2018 Fantasy Things Draft (Live from Chicago)

Haberballers.

Before we play back the live Fantasy Things Draft, who did a few weeks ago in Chicago. A quick note from our friends over at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Do you think that driving drunk or drug impaired is okay? The truth is that your reaction times slow way down when you're under the influence. You're not only putting yourself in danger, but also everyone around you. Remember, if you feel different, you drive different. If you drive high, you'll

Welcome to the Solid Verbal. I'm after me, I'm a man. I've heard so many players say, Well, I want to be happy. You want to be happy for a day at the State. Is that wool? Live from the Vidom Theater in Chicago, Illinois. It's the twenty eighteen Fantasy Things Draft, presented by the Solid Verber and now your two hosts for the evening, Ty hilden Brand and Dan Ruvenstein. We should have prepared. Did everybody hear us?

Yeah?

No, nobody can hear us. It's great, perfect, Let's just do this for us Okay, before we begin, you should know that you would have been the only audience to hear this show if not for Ties saving the day with literally two minutes before you walked in. So just give it up one more time for Siehild and Rod. Also, before we begin, I had forgotten about the star Fox theme song that just played. That's what that was. Did anybody pick up these Star Fox me there? Okay, right here,

How many people are here against their will?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, and that's it.

There's a little bit of a there's a little bit of a scalp going on to which I appreciate. Yes, so here, here is what we do with this show.

We just got to win her over. That's it.

We're gonna try. Here's what we do with this show. People have heard of fantasy football, fantasy sports in general. We thought it'd be fun to instead of pick players or coaches or teams to put on any kind of fantasy roster.

Instead, we're gonna pick things.

We're gonna pick storylines, We're gonna pick tropes, things that announcers say, funny things that might happen throughout the course of the season. And we're gonna make our own pretend teams using those things. Hence fantasy things. That's where it comes from. We're adults. Yes, we're making our own secret rocks.

Yeah. So with that being.

Said, we're trying to do a show for everybody. So if you are here, I'm on here, I'm on plenty of seats. If you are here against your will, We're going to do our best to make it a fun show for everybody involved.

Yeah, We've got a couple of guest commissioners hopefully they're here. If not, whoops. We're gonna draft storylines as you can see, tweet throw things, on the Instagram. It's what the kids do. We're getting chicken tenders. Afterwards, come out tenders with tie and beer and everything like that. That's the way this works. Yeah, I don't know should we just go any other announcements. I think we should just get all right, do it.

The important things are out of the way. Please make sure you.

Other way I'm talking way connection is very helpful tonight.

Okay, So if we could get around of a plus to get.

This thing started. So we did this last year. And as you know, when a commissioner comes to the podium at the NFL Draft, it's not a super happy time.

Now people love to boo the commissioner boo lustily when we have our guest commissions up here.

I am going to be announcing the first pick, which is ties pick correct, And I think it would only be right if there it is. When I say the pick is in, you're going to hear a sound and I'm going to walk to the front and I'm going to announce the first pick. You don't need to boo the rest of the announcements, but just the first one. I want that first one. Sure, I want that flavor just for the people listening at home. Yeah that Taylor. Are you ready? Here we go? Thumbs up? All right,

Ti.

It's a strong pick. It's not the strongest we've ever had.

No pay dividends here, explain, here's the rationale. So we have a diehard group of rebawlers who listen and they actually keep track of this madness on our subreddit, which is phenomenal. Thank you if you're out there and helpful and part of this little madness that we've created.

Yeah, I lost last year.

It was close, but I lost, and I lost because I picked stupid things that we're only mentioned or referenced throughout the course of the season a handful of times, maybe in the beginning, maybe at the end.

But not throughout like some of yours.

So I ended up losing by a couple of points, mainly because of that, which means I got the first pick. So we're going to go through some here that I think definitely have more potential.

Yep.

But I wanted to go with Jimbo Fisher's ten year, seventy five million dollar contract. Ye huh, because people are going to talk about that.

That's a lot.

So it seems Kirk Farnce is contracted through twenty seventy five I believe, okay, yes, if memory serves okay, he probably won't earn seventy five million dollars between now and then, I would assume. So Jimbo Fisher checks both of those boxes.

Both of those boxes.

And we're in a position where people just are enamored with sports contracts, right, So there are going to be segments that talk about Jimbo Fisher's contract, second guessing, second guessing the contract. There are clearly going to be added pressures from having that contract. It's going to be a very in vogue thing to mention, to write about and hopefully to get me points.

Yes. The great thing about this specific deal, and it doesn't happen with a lot of schools, if any, is when he took the job, everybody was immediately down in Southeast Exis. I was like, is he Texas enough? And then as you can see, well, he was like, no, I can hold boots. I can definitely, And then he's there. Do you remember the message board post like, how is he going to get along with Revelle?

Is he?

Because Revelle knows if he's not a real laggy, the Revelle's a dog. So I like the fact that this might start a trend of coaches having to prove that they are geographically like a hazing of sorts right that they are they are good enough for that crowd, Like I would want a new Washington coach to hold up a Chinook salmon take a big bite, like no, I am Pacific Northwest enough Vermont Lake. So here's the here's the operative question.

Now, yeah, does this all go to a place where we see a game day segment of Jimbo Fisher riding a mechanical.

Bull please please know.

We don't need a and what does that look like?

Well, I'm glad you mentioned that because my pick is undulating Jimbo Fisher. No, that's that now, I'm trying. I really gave it a lot of thought, like I want the next Ohio State coach. I want, yeah to like take a bite out of one of those butter sculptures. Really prove Yeah, I really learned about that recently. Yes, so good overall, fort overall, Yeah, solid, I think you're gonna do well. All right, I'm ready for my.

Give it up for Jimbo Fisher. He could buy and sell all of you. So now you don't have to boom me. No, you could if you want. You don't have to.

Are you ready to make your pick? I'm ready pick us in whoa thank you?

With the second overall pick in the twenty eighteen Fantasy Things Draft, Daniel Rubinstein selects strength coach has a screw loose.

Yeah.

So okay, if I could give just a little bit of context, Okay, if I could give a little bit of context here.

Bad week, bad week, bad week. We did our draft last night.

We're about to become a human. I'd swear we sort of planned things out a little bit last night. Yeah, and when this one came up, you can ask your wife.

I lost it.

I was chuckling heartily when this one came up. So explain to me what this means.

