I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando. But we've been friends for over 40 years. And grew up together in the San Fernando Valley. These are the stories of our experiences as adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from back in the day. And don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us, all we ask is that you
let us have it your way. Dude, how is that in my brain? I- was that Burger King? I don't remember that, was that- Have it your way. N-n- To all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, sesame seed, bun. That's McDonald's, right? Or is that Burger King too? Ah, I think that was... To all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and sesame seed, bun. I think that
was... That's a Big Mac. That's gotta be McDonald's. It's gotta be McDonald's, yeah. Cause it's to all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese. Yeah, special sauce is Big Mac. Special sauce is Big Mac. You can't do it. If it's a special sauce... How are these things in my head? You know what? Oh, because you watched 8 billion commercials. All we did in that day was watch TV. But that just goes to show you how marketing fucks with you. And now it's
in our face all the time we're holding it. And they're not only the marketing test, they know who we are, what we like, what we buy. And then they're sending us the commercials. By the way, now that we're talking about fast food and our phones are in our, you know, reasonable proximity. Which is in our butts, which is reasonable proximity. Yeah, my phone's always in my butt. That's why I keep it. Now we're gonna get in our feed for. whatever, Facebook or MySpace
or whatever. I'm gonna get Burger King commercials. Yeah, tons of them. And butt stuff. Which go together, Burger King and butt stuff. Yeah, butt stuff. Because what happens after you eat Burger King? Okay, wait. A lot of butt stuff. When you were a kid, what was your favorite burger joint? William fast food burger. Because we didn't go to real, there was no, like you couldn't go to HiHo Burger and get a Wagyu burger. No. You had to have the, Jesus Christ almighty.
And it was awful. I mean, I remember seeing not that long ago where they were like really dug into what McDonald's was putting into their burgers and it was like byproduct and like filler to the max and it was disgusting, gnarly, pink goo. Now, when you were a kid, which disgusting gnarly pink goo burger was your favorite? It was always just a McDonald's cheeseburger. My dad... Wait, you didn't do the quarter No, I just didn't have the capacity. I couldn't
handle I couldn't Did you do two cheeseburgers? I know usually one cheeseburger, but here's why I got a reason. I got a reason. No, no, because I go big on the fries. This is before supersizing large fry supersizing came in the 80s. By the way, when you say large fry, I want a large fry. To me, that's incorrect. I would drive if one fry be one big ass fucking fun like the size of a fucking Louisville slot or even Yeah, that's a good size. Yeah. Large
fry. Even if it wasn't, let's say I could take a large for like one large fry. That's the size of like a big corn on the cob. Yeah. That just doesn't seem like enough though. If I'm gonna order I want large fries. That's larger than a potato! But not a large fry. I want a small fry. Well it's a fucking, it's a fry the size of a green rice. So when you went through a drive-thru, did you say I want a large fries? I want large fries. Did you say that?
You didn't say that. Well not when I was six! My dad was ordering so I wasn't. Don't, don't go spilling. Here was my meal. Here was my meal. My dad would take us through the drive-thru. to get McDonald's and then we go to the airport. What did your grandma get? Cancer. She actually didn't. She just, I don't know what she died of. Oh my God. She died. Oh my God, you were going to hell. She was already in the convalescent home. I was like six. So
I don't know what she died of. You don't remember. Here's what I think your grandmother got. A filet of fish sandwich. Probably got lodged at her esophagus. You know, like the bones from the fish. She got a bone from the filet-o-fish sandwich. That wasn't real cod. It was fish flavoring. But yes, she had a filet-o-fish. It was a liquid fish. They were so whipped that it didn't matter. They just whipped the fish byproducts into this material. By the
way, you know this, but there was a secret menu at McDonald's. You could get a whipped fish sandwich and a fish shake. It was a cod shake. A fish shake. Right. I love their fish shakes. They're delicious. Yeah, that was fantastic. You get a big glob of fish caught in the straw. I have a fish shake. Oh, God, dude. Okay, so your grandmother would go to the airport? Why
are we taking your grandma to the airport all the time? Get rid of grandma? No, my grandma was in a convalescent home, so my dad would go pick up my grandma, get her out for a while, and... My dad my grandma and me my brother would go to McDonald's and then get McDonald's and go over to the airport And just watch the planes and when you when you went to do this, what did you order? I was a cheeseburger was wasn't a happy meal. No because you wanted to large
they had happy meals back Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I don't remember getting an early I think my parents might have thought that the happy meal was just a fucking ruse. It was a ruse. Yeah So instead they're like fuck that just get the food. You don't need the fucking toy. You do need the toy I did but I didn't get it. Yeah, so early on it was cheeseburger um large fries Stupid but here's the thing. Here's where I went deep and this is why I
got coke Cocaine. Yes, I got them. I got I got the mcdonald's cocaine also on the secret mcdonald's menu They would just give you a little bag of cocaine what to give tell me i'm curious You got, you went deep. Chocolate shake. Oh. I wouldn't go with a soft drink. I was a shake dude. I was shaking it. I was shaking it heavy. You were a shaker? Yeah, I went shake, shake heavy. I was not a shaker, especially not a McDonald's. Unless it was March. L. Why? The Shamrock.
