Welcome to the Sourcing Hero podcast produced by UNA, a group purchasing organization that empowers sourcing heroes and Art of Procurement, the world's largest procurement podcast network.
.9995 I'm your host, Kelly Barner. 3 00:00:17,499.999 --> 00:00:29,290 The goal of the Sourcing Hero podcast is to capture the epic stories of people who are rising up and beating the odds to create exceptional value within procurement directly from those heroes themselves. 4 00:00:31,366.666666667 --> 00:00:35,686.666666667 Today, my guest here on the sourcing hero podcast is Ryan Christensen. 5 00:00:36,266.666666667 --> 00:00:41,526.666666667 Ryan is a professional hypnotist specializing in peak mental focus and performance. 6 00:00:42,196.666666667 --> 00:00:56,636.665666667 After 23 years of experience in the intelligence community, he has now worked with hundreds of high achievers and neurodivergent professionals to radically transform their mindset and shift their subconscious beliefs towards inevitable success. 7 00:00:57,6.665666667 --> 00:00:59,346.666666667 So Ryan, I am so glad to have you with me. 8 00:00:59,996.666666667 --> 00:01:01,36.666666667 Thank you so much for having me. 9 00:01:01,66.665666667 --> 00:01:01,716.666666667 It's an honor to be on. 10 00:01:02,606.666666667 --> 00:01:21,156.666666667 Now, I'm going to say right out of the gate, and I think this is one of the first things I said to you when we were prepping for having this conversation, I don't talk to a lot of professional hypnotists, um, but I love the idea of thinking about the role of the mind and thinking about thinking, tell us something about your professional journey. 11 00:01:21,166.665666667 --> 00:01:25,81.666666667 How did you reach the point where this is your area of specialty? Oh, wow. 12 00:01:25,81.666666667 --> 00:01:26,21.666666667 That's a really good question. 13 00:01:26,371.666666667 --> 00:01:34,161.665666667 So, like I said, I spent 23 years in the intelligence community, you know, between the Marine Corps, Air National Guard, spent some time in DC working as a contractor doing counter terrorism, counter proliferation, right. 14 00:01:34,731.666666667 --> 00:01:36,361.666666667 And really trying to save the world. 15 00:01:36,571.666666667 --> 00:01:37,301.665666667 It's kind of like my thing. 16 00:01:37,581.665666667 --> 00:01:38,991.666666667 That was my, that was my, that was my jam. 17 00:01:38,991.666666667 --> 00:01:40,881.66566667 That was kind of like the thing that was really keeping me going in life. 18 00:01:41,451.66666667 --> 00:01:44,941.66666667 But around 2019, 2020, I'm realizing I'm doing all this work and the world does not want to be saved. 19 00:01:45,101.76666667 --> 00:01:47,941.66666667 Um, do all this work and things are actually getting worse. 20 00:01:47,951.66666667 --> 00:01:49,691.66666667 So obviously I am in the wrong line of work. 21 00:01:50,881.66666667 --> 00:01:53,661.66666667 So my parents, uh, like my dad runs a nonprofit. 22 00:01:53,681.66666667 --> 00:01:56,61.66666667 My mom works, uh, mortgages, helping people get the houses. 23 00:01:56,71.66666667 --> 00:01:57,811.66666667 My dad's or my brother's a financial advisor. 24 00:01:57,811.66666667 --> 00:02:00,411.66666667 They're always just talking about all these people that they're helping in the successes they get. 25 00:02:00,451.66566667 --> 00:02:01,741.66566667 I'm like, ah, doing it wrong. 26 00:02:01,771.66666667 --> 00:02:02,511.66566667 I'm trying to save the world. 27 00:02:02,566.76666667 --> 00:02:10,286.66666667 I was doing a lot of work in myself and one of the men's groups I was in, there was a guy who was a hypnotist talking about like, you know, toxic shame and emotional baggage. 28 00:02:10,286.66666667 --> 00:02:17,76.66566667 And well, you know, Catholic got some of that, did a session with them, just felt lighter and carried around 50 pounds of baggage, get rid of 20, everything's just easier. 29 00:02:18,36.66666667 --> 00:02:23,466.66666667 And so got certified as a hypnotist in February, 2020, right after that, everything shuts down because of pandemic. 30 00:02:23,776.66666667 --> 00:02:25,766.66666667 I can't work from home because everything I do is classified. 31 00:02:28,756.66666667 --> 00:02:29,596.66666667 So I got nothing but time. 32 00:02:29,896.66666667 --> 00:02:30,236.66666667 Yeah. 33 00:02:30,366.66666667 --> 00:02:33,866.66666667 So I start, uh, you know, working with some folks online from some of these groups realized got talent for it. 34 00:02:33,906.66666667 --> 00:02:37,366.66666667 We're like really, you know, seeing kind of like some of these big changes and big shifts happening really fast. 35 00:02:37,996.66566667 --> 00:02:42,856.66616667 Uh, I got some more training, started my business in April, 2020, went full time as a dentist in October, 2020. 36 00:02:42,856.66616667 --> 00:02:44,146.66666667 I've been doing a full time ever since. 37 00:02:44,656.66666667 --> 00:02:47,66.66666667 And the thing is like, I don't see this any different. 38 00:02:47,326.66666667 --> 00:02:48,436.66666667 That is how my intelligence work. 39 00:02:49,516.66666667 --> 00:02:52,636.66666667 I really don't, you know, there's something going on in the back of your head. 40 00:02:52,826.66666667 --> 00:02:53,656.66666667 It's not working the way you need to. 41 00:02:54,406.66666667 --> 00:02:54,476.66666667 Fair enough. 42 00:02:54,906.66666667 --> 00:02:55,716.66666667 There's a reason for it. 43 00:02:55,946.66666667 --> 00:02:56,646.66666667 There's a purpose. 44 00:02:56,926.66666667 --> 00:02:58,246.66666667 So it's something to solve a problem. 45 00:02:58,386.66666667 --> 00:03:01,426.66666667 It's got a reason to do that as an understanding of why things are the way they are. 46 00:03:01,806.66666667 --> 00:03:03,36.66666667 And because of that, this is necessary. 47 00:03:03,256.66666667 --> 00:03:03,826.66666667 Fair enough. 48 00:03:04,396.66666667 --> 00:03:07,391.56666667 I don't have to guess why, because all the answers are in the back of your head. 49 00:03:07,681.66666667 --> 00:03:08,651.66666667 I just need to have access to it. 50 00:03:09,211.66666667 --> 00:03:12,611.66666667 You don't have no, it opens the door to that back of your head, opens the door to that part of your mind. 51 00:03:12,611.66666667 --> 00:03:13,361.66666667 It's actually around the show. 52 00:03:13,941.66666667 --> 00:03:14,491.66666667 And then I can do it. 53 00:03:14,491.66666667 --> 00:03:17,451.66666667 I'll say, show me, show me how you're working. 54 00:03:17,621.66666667 --> 00:03:18,821.66666667 Show me why this is necessary. 55 00:03:19,241.66666667 --> 00:03:29,141.66666667 And as soon as I understand the chain of logic, as soon as I understand how the system is built, I can understand how I can break it, take that a one apart, create a new blue set, a new conclusion from the same data takes you to a different place. 56 00:03:29,911.66666667 --> 00:03:42,596.66666667 And that's the trick is really just figuring out why the heck am I doing this thing in the first place? Like, what's the truth of this behavior? What's the truth of this pattern? Cause as soon as you know that truth, you can figure out where you went wrong, misunderstood things, whatever that happens to be. 57 00:03:43,116.66666667 --> 00:03:43,416.66666667 Correct. 58 00:03:43,416.66666667 --> 00:03:44,906.66666667 It gets yourself on the right track. 59 00:03:45,966.66666667 --> 00:03:47,666.66666667 And you've also written a book about this. 60 00:03:47,666.66666667 --> 00:03:52,436.66666667 And in fact, that book is going to be sort of what underpins our conversation today. 