#314: Penisrine and the Pinkertons

Welcome to the snarts egg. You're about to get your name. He's glazed by the great Chris Rays, Derek black Man, and Tom Swee. Sit back and prepare for some ship. Sit back and prepare for some glazing.

Flady the left. The left are shaking the street horses. Horse seems quite quite quite obsessed. This horse is what about comedy? Bring me comedy great again?

I mean, when the horse is fucking, it's comedy. He's been he's just he's being funned on the end of a large horse's dick, and he's like, it's comedy. Comedy.

The left doesn't think this is funny. His arms are breaking. His arm twists through his fucking skill, laughing.

Two other horse come and hold his hands down. That's crazy.

They take their hoofs off and like little hands are there, Yeah, get them. I'm laughing to the point I'm mostly a mouth.

It's like that image. And anyway, we're the stark tk.

The nerve of you.

Yes, well, going to the stark tak guys me Christmas, uh, that's me, Tim Derek.

Look at that. Very good, very good, very good.

I couldn't by the election of Wisconsin Supreme Court. Oh that's right. I did that.

That's what it was. And Corey Booker, I don't know what that is his his fucking his filipbusters. Is he dating somebody weird? He was Dawson for a while, right, that's what. Yeah, damn luky bitch. They fumbled the bag not together, idiot. He was like slapping those hits like crazy and ship lucky best. Okay, Well he's been she's been fine since I was.

Man, all right, So that happened. I don't know anything about that, jo. I know that he was like bribing people with like million dollar checks come vote.

He was doing it again, right, It worked with the fucking Trump right, the brivery and all this stuff. He spent uh like close to three hundred million dollars on the election.

Sure, and it worked.

He bought it this time. Yeah, yeah, that's all he bought. He tried to buy the Wisconsin to bring corn election. Uh, and was saying this is gonna be the He was saying, it's gonna be so important, it's gonna determine like the outcome of humanity.

And I think there was a lot of people that just on the right. Once Trump won, they went back to not caring about anything.

Right exactly? Yea, So he even with the twenty six million that he poured into this election, which is record breaking, he was slamming fucking George Soros for pouring in amusedly two million dollars like comparatively, like how dare he? Yeah, Oh my god, he's fucking billionaire oligard so that I can't stand the dude so much. But yeah, he got blown the funk out him and his in his lackey.

So yeah, I mean I would take that money and just not like I don't lie, why court for a million dollars?

Why not?

Like why wouldn't like.

It makes to of course, but but you also he you know, he it was.

It's not even like it was real, like it was a pre selected person like ahead of this conservative like think Tank or whatever one million dollars or like a.

Glove company or like we make a mouls, yeah, we make a I mean I would be nice dude, speaking of weird ship before we All Right, So I got a package this morning. It was supposed to be so I got a package. Right, understand what I'm about to say to you. I literally just bought a tongue scraper from Amazon, because I was like, I just wanted your tongue scraper, which, by the way, a lot of people don't do that, which is strange.

I have a tongue scrape has a brush and it's a two sided thing. Oh damn ascraper.

That's pretty sick.

That's pretty good.

I just want to replace it. I was like, I should, I should order one. It's been a while, and so it gets here this morning.

I see it.

It's like, you know, the little Amazon app opens it. It got it has the picture of your package on your doorstep. Yeah, and you're like, ah, cool, it's here. And then I pick it up and it's the address is completely wrong.

Is not even like the wrong.

Apartment or like the wrong like building on the street. It's like a different everything is wrong. And I'm like huh, but like the app is saying, oh, but this is your package, and I'm like, I mean, I guess. So I open it and it's just like a bunch of like what was it like led lights LDS powder?

It was it was sodium citrate. So I was like, who the fuck wants this spicy ice? And say spicy acidic ass fucking salt, Like what the fuck?

Is this, and then like many many bags of like what my brain said, Oh, this is emulsion.

I don't know what emulsion is, but like just lick, I don't know what it is. It's like, well it was like a little it was like a honey, yeah, it was like a So it was like something that was like, well, it's like somebody's making something fucking weird.

That's what my first thought was, like. I mean that the led lights threw me off a little bit.

Yeah, my first I was like with the powder or the salt, and then like and then like the packets they look like IV bags. Literally, I was like, is this someone's well. I thought it was just like a oh, someone medically needs this, like sight unseen. I just I didn't read any of it. I just saw powder and like IV bags full of liquid. I'm like, oh my god, what's going on. Someone's gonna die? And I don't get this to them. But it turned out I looked up

But it's just like I'm wondering if they have my tongue scraper it on, you know what I mean.

I wonder if it's like a mix up pack, but I doubt it because like, what is the likelihood of that?

So there's the l likelihood especially I think like.

I feel like I think they don't get mixed up like point like point, you know.

And also since uh, since it's a business, usually they're handed packages directly because they're just like open, there's somebody's there, Yeah, somebody's there working. And then they go like but here's the question though, when you saw the package, because you know a lot of times they'll do the picture thing sure was was it not like weird that there was a box instead of just a thin package because they would just send like a thin package if it was just a ton.

So my thing was like I got home and I was like, oh, look my package and then like I moved in.

I was like, this is a really heavy tongues graver.

And then I saw the sticker and I was like, oh, this is wrong entirely. This isn't even my package. And then I went inside. I just left it there.

I was like, I don't know who's fucking packaged it sort of itself. And then I went inside. And then the day passed, and then I checked my phone to see if it had like maybe that was like a mistake from some other and then it said, no, your package is delivered.

This is it.

And I'm like, I guess this is it?

Then, like you know what I mean, Like I didn't understand what the fuck was going on. Yeah, so I'm gonna walk it down. But like I was, I was like, who the fuck needs this? I was like, what household needs this?

Yeah, I probably would have.

You did a good thing like searching up the address, because me, I probably would have just threw it away.

Well, I went, I just kept it and made some sort of fucking just figure out something to me.

The other day too, like I'm getting all these mysterious packages. I'm getting like medicine, I got like drugs for.

Some Armenian guy that's dead.

Yeah, yeah, he's gonna know.

He came.

Oh he actually like, which to me is like the right address. Guy, Well, if you know it came here, like fix it?

Wait did it? Did it actually say his address?

Was it like the like the it came to my address, but it was addressed to him and it was like with a prescription all this.

I'm like, so I kept your address and yeah, but it had his name.

Yeah, and then he came. Yeah, he showed up and he's like, you have my medicine. Wait wait was this like years ago when he used to live there and ever changed? I got this these drugs a week ago. Yeah, And I'm saying, you think the guy just never changed the address. So he's like, what a fucking boomer I was? Probably he was.

He was old.

He wasn't like shambling, you know, he wasn't shambling, but he was.

He was up there. He's like sixty. He can't figure out to change the addresses, like he wasn't a chicken lives in fucking Nevadas, Like fu, I got.

There's somethings that.

There's somethings that I know, like I never changed my address for that I wonder about, Like I remember Dollar Shave used to send me all these like, uh you know, oh you're.

Like one of our top sponsored things. He was like a I don't know, weird.

He was a cake made of shaving cream that's gonna kill you. Uh yeah, and like I never changed my address for that stuff. So I wonder if just some random guy just keeps getting like thank you packages from like sponsors that he.

Has no idea why not.

I mean, I mean I was, I would, I would, I wasn't sure how to change it. I think I was just like maybe I'm just not getting I'm sure.

I'm sure.

It's way more simple than you could.

You can well not through that, Like I anything that I would do through that company would have been changed already because they pay me directly, and they would have paid me directly with checks anyway, so if they had my change address, I assume they would have, you know what I mean. But I can't be like, hey, you should change my address and the other things, because I have a feeling I should be getting a lot of gift packages, you know what I mean.

Like it it feels like not getting the gifts.

I'm not getting free things now give them to me gifts, give me my free cake. In fact, speaking of gifts of gifts, you got a gift of seeing the Nintendo switch to Oh yeah, the Nintendo direct tell me out thought, actually, oh what is it April two months?

Oh, June, June.

Juneteenth. That would have been cool, I mean, would it have been Yeah?

Yeah, it's not like they Pintendo Juneteenth.

Because what happened is they would not acknowledge June teeth and be like, I don't care about juneteine.

It's all bust switch to Yeah, especially them because it's Japan. Yeah, there's no shot.

They know what there's like, Yeah, probably I've been playing. I've been playing a little more shadows a shadows and like walking around and then the guys are like like like they actually like look at you and they struggling. Oh, I'm like, this is great. It is funny.

You're all so much bigger than everyone, about a foot taller than everyone on average.

That's why like, he's a samurai. It's really funny.

That's why I like, it's like, no, dah, he went there and terrorized them. He's he's a lebron build.

He's basically NBA like he's like he's one of the Yeah, he's like Lebron, like the type of bill that would be more suited for American football, went and played basketball.

You know what's crazy about that is like us actual cannon height in Realize, do you know what it is?

Actually seven?

He was only five seven, but everybody else around him was simply three six.

I'm not sure what I read, but I'm glad you corrected that.

Yeah about your height about I looked it up exactly two minutes ago.

Yeah, you are right, though, I remember actually reading that just about a minute ago after you said and then I remember seeing yeah, after you said it.

Hasn't been a minute yet. What's happening. I don't know if you're you're I think you're misinterpreting time.

Actually yeah, oh sorry exactly so, so I found out after I've looked it up just a minute after he said that, and I was like, oh, it's very true, and yead is three four.

Hey a black man, I am very very tiny, but actually not because we're all this is the average you're saying.

I know, it's like it is funny because I'm playing on English because I want to be able to hear it.

If I'm like walking out of the right. That's that's the reason.

But like they just say brag.

Yeah, there's a lot.

It's like it feels I understand that that's just how it is. But there's something about the Asian accent that feels more offensive regardless than a lot of a their accents. For some reason, like speaking Chinese authentically, like for like correctly feels offensive, you know, because it's it's because it's just checking ma like you know, especial evil especially can Chinese.

Man, I can't do it.

Yeah, sounds it sounds so dispecial. I speak it like in the way that you should.

I'm like, all this is a feeling.

Everything else is fine, everything like a spaghe you know, yeah, don't you know it's everything else.

Everything else feels fine.

But like I don't know, I think I think the thing is because of the fact that I think it's because it's so phonetically different. Well, yeah, it's just not a similar language than we have, right, so it just sounds silly to us because we're immature and racist.

Some of it sounds so it's like there's it's to me, it's just it's a man I said, I watch a lot of stuff, and a lot of times those natural loser men go to Southeast Asia. You want to talk talk about accents that I want to be respectful, I promise you, But damn, like, dude, Vietnamese tie some of these or whatever you.

Call it something, they pretty much damn near speaks Spanish. Filipinos are no, I'm talking about the one.

But I dropped. But like the Brown Asians, the Brown Asians, dude.

The.

I'm like, holy ship, and I'm trying to be like like I'm like trying to like watch them, like yeah, but then my stupid.

Is hearing a wild I'm like, yeah, it would sound like a drop of water.

It's it's.

You know, like.

Can you do that?

You know some people can do that.

I can't do that.

I don't know how to do it.

But gay, I can't do it.

I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

What should be the rest of the park? I kind of can, but it's like very low, like I can't do it loudly. Well, I don't need to do that though, because I could just.

This would be the rest of the show flicking as the hard arc comes out clear that finally I'm locked, but.

It's like not even your voice, somebody else's voice. Clearly that's awesome. It's like Nathan Lane, like Nathan Filly, and I'm like, it's Nathan. It's over, Nathan.

You're done. Nathan. You were gonna be in freaking the Green Lantern movie. You're fucking I'm ruining the whole DCU. Now that was supposed to be in the Green Lantern movie. I think it'll be how it's too old for how Hel Jordan. He's too old, but it's still he'd be who.

Shallow hell yeah, he's it?

Well no no, no, no, no, no, I know shallow how too? Yeah, will certainly exist will Actually that's kind of crazy.

It hasn't they already showed they alreadyhow got Gardener Gardener. They're gonna do a show gay guy and he's gonna ma is gonna be John obviously because he's a he's you know, he's Mercy Higher of.

Course, of course.

Yeah, he's gonna go up there and he's gonna be like, well, the show we have the Green Lantern.

You know on sucks. It's the show that's the entire time.

Don't like that. His name is also John Stewart For a long time. I was really confused about that. I was like, I was confused before we knew I knew a thing about Jewish Man.

I My confusion was in reverse.

I was because knew about John's Stewart first before I learned about John Steward.

Which I had something to throw it. If I can't throw, this would be a disaster. Be hilarious would be like it'd be hilarious for a minute.

It'd be like, oh that that is the beauty about like say a show like Jackass, where you can do stuff that is unforgivable, you know normally like throw let me throw a glass bottle at somebody. That would be like the end of the friendship. But now it's good content. Asshole And that's like the dude, like one guy got.

You peectum off. Oh do you remember the like there was the it was like a door.

It was like you press the the thing that would project out and it like concussed the dude. It's like and it was like he was done. It was so fucking funny. Don't get me wrong, It was so funny.

But I'm like, that is you literally gave that guy break down. It that's crazy.

That's like, what is it when when they put like the air bags under these people's chairs, the popcorn people.

Yeah, that ship is so much.

So unreasonable, like freezing the year.

Yeah, I took the video that the bear falling out of the tree.

Did you see the deal with air cannon? When a guy air cannon the guy and he died minutes later. Oh, I did see that.

I do know about this.

He put it under his pants, right, Yeah, so it's right, that's right.

It was like I don't know where, I said. I remember that was in a foreign country though it was it was like China probably it was.

That's some factory and some guys like lull and he puts like a pressurized air in somebody's pants, blows it, and the guy just like.

It's really evil, even walks away.

He exploded his call and man is crazy, like how stupid could you be? I think that's like that wouldn't do something insane.

I guess understand. I get to understand that.

I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't have thought that that would happen either, But I also wouldn't have gambled to do it. I don't because my assumption that My assumption is that compressed air to that degree would at the very least like fuck a person's leg up, you.

Know what I mean.

So like I just would I just would have would have aired on the side of safety not to do it. But I wouldn't have thought that, like if you just put it in somebody's pants, they would like up there colon and explode them from the inside. That's kind of wild, but that I would also imagine though, that if you're working with those kind of tools, you have a better idea of that kind of thing happening.

I don't if you're around those.

I feel like when people slash tires, thinking like that's not going to hurt them, Like that's so much p s. I there, dude, Like I saw a guy like machet attire and then it blew the machete back in his arm and it's just like you you do do you not understand Eric?