Shamrock, motherfucking shake. That was, you know what? That was insane. I can taste it right now. Oh, it was so good. The best, wait, I'm not even, I'm not gonna mince words. Don't mince them. There is no shake. on the planet anywhere by made by anybody. Yeah, better than a shamrock. I love me a shamrock shake. Every time those shamrock shakes came out, I was so excited to get a shamrock shake. I didn't think it was like a long time and then they
brought it back. And they brought it back, yeah. And you know what else they got rid of for a long time and brought it back? Wait, wait, I know. The McDonald's. Monte Cristo sandwich. That would be amazing. No, it was the McRib sandwich. The first time I ordered a McRib, I remember it well, actually. I ordered a McRib sandwich and I was like, even I, as a child, was thoroughly disgusted by the McRib sandwich. The flavor, the texture. No, no, it was the
texture. The flavor. No, the flavor too. Flavor is not good. No, the flavor was not good. But the texture. You know what it was? It was pressed fake byproduct. So here. Wasn't even real byproduct. My experience. I would have preferred byproduct. Oh, you would have called for, asked for it by name. But. May I have some byproduct? The McRib, the texture was very much like if you went to the 99 cent store and you bought a kitchen sponge. Yeah. And you soaked it in water. And
then you put barbecue sauce on it. You put barbecue sauce, yeah, okay, that's fine. You got some liquid on it. And then you let it sit in the sun for about three years. And then you chewed on it. That's the consistency. It was so disgusting. I mean, I remember wanting to puke. It was so disgusting. The fact that they got rid of it was great. Yeah, but they brought it back. And then they brought it back, which was not great. Yeah, no, they brought it back. I never,
I mean, I had it that one time when I was a kid and then that was it. But McDonald's, okay, so let me tell you my order. Yeah, what'd you get when you were a kid? I mean, I loved me a Happy Meal. Back in the 70s. I loved me a Happy Meal. I was willing to concede the amount of French fries for the toy. I would prefer- Do you remember what kind of toy you would get back then? Yeah, they were little plastic, little, who cares? It was a toy, you had a
toy in your meal. My meal came in a box. Well, I hope it didn't come in the meal. Like, the plastic toy's not in the burger. Even if it was, I don't care. I'd choke on the fucking toy. There was a toy in the box, the box itself. was a toy. You could cut stuff out of the box and do shit with it. There were puzzles on the outside and the inside. I would prefer that
and always, always at McDonald's. Always. The Coke. And here's why. McDonald's and I don't know what it is better than Coca-Cola from anywhere Everybody talks about the Mexican coke got a Mexican coke's best coke. They're doing so the coke McDonald's cokes through the giant fucking fatty straws that they would give you why are there straws something about that? I must have been the mixture of yeah the coke syrup. Yeah And how spicy sharp the frickin
sparkling Gasesh whatever is sure that they put in with the syrup. It was the cocaine Let me tell you, to this day, I would go to McDonald's right now and buy a Coke. I haven't had a Coke. I don't remember the last time I had a Coke. Oh, a million, 25 years for me. Yeah, but I would go get a McDonald's Coke because their Coke is so goddamn good. It's the premier Coke. And now, as a kid, I don't feel this way now, but as a kid, their Coke and their French fries,
bar none. Oh, well the French fries still. Still the french fries. Still? Have you had them recently? When was the last time you had them? No, but I've heard stories. You've heard tell. I've heard tales of french fries. Let me ask you a question. This is another SoCal thing. So if you're not from SoCal, you may not know. Or I mean they've expanded over the years. But quality you can taste since 1948. Now in my opinion, when it comes to fast food, this
is the pinnacle. Is it an upper? I hard to even call it. I know it. It's hard to call it fast food. It, it, it qualifies. It's so fucking good. I love one of the best people like to shit on. Little more recently, I've heard some harshing on in and out burger. And I think it's just because so many people love it. Who's shooting on it now? Here's my question though. A lot of people like in and out burger because it's fantastic, but here's the real question.