61 00:03:52,436.66666667 --> 00:03:59,416.66666667 But do you want to share with everybody what the book is called, why you decided to write it something about availability? Sure. 62 00:03:59,436.66566667 --> 00:04:05,486.66666667 So, uh, the book is called winter peace, kind of like inner peace, but winter peace, because I don't think you should have to choose between success and like fulfillment and inner peace. 63 00:04:06,56.66666667 --> 00:04:06,986.66666667 I'm greedy on one at all. 64 00:04:07,556.66666667 --> 00:04:13,896.66666667 How to enter in conflict, make success inevitable, right? Cause my, my thesis of the way that I've kind of understood things as I moved through the world is. 65 00:04:14,331.66666667 --> 00:04:17,761.66666667 The thing that holds us back most is that internal war against ourselves. 66 00:04:18,211.66666667 --> 00:04:24,421.66666667 We're not on the same page, right? You got a company and all the different departments are fighting all the time and nothing's working right. 67 00:04:24,441.66566667 --> 00:04:26,381.56666667 And they're not listening to frigging be CEO. 68 00:04:26,381.66666667 --> 00:04:27,631.66666667 Like nothing works right. 69 00:04:27,861.66666667 --> 00:04:28,281.66566667 Fair enough. 70 00:04:28,931.66666667 --> 00:04:30,421.66566667 Let's understand why it's not working. 71 00:04:30,631.66666667 --> 00:04:33,941.66566667 Understand how it actually does work so we can understand why it's happening. 72 00:04:34,411.66666667 --> 00:04:37,291.66666667 Get everybody on the same page, working together on the same team, same plan. 73 00:04:38,71.66666667 --> 00:04:39,831.66666667 The book is essentially the process I use. 74 00:04:40,116.66666667 --> 00:04:44,776.66666667 You know, I figured out all these different things about how the mind works and all this, all this stuff works that I haven't really seen anywhere else. 75 00:04:44,786.66666667 --> 00:04:54,416.66666667 I wanted to get this out there so that more people can start doing this and it's designed to take you through that journey and through that process that I take all of my clients through to get you that place where everybody's all on the same beam. 76 00:04:55,116.66566667 --> 00:04:56,996.66666667 You can listen to and understand those parts of your mind. 77 00:04:57,386.66566667 --> 00:04:58,856.66566667 It can do more than work on its own. 78 00:04:59,441.66666667 --> 00:05:07,481.66666667 You know how to help yourself when you feel these emotions interpreted more as questions as your mind asking you for help to solve a problem, which means you get to relate to that stuff much differently. 79 00:05:08,911.66666667 --> 00:05:11,251.66566667 And the reason why I say success becomes inevitable is two things. 80 00:05:12,121.66666667 --> 00:05:14,691.66666667 Number one, get anything you want in life is just solving a series of problems. 81 00:05:14,721.66666667 --> 00:05:15,141.66666667 That's it. 82 00:05:15,981.66566667 --> 00:05:17,821.66666667 And once you know what the problem is, it's easy to fix. 83 00:05:18,331.66666667 --> 00:05:20,271.66666667 The hard part is figuring out what the problem is. 84 00:05:21,61.66666667 --> 00:05:24,241.66666667 So either, you know, what's going on, you're rock and roll, you're fixing it or hitting a wall. 85 00:05:24,771.66666667 --> 00:05:25,621.66666667 You start feeling something. 86 00:05:26,111.66666667 --> 00:05:30,511.66666667 And once you understand what those feelings are, what question is asking you and saying, I'm solving this kind of problem. 87 00:05:31,471.66666667 --> 00:05:34,111.66666667 It makes it a lot easier to figure out what that problem is, gets you there a lot faster. 88 00:05:34,821.66666667 --> 00:05:38,331.66666667 So once you understand how this stuff works, you get to iterate through that process much, much faster. 89 00:05:39,761.66666667 --> 00:05:46,91.66616667 The other piece is we're only able to work long enough, or as long as we can withstand like the suffering and pain that goes with it. 90 00:05:46,91.66616667 --> 00:05:46,231.66566667 Right. 91 00:05:46,231.66666667 --> 00:05:47,891.66666667 Can only train physically until I get too sore. 92 00:05:48,11.66566667 --> 00:05:48,561.66566667 Right. 93 00:05:48,911.66666667 --> 00:05:54,331.66566667 Well, same thing happens with mental emotion work, right? Until the stress is too much, until like the emotions come up, just gets in the way. 94 00:05:54,401.66666667 --> 00:05:54,641.66666667 Right. 95 00:05:55,371.66666667 --> 00:06:03,151.66666667 Well, if emotions aren't pain, if they become questions, then can you suffer mentally and emotionally more? Not really. 96 00:06:04,256.66666667 --> 00:06:08,476.66666667 And if you can't suffer, then your capacity for mental emotional work essentially becomes well, infinite. 97 00:06:09,926.66666667 --> 00:06:15,566.66666667 Not a matter of how long can I work or how hard can I work? It's a question of how hard do I want to work or how long I should work. 98 00:06:16,586.66666667 --> 00:06:19,506.66566667 So if you solve problems faster, you can work as long as you choose. 99 00:06:20,436.66666667 --> 00:06:22,226.66666667 Everything I want is basically yours, just not yet. 100 00:06:23,466.66666667 --> 00:06:23,916.66666667 Just a question. 101 00:06:23,936.66666667 --> 00:06:24,536.66666667 I want to go get it. 102 00:06:25,76.66666667 --> 00:06:38,796.66566667 One of the things that you write about in the book that I really appreciate because I see the connection to lots of different ways of looking at things is that a lot of times we think we're focused on the heart of a problem and we're not. 103 00:06:38,856.66666667 --> 00:06:47,576.66666667 We're actually dealing with a symptom and you acknowledge that there are a number of approaches, healing methodologies, things like that, that. 104 00:06:48,56.66666667 --> 00:07:00,156.66666667 are recognized widely, but that they can't be truly effective because they don't actually get to the heart of the problem, which is ultimately where we want to be if we don't want to have to suffer. 105 00:07:00,916.66666667 --> 00:07:17,146.66666667 What are some of those methodologies techniques approaches that really only scratch the surface as opposed to, as you had said, sort of opening the door all the way back to the back of your mind? So fundamentally, the way I look at it, you know, I talk about this in book, you've got kind of like a conscious mind, a rational mind, emotional mind, and instinctive mind. 106 00:07:17,746.66666667 --> 00:07:26,266.66666667 Got a lot of stuff that we do on the conscious and rational level, right? Talk therapy, all these different modalities, kind of like understand things, make better decisions, millions and millions of techniques to do that. 107 00:07:26,336.66666667 --> 00:07:26,606.66666667 Right. 108 00:07:27,246.66666667 --> 00:07:30,16.66666667 And a lot of them are really effective at solving the problem they're designed to solve. 109 00:07:31,96.66666667 --> 00:07:34,616.66666667 Part of the difficulty with all this stuff is that they're trying to solve problems they can't solve with that. 110 00:07:35,426.66666667 --> 00:07:35,676.66666667 Right. 111 00:07:35,726.66666667 --> 00:07:38,556.66666667 Let's me solve the emotional problem with an instinctive or the rational approach. 112 00:07:38,556.66666667 --> 00:07:39,136.66666667 That's not how it works. 113 00:07:40,246.66666667 --> 00:07:41,606.66666667 You know, facts don't care about your feelings. 114 00:07:41,616.66666667 --> 00:07:43,946.66666667 Gravity works, whether we want it to or not, I don't really care. 115 00:07:44,686.66666667 --> 00:07:45,776.66666667 Feelings don't care about your facts. 