When the opens the door and he gets like blown back and sold that is very stupid and he's like oh, and they're like, oh, you are right, and it's like you probably broke a rim of his Like you don't do you are around this? Like these are people that are around.

The pressure like they talk about the like people. I guess people need to learn about p S I S. Because it's it's fucking insane. Water. Water can decapitate you.

You can cut water pressure, you get like, yeah, you can cut something with water.

I remember seeing like metal with people fucking using to do find to do some fine cut like water. Yeah, it would be like just like would be like a water jet and then it would just be fine.

I can't step thinking about this guy the factory.

It's just very unlucky too. You're just doing your job and then you're explode.

You don't even know. That's why I like, that's what mormid. This is mormid. But the waste of life is so funny. The idea, the fragility of like someone walking around living their life and then all of a sudden, a fucking rogue baseball domes the baccula. They turned their head and when the back of the head with a bump would be there's a baseball, and it's like you did nothing.

It's just so sudden, random and senseless.

That's why you need to wear baseball helmets. You need to wear tight pants or a tight belt to make sure nobody can penetrate.

I think the tight pants are what did him in though, I think because I think if he had loose pants, I don't think it would have been a big deal.

It would just blown, you know, I think.

So, I think, actually I think what happened.

I think his pants were tucked into his boots because they probably were supposed to be, and then it just created a seal, like the only.

Way that the air could have to go up. Yeah, let's go up into this fucking guy's.

What's happening with the You guys remember those those models, the like balloon pants you never see. I do remember those? Yeah, remember I.

Wanted a pair. I almost bought one, but I just couldn't justify the price.

I would go everywhere in those on average they were about like it was between like nine and twelve hundred dollars or something, and I was like, I can't. I just like it, even for the joke that like I was even I was thinking about guys crowdfund me these pants when I was like.

I can't. I can't go to roll them.

I don't think they'll let me on. I like that one fat kid that fell off the fucking Supreme scream thing. You know what.

Ye oh, my god fucking kid.

Yeah, we got some fat fucking kid unfortunately was like fourteen years old or something like he was in the Fake Supreme Scream you know, like it just like yeah, the budget went. He couldn't fit, and so so the fucking mechanic who was like, I'm going to loosen the fucking thing so instead of it like seal, it'll seal like up. And so he loosened it and then tightened it so it's like, all right, now you can go because it won't actually clamp on you.

That is so crazy.

As he's falling, Nigga slips, out falls one hundred feet and dies.

The fucking live I wanted.

He landed on his feet and he was like oh oh, and then he just went about his day, went back on the rock on his feet. He's et, yeah, smashing, smashing absurd.

I don't know, like like my leg immediately raged. He looks like a real like you put his dementsions in a real person. And then he just jumps back and I love the idea. They only catch it though, after like the they review the footage. You don't frame by frame something.

They're like this is by far, This is by far the stupidest running gag that we have on this show is that somebody going through through a tragedy of an intense trauma dying usually physics involved, and for at least one frame of the physical impact, they resemble damn near a cartoon.

Guy.

I love the idea so deeply. It's so insane.

It's so I think I got it from like there's old cartoons. Like there's a lot of old like flash cartoons where like sometimes like people would fight each other or whatever, and like there would be like one frame where they're like Michael Winslow or something something wild, some ridiculous face. Man, I'm just so obsessed with it. Et to me is the one that's a great one because I think it makes sense.

It makes it like this, it turns into an old British ginger. I think it's funny. I think it's funny because it's so. It's so morph that's how that is how morphed. He is like that, he doesn't he doesn't just look like he is him.

That is. Nigel becoming easy is funny because he is because I can visibly see like his because his head is flat.

You know.

So you can see like the the weight kind of pushing down on his head.

You can see like his body like kind of flattening out, and then his legs are up in his body.

He's landed. So it almost makes you think that whoever designed et probably saw somebody.

And it was like, holy ship, this is a great a heartwarming coming of age. Storburg was like, I understand Spielberg did.

Spilburg just watched the snuff films and people dying all the time. All this idea is me. He's just He's just me. Is it's.

Involved and I'm Steven Spielberg somehow and I somehow go back in time and then I'm Steven Spilberg. You're Steven Spielberg. That's crazy.

That's like as stupid as the blood to Terminator. It's just you go back and then you become this thing, and it wouldn't have happened if you didn't go back. Was brilliant, Oh I wrote. The first time I saw that, I was like like, I was like I was by myself, but I'm looking around like, wait, so cow, he's got a fucking massive ship.

Yeah, what you're talking to the studio audience by yourself as a little kid walk in here like you're giving you're giving the monologue.

Yeah, you're giving comming is the Terminator movie can become the thing if you don't come back in the first place, that become what you don't go back to go back.

Yeah, like you said, like one of.

The what of the what is it?

The Greasers from a cat Dog?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I got about them.

Winslow the mouse in their in their fucking door or their house.

Winslow, Oh yeah, a little mouse. He has like suspenders on, right.

He's got like plaid suspenders. I think, yeah, correctly, he's like yeah, cat.

Dog, caticide.

Everything is like tiny, tiny chair.

I remember I'm always having his hands in his pockets, so I like, like, I remember always walking around like this with his hands in his pockets, So like I like to envision him like with like hanging by a with his hands. How do you react to that actually doesn't break the bad earnestly? How do you react to see like any any individ Like it could be a cartoon character, it could be a person whatever. I don't give a ship like someone's hanging from a noose their hands are in their pockets.

I mean honest, I like the idea of Johnny Bravo doing it because his hands are so bigger than his thighs, his pockets.

He's just big bulges in his past.

It would look it would look kind of it would look almost yeah, it would almost look more like he just kind of chat himself profusely before he died.

His pants would be so full, full full.

I'm out of here. I can't, little lady, I can't get no pussy. I'm going.

I think he does get pussy. I think he just pays for it.

I think I think I think he canonically does. I think we just see him on his off days.

Yeah, I think so.

Somebody of imagine being that horny on an off day exactly. That's crazy.

That's by some Filipino guy too. Wait what yeah that show again? He's that show is like a created by Filipino dude.

Yeah, isn't that weird? Like it seems like a like I'm not. Actually, no, it does make sense if if I know anything about if I know anything about the love over there, Yes, no, they love the.

Karaoke is king hues and generals and really important in that era of like that area of Asia, like when he gets when you just descend from China, like musical, like just singing and probably those kinds of songs, that kind of styles.

Like yeah, dude, that actually, like it does make a little It makes more sense than anything else we've said recently. I get that.

Yeah, the little black kid turning into Berry. It's a pretty it's a pretty outland. Try to make a connection there somehow, there's no way in how he's a small black Oh, you never saw the animation that was drawn of the there's like a Twitter account that's probably just.

Stealing clips from like a YouTube videos or something. But there's these poor animations describing like horrible ways people die. Oh, that reminds me of about thousand ways to die but cheaper. Yeah, And it's is it those like rotoscoped ones?

I think so, it's like it's it's like traced over real footage you're showing you like Chinese accidents.

No, I don't think that's right.

I've seen that.

I don't think that's right. I don't know what it is.

I've just seen it before and I remember being like.

Are these real?

Like they must be? I don't know. I can let me see if I can find this so fast, it's just funny, Like it's because it's like, oh, this is a real person dying in the way that like his eyes are wide and like it's it's it is funny.

It's a real person. Of course, Like you guys made me feel like I'm so crazy for laughing at it like this. Meanwhile, you guys are laughing at the same type of morbide ship.

Well we're laughing. Well, I think we're clearer about it. I think you're a little bit more nebulous.

What does that mean?

Well, you look, you seek this stuff out on burbos.

No, not anymore?

What does that not anymore mean?

I don't not today, I obn't see somebody dying a little while. What is a little while to you? Like, I don't know, like maybe like somebody die. Well, there was this car crashing I saw that was like insane. It was a drive by shooting that led to like them crashing into a building and a building collapsing on the car. And then a guy was getting in his car ahead all.

Right and not answering my question what was this?

Two weeks ago? I said, it's a Derek.

Two weeks said within the month, I said, Derek, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, when when a guy with the drive by shooting that led to the building collapsing on the car, that was crazy and some guy was just in his car trying to leave and he got caught up into it too.

It's like, what the fuck?

That's the worst thing does?

Try to do good?

You trying to live your life, you do good things sometimes then it just doesn't really matter. It's exactly, I think it is worth being kind of bad sometimes. I almost feel that way, not evil, but like just kind of like, don't be great because that's what happens.

Look like I'm in a seacil headspace. I think she's Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm kind of I've teetered. I've teetered that way for quite some time. Yeah, I was much hard hard to be optimistic. I was optimistic. God beat. It's almost like a repeat, like twenty eleven arab Spring happens, and then I'm watching similar things that happened, like with like White Boy.

Yeah, yeah, a.

Stupid joke. It's not really it's actually a pretty good joke, but it's just like it's just like it's just funny.

Because of the subjects are so loudly different. I wish the Arab Spring was like White Boys Summer, but like, I just I went through that. I went through this already.

What a bunch of gins years are going through right now with like the Palestinians and shit, like I went through fucking post like long winded, fucking Iraq and Afghanistan and then just seeing the Arab Spring and seeing such a horrible shit happening, destabilization blah blah blah blah blah.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm so, I'm I want to be Cecil.

Right now, dude, I just want to do like calculating to see so I do I do a better job than Cecil.

I think you Cecil still a little bit has has still a little bit of that, a kernel of his old self and him, Yeah, just a kernel of it that I'm like, I'm at the point where I'm like, get rid of it.

Yeah, do you like I would use.

I use I would have tried to use Invincible as like a weapon to absolutely crush everything that threatens American brother.

I would have I would have said the second I found out that Nolan had a son, that device that's in his head. That would have been in there like day one, I would have killed, that would have been there on the day of the circumcision.

I would have I would have. You think he's circumcised.

Well, I don't know.

I would theoretically, no, he's Asian, he's probably.

Not, probably not. I would.

I don't. Actually, I don't know.

I mean, I'm Catholic, so and they did it to me, so I don't even really know where it comes fro.

I'm going to say they ripped it off clean for me.

A lot of the like napkin, the handful of the handful of Uh. I don't know about that because because I guess I don't know. Culturally what they want in general is usually uh people are cut. So yeah, I don't know how to because hmm, I guess we got to ask our Asian audience.

Yeah, any Asian in the audience, Uh, do you got your foreskin?

Still? Cut her?

And cut cut us downe Wright into our weekly newsletter.

Speaking to Asians. Just get back to the switch straight. So yeah, I don't know.

There's a fucking Mario card game. It's like vaguely open the world. There's a Donkey Kong game.

I don't know, man, I was so I was so bored the entire because I was waiting for like something weird to be there, you know what I mean.

I was waiting for like Gears.

Made you to come back.

No, like Reggie is sucking off the fucking like the console itself.

I'm about to bust back, and these niggas have been wild, and I got to get back to playing Animal Crossing New Leaf on my Nintendo Switch.

Yes, yes, I can unhinge my jaw like a snake.

I I can unhinge my jaw and fold it completely backwards, much like pac Man upon death.

I also spin and vanish.

My family thinks it's terrifying and strange, but I think it's just the way I am.

Dude. Don't mean fucking uh those Uh, it would be actually really fun, dude.

My favorite thing about those is like how cheery the Nintendo the lady is in the Nintendo Direct, regardless.

Of what it is she's talking about. You know this gag on sacred symbols where it's.

Like carry your dying daughter through a horde of the undead in you know the Last of Us Part one kind of Nintendo Switch incur the infinite wrath of a mad machine. And I have no mouth, but I'm a scream coming soon to switch.

Yeah, bars, bars, cur the wrath. They are alway, they're always so cheery about it.

It is pretty good.

I'll oscar Shindlers added again, how many Jews can you shay save in Schindler's list to coming to switch?

That sounds what would the secondary title a list to Schindler's list.

To It would just be Schindler's lists.

Like aliens Chindler's lists. So the games, the game, the consoles, what six hundred dollars for US six to fifty for US? Yeah, five nine, that's right.

Let me look at it.

Excuse me, let me fact check. I could be wrong at it's four ninety nine. Though I hope it's for I can't imagine.

That's what I'm no.

I was already is what I expect. It's still like expensive.

It's annoying, but I guess that's well, it's there's a price. That is what we're playing for it as well.

I just oh, yeah, the fucking screen share.

They showed like a screen share feature on like their game chat, and it was like running at like ten frames a second, like in the in the promotional So I guess props to them for not lying. I guess because they could have just like, they could.

Have easily like, why would Nintendo lie? They don't have to lie, that is true, I'm saying they they The fact that people like it.

Behooves them to you dumb idiots are gonna buy it regardless.

This name runs at one frame per second. That's insane. That's a slide show.

That's just like and then people just, oh, what do I pre order? Oh go, wait to get the new Pokemon for eighty nine dollars.

Cart World coming soon to PowerPoint.

Yeah, these floppiness too, I don't know, God damn it.

Price. Yeah, let me see the Deluxe Edition of Mario Kart for four hundred dollars. That's it.

Why can't I see?

What the fuck?

I guess? I guess I look at the Nintendo God of War coming to the Nintendo Switch play as a nigga that's not really a nigga.

The fact it was hilarious because it shows it shows that they just they don't want it to be easily found necessarily.

Google. Google ain't fucking.

Reliable no more, man, Google. Oh yeah, I wonder. I wonder if it'll know chat GPT my let me let me ask you one hey chat GPT. The Nintendo direct was today and they unveiled the switch to. How much is the switch to?

I forgot? Shut up? Have you heard of Jitler? I wasn't even fucking that was voice chat?

That was stupid, yo?

What's up?

Chat?

So the Intenda directors today, I can't remember how much the switch to costs?

Can you let me know?

Please? I'm so scared you you didn't say I love you. I forgot to say I love you like you don't love me?

So no. It was officially announced Steve, okay, so four wait, so the base model is probably does know it's awesome. The base model is priced at four hundred and forty nine dollars and there's a bundle.

For four ninety nine. So what where's the bundle come with?

Uh?

Probably come probably a Mario Kart.

The most interesting thing about it to me was like mouse controls, because like this wood it doubles is a mouse, which is cool. I like that that's neat, but like I don't really you know, who cares?

You know? How did talk about its capabilities of like, uh, a graphic graphic graphic capabilities.

They can go to one twenty frames though, and can go to one twenty frames and handheld, I know, handheld for.

The twenty frames and doctor can go sixty frames.