The asterisk here is non awful strength coach things victimless strength. Like just when a strength coach destroys a trophy or goes to Hawaii with bands to get jacked in Hawaii. This I mean this guy specifically Aaron Feld for Morgan the new Hire comes over from Georgia, a ridiculous mustache post ridiculous things is great as far as I know, right, So anytime any strength coach does, like if they're if guys are lifting Halloween week in Marvel costumes, I want

You showed me his Instagram, which I was not familiar with you. It's do you remember those old, like nineteen nineties WWF interviews with mean Gene Okerland. Of course, it's like that, but all the time. Yes, there's no off switch, just remarkable. So if they're all like him, which I know or not, but.

Most kind of are. Yeah, yeah, there's a there is again positive victim less a little bit. Yes, it's a good bad week.

A lot of upside there, Yes, what upside?

I'm happy with it. So I'm it's my pick once again.

Right, it's your pick, so good get the stash a round of a bass please, Aaron Felds. So we we call it the Fantasy Things Draft, which means we have to do the weird serpentine thing even though there's only two of us, which is awkward and we still get it wrong. But I feel like we did a good job planning it out. This You get two picks in a row, now, is.

What this means.

So your first pick was the screw loose awesome, and uh this hurts.

I like that you're going up every time. That was just supposed to be a one time thing.

No, let's let's see people paid money so tiled events.

Yeah, come on, no boom again for that? Oh my god, that that boo is real.

It was.

With the third pick of the Fantasy Things Draft, Dan Rubistein selects Welcome Home, Scott Frost.

Yeah this hurts. Yeah, I would have taken this. Okay, No, you're right, you should have and would have. But we discussed this in advance.

Every week during the Nebraska broadcast, somebody is going to say we have a couple of broadcasters here. They will affirm, yeah, that's like, oh, Scott Frost obviously played for Nebraska. Scott Frost is coming home. That's not what will count. That's too easy. After last year with so you're purposely limiting yourself. I am limiting myself. WHOA yes, as a generous champion, I am. I want to be this because last year we had like the commercial thing, we had Tom Renaldi

See, I feel better now that you are specifying the belly button, not because I'm interested in the belly button per se, but mainly just because you're leading points on the table.

Yeah.

So Scott Frost, for those wondering playing the home game, is the new head football coach at Nebraska. He played at Nebraska. He was a successful coach at Nebraska. After leaving Nebraska, he went into the coaching business.

He's playing the NFL way in the NFL. We won't talk too much about that. Come.

He was very successful as an offensive coordinator, was very successful for National champion.

You see f last year. Boo, I hate a tiny school in Orlando.

Yeah, and now he's head football coach at Nebraska. They were after him from day one. They get their guys. So you're gonna see even if you don't see belly button, there are gonna be a lot of those cheesy like welcome home Scott banners. Someone's gonna fly a plane over the stadium. Home, Scott, somebody has already.

Robbed his house. Yeah, no, that is true. It was like a fourteen year old seventeen year old girl.

Yeah, welcome, welcome home, Welcome home, Scott.

Did you ever watch the show ed on NBC. Yeah, this is like a rich man's Stuckyville. I don't know who Carol Vessi is in this situation, but shout out everybody who watched an a pretty good show on NBC fifteen years ago.

The pick is in. The pick is in Scott Frost. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a good pick.

So with Scott Frost off the board, Tye had to to recognize that a run had to be made at a what was that feeling? Yeah, sorry, feeling this pick. Ty recognized that a run was about to happen. And Ty has selected Kyler Murray plays baseball. But I think this needs a qualifier to Ty, don't you think? Yeah?

I think we need to see photos of in the spirit of what you've already put forth here now with Scott Frost, I think we need to see photos of Kyler Murray in a baseball uniform, literally, specifically, specifically in a baseball uniform. I don't care what kind it is. It could be Halloween dress up. But in the spirit of what you've done, we need to go Kyler Murray in the baseball uniform. So Kyler Murray again, you feel strongly about this. I feel like very strongly about this pick.

Get to school.

In his case, somehow, some way, he not only got a five million dollar contract from the Oakland Athletics excuse me, but he also broke her to deal in which he gets to play one only one. You're a football yep, how is that possible?

I don't know.

It's very unusual. This isn't pillow fighting, it's football.

So I read quotes from people in the a's front office, and it's not clear to me that they weren't strong armed by Kyler Murray's agent, of course, because they're like, oh yeah, like the risk totally outweigh or is totally outweighed by the fact that he's a really good baseball player and he rates on the baseball diamond. But you would think that there would be a little bit more hesitation maybe draft him like nineteenth, but ninth overall, he's getting a five million dollar guaranteed contract.

Wow, that is a huge risk. It's a big risk, and it's unusual in that almost as if you had proposed to somebody and they were like, yes, but I'm gonna take like a year. Brad just got us tickets to Italy. I've never been to Italy. I kind of want to find myself. I'm gonna take a pasta making class, and I think everything should be good when I get back from Capri. I think, right, But who's to say, Hey, we just don't know, right. I also think.

The real story here, the real hero of the story is Kyler Murray's agent.

They should write part.

Of the deal too, about getting this sweetheart deal for the client.

Yeah, we'll see how it goes. I'm not sure Kyler.

Murray is gonna make it through the whole year, yeah, because if he gets nicked, what will their threshold be for leaving them in to play through the pain.

That sort of thing.

But yeah, Kyler Murray baseball outfit is going to be something I think we see a lot of. So even though I didn't get Scott Frost, I feel pretty good that this could be just a successful Yes, that's a good pick.

I think you're gonna be solid with that one. Two solid picks. Yeah, solid Kyler Murray.

Kyler Murray.

I like this one too. I'm not gonna come up one more because I my hard hurts getting booed. The pick is in, all right, So we made a run at the obvious ones. Each have one on the roster. We're gonna go with a cliche with this one. Mono a mono and this is yours, this is mine. You have chosen. The backups might start for I don't know, like a hundred other teams. The backups might be better

He's saying, yeah, no more, no more Stave probably nice.

Remember when Joel Stave had the Yips. Yeah, if you could draft the Yips every year, somebody becoming mentally weak, if you would bathe in.

That, I would draft the Yips every year if I could.

Yeah.

So the qualifiers here, I believe where we're gonna see this. If we see this, all of the Alabama's second team, yes, Carol Tide, all of Clemson's second team, yep, all of Jorge most of Georgia's second team at this point.