116 00:07:46,96.66666667 --> 00:07:53,846.66666667 So you can't reason your way through an emotional process, not how it works, right? Those emotional instinctive minds are the most difficult places to get. 117 00:07:54,816.66666667 --> 00:07:56,496.66666667 We really don't have a lot of tools that get done. 118 00:07:57,306.66666667 --> 00:07:59,646.66566667 The only ones that we really have are psychedelics and hypnosis. 119 00:08:01,26.66666667 --> 00:08:01,986.66666667 Psychedelics are amazing. 120 00:08:02,376.66666667 --> 00:08:06,316.66666667 They open that door, bring a lot of stuff up, show you a lot of really cool stuff, create a lot of awareness. 121 00:08:07,591.66666667 --> 00:08:10,31.66666667 Difficulty is number one, you don't get to choose where you go. 122 00:08:10,921.66666667 --> 00:08:19,761.66666667 It shows you what it chooses to show you, right? Number two, you're on a ride you don't control, which means there's limited space to do actual work to fix things down there. 123 00:08:21,721.66566667 --> 00:08:30,951.66666667 So it's more of a generative thing than a restorative generative, creating new possibility, creating opens openings, you know, expanding the field of play that understand you're like, Oh, this is not this. 124 00:08:30,971.66666667 --> 00:08:31,601.66666667 It's this other thing. 125 00:08:31,611.66666667 --> 00:08:31,901.66666667 Great. 126 00:08:31,911.66666667 --> 00:08:33,501.66666667 Now I have a much better understanding. 127 00:08:33,521.66666667 --> 00:08:34,531.66666667 Now I can create something new. 128 00:08:35,741.66666667 --> 00:08:39,221.66666667 But once you're done with that journey, all the integration you do is on a conscious level. 129 00:08:39,411.66666667 --> 00:08:43,341.66666667 Now that I have this understanding, how do I navigate the world? How do I make better choices? And don't get me wrong. 130 00:08:43,361.66666667 --> 00:08:44,201.66666667 That's an amazing thing. 131 00:08:45,41.66666667 --> 00:08:54,1.66566667 And a lot of what also happens is you're kind of like reducing that emotional load, getting rid of some of that negative emotion, right? With things like EMDR, somatic work and stuff like that, to sort of like reduce that burden. 132 00:08:56,311.66566667 --> 00:08:58,411.66666667 But that's not the, what you feel isn't the problem. 133 00:08:58,711.66666667 --> 00:09:00,231.66666667 The feeling is just what is the question. 134 00:09:00,241.66666667 --> 00:09:00,931.66666667 It's the signal. 135 00:09:01,121.66666667 --> 00:09:03,91.66666667 It's the expression of, this is what I see. 136 00:09:03,731.66666667 --> 00:09:08,571.66666667 So removing the signal takes away some weight, less stuff in your backpack, right? 30 pounds instead of 20. 137 00:09:08,661.66666667 --> 00:09:08,961.66666667 Great. 138 00:09:09,1.66666667 --> 00:09:09,551.66666667 Things are easier. 139 00:09:09,601.66666667 --> 00:09:09,921.66666667 Perfect. 140 00:09:10,461.66666667 --> 00:09:13,751.66666667 Didn't solve the thing that's actually generating the signal, generating that problem. 141 00:09:14,471.66666667 --> 00:09:21,541.66666667 That's why I like to use hypnosis because with hypnosis I can open that door to subconscious mind and I get to go after what I choose to go after. 142 00:09:22,781.66666667 --> 00:09:24,591.66566667 Target the thing I want to go look for. 143 00:09:24,591.76566667 --> 00:09:26,521.66666667 Go after the thing that I know needs to be fixed. 144 00:09:27,536.66666667 --> 00:09:30,366.66666667 And stay down there until it's fixed. 145 00:09:32,816.66666667 --> 00:09:36,626.66666667 And that is why I think that this is kind of like the final piece of the puzzle. 146 00:09:36,906.66666667 --> 00:09:37,316.66666667 Sure. 147 00:09:37,506.66666667 --> 00:09:39,686.66666667 A lot of these tools are like getting you different stages of the process. 148 00:09:39,686.66666667 --> 00:09:41,376.66616667 Like if you're all up in your trauma and everything else, great. 149 00:09:41,376.66616667 --> 00:09:43,486.66566667 You need to go to a trauma therapist and deal with that in that way. 150 00:09:43,736.66666667 --> 00:09:43,996.66666667 Perfect. 151 00:09:44,636.66666667 --> 00:09:47,476.66616667 Maybe you do the MDMA or psychedelic assistance psychotherapy to get you further. 152 00:09:47,476.66616667 --> 00:09:47,736.66566667 Great. 153 00:09:48,186.66666667 --> 00:09:50,766.66666667 Do some psychedelic stuff to really kind of open up that door, get a lot of awareness. 154 00:09:50,766.66666667 --> 00:09:51,16.66666667 Great. 155 00:09:52,206.66666667 --> 00:09:54,416.66666667 Haven't done the restorative process down there at that level. 156 00:09:55,331.66666667 --> 00:09:57,71.66666667 Next step in the thing to finish that process. 157 00:09:59,31.66666667 --> 00:10:01,281.66666667 So it's like all models are wrong. 158 00:10:01,281.66666667 --> 00:10:05,951.66666667 Some models useful, all these different tools to solve different problems at different stages of the journey. 159 00:10:06,851.66666667 --> 00:10:10,491.66566667 And to me, it's like, okay, use the tool until it stops really good working for you. 160 00:10:10,876.66666667 --> 00:10:12,616.66666667 So you hit that wall, so you start spinning your wheels. 161 00:10:12,646.66666667 --> 00:10:12,966.66666667 Okay. 162 00:10:13,476.66666667 --> 00:10:14,716.66666667 This is no longer the problem anymore. 163 00:10:15,706.66666667 --> 00:10:17,946.66666667 What's the problem now? What's the next thing I need to fix? Okay, great. 164 00:10:17,946.66666667 --> 00:10:19,16.66666667 This tool hit that wall. 165 00:10:19,546.66666667 --> 00:10:20,286.66666667 This tool hit the wall. 166 00:10:20,716.66666667 --> 00:10:23,696.66666667 You just rearrange yourself through that process until you're done. 167 00:10:23,976.66666667 --> 00:10:24,936.66666667 Whatever done looks like for you. 168 00:10:26,476.66666667 --> 00:10:29,96.66566667 Now, part of what you talk about, and you mentioned baggage a minute ago. 169 00:10:29,336.66666667 --> 00:10:30,676.66566667 We all have things. 170 00:10:30,901.66666667 --> 00:10:34,461.66666667 That we've lived through that we carry with us, whether we want to or not. 171 00:10:35,81.66666667 --> 00:10:46,831.66566667 And I believe one of your approaches, they're more than welcome to, to question me on this, if I'm not getting it quite right, is to take the thing that's happened, that's functioning as baggage and separate. 172 00:10:47,201.66666667 --> 00:10:59,261.66666667 The event or the circumstance from the lesson that can be taken from it, because that's the more beneficial piece it, first of all, do I have that right? Is that the way that you talk about it? Think about it. 173 00:10:59,261.66666667 --> 00:11:00,1.66666667 And this is sort of me. 174 00:11:01,61.66666667 --> 00:11:01,331.66666667 Okay. 175 00:11:01,391.66666667 --> 00:11:03,741.66566667 So number one, I don't see it as baggage. 176 00:11:03,741.76566667 --> 00:11:09,201.66666667 This is why, why do we see as baggage is all this negative emotion and we don't like that. 177 00:11:09,201.66666667 --> 00:11:10,121.66666667 So it's heavy and we don't like it. 178 00:11:10,121.66666667 --> 00:11:10,701.66666667 We don't want to be here. 179 00:11:10,851.66666667 --> 00:11:12,641.66666667 Well, if emotions are just questions. 180 00:11:13,436.66666667 --> 00:11:13,846.66666667 True. 181 00:11:13,966.66666667 --> 00:11:14,786.66666667 It's not baggage. 182 00:11:14,966.66666667 --> 00:11:16,56.66666667 It's just a lesson you haven't learned yet. 183 00:11:18,86.66666667 --> 00:11:24,406.66666667 So the way I see this stuff is that your mind keeps on bringing this stuff up because it's saying, Hey, I haven't figured this out yet and I still need to figure this out. 184 00:11:25,736.66566667 --> 00:11:33,536.66666667 It's using these events as an example of a problem that's facing, right? If your emotional mind is looking at patterns over time, that's what it's looking at patterns. 