Yeah, but how crazy you know it's it's you said one hundred and twenty docs. Yeah, so if I play on my Big Guys TV, you think I'm gonna ge a hundred twenty maybe.

I mean, look, I don't know. They said it could do it, but I like the word could.

It probably was. It took up the entire story.

My favorite thing about it is that could it could? So, like I don't know, man, I nothing nothing grabbed me. I wanted some weird news like I wanted to. I wanted Marcus Phoenix to show up, be like, oh, the Gears Collection's coming. It's just like, oh ship that's doing.

Going to be on air. Yeah, there's a new Spermsoft game coming to it exclusively. Yeah I think so.

Really it's called like dust Bloods or something, but.

Uh, I couldn't care.

Oh souls like get this.

Yeah yeah, No, I don't know, Like I'm not gonna buy a fucking switch to for a fucking from Zobia.

I could give a fuck about that. Really, I don't.

I'm in the middle of it. I'm like, probably the thing is if I buy it, I'm not gonna use it enough.

That's the thing. It's that's why waste this.

Yeah, it is all the new shit gonna come out for the old ed switch, So what the fun? Who cares?

Well? The thing about it too is that like they've just got elden ring, right, you know, it's gonna take them like this isn't like modern hardware really, yeah, you know, so whatever.

It's fine. The games are expensive. That's the point where I'm like, this is expense. Mario Kart was expensive.

But it's like, clearly they must be testing the waters, see how it's so Yeah, for sure, they're definitely being like, well this fuck everything.

Well, I don't know about them actually because they don't care.

Really, that's true.

They could sell you fucking they could.

They could.

They could have done it for like one hundred Yeah.

Probably there's a bag of dirt KRT sixty four of dirt cart sixty four. It's sixty four because it's it's worth there's only sixty four minutes worth.

The gameplay travel at a max speed of Crash Team Racing on Easy in the new Mario Kart World cart World.

I think the game it just I don't know, I kind of I'm in between. I see like the idea of like the uprised versions of the games, but already beat those games. I don't need to get the uppers version of.

Oh did you see that some Switch games won't be compatible too? I heard it says they said there are three types of switch to games, switch two games, switch to compatible games, and then switch to edition games, So not every It seems to me like that's a weird thing. That that's weird because you would you would say up front as a selling point obviously that this is backwards compatible.

Like they did say that.

I did not say that they specified switch to compatible games.

There's no reason to say that some of.

Them that will have some resell value will be the switch to additions.

Right exactly.

They're gonna double it.

They're gonna be like this can run at pen frames more and still look worse than PS five.

But uh yeah, you know that get.

You're not getting it for the you're not getting it for the Metroit Prime is coming to both of them, so you're not getting it for the year of it. Like for me, like I used my I can play my PS five on my Steam dick.

Right, So for me, I'm like, I don't really need I don't need precisely, Yeah, yeah, I don't. I'm not. I don't understand when they do stuff like that. It was like a Ragnarok, I would have had to bout a PS five if it was exclusive to PS five.

Well, I've played it on my They did it for They did that because of the fact that people couldn't grab the PS five No I thought at that point it out of the weeds.

Well, no, what they remember.

The reason they did that, And this is just based on like when I would I've been able to piece together sure from uh data and stuff, is that there are simply so many PS four's in the wilderness, like out there in use still to this dame, dude, people are still there's a still there's still a healthy population playing the fucking Last of Us multiplayer on p S three.

So like people on PS four are.

Still playing, and so they're like, fuck, that's a lot of money we're leaving on the table. Also gave to it's expensive as fuck now, like we can't really get away with spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a game that isn't going to be available to our widest audience possible.

So that's what's happening around that time.

Were people still struggling to get PS five's when it came out.

Remember with rag Rock that was like maybe like a year or two that that lasted.

Okay, because yeah, this is I guess my only we're still getting cross gen stuff.

We're still getting shit that comes to PS four. It's crazy, it is kind of that's that's it's interesting to me that, well, this was my argument. I guess it's not even because it's still a good thing. It was good.

It was a great thing for me.

Only had to buy the game, right, Yeah, But what I'm saying is how many people are out there just like me that absolutely would have It wouldn't have been a question.

It's like, well, I'm not going to not play the game. It definitely going to buy a PS five.

It would have been a lot, but it wouldn't have been.

You don't think it would have been one hundred and fifty million the first second, like it like exists on PS four, you know what I mean?

Like that's what it is.

Ultimately, it's just like there's so many people there are still active all the time using this thing.

Sure, uh why are like?

Why? I wonder I would if I was a business person, I would have tried to gamble and be like, no, these consumers if we if it was exclusive, they would have saved their money to upgrade their console and buy the new fucking game.

It wouldn't have been as many as you got. The people have, But just how many hundreds is that?

It's like, so let's let's extract all the people that had the PS fours and now it's times that by the fucking what six hundred dollars? They essentially just like the one person paid. I feel like it could I would have been a gambling man. I would have gambled on that board, would have kicked me out, would killed I killed?

I do think I would have thought the same thing where it's just like, well, dude, you have a new machine. Don't you want people to feel like they have something on the new machine that they you know, you know what I mean. Don't you want to draw to it? Don't you want people feel like they're getting something that they don't exist on this machine, Like it makes sense.

Yeah, and budgets are fucking crazy.

Yeah, I'm not a like Granta thought of six easily over a billion dollars to make that's easily. Yeah, I'm not even it's not even it's which is I mean the crazy thing is that's gonna be exclusive actually yeah, which is actually crazy. But the thing that's uh no to a modern like current get so it's not coming to PS four. I don't think I couldn't imagine.

Yeah, it's it's it's at this point, I can't care.

It's it's fine. I feel like it's fine. It's the cycle it's been. It's been enough years to worry poor people succeeding when they're poor. Like, I'm done, that's crazy. I'm sick of THEO.

But yeah, I mean the whole Devil's Advocate thing aside, Like it's it's a good. Yeah, it's great. It's it's cool that they still do that, like come on, like yeah, yeah, it's it's not. I don't think it's necessary because I said, at this point, I feel like as a consumer, I

Yeah, it's current.

Yeah, so but uh yeah, man, it's just it's it's just it's expensive special games. Now, it's fucking ridiculous.

That's you used to be able to like, yeah, you used to be able to make You used to be able to make an exclusive or like make like okay, this is next gen only and you get your money back pretty quick.

You know, you'd make less if you didn't make it for both for sure. It's like Tony Hawk, you know what I mean, even back then they were doing that, like, oh here's Tony Hawks pro Skid three for PS one n PS two. That's crazy, what I mean, they were still doing that a little bit because they were like, let's get as much as we can. But now it's like you can't, like you gotta, you gotta really have it made. You got to be rock Star or like you know, frum Soft or something you know to How.

Fast do you think.

How fast do you think Rockstar will make back their money? I think immediately, Yeah, I think. I think.

I think within that first week they'll have recouped their budget. That's well, like microsransactions alone.

Do you think on micro transactions within the first week? Yeah, okay, crazy within the first week? Interesting, I think they'll make Do they make so much? I don't think make that's ridiculous. I just didn't. I didn't think, like I didn't consider I guess, well, I'm not a micro transaction guy, so I'm not considering like, oh I can't wait to get in the game and buy something immediately.

But that's probably what they'll sell.

I think they were Yeah, we're not those people, though.

I think that'll play. They will sell fifteen million in the first week minimum.

I think that's safe. Yeah, that's I think it'll maybe maybe even in fucking day one.

I think it's going to be so stupid, like we I think we genuinely can't fathom how insane it's going to sell, because no matter where I go on the internet, there's a stupid GTA six joke that.

People it's always on their fucking minds.

Yeah, I'm kind of I'm excited, Like we don't have these moments often, no, you know what I mean, Like it's kind of like half like three finally coming out. It's just like I don't even I wouldn't necessarily even care, but like, whoa, you know.

That's like a big deal. It would be cool, like yeah, like holy shit they did in that game. Like I like, for me, that game is very much still going to live and die based on how good the storytelling is.

Oh for sure. Yeah that's how that's for me.

So that's a rock Star game, well modern anyway, WHOA, A lot of people are gonna play that game, to play that game, and I'm.

Sure, yeah, it's here, let's play it.

I might even I'm going to I'm going to get it because not only do I like it, Lily loves that game as well too, so I'm gonna get it for her. And then it's gonna be hilarious seeing what the fuck happens because the storytelling is like up the part from what Modern rock Star is. That's gonna be insane.

It'll be cool.

Yeah, I just hope do I think it is.

I don't know if the story of I don't know GT is exactly allows the same kind of storytelling as Red Dead. It's definitely different character us, but we'll see. I'm I'm very I'm actually optimistic. I'm like, probably they've never really tried because it's like, it's just it's.

It's because of the tones of the games are it's supposed to be like right like with with with with Red Dead, it's it has a serious tone to it like this, it's kind of like, uh, we don't. It's it's like how the way Scorsese sees films is what I'm saying. There are certain genres that are never respected in a way that like it may be a fucking unanimously everyone loves this ship, but it's never gonna be like respected us. That's a great compelling story, if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, I.

Feel like that's like that's what's gonna happen extended.

A lot of people feel about animation, you know, what I mean, it's like for some reason, people like, oh, it's an animated movie, doesn't count for like Oscar whatever exactly.

And I'm like, that's why I feel like that's what's gonna happen with GTA six, even if the story is pretty fucking good, like yeah, what.

I reach my kill cops, I'll like, yeah, it's gonna be like this is a contemporary This is like a modern day three person shooter who cares.

Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't have like cowboy hats.

You know, it doesn't have cows.

I mean, I honestly like, dude, like I think, I don't know what the I don't know. There's no like iconic. Oh there's a woman now, yeah, I think. I I think people overstate Red Dead one as being like because where Dead one is fucking wacky, Like it is more grounded than like, you know, g T A is by a mile, but I think it's more like GT four than anything else. It's like it's grounded and still like, I mean, the snake oil salesman is so stupid. There's there's the dumbest character I've ever seen.

Full but it's silly.

I don't know if I agree.

Really is very silly. Well, I mean you can do silly ship in it. It's I think the fucking there's silly characters in it. Silly characters in it to the extent that they were in.

Red One with a fucking vampire in the back of a building that's an easter egg.

Well, I mean character like, I mean people you interact with, who you do missions, you know what I mean. Yeah, I can't.

There's there's nothing popping out of my head. Like, but even when it comes to Red Dead One, like that's like you said, like that the snake old guy, Like, I think he's funny, he's good, he's good a comedy relief.

Yeah, a lot of the characters are just like what I feel like I wouldn't, especially Southern text is just the dumbest people alive.

Probably why it's like very a lot of you have a lot of stupid interactions. But yeah, it's you know, this tone is very serious. The pinker tins are fucking or the agency fucking bill fucking shoots you and ship immediately like the tones all, you know, like it's all like it's I remember at least because I really the funny thing I think about it, I've only played Redded Redemption twice, and I'm only played red Did two twice.

Yeah, it's kind of funny when that's right, that's a lot.

Reemp to. I just got the sand Anees again and I'm like, all right, I'm not actual st Dennis. Oh yeah, yeah, it's actually it's finally at the point of the game where the game is entirely open me. I can do whatever I want. And I'm like, I'm just fucking I'm a monster. I'm killing horses in the street. I'm blowing women's heads off like I'm just I'm just I'm a god.

And this one that's what you do.

As one should, as one should, It's customary. Real quick.

I I went a little bit forward with the Acy Shadows again. And I know we mentioned this briefly on the other episode or the previous one, but I really am convinced that they did something wrong with the way that ships like the Lney because again, I'm pretty I'm deeper into the game now, not much deeper because I'm still doing way too much side ship, trying to upgrade my ship.

But I had another yacht.

I had a Yaske flashback, and then you're you're learning how to become a samurai and then I'm doing these like it it almost feels like a edatorial again because I'm fighting with you know, just like the sticks like you said of like it's not steel, but it feels like I'm like what I'm why am I doing I'm doing like I've done this, like I know, it's weird. It feels.

I'm confused. I feel like this hash to it's so weird.

It's weird specifically because it's like, okay, look, you can do flashbacks right right of course, but then don't like teach me how to fight, yeah, or do things in the game like show me like I don't know a narrative thing that's important, and then I'm able to do all this stuff that I normally am able to do,

Within that flashback, this is when you finally like become.

A samurai, right like or like he's like, all right, you're a Samurai. What should we call you? You?

You?

You kill these people from this rival school whatever of your sin say not not a spoiler. This is double light bullshit. But like I'm fighting them without any of the stuff that I've obtained in the game, and it feels so flashback stupid, and I'm like, I am too deep into this game. I'm probably twenty hours deeper something. Granted again, I've been doing a lot of side stuff, but I'm like, it just feels impossibly wrong, Like it almost feels like I'm like this they you.

They definitely restructured the shit out of it. I think I said that in the last episode two, Like they definitely like edited this somehow.

Why is the question, like.

You know it is actually now that I think about it, uh huh.

I think they probably again this is all budgets, but like I think it's like they made a bunch of stuff and then they realized, like, we can't start the game this way. We started here, and they find a better starting point. And then they were like, oh, but we made all that stuff, like everything that we made, like all those levels, that's like millions and millions and millions of dollars. We can't we can't just throw Yeah, we can't just throw it away.

It's like, you can't.

It's like fucking Ragnarok with the fucking garden where you're picking paints and shit where you want to kill yourself. Yeah, any sane person would have cut that. Any sane human being would have been like, this is long not interesting. Make this this just take this sequencing gameplay and make it a cut scene or something. Yes, where they were like, but they were like, look at we spent so much money on this environment. I'm convinced that that's the reason.

You know.

I defy you to find any information about anything that has been cut from a game in the last five to ten years.

I'm not even kidding. Where is it? I haven't seen a video, but I haven't seen an essay about it. I haven't seen I know there's content cum from balders Gate three, like what like a bunch of dialogue content What do you mean like voice recording, like whole lines and like admissions like that cut from the game.

That's a big ass game too.

Yeah, yeah, there there was way more.

I can at least the lines can make some sense to me.

Because I know I knows to have more of a story than he did. Oh have like more the're.

Supposed to or did, and they couldn't get it working or get a pacing right, and then they just and they just cut it away. Because it's one thing to have things planned, it's anything to make it. Like, dude, there are entire levels in Hailto that are made and then they're just like, nah, we don't got time to figure it out. There's a bunch of like in this day at even like make it a fucking I don't know, miche horn it some way in there.

You ever saw you ever saw the thing with Carlow? She can read minds and she ends up reading your character's mind and realize your carriers being played by a person and she's like, what the fuck is going on? You're a guy in there?

