Hey, look it, Hey, look he's it. Hey, look all right, come back once more. Want some deep deep in my throat? Hey, everybody, because this bulls his bulls bulls bulls bulls. Who. That's such a good song. I even like making a parody of that song goes fucking crazy. It's it's I mean, everything he makes goes, but that song particularly goes hard as fuck crazy. The fucking when the brass comes
into I'm just like, God, damn that. Do you think? Do you think he's like actually like a sorceress or something and he gave his eyesight to become like one of the best objectively almost a perfect musician. Yeah, I don't. I don't know, but like it doesn't. He doesn't have any bats songs, even like young Young, Young young him. I think attracted, I think after after hit, but we're talking about we're talking about uh, Harry's original John Cena. You can't see me, I can't see
you. All right, Well, welcome to start podcast. Welcome to the Start Tank Podcast. It is it is a special day. Sweeney is old. Now it is Sweeney's birthday at the time that we were recording this. I'm pretty sure right it's today today. Actually I'm finally Thursday, sixty years old. Congrats, bro, you made it. It's crazy, he imagine. I'm just low key being older than Derek the whole time. Yeah, I've been decades older than by the way, Yeah I'm seventies. You're talking
about people. People are aging for seventy year old people are aging better. You know, it's crazy. I saw this I saw on my for you page on Instagram because it's just a bunch of it's just as it's just a lot of comedy now, which is nice. Before it was like really annoying. But Jerry Seinfeld's going around on this like press tour for that pop Tarts movie, which looks like I don't want to I don't really want to see that movie. Wait what I've never what? Hold on? Don't even worry
about it? Do any worry. We'll no more information. We'll get into we will get into it. But let me finish the thought. He's seventy years old, and it's insane to me because he looks really fucking good for seventy and he was old. He was old to me when I was a kid, you know what I mean, not like an elderly person, but that was like an old guy, like as a seven year old. He's like like thirty, like late like forty, like mid early forties or whatever, And I'm like, oh, weird. And then he and he had
people on his show, he had his his parent. Well I might be wrong, even like mid thirties, early forties, but like to me, I'm like, yo, that's fucking because he had people on his show who were like old and they were like seventy or something like that or even probably younger perhaps, and they looked so much worse. And we talk about this every now and again. We talk about like how like generations will improve continuously, like about how they age. But like I thought that would maybe start
with like us. I didn't think it would start with like him or like that generation. That doesn't make sense to me, But I mean, he's a diamond on the rough. He's also extremely rich that it was also comedically rich. She's very rich. But then I think about like a lot of there's a lot of actors. When you look at them, they look great in film, and then outside of it, you're like, oh that's okay, like you're a human, and they just look like a bag of pus.
Dude, they look bad like you know who? The same for a long time. Nicole kidman, she's been that way since I was like four, Did you were four? I was like you just exactly or like exactly the same. She's been probably a little bit over the thirty since I was four years old. And I'm like, all right, well they're keeping you nipped and tuck, clearly because Jesus Christ, you know who. The first time I recognized how fake movies were as far as people's appearance was looking at
John Travolta. I once saw John Travolta at an award show. I don't remember which one it was when I was young. This was probably like early two thousands where he did like Swordfish or whatever he's doing. He's still doing stuff, face off or whatever, early shite. He's still active and at the award show he was melting like. I was like, oh, he's an old man. Yeah, obviously he was active in the fucking seventies. And I was like, what the fuck is this because he still looked good
in the movies. It's so bad, just a regular line. I was like, oh, yeah, oh okay, you know we're all getting old, very old, bro. I don't people. I still I went to seven to eleven the other day, just the other fucking name. There's this black dude that works there, infinitely darker than you, Kingston. That's crazy, big, nice, little thin, like strap beard thing, and he's
cool. And we started talking about like, I don't remember why, but the two thousand and eight came up for whatever reason, I don't know why, but he's like, that's a good year. I was like yeah, and he was like, and he was I forget why wasn't that like a famously terrible year for everybody what it was? And it didn't make sense until he followed up with the year I graduated, and I'm like, okay, that's why he had he had good memories of two thousand and eight because he
graduately finished high school. And then I told him I was like and I was like, oh, I graduated six. And he looked at me like I was insane, because he's like, how are you older than me? Because this guy looks his age. He looks like he's like thirty four or something. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know, I look
like a fucking infant. And then we started chatting about just you know, the bar scene and all this shit where I couldn't get it was hard to get women at a bar because I look like I had no business being in there, like, oh, this is clearly stuck in Yeah, with a gun, I gotta go with a gun, put a gun on the table to be like, what's good. That's exactly exactly my experience where it's just like, I don't die. I'm not even gonna try because I look like
I've I look like I'm skipping study hall to be here. I can't possibly approach somebody that I don't already know, who knows how old I am, Like that's the only chance that I've got. I could not imagine going to a bar picking up a girl, even because I feel like bars suck and I feel like picking up a girl at the bars is a terrible situation to uh so, okay, I'll put it this way. The bar experience for me has been it's been extremely hit or miss. And then also the problems
that I've had with in bars. When there would be women that would be interested, there would be other freak guys that have like boners, you know, they look like my fucking mods in the games that I play. Because they're just so so they like get and they feel territorial and it gets like weird. And I've had I've had awkward situations like that where I'm not even trying to pull the girl but she's interested in me, and I'm like cool.
And then somebody else that was like working on her all night, all of a sudden it's like fucking like you know, like and I'm like, oh man, this is stupid, Like I I everything about the scene is just stupid. Those are the days, man, more pipe than human. You're trying to me and I'm like, dude, chill, blud chill, and he's just fucking infuriated. What do you who knows his mind? And You're like, bro, I don't know who you are. Do you remember
fucking Bill burd I think I mentioned this to you. I can't remember, but Bill Burr was talking about a joke about guys at the bar. He was saying, like a horny and there's like fucking like come like shooting out of the rise or something like it just it can't be contained where it's like just dripping out of their orifices and like that is how it is crazy. That's what it feels fucking crazy. Actually that was Lucy k excuse me, it was. It was one of those fucking gingers. That is real Cummery
right there. Bro, he's so warming back. He's coming while yelling at abject Cummery without a shadow of a dab, and you're like, blood calm down. He's like, I can't I keep coming. Yeah, So so listen, everybody listening to this. Everybody listening to this. When you see this, wish kings in a happy birthday, even though it'll be way too late. Yeah, definitely, even though it'll be like completely out of date, just spam it to him because he's gotta getting Yes, well, don't
do that. There's nothing happy about my birthday. No, definitely happy. But you know, how are you feeling? How are you feeling now that you're thirty? Does it feel any like what do you? Oh? Nothing? You feel different? I mean I've been it's the same. I've been kind of the same person I've been since I was like, you know, the late twenties or mid twenties. So like that's like three years ago. That's such a ridiculous. Just wait until late wait till midday. Death visits
you and gives you a wink and then disappears. My dick doesn't get hard no more. And I'm like, no, wait, I'm sekleiss I'm free, really free, let's see it. But that's when that's when Lily leaves, because she's like, you realize that she's there for your fucking your you know, your your, your, your triumphant pipe. And once you do, I would be so sad. She's like, I never liked you black. You were a piece of dick. That's all you ever were. She walked out. I'd be so hard, kid, that'd be insane. I'd
be like, WHOA, I didn't know. I didn't I had no idea. Who would have thought that Lily was like that. I feel like no one could have guessed Lily is racist. I feel like that's something that no one could guess. Hilarious. I think I think I would. I would guess, just to just to guess it. I think, yeah, just to be safe, just ahead to my best I feel like, you just be a shot in a dark guess but Lily is racist. It would be.
It would be because it would It would be because everybody would be so adamantly opposed to it that I would be like, well, if I'm if I'm not, I'm not gonna go with the crowd here. I'm gonna go with my own intuition here, I'm gonna go against the way that way if I'm right, Wow, is that a wild way to be right? And if I'm wrong, it's like whatever, no one's gonna really think about it. I'm gonna go with the crowd here. You just like, yeah,
I think she's racist. I'm gonna bob, I appreciate it. Hey, so I don't know, Hey, oh hey, hey, tell us about that pop Tart movie. Man. Still, I'm sorry, really you're cute in on it because I can't believe like that you said, yeah, it sounds fake, it's real. I know, I understand, but like so, for whatever reason, I don't know why. Jerry Seinfeld, well I
know why. It's just a comedy bit. But Jerry Seinfeld has a bit in one of his comedy routines that's about the pop Tart and how like revolutionary that was in like the sixties or whatever, and it's like a whole bit. It's like a bit. It's like a thing that's been kind of like I don't know if it's been like a staple in his act for a long time, but it's definitely been there for a while. And some some person I guess in Hollywood was like, hey, we want to make a movie
off of that bit. And he was like what why, Why would you want to do that? And he was like, just trust me, we'll do it, Like why not? And so Seinfeld, obviously having so much money and being able to just do whatever the fuck he wants, He's like, okay, whatever, fine, and so he directed this movie with like just it's just a bunch of comedians. I I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at with this, to be honest with you, it's it just looks like a very strange is it looks like a sketchy g I is it?
Is it live action? What is it? It's live? It's live. Actually it's not. What is it gonna be like an anime? Like I thought it was gonna be like like b movie but like pop tart movie. No, it's okay. So I maybe explained this a little hastily. It is a movie about the invention of the pop tart, but it like from The Boy and like the And and the race from other companies to get that onto the store shelves and stuff like that. It's not literally like B
movie but with pop tarts. That was my first thought because I like Jerry Sidefield pop tarts. It's gonna be that. And I was like, oh, we got the next meme for him. He finally can He's finally gonna come back because you know, B movie settled down. It looks at Honestly, it looks kind of like as I'm like, I saw the trailer for it, and it looks like if if the hypothetical bits that we came up with on this show weren't so depraved and so clearly not family friendly, it
seems like an entire movie based on that. Like it's like some guy dies and he gets like the full Like there's like a scene where like he gets like a full serial Honors burial and he's buried in a coffin, but they dump milk and cheerios in it, and like some ladies like weeping cutting bananas over it. It looks so stupid that it's great. That is literally like me and my friends have you know, requests similar to that, but you know, more vulgar, but the same. It's it was very true you
took. If you took cereal and milk and bananas and replace it, which shit come and like anything else, it would just be a bit that we would do on the show. So it looks like a g version of just a bunch of dumb cereal oriented bits that they just kind of came up with to shoot. I don't know, it looks whatever. It looks like a dumb movie. That would be so funny if he gets buried, and like, yo, before you bury me, everybody has to come on my casket.
Everybody's got to shoot one load on the casket. And it looks like a bunch of birds shot on it, but it's a bunch of splatter mark over the castle is fat off the completion in front of everyone. Yeah, that would take me, Like that would take me easily, four minutes. Yeah, that would take me. That would take me. I'd be a really scared three tugs, but I would do it. Yeah. Maybe I would get into it first. I'd be like, dude, this is weird. But then I'm like, you know what, I realized that I like
an audience. You beat me, you beat me, you can't beat me. I'm fucking I'm a quick sir. That's a permanent shift in your your brain chemistry though, Like that's that's you're a different person after that, I think, because that surely affects that that's something that would affect how you treat
people. I think like even just outside of just that that avenue, outside of sex, I think probably be like, oh, I need an audience for everything now, Like I need people to be there whenever I do anything. It's like I need people in the room when I'm shitting. Yeah, I have a glass I want to have a glass room for my fucking for
my bathroom. I just want to. I would just want to have all glass doors have people and it's it's it's connected to you know, the side of my house to make sure people walking by my house can see me shitting, like people to see me ship. Yeah, that would be really good. I want people to know I'm shitting. Oh, people to say I want I want a wooden house. I want a wooden house and a glass bathroom is what I want. That is, I want the most private room
in the house to have no privacy at all. All. I like that. I like that a lot. I respect that I have this conversation right literally just literally just walks onto me in the bathroom. Now that's yeah, I can't do that, man, And like I hate it so much do I feel like genuinely, the bathroom is the last place of privacy, that's the last fashion it situly is the final sanctuary. That is sanctuary even when
you're living by yourself. Quite frankly, like because every other room has all these like connotations to it's like, oh, this is my office, I gotta get work done. Oh this is my bed. Ah, man, I all sorts of horrible memories here. Oh the living room, I gotta clean, I gotta clean. Uh. And the bathroom is like, oh, peace, Like I'm telling I can take up this associated like I'm relaxing.