185 00:11:34,206.66666667 --> 00:11:40,926.66666667 Narrows that run through stuff, right? It's the pattern recognition, recognition, pattern recognition machine that just drives like pretty much everything we do. 186 00:11:41,456.66666667 --> 00:11:41,886.66666667 Fair enough. 187 00:11:42,576.66666667 --> 00:11:43,946.66666667 It's saying, Hey, I'm seeing a pattern here. 188 00:11:44,266.66666667 --> 00:11:50,616.66666667 I need to understand this and he's saying who I am and how the world works so I can figure out how to navigate things like this, not the situation. 189 00:11:51,116.66666667 --> 00:11:52,46.66666667 The situation doesn't matter. 190 00:11:52,116.66666667 --> 00:11:52,876.66666667 The situation passed. 191 00:11:52,876.66666667 --> 00:11:53,866.66566667 Nothing you do about it. 192 00:11:54,556.66666667 --> 00:11:58,166.66666667 Understanding what it should have done then doesn't do anything for you because you're never going to be there again. 193 00:11:58,366.66666667 --> 00:11:59,936.66566667 Can't fix the old thing produces. 194 00:12:00,856.66666667 --> 00:12:11,586.66666667 What does it mean? What does it mean about who I am? What does it mean by how the world works? Once you understand that you're giving your mind, the information needs to do what to navigate anything like this. 195 00:12:13,236.66666667 --> 00:12:14,26.66666667 It's not baggage. 196 00:12:14,106.66666667 --> 00:12:15,316.66666667 It's things you haven't understood yet. 197 00:12:16,451.66666667 --> 00:12:16,751.66666667 Great. 198 00:12:17,31.66666667 --> 00:12:17,961.66666667 Focus on the lesson. 199 00:12:18,101.66666667 --> 00:12:34,921.66666667 What does this mean about who I am? Even if it is, even if, and especially if it's the things you don't like, the answers you don't like to hear, what does it mean about the world? Especially if it's things you don't like to hear, given this, how do I navigate challenges like this? But it's based on who you think you are. 200 00:12:35,71.66666667 --> 00:12:41,981.66666667 It's based on how you interpret the world, which means that if you're navigating places like I'm not good enough, you're going to navigate that challenge in one way. 201 00:12:42,821.66666667 --> 00:12:46,31.66666667 If you're navigating from, I am good enough, that's a very different way to move through things. 202 00:12:46,951.66666667 --> 00:12:48,541.66666667 Very different answers from the same situation. 203 00:12:49,171.66666667 --> 00:12:51,111.66666667 Right? Which is why this deep work is so important. 204 00:12:51,831.66666667 --> 00:12:55,201.66666667 Changing these ideas of who I am and how the world works at that deepest level. 205 00:12:56,71.66666667 --> 00:12:59,101.66666667 Understanding what those things really are because you don't have visibility into it usually. 206 00:13:00,1.66666667 --> 00:13:01,181.66566667 Right? Let's get down to truth. 207 00:13:02,561.66566667 --> 00:13:03,301.66666667 This is who I am. 208 00:13:03,711.66666667 --> 00:13:04,921.66666667 This is how that part of mine views me. 209 00:13:05,431.66666667 --> 00:13:06,541.66666667 This is why it views me this way. 210 00:13:06,571.66666667 --> 00:13:06,831.66616667 Great. 211 00:13:06,831.66616667 --> 00:13:07,611.66666667 Let's change that. 212 00:13:08,441.66566667 --> 00:13:08,801.66666667 Let's go from. 213 00:13:08,801.66666667 --> 00:13:09,901.66666667 I'm not good enough to where I am good enough. 214 00:13:09,941.66666667 --> 00:13:10,661.66666667 I don't deserve to. 215 00:13:10,661.66666667 --> 00:13:11,861.66666667 I do deserve something wrong with me. 216 00:13:11,861.66666667 --> 00:13:12,551.66666667 Nothing wrong with me. 217 00:13:13,421.66666667 --> 00:13:17,981.66666667 Move through the world very differently if that's the case and that's the game. 218 00:13:20,926.66666667 --> 00:13:27,466.66566667 And it is interesting thinking about how this applies to emotional things, because I can think through what you're talking about. 219 00:13:27,466.66566667 --> 00:13:31,776.66566667 And I had to mentally comes to mind, like the hot burner, right? Don't touch the hot burner. 220 00:13:31,836.66566667 --> 00:13:32,966.66566667 You're going to get burnt. 221 00:13:33,346.66666667 --> 00:13:34,966.66666667 It's very easy. 222 00:13:35,341.66666667 --> 00:13:43,431.66666667 To learn that lesson, to separate the circumstance from the outcome, to keep the lesson, to throw away the hot burner, but don't touch things that are hot. 223 00:13:44,121.66666667 --> 00:13:54,541.66666667 But once you get into that emotional territory, it is so hard to separate the circumstance, the situation from the lesson that we're supposed to take away. 224 00:13:54,991.66666667 --> 00:14:01,991.66666667 Why is it so hard once the emotions get involved? Again, the emotions aren't getting involved. 225 00:14:02,1.66666667 --> 00:14:02,301.66666667 That's it. 226 00:14:02,321.66666667 --> 00:14:03,991.66666667 That's, that's not the piece of it. 227 00:14:04,221.66666667 --> 00:14:04,631.66666667 Okay. 228 00:14:04,771.66666667 --> 00:14:06,1.66666667 Cause emotions are just questions. 229 00:14:07,481.66666667 --> 00:14:10,701.66666667 The reason it's so hard is because we interpret emotions as pain. 230 00:14:12,551.66666667 --> 00:14:16,511.66666667 Negative emotions are pain, right? What do you do with pain? You stay the heck away from it. 231 00:14:17,171.66666667 --> 00:14:17,781.66666667 You avoid it. 232 00:14:18,671.66666667 --> 00:14:19,91.66666667 You don't touch it. 233 00:14:19,451.66666667 --> 00:14:19,911.66666667 That hurt. 234 00:14:19,981.66666667 --> 00:14:20,641.66666667 Don't touch it. 235 00:14:22,491.66666667 --> 00:14:30,61.66666667 And because we've defined emotions as pain, our body and our mind are responding as if they are the same as physical pain. 236 00:14:32,651.66666667 --> 00:14:37,331.66666667 No wonder it's so hard to engage with it because every bit of ourselves is saying, don't freaking go there. 237 00:14:39,61.66666667 --> 00:14:43,491.66666667 Don't go there really hard to figure stuff out. 238 00:14:44,81.66666667 --> 00:14:44,811.66666667 But the thing is. 239 00:14:45,226.66666667 --> 00:14:47,926.66666667 Pain, if you burn your hand, what's wrong? Your hand's burned. 240 00:14:48,116.66666667 --> 00:14:49,846.66666667 Where are you supposed to look? At the thing that's burned. 241 00:14:49,906.66666667 --> 00:14:51,336.66666667 Why? Because that's the thing that's busted. 242 00:14:51,776.66666667 --> 00:14:55,276.66666667 The pain you feel is a signal that says, look here, the problem's here. 243 00:14:56,476.66566667 --> 00:14:58,526.66666667 So pain is actually saying, look here. 244 00:14:59,946.66666667 --> 00:15:07,286.66666667 Pain points the way to the problem, but that's only something you can do if you're willing to look at the pain. 245 00:15:08,766.66666667 --> 00:15:16,256.66666667 And the reason this stuff is so hard is because the pain is pointing at stuff in us and about us that we are praying to God ain't true. 246 00:15:16,996.66666667 --> 00:15:17,446.66666667 Yeah. 247 00:15:18,106.66666667 --> 00:15:26,536.66666667 And so in order to follow that pain where it goes, you have to accept that those things are actually true, even if, and especially if you've been trying to prove it wrong your entire life. 248 00:15:28,46.66666667 --> 00:15:29,456.66666667 That takes a heck of a lot of strength. 