No, I didn't see that.

It's like some super medas. Yeah, and she's like and I'm like, so you stop, bitch, I'm feel really uncomfortable. Funny stopped talking directly to me, making me upset, breaking the immersion, bitched up. I don't want to I don't want to marry you anymore. If you're.

Can you imagine dude that It's like I was just thinking of that. Yeah, but yeah, dude, as like one thing, you know, I think artists, we all kind of learned this the hard way is when you find you finally like kind of level up, when you learn how to scrap things, even things that you've put countless amount of hours into, when you're like at a certain point, you're like this is just not working out, and then you just abandon it.

Maybe you can come back to it at some point and have it be something.

But it's just when I started seeing a lot of bands back in the day, when you would see their b sides of oh, here's we wrote twenty songs and then we just chose like ten, and you're like, holy shit, dude, there's literally just as many songs that a lot of times never see the light of day, and you just have to be content with that.

Like all untitled, fucking kindical mars On title album that's a whole B sides in the Butterfly that is, in fact that beter than mult people's entire discographies, and it's like, this guy cut a B side better than anything you've made.

It's interesting, and that's all like, yeah, it's same thing the gaming industry. Things work out like fuck, we spend all this time and effort money onto this, but sometimes it just doesn't work, and sometimes it feels unfair. I remember, like certain actors even being a part of like the background acting stuff, You're like, oh, oh, they cut out this entire thing. I'm not even in the shit anymore. Like that sucks. Well, I got paid, so whatever. At

Shadows. It's I just don't under that the idea of a flashback, while like the idea of learning from a flashback when you're already done it is really insane.

It's just like doing things like should have been in the beginning. It should have been in the beginning, all this stuff and then and then also the only thing I can say to the counter but also not is that, Okay, you don't have to do that stuff. You could just kind of like do the stuff more in a more linear way. But also to me, that de feats the purpose of an RPG, where like I want to wander and just stumble upon stuff like I'm doing, and then

You can I imagine to further the act? Probably not, but I think that you can.

Probably It'll probably be like GTA, where you further somebody's story as much as you can until you have your force to switch. Like every time switches off, I get like the you know when people say the contrast the that bothered them a lot. It is bother some when you just want to do something on the fly real quick, like oh I want to grab something real fast, I'm like,

Yeah, it's like really specifically. Oh she he can't climb this?

Yeah, so that I'm like, I'm just like, why can't you ask use a hook? Why can't he grapple?

Like I know he's a big man, but he's strong and muscular. That's how they kind of they boxed themselves into the corner with that one. Yeah, they were like we can if the second we give him the hook, it's you know what I mean? Yeah, Like it's just the whole premise goes out there. Have you tried the eagle dive with so fucking funny? It's funny like the first time, and then like the second time it's funny, and the third time it's amusing.

So far you do I've only done it three times and he said something different each time. I wonder how many lines he has.

Yeah, And I was just it kind of struck me as like, this is cute, but like it was.

More than eagle dive. After the first time you're doing it, he's like, Hey, I'm not.

I'm really not built to do I'm a giant man that gonna explode the haystack. It would be kind of funny if they disallowed you to do it after a while. That would have been interesting to do. The the animal stuff sucks. It's like I have only ran into what was it? Just it's barely there, So why is it? Well, you know, I've made that argument for so long. I'm like, dude, at this point, because I know there's people that like it. Yeah, and I think at this point, I think I'm gonna be honest.

The originals, I don't know, the original has to be story got so fucked up the second like they fucked it up entirely within and I think, uh, in the Brotherhood, I think they ruined it.

They killed him. So basically no, well that's the end of three later.

Yeah, spoiler order for Desmond Miles everybody's favorite hero.

No, so like in it has agree to they basically like have this weird plot point moment where like Desmond gets mind controlled and kills like a friend of his And at first you're like, oh, weird, that didn't that didn't seem telegraphed at all.

I wonder if they'll pay that off.

They don't.

Uh.

And I found out only like the last couple, only in the last week that I find this out because a lot of Pierce made a video about it because she was like obsessed with the original Assassins Creed story was that like they killed her character because she just she wanted to be paid royalties.

That's right, that's right. I forgot about that.

So that so then they just killed her character like to avoid paying her and then it completely fun like it just no, now it just doesn't make sense.

Wait what do you wait, I'm sorry she played a character. No, Alana, what happened? She's our age. I'm confused.

She made a video. She made a video about it.

Oh, I feel like it was a really reasonable I'm like, they killed her character and I'm like, wait, what they killed this character?

That was like the whole point was that she was like an undercover assassin working for a stairgo or whatever the fuck, and then she breaks you out. And then because because she wanted money for royalties or whatever, they were like, actually, she's an undercover templar killer killer, so she just becomes a templar. There's nothing to set that up at all. It also doesn't make sense because why the fuck would you break somebody out of your own like it, none of it makes sense. They they just

That definitely seemed like in.

The future though, well, no, they were.

I mean they were like a dystopic modern It was like a modern day, but it was just like dystopic kind of.

It was like contemporary. Yeah, so it was like two thousand and eight around that time.

And then isn't wasn't Desmond, this is what it had The aliens though, right, the other other aliens, not.

The the idea of the not the they had gods or something. There was like it tightened anim and even like Nephalem.

Ship, you know, yeah, because initially wasn't it like didn't the people that put you into animals in the first weren't they like a set of aliens themselves?

No? No, I don't know. They were just they were just templars. They were just watching a video essay. If somebody theorizing that or something, I know, I didn't.

I'm confused. I remember hearing that somewhere. And then eventually it's like these actual aliens straight up like after they get to like black Flag and so they're straight up just like alien.

Oh I don't know about but I don't know anything posts three to be like, no, they're just straight back no, because uh, after three, they really abandoned anything in within the story itself.

They really stopped exploring like deep into the animals. Like four, they're still doing some stuff like your first person controlled Uh, and then you're still doing a few things, oh goodness, and you do a little bit of wandering around the office and stuff like that. It's little t bits here and there, and that's the last of it really having anything. But it was so inconsequential. I don't even remember most of it because I just mean, it's such a back seat it didn't even matter anymore.

All it did at this point was is immersion breaking.

At that point, it was like it was like, guys, you either need to do it like it was with Desmond, or just don't do it at all.

Yeah, And so then who because they do all of because even when you start off freaking the news from Shadows, they show all those other stories. How do they connect to each other?

Whatever? Well, it's just like, what do you mean, like, how do the stories connect? Yeah, well, it's not about it's not necessarily about them connecting. It's there are because you know the idea of the animis is the ancestor and pulling you know, through the DNA their memories.

It could have been different people are extracting.

Well there, so there's people going to the animis that are and then they're through their memories. They're extracting data, they're extracting artifacts. They want to find the stuff. Right, that's essentially what has been the entire point of gaining power this knowledge.

Blub blah blah. So I thought the point was that like it was it was one person, and like that was different variations of their family thought history. He thought it was one person. What do you mean, Because I'm still kind of attached to the idea of Desmond, right, so they kept going back in Desmond. The whole tree upstrgo has many people in animasies there you go.

That's what I thought. That was a particular case where it's like he was your blood there. Well he was like a big like you know, he was kind of well he was you know, he was he was the he was the catalyst in that story until he died and then so then they just get killed on some random bullshit.

No, well, well, I mean I don't know how random it.

Is, but I mean it's not random in the sense of the story. It's it's random for the build up that they were going for.

He's just like, ah, the ever become assassin himself?

No, well that's kind of that's the most got there and he did it, yeah, and almost he almost doesn't. Then he dies, which is so crazy because he spent like three five games up until that point if you count Brotherhred revelations, like learning how to become an assassin.

Like he's doing all the parkour stuff.

Ye, Like it's a point.

Retaining.

It's a point I think in the game that it's unusual that he's like retaining abilities outside of it, like he has ego vision and shit, like it's not normal.

Yeah, and it's just like, oh, what, so you're kind of like a special case.

I remember that because I remember like seeing the part of seeing the like mission where he dies. He's like doing stuff to get there and then he dies and I'm like, oh.

Yeah, like he sacrificed himself for like humanity or something. Yeah, But then like it turns out it's like, oh, the God was tricking him or something.

So it's just like great, it's always yeah, it's it's been like that it's supposed to be like a whole like you know, thriller thing, spy thing thing. Like it was interesting until, like I said, once it Desmond ended, I personally couldn't care less about the animus anymore. Absturgo. I just want I'm like, let's just I just like,

That, and you interact with some of the gods at some point and then you meet then you meet other gods who are just aliens pretty much, and they're like, here's Thor, actually, here's Anubis.

Yeah, I don't know, and it's like, huh, I like that stuff.

I don't mind did this.

I don't really mind that stuff.

To me.

It's just like I was actually genuinely into the whole pre Like, I think the reason why I was pretty successful is because of that weird dual premise that they had. Originally, like it was like really interesting for that time. Yeah, like the whole like sci fi, but it's like an ancient history game. It's like what the fuck is going

That's why. I mean, there's like there's that whole Diehard Desmond sucks. There's a whole there's a whole people were waiting for the potential for him not to suck, and it never happened, and it was about the.

Not suck that he died.

Yeah, there was a whole, there was a whole community. It was clear that they didn't know what to do, so they killed them off.

They didn't know what to do.

I mean, it's it's it's so obvious, like we don't know what to do, straight up, we we they they the entire premise and then when a direction where let's just focus on making the game fun instead of uh, being liked.

They kept having a hard time finding reasons for Desmond to go into the animus. It's very funny because like there's I think in Revelations. I never played it, but I was like looking at looking into it. It's just like apparently in that game, like you're just kind of in a coma and they just like they don't know, they can't take you anywhere, so they just put you the enemies. As far as as far as I do, I could be wrong, but like Desmond's in a coma a lot.

He's taking that he's damn near brain.

He might honestly, I would have not even died. He might have actually just been dead.

He might have just invented everything post Assassin's Creed too in his brain because he's so damaged.

He's just sitting comas house in a bed.

Guy is the most redeemed character in the video game, like a character that goes from being like a shitty character, so like, oh, this guy's character is actually pretty cool.

See that's that's a question. I feel like it needs a lot of deep thought. Yeah, because this immediately I.

Would say ride in Probably I still don't like that nigga, but he definitely. He definitely glows up the most.

Probably Crash definitely.

Crash. Yeah, Crash was an evil son of a bitch.

I never saw in the law.

You don't know the law of crashmanicoot.

No, he's a shithead.

Actually, yeah, what do you I feel like, No, he's like chaotic, he has no guy, that's what the masks are the master like guidance for it, because he's such a fucking just distressing force of just chaotic nothing where there's just like he did. He just acts completely independently of any like good intent. I feel like he's not a bad guy, though his sister isn't so.

She can talk.

No, Crash is like a bad person.

No, yes, And the whole thing is like the masks.

Are like guiding him to like doing a good thing for once. That's actually that's the law of crashmanic. He just misbehaves, but he's not like hurting people. And I made all this time piece that's I was like, Crash, that's not didn't work. I was like, Crash being bad is so insane because he's just like, yeah, I was kind of not bothering anybody.

Everything was bad. I said that he just was he's chaotistically uncaring.

Everyone's chaotic, every main character and everything's chaotic. That's the nature of them. No, not necessarily name a non chaotic good guy and the protagonist of the Lex Friedman podcast, the protagonist of this podcast, that's insane. Every main character of gay video, except for like maybe I don't know, like Chris Redfield and those kind of niggas are like, actually good.

Guysfield is absolutely chaotic. What do you mean he puts a fucking boulder into it? The boulder. It's not the boulder you said, riding? What about what about Gray Fox?

Any think he has more of a redemption Gray Fox?

Yeah? And Gear solid.

I don't Fox just die well?

No, he fucking well, he sacrifices himself to give you a chance to be middle Gear.

That's true. If I'm mistaken, yes, because Fox is to the highest rank, that's the highest, right highest ache. Yeah. Without great Fox, you would have been fucked. And then he got cyborged up and he was about to kill and he.

Was like no, no, it is like Noah, and then he fucking like comes on fucking metal Gear and then Meddlegar stumps It's crazy.

I'm fucking man, I'm so mad.

I'm I'm sorry for all the the Snake Eater heads like middle Gear Solids, the Goat for me, dude, and I just I don't want to wait, but you to wait fucking how many years to get a new remastered metal Gear Solid seven the first one? Yeah, like Jesus Christ, because we gotta wait for fucking two now, and.

Hopefully it just did. That's genuinely crazy to me. Look, snake Eater, I'm the best one. I also think the best one. I think I have my I have my opinions was.

The person that hates like stuff when they baking too much realism into a game.

There's a lot of ship. There's a lot of ship going on, okay, especially in two thousand, like what fucking five or six?

Yeah, And I was like way too young, and it was like, look at all this you gotta eat.

I'm watch off for the crocodile and you had to tranquil ass a gun and it's like, how do I stop this crocodile with a tranquilizer gun.

I'm ten, but I love that fucking game. I don't know I have, I have nothing but love.

It's good.

I'm just I'm obviously also extremely biased because just there's this Metal Gear Solid. It's just it was probably the first, well it was the first. It must have been the first stealth game I ever played. I can't think of anything else. It maybe not, but I just can't think of anything. I can't think of anything on I can't think of anything. It must have been that. I'm just gonna go with that. It's it's the first anything that made me. Of course, how old I was, I didn't get most of the stuff.

I didn't understand.

I was the first one for I never played.

Yeah, I played the funk out of it, but like I was just way too stupid, too uh, way too inured to understand how pretty complic game actually is.

Pretty it's pretty cool game series. It's fucking insane.

I mean just like literally the act of playing it, uh for me playing Medal gir Solid one time when.

I was younger two, because too, I feel like I was progressing but not understanding what was happening.

I feel like I was just like I was on a ride that I.

Didn't understand the right way, and I was just like, what the fuck is happening? I played, and ever when I got the sword, and I was like, yeah, I got a sword, and then the way you use the sword in two is so fucking stupid. I was like, why did they even give me this? What was the point of me getting this? The flex bullets? Badly?

Like badly? I was, dude, I was.

I remember playing with my cousin and my cousin was like, dude, oh you got a sword of finally like do cool stuffing. Every was like yay, And then you were like, yeah, all right, man, it's a that's a PS two game game.

Yeah, what is your perception of it?

I mean, I played it, That's it all I knows. I was there.

Do you not have a delineation of like generations.

