Ep 164 "Talent Envy, Where's the Beef, & Running from Consequences"

What are you

Alright. Alright. Alright.

What are you doing?

And we live on them. What up, ladies and gentlemen? It's been two weeks What's up? As we usually do. Shouldn't be usually doing, but I was out of town up in New York last Friday, so we were unable to provide you with the show. But here we are, an hour late. But last time we were an hour late, we had an amazing ass show.

We did. We definitely did.

We're gonna try to do that again this week. With that being said, man, how was your week, bro?

Oh, man. This was a long week, bro. I don't know don't know what what what it was about this week, but it it felt like Friday took forever to get here. But I'm glad I'm glad it's here. What about you?

Probably about the same. I don't know. It's like weird. The first five day work week I've had in a minute. Yeah. I think Yeah. Yeah. Took leave yesterday or yesterday, last week. So it was only three weeks. So working the full five days, I was like, ugh, I'm not built for this shit no more, man. I gotta get I gotta get back into the the what up, Jen? I gotta get back into the the five day work week mode? I don't like that. Mm-mm.

Yeah. Yeah.

But alas, we made it though.

We made it.

We made it. Is still Crazy, it's God. Traffic is still crazy on on 95. Between Richmond and DC, or yeah, between Richmond and DC, that two 90 five to that I-ninety 5 North, bro, it's just the worst, man. I don't know what they need to do, they need to fix that shit, man.

drive you there myself.

Put your shit in the car, let's go. Because that ain't even including the hotel and the food y'all finna Goddamn. Y'all going up there for how long? For $200, y'all might as well stay up there in a week? Yeah, I bet. They be tempting me. Every time I try to go north, I'm like, I'm never driving on 95 again. If I have to go further north than Fredericksburg, I'm flying. I don't care. Airlines was like, say less.

It'll get some attend it'll some attention.

Alright. Alright.

It's it's got some legs on it. Let's see.

It's got some legs. It could run a little bit. We'll see.

Yeah. A little bit.

Yeah. A little bit. You ready to get the show started, my boy?

Let's get it going, man.

Alright. Ladies and gentlemen, episode one sixty four of the smoke pit live starts right now. The following is a presentation of the dad villain podcast network, reminding you to always question the answers.

Welcome to the smoke pit. It's Friday night, come and take a load off. Come sit in the smoke pit. It's time for us to show off. It's been a long week. Come relaxing, get some lapsing, and let's talk about these brackets. And while we at it, tell me whose man's is this? Because I got questions. I'm hoping you can answer it. Get ready because you know we gonna talk a lot of shit. It's Mac and Mac. Welcome to the smoke pit.

Y'all know what it is. Friday night mood is right. Dynamic duo of Black and Mac back on your screens for another episode of the amazing number one streaming show on Fridays between 8PM and 11PM Eastern Standard Time on Facebook, possibly YouTube. We gotta check the data on that. But like we said, great show lined up for you. I got my shot here ready to go. I know you you still on the lint drinking your water and everything. Yep. Let's give them a toast, my guy.

Let's give them a toast. And I I came up with this one this week. Okay. I've been I've been on some I've been reading, man. By the way, get into reading, guys. I've been cracking these books open. It's it's it's been good. So I'm gonna give you a quote this week that I got from a book that I'm reading. Alright.

It says,

fear does not stop death. Fear stops life. And I say that because there seems to be a lot of that in the air. But keep living. Be who you are. Walk in your skin and be comfortable. Be feel loved in your own skin. Be who you are. Live your life. This is the time for living. So don't let the fear get to you. With that, I give you a salute.

Let me turn the glass around. Salute, my guy.

Salute.

I keep forgetting I've been charging my old shots down here. My old I'm be pouring these. Goddamn. These heavy ass shots.

But I'm telling you now. That first pit when I get back The pro.

Oh, would you? After Ethan.

Take that one extremely slow.

Is that gonna be a vault episode?

Oh, I'm I'm like, man, please just get to the finish line without it being vaulted.

That's that's the goal. Even without it being vaulted. But yeah. So I would say this house meeting is kind of derived from a epiphany I had this morning. I was in my office and I was just listening to some some r and b and, Chris Brown songs came on by like three in a row and I'm just like, oh, haven't seen this video.

Yeah. And I'm like, bro,

I could just do that, I would never stop doing it. Yes. You know? I just just never. They'd be like, yo, where's sergeant McCoy? Where's he's coming down the hall pop blocking though. And they'd be like, damn it, sergeant McCoy. And they would see me coming down the hall like, shit clean though. He getting that hold.

Yeah. You know what mean?

He late, but look what he doing. Come come look what he doing though. Alright. We'll we'll let him ride in the middle of the meet and just start. Come on. Come on, baby. Why you front? Baby hey. He clean though.

I mean, I hey.