249 00:15:29,456.66666667 --> 00:15:31,976.66666667 That takes a lack a heck of a lot of humility to be able to do that. 250 00:15:32,926.66666667 --> 00:15:35,836.66666667 But the thing is, even if you don't think it's true, you maybe wish it wasn't true. 251 00:15:35,896.66666667 --> 00:15:40,496.66666667 And if you're trying to prove it wrong, your entire life is part of your mind is still operating as if it's true. 252 00:15:41,606.66666667 --> 00:15:42,776.66666667 So it's still true here. 253 00:15:44,196.66666667 --> 00:15:58,166.66666667 And the most important, the thing that just like locked, unlocked a lot of stuff for me is that you rationalize, you know, worried about individual events, individual problems, individual traumas, individual issues, your emotionalized looking at patterns over time, right? Trees. 254 00:15:58,701.66666667 --> 00:16:04,261.66666667 Forest, different perspectives on the same situation. 255 00:16:05,471.66666667 --> 00:16:09,71.66666667 And your mind is looking at things through both lenses simultaneously. 256 00:16:10,91.66666667 --> 00:16:13,351.66566667 It's actually looking at it in sequence, the pattern match machine works faster. 257 00:16:13,931.66566667 --> 00:16:15,451.66666667 So it reaches its conclusion first. 258 00:16:16,991.66566667 --> 00:16:17,721.66566667 I'm not good enough. 259 00:16:17,971.66666667 --> 00:16:18,301.66666667 Oh shoot. 260 00:16:18,301.66666667 --> 00:16:18,951.66566667 I got to prove it wrong. 261 00:16:20,621.66666667 --> 00:16:21,271.66566667 See how that works. 262 00:16:21,621.66666667 --> 00:16:22,691.66666667 Yeah, absolutely. 263 00:16:23,11.66666667 --> 00:16:23,901.66666667 I've proven this wrong. 264 00:16:23,931.66666667 --> 00:16:24,851.66666667 I've chopped down this tree. 265 00:16:24,861.66666667 --> 00:16:26,321.66666667 I'm still in the middle of a forest. 266 00:16:27,461.66666667 --> 00:16:27,801.66666667 Yeah. 267 00:16:27,811.66666667 --> 00:16:27,951.66666667 Right. 268 00:16:28,921.66666667 --> 00:16:30,171.66666667 And so the trick is to recognize. 269 00:16:30,916.66666667 --> 00:16:41,906.6666667 Both of these, both of these things are 100 percent true and correct at all times, even if, especially if they're different answers, because you're looking at things from different lenses, different perspectives, different tools. 270 00:16:42,786.6666667 --> 00:16:48,926.6656667 The trick is when there's that incongruity, when things don't agree, great, why both answers are true. 271 00:16:49,226.6666667 --> 00:16:50,116.6666667 Both answers are correct. 272 00:16:50,496.6666667 --> 00:16:53,146.6666667 I don't understand how this matches this. 273 00:16:54,356.6666667 --> 00:16:54,846.6666667 Start looking. 274 00:16:55,116.6666667 --> 00:17:02,896.6666667 What am I missing? What am I missing? Allow this to be true long enough to figure out why it's true. 275 00:17:04,266.6666667 --> 00:17:07,966.6666667 And once you understand the Shannon reason that gets you here, then you can do something about it. 276 00:17:09,266.6666667 --> 00:17:23,436.6666667 Then you can change this, but it requires the bravery and the humility to face the things you hate, face the things you don't like, face the things you wish weren't true and allow them to be true long enough to figure out why they're true. 277 00:17:25,76.6656667 --> 00:17:26,676.6666667 Now, when you talk about facing. 278 00:17:26,896.6666667 --> 00:17:27,556.6666667 Those things. 279 00:17:27,576.6666667 --> 00:17:34,436.6666667 I love the fact that you talk about courage and bravery, because I think those are the perfect words for, for what we're talking about. 280 00:17:35,496.6666667 --> 00:17:44,586.6666667 What are some of the common, I'm trying to choose my words carefully because I want to stay in the spirit of what we've talked about. 281 00:17:46,926.6656667 --> 00:17:52,656.6656667 Courage and bravery take different forms from different people based on different emotional situations. 282 00:17:53,376.6666667 --> 00:18:01,936.6666667 But we're all going to have different types of responses to what we're experiencing, whether it's physical or emotional or, or mental. 283 00:18:02,896.6666667 --> 00:18:07,986.6666667 I am sure some of those responses are more effective than others. 284 00:18:08,766.6666667 --> 00:18:25,161.6666667 Is there anything you can share about how we learn to respond, especially in the emotional realm, where either what's common But maybe not helpful or what's less common, something we can get you over time. 285 00:18:25,501.6666667 --> 00:18:29,881.6656667 If we invest in getting better at dealing with some of that discomfort. 286 00:18:30,471.6666667 --> 00:18:30,751.6666667 Sure. 287 00:18:31,51.6666667 --> 00:18:33,81.6666667 So number one, all of them are equally effective. 288 00:18:34,61.6666667 --> 00:18:36,311.6666667 All of them are 100 percent equally effective. 289 00:18:36,671.6656667 --> 00:18:39,576.5666667 Every single response you have is the single most effective. 290 00:18:40,36.6666667 --> 00:18:40,396.6666667 Response. 291 00:18:40,396.6666667 --> 00:18:41,326.6666667 You can have in that moment. 292 00:18:41,876.6666667 --> 00:18:49,336.6666667 Once you understand everything's going on, part of the difficulty is we identify with consciousness, rationality, especially in the West. 293 00:18:50,86.6666667 --> 00:18:51,66.6661667 You've got the subconscious mind. 294 00:18:51,66.6661667 --> 00:18:52,686.6666667 This is black box, mysterious space. 295 00:18:52,726.6656667 --> 00:18:54,366.6666667 That's just throwing stuff at you that you don't like. 296 00:18:54,636.6666667 --> 00:18:57,556.6656667 So we tend to not identify with this because it's not what we like. 297 00:18:58,256.6666667 --> 00:19:00,666.6666667 But the thing is you are all of that, probably more. 298 00:19:01,101.6666667 --> 00:19:09,471.6656667 Your consciousness, rational mind, emotional mind, your neurochemistry, your physical body circuit, and spiritually talk about like emotional bodies and souls and all this other stuff. 299 00:19:09,491.6656667 --> 00:19:11,591.6666667 You are all of that combined and probably more. 300 00:19:12,691.6666667 --> 00:19:14,601.6666667 So part of this is an issue of perspective. 301 00:19:15,371.6656667 --> 00:19:17,691.6656667 You're viewing it from this lens and judging things from this lens. 302 00:19:18,581.6666667 --> 00:19:32,631.6656667 And if we're not taking into account this broader view and all these other needs that are needing to get met, the difficulty with a lot of stuff is not understanding how the totality of you, what it wants, what it needs, because you're not getting what you want. 303 00:19:32,641.6656667 --> 00:19:33,961.6656667 You're getting what you need on a deeper level. 304 00:19:34,586.6666667 --> 00:19:34,976.6666667 Step one. 305 00:19:36,96.6666667 --> 00:19:44,946.6666667 Step two is to recognize that the biggest thing that our minds are protecting us from is that emotional pain, because it is the biggest threat to our life. 306 00:19:44,946.7666667 --> 00:19:50,286.6666667 The reason why is if you're in too much pain, you don't want to live anymore. 307 00:19:52,906.6666667 --> 00:19:58,146.6666667 Drugs, alcohol abuse, suicide, over 300, 000 people died in the United States in 2023. 308 00:19:58,686.6656667 --> 00:20:01,146.6666667 Over 300, 000 people died because of how they felt. 309 00:20:01,716.6666667 --> 00:20:02,406.6666667 Emotions kill. 310 00:20:03,36.6666667 --> 00:20:04,316.6666667 You're defining them as pain. 311 00:20:04,966.6666667 --> 00:20:06,766.6666667 So if it's pain, you're too much pain, you die. 312 00:20:08,116.6666667 --> 00:20:11,96.6666667 So your mind is always protecting you from emotional pain. 313 00:20:12,981.6666667 --> 00:20:15,551.6666667 The threat that's protecting you from can be very different. 314 00:20:17,131.6666667 --> 00:20:23,381.6656667 If you're one of these high succeeders, high, you know, high power succeeders, where you like got that Batman origin story, you got that thing that you're going for, and you're just like rocking and rolling. 