How do you feel about their French fries? See, and this is very divided. It's very divided. Nobody's in the middle. This is divided. Nobody is in the middle. Where are you on that fence? You love hate. I love. Oh, me too. Thank God you said that. I love. Because I love In-N-Out's french fries. I'll do the twice cooked, I'll do the under cooked. No, that's what we do. Okay, so I'm more of a fan. I'll take them anyway I can get them. You know you can gas for them
to be double cooked. What do you think we do? Secret menu. What do you think we do? Yeah. All the time. Extra extra well do a double up crispy crispos double fried and because they're so pure They just and you could you watch them as you're driving? Fucking potato becomes right. Oh, there's another one. Yeah, it's fantastic. I love that Potato oil and salt and they're scorched your face off. I love those fries. I why do people not like welcome that they
come out piping hot and put blisters on my tongue. Now here's the thing. Tongues, I have two tongues. So I'm glad we agree on In-N-Out because I'm a huge fan. It's the best. We get it all the time. There is no other fast food I eat anymore. And I used to eat all of it. Yeah, me either. I don't eat any of it either. Oh my God. Except for In-N-Out. The amount of Taco Bell that I used to ingest. Yeah, long time ago. I haven't had Taco Bell in 30 years. Holy fuck, dude.
Yeah. Okay, so let's go back a ways because... there are some things that are no longer there. Okay, Del Taco, no, Del Taco still exists. It does too. Okay, I got a good Del Taco story for later, but let's start with- Pioneer Chicken, gone. We got all of these, we gotta get to all of them. That one's gone, Pioneer Chicken. Is there a Pioneer Chicken anymore? They're gone. I sure hope there. Do you remember Pioneer Chicken? Yeah, it was like Kentucky Fried Chicken
except 10,000 times more grease. And- Ten thousand times worse. Yeah, it was terrible. That's why they're gone. Yeah Like KFC wasn't bad enough. Yeah, KFC. I mean it's disgusting, but the flavors really good Give me a bucket. Give me a bucket. Give me a bucket. Give me a bucket
of chicken. I mean it was disgustingly greasy. Pioneer was just, it was so, you would get to the bottom of a bucket of pioneer chicken and there were there was at least Two and a half inches of fucking grease and fat at the bottom, which I would just Yeah, you would just suck it down. Yeah. In one little slurp. But Taco Bell, going back to Taco Bell for
a second. Yeah. That was... First of all, the Taco Bells, I don't know if this was like this everywhere, but the Taco Bells in SoCal all had the little like arches, the little Spanish architecture, like they were missions. Like they were built like California missions. You're gonna have a religious experience. I had many religious experiences at Taco Bell at two in
the morning. But it's so funny because now there's so many of those mission style Taco Bells that are... have been repurposed into new restaurants and you can always tell it's an old Taco Bell because of the little mission style arches. Man, so when I was growing up in the valley I worked at the music store and we had a Taco Bell on the opposite corner. Right. Oh I know exactly. Know exactly where it is. And it was always... Isn't there still a Taco Bell there?
It's still there! It's the same one! It's the same one! It's been there for 30... Music Plus is long gone. But there's that Taco Bell is still there. Still there. Yeah. He used to go there and get, I mean, various items. It was a lot of chicken soft tacos, a lot of bean burritos. Why are you getting a chicken soft taco at Taco Bell? There's only one thing to fucking get in touch with. Back then in the day, it was either a bean burrito or a crispy
taco. Dude, but a Mexi Melt. No, the crispy tacos were amazing. Crispy tacos were great. I'll give you that. They were amazing. But I wanna see if you can remember this. Okay. Salupa! Did you just chalupa me? I never had a chalupa. No, this is before all the fancy fucking shit came out. Now there's like designer fucking burritos. Dorito, burrito, chalupas. No, there was a menu, it was fucking burritos and fucking tacos and fucking Mexican melts and fucking
Mexican pizzas. Oh, those are great. So you get some combination of bean or beef burritos. Well, it's all the same thing. Yeah. It's reorg. It's reorg. Yeah. It's like what wrap do you have? How many beans? All the exact same shit. But we'd go and get the regular like the entree. Right. Yeah. So your entree would be like two bean burritos and a Mexi melty. Right. But then you needed a little bit of some sweet maybe a churro. No, what did they have back in the
day? Do you remember? Do you remember? They were triangular. Sweet? Yes. They were covered in cinnamon sugar. I thought those were the, oh, the cheap, chupa Yes, and they would they were super stabby. So you bite in, you couldn't feel your mouth because you already had like eight gallons of fire sauce from eating your fucking. Wait,
you must stop for a moment to give homage to the hot sauce at Taco Bell. There is no fast food restaurant with a there's no fast food restaurant with a better sauce than the Taco Bell hot sauce. Uh, yes, you're Even In-N-Out special sauce. And the fact that they gave you choices. Oh, dude. Mild, medium. Wait, there was a medium and a fire? There was a fire, too. So there was a mild medium and a fire. Who are you? I just would get the hottest one.
