I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando. But we've been friends for over 40 years. And grew up together in the San Fernando Valley. These are the stories of our experiences as adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from back in the day. And don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode. Was it? Da na na. The other night. Da na na. What I found in there. Da na na. Was an absolute
fright. Da na na. That's all I got. Dude, why would you leave me like that in the middle of that ocean? That that bad blues ocean. I left you I left you a Chunk of the Titanic to float around. I know you didn't I sunk I'm dead. I've been eaten by I hooked out a lifesaver I'm hanging out with Quint except instead of sending it throwing a real lifesaver I threw you like a role of them by the way, dude Okay. Oh wait love life. We're not gonna get a role
right now. Yeah fact that it was in a role fruit or mint When I was a kid. Today, mint. Yeah, okay. All day, every day. But when you're a kid, fruity flavors. When I was a kid, I loved the fruit. I couldn't do the fruit now. Man, those white ones that were like cocoa, pineapple, coconut. Oh, oh my God. Pineapple lifesavers. I can taste that right now. The red cherry ones, amazing, amazing. But, yeah, I love a lifesaver. Who doesn't? No, I always like cleaning
out stuff. Because I like, you know, just to get rid of things. What'd you get rid of? I had some extra like shipping boxes, like small boxes, and I realized I didn't need all the ones I had. The boxes were on top of a game. Dun, dun, dun. I only have one. Well, you have one board game? I have one. Is it a board game? Or is it a digital game of sorts? No, it's a board. I guess you have to consider it as board. Are there batteries? No, no, no. This
is old school. You have an old school game in your apartment right now? Old school. Look, I have old school games in my house because I had kids. Yeah. And when I had kids, I bought all the best games, board games, because board games are great. I have one of the originals. One of the finest. I know what it is right now. What? Okay. I don't even, you don't have to go any further. Okay, what is it? Monopoly. No. Okay, I don't even have to go further.
We'll just edit that out. Okay. I don't even have to go any further. I know what it is. Clue. No. Dude, you gotta go, like think the, like the. What? Life. Even before. Old, old, old. Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. The oldest of the old. I got it, I got it, I got it. Scrabble. Fuck yeah, Scrabble. Dude, yeah, when you go back to the beginning of time, when I think of more games. Because your mother is Seal Wibblesman. Of
course you have Scrabble in your closet. What is wrong with me? The game couldn't be fun. You have a librarian mother. The only game you should have in your closet is Scrabble. And to this day, it is the only one I have. Are you really good at Scrabble? Because I would bet that you are. I'm not particularly great. Eric Wibblesman, you were a spelling bee champion. I was a spelling bee champion. I've got a sizable vocabulary, but I just don't like work in the
triple word score is not my jam. I just like, I freeze up. That's all I'm thinking about when I play Scrabble. That's all I think about is how do I get to the triple word. Even if it's ox. Yeah, ox. Even if it's ox, I want, or ax. Xylophone. Well, that's what you want on triple word score is you want xylophone. Early board games, I mean, okay, chess and chat, wait, like, Does count. Yeah, does fully count. So I played a lot of checkers. Are you
a good chess player? No, my brother was, I don't know if he's still a good chess player, but he used to read up, he read, like, Was he ranked? No, not ranked, no, he was just, Why not? What do you mean? When people go into these things and they get really good at them and they get involved with organizations, you get ranked. I remember him, he had a book, Bobby Fisher teaches chess. Yeah, I know. Yeah, so he read up some Bobby Fischer. I think he got pretty
good. I was never... I knew the basics of the game, but I never got really good at it. Dave was a good chess player. I was never good at chess. So those are our early games. We played Scrabble, but then, okay, as kids... Oh, kids. Monopoly! Monopoly. It was great. At one point, I had, I don't know how old I was, but I had a Nintendo system. and I got Monopoly for Nintendo. And so I started playing against a computer and I would be getting, you know, I would put