In your mind at that time? Not really, you don't remember because I wasn't turning it on. The absolutely jumping quality from like looking at snake versus you know, it's crazy. It's crazy in my brain right now they look almost as they look probably the same than me IMPS. I played them when I was This is also nearly two decades ago. You're not that much younger me. Crazy.

You would not see that because that jump is the biggest jump I.

Can at least see now in between those games.

Like graphically, no, I just mean graphically between games or between generations, like it's ridiculous.

I think PRES two to p S three Xbox era.

I think that was also, but like, no, really, I think no. PS one to PS two was great.

PS they looked humans PS two to three sixty, and that that was big because it looked like human. PS two to three sixty was bigger than the generations we've seen from PS three to PS four and PS four to PS five, for sure, But like PS one to PS two was outrageous.

Why it was so outrageous because the faces were just they were.

I don't think they'd have a face. He had like angles, bro spider Man, I remember the Spider Man game, like and his hands were like boxes, you know, and like he come on.

Don't show me, fucking they're not showing me. They're they're showing me everything except for what I'm asking for.

The original.

Yeah, they're showing me like even like, oh, just one snake I'm doing I want you to well, I can show you. I was trying to show them side by side, you know, well, but here's here's just one like where he's just a blurry.

Of course, his eyes were ideas.

That's even like, I don't even that's twin Snakes.

I think I don't even think that that's because I twin Snakes. I I played sold one kind of recently.

You're probably, I mean, you might be right.

Let me see I can find because it is that is the version right when snakes, which upsets me that I can't own that on anything else.

It might be on the switches fucking new thing where it's like.

If they did that, Oh, you're right that one snakes. You're right.

So that's yeah, I remember that. That's what Yeah, remember that.

That is outrageous.

That's what the remnd that's what I see that. No, No, I can see Ryden's face and then look at this.

Like that is like from going from that to this is crazy going to it. It really is funny, not face to distinct features. Yeah, p S two, PS two too.

PS three was more like, okay, so there's more definition here, but like straight up like on PS one, characters just didn't have face.

That's great.

They just didn't have a mouth. Yeah, you know, I.

Remember their mouths wouldn't move, you know, they would they would talk to you and it would have the camera would cut to them so that you would know that they're talking.

Yeah, it's uh yeah, man, that's great man. But Fight Night that was something Fight Night two thousand and five.

Yeah, just like what I remember being blown away.

By that, not like used. There's not much to animate, so you can use all of the you can part your resources into the characters exact.

Yeah, like you're not gonna have like an open world with like weather effects and ships. And he was like, hey, make this guy look like a guy.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's always cool.

That's why I always when I was a kid, I'm like, God, why the fucking like fighting games look so much better? And it's like, well, yeah, no ship. Yeah.

In retrospects, it's very obvious, like you think about like even just like even comparing things like uh, what is it fucking Grand Theft Auto like Vice City and stuff to other games on the p S two, it's just like, why does it? Why does this look like shit?

You're like, oh, because there's a lot of it.

Notoriously, I remember playing San Andreas and I'm like, this game looks fucking awful. I love I could go so like endless all I'm going up this that Mountain was more data than like probably most games that.

I Yeah, I was like, you'll love the fucking the ports where you used to wiggle the car big, you just wiggled the car.

Why that is so?

I wonder if those are good?

I'm there finished now.

Yeah, they did have that, uh that surprise fucking patch. Yeah, that's cool.

I want them to do that too. They finally upgradated and it actually works now. I played it like a week ago and.

Right, you're right, I forgot about it recently. It's actually really fun. It's still as fun as it was before. Yeah.

I love throwing bombs and rooms with fucking droids in it. Yeah, stupid as droids much. How much was it when they dropped that.

I don't remember, like forty s with the definitive edition with them what what was the whole title of it? The Dranda Potto. Oh, I don't know.

I think it was like a long stupid title, wasn't it. No, I don't think so.

I think it's the GA Trilogy Definitive Edition or something. I thought it was longer than that, but it might have been something. I thought it was something.

I just remember. It's sounding really stupid, but look it up. I really remember pot five titties.

Anyway, we're gonna go read uh fucking questions from our patrons over a Patreonic compass a snark tank. Now remember you could go over there five dollars.

Oh yeah, oh I see, it's a year.

You're right, It's just it just sounds long wind to be because it's Grand Theft Botto the Trilogy, The Definitive Oh yeah, the trilogy is kind of weird. Yeah, I thought it was. I thought it was GJ trilogy. Who the Trilogy the Definitive Vision? Like, all right, that is that is actually crazy?

But popping over at patreon dot comast is snark tank ask us a question, fucking folgers, the best part of being gay is.

A long dick in your ass, wrote in you didn't even try.

Yeah, it's those are the best ones in your butt anyway, it was the.

Best part of fucking But is penis in your butt?

So dumb? So terrible?

He says, Hey, guys, just got done watching the the Nintendo direct I didn't even know that was just really happened.

Yeah, there are so wait what is the same.

And saw what they were doing with Metroid Prime four giving Sam as psychic powers for some fucking reason. Uh, what powers would you give your favorite protagonists that they never have ever showed sign any signs of having. Like if you master Chief flashed speed force for no fucking reasons. I like that idea I would give. Uh, I want to give crash bandicoot telekinesis.

Yeah, I feel like that's way more dangerous thing. No, I think it's I think it's exactly as dangerous as I think. I know. I fact think it's more dangerousing.

I want him when he's spinning to do it with his mind as well, and everything's around him spins.

He's like a little Carnada.

I would give. I would give. It's like giving cradles the belity to fly for some reason.

He damn near can he.

I think he literally can.

He's so strong. Yeah he does.

He does still in his wings so he can glide.

But the funny thing is he's like he's he's so strong, he could be like the Hulk. He could just jump fucking cities if he wanted to, But he just doesn't, you know what I mean, Like he just doesn't do that.

Not anymore.

It's it's bound on his hamstrings.

Yeah, seeing him flip flip the sky was like what the fuck? That moment is such an insane moment because because the only person a Treys has the same reaction you do when it happens, where he's like one, suck boy, I can do it and he's like dad, that's like flipping the sky, Like what do you know?

He just.

Streng and like did you just do that? Like he's the only person, like he has the proper reactions. Other gods would be like good job.

He was like, I'm always I always find The craziest moment of that was when in two, in the opening sequence of the game, the colossus that's get zapped by Zeus to come and kill you, it tries to step on you, like it busts through the building and then he tosses it and I'm like, this guy is so impossible.

How many tons is this thing? And he tosses it.

I'm like, what do you even do with that?

He's like at least as strong as like an anti.

Yeah, like yeah, leasas strong as a human answer. It's insane to think of how insane those characters are, because in the New One, Freia almost kills that.

Nigga like she in the very beginning of the game, he didn't know who that was. I think I think he's weaker.

Now, for sure, I.

Think that's a little bit weak. Is definitely weaker.

But also I think it is I think it is. I guess I shouldn't say obvious, but it seems obvious to me that if he had a vandetta against Frey, you would have killed the ship out of her. Yeah, but like she's incredibly powerful to where he still couldn't really defend her. He could offend her off. Well, he still gets stabbed.

Do you ever just him in the beginning of the second one? Did you ever do different sequences just to see how she kills you?

Yeah? I did that, Like so the second play through, like when the opening sequence which he kept trying to kill you, I kept at certain points just not doing like the mini games or the QT things, just to see what happens. And she like stab the ship out of you. She'll fucking put your and like you'll go tumbling off the fucking thing. Dad, It's so funny.

I love I love that alone. Yeah, that's that's that is the That is a kid. That is what a kid would say.

My favorite thing about that.

Is like imagining, like that's where the story does end.

Yeah, that's it.

There's all this set up in thematic.

Now he got.

Stabbed in a car and died. That's it.

It's like a DND campaign work. Character just dies randomly, like this guy just to be the character said the world and then someone stabs him. He's on the loop. It's like Waltz in he's on Fortify. Somebody jokes him three times in a gut and it leaves it.

Then it's like, oh, the rumors of a new Gota war this year.

Actually, oh yeah, there's gonna be a smaller like a Greek.

Side thing saying that the Morales type thing.

I guess, yeah, which, I'll be honest, more of that, please, I personally, you don't you don't want, you don't want something like that. I want more.

I kind of just wanted, you know what I mean, Like I like the interstition. I'm kind of tired of gotta war honestly, Like in this verse, like it'd be cool. I was hoping for if there was a God of War thing this year. It was it was gonna be the trilogy, like you.

Know, yeah, they're gonna actually do that yeah. Yeah.

Instead it's like here's a new one in Greece or something like a side thing. He is like, I don't wonder what it looks like now you talking from Well, there's like DLC in the new one.

That like brings you to the val Hala you can get a little bit of a but even brings you back to one specific scene where you sacrifice this one soldier first.

Game for no good reason. It turns into who again, you're some Diana Ross.

Oh no, it turns into it. It ends up being.

Head dude, mir I know personally you're like, oh sorry, you put it apollow. You put apollowollow, which you have no problem.

Yeah, And it's like you're like.

Oh, ship, my band, this I didn't mean to put you in this box of death.

He's like, brother, what.

Are you doing? What are you doing to me?

This is I love I love you. That's so fucking funny.

What are you doing some reason?

I'm very irish.

I don't know why, why are you? I'm so sad that you not have me cook because now seek secret yes forgot her name whatever, queen bitch cannot suck me cook anymore. He was he was with that cock you see all that blood in her mask.

He was he was piping that tall.

That is crazy that man was giving her skinny as because you can see like his body on the.

He was. He was ways the sator, so of course he had to hog on him.

Like Moon, you want to know something that you're thinking for some reason, I was thinking Sair Moon, Why Jewish sailor?

Moon?

Like, I don't know, I don't know what, I don't know.

I don't know. You guys are interesting. Did we answer that question a week now?

I want to give. I want to give. I want to give the ability to.

Underwater Miles Browns in two years. Oh yeah, just collecting powers like they're sucking collectibles. He's such an overpowered characters like I love it. I saw that shit coming a mile away. Man, that's so crazy. Yeah, that's so crazy. The second he was like making swords and ship. Yeah, out of electric what people he has electrocnesis.

He's limitless, He's gonna be limitless.

He doesn't have it. He doesn't have it. He's been just because you can exude, you don't have like vomit canesis. Just because you can throw vomit.

If you can, that would be cool, he's been able to for the whole time touch people and electrocute them. That is like the pathway.

It's like, I've damn near done that myself.

Why can't Electro do that? Electro, he can do that. Of course he can do that. What Electro? No, why does he not do shit like that? Because he's a fucking retard. That is literally why Electro is so we talked about this one episode. Electro is so wildly fucking dangerous. But he's special needs, so he doesn't know he's dangerous.

Can I not give somebody powers, but give them like like I like the idea of of like Arthur Morgan or something like a regular person grounded character to having like a symbio or having like a guiver armor something.

Micah, could you imagine?

My god, that's stupid.

That's hilariously stupid. That is too much man.

That's he's like everyone a little jack with a symbio, just like a train passes by, you know, then it's going crazy.

It's too loud, just to see if we get tortured. Jackets a kid now it's our trance boy, John, do it, no, John, do it?

You have to symbi off of.

Him I'm sorry Jackie that accent.

I love my son. We's not your son no more.

Damn it, John, Wheez, whe's venom. Oh little Jack.

Little Jack with his little symbio. To do it, Son, you're gonna pull you gota pull that boy. John.

You gotta put your the fucking boot on his throat and blow that symbio's brain.

Will kill me.

I can't do it. We always found out. We always find ourselves here, Josh. So it's you and me, the little boy with a how do we do this all the time?

Oh my god, Jack with a sm.

Fucking advent.

Jack is only seven years old and he's had to send me five times and he ended up in his exact predicaments, so fuddy.

Like he's got like a sickness.

But it only works with him. He seeks him out. I don't know if I can do it, Arthur. Well, it would mean a lot to it. Yeah, I love you.

It's all.

Blow Jack's brains out.

Mean a great deal to me, That's what he says about the end of the side of line. And I've got a plan.

I got a I got a plan, John, and he and.

He puts his hands up and he's been Wolverine the whole time, and now it was a little his little knives come out.

I got a plan just and he just dice his jack up.

He's laughing exactly like that.

Or just clean it Uparthur.

I think I'm like this and not like my cousin Penis Reen. Arthur finished it. Burn him down with your human torch power.

Are in the Pinkertons.

Pena's reading the Biggertons's the dope name.

Questions reading the person.

I gotta write that down.

You don't.

You're gonna you know, it's crazy.

You're gonna read that. You're gonna put that away. You're gonna read that tomorrow. You're like, this sucks.

How many times that's happened to me? But I read that.

I was like, that's funny, and then I read it the next morning. I'm like the funk am I talking about.

It? Looks so dumb? To what is penarad god pters read is so stupid?

All right, So Josie and the bussy Cats, he says, hey, there are three gay uncles. I'm gonna rewatch all the podcast episodes and I don't know if you wanted a super cut slash compilation of something specific. Also, have you ever noticed swing structure as a joke the same way Trump describes things. Can you imagine this happening describes thing happening that is Yeah, I guess that's cool.

I can get guess you guys are kindred spirits. Maybe yeah, I don't know why you're not present right now. Maybe it will be afterwards.

Imagine that. Can you imagine immigrants coming to the border.

Look at that, immigrants all over the border.

It is kind of similar. Well, I know that we I know that we have a speech.

I want my boy, my boy Kingston.

I'm gonna I'm gonna introduce you to an amazing man, Kingston's dad. Take the floor, everybody, it's.

Weak Hunters the Hunter from Dumanji. And he walks in and he looks like.

He looks he looks like the Hunter from Dumanji and like Pierce's dad from Community.

Remember reminded me about him. I've been thinking about him every other day. That guy's crazy, dude. I just I just think about the lego hair extream. Racism of having ivory hair is so fucking funny.

It is really iconic, like like like real racists could never even fire to be that level, like I have an ivory.

Wi whoever thought of that?

Brilliant? Brilliant.

Yeah, that's some brow you've got Scandinavian or something like that.

It's like, what a good character.

I'm kind of sad that, like Pierce himself like was like or Chase Chase, because like I would have loved more of that.

Yeah, he was so funny.

That sucks man. He was, Yeah, was he was? He was. That's so unfortunate.

Unfortunate tell he was like he's in plain sight, you know, doing in playing sight.

Well you sometimes look sometimes, yes, but sometimes they're just a really good actor, right, It's like it's like John Voight where John one of my favorite movies I was talking about was Before Varsity Blues. It's one of those old teen teen movies that it's actually good.