And then we've got a bunch of other.

Interesting scenarios around college football. We've got the Texas quarterback situation.

Who doesn't want Shane Bushelle. Everybody's raising their hand if you're listening to this at home. Everybody wants Shane Mischelle.

We've got the Ohio State situation. Just in general, which.

Oh wow, that was such a good okay, good moment of silence. Ye yeah, just cause wow, No, you guys nailed it. So there are plenty of guys that are taking the air out of the room. Yeah, but there are plenty of guys at the Ohio State roster.

But I think we've come to a gentleman's agreement that will sort of limit that.

Yeah talk, No, you're right though they've recruited such a crazy degree that.

Yes, our thing on the show was that the backup is better than the starter, and we're still going to have tons of fun.

With that, right, I expect to anyway, because we can every year.

But as per things that announcers talk about and things that they talk about in the studio and certainly on message boards, like, man, if Tommy Stevens weren't on Penn State's roster, he could be playing.

Like some state message boards.

Yeah, yeah, So I think we're gonna see a lot of that this year because there is a lot of depth around college football.

Yeah, the rich Lawrence justin Fields, Richard get.

Richer, and it's certainly something that at least kills ten seconds of time during a broadcast.

I'm happy you took that pick, because I don't think it's going to do that. Well really, yeah, this was your thing a year ago. I know if I learned little gamesmanship, never heard anybody. Wow, all right, I'm very so this next pick. The pick is in now. With the next pick.

In the Fantasy Things Draft twenty eighteen, Dan Rubinstein selects kickers and punters taunting.

Yes, I don't care if this gets me three points over the course of the season. There is something that warms my heart. So okay.

Some recent examples of this the Outback Bowl earlier this year. Michigan kicker Quinn Nordin. Yeah, kicked a field goal at the end of the first half in a losing effort. Sorry, sorry, you threw the m in our face. And then he went crotch grab.

Yeah, he went, where was the vicinity, Like, that's Baker Mayfield's move, crotch grab, But he went crotcher yelled South Carolina's side, and then he went crotch grab. And then he went into the locker room. And then Michigan we've had yeah, yeah, no, that'll have That's okay though, It's fine because we remember him fondly sort of We've had Brad Wing, former LSU punter, haunts and get a touchdown

Yeah, there was a notable incident in twenty fifteen when Ohio State lost to Michigan State.

You might have to be more specific. It happens so often.

Continue Matt Geiger kicked a game winning field goal and then ran the full length of the field.

Doing like the windmill thing.

Does that countess? Is he really taunting or is he just celebrating? By his own much.

Of a difference? Really is there? When a kicker is celebrating, everybody's like, holy shit, this kicker is sticking it to me, like this kicker feels so confident being alone on the sideline, constantly only being a two star during the recruiting process, having to be scouted out of a camp in like Australia, and here is his moment to shine, and he shines, and he's gonna celebrate however he wants, and he celebrates, and that sticks it to every single person the crowd

Broad definition of the kicker taunt, yes, splash celebration.

Yes, yeah, it's not gonna do well for me, but it's gonna raise me so much happening. When it happens, we're gonna get a million tweets. That's what's gonna happen.

It'll be totally worth it. So yucker and punter taunting.

Please, Oh man, I forgot about this pick. Yeah this was a good one. Are you enjoying the show so far? Yeah? Yeah, you know you are.

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Man this is what.

So we're on pick number seven, with the seventh pick in the twenty eighteen Fantasy Things Draft, Taylor.

That was a great bit of timing with good timing, Shoot time, Taylor.

Yeah, Dan Rubinstein selects Will mush Champ has seen the lights.

So every year there's a coach who says to the world, Yeah, we're gonna do things differently.

That's right.

I don't know why he's Hull Kogan brother, but I mean you sort of you look at him and you're like that. That's how he probably talks. And we're gonna go up tempo, we're gonna spread things out, we're gonna get the ball to our playmakers in space. I don't know that he fully knows what he's saying. When he says that right, and it only succeeds like Kansas gets the ball to playmakers in space theoretically, and there's something wonderful about like obviously Will Musham doesn't want to run

What cracks me up about this pick is if you did an ancestry DNA of your first first pick. This is definitely a second cousin of strength coach with a screw lest Oh yeah, I mean really, yeah, that's what this is all about.

Will mus Champa is a strength coach with like seven more credits. That's right. Like he went to summer school and it was like, oh I can do trig. Yeah he couldn't, but he got it passing right. How do we think South Carolina is going to do this year? I think they'll do pretty good. I like them. I feel like you like South Carolina players. I love Deebo Samuel. I think Jake Bentley is fine. I think their defense has enough experience. They've they've recruited top twenty five classes,

I'm struck by the number of South Carolina emails we've gotten early in the year, Like the season hasn't already it hasn't even started yet, right, We've already done all of our previews, mind you, but this is sort of an indicat that there might be some validity to this that other South Carolina fans are feeling that maybe something, maybe he's seen the way, maybe there's been maybe an epiphany of some sorts, because they're emailing us asking for more information on South Carolina.

Remember seeing tweets of people at South Carolina spring practice going, hey, watch out, guys, they're moving quickly. They're really they're snapping the ball over and over again, and like they're playing against third stringers on their on the same team replex. A little bit no and the new the South Carolina emails are very nuanced annoyance because we're like, oh, they're gonna be pretty good, and they're like pretty good. This is the South Carolina game Cocks. We've had two good

We got that, We got that email, got that email multiple times, and the.

Guy and listen, I like that people email us and share their opinions dot com. We very rarely get follow ups where we don't respond for whatever reason. And it's just like and it was like a very corporate, like, hey, just wanted to circle back on my my South Carolina annoyance. Uh, just if you guys had any thoughts, so giving up?

Go Cox?

Yeah, did you guys sleep on it? Or I forgot about that?

Yeah?

It was it was surprisingly corporate. It was like, hey, just uh you know, so we respond a very nice gentleman. Yeah, just like a really in depth fan. But yeah, I like that. I like that. He was great. He treated it like an inter office email. Yeah all right, all right, go a bush Champ give it up? Yeah, okay to pick us in. I love this and this is ties

I thought this one up after waking up at three forty five in the morning to catch an early morning Friday flight into town here. So it was a little punchy and a little sleep deprived. But you know how pretty much every studio show and this is not just unique to sports.