it on expert and I would get whipped. by the computer on expert every single time until I started paying attention to what the computer was doing. And I started noticing there was a very clear and distinct pattern of strategy that the computer was using to beat me every time. It wasn't what it would buy, but I don't wanna say it publicly, because I'm gonna play people. That's fair. So I figured it out, I was like, oh, it's clear, this is what they're
doing. So I started using that. Technique and when I played humans and you kicked her ass never lost Never lost you had the monopoly on Monopoly. I will have to be compassionate and Just giving to lose at Monopoly unless somebody else is also Unless they've got if you employ info the computer expert strategy of Monopoly You can't be beaten you should play competitive Monopoly then you can play they would know it They would know the strategy then I got to
deal with big brains. Yeah, but there's but there's there there are tens of dollars to be made in prize money. Not even. Huge, it's big. Yeah, it's less. You can win a lot of plastic hotels and houses. I did love that game. And I loved it more when I started destroying my family. What was your favorite ad monopoly? I thought just destroying your family. Well, I like that too. But no, when I started beating everybody. And I remember like one of the first
few times I did, I played with Karen, my sister, and I was just, you know, I was killing. And she was like, you can't do that. And I was just, it was like decimating everybody. And I was just, I had the biggest smile on me. She was not thrilled. She was not amused. She was not amused by that, no. Were you a big Shoots and Liders fan? I was being shits and ladders. That was my game. Shits and ladders was a lot more fun. Except you could only play it once.
And then you had to throw the game away with hazmat. You know how many shits and ladders games there's? Scads. How much is a scad? Is it like 50,000? No, no, it's pretty much. A scad. Okay. So like you have a couple, you have several, and then you have scads. So scads is like 12. Oh, so it's less than a pallet. No, no, it's like 17. It's like 17. Okay, okay, scad. I have scads of those. 17. But just chutes and ladders. 17 to 35. You'd climb a ladder,
you'd slide down a ladder. Hence, shits and ladders. And then there was? I didn't like shits and ladders. Sorry. Sorry was good. You know why sorry was good? Mm. Because of the pop. The popper. the popper of the dice, loved to pop the dice. That little plastic dome thingy. I would sit with that game while I was watching TV and eating barbecue chips and just pop the dice. That's why that little dome had all that barbecue dust on it because you had that barbecue
fingers. Mine had Cheeto dust. Because it felt good, it was a satisfying pop. Pop, pop, pop. It was like a few other games had that too. I'm trying to think of it. Well, Yahtzee had cups. Oh, well Yahtzee wasn't a board game, it was a dice game. It wasn't a board game. A dice game is a board game. But it didn't have a board at all. Oh, there's no board? No. No, you had the cups and the dice. Wait, are you sure? Yeah, yeah, because then you wrote in
your scores on the Yahtzee sheet. Okay, here's another question for you. Here's another one. Is it a board game or is it not a board game? You ready? Mm-hmm. Connect Four. Oh, that's good. I'm calling it a board game. There's no board. I'd say the thing is a board. The thing is a board, yeah. And then here's the commercial, you ready? Yeah. It's the brother and sister. Yeah. And then the sister wins and she goes, connect four, I win. And then the brother says,
where, I don't see. She cuts him off, right here, diagonally. And he goes, pretty sneaky, sis. And you know what? Pretty sneaky, sis was not the original ending to that commercial. Wait, wait, seriously? No, no, seriously. You're lying right now. No, they changed it. This is a joke. They changed it. It was originally. Cause I got excited and then I realized it was a joke and now I'm upset, but go ahead. And instead of him saying pretty sneaky, sis.