I'm in the bath I don't have to think about anything else. So I would not fucking allow that I locked my door here when it's a it is A doesn't get it. She's a fucking tune. But like first of the tune for his character. First of all, like Lily has siblings, right, one sibling and they're weird. But well that's I don't that's weird because I will say, when you live with siblings, it's ingrained and you lock the door, or you knock, like that's just you when you live
with people, that's how you operate. You can't just walk in her house. But she doesn't do it in our house. It's I get we're like a couple. We can do with that. I'm like Lilian, So she's consciously doing it and not just like, oh, I'm not thinking about this like she's kin trying to break me. She's literally trying to break me on purpose. And I'm like, girl, that is I can't even tell you how much of a that does not happened to me that's happening to be zero
is Lily? What is Lily doing right now? What is she doing? She's in the living room. Get her in here. I want her to explain herself. I want her to know. I want I want her to explain yourself. This is insane thing. That is insane. First of all, I don't know why he's not locking the door. You not be here? Is there is? There is there no lock on your bathroom door? Oh there is, but I don't lock it. I feel like I don't
have to. All right, so I've never had in the bathroom. You're gonna both that fall and be honest yeah, yeah, because I'm not. I'm not. I'm not hiding away. It's not about hiding. The lock is there for a reason. The lock is there for a reason. Yes, it is there for a reason for it because somebody, somebody may do exactly what Lily's doing while your fucking pants are down your ankles, you know
what I'm saying. Like it's it. It's a you're in a very vulnerable position and you would like to just have the door close, because sometimes it'll be deep in thought, sometimes will be whatever. If some motherfucker came and just opened the door, everything has been derailed everything because if you ask a lot of the artists big sartis in the world, they write like half of their music in the shitter. That's just what you do. It's just it's
just a place where you think. It's a place where you now, all of a sudden, now some motherfuckerd yeah, beat her. Yeah No, absolutely, not even as a bit, that's not even as that's not exactly what we're saying. I am you should. You should should go hard in the paint, teach her a lesson. Lily, you touched this door knob one more time while I'm in it and uh, you're I'm gonna make you fit in this toilet. I'm gonna make sure you get flushed. And it's
the implications is you're fucking like accordion her. You know you're you're smashing her. Make sure she can fit down the toilet. Can you imagine that stuff like that? Why is that ticking? That's tickling something in my brain? Wait? You remember you know where we lived together, we crated that that crinkle clause character that like Santa Claus comes into attrain you just come to you and then he leaves or what he just he he breaks into your house on
Christmas Eve and he just kind of crinkles you a little bit. He like he like he just he just kind of slightly malforms you, increases your skin and then you'll leave or he or he like really gets or he gets really really out of pocket with that. He like kind of stuffs you down at garbage disposal. But that's if you piss off. But if you don't let him crinkle you, he'll he'll it'll be if there's resistance, if there's resists
of any kind, let yourself get crinkled. That's so stupid. I don't know I feel like just it's the tradition, like nobody tries to fight back or kill him or no one tries to he're just you have to spend this next several months like slightly crinkled a little bit. Uh, that's it. That's just how it goes crazy. That's a crazy way to live, so stupid. There must have been something in the water in that apartment. I think must have been. Yeah, that place is fucking man. Just don't
let's never go back there ever, Just never go back. I actually did go back there a couple. I actually actually went back there a couple you know what, I because I used it to film an exterior shot for a video actually the alien video. The video that we shot where the the area fifty one video. This is after we moved away from it. But I was like, I need an exterior shot for me walking up to our apartment building. But I don't want to show our real apartment building for obvious reasons.
So I was just like, oh, wait, I know our old one. I'll just use that. I'll just use that one. So I did go back there, and I forgot how bleak it was. I forget, like I forgot how to like dreary and set that that. How do you remember how small that lobby was too. It was like a fucking hall like a like a hallway you had to do it was a lobby exactly. It was funny being back there too, because I had these like memories of like, oh yeah, I remember, like I Dubbs saying my name Jeff
to some old lady in this lobby when he came to something. She just ran frightened because when you had really short this back when Ian had really really short hair, so he looked like somebody who could potentially hurt you if you like upset him. Uh So, yeah, that was that was a moment. She was like, to do it again, don't do it again, Ethan stop or Ian. A lot of people, A lot a lot of people came to that apartment. I know John Tron was in that apartment.
Uh. Ian was in that apartment. Uh. Obviously a lot of our friends back in the day. No Zach Zach I met way later, like the apartment while we were while we were moving, but the apartment afterwards. I remember Key Star showed up the apartment we lived in afterwards. That was fucking ridiculous. You were there right after that, Derek, we were there
right after that work. Yeah, I definitely was not there, but I do remember seeing a photo of uh it was it was Bundy Keemstar eyeing each other with their beards and hats in my living room and it's just like, what the fuck is going on? Why is this happening? That is a how did keem start end up in your apartment? Like? That is actually very okay? Okay, so apparently so I don't know if I'm remembering this
correctly. It would actually be good to have Bunty on the show actually at some point, because like he would have memories start Like I don't really fully yeah, yeah, but I think like Bunty messaged me, he was like, hey, is it okay if I bring some people? And I was like, okay, sure, I guess it's a party, you know whatever. I like, it's an E three party, Like I don't, I don't know. It was like one of the first big parties that I threw at our apartment. And then I was like, never again am I doing
this. I'm never doing this again because people just show up. I am not in the type of industry where I can just throw a party and say yeah, bring whoever, because then it's gonna be like, you know, Sky does Minecraft shows up? You know, and that's that's its own problem. This is the big thing. Were content creators right? You can't just tell your content creator friends bring anybody that didn't think about it at the time. I didn't think about the time. He was very new to me.
The idea of that even being like a problem. It's like, oh, that someone would show up, that would be like a kind of a problem for other people. There was very very new. So yeah, he was there, so little Spears Spears was there. Lucy k was beating off in the corner when I moved mind. If I come in your face your face, I would say, wing my you can wing my shoulders. Fine, you can't tell my face, though I would like to have that. I would like to came. Sorry, I'm that much of a buzz kill.
No one come anywhere near me. Yeah, I mean we know now, we know what to do. Well, Kickson, You're in a bad spot for somebody who doesn't want to get com done because you fall asleep all the time and way too easily. There's gonna be a point where you're gonna fall asleep and everyone's just gonna joke. I'd be so myvidous someone came up me, I'd be so love like in that frat culture that like sexual assault like
that is just jokes. You can just bust us over. You fell asleep, brother, that's what you get a video in your mouth and you're like, there's a video. There's a video of Kingston. So we went to a renaissance fair kind of recently with a bunch of friends of ours and we went to see this. It was like some show. To be honest, I was watching the show. I had no idea what the fuck was going on. It was just some some guy making weird noises and like gargling balls.
I don't know what the fuck is going on at the show. But we were watching it and it was loud, and it's a renaissance fair. It's like the sun is beaming on you. And our friend Danny took this video of Kingston fall like falling asleep, and you know what I actually gonna I'm gonna send this to you, Derek, because it's good. It's a funny. It is funny video. It is a really good He falls backwards and almost like crushes a small child. Behind him. No, there was
no child behind me that there was behind you. What I did was falling asleep and I leaned back and I caught myself leaning back, and I was like, holy shit, I gotta wake up. Yeah, and then you stared directly the camera. You stared directly at the camera. When he woke up, it was like, it's like those videos of Toby Maguire spotting the paparazzi at the airport where he just like, but there was there was a seven year old little girl behind you with pigtails. She was a lollipop eating
a lollipop with pigtails. She was like, Mommy, I can't see anything, and this lumbering fella falls backwards and I saw. I watched. I watched her age eight years in the eyes, like I watched her eyes getting CRUs did and like scared for the future. But luckily you caught yourself, girl, she eldered. Yeah, it was a wild thing to say.
I would love to get thrown really hard, like really hard and fast and then hit a bunch of people and they get up as long as I'm completely fine, but a bunch of just getting struck by me, and I'm like, I didn't do this. I didn't do this. I was getting thrown dude. Should we talk about Sho talked about the fact that we saw Spider Man two in teaters. I know that was like a big thing. It was very man, what a what a fun That movie is so fun man,
It's so goofy in like all the perfect ways. Like James Franco is such a goof in that movie, and it is like people were laughing every time he was on street on screen because it's it is just so funny. Because you also can't believe him. He's very difficult to believe. Yeah, Like I was like, you're good, He's probably the worst actor in that
in that crowd. Like watching it in the theater again made me like really, simmit because like a lot of people criticize those movies for having like like or specifically took me Bryan kirston Donese for having like subdued acting, and then you're like, no, this actually like works for what this is. But like James Franco specifically has this like like he he like he like he's trying almost like he's trying way too hard and not really nailing it at any at
any real given point. Yeah, strange, it's a strange strange. Just doesn't he just doesn't strike me as someone who's like he's genuinely upset. Like like I said, like he's fake upset, he's fake mad. I really I feel his I feel like I'm like, you don't seem like somebody who who thinks Spider Man, actually I killed dad, killed your dad. Yeah, it doesn't at all. He's just like he seems like he's just annoyed, Like he seems annoyed to me, and it's like kind of like weird.
He's like just yeah, he looks out of place all the time. By touching me, that is a great that is a great moment though, Like it's like he disrespected me by touching and then he puts on his like obviously two thousands shades. It's so funny. It is so damn funny. But it's so good man. That movie is like that movie like strikes me.
That movie really strikes me as like a Watching it in theaters especially was a strange feeling because I was like it almost felt like watching like like something like Edward Scissorhands, where it was just like I think with like the Danny Elfman music too, just kind of accompany. It's like this feels like like a like a classic in a way that it didn't feel like for a while, and being in a theater full of people that really liked it was really
cool. But yeah, I don't remember seeing I remember seeing one and three. I have no memory of seeing two in the theater. For some reason, I remember I remember seeing all of them, and I very vividly remember seeing three. I've I think I've told the story of the podcast where this walking out of the theater for Spider Man three and in the Fishkill in the Fishkill regal, like not even like the one in the mall, like the one in like that weird the one, yeah, the one with the Boston
Market in and like I remember watching I remember watching it. I had my Spider Man three shirt. I had like the spider symbol. It was like half white and half like symbiote black, and I was like, I was so excited, and I walked out of that movie for the first time in my life disappointed by something that I was looking forward to seeing, like for the first time ever. Totally. God, I really liked three, especially
when I was already I like three more a great film. I like all of those movies more and more every time I see them, but like at the time, like no doubt, like when I first saw Spider Man three as a child looking for like a really exciting final chapter to a Spider Man story, I was so deeply disappointed because it's not good. It's not a
it's not a good Spider Man movie even slightly. But like yeah, as like yeah, if you watch I swear to God, like if you get a little bit high and watch that movie as like a soap opera, you are fucking transfixed on that movie. It is a perfect fucking soap opera, to the point where it's like why didn't this what? But it's strange that it's a good soap opera but a bad Spider Man movie. It's so weird, and obviously it's because of Venom and like how shoehorned he is, and
you know, it just doesn't work. I mean, if you were if you were a like a kid, and I feel like most Spider Man fans well aware of Venom, they really liked Venom, and just what they did with that, like just as just that alone was just kind of heartbreaking. I love it now. I I love that. Eric Foreman of that seventies
show is vin like I love that now. But yeah, as contiversially, I controversially think he's like a he sent Eddie Brock for that Peter Parker, but his venom sucks, like his venom is terrible, Like I don't know why they don't they didn't just do big venom And he's like, you know why not could have turned into a big venom. He definitely could have.