315 00:20:23,691.6666667 --> 00:20:26,71.6666667 What are you doing? You're running from the pain of that origin story. 316 00:20:27,991.6666667 --> 00:20:28,291.6666667 Right. 317 00:20:28,671.6666667 --> 00:20:40,311.6666667 Now, a lot of what our mind is doing is protecting us from situations that are going to bring up and highlight the things about us that we don't like the pain of, Oh, I miss push that insecurity. 318 00:20:40,311.6666667 --> 00:20:40,491.6661667 Great. 319 00:20:40,491.6661667 --> 00:20:44,381.6666667 I'm going to stay, keep you away from any situation that's going to push this button because you're dangerous. 320 00:20:46,61.6656667 --> 00:20:51,261.6656667 And the more negative stuff we've been through, especially when I was young, the more powerful that need to avoid this pain is. 321 00:20:52,491.6656667 --> 00:21:01,721.6666667 That's why you see a lot of people that are really high performers are rocking and rolling, kicking butt, taking names, just at the top of the game, have a really hard time acknowledging all the other parts of life that are missed. 322 00:21:02,306.6666667 --> 00:21:07,476.6666667 Yeah, they have time acknowledging their flaws because it's too much of a threat to that identity and that ego. 323 00:21:09,56.6666667 --> 00:21:25,771.6666667 So the question is, what's the most painful thing? What's the most painful thing for you to face? Is it the idea that maybe I'm not as good as I think I am, right? Or is it if I take this shot and I miss? It proves that I'm not good enough, I'm flawed, whatever. 324 00:21:26,711.6666667 --> 00:21:31,321.6666667 Those are the people that just can't take that shot because the consequence of failure is too high. 325 00:21:34,541.6666667 --> 00:21:56,366.6666667 For me, courage and bravery comes down to making the decision to go after something in spite of the pain, right? And often it's in support of a bigger thing, right? So if you think about like, say, combat war, right, why in the world would a guy like charge a machine gun nest? That is a dumbest thing you could do. 326 00:21:56,976.6666667 --> 00:21:58,666.6666667 That's stupid on so many levels. 327 00:21:58,666.6666667 --> 00:22:00,236.6666667 It's not even, it's, it's, it's comprehensible. 328 00:22:00,236.6666667 --> 00:22:09,516.6656667 So why? Because it's less painful to do that and let his buddies down to let the mission fail and fail in that duty he's created for himself. 329 00:22:11,286.6666667 --> 00:22:14,946.6666667 It's easier to charge a machine gun nest than live with the fact that you're a coward. 330 00:22:15,876.6656667 --> 00:22:16,616.6666667 See how that works. 331 00:22:17,146.6666667 --> 00:22:19,986.6666667 I would rather die charging a machine gun nest than fail this identity. 332 00:22:21,166.6666667 --> 00:22:22,426.6666667 That makes it incredibly real. 333 00:22:22,436.6666667 --> 00:22:23,406.6666667 Yeah, man. 334 00:22:23,466.6666667 --> 00:22:23,746.6666667 Yeah. 335 00:22:23,786.6666667 --> 00:22:27,891.5666667 But for me, the reason why I did this work was I got to a point in my life where life wasn't worth living anymore. 336 00:22:29,61.6666667 --> 00:22:29,881.6666667 Couldn't get what I needed. 337 00:22:30,511.6666667 --> 00:22:31,861.6666667 And I was, I was, I was suffering. 338 00:22:31,881.6666667 --> 00:22:33,711.6666667 I was like, I'm done starving myself to death. 339 00:22:33,731.6666667 --> 00:22:34,521.6666667 I am done suffering. 340 00:22:35,361.6666667 --> 00:22:38,761.6666667 I will do whatever the hell it takes to fix myself. 341 00:22:39,501.6666667 --> 00:22:40,671.6666667 And I don't care what it is. 342 00:22:41,591.6666667 --> 00:22:43,701.6666667 So I just went to where I did every fricking thing under the sun. 343 00:22:44,411.6666667 --> 00:22:47,281.5666667 I did all those, all those, I did all of them. 344 00:22:47,361.6666667 --> 00:22:48,291.6666667 I did all of them. 345 00:22:48,471.6656667 --> 00:22:48,971.6666667 I don't care. 346 00:22:48,991.6666667 --> 00:22:49,571.6656667 I will do all of it. 347 00:22:49,911.6666667 --> 00:22:52,171.6666667 And all of it helped all the movement of the needle forward. 348 00:22:53,176.6666667 --> 00:22:59,676.6666667 Couldn't get me across that finish line, which is why I had to do all this deep analysis, deep understanding the mind and figure all this stuff out. 349 00:22:59,676.6666667 --> 00:23:01,496.6666667 So I figured out what the problem really was. 350 00:23:01,766.6666667 --> 00:23:02,106.6666667 Yeah. 351 00:23:02,156.6666667 --> 00:23:06,466.6666667 I could fix it and I could be done so I could actually get the stuff I need in life. 352 00:23:06,806.6666667 --> 00:23:12,456.6666667 So that life would be living, figure this out, put a bullet in my head, no other option, do or die. 353 00:23:12,916.6656667 --> 00:23:15,726.6666667 Things get real simple from the side situation. 354 00:23:16,216.6666667 --> 00:23:17,736.6666667 So it's also like, it's not bravery. 355 00:23:17,816.6666667 --> 00:23:20,226.6666667 It's a, uh, it's just a choice. 356 00:23:20,226.6666667 --> 00:23:23,226.6666667 It's like, I will do this no matter what, and I don't care what's in the way. 357 00:23:24,1.6666667 --> 00:23:31,391.6666667 Cause it's going to kill me either way, either I die trying or I die, don't try and only, but this thing here gives me a chance of not dying. 358 00:23:32,41.6666667 --> 00:23:32,461.6666667 Right. 359 00:23:32,471.6656667 --> 00:23:37,111.6666667 So I'll take that chance no matter how small, that's better than giving up. 360 00:23:38,121.6666667 --> 00:23:42,401.6656667 Now you talked earlier about two very different ways to go through life. 361 00:23:42,886.6666667 --> 00:23:43,576.6666667 I am worthy. 362 00:23:43,596.6666667 --> 00:23:44,586.6666667 I am not worthy. 363 00:23:45,56.6666667 --> 00:23:46,366.6666667 I am in a good place. 364 00:23:46,366.6666667 --> 00:23:47,296.6666667 I am in a bad place. 365 00:23:47,306.6666667 --> 00:23:56,306.6666667 All these polar opposites and they change how we process what we see, how we process what we experience, how we respond to things near the end of the book. 366 00:23:56,316.6656667 --> 00:23:59,996.6666667 You have a really interesting section about changing the question. 367 00:24:00,356.6666667 --> 00:24:06,726.6656667 And really the idea is trying to get towards those positive versions of those different things. 368 00:24:07,871.6666667 --> 00:24:16,431.6666667 Questions moving people that if, if you want to have the more positive experience, how do you reframe things for yourself so that you say. 369 00:24:16,836.6666667 --> 00:24:17,596.6666667 I am worthy. 370 00:24:17,646.6666667 --> 00:24:18,946.6666667 I deserve a happy outcome. 371 00:24:19,26.6666667 --> 00:24:21,246.6666667 You know, I want to get to the place where I feel better. 372 00:24:22,596.6666667 --> 00:24:36,566.6666667 Can you share a little bit of advice about how we can start to take control of that process and get towards those positive questions? That's a really good, that's a really hard question because fundamentally you can't. 373 00:24:37,396.6666667 --> 00:24:37,706.6666667 Okay. 374 00:24:37,796.6666667 --> 00:24:41,186.6666667 If you're not already there, if that's not already truth for you, that's not true. 375 00:24:42,236.6666667 --> 00:24:45,266.6666667 And so essentially what you're trying to do is prove that thing to be true. 376 00:24:45,676.6666667 --> 00:24:47,906.6666667 But the only things we have to prove is I think that we don't believe. 377 00:24:49,696.6666667 --> 00:24:53,846.6666667 If you believe in God, you have to prove it and no proof to the contrary matters. 378 00:24:54,646.6666667 --> 00:24:58,56.6666667 So beliefs are things that are true with that evidence in spite of the evidence of contrary. 