In my opinion is that is that the one with the blue football team?

Well I think the colors are blue actually.

Like there like Blue Man Group, it's a Jason. Yeah, it's based on the true story of the Blue Man Group playing full on text. You have their vinyls.

Oh my god. John Voyd's racist, Okay, go for it.

He's a racist.

He's a massive Trump supporter, but like he played a racist in that movie.

That's so funny. He plays it so well, and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, that makes perfect sense.

When Bill and I plays a science guy. You know he fooled his last name, yeah.

Will so nice stands for Nigel with the wide stupid So Bill Nigel the science guy, the science guy, such a fucking.

Bastard, wasted time. I cannot believe I listened to you say that. I hate you. This is real, this is a real second, it's really mother. I was like Bill, not Nigel, and I started drawing a lot. I was like, this is stupid. You're stupid. You don't know Bill Nigel the science guy.

Moron.

You guys are bastards. You guys like that's so dumb, Bill.

Gel, that's too long. You gotta you gotta trim it.

You gotta. William Bigel will compromise my name.

I don't change yeah, and he goes, all right, I'll change Nice. So it's just Bill ny the Science Guide.

Still name is William Nye, William Nigel, the Science Guidel, William Nigel the Science Guide. And they're like, funk, this sucks.

The word fucking sucks. We don't have we don't have the money to print all this. They're like they already wrote that, they wrote, so they they packaged like you know, they brought it to him, like, hey, look at checking, we got the show laminated Bill Ny the science guy. Look we got a fucking cool ass theme song. That fucking that John Williams. John Williams did it.

You know this is great. Williams doing the Bill is crazy?

Do you so? And then he's like, I fucking hate it. My name is William Nigel the science Guijoel. What the fuck is Bill Ny the science Didn't you fucking understand when I met with you in March? He gets real, It's like real, he's.

So fucking really starts sciencing.

You printed all this ship.

I want triple my fucking salary. Bill. I'm sorry that we we we just we just thought that it fit better, you know, like we want the kids to.

Like can people over at Fox.

Didn't make this fucking mistake?

And they're offered me twice is why should I stay?

Listen?

Listen, just listen, just listen to the sign, listen to let's listen to the song. Please please hear the song.

This science guy.

That's not what he said. He's no, here's the Chinese one first.

Jeez, he's a jow.

Yeah, that's how it sounds.

He is just doing it accurate. But it's just like, why would he hear that first?

I don't know.

He was like, Bill, we want to show you the Chinese version first, means it cuts.

It cuts to a sitcom basically, and it's like a of like two executives, like they're the executives and it cuts to them.

It's like, oh my god, I picked up the wrong tape. Oh no, you know, and that's their story.

Dude.

I love that Bill's mad and they have to like calm him down, like they're like, oh, we're confident will convince him by showing him the theme song.

He'll get it, and it slaps.

He picked the Chinese one up on accident. It still works.

He's like. Bill's like, oh, you know what, I have no idea what the fuck they're saying. That sounds pretty great.

It's because he doesn't understand that they're not saying William Nigel the sides schedule. So he's like, oh, that's I mean, I don't know what that is, but that sounds really dope. I want anything to do with anything that is that.

That that sounds amazing. I can't wait to hear my name William Nigel, the science Guidu Canton gonna be great. And they're like, yeah, yeah, definitely. The silence well fast, and then well yeah, and.

Then they gave him and then that night they snuck into his room and gave him a pill that made him never hear music again.

I cannot believe that you talk about me. That is the most I've never seen. You made a plot device in a plot device, so.

He can't so he can't know that they're not saying cific vibrations and frequencies that are blocked from him. As soon as it sounds like music, So someone starts humming, you can't hear it. You can be talking to me like ah.

And he's just like that's why they cut the karaoke bits from the end of the show that they used to have.

Did you just stop talking about your mouths open? I don't understand what you just what's going on? I'm I feel that feels I feel so sad. I feel so sad.

I can't feel rhythm. Can we go to a next oh?

By the way, what was the question.

Go to the next one?

No, we were that's the same question, or I don't know.

It was a yeah, I don't know, man, No, absolutely, look it, I would say a great answer.

No.

Some of the sweety's various laughs. I think I want like and I don't. I specifically don't want two of the same laugh next to each other. I want all of the different ones intercut. I don't want two of the same one in a row.

Is what I'm saying.

It's gonna be two. If there's you're insane thing, there's only two.

If there's any jokes that you feel like are particularly hilarious, definitely cut those out too, because I would like to put more stuff out there, and I can't remember ninety nine percent of what we did.

Yeah, the most recent thing in my mind is the most recent thing for me that I can remember. It's really only because it's the thumbnail is fucking Bernie Sanders with the salmon on his feet, and that's really the only thing. But even that I barely remember.

Yeah, I'm really I'm really in love with the idea of Jack and the symbio of like screaming off him and he's just.

Like that's great. I would lie he's so small.

So make a combination of Sweety's laughs, any Danny jokes that we have that pretty good. I think you've run a little bit of a run lately.

Yeah, the brain sham.

I'm actually really upset because I specifically clipped that part of the podcast and then just being on autopilot what I normally do after I'm done editing, I just exit out everything.

I don't save it because I'm done. Like it's like, oh it's it's it's been rendered.

It's good. I don't need this anymore. And then, uh, I forgot that I clipped. You know, I was supposed to render those clips and I exit out everything.

Was yeah, I immediately just abandoned. I'm not going back and doing this.

I had a pinpointed uh yeah, so it'll be a clip at some point.

Yeah, somebody, someone will do it, a douchebag or somebody.

But it's also it was like it was I needed to make it flow well for like to be like a social media clip.

I needed to do some extra work to Yeah, you gotta cut out like silences or like interruptions that don't have anything to do.

It's kind of hat.

So it's a lot of editing, right, But uh, that's what I did with the fucking solid snake under the fucking uh sneaking into what is it, some woke person's house.

Yeah, that that still gets a little bit of traffic.

Yeah, and I imagine this is what this is what I'm assuming somebody some racists with of course the Christian you know, crucifix in their profiles, they always have.

There was the worst fucking people.

Yeah, people get angry. People get angry at that one.

It's specific.

They're really bad at that. I'm assuming they were.

We were when we were pretending to be like, you know, woke people.

Yeah, he saw snakes like maga, you know, like it's one of the Magaga. Yeah he's woke.

Oh my god, he's woke from what mega snake, mega snake.

You know.

It was. It was. It was stupid. It was a funny. It was a funny.

Yeah, we can't redo it.

It uh it it had Uh.

It has a lot of views on it actually, and every once in a while somebody really offended says something. He didn't say anything on this post, particularly this guy, but he on the latest thing, the flabber thing, This guy.

Just showed up because like you said, you said, he sound like this seems like a little racist.

And then I replied with there was an elemental black face to it, you know, just saying a dumb horrific yeah. And then he quotes that and then he says, oh, like God like blacks are so low IQ.

I was like, yeah, I did see that.

I went onto his profile and it had a uh a cross cross a crucifix of course, and of course, and I was like, I just I replied to your God would love you, I said something.

I was like, yeah, Jesus would be like really proud or so like I said something like that said.

What's that old thing?

Is no hate?

Like Christian?

Yeah, that really is so crazy. Like I saw that, I was like, what, we're so clearly joking.

There's nothing black face about it. It's just like vaguely.

Tangentile to the idea of it exactly. I was like, it's just heavy makeup, Like, brother, what's wrong? Like, why are you so angry that you felt compelled to do that? Like this this joke, this retarded podcast that's clearly not take that's talking about a cartoon ghost.

Imagine, imagine getting twisted over flabber like flabber like was he was am I misunderstanding him and he's just a massive Beatleborgs fan.

He's really upset. Yeah, he's a flabhead. He's a he's a flabbists a. He's a flablet. He's a flaming flabbot.

Flabbot. It's crazy, that's wild.

If they're he has kids, are they flablets?

Little flablets? A little flat yea flabby, yeady, flabby flay daddy flabby. It's one of his two laps.

I love it.

That's kill everyone, kill them all. I felt like that's all Art the Clown laughs, Art the Clown. Yeah, from a terrifire, Yeah, terrifire.

I think Art the Clown laughs. Like wait, so here's.

So someone did ride in Shan mclovin wrote in he says, I found that paintball video Derek was talking about, Oh do you remember what this is?

Yeah?

Yeah, because there was a guy that he like shot some dude. There were the whole day were waiting and he shot some dude and like the guy's like oh, and everyone's like what the fuck and he's like like what, It's just funny, right, So he said it's not a.

It's not a paintball gun. It's a fully automatic airsoft gun.

Oh, it's an airsoft yeah, and then said that the video is called like if he say, he says, you can search he burned my patch on YouTube.

He burned match.

Yeah, presumably that's if that's the same thing you're talking about.

Maybe listly, it probably is. Yeah, it probably is airstoft. That's probably why the guy made such a why it seemed to hurt more than.

Like a paintball way more airsofts. Man, I know, dude, airsoft guns are insane. I've been hit both.

I don't think you've been hit by a high powered air never hit with like a baby gun they have, Like, dude, they'll do their were like the one when people started it, do airsoft at check this out. Airsoft got so stupid that the gun started costing more than real guns, and I was like, you guys are gay, just buy real guns. At this point, no, I remember, like there's a guy that was like heavy into it. He's like, oh, I spent seven hundred dollars on this thing gas and electric power,

What's your friends?

But it's like you're due. The guns that they're buying are already breaking the skin. That's why they're all padded up. And I'm like, bro, just not as different than big shot, but I understand what you'reself. Of course it is, but they're trying to get so close to doing it. Then I'm like, why do you Why do you want to shoot someone so bad?

Yeah, paintball only hurts in like if you get like a.

Bone or something.

I've been I've been here with airsoft guns before plenty of times, and paintball guns definitely. Pampera guns always hurt more because they would welp me. I mean maybe I was using the most high pressure because my friend but a fight. I don't think they were. You retorded like like hundreds p ninety one and I remember he shot my friend so bad that it looked like he was he had chicken pops, like he laced him up. He took his cloth shirt off and he was just like

I mean, it'll probably rupture one. I imagine that much, that much force would rupture somebody's hag ball.

That the idea of having your ball ruptured fucking hurts.

Just think about it.

What is it? What was it called?

Again? I got somebody he burned my patch.

I think.

He burned my pack.

Well, yeah, that fucking pops the right away. Yeah, yeah, that's it. So there's the entire video. Yeah, so there's just the clip that I've only seen, the he burned my patch.

I wonder if it's a timestamped in the comments, time stamped in the commons. It might be timestamped if it's that. If it's that crazy of a clip, well let me hold on. That sounds fucking crazy.

He fell down. That is an iconic.

They should all shoot him, dude, what the heck? Guys goes ye, what what? So that's the part that I never saw. He said he we burned my patch. The other part he goes like what, I don't know what that means.

I don't know that.

I mean, I don't know if it's a lingo or if it's literal, if it's literal, like his.

Patch got burned. Shoul always shooting him like we're gonna shoot you. Now, that'd be crazy.

Look, if those people were assholes, they would have shot him. But you can tell how they're so like normal. These guys are like Mormons or something because they're going, what the heck? Twice I heard from two different people, what the heck?

Yeah, that's definitely an util I got. Yes, Hula says he some random atheas and you went around and shot Mormons.

What do you do about it? Not cursing me?

He burned my atheist patch after my patch?

Mormon?

What do you soak about it? Soak about it? I don't know if that's real?

Is that Mormon?

Friend?

And it is absolutely as real as Israel? The place is okay, Captain.

Captain Captain Jolk America wrote in Captain Joke America.

Guys, Captain Joke America is riding in.

Let's go riding in question for Sween and Derek is he a soaker?

No question?

For Sween and Derek, who are your favorite Who is your favorite comic book writer? And because I don't want to Chris to feel left out, I really don't care. What is your favorite Spider Man design slash shoot it that also don't care.

It's fine, I'm not going to make such a great parent with your kids like that. What about I don't care? Yeah, I don't.

Yeah, my audience is my son.

No, your intentive ability.

I don't have, like, I don't don't have it.

I don't have anything to connect. I'm not connecting with another person over this, you know what I mean?

Ask the question. I don't even really know what the answer would be.

Like, I feel like every Spider Man costume is pretty good, Like I don't really have.

You don't have one you prefer the most.

I like the original black suit, I guess I like I like the I like that's it. I like the Spider Man two Raimi suit. I like fucking uh uh Scarlett Spider. But like those are obvious answers, you know, but there.

Enough to give. It's not even a big give ad, but it's like you can really say that, like, I really don't care.

I like armored Spider Man.

Oh yeah, the Spider arm the diamond the silver one or silver one.

The silver one is pretty cool. I remember that was my I remember that was my favorite in the PS one game because it looked damage well because I just felt like it was it was the one suit that was like textured really well mmmm that you could see like that.

It was.

It did that thing where like they painted on the shadows and the textures because you obviously you couldn't have real time shadows.

Back then, I see.

But like so it just looked like, oh, it looks pretty good. Yeah for p S one, Yeah, it was not.

That was cool, especially the fuck I don't even remember which Marvel versus it was maybe marvels Superho's a street.

Fighter maybe where all you had just hit like select or something.

There was just like for certain people he had to like hold like star select on and then get their secret character.

There was like Mecha zang gif I remember MECHAZANGI.

And then there's uh uh ship no Evil Evil Evil Soakara, Armored Spider Man.

There's a Dominicans Dark Skin for some reason, dark skin is crazy.

There's always a mega something, you know.

Dude, megazak If is so funny because he's like, yeah, he just has so much fucking she like it's like a like a armor and he's I think that was pretty much. I think they had they had it was it was. I tell you they don't like all those Marvels verses. They didn't do that anymore. After that pissed me off.

We had all secret characters and then they just stopped doing that.

We should have more Mecca things, now you know what I mean? Like there's nothing, nothing has a Mecca thing anymore. I think, like, where's Mecca Steven Universe?

Where is we do have? It was probably in Japan. Now, let's be honest. Meccas of universe is crazy. We need to go check Japan because they still have They still have mecha everything. Mecca Sugars next time we're somewhere attendentally near her, Like, hey, why didn't you ever make Mecca Steven universe?

That's wrong? Yeah, what's wrong with you? Stupid?

Like like why not you made him gay? But you didn't give aim mecha form is like where's Mecca? Where's Mecca? Jerry Springer mecha?

I love that idea. I think it's great.