I also just don't. I'm sorry. I look at I'm sorry, I look at fucking tofer Grace and he just doesn't seem like a jerk to me, Like that's not a he is. He is being a little like a weasel, which is fine. Yeah, but I'm like, he just seems like a guy. You're like, hey, man, you're you know, like you would ask him for the time, like, hey, my own time? Is it? Like he might give me the time? I think,
And I think I like that about it though. Yeah, I think I like that, like because I really because he seems like I think it makes him a little bit more sympathetic while also still allowing him to be a weasel because he can't be like he can't be like a full on, brawny like asshole, but he can be like a sniveling weasel, which he absolutely is in that fucking movie. He goes to church and asks Jesus to kill Peter d. That is so out of pocket. That is so out of
pocket. I was like, it is out of put of pocket, but at the same time, it is It is the most it is the most relatable part of that movie because I think, who among us haven't like, who among us have not like we've all gone to church at like twelve in the morning and asked Jesus to kill somebody that we don't like, Like, we've all done that. Everybody's experienced this. It's it's it's a big what it says brushing your teeth in the morning, or or or coming in your
fridge to make sure the smell stays. Like there's all sorts of things that we do on a daily basis. Uh that Like I just think that really touched on a really strong hint of relatability. Uh big facts, But the idea of somebody going to church and asking God to murder someone else is a wild experience. It's needed a settling. Rold's understanding of how praying works. Hey, God, kill my mom. She didn't let me have ice cream last night. It's like, huh, your God God actually did it?
Yeah, Like I love God. He listens your father whart in heaven? Can you kill my mommy? She won't let me have Boudakai two for the p s two. Kill my mom? Thank you now you're grand And then fucking like your momplodes like she just fucking explodes in their meats everywhere you like in Brimstone. In a flash of Brimstone she popped. You're like, yay, your dad is traumatized. The worst thing is it doesn't get you any closer to getting bay because you gotta deal with all this ship now. Now
you gotta bury her. Kill my dad next. My dad will get me boudekie too. Either, what the fuck? Dad? Send me to an orphanage that dear God put me in an orphanage that has Boudakai two, Oh my god. And then and then you get it. You're in the orphanage with bokay to, but all of the people that run it are fucking child
molesters, so you're getting molested daily. But at least you get and they're really good at kai to tragically enough so you can't even You can't even so they he pops you off his laugh after he's done with you, and then you play with and he whoops you out of you. You can't even get lose it every way. I'm losing, not not a shred of a victory to be had in that orphanage man like holy ship, not a little rough
God sounds like pause the wish, the wish exactly. He's like the monkey, I wish for a world means, and then it's uh, aliens come and destroy the world. So now it's nice and peaceful because there's no there's no more conflict. You're like, oh great, yeah, anyway, asshole, clearly theumbass Genie. Ah, so clearly you're a fucking dickhead. That's
what Aladdin should have been, all right. I wish my cock was big and there was no turnback that I can fuck you to you die, Genie, and a Genie's like, yeah, you want to be an ass I could be an asshole too, Yeah yeah, open up. You asked for a really yours your genius, like, Genie, I wish for a really big cock. But it's just really short, and it's so wide that it wraps around the sides of your hips and that's yours. It looks like a
is like a fat stingray. Remember seeing a comic look like that when I was a kid where there was like a pixie or something. This guy catches this pixie and he's like, you have to I caught you. You have to grant me my one wish. And it was like something like adult strip comic thing. And so he was like, I wish my dick, I wish my dick could touch the floor. You know. Just the implication is
that it's big enough to word so disgusting. And then and then so she grants it and he wakes up in the morning and his legs is so short, is on the ground. I was like, that's fucking fantastic. He's got like et legs. He's got et legs. Was like, I would just eat the fairy. Like if I capture a fairy, it's like, wish, I'll just eat it. That's how you do that. Sure, And while it's screamed, it screams and I bite its head off. I just bite its fucking head off, spit it out. Wait, hold on,
I might be getting my package right now. I might, so I'm gonna so but before Okay, so a lot is happening right now. I want to I want to make something very clear. Right if you come on over to patreon dot com slash the snark tank, which you absolutely should do you have you haven't, there's a big question thread that gives you a chance to get your question right on the show. The promise is that if your
question is good, we will read it. Uh, there's a lot, and you know, I have to curate the list to make sure that we're getting some interesting questions, some good ones, because some of them are a little throwaway. Some of you pay money to waste your chance. But Derek insisted that you know, we'll listen. They're paying money, so let's honor.
Let's honor this this payment. So we're gonna go into the first question I subscribed, just get Chris to do blackface, and he writes, ah, so it's the artin a no, it's just yeah, yeah, see see I'm of a different mind. Chris. I actually rather enjoyed that. I actually that was the one thing that I one thing I also I I I relish is making fun of these people and and and putting them in their place for being like, you're a stupid bitch. Thank you for your money,
you stupid pussy. And then and then like they it'll it'll, it'll encourage more stupid pussies to give us more money because they're gonna be like I can look man, like I understand what Chris is doing. I get it, I get it. It's like, oh, let's let's let's filter out the bullshit. But but bullshit is what drives this show. We we gotta, we gotta be real about this. Bullshit drives the show. The if you if you remember every every animated clip that's been done, it's all.
It's not some casual conversation. It's not let's casually talk about some stupid bullshit, let's casually talk about Spider Man. It's something that's completely out of pocket. And so look, man, yeah, if you don't give me your money for me to say a three times man, you know what, thanks, I appreciate it. You know I could use it. That's great.
If nothing you know suck, suck most of my dick. Whatever. Look, I just want I want look at I just I realized that that uh, we have over one thousand people in the five dollar tier and I want that to triple, quadruple. And that's gonna mean a lot of ship questions, a lot of ship questions. And I'm like, you know what, I want those stupid dummies to stick around. I want them to stick out. Stupid dummies. Yeah, I want them to stick around because I love
them. And what the hell did you? What did you get something? Okay, So I want to. I wanted to. I wanted to show this on the show. So give me, give me one second. I have to get changed. So I'm gonna give you I'm gonna give you guys the next I'm gonna give you guy the next question. Uh, what is it? What is it? What is it? I would read names for you for free road And he says, probably very probably a very common question. But have you ever done ad reads for products you don't like? I'll
answer when I get back, Uh, never on this podcast. No, yeah, don't like. No. I have turned down a lot of sponsors because I know that I'll like I've had I've had to tell the people that I was working with that I I can't because this is trash. Or like, say, for example, I remember there was this app. It was called coin something. It was a it was a it was a game, and I can't remember what it was called, but it had the word coin in it. And I checked it out and I was like, this is
the stupidest fucking game I've ever seen. And I was like, I'm sorry, I can't fucking do this. And uh, I'm a lot of channels I watched, like these wrestling channels, they all, this is brought to you, buy this stupid app. But I'm I look at all these fucking assholes taking this sponsor, but it'll give a fuck about this at all, dude, and get your man. That's how That's how most people are though good. This is the way that you kind of have to think of it
in the way if you don't think it's dog shit, that's different. But if you think if it's one of those things where it's like I don't like this, but other people might you. I don't mind people promoting stuff like that if they're like, I may not like this, but I can see other people getting value out of this, So I don't see any problem with that. But if you think this is actually objectively trash, then I would
say that's problematic, I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've never uh, I don't think I've ever done I think maybe I did one ad read for a mobile game that I didn't really play, but I didn't think it was like I talked to some people who did play it, who are like, no, that's a good game, you know what I mean, like, and they actually like they had no reason to lie to me about it. So I was like, all right, yeah, that's
that's fine. I guess it was a fun spot to do too, because like they let me do like they let me do literally whatever, which was like the more appealing thing about it. Where's like, oh yeah, I'll I have no problem like making a commercial for something that I don't like necessarily know that much about because part of the fun of making I don't know, and I just like making stuff. But you know, yeah, that was uh, that was the only thing. I think. Everything else that I've
ever done an ad red for I think, I genuinely actually do. I think I know what you're talking about. I do I know what you're talking
about? Which one you're even referring to? Viking Viking War of Clan like the one that I did Clan or whatever, that that actually falls under the same umbrella the companies called Plarium and that's uh, who who started uh fucking ray Shadow Legends, Like there's the same fucking that that's that's essentially a lot of people, I would say ninety nine percent of people that did an ad for them, you know, they didn't They don't play mobile games at all.
And so I was one of the very few that continue to play and then just kind of actually discovered that whole world, that whole fucking world. It was, uh, it was really interesting. But what do you got? What do you got? Man? Like, what the hell? So? So, so I just so I just got in a So I just got in a test print. I just got in a test print of our merch. This is not this specific thing may or may not be available. I just wanted to get a feel for, like how the printing would feel,
and how the fabric feels, and how the fitting feels. But so this is this is, this is the verch I have. This is Brile. He's he's officially Oh my god, he's on a shirt. It feels kind of good. I don't know. The fit is pretty good. The fit's pretty good. There you will not be able to buy this unless unless you want, Like, we'll leave it up available for like early patrons if
you really like the ship. The story is going to go up. There's going to be a password to be able to get in, and we'll unveil the password on Patreon when the when all the prices are finalized and all that stuff, so you'll be able to get this if you want. But like once the store goes live for everybody, this is going to be gone because this is just such an inside baseball the This is such an in stupid inside joke, and I thought this would be like a perfect way to test test
the material and get him in some way. So I feel like you could you can just slap a little tank symbol in the corner and then relaunch it. So upset that seeing bro Bron just bothers me. Dude, this character is he just irks me. He's so irksome. He is, But it's not his fault. He's a good he's a good dude. He's just difficult to get ahold of. He's got his phone on airplane mode and he doesn't really know how to shut it off, so he's he's always looking for signal
you know, he's a good guy. There's not a bad bone in Brill's body really, So I I take on Bridge with how you're talking about him, because he's a good he's a good dude. But I understand what you're saying. I still gotta get that, got to get that scumbag Kingston shirt that I don't like that. Oh yeah, what was wait? What was it with the Supreme Yeah, the Supreme Supreme Yeah, the Supreme Fund. It's a scumbag. That's good. There's a picture I have the per picture
for that too. Well, well we we yeah, we we, it's already Chris showed it. What was What was the picture that we what was it the picture that we agreed on? It was that you had you had like a sketch, you have that drawing of it, you have that sketch of it or whatever. Oh yeah, that's close to that, Yeah, close to that one. It's another who took that picture? That took that picture? I think it was yeah, probably, yeah, that's good.
Like I definitely, I know it would get a lot of looks and a lot of a lot of people would be inquisitive if you were wearing that out in the streets. Like, yeah, it's pretty hot too that we gotta we might have to do. We should mount rush more of your faces. That would be so disgusting. We could, so we could do I look
like I don't I look like another brace? What we should do? What we what we should do really for for maybe a future merce launch is like, because there's one, there's a really horrible photo of me and Kingston, both of us separately, but like, I don't know if we have one for you. It would be cool if we could have like a like a trifecta where it's where it's scumbags, where it's just like all three of our disgusting faces. Yeah, maybe maybe the one of you in your was that
video where like you caked yourself an ointment or whatever? Oh my god, what was it? Oh yeah, let's do it. When Joker came out, Yeah, I made I made a joke. I did a Joker review and I put on god, what was it lotion and and don't do this, guys, don't put I put spray paint on my skin because I didn't have anything. It was uh yeah, And then I put some gym shorts
on my green gym shorts were my joker hair. I feel like I did something similar to that where when when I did a because I did a Joe Biden video because he had this thing like I think I had like a viral tweet or something that was like if you just let autocorrect finish finish a sentence, uh, then it just sounds like a real Joe Biden quote. And I just did a video where I read all of them and I spray painted. I'm pretty sure I spray painted my hair. I think I had actual
dye. I'm not super sure. I'm pretty sure I had like real hair dye. I didn't don't think I was stupid enough that, yeah, but it was like hair. It wasn't like it wasn't with like a crylic you know, like yeah, it was it was for hair, but like it was like Halloween four hair. And I did it to whiten. My hair barely shows up in the video. It just looks like I have dull hair.
It doesn't even doesn't look white at all. But those are fun times video like that, like stupid, yeah, Jojo, Joe, I missed Biden ransom and Jojo was telling me, I don't remember the other day about like damn, you know, your sketches like like this that all the bits and stuff like that, Like that's I could tell. It used to be fun, you know, you could tell like we you me do some shit, you know, take some time and shoot something, do something really stupid.