This is a cross and coverage Sean channel.

But you know, we've advanced as a society now where we can not only put a man on a moon, but we can, you know, put allegedly we could put, we could put in everyone's pocket a touch screen that you can use the communicyes we have somehow not advanced to the point where they can scale that up into a jumbo studio grade size and still somehow make it workable. And I really truly feel every time, let's throw it back to ad Nan verk Ye out in the stuet. Let's see what's going on let's get a game break.

And I wonder if ESPN has rankings of futility of guys trying to use.

But it's always the same thing. So he's up there and he's like, well, let's, uh, what are your top five there? We love you ad Nan verb and he has to touch it eight times before the.

Thing acted wise. See. I like it when there's an analy like I remember Chip Kelly used it last year, and I've watched you know guys on the NFL network and they're very intense. They're focused on saying, yeah, I think this is a win for the Rams. This is not a win for the Rams. Even though we're talking about college football. There is an element of like with the playoff, like I think that's Matt Berry all intensive

It's coming out of their mouth and mind faster than the your face will allow.

Right, touch the corner before you touch the team. Touch the ha. That's so good. It's gonna happen every week. Right. And then there's sometimes it's it's almost like watching a screensaver where like they grab the Ohio State rectangle, they start drag and it gets very good. Shot there, it's very get there, and then it slides back and you're just like Joey Galloway, if I have to tell you again, Yeah, I love this. It's great. It's a great pick. I think this is gonna gonna do well. Let's give a

I really wanted that, Scott Frost, Yeah, can we trade We're going to take that out of context?

We can.

We can edit that out in post now here we have Yeah, we have the strength, coach. I feel pretty good, not great. I reached, but I wanted it I made a premium I did. The taunting is not going to do well for me. The muss champ, I don't know how you even score that. I think you're out ahead.

I am now, yeah, but I felt like I was out ahead last year. Okay, and then then you drafted some late that you drafted the commercial with the lab code and the dancing.

Oh my god, I remember that. That was cheating. That was virtually cheating. That did so well for me, That was so good. Yeah, that was a penny stock that really dividends.

So I feel pretty good about where I'm at at that moment, but I know what's coming later, and I'm a little concerned.

I was over.

Confident last year, so maybe I'm being, you know, just a little bit cheapish but fair.

So, as you have seen you watched the NFL draft, even the NBA draft, this happens where they bring up a guest commissioner. Ty and I have been doing this for the first eight picks, but we want to add some news. So if you could, what's Jim Harbo's official No, sorry, if you could, please give and I hope he's here. I hope he's here. A big welcome from ESPN Radio Chicago host and producer Adam Abdallah. Where is he? Where is he? He is here?

Keep on going, we go? Is it Mark?

I think?

Whoa?

We got a hot mic? Yes? Hello, excellent, Adam doing, I'm good. How's everybody doing?

Yeah, that's just the thing you say when you get the microphone.

Has it?

But you get a microphone, you're supposed to say.

It's kind of like, instead of saying check one too, you say, how's everybody doing?

So, how's everybody doing? Boo him boo? Yeah you can boo. All right. So Adam is a guest commissioner for us for the next few picks. He is going to review the picks with us, tell us why we're dumb, tell us why the pick is brilliant. He is going to read the pick and then he I think he should both serve as the commissioner. And how's your mal hyper impression? Great? God? Yeah, I mean not. I'll work on it, progress work, I'll work on it here. Okay. So who's up? Am I up?

Hmmm?

Do I have to get up so they can go. Absolutely, I forgot that I have this pick.

I love this emotion with the ninth pick in the soliverbo Fantasy Things Draft Tie drafts Herm Edwards NFL mindset.

Is is I mean appropriately is he the Jimmy Clauson like just free falling Herm Edwards in this drafts? This could be this could be games before you yeah, or Brady Quinn if that makes you feel better, yeah, yeah, So.

If we could recap, then that was what Brady Quinn love. We've got We've got Notre Dame shirts over here. Okay, that was not nice.

He's probably very nice, all right.

So the new head football coach at Arizona State is a gentleman by the name of HERM Edwards. You know, the last time Herm Edwards coach football, it was about ten years.

It's been a while. It's been a while.

You know. The last time her Edwards coached college football that nineteen eighty nine as an assistant at San Jose State.

Yep, Adam, what year were you born? Nineteen eighty four, five years old? We all remember her Edwards? Would you say San Jose State? San San Jose State. Okay, so it's been a while for her.

He's been with various broadcast outlets for the I guess duration of his stay away from football.

He is sixty four years of age, sixty four years young.

Yep.

But even when he was a coach in the NFL, doesn't all that good?

Your voice goes off when you talk about her Edwards he.

Had He had eight seasons as a head football coach, only three of which were winning seasons. Most of those were in the beginning of his tenure. So it's not like we're talking about like, oh, Jimmy Johnson's going to.

Back college game, right.

We're talking about a guy who just is very motivational, has a way of firing people up. So this seemed a bit doomed from the start when ASU announced that they were going to high or him, because no one saw it coming. And also in the introductory press conference, the athletic director literally went up in front of whoever was watching and said, guys.

This is a weird pick. I know, this is a weird hire. Could you imagine telling that to your parents the first time they met a new boyfriend or girlfriend, Like, listen, listen, just give it a chance. Some idiosyncrasies, I grant you. But he went up there, he said, I realized it's a weird pick. And then he turned it over to Herm's agent.

Yeah, not HERM himself, but he turned it over to Herm's agent to sort of be like the hype man.

And then he came out.

He said, listen, Herm's gonna put up a lot of points in the scoreboard of life.

Yep, yep, the scoreboard.

Own scoreboard of life. And then HERM came up and he did his little spiel. He had people, of course, feeling like they wanted to run through a wall after he get talked, because that's what he does. But still remains a bit unclear what the new quote unquote new leadership model is going to be at ASU. He's going to serve in a capacity where he's more of a head coach, more of a figurehead.

We'll see how that goes.

I'm not totally convinced ASU should be relatively like, Okay, this year, they've got a lot back from a year ago. But I honestly have no idea which direction this whole thing's going to go. And you know, he's just motivated enough, passionate enough, that he's going to find his way into publications in national television.