I didn't realize it was the fire. Fire. Yeah, it was the one I would get. They had the different color, like the... The mild sauce was like a yellow and then packet. And then there was like an orange and then there was a fire engine. Red fire. The thing about them, they were all so tasty. They were delicious. Yeah, they weren't. It wasn't hot for hot snake. It wasn't just hot. They were really tasty hot sauces. But that's what I'm getting at is I would get,
I started with medium and then I would, I worked my way up to fire. You say it was, I started with medium. Yeah. And then I was working in the mail room. I started with medium. Start with medium, work your way up to fire. Then you get fire, but once you're done with your entree and you get to the cinnamon crispus, you can't feel your mouth. You can't taste anything. Or taste. Or taste. So it didn't matter. But they were hot too. They came out hot, the
cinnamon crispus. They came out hot, but you couldn't feel your mouth, so you wind up getting stabbed by the cinnamon crispus. You have a bloody mouth. Right. And then all that fire sauce is getting in there. Very painful, painful experience. Okay. So I... Taco belt was tasty. Let's just say it. I mean, it was gastrointestinally gnarly. Sodium party. I love a sodium party. I'm the first person to arrive at a sodium party. And the last to leave. I'm not even going to
be fashionably late to a sodium party. I'm showing up on time and getting my parting gifts at a sodium party. I love sodium. But, but while we're talking about Tacos, I want to stay on the tacos for a minute. How do you feel about the Jack in the Box tacos? Fuck those tacos. I gotta say. No. I love them. Here's why. Here's why, wait, let me just give me, let me give you my case. Don't be a dick, let me explain. Jack in the Box would deep fry the whole goddamn
taco. That's amazing. Tasted like ass. You know what's interesting about them, and I learned this only a couple years ago, is Jack in the Box beef tacos have almost no beef in the tacos, but it's not like they're byproduct, they're just soy, they're basically veggie tacos. There's shit. There's almost no beef in the tacos. There's no reason to get that when you have other higher quality tacos. I love them, honestly. I kinda love them. Now, you had the competitor, you
had Taco Bell, right? And then that's Coke, and then Del Taco is Pepsi or maybe even RC Cola. Not even, it was Fresca. But. We used to go to a god this is this is probably in my early 20s we were working at a recording studio recording stuff for the for stem band. Yeah. There were two Del tacos we would eat Del taco like every day or no that I've ever even been to a like my whole life. Here's the thing about Del taco. OK. Very very distinctive
talk OK. Very much unlike anything you get a Taco Bell but here's the thing that you wouldn't think you would get at a place. crinkle fries. They're fucking crinkly fries. They're still like, they're not waffle fries, not waffle fries. Don't get confused. They're crinkle fries. Yeah. Holy shit. Were they amazing? Yes. Really? Yes. Really? You know where else you could get good crinkle fries? Nowhere. Jack in the box. And they, I'm not sure they were crinkle,
but they had the spicy fries. Mm. And, and, and this is something I remember eating later, like. Well, I guess that's when you were talking about with Jack and the, with the, with Del Taco too, but when like Kelly and I would go out and be completely obliterated and need some food because we've had no food and we've had nothing but alcohol, where do you go? You go to get to, or Tommy's. Was there another big one? Maybe we go to Tommy's. I got a Tommy
story. Okay, but before Tommy's, we would also go to Jack in the Box a lot. And at Jack in the Box, we would get that spicy chicken sandwich. Do you remember that? That was good. It was super spicy, but the flavor was amazing. So good. I used to get that at work all the time. Yeah, it was fucking great. That was one of the best menu items they ever had. Ever. That was a fantastic- God, I forgot about that. I can actually kind of taste that right now.