I remember having a lot of fun doing a Red Dead Regympson two sketch or just me and my friend having a shootout and I'm riding his German shepherd as like a dog or a horse or whatever and having fun with that, like feeling inspired. Now I couldn't. I just can't. I guess there's just nothing. Nothing's really inspired me. I guess to do that maybe, Like I thought about it briefly when O. J. Simpson died. I was like, oh, I can do something with this. I feel like
I can do something. But then I just lovely whatever. Yeah, for me, it's more about access to me or it's like I feel like to do the stuff that I would want to do, I need cameramen and I don't. I don't know to even bother people with that in the first place, is like I don't know. But yeah, anyway, Yeah, that's true. Who wanted some questions or more questions? I should say sticking out my yacht for the Rizzler. Rode in it says, hey there, buddy
Holly, Bob Marley and Stevie Wonder. Well that's kind of am my buddy Holly. Yeah, I guess it's an odd question. Yeah, I mean it kind of works that I'm Stevie Wonder right now though, so it know I works Beverly again. Yeah, yeah it works. Yeah, look at you mind as fuck right now. We got this blind idiot toying around with that piano. It will never make it. Uh? Is there a music video? Is there a music video that completely scared you when you were growing
up? For me, by the way, this is this, this question dated the hell that made me feel so old because the follow up to this is for me. It was the video for somebody that I used to know, like, which is why a college song that's a college song. For me, I could see it being like maybe like four years old and being kind of weirded out by like the painting thing, but like that's like, you gotta be really young for that. You gotta be really young for that
to freak you out. Dark stuff, dark ominous stuff scared me. Not colorful paintings and stupid hipsters singing like yeah, yeah, I don't I don't fully understand it. But like I was also just not young. I was also just not young. With that video came out, I think to be like, there are because there are things that used to scare me that I can't even fathom why they scared me today, you know what I mean.
Like as a kid, I'm just like why the fund Like I used to be afraid of clowns genuinely, and I'm like, I could just kill you, like I could be I could take a clown in a moment, Like why would I Why was I even But I'm not scared. I was afraid. I used to be Like when I was like really really little, I
was genuinely like they would they would really freak me out. And then I can't remember, Like there was like I had like an aha moment where like my aunt Sylvia who lost me, she lost me in Manhattan several times and my parents still let her watch me. We went to I got lost in the Natural History Museum seven times, to the point where like I got to know the security staff, like I was like, oh, Chris is lost. I don't that's not even that is not a bit. That's not a
bit by the way, that is that is real because they do. Yeah, my parents kids. That was a weird time. That was like, it's so weird thinking about that because my parents are so different now than they used to. Like my parents used to like my mom used to be like a like a like a city working woman, like she would just like work all the time. And then my dad was like deployed, and now it's like my mom's like into raiki and all this like oils and like hippie.
Yeah, it's it's wild. It's like daily flashback my dad and my dad is my dad is in fact still deployed. He's he's on the trenches still, my dad. My dad's a fucking shogun with several disciples and and stuff. It's like going on you imagine you you go back home, Eddie. He watched the Hulu series Shogun and he's completely entrenched in that world. You just he gets flashbacks from the very idea of military conflict, regardless of era, just like anything. Yeah, it's just like, oh, shoguns.
Oh that reminds me of Vietnam somehow. That's insane. But so somebody show too. Yeah, somebody, somebody that I used to know, you'd have to I'll let it pass because I'm assuming that you're very young. I'm going to assume that you're skewing very young. But for me, I don't think
I ever had a music video that scared me. Really like, there was never a music video that freaked me out, because there was always music to a company that kind of like lightened the I don't know, it's just like it was just I was always looking at music videos like, oh cool, the only one that comes to mind, And it's not so much that it scared me, but I just thought it was like super fucking interesting and weird. And I actually think he got pulled off YouTube recently. Was this animated?
It was like a completely animated video, not exactly in this. I think it was just it looked kind of like an anime, but like a really well animated anime. It was called and Derek. You might remember this if you peruse YouTube as much as I did back then, or even like
in the early twenty tens. It was called Fantasy by Die or Die Fantasy lowercase D, capital y, lowercase E, and it was this animated video of like a bunch of like I think high school or like college kids in a swimming pool after like an indoor swimming pool after dark, and then everybody just like a Kira's into these fucking crazy like monsters and it's fucking it's crazy
cool. It's like a really cool video. But I remember that like leaving an impression on me when I was a kid, because it kind of it was really brutal and like really well animated and like the tone of it was like fucking wild for like a kid to see, but it still didn't scare me. I just thought, like, this is fucking wicked. Dn't have you ever seen it? Right now, I'm looking at it right now.
It's a wild Yeah, if you skim through, just if you skim through it, it's it's got some crazy imagery man, like e y E fantasy. Oh it's yeah. It's it's the reverse of what I said. So it's like capital D, lowercase Y, capital E and it's called famine. That's not gonna just yeah, I guess it won't. Yeah, I don't know. I just wanted to correct the record, I guess, because people are gonna be weird about it. Some some someone. Actually it's on Vimeo.
Actually it got taken It got taken off of YouTube, presumably because it was just too fucking crazy. But like it it's too wild. Yeah, it's like hyper sexual and then like in the middle of it, it just gets fucking crazy. Super well animated, though, especially for like a small like I don't think it was made. Yeah, it looks pretty cool. Yeah, I actually I do remember having a being creeped out by one music video. Specifically, it was Marilyn Manson's cover of the Sweet Dreams or Made
of This whatever whatever. Uh, it's because the vibe of that his cover is so creepy. It's such a I mean obviously by design, obviously, and I just remember him having like sharp teeth and I don't know if it's him or somebody in the music videos running around with like a fucking giant diaper, and it was just the we It was creepy as fuck. Dude. I remember being a kid and I was like, I don't like this, Like I don't I like Marilyn Manson. I've heard some of his songs before.
I'm like, oh, pretty cool, but there was something about the vibe of that song that really fucking just like if they played that shit. During medieval times, I think people would have died. I think people literally would have been too scared to like exist anymore because it was just like one of those because I know there was a lot of like minor chords that were not played and minor skills that were not fucking played. Gill was like the
Devil's music. Uh, like that would have real gared the fuck out of people, Like they're just like that. Oh, I just saw the thumbnail. I just saw the thumb nail for episode two twenty five. If you kiss it on Walton Goga, Oh yeah, because I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to fund his open hole his nose. Yeah. Yeah, But what do you think it would it would? Do you think that would sand your dick into the shape of like a
like a it would actually like a triangle. Probably, it's probably pretty rough. It would it would reaches. Uh, I wonder if you'd let me do it, though, Like he's probably he's been alive for so long. He's probably like, this will maybe make me feel something. He's like, you know, maybe maybe this will help me. Maybe there's maybe there's rats in his semen that will help me, say A live longer crazy coming in his nose Jesus well while dagging more like, uh, let's slagg in.
What is that? What was that quote? What was that quote? He said like something like a midday hole like you have you thrace second? So and then he like shoots that guy in the head. What was what did he say? Remember there's like a quote, Yeah, there's like a quality says something like he uses some Spanish phrase and he's like bin bind whole a troop of me vediga away or something, and then he shoots that guy in the head. Remember he didn't want to do it. Snapple owns you who
wrote in He's a swen? How annoyed are you with the misconception that Homelander from the Boys would be a real threat to any average DC superhero? Also, is his comic brant going to last more than more or less than five uninterrupted minutes? Go take it away from Snapple owns you who. It's like, Oh, that's whatever. It's like it's like a thing that people see. You know, people don't read comics, so you don't understand how ridiculous
combat characters are in comics. So they see Homelander like he's like Superman. He can fly and stuff, and it's like he's similar to Superman archetypically,
but Superman would see him once and he would die. Comics come books generally have like the shonan problem where like at a certain point, even like your lower level characters are capable of doing so much ridiculous ship that like there's really not a single person that you could probably put like the fucking Riddler against SpongeBob with his tune force, and like it's probably gonna be close, because it's
just ridiculous, like the ship that these people can do. At this point, it feels its depends on where the characters exist in each each rang real right, like like there's the movies do this. The movies do this too, by the way, Like sometimes like when Superman like reverse time by like flying around with the world super fast, it was like, okay, yeah, that's how time works. That's so cool. That is insane that that
literally would have killed the world. Like if you everything fucking like building strip from everyone, everyone goes flying, like if you, if you, if you offset the rotation of the planet, everything stops for a moment, it
goes flying and then it's just slam the back down. People would hop insane, but this is this is how it is man, you know, like I don't know, like people, we we watch, we read, we see shit on in MC all the time about like characters are like, oh like MC, you Thorn Hulk, like they're both horrifying creatures but and fucking and they're showing it on television, so they can't be as crazy as they
normally be. That's why I think that everything that's cool should be resorted to animation, where you know, we see how cool they are, not just sometimes but I just yeah, I think because those characters are so much so are capable of so much insanity that like seeing them in live action is inherently
uncanny, you know what I mean. It's it's the same reason why I like that Superman like flying in reverses, Like that works in a cartoon probably, but like in real life where you're just like wait a minute, when you have when you're you're a little bit more connected to what's happening, it's
like, oh, that's not really how that works. You can't really have or dragon Ball is a great example, like you can't look, you cannot you can't have Goku fighting freeze in live action, you can't fucking do it. You can't do it. It would look so stupid. Even like that that scene and in Dragon Ball Evolution where he's you in Thekman Man he flies towards Piccolo, like you could potentially animate that in a way that looks badass, But like in life, it's so goofy and dumb and dumb and dumb
and dumb looking. There's no other way to put this every other wordy live action, like anything that has to do with like even like a Hauduken, like a Shinkua Duken, where there have been like live action reuse, even like with like Bat in the Sun or something like that, it just doesn't
look nearly as cool as when it's animated. It just doesn't. It's never replicated well because it just I'm sorry, like everything that goes into the animation, Goku's fucking arms, like getting buffer in the veins and like just the swirling mysticis like you can't really fucking capture that, and it's just like, yeah, it'll always be nerved in comparison to animation, and the thing like
and there are some characters that I think work better for it. I think there's a reason why Spider Man and Batman were like, spider Man and Batman were some of the earliest, like true successes, and it's because those are just kind of inherently a little bit more like they're more and a lot of Like the locomotion of Spider Man works very well in live action. I think that is the only Like I think his swinging and his crawling worked very very
well in live action. Yeah, I think those are done very, very very well. And I think Batman's aesthetic works very well for live action because Batman can exist like someone like him can truly exists for a little while. Yeah, yeah, character a vigilant, a vigilante could do that. A real Batman would not exactly brusuaye, a real a real Batman could exist for approximately two and a half weeks, I think before like I think a while,
I don't know, I would not give it. He would get sniped and some ship, yeah, rifled pretty quickly, like somebody would do something crazy. Yeah. So for me, what bothers me is that live action doesn't really exemplify how quick Spider Making moves. That's what it does a good job on how he like he can get from place to place, and it is crawling, but how fast he is. Right, Like the best depiction of his like his real combatibilities was in Far from Home. He was fighting
all the droids, all those all those robots. That was really like that. It's a very good picture on Spider Man moves. Yeah, it's okay, Well the rest of that movie's pissed on ice, yeah, I think. Yeah. The crime, the crime of that scene is that it's like it's a really good it's a really good showcase of Spider Man's speed and ability, but it's also like shot so boringly. Like it's really like the problem with like a lot of like the modern stuff, it's just like it it's
not a lot of it's like how do you do it? Yeah? Well I know, I know. But like even just even watching let me finish this real quick and to Derek, but like even watching Spider Man two, and even watching Spider Man two in the theater, like even just something like when when Harry's going crazy and the camera like tilts, it's just like that's they're they're playing with the camera. This is fun, this is cool.