So to get points, somebody has to mention that he's bringing in an NFL mindset, organizational organizational structure, a different model. Yeah, Adam, who's your team? Do you have a team? I'm an Alabama fan? Oh, come on, real time? Do you root for the dealer at the casino who sometimes?

Yes, it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. Actually I'm rooting for the rain. My wife today just asked me. She goes, is it fun when it's the same people over and over again?

I go, yeah. It's like, why are you an Alabama fan? Are you from there?

No?

I'm not from there, as you can tell by my accent.

Yeah.

I lived overseas for a while.

Being back here, I had a geographically convenient friend who was an Alabama fan, and I didn't know what college football was, so I started watching Alabama real time, and so I went to Columbia College. So it's a bunch of art school kids, right, Okay, around so.

Fair. Okay. I was gonna say, I was gonna ask you how you would feel if your team hired her Edwards? But it would never happen, and if it did, oh oh, would be awesome.

Look, he's gonna have a great press conference, and he's going to try to do a lot of NFL things and have an NFL mindset. I just wonder if he's gonna, like, forget he's coaching college football. I think he's coaching in the NFL again and try to do NFL things.

What's so funny about that is again same press conference, or maybe it was different, I don't remember, but a press conference. Somebody from Devil's Digest asked her a question.

He's like, hey, man, I'm Catholic. We don't that's job.

I don't do that.

We don't talk about devils. I do know one thing though, and it.

Was it was just unclear if he knew that that the sun Devil was the actual mascot for Arizona State.

Yeah.

The one thing I do know is that he's going to teach those kids how to be men. That's the one thing I do now, and he's going to do it well.

And he is going to prepare for week fourteen. Who do we got week fourteen? And like herm the seasons, I think, as as an add on to this, pick you should get twenty nineteen ASU coaching rumors, you should get a good one. We should be able to give you that as well. I agree, okay, I agree. Yeah, the pick is in. The pick is in.

I'm not going to get up again. I don't like gettingbody to kind of hurt. Dan was right with the tenth pick in the solid Verbo Fantasy Things draft, Dan selects and this is written down here.

Yeah, it is the goddamn fade. Yeah, I can't you know, you know, I hate describing gifts out loud. Gifts jeffs I don't care. With a Jaguar fan. NFL is just like what do we anytime you watch your team on third and goal, fourth and goal, throw it to nobody in the corner of the end zone, just up in the vicinity towards the pylon. Yeah, it's an ulcer. It works nine percent, you know, point oh oh nine percent

It's like the most carnal of football plays. You know, you just you've got a big dude, go.

Up and get it.

But in college you don't always have a lot of big dudes that can go up and get it.

Think about the number of hours these guys spend in their offices watching film drawing up plays. Flood the zone, right, flood the zone left, pick places. Yeah, running ourpos they're running crossing right, whatever, the running seam man whatever. And then in a crucial moment, they're like, why don't we just throw it to the pylon, throw it to the Why don't we just we're overthinking things and you know what, this pick is going to be a cash cow. Yeah.

I mean the funny thing about this pick is when the team goes after third down into a timeout after running the fade that third down, and they're.

Like, should we go for it? Here comes something special? What is what are we going to do next?

Just another fase, another fame, fourth, one goal line, let's go fade yet again. Is there a more defensive offensive play in college football or football as a whole.

Now, because the quarterback can sort of blame the receiver, the receiver can sort of blame the quarterback. The coordinator can blame the timing, and everybody just blames each other. And that's why it is the worse. And that's why I took it, because it's gonna happen. He's a he's a head coach. Once again, Jeff Tedford, get out of here. At least you get points out of than you hate. Yes, I do. It will give me some fulfillment. I think the pick is.

In Yes, with the eleventh pick in the solid verbal Fantasy Things Draft, Dan Selex, Dean Blandino is wrong.

Okay.

I almost feel like we can just go to the next pick because everybody's like, yes, of course, that is a pick that should happen. This is a thing that we should celebrate a guy who looks like that being wrong about something he's very confident in. Okay, So for the uninitiated, I'm looking at you because you're here against your will. I'm gonna explain this out because it brings me happiness once again. Dean Blandino is the former NFL head of rules and now he's doing stuff for the NCAA.

You could really run the gamut from magician to car dealership with a name like blandis.

Oh yeah, Blandino. He I can't even save Blandino without losing it. Uh yeah, I am again, I am I'm mopping things up right now.

Wow.

I think a lot like the touchscreen guys.

Blandino and the rest of the guys that do this for the NFL, for the various networks need their own scoring system. So they should get like a right and wrong, and they should when they say, when the ref eventually goes no, that wasn't targeting. It should be you should get a little check mark in the you're wrong, and you should add it up so by the end of the season, you know how many times Deem Blandino was actually wrong.

And do you know what he does at the end of the season, teaches referees for the nc double a. Oh it's wonderful. Oh ty, this is a good pick.

When we saw this pick last night and we're putting this together out and this is another giggle fest for me yep, which is a weird way to phrase it, but yeah, that was I'm like, oh god, this giggle fest.

This is gonna kill me. This is gonna kill me. Yeah, Dean Landino, Dean Blandino, and ladies and gentlemen, please do not boo but give a very enthusiastic warm applause, Madam Dollar. Well time now that you can boo him about that, that's fine. Listen to him on the radio. He's very good. Should we bring up another commissioner?

We do have another commissioner. Do you have another Chicago native with us? He's been featured on the program before, he's been featured at a live show before. Would you like to introduce our next commissioner?

Yeah, it's America's sweetheart, Adam a meme?

Is he here? Thanks?

We'll get a cress. You can see my legs.

So you decided to dress like a substitute teacher, and I decided to dress like it was the first day of school.

There's a sticker where that came. How's it going, man? Everything's going great. How are you guys doing?

That's what you're supposed to say right where it does worry automatically elicits a response, whether they want to or not.

Who is Adam?

I mean?

Adam Aman is noted college football broadcaster for ESPN and solid verbal favorite. So we sort of had this thing with Adam. We do what we call a secret verbal on our show. Okay, where it's a long show and we're not totally convinced people are still listening to us at you know, this seventy five minute mark, right, So maybe if we've run around the threshold, I think is why where it comes to people are like, you know what, I'm already at work and I'm not going to listen

Basically, it's very mean.

It is very mean, but it was tremendously clandestine, Like I had no idea what was happening. I was in a hotel room in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, getting ready for Clemson Boston College when suddenly my phone started to blow up.