379 00:24:58,656.6666667 --> 00:25:05,776.6666667 So if you need evidence, it ain't true and your mind judges true and false based on what are our beliefs, which means it's ignoring all evidence is wrong. 380 00:25:07,266.6656667 --> 00:25:09,266.6656667 What I will say is awareness is key. 381 00:25:10,376.6656667 --> 00:25:16,546.6666667 If you are aware of that incongruity, yeah, now you can start playing with it because you can accept that this is true. 382 00:25:16,616.6666667 --> 00:25:16,896.6666667 Great. 383 00:25:16,926.6666667 --> 00:25:18,806.6666667 Now you can figure out, start figuring out why this is true. 384 00:25:19,901.6666667 --> 00:25:23,101.6666667 But because the problem is at the upper level of mind, that's where it's got to be fixed. 385 00:25:23,901.6666667 --> 00:25:25,311.6666667 But once you accept that, that's true. 386 00:25:25,781.6666667 --> 00:25:26,891.6666667 Now, something interesting happens. 387 00:25:27,256.6666667 --> 00:25:33,436.6666667 Now you can work with your mind instead of fight it right now you can start working together for a solution. 388 00:25:33,696.6666667 --> 00:25:34,666.6666667 That's incredibly important. 389 00:25:36,236.6666667 --> 00:25:42,106.6666667 One of the biggest reasons your mind doesn't let you change it on its own is like, number one, if you guys are fighting, it doesn't trust you. 390 00:25:42,506.6666667 --> 00:25:42,886.6666667 Yeah. 391 00:25:43,726.6666667 --> 00:25:44,576.6666667 So I would let you change it. 392 00:25:45,256.6666667 --> 00:25:50,866.6666667 And all the changes you want to make are to allow yourself to do things that it thinks is bad, wrong, or dangerous in some way. 393 00:25:51,306.6666667 --> 00:25:57,776.6666667 So why would it let you change it? But something interesting happens once you start listening to it. 394 00:25:58,86.6666667 --> 00:25:59,306.6666667 Now you start cooperating more. 395 00:26:00,236.6666667 --> 00:26:01,126.6666667 Now there's more trust. 396 00:26:01,926.6666667 --> 00:26:04,681.5666667 Now there's more space to open up room for you to do more stuff. 397 00:26:05,271.6666667 --> 00:26:05,441.6666667 Right. 398 00:26:05,471.6666667 --> 00:26:06,371.6666667 And that's a beautiful thing. 399 00:26:07,301.6666667 --> 00:26:07,491.6666667 Right. 400 00:26:07,871.6666667 --> 00:26:12,921.6666667 But understand that you're clearing out trees in the forest, haven't changed the things from the forest perspective. 401 00:26:13,221.6666667 --> 00:26:13,711.6666667 True. 402 00:26:14,781.6666667 --> 00:26:18,371.6666667 You got a big box in your head, label on the side says there's that I'm not good enough. 403 00:26:18,531.6666667 --> 00:26:19,591.6666667 There's a million things that box. 404 00:26:20,181.6666667 --> 00:26:20,411.6666667 Great. 405 00:26:20,421.6666667 --> 00:26:22,411.6666667 You're taking a lot of stuff out of the box to put in a different box. 406 00:26:22,411.6666667 --> 00:26:22,921.6666667 That's beautiful. 407 00:26:23,551.6666667 --> 00:26:24,631.6656667 But there's a million things in there. 408 00:26:24,761.6656667 --> 00:26:25,121.6656667 More stuff. 409 00:26:25,121.6656667 --> 00:26:25,831.6666667 It's sad all the time. 410 00:26:25,891.6666667 --> 00:26:26,921.6666667 That process never ends. 411 00:26:27,641.6666667 --> 00:26:29,981.6666667 Healing is a lifelong journey, right? Yeah. 412 00:26:30,731.6666667 --> 00:26:31,781.6666667 But there's a label on the box. 413 00:26:32,361.6666667 --> 00:26:33,421.6666667 It says, I don't, I'm not good enough. 414 00:26:33,801.6666667 --> 00:26:36,191.6666667 I take that off, put on a new label, says I am good enough. 415 00:26:36,691.6666667 --> 00:26:38,971.6666667 Now everything being in the box means I'm good enough and you're done with it. 416 00:26:40,661.6666667 --> 00:26:47,791.6666667 Why not just finish it up? But you can only do that once you're willing to face all this stuff and accept all this stuff and make that decision to really go deep. 417 00:26:48,651.6666667 --> 00:26:54,501.6656667 And that's when you can actually get somebody like me to guide you that process, to act as that neutral third party negotiator. 418 00:26:55,576.6666667 --> 00:26:59,306.6666667 You're a CEO of a company, company's on strike, they're unionized, can't fire them. 419 00:26:59,606.6666667 --> 00:26:59,986.6666667 Right. 420 00:27:00,546.6666667 --> 00:27:05,76.6666667 What do you gotta do? Gotta get somebody else to come in, figure out what the real problem is, address the real problem. 421 00:27:05,536.6666667 --> 00:27:06,976.6666667 Negotiate that solution on your behalf. 422 00:27:07,606.6666667 --> 00:27:10,106.6666667 One of the most frustrating thing is about my process, about my journey. 423 00:27:10,106.6666667 --> 00:27:11,196.6666667 It was like, I knew exactly what was wrong. 424 00:27:11,866.6666667 --> 00:27:12,266.6666667 Exactly. 425 00:27:12,266.6666667 --> 00:27:13,346.6666667 What was exactly how to fix it. 426 00:27:13,396.6666667 --> 00:27:14,386.6666667 My mom was like, nope, not allowed. 427 00:27:14,469.4699091 --> 00:27:18,536.6666667 I had to hire other people to fix me. 428 00:27:19,520.9704971 --> 00:27:20,616.6656667 But it's kind of like going to the doctor. 429 00:27:20,726.6656667 --> 00:27:21,646.6656667 It's like, I need surgery. 430 00:27:21,646.6656667 --> 00:27:21,816.6656667 Great. 431 00:27:21,846.6656667 --> 00:27:22,796.6656667 Can I do that for myself? Nope. 432 00:27:23,176.6666667 --> 00:27:23,456.6666667 Yeah. 433 00:27:23,456.7666667 --> 00:27:32,56.6656667 Well, you can't like, how do you do brains? You're good luck, right? But your job is just to realize, Oh, I need surgery. 434 00:27:32,566.6656667 --> 00:27:32,736.6656667 That's it. 435 00:27:33,636.6656667 --> 00:27:34,496.6656667 Decide to go to the doctor. 436 00:27:34,891.6666667 --> 00:27:35,681.6666667 Decide to have that surgery. 437 00:27:36,1.6666667 --> 00:27:36,681.6666667 Your job's done. 438 00:27:37,111.6666667 --> 00:27:37,551.6666667 It's up to him. 439 00:27:38,121.6666667 --> 00:27:38,591.6666667 Right. 440 00:27:38,611.6666667 --> 00:27:39,571.6666667 He's the only one that can do it. 441 00:27:40,581.6666667 --> 00:27:51,751.6656667 You know what I mean? Now we have a tradition here, Brian, and I'm going to make the decision on the spot because I'm the host and I get to do what I want to throw the tradition out of the water. 442 00:27:51,751.6666667 --> 00:28:06,371.6666667 Typically I'm asking people about heroism in a, in a business context and, and sourcing, but I want to take the opportunity of talking to you to ask something slightly different, but I think in the same spirit, you spoke at the very beginning of the conversation about recognizing. 443 00:28:07,761.6666667 --> 00:28:09,731.6666667 The world did not want to be saved. 444 00:28:10,761.6666667 --> 00:28:26,561.6666667 We've talked about a lot of work that you have done that people might want to do on their own behalf that I think is in the direction of saving themselves, even if the world at large does not want to be saved, how. 445 00:28:26,776.6666667 --> 00:28:41,646.6666667 How should we start to think about the idea of heroism with regard to ourselves? Because typically I'm asking people about heroism and they're saying, Oh, you know, do the right thing even if nobody is looking or step in and help where you can. 446 00:28:41,656.6656667 --> 00:28:42,586.6666667 Don't worry about credit. 447 00:28:42,586.6666667 --> 00:28:43,676.6656667 Just do what needs to be done. 448 00:28:44,46.6666667 --> 00:28:46,266.6666667 That always involves other people. 449 00:28:46,716.6656667 --> 00:28:54,271.6666667 How should we start to think about heroism in a simply first person, one person context? Well, it's very simple. 