Yeah, it was so- Did you have a little slice of cheese on it? I think it did. It was so good. That was a delicious sandwich. Dude, Tommy's, you... Tommy's, we was a big, I mean, that's a valiant thing. Tommy's was the drunk food. Yeah, that's drunk food. It's where you go. So... And in Van Nuys, it was in Van Nuys. Well, I didn't usually go to it because, okay, this isn't going all the way back. You didn't go to Tomi's. It's like late Gen X time. I mean,
so by the time we were, I don't know, late teens, early 20s, partying. Yeah. at the band house. Yeah. We would usually send, I remember I was living in this one house up in West Hills and one of my roommates, Rob, we would always convince her like, hey, I'll fly if you guys buy. Like he would, he was cool driving to Tommy's because he weren't delivering it. Oh, he would go buy himself. Yeah. To pick up for everybody else, but we would buy his food. That's a good deal.
That was smart. That was really good. That was smart because gas wasn't as expensive back then. Right. He was smart. He was making out pretty well. but it was always the best drunk food because you get a Tommy's double chili cheeseburger. Yeah. Chili cheese fries. Oh yeah. Chili cheese shake. And then the whole really hard. I want a chili cheese shamrock shake. Really hard. Oh mint. Mint and chili go together. And cheese. It gets stuck in the
straw. Gnarly American cheese, dude. Not even like real cheese. It was the best. Drunk food like you didn't you weren't hungover the next day, although Leaving the tommy's wrappers out and you wake up at seven in the morning The stank over and oh the stink of chili cheese paper If I had a if I had a tommy's chili burger right in front of you, it would kill me No, it would kill me if I ingested it would rip a knife out and stab it It would be a hole
in your face. It would be instant colonoscopy Without the camera up my ass Here is a typical day of me working in the summer when I was 17. Okay. At music box. And into 18. Okay. Winchels. In the morning before work? Oh yeah, because we do- Wait, what'd you get, what'd you get? We would do, we'd have to like ticket sales at like seven in the morning. Beer clock. So I'm walking at seven, or seven thirty. I'm walking at seven o'clock in the morning. Crawler. Crawler?
Old fashioned. Wait, wait, go hold, slow down motherfucker. Crawler. Spell this. Cruller. Spell it. Cruller. I can't. C. Close enough. Usually. A cruller? It was a... either a chocolate or a maple filled bar. What's fucking wrong with you? You sick fuck. A brownie? And a Winchell's brownie, if you don't know, it has about an inch of thick fudge on the top. You're an inch of thick fudge. I wish. Yeah. An extra large Coke, not diet, full sugar Coke. Oh my God.
That's my breakfast. Then it gets worse. So lunch is Taco Bell where I go and get my sodium filled fucking bean burrito. Stop, stop, I gotta, I gotta pause. You can come back to this and I'll bring you back. But did you just say Taco Bell? Yes. You don't say Taco Bell? Taco Bell. Not Taco Bell? Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Oh yeah, it's on the bell, Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Okay, well I've had this discussion with my- No, no, it's Bell, no, Taco Bell. No, it's
Taco Bell, it is on the bell. Taco Bell, it's interesting because I think my kids say- Taco Bell. No, you just said it. Yeah, as if it could be like a burger bell or pizza bell. Exactly. It's Taco Bell. Taco Bell. What kind of taco is a Taco Bell? It's not a taco. It's not Taco Bell. It's not, we're not talking about the bell. We're talking about the taco. It's about that. You're right. Taco Bell. The emphasis is on the bell. So Taco Bell, what are you
getting for us? Yeah, I'm getting a couple of bean burritos. Okay, two bean burritos. And maybe a Mexi Melt. Mexi Melt. Cinnamon Crispus. If that wasn't bad enough. A lot of nights I would go home and have like a half decent dinner and by half decent I mean maybe a Swanson's hungry man. But that's not even half decent and not that's just a Swanson hungry man. Not a dinner. Just the man. Yeah. His name was Swanson.
I would go for dinner to the Shell station. Oh my God. Come on. No. And I would get you know those same one across the street. Okay. Convenience, it's right there. This is why you'll call it a convenience store. So for dinner, I would pick up something before I went home and it was usually one of those, I call them the triangle sandwich. Oh yeah. I love them in a little plastic cup. You peel it off, you get your tuna, you got your egg salad, a big
one in the triangle sandwich. Love the egg salad. This is what you're getting for dinner? Yeah. That and usually a bag of chips. Honestly, that was probably healthier than anything else you ate that day. Yeah. Well, by the time I got to dinner, I at least had some protein going on. There was maybe some meat. Yeah. We got right. Or, or egg with a little egg protein. Probably like there was, those are probably five, 600 calories. You got some protein. Yeah.