And what did What did we ask ask people to beefy?

No milk, It's different, that's yeah. It was milkshakes. When can we I had various questions like when can we share a milkshake? If you and I were to share a milkshake in this fantasy world that we have somehow constructed via social media, what kind of milkshake would you and I consume? And would we do it through one or two straws?

We're not good people tying my preference, by the way, is one. So eventually we tell people and sometimes people get annoyed and start blocking people. Sometimes people send angry emails or direct messages whatever. Adam responded positively, and he was just like, I don't know, Oreo.

I I think I retweeted every single one just for the sake. I was like, I don't know exactly what's happening right now because I hadn't heard the episode up until that moment. But I committed to I said, you know what, I'm just gonna keep retweeting this until somebody slipped. I think somebody, unfortunately, maybe they're in this room right now, they slipped and said you should listen to uh a particular pot and it was, of course, yeah, somebody's always like, OK.

We messaged him and we had him on and basically Adam was like, you harassed me with milkshake requests. Can we be friends? That's the kind of.

Person which is which is typically the way to my heart, I think more than anything else.

All right, So should we have the pick come in? My pick?

It is ties P and the pick is in with the twelfth pick in the twenty eighteen Fantasy Things draft, Ty Hillebrand selects announcers flub digital trends.

Yes, which I need a significant level of context for it, if you please.

There may or may not be a reason that we brought you up here to announce this pick, being so you are an announcer.

A good one.

When I came up with this, I was thinking specifically about Sean McDonough and Todd Blackledge trying to talk about Fortnite.

He knows those people. This is to me what Dean Blandino is to Dan.

This is going to stick with me for the rest of the night, potentially the rest of the week, and definitely when Sean McDonough shows up on opening day when he's doing Miami in LSU with Todd black Leedgen and Holly Row, I am going to just start laughing uncontrollable.

Because there there was an incident I don't remember when it was, but way back when with Blackledge, where Mike Patrick just randomly starts talking about.

Britt want to say it was.

It was during a Georgia game, I think two thousand and eight or two thousand and nine in that range, in a crucial moment of every Georgia game.

He's like in her career, and Todd Blackledge goes to like this pregnant pause, like what.

I don't know, why do I care?

I think that might have been a direct quote Todd would why do we care about that? Right now, there's twenty seconds left in this game and they're lining up for a field.

Goal, and then Mike Patrick just went right into the call like it never.

Happened, like it never existed at any point ever during the broadcast.

So I'm not talking specific to McDonough and Blackledge, both of whom are legendary broadcasters in their own right. But I'm just thinking, like, especially the Fortnite thing is of course very popular as a video game for people who aren't on the up and up with this thing.

I tried it. I'm terrible. It's like Simms meets GoldenEye? Is that what it's sort of non The look of doubles, build worlds and shoot people with crossbows. Kind of.

It's really hard, okay, And every time I try to get dusted by like a twelve year old and Holland.

My eleven year old nephew beats me every single time and then proceeds to talk trash and it really does hurt my feelings.

So here's what's.

Funny about this. So this is what kind of got me thinking digital trends. There's more digital trends in just fortnite. But if you google college football in Fortnite.

It's a big deal.

You will see the alarming number of articles that have been written. There was one in USA today by our friend Paul Meyerberg wrote a really cool article on like, yeah, teams are really getting into this, and then there are other people who are like taking it to step further, Like what can Ohio State learn from their fortnite strategy? Oh my god, this is gonna be as there's a seamy Fortnite underbelly of college football is is just now being discovered by those who weren't on the up and up.

About this, and it's going to be awkward. It could be you.

So my I have a new partner this year. I'm working with Rod Gilmour this season, which can and if I bring up Fortnite, I'm very excited to see what my what my brand new partner, Rod Gilmore has to say about fortnitem hm. But it's not just so feel free to to I mean, I feel like you're you're giving you, I'm giving them a disadvanta or someone I'm giving Dan a disadvantage of. Because you can alter this,

Think of the number of stories where something comes out in an Instagram story or on Snapchat, or on Facebook or on god knows whatever new app comes out and all of a sudden, Tim Brando is faced like could you imagine showing Tim Brando an app store and be like, all right, go to town. Timmy's like, ah, bless, we had another one and we're to go through our undrafted

What they I was flipping through the gram today and if you hear that, that's probably an undrafted free agent somewhere.

Yeah, just like a shorthand for it. But this extends to not only the video game thing, not only social media, right, but like wearable technology. Of course GBS Schip Kelly is really instituting an uppace system at UCLA, but he's doing it through technology. So there's a whole bunch of different ten going to get. The older guy is saying I don't use face scram or insta smash or snap book, and they think it's funny, and it is, but it becomes tiring, tied. Do we have a pick that's in.

We do have a pick, but I want to get around of a plug to this because I have got this.

Plus it's well, wait, I want to time this one out with Taylor, like Tye does with the thirteenth pick in the twenty eighteen Fantasy Things Draft.

I love that.

Right on cue, ty Hildebrand selects Notre Dame quarterback questions sars, Oh, how deep is?

How deep into the season are we going to get? I know before that? How deep into game one against Michigan are we going to get? Before we start getting one of these?

In keeping with tradition, I have selected the most bitterly sarcastic Notre Dame item available on the board.

Just tie work on Saints. This isn't an actual pick now.

So we came up with a couple of different ways that we thought we might want to word this, And originally it was Brian Kelly's quick hook m, which I think could apply here.

It did apply. I think that's fair.

At the end of last year we decided to keep it broad and go with quarterback. So here here is where we last left the boys in South Bend. When we last left the Boys in South Bend, the gold Dome crew, Yeah, the Golden Domes, on and on and on and on.

Honey, honey, I think the old football game was on the television too.

But taken out of the box, I don't know how to use it. What are all these crazy knobs? Yeah? Sorry, keep going.

I heard Glenn Miller's playing tonight said a little too far inside for some of.

The I did in the mood. Keep going. When we last.

The boys in South Bend, the hero was a backup quarterback. The hero in the Citrus Bowl was he in book of course Notre name is backup. Now he didn't play most of the year. Their starting quarterback was Brandon Wimbush, who brand Brandon Wimbush looked good in spots, and he was a prolific runner, ran for eight hundred plus yards, had fourteen touchdowns on the ground. To his credit, he

Sixty games Bowl. I'll tell you this is a big one.