Yeah. She smart mouths him and then he just takes out a butterfly knife and just slices her throat. Yeah, yeah and kills her. And then there's blood all over the connect four. Oh, the connect four board. Right, and then it's like connect four. Mom! And then you hear the... Johnny's being a dick! And you hear the voiceover connect four while there's blood spouting all over the connect four board. It's like burp, burp. That'd be a fun thing to do is to remake
old commercials on 16 millimeter film. or eight millimeter film, something really low-fi. But really messed, like, and do stuff like that. I think that's our next project. Pretty sneaky. Pretty sneaky, sis. Well, I thought of one where like, for the Mr. Microphone. Oh, hey good looking, be back to pick you up later. But then the microphone explodes. Or, no here's one. Hey good looking, back to me later. And you see the car passing by as a semi truck barrels
into the front. Head on collision. A cement truck. Yeah, with the kid. Doing 90. The William Cat kid with the Mr. Microphone and then it just gets destroyed. I like that. Okay, you know what? I mean, this is for days we could read. I'll rent the cement truck. I'll look into that and you can do the editing. Hey good looking. Be back to pick, oh my God! All right, my favorite board game, oh I'm glad you asked me that, Eric. What's your favorite? What was
your favorite board game? Oh, Eric. Yeah? I'm glad you asked me that. Okay, yeah, I wanna hear it. You're not gonna know, you probably have never heard of this board game. Well, I really, at this point I really don't care, but you're gonna tell me anyway. I don't know anybody else who's heard of this board game, but I'm gonna tell you, Masterpiece, not Masterbait, Masterpiece, Masterpiece. Yes. By the way, Masturbate was a board game. It did not sell well. Because
it was... You know how they always put the age ranges on the games? It was two to eight. And it didn't... Masturbate would be like nine to thirteen. It was a fishing game. It was spelled Master B-A-I-T. Oh, B-I-T. And then they were like, oh shit! And then they printed all the copies. They made like 50,000 copies and then like... They're like, dude, we've got a whole plethora. Both Milton and Bradley were like, oh, fuck, we fucked that one up. No, this is
not master. They lost a few bucks on Master Bait. They did. This is not that. Master Pie? Master Piece. What was it? It was based on famous paintings. and you would have famous paintings and bid on them and some of them were forgeries and it was this like bidding, secret bidding game and it was really, it's a brilliant. It sounds like shit. No, it's a brilliant game.
No, I don't believe you. You'd like it to this day. No. Because it works with different age groups and it's sort of like Liar's Dice with paintings, with famous paintings and they're real famous paintings that are printed on the cards. It's a great game. And everything, and the money, that was the other thing that was fun about it, was the currency was millions of dollars. What was fun about playing with monopolies, you had like 500, 100. Yeah, it
was way slow, way smaller. But yeah, you go to something like Masterpiece and you get millions of dollars. Literally hundreds of thousands, millions of dollars for these paintings. I might consider playing that. I'm gonna go on pay and find a copy of Masterpiece. Not Masterbate. No, well you can't find a copy of that anymore anyways. They've destroyed a lot of those. Yeah, or they're worth, you know, there's like a couple left and they're worth a lot of money,
like a Boba Fett or something. That's true, maybe they're just super valuable. Look at me and tell me what Monopoly piece I am. It wasn't the deal. No. Wow. I can see this 40 plus friendship. This 40 year plus friendship is about to end. Okay, seriously, seriously. Look at you. You were wanting to be the shoe. Oh, I know, the horse. No? Okay. What was it? I don't know. Dude, the car. Oh, the car. The car, the fucking race car. Dude, if you said,
yeah, a cool old race car. I like that car. I thought if you said iron next, I was gonna fucking drill you in the head. The iron. Iron. Why did they have an honor? Those were brilliant. Those pieces were amazing. Yeah, they were fun pieces. They said something about, I don't know about what, but they said something. Pieces, and this thing- Again, we're gonna make a new one. And it's gonna happen. Okay, what would you, yeah, well in your Monopoly game, what
pieces- Firearms, dildos, footwear. There was a shoe in the original. There was a shoe, yeah. So, yeah. We're gonna have corpses. Corpse, oh, a good corpse, yeah. Like a dead, like a, no, like an outline. Okay. Like a dead outline from the, the detective did of the chalk outline. Let's see, how about a... I'm gonna have a half-eaten fish with the spine sticking out. A heroin spoon. A heroin spoon, right, right. A bong to go along with the heroin spoon. Oh, yeah,
that's good. That's perfect. That's enough pieces to play Modern Monopoly. Masterpiece I've Told You About You Like is a good game, but also another game that I used to love, Clue. You know, I played that a little. It wasn't popular at my house. I don't know why. I don't know, we must've been playing a lot of Monopoly or something else, but Clue. Clue was fun. Mr. Green in the study with the lead pie. God, what was the other one? Risk? Risk, that's a gross.