But like when you have like just cg the whole time, it's kind of I mean that sequencing with the scene that is cool, but like, yeah, I don't know, we're gonna say. I guess some people do well actually feeding off of that. I feel like some people do miss that, they do miss it, or they go completely the opposite direction where I was
just looking at that scene. I guess it was circulating where there were people celebrating that scene where Captain America takes down that look space jet thing or whatever, like a spaceship or jet, I don't remember what the fuck it was. He just takes it down by himself, and there is probably close to twenty cuts like jump cuts in that entire sequence, and it just looked like what am I fucking watching? And where it's like they're just as it wasn't
one of the Avenger movies. I don't know which one. I don't remember which one, but he like he jumps off a motorcycle or some ship and then he starts like fucking it up with his shield and then he jumps off it and lands. He sticks the landing. It's supposed to be like a really cool moment where he takes down like ah, it's him enough Falcon.
I remember that one yeah, it was. He just takes down a thing like it was you know, it just he takes it down by himself, and it's like a really cool moment where it's like, oh, look what he did. But it looked really fucking insane to where I'm like, bro, this is like it could have been something where the camera's following him instead of it was just cut like a bunch of times and yeah, remember, oh my god, I can't was it Electra or Catwoman? Oh yeah,
Catwoman. It was definitely cat Woman. The basketball exactly the same thing, exactly, this thing just like that, just like, what are you doing? I didn't make her play basketball? Bro. I was like come on. When I saw it the first time, I was like thirteen, I was like, come on, bro, they made her play basketball? Yeah,
she's never played back because she's black. Yeah. Yeah. They were like they were like, well, hey, listen, you're black, right, We're gonna have you played basketball because that's what you people do, right, that's what you do. So we got to really show that you're a superhero by showing that you're not. You're not you're not just playing basketball, You're you're playing extra you're playing basketball plus three man, you're you're on.
I didn't know how Lee Berry was half white, you know that, right, I don't know she was half white woman. Of course she looks a little bit darker to where I didn't know. I would say she her parents would definitely have to be mixed, just because she's not like she's not my skin colors not yours. She's a little bit lighter. Some people are some people it's because someone mixed family at some point along the line. Somebody had to be mixed. I want to guess he's halfway save them with Bob Marley.
Bob Marley's half white, and I know that Marley that see that would shock me. Bob Marley, I guess I never well, actually I never really paid attention to skin like how light he is, but kind of his skin is kind of light. Yeah, because I mean you think about like common you think about certain people like they're lighter, like they have to something have to have gone on. But I get it because it's not like a Drake light. It's not like a what was that guy? That? Yeah,
that's what I mean. Whatever, because they're because they're because they're they're lighter, but they're not like they're with like objective like white features. The way that you can tell that, yeah, the way that you can tell though, really is that like if you if you look, you can't take a photo of Shack and make him white and it looks okay, you know you can't do it. But you take Kylie Baron, you make her, you make her a white woman and it looks entirely recent. Like that's that's
generally like the rule like that that would work. Like she looks like she looks to me like a very obviously half white person. I don't think she does to me really, but I mean a race person. I was. It's an make race person. I was just the white person. This, I got it. This Also white people like crazy like white people to have one black like a black grandparent, and I can tell they're part black instantly. I'm like, you're part black and they're like, yeah, grand I
didn't tell it? How do you? How can you tell? Were they late? No? You know though they were, they were in fact very early. And you're doing something, you're you're trying, You're you don't have to something, aren't you. That's how Yeah, that's that's how I that's how I know. I don't have any I got I don't got a single, I don't got a blacken me. I can't find a photo picture of Shack looking white. My failing him feel before, I feel like I'm failing
Google or something because it's like it's a I white Shack. I guess, yeah, white Chack, white. Yeah, I can't find it. He would look so wrong white man, like you could just tell, like it's just and there are certain people that look totally like Bob Marley. If without the dreads, I feel like you could you could take that guy's skin and make it white and it would look probably appropriate. Well that's that explains why Bob Marley was such a peaceful soul. He was like two warring factions in
his body that like triumphed jo so much anger. Yeah should I mean, it makes no sense if he was He's Jamaican, If he wasn't like smoking every five seconds, you know, he probably was one of the ones that like never had a break. He's a roster too. He should have been fucking fury. He should have had fury in his blood. I think he
was just high like always and so he escaped it. He had he had like he had like th HC like liquid just like in an ivy at old times, like a drip, like a drip drip while I was sleeping, I would die in my sleep. I like I would get so calm I would die. I can't believe I can't find a white check. This is
this is insane, Like this would be the same thing. Like you you understand the principle, right, like if you took a picture of Joe Biden and just like just like paint bucketed his skin into a black guy, the full work so well, it didn't you know, you see you think it did kingson Kickson. That is first of all, that is not what happened. That is a deeply edited photograph. That's not just like you, that's not that's not like you took William the phone and just like change his skin
color. That's like you've edited that deeply. That's what I'm talking about. You can edit anybody into being like whatever the fuck you want. But I mean, just like from a sheer color, skin color change perspective, like that's how you can generally tell if someone's like half white or not. It's like, oh you you are multi you work in both ways. Weird you imagine if I was darker than you, but I had the same exact facial features you men's how confusing that would look. But hey, you're weird.
You're a weird one. You know, it's just cool. Yeah, you're a weird features. Man. You look really strange. I guess racial chameleon, and you strike me quite strange. It's like Freddy Mercury, if fred Ricky really is any young Freddy Mercury related to anybody on the planet. He is so rachally a big yeus is disgusting young Freddy Murcury. Yeah, yeah, he's up in the air. He could be anybody's cousin. He's like
twenty percent white. He's like, he could be twenty He's like he's like yeah, it's it's like fifty percent a bunch of races, and then like the other fifty percent is like like a like a like a beaver, like a mule rat or something something would be looks like you guys got to go back and play residuebul five and one of the recurring enemies that's used one of the models you're gonna be I know you're I knowd they're talking about. Man is not black. Yeah, you know what, I'm not black. I
know what you're talking about. Yeah, they're gonna make a five remake. Not the's gonna make a five remake, not soon, but yes, I think they're gonna go to I think they're gonna go to one. I think they're gonna go to one in like Code Veronica and those things first and then they're gonna do five. They're gonna because they want I think more. I think so. I think they want more time. One though, I think, well they didn't you know what I mean, complete remake of one.
They did the one on the game they did they did on the game remaster of one. No, no, no, they did a remaster of one like before two game. It was on like ps. They did not do though. This was like a this was like a very old like really that Yeah, that's the one remake. It was on the game case. And it sucks. It sucks because well it doesn't suck, it just it is a they stay true to. It's the capcom like you know, uh you when you you have to press forward to go forward kind of a thing.
If I remember correctly remember their old button layout or I forgot, Yeah, it was it was the same basic setup except just better graphics. But like, like that remake is older than the new than the most recent version of one of the most recent version. That remake of that old game is older than Resonable five. Is so like, I think one is kind of deserve The only thing with one is like once not really robust. Pretty I thought
the red one for they did one for PS three and stuff. I'm pretty sure it is three or possibly even actually possibly even I'm pretty sure it was PS three. No, no, no, I'm because I remember I think I downloaded it on p S three. Let's uh yeah, but I think that is I believe that is the game cube version. I think that's the
GameCube. I don't yeah, because there's an age there's a Resonable HD remaster, but like that's not really you know now, because this version right here that I'm looking at is not GameCube, Like absolutely, what is it? So I can send it to you on h on l steamo because the last real like top to bottom remake of Resuable one was fucking a long time ago, like pre Resionable five. Easily. Maybe there's like a fan project or something. No, no, this is you can you can buy this.
You can even buy this on Steam, like there's this is definitely not GameCube like this when you look at it is that would be this would be mind blowing if it was like game Cube, but I'd be like, holy shit, look at this. This is like PS three or possibly even after. Like I'm I'm just trying to see the release on the on Google because it says twenty fifteen on here. But that is a immeding thing to me.
I want to see on Google because when you look at the graphics, you're like, this is this is definitely uh, this is President Evil HD remastered. This was released on PC in twenty fifteen. Yeah, PC. It is a meaning thing to me, But when was it? Like I I think I swear this is PS three. I swear this is PS three. I really do I think this is I don't know, I feel like just look at the graphics. You know, this ain't the game Cube one. No, I'm seeing it. But like they use pre rendered graphics. They
use pre rendered as well in this. That's why that was a big thing about the Rest of Evil remake at the time. It's like, wow, it looks so fucking good because they're pre rendering the graphics for a lot of it and for and now they're like, I guess upresing the normal stuff because this is this is a game that already existed before twenty fifteen, and I'm
positive, I just don't know where. Yeah, I'm thinking it came up because if I remember correctly, I remember purchasing it on PS three like it was like new, Like hey, this is a new project that we have. That that's what I'm you know, I memory, but I Resident Evil HD remay or remaster release date, remaster? Why can I not get a just date? I can't find that March twenty second, March twenty second, two thousand and two. Yeah, but that's clearly not the same thing.
I'm telling you this is what it is. So look at no, this is look at January fifteenth. It said so on Even on the Resident Evil wiki, the remastered for PS four, Xbox A one, and PC actually did come out in twenty fifth, which right, But that's for those systems. It's like it's the same game. It's not a different game. It original. It's not a port, though, I promise you it is.
If it's a port, dude, when have you seen when have you seen something go for PS two to having this type of graphics from an HD remaster alone, just souping, Like, look at what they just did with the tomb Raider games for example, Like this would be that would be a complete one overhaul, almost as if it was a fucking remake itself. Like you just I'm just saying, when have you seen something be ported from that? And look this good? I'm saying, here's here's what I'm Here's here's what
I'm saying. I'm not saying that they didn't do anything. What I'm saying is they they did a remake and it looked really good on the game Tube. I remember that being like a big thing, and like this is a really shop That person rais even one that looks really great on the GameCube. Obviously on the original hardware it looks a lot shittier. But what they did was they just upres the assets to the point where it's like, okay, well now it's like okay, it's the same exact game, it's just in
four K. Now. That's what they did for That's what this is. I'm telling you, dude, Right, I mean, look, man, Okay, I don't know for sure, but I feel really confident based on like my osmosis through like Colin and like all this stuff about Resident Evil that like, there was never a Resident Evil one remake for the PS three solely it was always a port of like an older version. I could be wrong. The comments will let us know, because I'm sure there's probably like some
Resident Eval heads in the end of because I genuinely don't know. I could be wrong entirely, but my gut is telling me that this is an upres four K remaster of a game that already existed on the game cube. If if I'll just say this, if that indeed is what it is, then that is the best remaster I've ever seen out of anything, ever and ever everything, because like, say, why not do that? For why did
they do it? For say, for example, there is a Dreamcast version of Residueval two that looks infinitely better than obviously the one that came out on
PlayStation. Now, why not just take that and then put that on PS four and all of a sudden it looks like, oh, this looks like actual PS fucking four graphics like this, because that's basically what when you look at this, this doesn't just look like an upreservour K Like there's no fucking you know how, Like it doesn't look it doesn't look like PS four,
though it looks like PS three. It looks like PS three is what I'm is what I meant to say, But like it doesn't look like it doesn't look like whenever you take any old game and you just just you know, you upscale it, there still has all the sharp corners and stuff, it still looks like it's very dated. And when you look at this, I'm like, this doesn't look it's definitely enhanced in some sort of thing. I think I think it's literally. I think it's literally. I think it's literally
because again I think they pre rendered. They pre rendered the backgrounds again, which allowed them to make a lot like higher quality models for the time than was usually allowed. Like I could I could be totally fucking wrong. I'm not like a scientist sounded like resid evil. I don't even know. There's something in my hooks exactly Like the graphics look like Resnevil five When you just look at this ship, and I'm like, bro, that that they had
to do. They've had to have done more work than just upscaling, right, But it just means it's it probably is it. Probably they probably did more work. I'm just it's but it's not Resident Evil two level, you know what I mean. It's not that it's not like it's not like a complete real It's definitely not. It's because, like you're saying, it has the same kind of layout. I was playing it and I got frustrated. Actually I was playing it. Uh I think I was last year or something.
