Spirited Occupodcast with me Tracy Moore.

Now we're not going to have pass in session today, however, I am going to give you some self tape tips. First, I want to say it's very important that you get the right equipment. You cannot shoot outside with traffic going, you can't shoot in a dark closet with your flashlight from your phone. You have to purchase and invest in yourself. So you can go to Amazon and get like a green or blue or gray background. You can also get

very limited lighting, but great lighting. And then you also want to make sure that your sound is always right. Your sound. You know you sound clear and crisp, so get some audio but invest in the equipment that you need to succeed in these self tapes. Okay, we do look at that. This is again show business. It's not show art or craft where you create how you want to turn in your self tapes. This is a business where we have a certain standard expectation and protocol that

you should abide by unless otherwise told to you. Okay, So, and what I mean by that is like, if you know, the casting directors always have specific information on how you guys should self tape and how you should you know, look in the camera, maybe look off to the camera, follow those directions to the t casting directors right there. For a reason. The second thing I want to talk about is when I started out in casting, I did

live casting. So we would have live sessions where you came in for auditions, or you came in for callbacks, or you came in for a chemistry read with the other actors who are cast in the show. Regardless, we were live. And so from the time you walk into the time you hit your mark in front of that table where we said we have already sort of scanned you, how you walk tells us something about you. If you walk in hunched over looking down on the ground. That

doesn't give us a lot of confidence. If you walk in and you look us straight in the eye and you shake our hands firmly, we trust that we feel secure with that. So by the time you are saying the sides, we have already come to some sort of

assessment of you. We don't have that ability anymore to just take extract personality parts about you, because remember, yes, there's a job that you are hired as an actor, but as a business person, we need to trust that you're going to be on time, You're gonna have a great attitude on the set. We don't have to love you, but we do have to like you to work with you. All of these things are on a casting director to extract from you from self tapes. So where do you

extract Where do you engage your personality? You engage it in the slate And for those of you who don't know, the slate is when you id yourself. So I would say, Hi, I'm Tracy Moore. I live in New York City, Brooklyn, New York, five to seven, and I'm reading for the role of Sarah. Now I'm not an actor. However, be yourself. That's what we want to see your authentic self. We don't want to see you in a character. Who want to see you in your authentic self. Say do you

like where you live? Do you like your name? I mean, we can pull those things and in callbacks we have a little more time. But you know, directors ask in some cases who has a better personality this actress or this actress, and it's down to the castle here to say, well, you know, she was a little more pleasant. So we need to see your personality. Incorporate your personality in your slate. Also, in terms of takes, do not do more takes than what you would do if you were in a live room.

So a lot of times actors will spend half the day doing like thirty takes. Don't do that anywhere from three to five. Seriously, we are not looking for protect perfection. We're looking for potential. And if you come to us quote unquote perfect, where's the room and the space for us to do things and to give you direction or to see how versatile your talent is. Just do your best. Do your best when you do the work prior break down of the character, creating as many choices as you can.

I say, between fifteen and twenty. So when you're on the set, you have choices, a lot of them and arsenal of them. Do the worked. When you do the work, you have the confidence when you do, When you have the confidence, you do a great job, at least great enough to be noticed by a casting director or how should call them men or put them on my list for a callback? That's important, very very important. Do as many takes as you would get if you were in a live room. Three to five takes, don't no, not

all days. And the last thing I wanted to say is that when you present yourself tape, we're looking for characters. We're not looking for people who hold their paper, say their lines, look up and wait for their que line. Actors know how to listen. Actors know how to react. If you're in a scene and people are talking around you, you should be without your lines. You should be reacting because you are there and we see you, and you're actively involved without lines, and you do that with your

inner voice, by building your inner voice. Okay, so these are some self tape tips that I have. I have some more, but I wanted to share this with you today to give you guys a Lisa jumpstart for those of you who are just now starting out, and for those of you who are doing self tapes, now take key to those things. We'll be back with the Spirited Actor Podcast with me Tracy Moore and I'm going to give you some love. I'm gonna give you love, and

now it's time to give love. How often do you celebrate yourself, no material things, but sitting quietly, just being in your own presence. I worked hard in this business, ladies and gentlemen, I will tell you I worked eighteen hour days. I worked twenty four hours on one of my first music video. Now I work smart. Now I

protect my mental peace, my healthless priority. I eat to live, and every day when I wake up, I thank the spirit for waking me up and giving me another opportunity to be a better mom, a better sister, a better friend, a better aunt. Every day is a fresh start. I work on not bringing stuff from yesterday into today. I allow myself in every moment to tell Tracy how amazing she is, and you should do the same. Don't forget to look out for us. On our new show, Inside

the Black Box. My co host will be Joe the Legend Morton it's going to be the Spirited Actor Podcast on steroids. We'll be streaming on the Crackle network. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for joining us on the Spirited Actor Podcast with me Tracy Moore. I look forward to our next Spirited Podcast. Thank you.