Yeah, but he throws for one hundred and sixty four yards two touchdowns, one of which was an acrobatic catch by Miles Boykin to win the football game.

He's the hero. He came in, he had a swagger. So now all off season has been.

Percolating, like what do we do with the quarterback situation. We've seen this play before from Brian Kelly, and it didn't work out very well a couple of years ago. John kyliks Er, So I'm a little worried about this, Dan, I'm a little worried about where this ends up going, because not only do we now have Brandon Wimbush who played most of the year, we all have Ian Book who came in in a tight spot and did very

Yeah. Yeah.

And so there's just like a lot of variables and I'm not totally confident in Brian Kelly's ability to deal with those questions.

So this is going to be a thing. Thank you, This is going to be a thing.

Sorry for you here time.

Where is your level of concern for the rest? I mean, two offensive linemen that are top ten picks. You lost your lead running which by the way, could have been a Fantasy things pick too.

Two lineman.

Hey, you got Notre Dame offensive line coach now the offensive line coach in Chicago Eastan and I talked to him the other day. He said, those are the two best offensive linemen I've coached in my entire career. Yeah, and that's that says a lot. And granted when they're both top ten draft I don't think.

I hear that.

I hear you.

I'm gonna text Mike and let him go.

You really need to listen right around one hour and twenty four minute mark, just to get that that.

Shot fired right now.

Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm I'm not as concerned about the line. You lose two top ten picks, that's a big deal. But they have recruited really well along that line. I think they're going to be fine. Defensively, they should be pretty stout as well, even though their offensive or excuse me, their defensive coordinator went down to Jim Fisher in Texas.

A and M.

But the guy who came in is a Mike Elcho. Yeah. I mean it's disciples.

There's enough continuity to feel pretty good about it.

So the team is going to be good.

It just feels like the real limiting factor is going to be that quarterback position. And so with all the pressure kind of coming down on Bush and then by extension, Brian Kelly, I'm worried.

You've literally become the LSU of independent football team. Oh, I don't know who got that reposition. Every position is filled out with an All American type player except for the one position that you are concerned with.

By the way, Brandon Wimbush could be the starter on LSU. That's true, book, that's true. I am so after hearing a lot about Notre Dame. Who was talking to you about Notre Dame? Dan just out of curious talking at me I just want the end result of this strapt to be like an Oklahoma drill between touch Screen and Blandino. That's all I want, just week after week, just mashing each other. That's all I want. Good pick, it's gonna happen. Excellent pick. Don't don't clap for that, Please don't keep

With the fourteenth and final pick in the twenty eighteen Fantasy Things Draft, Dan Rubinstein selects overly emphatic Tunga Byloa.

Tunguea Biloa, tonguea Biloa.

Because let me tell you, when an announcer finally learns this name, Oh, do we drill this name like there is no tomorrow.

To a Tonga Byloa has taken over.

At quarterback for Alabama h and by the way, could be starting on any other team in the country, so that could.

Be a double whammy for it. There was always something great about Brent Mosberger, which is why we have him on there. When he clicks with the name, as Adam mentioned, and last year it happened for me on our show when I was like, all right, Hercules, mataafa Hercules, and then it was just like Hercules matava. And it feels so good to say.

Well, the other thing we've talked about this on our show. I think former MLB commentator John Miller, Yes, legends still still works for the Giants on radio. John Miller gets a little too into the Spanish accent.

He does, Oh, Miguel Tata, Tata, I've never heard Peltron, Carlos Peltron and won Ouri Babe.

That was probably my favorite one. Did you ever see the SNL sketch where I think it was Jimmy Smith's and it was like an office party and they brought in Mexican food and he was like, yeah, I think I'll have some Hingi lad Us and it was wonderful. And there is an element of that with these announcers to a tongue Malo the youngster from the Islands, and it's going to happen every do you have an Alabama game? I did last year.

I did two of his first game and the National championshiphip, so I had it down pad, so I emphasized it as soon as he came in, and like, I think he came into the second quarter. They're playing Jeff Tedford' Spresno State Bulldogs at home, and as soon as he came in, we were like, oh, we are ready for this. We are gonna nail this. The stories of Marcus Mariota,

But by the way, Marcus Mariota's first game starting was a Joe test game. Who's doing Monday night football?

Now?

Who's who is the money? I think I know exactly what you're gonna say. Four quarters we got to Marcus Mariotta Maria. I think he was doing that in the booths and what was so what was so great about that when he first came out, when Marcus first took the field, Joe said it that way and then said, and folks, that is how you pronounced his name. Let me tell you about how history and kindness work with that annunciation Mario ta.

And that is, folks, how you pronounce his name? And I'm like, no, well, Joe, it's not gonna do well. That was wonderful.

We we kicked around a few other two options. Yes, this was clearly the strongest. Hep me just do his name like the name is.

It's like the low hanging fruit. But it's this will this will be a thing. Can we tell the rosters? The final rosters? By the way, look okay, here we have you finished. The people are hissing, oh a saucy tungled by loa the herms NFL in this. I don't know how often that's gonna happen back half of the season. If they're bad, they're not gonna Oh, they might make fun of the great Blandino is really good. Great, it's so good. I'll tell you I can, I can. I give you a quick quick analysis.

Yeah, give us some third party analysis here.

I'm not sure how much we're gonna see the first one for you, Dan, the crazy strength coach Loose. I'm not sure how often we're gonna see it. I mean he is, I mean now when we get it? Yeah, oh, they are gonna blow it out, yes, and and and mark your announced crews when Holly Row does a game. So that's what Sean mcdonnn and Todd Black that you can almost count on there being a strength coach reference at some point because typically they do big games.

They'll always do a big game.

Oftentimes they'll have an SEC game and oftentimes is that's when we talk about the strength and conditioning coaches because everybody's heard so much about Nick Saban and g and Gus Mel's on and we've already heard the entire story about every coaching staff in the SEC.

So where do we go. We go straight to the crazy strength.

So SEC games and the Holly Row games I think are big and they're gonna blow those out. So that's where I think you're gonna make your hay more often than not on that. I love the taunting kickers and punters. For you new Muss champs, great, the Blandino is gonna win you a lot of points, I guarantee for those of you watching those the Big Game on Fox every weekend. And then for Tie Jim, that's a sterling number one pick seventy five because that's solid, right, that's just gotta

I mean, I think we know now? No, we just got a polite, smattering high team who thinks HI team wins this. There are a couple of people who have just voted president. Yeah, where are my bland nights?