The calories weren't a problem. No, the calories were a kid. But I was ingesting sugar and sodium until the fucking cows came home. There's How I survived that was unbelievable. No wonder I actually had to go see fucking doctors when I was 19 years old because I was destroying my fucking stomach. Well not to mention when you get home, you're like drinking booze and smoking weed and like you know all that stuff too on top of that. Yeah, I wasn't just Fresca,
I'm telling you. You know, it was like. There was a lot of Zima. There was, oh my God, did you have Zima? Yeah, that's a whole nother, that's a whole nother topic. Booze of the 80s? We'll talk about booze of the 80s back in the day. That was good. Zima, I remember having it once, like I think I got it with Kelly, we were somewhere and we had the Zima was like, what is this garbage? Okay, then you had your semi fast foods. You had your Bob's Big Boys.
By the way, still a Bob's Big Boy down the street from me in Burbank. Yeah, that's like the last one I know of. By the way, I went there. Garbage? Recently. Terrible. Oh, just the worst fucking ass food ever. That big fucking boy out front, he is luring you in with his big suspenders and shit. No, it's terrible. I'm not gonna touch that one. We had some real gnarly things in the Valley that were equivalent to Bob's big boy. Why such as? Tell me. I mean, I hesitate
to even say, but there was a restaurant in the San Fernando Valley. I know it. I know what you're gonna say. Go ahead. Is this the one that has the name that wasn't quite- Yeah, had a racist name. It was Sambos. Was the name of the restaurant. Can you believe? And that amazing thing was how long that restaurant lasted with that name. It was around a long time.
In Tarzana. In Tarzana! And there was a chain of multiple, I mean, it's just like, you know what I remember about the like the racist stuff that was in the culture that we had no idea even. And it wasn't like what it meant. It was a racist restaurant. No, but we didn't even know what it meant. We were kidding. We had no idea what that was. But it was great because it was a family restaurant. I know, Sambo, Sambo family restaurant. But you know what I remember
about Sambo's? Huh. was one of those places as a kid, as a very young kid, you would get like a paper hat or, it was always something fun that you got in there, like really fun stuff you got. So you wanted to go to Sambo's not for the food. Institutionalized racism is what you were going there for. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Okay, so there was that. There was, there were a bunch of restaurants like that, but I'm trying to think if there were other like fast
food, fast foods that we were missing. There'd be the Jack in the Box, the McDonald's, the Burger Kings. The Carl's the Wendy's. Oh, okay, Carl's Jr. Hold on, Carl's Jr. And Wendy's, I didn't do much. I wasn't into the square meat. Square meat didn't do it for me. It's just weird. There's something about it. I don't like my meat flopping out for my fucking. Carl's was a good, Carl's was fairly tasty. Carl's, okay. Flambroiled. There's only one thing.
Western bacon cheese burger. Yeah, that was so good I didn't even remember it till you just said it and here's the thing the Western bacon cheese burger It doesn't really hold up anymore. I don't think bacon barbecue sauce bacon barbecue sauce onion ring in that onion ring in it as much as I love good crispy bacon It didn't matter on that sandwich because you had all the other elements. You had the fucking burger, you had the fucking barbecue sauce,
you had the big motherfucking onion ring. That's how it was listed on the menu too. Big motherfucking burger, big motherfucking onion ring. Yeah, that's how it was. And then the bacon too. It was all the good meats and fried shit. That's a Bowie salad. You almost, yeah. All the good meats. Actually, okay, so when we were going to grade school, what... What were we getting if we had fast food at lunch? It was always either. We had, oh, Arby's dude. Arby's, oh
no, boy. How do you leave that out of this list? How do we forget Arby's? The most terrifying meat. Prismatic meat. This side of the Mississippi. It had all the colors of the rainbow. Why was it prismatic? Why was that? Because it was not roast beef. It was shiny, prismatic. It's weird that I remember that it was prismatic. There were hues of blue. and purple. It was mountains majesty. It was it was the weirdest shiny meat. He's the only way to choke down. Arby's at
Arby's was and I'm just gonna say the most amazing barbecue sauce. I loved that gooey, sticky honey. Are we still talking about Arby's sauce? Oh no, the alternative at Arby's the alternative sauce was um uh jism it had the consistency of jism it was the same color actually it was the horsey sauce i can't believe it was called horsey sauce That's so disgusting!