I think I was just playing it because I was like, oh I want to play so yeah, I last played it in uh just almost a year ago, and I got upset because I ran into a I ran into a trap or you know, you take something off of this statue and then this like spike shit starts coming up and the squish you and I just turned
the game off of that because I was like, fuck this game. I was like, I forgot sometimes I forget how puzzle heavy the older Resideval games were compared to like how they modernize it where it's not as annoying and yeah, the it's it's it's half puzzle, and I was like, I just want to shoot stuff, I want to kill zombies, and I hate the puzzle. Okay, so annoying, you're so stupid. It's actually great. So long winded, Yeah, I found a great example. What you got
where Like, okay, so here's Gamel. Granted it's an old it's a video from ten years ago, Resident Evil remake the GameCube. This is like from the original GameCube version, like and capture you obviously with obviously with some compression, but you can kind of see, like the resolution's bad for sure, and they definitely like souped it up. They definitely like probably like replaced the models and stuff. But it looks really fucking good for two thousand and
two. Man, Like that's crazy actually because games look like fucking Garbo back then. If you skim through it, you can kind of see, yeah, this is how I felt when if you looked at Okay, that's even there, so maybe no, that's fair. There's even reflections. There's even like reflections on the floor like like that look like that look like ray tracing, but it can't be. It's just all pre rendered. So like I think, I don't know, I could be wrong. We gotta wait for
the artist. I'm genuinely now I'm more on your side where I'm looking at this and I'm like, hey, uh, I can believe that they just massively overhauled the graphics and and it looks because yeah, it doesn't look that bad. Actually, so it probably is because I mean it does Bury for sure depression. But yeah it does say it's an HD room Master. It doesn't say it's remade, so it's I could just be totally wrong, and
I'm just really fucking impressed. I'm just really impressed with how they because the way the way that looked at it, I was like, oh, they just remade the same game, but like with just better ship, you know, like better graphics, Like, yeah, yeah, this shouldn't take this shouldn't take long. But no, it probably was just a massive overhaul in the way that I have seen some Skyrim shit that looks really fucking impressive, right compared to how it actually works. Yeah, oh my god, I'm
crazy. Yeah. I put on an AK overhaul when I had a ship graphics card, and I remember passing by a fucking waterfall and I was just like, oh, it's over. I tried to play home Jet when I was home in New York for the live show. I tried to play Hell Divers on my old PC. Uh with some friends of mine. I was like, yeah, let's pay some hell divers and it was running at like five frames a second on lowest settings, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? And I forgot that. I forgot that. I
didn't put my old graphics card away. I just kind of put it in the computer, because like, why would I put it, Like I need a graphics card in this computer on some capacity. I'm just gonna store it in the computer record use it. It's a gt X nine eighty trying to run trying it. Oh my god, Oh my god, dude. So I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. You poor a little, you poor a little. I'm trying to push my video games to the limits on this computer and it doesn't work. Everything is just like, oh it
runs fine. Well, yeah, the amount of what you described to me, and like the amount of money invested, it should run everything in existence right now smoothly. And if it doesn't, you wasted your money. So I run Balder's Gay three at its best settings. Damn, you are trying to overclock the game and it makes no he makes no noise. And I'm like, yeah, I stopped, and I stopped investing. I don't think anything else is gonna get past that. Really, yeah, I don't.
Probably, I don't care, like it will probably be crazy. We're we're approaching a point in time with video games where it's like everything looks good enough to me. Not at four K, I'm fine, Like at fourteen forty it looks great to me, and I'm just like, give me more frames, Like I'll play something at ten ADP with good frames, you know what I mean, Like I could give a fuck lass. Really yeah, fourteen forty is perfect. That's like perfection. That was as good as anything ever
needs to be. Really yeah, No, I feel you. I feel you. I'm That's why, Like I when I upgraded my card, I didn't upgrade into something insane. I'm going to do one more and then I'll stop for a very long time because I'm already you know, like I was
such a console game for so fucking long that I don't need. I didn't need, Like it was like, say, okay, I remember playing Xbox one and being at my friend's house with his PC and seeing the difference was pretty insane, Like he was playing Shadow of more Door and seeing I was playing Shadow Moretor on my Xbox one he's playing it. I was like, oh, yeah, this is hilarious. I could see the fucking difference.
But once I pretty much got to his level, I was like, I'm okay, Like I'm I'm now like triple that since that with that year, and I'm like I'm I'm I'm kind of good. I'm all right. I really it's really now about performance more than anything. It's like, all right, let's just let's get these frames nice and smoothed out and do some I was playing Dragon Music Inquisition. The fucking cut scenes are so hard to watch because it's like thirty frames and it's weird. I don't remember being thirty frames
when I was, oh, yeah, it's a rough game. It's a rough game. I can do thirty no more, dude, Yeah, weird like thirty guys. Yeah, I try to use a mod to get a sixty. It didn't work. Piss me off because I was like, I would rather play weird, dud. Yeah, I would rather play a game at ten eighty at the highest framory possible than four K at thirty easily, right, Like thirty so gross to me. My players just automatically set to
put everything on performance mode immediately yeah, mine too. I was just like, I'm not doing what the fuck automatically? I don't care what fuck about that ship? Ye anyway, for sure, try and get onto somebodies that we got two more we can do it, take our time with or run through whatever. Bo Gidant wrote it and he said, greetings boys, I
have a question that will challenge both your historical and combat knowledge. If every American president got into battle, into a battle royale, fight to the death, no items, that's important. Who would win and why? Certainly not Joe Biden, certainly not Jimmy Carter president, giving every president, Like are we talking about everything? Every president? So we're talking about every president at the time while they're president. Let's clarify that first and foremost, Wait,
what okay? Because a lot of them are already dead. Them already dead, so that would be a really okay. So to choose them as they're elected, basically like when they're swearing them themselves into office, who would win in a famous picking up at least two of them are eating them. It ain't lasting long. I don't think I think Abe was. I think I think he was most Yeah, it'll fall immediately. It's like an a you know where you just like, I think Obama's lasting a long time. Man,
I think I think Obama might take it. Obama. I think Obama might. I don't know, actually, because Obama is like a I think I think who what who do you think was in better physical shape as a president than Barack Obama? Actually probably a lot of the think I think so, I think physical shape, they're I think you're considering their physical shape at
that time. That's why now I'm so to me, how I'm thinking about it is, I'm immediately writing off every president after the fifties because they're like in comparison, like they're just like they're soft, like they're they're they're pacified by like the comforts of modernity, like they're not there, not out there. Like there's no George Washington among presidents after fifty who were like in the woods, fucking ripping the heads off of British people. You know what,
I like with their fucking wooden teacher George Washington. I think George Washington would be terrified by Barack Obama's negro physique. I think thou be, like, what the fuck I think, George, they were We got to enslave them. Do you move to George Washing. George Washington is lasting pretty long. I don't know if George Washington would take it, but I think it would last pretty long. I think he's lasting. That's very long. I think
those are people. Those are then people. I think that's the thing is like people are then were more willing to kill. But I don't think they were physically in better physical form. That's better. Everything that's better. Yeah, they survived everything like they're that's true, but like they didn't have their survival. I think in a way that Obama is not. That is true. I like this right, like like think of it like this Chris are
telling you know, ancestors are probably way more lethal than us. But I could probably pick one up and fucking fling one like a rock. The legality kill me. They could kill me. They could kill me because they're more capable of killing, like they're more murderism or Pharaoh. But if it was a contest of strengths, I would I would. If it's not a contest of strength, what do you not know about battle royal? It's contest of letality, I'm saying. I'm saying, if there was a contest of strength
between the two. We're not talking about that. We're talking about contest of lethality. What are you talking about? Because then like this like like do you might get an argument about like we might as well get in an argument about which we don't know the drums better? No? No, no, thinking about this right, Like George Washington runs up to Brock Obama, want
to ax I tries to grab the action him. Barack Obama grabs George Washington's arm as down and that may outpower him, not may just outpower him. I think he might. That is so crazy. Do you know how tall George Washington is? If and how he was? He was? He? Oama? He was? He's a fucking ghoul dude? Was he that? Or? Was he? Was? He really another goal too? Was he one of those crazy song ones as well? He was? He was?
He was like a regular hype person. He's got like no, he's got like rads all in him, so he's like fucking He probably really fair. I think that's how he got the ship the transam was six to Was he one of those guys that he was pretty much if you were tall back thought he was a tiny I'm wrong? Then you were gonna be at least if you're tall. Back of the day you were, you were a leader. That's just how it worked. Yeah, bigger, they're the same height,
I would say, but like, uh no, combat watching better. I think he pulled this. You know who my wins they were tough ready. Reagan proved he was tough already. Like, actually, here was a tough motherfucker. Dowey. He was Dowey. He got shot. No man. Well when he became when he first became president, he wasn't fucking he wasn't wasn't a bitch. He was kind of still he was always a bitch. An he's an actor. Yeah, I'm not. Was he like, I'm gonna give it to No, he wasn't right if he was, then,
I just don't know. I just I guess I just don't care enough about knowing that I feel like I can, I can I say something, don't want to. I don't know. I don't know how controversial this will be, but I think I think Teddy Roosevelt's probably I think Teddy Roosevelt's probably last until the last at least three Teddy, Yeah, definitely, he ain't going out of I mean Teddy's been about the ship, so he proved he was about the ship. Did he didn't he steal a bear and make it as
like, homie, he's a beast master. Sure, Yeah, of course he did. Yeah. I thought I thought that. I thought some bush like that, like it's probably far fetch. But didn't he like, all right, you're my friend, now, bear, I'm gonna say, Look, i'm gonna give. I'm gonna give taffed if if there's no if there's no if there's no pens or anything, I think taff because I think he was fat as shit. If I remember correctly, I think he was the
one he was. My memory sucks so bad that I think he's the one that started the seventh inning stretch in baseball because he would have to stand up after a while, and when the president stands up, everybody has to stand up, so he would have to say because his ass would go numb, if I remember correctly. So he's like a big motherfucker that would be hard to take down. So I would give him a larger chance to like at least survive in the later rounds because he just has a lot of meat.