Oh?

I think you have that? I know, I think you have it. Okay, fair? Do we want to Adam can stay up here? Do you want to blitz through our undrafted free agents real quick?

So we've got like a big list here, Like we really put some effort in this, and there were many that didn't make the cut.

Yeah, let's let's go. Mike Leach says or tweets something wacky or problematic. Yeah, sh always a good BETI Kelly went forty six and seven at Oregon.

Everybody knows this, this one could be like this one steal. Yeah, Khali Khalil Tate is Kevin Sumlan's new Johnny Manzel.

Guess who has Khalil Tate? Week one?

That is going to be a direct quote now from in that broadcast. We're polluting college football.

That's what it comes down to. We become friends with people who get effect things. That's very bad.

So do I do I have to go on administrative leave now too? Is that what's gonna end up happening?

Oh, he's gonna cut that from the broad Sea. It's gone bad week everybody, It was a bad week. Yeah, Next, Jim Harbaugh's make or break season has to be Yeah. The seat continues to get hotter. Do we have any Michigan fans here?

I know?

Man, Do you think it's really a make or break season for Jim Harba? No, not really, I don't either know.

He makes too much money and and he does too much to bring in more revenue in terms of publicity for the program.

Turnover chain variations and sideline prompts.

We had the Kanasas State turnover plank, which is so much better than the chain.

Next, marching band gets in trouble for a halftime show or anything considered distasteful like that.

It's only Sandford though, that's not a great pick.

Like ans it says, have you lightning delay with shots of lightning and fans.

Heading out of seats.

I like that, again, not high frequency, but a heavy hitter when it does show up, Yes, footage or a.

Photo of a player's parent playing college or pro sports.

Yeah, I like that a lot of Patrick Mahomes' money there, Patrick Sirtan, Patrick Surtan, you're gonna get some cash with that. Next Lane Kiffin Twitter trolling, Yeah, obviously early and often here you go at him.

Camera captures fan yelling profanity or giving the finger.

When we did Washington State USC last year on our Friday night package, I think we had seven separate shots of somebody just looking right somehow. I don't know how fans somehow find the camera directly across from them, and how they can see the red light that just happens to be on, because cameras when we switch on broadcast, the red light of whatever camera's being taken on the actual show does light up. So I don't know how fans have eagle eye that they could see it from across the stadium.

But somehow yeah, like just I mean with with stand by finger take finger. Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like in the control. So we had seven separate fingers beat amazing thrown out there. Got on the polue that night. Go kooks, here's a good one. Very quiet. Oh yeah, no, I'm ready.

You need to explain escaped zoo animal charges into or creates violent bloody havoc on game Day's Coke zero Real fans.

Z Yeah, now that one's out there, I admit again read that one more time.

Escaped zoo animal charges into or creates violent bloody havoc on game days Coke zero.

I can't even sail these words. Real fan zone, the Coke zero Real fan zone there becomes bloody havoc when an escape zoo animal makes its way into and through the fans.

Again low frequency, low frequency, but perhaps the heaviest of theirs. When that does come to fruition, that's the dern pain catching a touchdown of fantasy things draft.

Pick but I mean, could you imagine game Day's set is completely abandoned, people are terrified, and all of the sudden there is a herd of drafts that are just pummeling that's again.

That's why they give them the home depot helmets.

Yes, College game day justin Safari this afternoon. Yeah, I had to google for us solid twenty minutes whether or not it was the cheese its or coke zero real fan zone for that complete throwaway garbage joke.

All right, let's see NFL coaches picking link Riley's brain yep, uh, J T. Daniels reclassified and should still be in high school.

High school should be his problem in October? Is Texas back? Who knows who's to say?

PJ flex ty not overwhelms his head and obstructs his vision.

Yeah, I couldn't have it.

I saw I thought I saw two Minnesota fans walking. Do we have two Minnesota fans walking?

Oh?

Okay, okay, I wasn't sure if we had, Well, they're too polite to cheer. Or maybe there was the two Arizona State fans with the MAROONA. That's probably what I thought they were. Any any other standouts.

It's fine if there are players only meetings. Love a players only meeting and we'll close out with this one. Yeah, fan gets novelty tattoo.

Yes, that's gonna be this.

That's gonna be a game day story from tom Rinaldi at some point, right, it has to be.

We wanted to include tom Rinaldi comedy bit because again they keep doing them for some reason, and they're always bad.

And every now and again he just like tries it. Let's just throw this out into the wild.

It goes behind a podium, does some kind of read and then goes enough of this and then hits the podium not over and walks off. And because it's tom Rinaldi, it's it's got a quaint.

Charm to it. Ty Dan, the draft is closed.

All right, thank you, mister Commissioner, Adam and me Adam, you guys, thank you, everybody. Well done.

Not many people know this, but there are seven adam Amans that roam the countryside. That's he's all over the place. So there you go.

These are our seven picks. Yes, per side. Yeah, you like yours, I like mine.

Yes.

The audience here has weighed in. Yes, we're gonna put this out into the wild on Wednesday, I think, and we'll see what kind of South Carolina else we get circling back here, just double just making fun of me.

I get it. I set up a meeting. If you want to dial in, here's the code.

So what we would encourage everyone to do is, please, if you haven't already tweet or use the gram hashtag fantasy things, let us know what you think about our teams.

Here.

We'll be uh, we'll be very uh. What's the word I'm looking for.

I don't know.

We'll we'll retweet you, We'll retweet you, and just try to keep the conversation going. Also, if you didn't already know, we are going to be meeting afterwards at a place called.

Standard Bar, Sander Bar about ten and a walk away hashtag tenders with tie tie eats, a lot of chicken tenders and put them away. This we have, we have this, we have the second floor. I don't know we have the second floor. Just give my name or the show's name or something like that. But before we do so, tie, Yeah, you want to answer some questions. I think we're gonna answer some question some questions people have questions. I think if we can get that, that's the only mic that works.

Well, I won't cut it yet because we have to. We have to do the official outro. Oh okay, yeah that's fine, So we need a rout of applause. Yes, my name is ty Hilton Brandt. That man over there is Dan Rubinstein. Thank you for joining us here for our Live Fantasy Things Draft twenty eighteen.

Yeah. Let's stay solid.

Peace.

Yeah,