450 00:28:54,281.6666667 --> 00:28:55,211.6666667 Bravery and heroism. 451 00:28:56,261.6666667 --> 00:28:57,471.6666667 It's not about not being afraid. 452 00:28:57,871.6666667 --> 00:29:01,81.6666667 It's not about doing the right thing when nobody's looking, doing the right thing when nobody's looking is integrity. 453 00:29:01,401.6666667 --> 00:29:01,591.6666667 Yeah. 454 00:29:01,661.6656667 --> 00:29:04,301.6666667 Helping out how you can is like recognizing the limits of your reach and control. 455 00:29:04,971.6666667 --> 00:29:05,401.6666667 Fair enough. 456 00:29:05,421.6666667 --> 00:29:05,691.6666667 Right. 457 00:29:06,711.6666667 --> 00:29:10,581.6666667 Heroism and bravery is being absolutely fricking terrified and doing it. 458 00:29:10,581.6666667 --> 00:29:16,21.6666667 Anyway, heroism bravery is saying, I choose to face this. 459 00:29:16,101.6656667 --> 00:29:17,11.6666667 I have made the decision. 460 00:29:17,91.6666667 --> 00:29:17,771.6666667 I will face this. 461 00:29:18,431.6666667 --> 00:29:19,221.6666667 I have made the decision. 462 00:29:19,381.6666667 --> 00:29:20,11.6666667 I'm going that way. 463 00:29:20,41.6666667 --> 00:29:21,481.6666667 And I do not care what the hell is in the way. 464 00:29:23,131.6666667 --> 00:29:24,541.6656667 I don't care how much I have to suffer. 465 00:29:24,561.6656667 --> 00:29:26,261.6666667 I don't care how much I have to be afraid. 466 00:29:26,291.6666667 --> 00:29:28,651.6666667 I don't care what kind of pain I have to go through. 467 00:29:28,711.6666667 --> 00:29:34,321.6666667 I am going there because the interesting thing is the price we pay for something is completely irrelevant. 468 00:29:35,901.6666667 --> 00:29:37,501.6666667 How much something costs is completely irrelevant. 469 00:29:37,681.6666667 --> 00:29:38,71.6666667 Yeah. 470 00:29:38,251.6666667 --> 00:29:39,121.6656667 There's only one question. 471 00:29:39,381.6666667 --> 00:29:50,486.6666667 Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Because if you're willing to pay the price, you can get anything you want in life if you're willing to pay the price. 472 00:29:51,686.6666667 --> 00:29:54,706.6666667 But if you want something really valuable, the price is often very high. 473 00:29:55,526.6666667 --> 00:30:00,156.6666667 If you want freedom, if you want truth, if you want to be everything you could potentially ever be. 474 00:30:02,351.6666667 --> 00:30:02,711.6666667 Hold on. 475 00:30:03,251.6666667 --> 00:30:03,731.6666667 Yeah. 476 00:30:03,901.6666667 --> 00:30:05,71.6666667 That's going to be some work. 477 00:30:05,131.6666667 --> 00:30:06,11.6666667 Big price tag. 478 00:30:06,301.6666667 --> 00:30:12,1.6666667 That, that can be a big price tag, but often because it's the work I do, it's not painful because we're just talking about stories. 479 00:30:12,261.6666667 --> 00:30:12,681.6666667 Yes. 480 00:30:12,811.6666667 --> 00:30:13,11.6666667 Right. 481 00:30:13,11.6666667 --> 00:30:14,501.6666667 We're not dealing with, you don't have to relive us. 482 00:30:14,511.6666667 --> 00:30:15,311.6656667 That's a completely irrelevant. 483 00:30:15,361.6666667 --> 00:30:16,221.6656667 We just need to know the story. 484 00:30:17,721.6656667 --> 00:30:24,451.6666667 The most painful part, biggest price you need to pay is paying the price of killing your idea of who you are. 485 00:30:27,131.7291667 --> 00:30:28,331.7291667 You have the story of, Oh, I'm this. 486 00:30:28,331.7291667 --> 00:30:29,991.7291667 And I came through this and this is what this is. 487 00:30:30,81.7291667 --> 00:30:32,601.7291667 If this was true, you wouldn't have any problems because you would have fixed it by now. 488 00:30:33,811.7291667 --> 00:30:36,921.7291667 Therefore that's a lie in whole or in part at best. 489 00:30:36,921.7291667 --> 00:30:37,541.7281667 It's incomplete. 490 00:30:39,21.7281667 --> 00:30:48,81.7291667 Are you willing to pay the price of letting go who you believe yourself to be or become who you truly are? Cause you're willing to do that. 491 00:30:48,791.7281667 --> 00:30:49,551.7281667 Everything's possible. 492 00:30:50,51.7281667 --> 00:30:50,801.7281667 Just a matter of time. 493 00:30:51,581.7291667 --> 00:30:51,661.7291667 Yeah. 494 00:30:51,661.8291667 --> 00:30:58,181.7291667 Figuring out what the problem is, doing the work, suffering enough, long enough to get there. 495 00:30:59,981.7281667 --> 00:31:00,771.7281667 It's really that simple. 496 00:31:02,251.7291667 --> 00:31:05,91.7291667 Now, Ryan, you've given us a ton to think about today. 497 00:31:05,91.7291667 --> 00:31:07,621.7291667 We talked a little bit about your book in the opening. 498 00:31:08,221.7291667 --> 00:31:16,701.7291667 If people are discovering you through this conversation, would like to connect, would like to learn more, what is the best way for them to reach out to you and to get more information? Sure. 499 00:31:16,951.7291667 --> 00:31:23,781.7291667 Well, I would say, start with the book, because again, this is everything I do the whole theory of this whole thing process, start to finish everything that I can give you in a book format. 500 00:31:23,801.7291667 --> 00:31:24,191.7291667 It's there. 501 00:31:24,411.7291667 --> 00:31:27,761.7291667 I try and give you as much of this journey to get you this destination as I possibly can. 502 00:31:27,941.7281667 --> 00:31:32,161.7291667 Winner piece, how to end in a conflict, make success now, though on Amazon, all the different formats. 503 00:31:32,781.7281667 --> 00:31:38,861.6291667 Once you've made that decision to really go deep, once you're ready to take that step, my website is www. 504 00:31:38,861.7291667 --> 00:31:39,261.7291667 ryanthehypnotist. 505 00:31:39,261.7291667 --> 00:31:45,551.7291667 com offer free 45 minute conversations, uh, consultations, sit down and take a look at what's going on in your life, what's working, what's not. 506 00:31:46,46.7291667 --> 00:31:47,656.7291667 I'll show you why those things are happening. 507 00:31:47,716.7291667 --> 00:31:48,986.7291667 So you actually have that understanding. 508 00:31:49,526.7291667 --> 00:31:52,846.7291667 And then we'll talk about how to get you to that place where you're actually free. 509 00:31:53,636.7291667 --> 00:31:57,86.7291667 And ultimately what I do is I deliver a set of beliefs that are essentially go like this. 510 00:31:57,406.7291667 --> 00:31:58,306.7291667 There's nothing wrong with me. 511 00:31:58,496.7291667 --> 00:31:59,156.7281667 There never was. 512 00:32:00,236.7291667 --> 00:32:04,296.7291667 There's nothing to heal, and there never was, because emotions aren't pain, they don't cut from wounds. 513 00:32:05,726.7291667 --> 00:32:10,176.7291667 I'm good enough as I am to deserve whatever I choose, and I don't have to prove it to anybody, not even myself. 514 00:32:11,126.7291667 --> 00:32:13,656.7291667 And that is an incredibly powerful place to move from. 515 00:32:16,390.8201776 --> 00:32:19,850.8201776 Thank you for listening to this episode of the Sourcing Hero podcast. 516 00:32:20,650.8201776 --> 00:32:27,340.8201776 Join us again next time for more true stories of sourcing and business heroism performed by your colleagues and peers. 517 00:32:28,300.8201776 --> 00:32:33,30.8201776 Look for The Sourcing Hero wherever you get your podcasts and don't forget to subscribe. 518 00:32:33,940.8191776 --> 00:32:40,0.8201776 Finally, don't forget, sourcing heroism is taking place all around us every day. 519 00:32:40,810.8201776 --> 00:32:43,160.8201776 Keep your eyes open and you're bound to see it. 520 00:32:43,675.8201776 --> 00:32:46,875.7201776 Until next time, I'm your host Kelly Barner. 521 00:32:46,875.8201776 --> 00:32:50,585.8201776 Stay well and always remember that you can be a hero too.