Hey. He's that dude. So that that brought me to ask the question, and then management who saw my post was like, oh, I'm a make that a smoky question. They was like let me scroll down. So I I don't get what they posted in here wrong. But it was on the line. If you could duplicate the talent of any real life individual, what would it be and who would you get it from? So that is what we are going to base this house meeting on.

Let's do it.

I think we need to have a house meeting y'all. So needless to say, you know I already chose the president of of light skinned America. And you think about it because I we were at a a lunch going away and I was talking about I was like, bro, Chris Brown has to be the president of light skinned activities. I was like, can you think of another light skinned celebrity that you that that represents and like pretty much embraces everything light skinned is? That's good questions too.

Yeah. Yeah.

But Chris Brown would have to Chris Brown would have to be president.

I'm gonna go with Chris on this one.

Chris Brown? Yeah. Okay. Would you say there's a dark skinned president?

There's too many candidates. That field was crowded.

I was gonna follow that up, but there's some white people around the table. I wanna make them uncomfortable. Because they were kinda un uneased when I was doing the light skinned thing. I guess they couldn't follow along because I was saying, when you think about everything that light skinned in this entails, you know, in the other black people at the table were just like, yeah. Can see what you're saying.

guys mean.

So now that we got that out the way, what about darkies? You know, they would have been like, what the fuck? What? Check,

please. Stop the conversation.

Check, please. I'm out of here. But celebrity wise or or like the question was posed to you. Who did who did you pick and what talent did you did you roll with?

So I I picked Michael Jackson.

Mhmm.

And initially, I was like, I want the whole package.

Everything. I

want all of it.

Everything, Michael. Everything? Everything. Everything. Want everything. Okay.

Bro, if I could be Mike for you gotta look at the power this man had, bro.

Hey. Trust me. You know, I'm team Mike. We've had this debate.

Power this man wielded. I just wanna be able to stand out on stage, do absolutely fucking nothing, bro. And people, they have to have the ambulance. I wanna know what that feels like. I wanna know I wanna know exactly what that feels like. Just to be there and be like, somebody's about to pass the fuck out right now. I know it. Yep. Take these shades off. That's five right there. 12345. Yep. Come get them.

Body shuts down from the anticipation. Yes. Because what was he in? Germany? Where he just showed up on the stage and was just standing there above like, no not moving. Not moving. They just like, I don't know what song he gonna sing next. Just fucking shut the bodies shut down. Like, we can't handle the weight. Immediate overheat. I wanna I wanna know

what that power feels like, bro. I wanna know.

Immediate overheat. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna just passing the fuck out. Passing the fuck out.

Yes.

But yeah. I can see that. Eighties Michael?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Pete Michael just like yeah. I wanna know what that shit I wanna know what that shit felt like.

Yeah. That's something.

You you know that power is just, like, immense. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. He was running it at that time. Yeah. So I met so and then I followed that up because it was more like I just wanted the dancing ability from Chris Brown, not the the singing and all. So I was like, of the two or of his talents, which one did you want? Then you're like, well, I guess I'll go with the dancing because his the vocals weren't all that. Then it made me think. Does Mike have vocals?

Mike actually does have vocals.

Oh, I I know, but, like, on his songs he gives you, like, the pop Michael. Like, if you wanted to sing, like, a legit nineties R and B shit, he could. Yeah. But he just chose the and I mean, it worked. My workers was fucking with So I don't blame him. Like, why switch shit up? Yeah. Like T Pain, like T Pain can legit sing sing, but he's just like Right. I know y'all are here for the auto tune, so let me just give y'all what y'all want. Why stop fucking with y'all?

I'm surprised you didn't say Tiger.

Oh, you've seen Tiger swing golf clubs lately?

Not lately.

Yeah. He's probably going with somebody who's playing right Yeah. I think Tiger was a beast. My man Tiger, he's in he's down bad right now. Messed his Achilles up. He gotta get surgery on that stuff. I'm like, bro, he may never he he just gotta go to that senior league, bro. He out here trying to chase that record in the PGA. I'm like, you got these young cats doing stuff. Like, bro, you can't no more. You know?

Yeah. You gotta go to Ryder Hogan, bro. Like, just

You gotta go into the the the senior class of PGA over there, bro, playing with them seventy year olds. But you'll be the hot young rookie on the, you know, I'm saying?

For real. He'll be dominating.

Yeah. Get back in there and crush it. Tiger, you 50 now. You can't be hanging with these cats no more. Yeah. We got a Cedric Winchester. He said Bruce Lee.

That's interesting.

Yep. Shout out Rob Gibbons. He said Stephen Hawking. And I'm just like, bro, when you talk about the intelligence or the

That's totally a robbery answer too.

Yeah. I was like, the the lack of mobility. He was like, the intelligence, the IQ. I had to double check. I didn't know if he just wanted to hover around or something. Know? Like, just, oh, this is fun. Shout out to Dave Otto. He said he's gonna have to go with the unparalleled smoothness of Kelvin Cately. I was like, oh, shit.