Hold on, I gotta type that she doesn't know, she doesn't know that he's the father.

But give you watch Stan fight.

I'll give me a second after type in Mecca Jerry, watch this continued. Don't this real.

Oh, I'm actually watch this slut fight another one.

You are not the father's Maury.

Let's make a Moury Mecca, Maury.

Paul, Jerry, Jerry Jerry. It's just giving me like Transformers, I don't understand, mean, I don't. Yeah, it's the dumped by a robot?

What the fuck?

Anyway?

Favorite comic in my fucking back pocket? My easy? Yes, johnath Hickman easy to top of the line, but number one best.

Did he make a Hancock?

No, you know he's the one that wrote the Hancock twenty twenty fifteen Secret Wars. Okay, he's my favorite other than other than that super cool cool secret Yeah, definitely, vincecill crazy obviously, Stanley obviously.

Yeah. Jizz Lee is pretty good. Is that a son? Yeah? You didn't know about his son jizz Yeah? I mean.

Jesus.

I love you too, Dad. I'm four years old, but I talked exactly.

Love you.

I can't wait for my tenth birthday, like Celsi.

Dad, Is it okay if we invite Kingston's dad tovite birthday party? That's okay? Sudden absolutely Eggelsi Kingston, thank you so much, so much, Thank you so much. I love you so much, Jesus, I love you so much more than my son. Don't tell my son about this, though. He'll be mad if I meant you be furious, furious that I have a signature and I'm best friends with the standing Jiz.

My son is what I call a buddy Monty old gay boys. What we little, what we might say, very little. He's becoming like so distinguished.

Like I don't like how you're making my dad eloquent.

Yeah, I'm picturing him with that fucking drip on like rifle.

He's got a elephant right drug Kingson's fucking impossible, Dad.

Yeah, yeah, bad with the with the Safari drip the elephant rifle with those cool fucking armored helmets on. Yeah.

And if you get if you get the voice of the drawing somehow, that'd be great. Yeah, draw the voice as well.

They draw what the audio file would look like of it and what it would.

That by the way, the artists worst night very probably like that.

That was that instruction you draw, you draw would like it would be like if somebody commission somebody and they're like, what do you want?

And they'd be like, just do what you feel?

Do it?

You feel works.

Yes, like's some direction here, buddy, but uh yeah, yeah so Stanley Jonathan Hickman.

Yeah, uh well some of the stuff I've enjoyed the most.

I would say things that I like the mosters like Crampis, Jizz John's is h is involved in some of my favorite pieces.

Yeah, and I would I think he's the best DC writer ever. I would have to say give that to him. Yeah, all of the Green Lantern era when he was just like the best comic book character. Yeah that happened, Yeah, yeah, like two thousand like stuff that really like six to ten, he was just like on fire consistently.

That's what like really got me into well that's really got me into the chorus man and actually caring about that stuff he made.

He made, he made me because at first it was just it was green lantern and then it was Sincester who would have had power, right, but Jeff John's like flushed out to made like a bunch of other lanterns, different parts of the emotional spectrum was.

Ever like a green like spotlight or like a green flashlight or something. But did they just stick with lanterns the entire time?

I think lantern lanterns, flashlight why is it symbolic.

Atlantics kind of guide joy through the darkness they do about the underground railroad. They didn't do flesh lights. It was cool, the green fresh light, Yeah, it was cool. They had those. It felt way better than pussy trust me, trust.

Me, this.

Perfectly authentic, butty white flesh light.

And it's green.

You're like, it was green. It was green. I don't want why it was green. She was green. People just need weren't really paying attention.

Didn't like saw she helped flush flights.

They have to. I mean they will, Yeah, they will they I've seen some Uh well, no that's not true.

I was gonna say flashlights, dildo's. It was like alien one you ever see ship like that.

They had these things and I'm like, oh, they had an Avatar, the not the Airbender, the the blue Aliens.

They had like Avatar.

I don't know if they were. I think it was one of those things where it says like a costume President of the United States and it's clearly Trump. You know, it was like that.

Why is it that they can't like I don't know.

I feel like because they are just them, Like everybody knows it you know they are the I saw one for like eleven from Stranger Things and it said number girl, and I was like, are you serious?

Just like they don't want to play royalties.

It's just I know, but like I don't feel like they should have to.

That's what pisses me off.

It's like all Halloween. It's like if I if a kid does it with it, I guess I get I get it. I guess I can't.

I can't say that a borderline psycho one that I got. The borderline Psycho one, yeah, was I think it was like crazy person or like inmate.

And I was like, what are we doing?

Like I get it because like you know, when I think about it, just how cut through the businesses. I guess there's no way they're not gonna be like we're suing you.

I just don't understand how they are already doing that, you know what I mean.

It's because of the stupid loophole. It's just like, say, well, you know we we we started the show talking about Musk like paying people to like vote or whatever. He's not technically paying them to vote, right, Yeah, he's paying them to to do certain things, which would lead to.

You know, yeah, that's literally. It's literally, but like the bullshit loopholes. What it's like, we all know what this is and the fact that we just allow this to happen is mind boggling.

Where you're at.

Second Amendment people, I need men.

Lying as niggas that just like guns and don't give a ship about the Constitution.

Them niggas man cowards. To be fair, Yeah, I don't really care much about the Constitution an there.

I do like conceptually, but like I haven't the.

Idea, but I haven't like sat there and I care about I've I'm not I'm no fucking scholar, but.

I don't have the Constitution to read the Constitution.

I've gone through. I've gotten through them. It's really not that long. It's not that it's boring.

It's just more about understanding. It's just more about understanding how our government works. It's more about understanding, like the amendments that that were kind of obvious.

You know, the Constitution is like like fundamentally as a as a one article, it's really impressive to be created at a time it is so much vibrant ignorance. While these people were like wait, instead of shitting ourselves to death together and create this.

Like actual it might's coming together to be like we don't like the idea, and you are you are the most miraculous human ever, I think.

I think they probably got some guy to do it on his off time.

Probably, but it's still brilliant slave and then he stole his ideas.

You are the most absolutely a stupid whoever.

Like this guy like Boom the Constitution said like you know, like all men are created equal, and then they're like this is good, but conceptually all men that look like us and he's like, well that's not what a boom, you know. And then then it would be so funny.

That would be fu hilarious if the real Constitution was like it was like handwritten and all that, and you get like all the good parts and then like the second it gets to like some of the stuff that is questionable. Yeah, the handwriting obviously changes to like fucking dim with fucking stupid like Cram.

It's really funny being like we probably shouldn't have slaves really and they're like yeah, but like we need to. I'm gonna listen. We're not gonna get the country to listen if we do that.

Right now, you think well, the thing is, here's the interest thing. It's all about getting rich people on board, because only rich people in slaves, right, Yeah, it's the thing. People always kind of forget that. They're like, this is poor people didn't just own poor. It doesn't does work that way.

It isn't like the poor people we have. No, it's like people in the South that were had bad bad It's a situation like when you buy a poor person today.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's not like, yeah, you're going to hold deepot and buy a porpor Now. There's like, there's an app fred Rico. Yeah, it's this way I'll feed you.

Now, there's an app. There's a subscription service, slaves plus. Slaves plus is good going on? Slaves dot com must be crazy.

I can't immediately, I can't even.

I can't wait to see what is that gonna be.

It's gonna be porn dude probably actually literally turned into sex chat dot com. That's crazy.

It redirects the sixteen.

Way videos, sixteen Way video sex.

Discord, gangbang Way bro bray this gut a discord gang man. You're all traking off you here.

Like I'm coming.

It's like where which one?

Which one? Which one I look which want to look at her? There's so many screens who so much? That's crazy.

Let me let me very, let me make sure I didn't misspell slaves.

Because like, really, I went to sex chat dot possibly misspelled that would have also redirected to something like that.

Well, I don't know, but you know, maybe it's my fingers saw sables. Let me do it again.

Nope, nope, sex shot it goes to the slaves dot com, goes to sex chat.

Dot colas dot org.

Oh or slaves money You think the slaves dot gov. Absolutely, I can learn about my family by brief family. Oh no, there's no slave, it's just it's just a slave dot org.

Slaves not eed you.

Let's see if there's ETU now education slaves dot net. There might be a slaves dot net.

Actually, that's fucking crazy, man, I love it.

Go back to sex chat. We got it's it's what is that?

Okay? There's no slaves dot net.

Yeah, a disclaimer one last one.

Slavery dot com.

Oh my god, what are we doing? Slavery PEPs media. Slavery dot com is g registered door I don't door inclon von Pep's media. What the fuck language is this? Look man, Ben, it's dead. It's a domain that's available. It's really expensive, though, which one slave or slavery? Oh my god?

How much is this? Forty thousand dollars? Go fund me? Okay, guys, the time out, No, guys, let's get this crowdfunded. Oh my god, I want to I want to hear them about if we, if we? Sorry, I felt, I felt my answers like, it's okay, it's ignore them. I can't her themm of them. I can't simber them. You guys are dead.

I believe in you, Kingston. I believe you saw my get that.

Do main names get that. I'm so proud of you. Forty space slavery or by.

The way, that's only for like a year.

By the way, create if we got it, what would we put on it? Just the worst ship we redirected to us?

I guess I don't know.

That's a good all eight people that look it up eventually? Yeah, how much you think the worst times the people do? That's so great?

Were last forty thousand? That's great. Org slavery dot com. Dude, look at what it's Look at this language.

Dot com is Greg gregistereed. What in klant vent PEPs media that is absolutely German?

Is that German? Probably that looks that looks there's parts of it that seems German, and then there's are also parts of it that.

This part of that it seems more like Simlish than anything to me.

The Sims language we put an email, not like, there's parts of it that seems German and there's parts of it.

Targo comes Schmargo Garth Yeah, good farm Jensen smit, why do people that that name is tattooed?

I will never forget that.

I will forget my kids' names, maybe eventually if I got them, but like, I will never forget Smitty Werbennegerman Jensen. I have a question, that's why do people in like fucking Whitesville, like a part of the world, like the Scandinavians speak English. Are they conquered too by the Brits?

Yes? What are you saying? The English is the world's a default language?

That's true?

Okay, well, now that we've wrapped up that, mister Brits one man fucked up. Yeah anyway, zombie Stank wrote in last questions he said, hey, got hey, got slightly rage baited into subbing to the Patreon on my iPhone, got slightly rage bated int something to the Patreon on my iPhone seven ninety nine. Fuck you Apple, but I love you guys. Listen, you can circumvent that. You can go to the website and it. Yeah, it'll work. I would highly recommend doing that.

In fact, if anything, if you're an Apple user, do not buy things through Apple. If you don't have to, you can go on you can go on your browser, you can whatever and buy it through Google or whatever.

Yeah, it's just it's gonna be cheaper. It's it's truly crazy. So like that's a recommend for Like whenever.

You you know you're getting more money.

Yeah, you just go to a higher tier. Motherfucker, Like like, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

In fact, it's me bench around. I'm I'm the new financial advisor for the snack Tank.

I'd be crazy the daily wires going and be scared.

What about to me? You see, like the daily wires collapsing beneath my very fucking feet. But if I were the two like most prolific like racist whores that they had, and then there's things going in flames and now the Jeremy Boring left and I'm like, dude, they're they're they're And I'm.

Like, yeah, yeah, We're gonna make a lot of money together.

Guys.

I'm like I would if you bring Abby around, I will partner with you. Yamy Spiro was dead.

Oh well then I I literally just stopped talking to you. You are useless.

Now.

I wasn't expecting this reaction from the Fellas at their snart tank.

And I'm gonna shoot you.

I would, honestly, I think condolence to my sister. I think I might have to go to jail because I think I would beat him up. I think I actually beat up. It wasn't until you did the Free Chovin or the Free Derek dot Com and I was like, oh, I think I think if I see this guy on the streets, I might have to do something about that because I just.

My sister is so wild, was gone.

I want him to be hit with him. I want him to the back of the head, like in Minecraft.

What do you mean?

Like the band.

Like the Bad Holy fun I'm wake, I'm alive that did you hear the song that they put out recently?

No? In fact, oh yeah, it's it's it was. It was one of the.

It was it was like a very like it wasn't quote, it wasn't directly anti woke, but you understand they made it in a certain climate and who exactly.

Who it was?

Four oh right, perfect, so they couln't wait to listen to it.

I would call it Stephen Crowder metal or something. I can't wait to.

Put it on my trumpify that's my that's my uh music.

Dude. If if Joe Rogan.

Was listening to things Trump says I I should listen to if.

Joe Rogan was like quote unquote woke or whatever, then there would be a trumpefi.

It was actually a thing with him recently. He actually pushed back a little bit. He pushed It was barely, but it was.

It was if this is true, this is scary, And I'm like and then at every corner trying to justify what did she do?

Did she do something?

Because like pick many stories because they have a trigger noometry. I can't fucking believe there's a thing that exists. There's like a podcast or something or a YouTube channel called trigger nomagy.

Yeah, I see you mentioned one of my favorite chances and of.

Course, you know there are probably a bunch of a centrist retards, you know, they're just like, oh, everything's one of those people end up on Joegan's podcast, that's how you get on. And then they're talking about these cases and not well informed about the cases. Oh have you heard about this one? No, I haven't looked into it, but they're still commenting on Yeah, this can be scary, but you know, if you do things, if you ramp things up bad, people like, mistakes are gonna happen too.

Is is it's wild woman I got taken up off the street randomly.

It's about her, It's about there are multiple cases of protesters and then people like that. Specifically, this is more about the protesting, the people protesting against obviously the genocide and getting rounded up and shipped out, and they're just saying, oh, they're terrorist or they're they're Homa supporter. You know, they're just lying about shit, no evidence. And then Joe Rogan is trying so hard to you know, because he endorsed Trump.

Yeah, and then the owner is just like, I should do it, I should do it.

Yeah, I used to go to I used to go to that Malet shop with him all.

The time, throwing out.

Alpha brain, it's not working.

Me and Joe Rogan.

You's always going to Craig mcflippin's spring loaded fucking mallets and boxing club.

Let's just the name, please. I love getting.

Concussed in that location.

Yea zombie stank Rode and he says, hey, he says that, yeah, the got rage bated into something on Apple. Uh so he sab and to say the Sonic Xbox emulation Chris was talking about was actually them recompiling the whole game to run on a PC. But now the tools are there to do it with any three sixty that's all about. Yeah, it's very cool. I'm curious to see what is even available to get that done with. I want to see X Men origins, Wolverine absolutely, I want to see spider

Let's get cracking, do it. But uh yeah, and you know what, we'll cut it there.