But as far as savagery, goes. I'm probably gonna give it to Ulysses S Grant, cause I think he was just like a drunken, fucking maniac that would probably probably tear a lot of people apart. You know, he would last pretty well. I think like he's Yeah, I think he would be. I would give it to him, Like if we're gonna like talk
about all the presidents. I feel confident that because like, you gotta be a savage to like be able to just deal with these deviant fucking Southerners just you know, just keep coming in and fighting so hard for slavery, and you're like, God, damn, these motherfuckers are I really want to keep them? They really want to keep them? Goddamn, Like maybe I should
make Jesus ship am I the wrong side? Would you think that? Could you imagine thinking that, like these motherfuckers are fighting so hard, like like maybe there should we just let them stay slaves? Dude? That's so wild, Dude. They're really they're putting there, They're putting their balls to the wall right now, goddamn fighting so hard for something that's not even benefiting most of them. Most of them do not have slaves at all. I think
now so interesting question. Who do you think is the first one dead? The first one dead? Trump? Now, I don't think. I don't think someone Trump would talk shit and someone murder him. He would talk, That's what he does, he can't help it. He would open his mouth, he would say some funks, and then Washington would slap the top of his that off. I don't think it would last long. I think he's out in the first like ten people for sure, like, but I don't
know if he's the first one. He like, he'll probably coward, he'll probably turtle up, will shell up for a while. So he'll last a little bit longer because he shells up because he's gonna get slapped, someone's gonna slap it, beat up on. But he survives technically longer longer. I hate you, No, I think all of you presidents are worse than me. I'm the best. You guys all time that would pick up a fucking spire of rock and throw at him and kill him. So so let me
am I wrong. Maybe one of you can fact just fact check this for me. But did FDR have polio when he was like elected, like you like the whole time? I don't know that I'm not sure. Let's see, yeah, or if it happened later, I don't. I don't know when. If he has polio, he's like one of the first people gone. I like, he's my favorite president probably, but like, yeah, no, shot, he's lasting along. If he's a polio riddled fucking freak,
I think, yeah, I think he had. He was elected, all right, so he's he's one of the It's between FDR Jimmy Carter, and Warren G. Harding. I think those are those are the three people who are probably going to die first. I think, yeah, Jimmy Carter is too nice. Jimmy Carter's too nicely, was the last good human being to be a president really or probably probably the only really good person to become a president. And they're like, get too soft. Yeah, he just
doesn't. He doesn't have it in him to survive a battle Royale. He's my favorite president though. It makes me sad, but I do think he'll get boxed to death, like you know, like he can't run away or nothing. Probably, Yeah, but Center is probably fun. Yeah, but no one's not letting that happen. That's kind of thing. It's like he's not he's not winning Warren g Harding. I think is funny because he's he's famously like he he's the one who wrote like a couple yeah he was,
well he was. No, he's the one who died in a in a train, like he died on a train eating like I think he ate bad lobster or something. But like he wrote on it, he wrote somewhere like it's the famous thing that he wrote he said. I think it's like after the first couple like days in office, he wrote on like a piece of paper that they found. I guess later it says I am not fit for this office and never should have been here. So like he's out, like
he's he's completely, he's out. He's out immediately. He has no self confidence. He cannot carry himself through a battle royal, can't even eat a lobster. Yeah, he got done in by a fucking lot st that's so stupid. But yeah, I think that's probably. What if they gave him a more noble death and they said that it was like lobster poisoning, but an actual lobster just clawed him to death. What if like imagine he was gonna boil the lobster and the lobster actually fought back and one like it it
He fucking he fell over. The boiling water actually got on him, and then the lobster finished him off. He was so feeble that a lobster with like a normal lobster, nothing special about it, was able to get the upper hand of him in combat and murder him. They're like, we'll just say this is way too I love the idea. I love that idea of him just like in the kitchen being like, well, I'm gonna make myself
I'm gonna I don't know what. He sounds like. He's a fucking from the I don't even know how long ago, but he's like, I'm gonna cook myself up a lobster. And then he what is it? What even happens? Like he goes to put it in and then like the zip ties around the lobster like snap, and then he like it reads like behind it and like flips him into the pot. Fucking stupid. I think my scenario is a little more believable, you know, like the alive he gets alive,
you know that is so crazy. Judo flips him into the fucking pot where his head is just hit it only his heads on the pot and he's sticking out of it. He's boiling the dead. He can't figure ot how to get out of it. It's like it's like in Kung Paw when he can't figure how to get out of the tiny net. He's like, my head's in the ball, my head's in the in the in the pot. I can't figure it out. He just can't just pull his hat. That's
where they got That's where Kumpoal got it from. They got it from the real the true history of warranty, the real history of the death of I love that idea. So I really like the idea of him reaching to put
the lobster and then it's flipping him over it and into the pot. It's like what the newspaper is gonna be like President Warren g. Harding, just like what the Warren g Harding found boiled to found being boiled, bloody lobster in jail for questioning, Yeah, next to a gloating some witnesses say, giggling lobster. It's just like it's just like it's just emoting. It's just fucking like celebrating that it just fucking did it and doing the Fortnite Basic dance
doing it. It's just he's just and then they they fucking you know, they put him in prison. They what I think they started the electric chair around that time, right, They definitely have a crude version of it. They probably they probably just sit you in a chair and wait for lightning to strike a bunch of batteries. They probably put you on a bunch. They probably put you in the chairman of a bunch of batteries and the rooms full the outlets and they dashed water on you. Wait case, why do they
have batteries? It not the electric chair. They haven't figured out that makes the chair electric yet. They got batteries though, I don't know. I don't know. No, I mean, you could where a lobster just freaking ropeing dope someone into a fucking pand lobster Japanese lobster that learned judo and it just made it to the shores of America and got um lucky until it struck
that they found the right time. He couldn't get out of nets, he couldn't get out anything, but he could judo flip the fuck out of somebody. Bro. The sheer density that the density of that lobster must be insane to be able to like flip another person over itself while remaining basically in the same spot. Like I'm almost I'm almost imagining it, like like the lobster is the hinge and Warren g. Harding is the pendulum. Like the lobster
almost doesn't move, it is suspended in mid air as it flips. It's just for no that that is an incredible lobster. I'm glad that we discovered this. Uh, this this this this death that was lost to history. I'm glad that we brought it. Yeah, it's our listeners. It's sad that so many people don't know about it. And what's even crazier is that that lobster was later released on parole. I think recently, like in twenty twenty three. I think he was he's out on he was on on parole.
So yeah, lived for a long time. Lobster's lived for the least five years, hundred years lobster lifespan. I think that the oldest uh animals on the planet. You lived for about one hundred years. This wait, when is Warrangey Harty. I don't actually remember what president he was. It might be too late. I don't hardly know either. Uses in the middle of all the ones, I don't give years in office nineteen twenty three,
forty years nineteen twenty three, so it's literally one hundred years. It's it's literally possible that lobster is chilling and and is they sent that lobster It was a baby at the time when it when it killed him, and then it's been in prison for the last century, and it's it's about to be released with only one year left in its lifespan, and it you know, there's there's photos of him on like the beach in Tuscany. It's pretty wild.
Yeah, you know, it was cool. Uh. Kim Kardashian in her new her new crusade of getting people off out of prison who are wrongfully you know, convicted. Uh, that was the first actually she actually got them out. And uh, yeah, nice series on Spotify that I listened to about it. It's really good. And the lobster didn't interview, you know, it was you know, I didn't really understand. I think it does Morse code because it just like does the little claw things. Yeah, it
was dally understand what was happening. I think he tried to crack a couple of jokes because like there was a point where like the interviewer laughed, but like I just didn't get it because I just I don't speak of the click language of the lobster. But it's a really fat Everybody, really look up that interview if you want, because it's a really fucking fascinating interview, like
because there are there are subtitles even though it's audio only. Uh. And they go into some really in depth discussions about like he goes into like because he he he goes into how he does it, like like the lobster went into how he flipped him over into the into the pot of boiling water. Uh. He goes over what life was like for a lobster in prison. They had to build like a special cell for him because he was too like he could just walk through the bars. Yeah, it's it's a pretty wild
story. And for like one hundred years, he and what's crazy about it is he's completely unaware of like all the technology that is that has happened in the last one hundred years. So he's like there's like a there's like a video of him like walking out of the courthouse and people are like taking photos of him and he's and he's freaking the fuck out. He's tweaking, dude, like he doesn't know what the fuck is going on. He's like, what what you know? Yeah, he's taking bread, he sees like he
sees cars and stuff. He's trying to cross the street and cars are freaking them out. And then he eventually gets a job at a grocery store and you know, his like hands are hurting and stuff. He's bagging. He's asking the boss like, hey, can I go to the bathroom And he's like, for the last time, you don't need to ask to go to the bathroom. And he's like okay, And it shows him back in his
apartment. He's like, man, life's really hard. So he you know, he's carves something in there and he's like, you know, you gotta get busy, lib and get busy nine and he and he hands himself. It was really nice if Kim Kardashian to set him up with that apartment by the way, like because there's there's Yeah, he's so not fiticulous, he's so not fit for the work, for the work environment. Now he's been out of the public conscience for like one hundred years, like so much has
change. I bet he probably got his first like minimum wage check and thought he was fucking loaded because he's like, oh my god, seven seven dollars like whatever it is, like fifteen dollars an hour. Oh my god, I'm gonna be rich in moments. But like, yeah, that's not how it is anymore. Anyway, Yeah, that's a anyway, thank you for asking the question. I don't know if we determined he would he would win, but I think we narrow we narrowed the conversation down to interesting enough.
I'll give it a Grant just because, yeah, you know, I'm towards Roosevelt, but I would I'm lean towards Roosevelt, but I would give it to Grant too. Probably there's something about that guy that like seems unhinged enough that he would have no problem just doing doing away with most people. And the last question, what the fuck was that? Maybe I load driff and splatter. He wrote it, and he says, probably a question just for Chris and Derek. But have you guys ever thought about using AI for some
of the gay song covers? Of course, I'd rather hear you guys do the work but it's also funny to almost hear the exact actual singer singing the gay lyrics. I I haven't. There was only one time I thought about doing it. It was because I've been putting a bunch of them on Instagram, and it was for the a CDC cover. Because it's a hard one to his voice, Yeah, Brian Johnson sounds like a fucking bird, and
like it was really hard to do. I did it as well as I could, and it was still bad because it's just I can't do it. It's fucking It's he has a very unique voice in a way that I'm like, wow, you just I just don't know. I can't get my throat to emulate that. And so I thought about using AI for it. I actually even I was looking through the best thing to do. But as I was kind of doing research, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? This is stupid? Like who cares? Like if this is it's a
part of its almost joke, who cares? I think part of it's almost funnier if it's if it's not exact, you know, I don't know, like if we just radioactive, but we but we just used like the original guy like I don't know if that would have been nearly as funny as it wouldn't have it would have it probably would have been like impressive and like in the in the same vein as mister Crab's doing a Billy Jean is. To
me, it's not funny, it's fun it's awesome. Like it's like I was like, dude, this is really good and and and and I'm not laughing really, I'm more I probably laughed for the first thirty seconds and then after I'm just like, man, this is I'm really fucking could I feel the way about these things that I feel, like, do you guys remember diddy uh that that that app could type in? God, I still have a video saved them. I save things way just put the N word a
bunch, and I have save saved. I want to share it often, but I'm like I can't. I'm really sad that I didn't say like, because I made some really funny ones that like cracked me up for like weeks and then like my phone was yeah, I was so happy with it, and then like my phone, I never really back up things from my old
phone really, like I just don't. I don't know, it's it's I like to start fresh whenever I have the opportunity to, so like, I only really select really specific things, like, oh, these are photos of my friends or my or my family, or like moments that I specifically care
about. But all that meme shit just kind of went away, and I'm like, oh, man, I wish I had I really wish I had saved some of those, because some of those were bangers, man, And I don't know, and I'm sure I posted some of them on Twitter, but like, I don't even know how to find those at this point because it's so many years ago and I'd have to scroll through so much. I don't remember the time frame, I don't remember the month of the year.
If you can remember in the caption, that's your closest bet of finding someone. Well, that's the thing. I don't even think I put captions on. I think I just I think I just tweeted them without context. So well, yeah, there you go. But yeah, I actually I've never considered it. It was yeah, I don't. I don't think I'm gonna do it. And some people it was weird. Some people thought on Instagram it was AI that I was using, and I'm like, are you stupid?
Like it's it's clearly not the artist, like it's I don't know. I feel like it would be such a terrible AI too if if it was like some people, some people are just too some people are too stupid, and and and then I get disillusioned, uh with reality. I guess because I'm like, dude, this isn't it should be impossible to be the stupid. It should be impossible. And then it's not not impossible. It's not nothing's impossible to with faith in the Lord. Bro, nothing's impossible. That's
true. You give me a stupid in prayer. Bro, nothing's impossible. Prayer, You too can get Jesus to kill Peter Parker. Let's get on with the end. Jesus, the end of the show. Thank you all for thank you all for tuning in, Thank you all for watching. Remember celebrate my birthday. Yay. I'm gonna go, I don't know, hang out with a family. I don't want to do it. I really just want to show honor. Now we're doing I'm nothing, nothing with my friends.
I just don't have time to do with my friends. After we have to pack. Yeah, we're going to get dinner with the family. They're gonna be late like two hours is that's how Mexicans are. And then then then I'm gonna come home pack and ready to leave like early the morning. But I'm going to the zoo tomorrow once to the same day. I'm really excited about that. Oh you're gonna watch all these torture animals. That's cool. Zoos are in fact, not only for torturing animals, just for keeping
in my life sometimes too. Yeah, a little torture little life thing, bad bro, keeping torture, little life name, bad bro. Fair enough. Yeah, you can't get everything you want. You know, you live panda? Was that live panda? You gonna have to let us throw shit at you sometimes? Sorry with the panda. You gotta make a choice, fair enough man. You Uh yeah, there you go. I got nothing to say to that. I have no rebuttal All right, guys, all right, count me down, Chris, Ah you want to do it.