When we got older. Risk was the one where you were trying to take over the world, where you're a fascist dictator. That's the goal. Just to be a fascist dictator and rule the world. What better game for a family? That was risk, right? We had all the pieces and you move your army in different places and then... Yes, and then... That's risk! But there was Stratego also and
I don't... Oh! You just reminded me of another one. Oh, which one? An electronic board game eventually, but it was first, it was not electronic and you had to use your own, like, honesty. Yeah. Battleship, you got it. Battleship was great, I loved that game. That was a big... The original Battleship was just great, and yeah, you couldn't, like, you could fuck with people and lie. Yeah, you had to tell them that you were like, hit. Hit, hit. Miss! Hit. You
sunk my Battleship. That was the other one that had the commercial. That was the commercial. But dude, once... You sunk my Battleship. But once they got to the electronic Battleship, and it made the... It was electronic. And you put in like E4, and it'd be... Peace! with that eight bit sound. Oh, it's like. Brrrr. That just sounds like, that sounds like Donald Duck taking a shit. Which is also a great, which is a great board game. Donald Duck taking a
shit? Donald Duck takes a shit. That's a great board game. I played that a lot actually. I really enjoyed that game. Okay, wait, we got Battleship. Battleship was fun. I enjoyed Battleship. I would play that to this day. That's still like. That's a head to head. I know it's not really, it's sort of a, it's a board game sort of and it kind of reminds me of Battleship that I used to play with my sisters and they have like little peg versions of it and plastic
versions is mastermind. I vaguely remember that. That's one where you would put behind a little screen four pieces or six pieces of different colors. Oh yeah yeah! guesses. That's right. Figure it out and you would know it's in the right place, the right time, space, the right color. These sort of games, like we're talking about, that's a good game. The Stratego and Risk and Mastermind. And Master Bait. That's the great one. They all made you use your brain.
Well, almost all of them. Made you use your brain. Like, they're real thinking games. They actually, they were thinking games. They really made you like, dig deep. I stopped playing board games because, you know, you get to be a teenager, you're not playing board games anymore. Because you're in drugs. Right, that was way more fun than board games. No, one of the things that stopped us from playing board games was video games. Video games, right,
so we started going to video games. That took, right, that took over. Of course, I wanna play pickaxe speed all day. Yeah. And we did. I mean, look at you, you even learned to master Monopoly off of a fucking video game, right? Now you're gonna say something else. Now I wonder, are board games still a big deal? Like, are they, is it something, do- Do families still care or in this digital age, are people just not playing? Or are they doing it online, where
they're playing like different places? Can I tell you how old you sound when you say things like this digital age? You sound ancient. It's not that I'm not. In this digital age. Back, back on video. Back when I was a kid, in the good old days. I used to eat my own toes when I got hungry. You kids got it made with the Cheetos. We have- I would eat my toes, you got Cheetos. We didn't have board games. Our board games were just mud. We just played with
mud in the yard. And we'd eat that when we were hungry. The mud, you're a bunch of pussies. The guy's sound. listening to the Sons of San Fernando. Don't forget to hit that subscribe or follow button in your favorite podcast app so you don't miss an episode. Drop us a review, we'd love to hear from you. If you'd like to support the Sons of San Fernando, the best way is to share the show. We'll catch you on the next episode.