Yes, try keep things brisk, a brisk pace, like.

Mom, like that my shot.

That's so vulgar? Why is this show so so vulgar and mean? Spirit? I taught you better than that. I taught you better than that.

You were gone the entire I was gonna say, I've raised you. Allow me to strike an elephant where my rifle. That's a smiting manager. He's shooting ten elephants while he's lecturing he's an elephant.

He's shooting the same ten elephants over and over again. He's on his field of dead elephants. He's just shooting dead elephants. He's like, no, Sean, you're gonna want to aim for the buddy, Sean, this is the last elephant alive, and I want to give you the honor to endigg It's life.

What Oh that's my favorite animal.

I know.

That's why I killed all of them. And I'll give you the chance to can you imagine? Oh?

I got that's like the Thanos level shit, like like that vendetta he has with that guy on his birthday or whatever. Yeah, we're like I found out this is your favorite animal, so.

I killed all of them. That's so evil.

All right, we're gonna.

Read our twenty five dollars patrons.

Now, remember you can submit your name here, uh to the Patreon list of names right at the end of the show. Twenty five dollars. It's an egregious price that uh some of you got it like that man, God bless uh you cart me down.

It's a great price.

Three it should be seventy five dollars. It should be fucking seventy five dollars.

The pain of this.

Yeah, we got a inflation, guys.

Sorry, the twenty five dollars price tag is now five hundred thousand dollars.

Gonna put some tariffs on our podcast.

You gotta put tariffs on this.

This consoles games, Tariffs on these digital games.

Comedy needs tariffs. Comedy needs tariffs.

One cent bird punchline. Sorry, that's four cents.

It's actually really affordable.

But Bernadette Bernadette or Bernadette Banana see gay why uh colchedra Edrass. I'm an astrophysicist and fun fact, you can lift you can fit every major planet between.

Wait, hold on, something's not right. Here paid.

Yeah, okay, fun fact, you can fit every major planet between sweets tooth Kain. That's crazy racist, cage racist, hokka black black ten who has the power of ten white people?

Oh yeah, yeah right, so dumb, so stupid. God Christ Queen. Queers of War, Oh, Queen, I love that we had.

Yeah, we did have an episode called Gaze of War, and everybody was like, Queers of War was right there.

It was like, you are right, no Queers of War is.

But see the problem is the the art had Gaze of War.

Oh you're just like Kanye.

Now, yeah it doesn't like Kanye. I understand that Queers of War sounds better, but also.

It's less dumb. Yeah, it's it's just like it is dumb, but it's it's the if you think about gaze and gears, you understand. I do understand.

This is like inside I feel like I'm watching like what is it inside the actors studio?

You know, or like it's like wow, I never really or.

Like a DVD commentary with like with like fucking John Williams talking about like I scored I actually or like George Lucas like I actually made I meane geor jar are the size of my own foreskin, because I really wanted to, I really wanted to relate to him. It's like, George,

This is Derek, God damn it. Dude's the N word.

Man.

This is Tom Swastika aka we was Kangston Jamison.

I don't know the good swing is in the black lunche Ellen Ellen Elon Muskin.

I can't wait for him to transition. Yeah, amazing, I want you anymore. My test is a gold Teslor.

We renamed it to Tesler Teslor.

I love Tesler. I love it.

When he said that, I couldn't believe it.

I thought I was just cracking, but he was.

We love Tesler. We love Tesler.

He's in the White House just recently talking and I was like, oh, he just says tesla.

I've never even heard him say, and are that strongly? Yeah, even when talking is I'm not black? And around him but like, that's that's actually pretty good, Joe, He's not bad. It's something, but uh yeah, Elon Musk is a filthy African. My plan to solve the Israel Palasine conflicts is just luke Jerusalem, and so no one is happy. My contention has always been that there's a McDonald's in Jerusalem, so it can't be a holy land. The second McDonald's there.

It's just over. That's a good point.

Berserker by uh big bouncing backsideh the Sloker to why so Dirpy Meggers with attitude, beef stroking off Goga gay for the jode.

Bad to the Bad to the bone.

I can't believe the woke left without saying goodbye Freezer White and sidekick Waalt junor in Zarman for him. Come People, Come people Brolly. Oh my god, that's layered, my guy.

Did you ever see that?

We talked about it on the show, right the broy the guy who did Broley's voice doing that song.

Oh yes, we did come People Come people right right right. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's what that was.

That's the Mega man X and Mad Dick Hunter Quiro domination, Von at the Dead Johnson Johnson Park. Uh, Derek not Chovin is innocent for him around i Asian mistaking the voice of God for schizophrenia. Sweeney, please send me your bobetos tomorrow or else. Uh, you should show them off on the podcast John Drown's miscarriage. Derek made up a pirate name for yourself. Make up a make up a pirate name for yourself. Please, Brah, don't call me good

You look, uh.

You look?

What which ones are the ones with the seek? You look like a seek.

You look like a cone head like you have featuring dan Akrol. It kind of has the the shape of like the Sikh turban.

This he's checked. Yeah, yeah, we're deducting his not speaking from his is.

He what is he I'm not you guys talk is he black devil?

What is he? Black dear black.

Sucks, black black devil, black devil towns song.

It's like that bad devil, bad devil, bad devil, get out of my city. This is my city, black devil, this is my city, black devil.

I am Son Wills kiss that you need to show for you die?

Could I say Wilson Dave backwards? Almost It's like not even right perfectly, I said, Son Will. It's it should be like what I would know. No will is that it will. I'm more worthy endeavor. There has never been no will, no slill.

No I have to write it off. I can write it out. Lou, Lou, Lou shut up. That was like what could be? Kid, you can stop.

That's a short.

That was like once we got a short. Bust raise Cassif Cassif.

I am no squill, Cassif, this is my city, black devil Vanessa.

So it'll eat this spie because every Cassif Cassif no will, he got what we ended up with, right, squill.

But when I look down at my puddle of coum Vanessa, I I white, my handskinned, and I look out at the city. It's a corrupt city, as enough.

Vanessa back stupid, please, my love, my hate. But he's a good guy. He's like so he's like, he's like he's trying to help a devil there is like out there being a flare.

God, damn devil there as my hate. You have been authoritius.

It's such a stupid concept, every facet of it. Devil there is great, though. I love I love the idea of a backwards daredevil who's like he can see perfectly well, he can't do anything else.

He's got fucking he's got thirty thirty visions.

He's got thirty thirty vision, but only directly forward, so he can't like he's got no peripheral.

Yeah, it's like tunnels.

Oh my god, Devil there is great.

Someone draw Devil there doing like a fucking gain or off of the Statue of Liberty and not understanding how that is.

I hate the city kitchen Hell so much.

Kitchen Hell, Kitchen Hell is such a shit.

This is so dumb. I must save my city. I must save Heavens bathroom. Now, Heavens Heavens bathroom. I will save Heavens bathroom. If my name isn't he can't do it either, Noss Wills Lou This is stupid, but I'm trying to say, please please read my name.

Thug Zilla, King of the That was the Wow, thug Zilla, King of the Hoodsters, moving all my friends in the custody battle, Kurt Cobain POV. Nobody cares, but I am now gay free for the past year. Death Jack w f M bombing Red Bull for dropping lost in the cunts.

What do you want to call Kingpin? Like if you want to use the word kingpin?

Uh fucking I don't know. I need to come Pinking Queen queen, queen pill. His name is just his name's pinking, Pinking. What the hell does that mean?

What's that?

There's picking?

If you, oh, if you, if you want your buddy? Okay, okay, okay, I was thinking, okay, I gotcha, pinking. That's so stupid, of course, all right, Benjamin Benjamara, save my city. Heavens bathroom is that whatever Heaven's bathroom is? I always wrote the Devil there from Devil there. If my name isn't pinking, his name isn't.

A wild mat something, his name isn't kick fit of the joke, it'd be nip.

It'd be nip.

This is such a dumb there's nip nip nick, nip nick, nip nip, nip nip nick. My name isn't nip.

It is in the show though they haven't they they even called me in the Disney one, but in this.

Version they've called me nip Nick starring Vincent Dinandrio.

Whatever alien in the middle black.

Yeah, we're getting the weeds here.

Salt he's he's a good guy.

Salt assault. What water? Salt meat?

I just want to say, what's the opposite of water? That is the craziest thing I know.

This is fire is fired to be too stupid like salt Meat's.

Not even there's no not even a nano angstrom of cleverness to this. I know.

Jesus Funny, don't touch me or all comming you amazing comedy you.

He would say that Ben Shapiro stretching his balls like a god of war QT. Kingston's dad, I need your help save my city. That's a good impression. Actually, Actually, I for some reason, I was working around with the colors on the TV and I was watching Daredevil and I thought that too. I was like, this actually sounds like I wasn't.

Expecting that let's do Let's do Daredevil in a king Wilson is talking.

It started Kingston's dad, I need your help. Hold on, Oh excuse me? Uh devil dare who just blinded? Just a blind guy? Woll you're incredibly blind. I'm not sure how you're antagonizing my city so much when you can't even fucking see anything?

Are you? Are you watching one again yet? Don't know? Not yet.

I'm almost done with the season three.

Don't touch me, dude.

He's not even saying anything. That's my dad a present. He's blind, mute in death.

Yeah, you can't do anything. He can move around and that's it.

But why is he a nuisance? Why is he my fucking's like.

Mister Magoo kind of we're like, by the way, amazing reference.

What's crazy?

I don't even know why I know that.

But like if he was a blind guy, that would like accidentally accomplish everything that he needed to do, so it would be that like he would like trip into like a broken glass, like you trip in a broken glass, and that would like summon the police to a place where like a robbery was taking place under Yeah, you know what I mean and the odds of.

Him terrorizing my city is incredible.

It must be fate.

I don't do stop, don't don't move, don't move, help, help, don't move. Help. I would be terrifying if you know, he keeps getting into like yeah, like if he just saw moving, I'd be terrified, Like what's gonna happen?

It's like final destination almost, like you know, like he is final. He is mister Final anyway, mister final.

All right, just go, mister Shapiro, mis you do.

I know you've been able to think lately. Mister fin nip nig, how you doing?

Wait?

What was it again?

Nipni?

Wait? That's not nick nipnick.

Mister ni.

Audience is furious.

I'm gonna help you.

Don't touch me, Gotta. I'd rather give you money than to charity.

Big meat. He stinks I'm slipping.

Fam scene.

I can't put the cock down.

Abby Shapiro's milk, she's immediately.

Unfortunately she is no.

Longer.

I want to hear that you took Abby's milk from me.

He picked him up with soup.

Like you know what you get?

He got mad at like Karen about uh Wesley. No, it's it's the milk. It's it's Abby's milk.

He's actually I'm sorry. She was, she's young, she's she was tragically folded into an envelope. All that milk onto waste, all that the envelope is looking crazy though, you know how well am I supposed to beat off and feed myself? She's gone. It's a really good impression about Vanessa.

You know what about you freak of a wife?

Care about Abby's milk? No, like like shaking, shaking. Yeah. I was like even when he's given a press conference trying to convince people that he's a good guy, and he's like.

Like we look, look at him.

He's snarling silently.

It's crazy. Daredevil try to frame me and I'm like, uh, you're kind of scaring me, buddy.

The fact that he becomes mayors so insane. It's so insane.

Is it's so insane, But the.

Like thank you for saying that, like the idea of that, Like when they did Devil's Rain and it was like, people like, how would people think that he would become marat where we are now?

Jimmy Rings, he does some good I forgot about I forgot about Jimmy Rings at.

Least he has like a he's a he's a fucking psychopath, but literally legitimately wants to He wants the city to be prestigious, but in a fucked up way.

You know what I mean? Is he is he gay in the alternate universe too? And is his his husband's like Vanessa?

Vanessa, van Vanessa, I love your penis so much. Here you have an amazing cock. Thank you, glone. He's a sucking himself. Oh that's a seed. He's so good. I love the way your penis feels it. I ask thank you so much, thank you.

I love yours feels my penis.

The stupidest show in the fucking world.

People listen to this, women listen to this.

Women with class these only the classiest woman's gonna put on the snark tank in the car.

For women that are like Vanessa essentially Vanesto. You keep adding, I like that sounds better than Vanessa. Well you're what, it's dumb. It's negaga the nega. Yeah, yes, that's what it's like that.

If a snake bit sweet this is, by the way, so much, so long winded, this bit. If a snake bit sweet on the dick, would you suck the veta. Tell you guys, tell you guys what edit the best parts of this bit out so that it's reasonable, and then you can make it a clip on another channel.

The usable footage from that bit will be three minutes.

Maybe maybe like fourteen fifteen seconds.

If a snake bits of dick, would you suck thevenount if it was getting to work? No way, lost it at the Cortes. You all got some change when Elon finally dies. Catch me going stupid at the club, like Jim carries the mask, gids touch swing every time he pulls his phone out.

Wolverine.

It's penis Phoenix is aesthetic laws.

So good, penis read.

Why did them slowly get erected?

Let's go Bob, it's so right that wiener reed is more obvious.

Yeah, of course, yeah, it's like is that's very that's queers of warr level, you know what I mean, where it's like yeah, but like.

When it's worse, it's better anti coomedy.

Get over.

How much worse sounds as a word than anything I've ever heard before.

The funny thing is out of context.

Anyone even know what you're talking about.

Maybe maybe they think it was maybe like a chemical like if you be like, hey, who do you think Penis Reen is?

I think, like, hey, hey, first on the street, I know you're I know, I know you're busy and probably like give me, give me a second, please, you like if you walk me off?

Shoot you? Oh my god? Well yeah, what do you want? We should do it, of Peter.

We should actually we should do it on the street segment where we take like the end result of our joke and we ask people.

What the fuck do you think this could possibly mean?

Yeah, you know, and.

I walk off?

We have I think that would be I think that would genuinely be so hilarious. Yeah, I think we would go viral from that.

Let's I want to ask any women, though I don't want to ask any women because I feel like we'll get like charged or something.

Oh yeah, yeah, it's sorry, ladies.

Sexual thing.

I'm like, no, it's it's penis reen.

It's a joke.

It is sexual, but like not in the way you think it has on his hands?

Is he dragging into like an empty van, ice captures you, grabs you, then the three spins and slangs in the back of the man.

We have a new order.

We have a new order to deport podcaster and you're like, well, damn, I'm not even I'm not even mad man.

Oh man, we have a new order to the port retard Joe Jorry.

You just you've made the cut, Jogones like this should only be one podcast. It should be mine, right, Jamie.