No, I'm not doing that. Murdered well, you know you did offer, so happy birthday. I'll count you down. You want to do it, Dirk. Nobody wants to do this. That's a bad question. I mean, next time, when I don't have my sunglasses on. I'll do it all right, I'll do it three, let's go two one evil method man be like we're pixies. Were pixies. I did not know she was sixteen. Fred Flintstone in blackface screams, I Yabba dabit, didn't do nothing.
The home Depot day laborers who touched my son the owner of Derek's foreskin. The yellow hair is trans mask pussy Lily drinking piss is so disrespectful to her, to her character, to her character. Imagine Jurgen's turri and pussy in this life for the next. I siphoned every last drop of piss from swing shriveled boy balls just to chuck in front of Lily Maker jealous. It's
a prank. Bro as he places semen in his penis that's wild. Wipe me down because I'm covered in Come, little boozy Jack, the world's fastest majority bethesa fallout is OG fallout with the hay oh wait hot bethesa fallout is OG fall is too oh is to og fallout what the Halo Show is to the og Halo trilogy? A I would disagree. Uh, my boyfriend sprayed
me with the shower handle attachment so I called him Chris water Gun. He later topped me, well, god bless, wow, it's okay, congrats man, It's like, whoa, I don't know how to What does that mean? What is that? What is the implication here? He's definitely skipping parts. There's definitely parts of skipping parts. Yeah, because the implication journey, because the implication is that the reason this happened is you called him? Is you called him a joke version of my name? Nick has done sucking
immediately immediately. I love war, Charlie, I love war. Big Meaty stinks Andy the man whose handies are escr and Dandy sticking out my gap for the rizzler. If Derek was tall and light skinned, he would look like a gore on uh Heath Smoker Charlie Sheen joining the mujah Hadeen bending over Tom Sween and inserting his pen on Halloween Chris ray cum mal Don Gatto, huh weird. I don't know that looks kind of strange. Yeah, Terrika Sheet's
secret white gay lover s'more move homeless transferm who comes Drake raped Kendrick. Also Derek is sex monk Monk petition for a waffle house stage in tech and eight that would be that would go hard to be sick? Uh do that? Mortal Kombat? Yeah, so it's such a good idea. That's so smart. I sneeze one big cube of solid matter on the daily. All right, my queer spear begaving men's balloon knots like a child's talk at a birthday
party. Ah. One of my lecturers got cucked by the lead singer of the Pixies gay Ot Genesis Bee like I'm in love with a Homo, SpongeBob, piss Pants, mister Pants, Chris Bitchnado and swing black Man, how you feel about it? Into the line final shape ball of the first since spump offutters, what if instead of I Love Lucy, the show is I
love pussy and it was about me? Well, unfortunately for you, I'm already and I'm already and talks to start this show, So you can't have it, jolly old dipshit captain of the Starship Enterprise, lu Jean Pecan. Uh, I don't, I don't. I don't get that one. Patrick hit him with that autistic flow black Steve Miller be like, I'm a picker, Oh man, I'm a picker. I'm a grinner, I'm a lover, I'm a yeah yeah. Can you figure it up? God? Damn, May the load dry up and may may thy load, May thy load
drip and splatter ciphergraph fiber glass, fleshlight prank. Oh my god, that is crazy. What's so mean? That is beyond, that's fucking demonic. That is a fucking that is real. That is woh Man villainous Ao Philly looking way better than New York right now, gay butcher Pete be like he's whacking and jacking and packing it so a dumb hunter Dubois hosing, uh hosing
the homeless with dirty brown water. Uh given top to my fortified penis fat nerds blowing hot monstrously think bombs, lash slash car My dictates takes four sharp lefts, Nascar, Lily's asparagus binging piss dealer, the back, the back to the tank of piss. Caucasian contained to the crack about for gays, disgruntled Donald Trump burping on Dom's clip Super Earth is this regular with the Israel Max silhouette. Two cheers to the bestie for coming out of the closet.
Hip Hop, You're gay hip hip you're gay, So Tom, she pipped it on my Pippa possum Rosa Mulano. We are rebranding the Snark Tank as the Spank Tank. Maybe slightly above average clip energy. It's okay, Hunter, you can say the say it. We won't tell. Just the hard ruh star coffee ripped the digital Hookah. Now I'm getting molested on the set of Embryonic Sheldon Uh. Taylor Swift is the most overrated artist alive. This album sucks. Yes, it's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. Album
is awful. Bro, it's awful, dude. Somebody who doesn't like like, I don't hate Taylor Swift really. I don't hate Taylor Swift really, but like I always try to, like, I don't know. I give it a chance. I give all music a chance generally, Like, if I hear about it's like, yeah, I listen to that album, it's bad. Even by that standard, I gets rough. I think I have always thought she's relatively unremarkable, and I think that's why I I have I
have. I have a really serious problem with female singer that are on That's it. That's it, that's where that's where it ends. Get praised like I get I get really bored about it because I think some of the greatest I think most of the best singers ever are women. Like they're like, there are so many fantastic horny have the having better range. That's just how it is. The but like lin O, horn freaking Donna, Summer Houston.
But like I love all of them, right, And then like there's people that like this is a great singer, and I'm like, where are they great singers? Like Adele? She makes boring music, She's a fantastic singer. She's waste of Ohio by going homeless to pay you function. This is now his memorial rip John. She's not transfer dumb bitch made. She's
frightening people with lactose Anderson nine million ridings and bonizing radiation worms. Uh Canadian crazy Canadian christ threat whatever, that's fine, whatever, I don't care. What do I show up? Whatever? Take whatever? I got nobody at home, Craig the Canadian. My favorite part of the Snark Tank is the credits. You should start the show by reading them. No, it's your
boy, Shawne d friendly neighborhood sex offender. If I won one hundred million bucks, I pay Hans Zimmer to write twenty million to write a score about all about my fat cock and golden cump. This is why you do not have one hundred million dollars by the way, yeah three XO, and the
boundless nostalgia resulting from the site of old game and former covers. The Homeless Cat that Shane Dawson impregnated, Slurpin's stroking, smoking joking Emoticon's going like this, drip mh Lord of homeless Drip. Sylvester Stallone's spinning piss into Lily's mouth like a mother bird feeding her babies. Oh my god, that's heinous. The idea of the idea of Sylvester Stallone baby birding piss into anyone's mouth at all is fucking wild. How he feeds his kids, Lily, go mere,
Lily. It comes out as fucking nostrils hard or just put your mouth up to his nostrils like like like like you know the hamsterd thing you gotta like, It's like it's like a fucking nasal spray. Uh deuce man, milk Obi, won't you blow me? Jackson vernon Norwegian Game to have developing spanks, the quest Kremlin to gremlin. Hey Derek, who sucks the best stick out of the group. I'm gonna steal your bones. Ha me, I threw that come before I came in the room. Many men, many
many men, wish sex upon me. Zoo by Denzel Fury. She blowed me away until my until my Benjamin breaks. Imagine if those flying monkeys grabbed Chris from his seat and molested him mid air. That would have been crazy. That would have been fucking jarring. Yeah. If I was molested by the flying monkeys at the Wizard of Oz, the fucking wicked, and you're just reach of anybody can stop them. You're just out of reach. Sign you guys signed the waiver to get into the show. Sorry, like this
the script. It clearly states that one of one random member of the of the audience will be viciously molested by flying monkeys. It's part of the show. It's meant to sell how dangerous the flying monkeys are. Sorry, it's art. If you can't handle that, maybe stay home. Maybe theater isn't for you. Maybe you should just go home. And I don't know, do taxes or play mind sweeper or whatever it is you fucking nerds do for
fun. We're here busy enjoying the miracle of theater. And if you can't handle it, fuck you as they're still molesting you, as they're still fucking you. Yeah, as the flying monkeys are still fucking you. You're a sad guy from Michigan telling the boys it isn't going to be gagging on goggins
because we appreciate the performance. But I'm secretly crossing my fingers for the Peppini Brothers present Master present Master Rosie Flow called I think the turtle hem because they only gets bigger and shoot com Ama is Don Concerson, heyst and pause? No literally, uh that this is literally what the name is. See uh installing a faulty neural linko Chris's head that plays thunder on repeat. You gotta
pay the troll soild again. The boy's whole GAYE six is afraid of gaye seven because seven gay nine h gay version of gay be like gay more like gang on dix. Am I right? Uh? You probably can save that at the end if if you, if you turn it to am I gay and committed to it? But I appreciate it. Nevertheless, you stand at the edge of a precipice not a prefacis what are you talking about? What
are you talking? Was this? You stand at the edge of a precipice not a press prefaces, Chris, I know what a precipice is, bars and I've never used I've never used preface. A preface is not a press precipice are saying precipice not What do you mean? You think he's saying, I'm reading it? Oh I think no, No, No, he's saying he means it under saying. I think he's wrote something down. But you mean to say something different? Maybe, Yeah, I don't I don't know.
I never have never said the word prefaces. That's insane. Uh using a turkey baser because I hate gay sex. Ah help fuck, I'm uh the dumbest lesbian. They're coming lots and lots of dick and balls. I'll carpet bomb the Gaza strip. I'll carpet bomb the Godza strip for a quarter. I can't do that voice right now, too early. Order John Strickland. Order, he sacrifices all those little brown people. It's fucking crazy. I don't know that this seems a little unnecessary. Oh my god, it's
the only land today. I can't even fucking fathom what that would be. Chronic herpes by come forty. What goes up must come down. Yet my Dick's hard on the ground. See my boys getting stuffed and drown Yeah. Merks eighteen eighty nine. She worshiped my balls. Call her sacrilegious. Uh, that sounds like an that's an eminem line to me. The first Church
Key David presents a massive orgy, but only the dude showed up. The second Church of Key David featuring being better than the First Church of Key David. Oh by by all accounts, probably if the first church is anything like they're just describing, that is very true. Pre Ras Blake eight nine six.
I damn near choked to death hearing Sweeney say he thought the Klansman Power Rangers characters in episode two hundred and twenty two, that's what's written Chris trying to read to fix Yeah, it's but we get it, we get it. Yeah. I feel like he wrote that sentence before and it made sense, So I feel like he's like trying to make it worse. I think Jeffrey Epstein was killed by the code name Kids next Door, Alaskan oilfield trash, Texas Stater Salad last name Bleach, first name, drink like a failed
abortion. I should have drowned the sink. Su Hulk takele My mass here as Nicky Ziggy, Humana Humana Awuga Wicket nine oh nine, Sorry, Miss Jackson, badly brave Hugger, Derek duck Hunt, the vegan necromancer. I got consent, Etheriorian Virginian punchrim mil Us one finally rehabilitated and back in the saddle with two functioning hands and as always, the grounding out our list of wonderful patriots. He is the King of hap Past. Thank you all for
your support. This first of all, The Merchant will go live on Patreon in the very very very beginning of May. We're just finalizing some prices, and then it will go live for everybody in mid May. This is going
to be a bit. I'm probably gonna resize this because I think it's in the wrong place, but this will be available for whatever reason you want fucking Brile on a shirt you shouldn't, but it'll be there until the seventeenth or the eighteenth, or whatever day it is that it goes live for everybody. So pop on over the Patreon to check that out. Much appreciated. So guys, don't be afraid to give us some ideas because we know we know you guys will you guys want the Mercher's for you guys, so give us
ideas. Don't free to show us ideas in the comments waight down, like hey, we'd like this kind of thing. Because I know this, I'll be like shot uncle bench that you guys want or like that. To piggyback on that there. I'm going to pin on our on our I wish I knew the ad start tank team, I think on Twitter, I'm assuming yes, I'm gonna pin because I asked a while ago. I'm gonna pin that
tweet. So you can add to that in the replies because we have a little bit of a well from there to to look at what some of you people were saying. If you want to contribute to some of those ideas, it'll be it'll be pinned. I'll do that before I forget. It's a collaborative effort. So uh yeah. Anyway, thank you guys for popping in. We'll we'll see you next time. Get the fuck out of here, nigga. When y'all niggas. Stop acting like bitches. Bitches, stop acting
niggas. We can all clock figures for bitch, just stop back to mac niggas they can stop acting like bages. We can all get riches when you stop acting like yours. That's a while to wus