That's flattering. Little superpower.

Gary Collins says John Bones Jones. I've squared up with and seen a lot since 1995. Dude is by far the best all around talent I've seen.

I gotta agree with that. Plus ain't nobody just gonna walk up to him and and wanna fight. You know what I mean?

Nah.

I gotta agree with that's a good one. That's a good one.

Man, bro. What he could've been if he just If he didn't fuck himself

up. Level headed.

But, yeah. You know how everybody was all talking to Silver and like, oh man, Silver said Bones laps Silver. Like Bro. Easily. Ridiculously. But he just he liked to party, I guess. You know? We'll just say that.

Bro beat the shit out of somebody on cocaine, bro. Like

Yeah. And then they took the belt from him like the cocaine was a performance enhancing drug.

He had an interview. Was like, I used to, like, get fucked up. Like, I used to party the night before the fight.

It a

I lost. I had an excuse. Like

Was it a what's the motherfucker be doing this stuff on ESPN now? Fat dude. He got fat now. Like, they had a rivalry towards the end of that dude's career.

Oh, you're talking about Cormier?

Yeah. No. The black dude?

Yeah.

Light skinned black dude? Cormier?

Yeah. They ain't Cormier.

Yeah. Beat his ass and then it was just like, Oh. Yeah. He's on cocaine. He was on cocaine, so he loses the belt. Like, is cocaine performance enhancing? I know I know people who be wild on that shit and they like walk around with a knife in their back and just be still. But I'm just like, come on man. Like, the punches were still hurting Chromie, bro. It has to.

Yeah. Yeah.

Our very own Jen Johnson says, Leonardo da Vinci, artist, engineer, painter, inventor. The creativity of da Vinci.

I love it.

Matt Williams was saying he wanted the talent of Jeff Bezos to just get money. That sure ain't. I mean, we got we got a few of those. People are like Warren Buffett, know, people that invest their money and and and make the wealth and stuff like that. So, I mean, big picture, I probably could have sat and thought about something that would have been amazing like that, but I was just being hella like this. I wanna move like that.

Yeah.

I mean, just and then other people's like, nah. You ain't the only one. I'd be there. I'm like, you know how how much more chill the world would be if everybody could dance like Chris Brown?

Yeah. Exactly.

Like, you have a beef, you just dance battle real quick. Like like Dance it out. Follows me solve real quick. I think we should do this. Well, I think we should spend the money on this. Dance

battle. Dance it out. Dance it out.

Settle settle that budget debate. You know? We out here picking the president who danced better. You know?

Exactly. There's just two ways. Go live.

Yo. Go live on TikTok and

see who dances better.

%. Because you be probably gonna get more what's the old girl from old girl from Australia?

Oh. Oh, what's her name? Ray Gunn.

Yes. Well, I was about to say rocket ship. I knew it was something with a r. I knew it was something with a r Ray gun.

The rocket raccoon.

Oh, Jin's like, honestly, I just wanna be Buffy now. But you said real life, so I had to pick somebody in real life. That was the key because, you know,

you say if you can have anything, people be like, I'll be Wolverine. I have long life.

I wanna be with So I'm just okay. That'll be mister fantastic. Yeah. Oh, okay. Just go on Wikipedia, look up all the alpha mutants. Omega omega level three. I wanna be Storm. I wanna be real like, okay. Okay. Okay. So I thought putting the real life thing spin on it was gonna be would be a little bit, I guess, insightful.

A challenge. Insightful. People got some some good answers, man.

They did. They did. I was thinking of, like, you know, doing a like, Dave Chappelle or, like, somebody in comedy, but I just wanted to dance today. Today was a Chris Brown.

Today's a dance day.

Today was a Chris Brown. I was like, man, this motherfucker be killing this shit. I know you want that heat. Anything that's on heat. I was like, oh, shit. You wanna be Yeah. Real quick. On since you had Michael Jackson, that that brought this up too. Would you say I don't know if we talked about this on here. Chris Brown would be this generation's Michael Jackson.

Absolutely. Especially with the shit he's doing now. He's kinda following that that not not career path, but creative path of Mike. Because towards like, once Mike started getting older and and more, he started mellowing out. And that's what you're seeing with Chris Brown. So you see shit like residuals hitting the charts, and he's in his bag now. You know what I mean? That eleven eleven. Absolutely.

Eleven eleven. Yeah. That album.

I think I think he is. And, bro, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna hold you. He's he's got some fire ass concerts, bro.

Bro.

My daughter was like a

Inner Chris.

Fan. Bro. My daughter was a huge Chris, bro. She still is. But, like Right. Whenever he would hit, like, the the tour, we had to go to a concert. And the first time I was like, I wanna go to a fucking Chris Brown concert. Then when we left, I was like, damn. Thank you for inviting me.

Damn. The shit was fucking One of the best nights of my life.

Yeah. And that's fucking put on the show. Shit. Like, I was I was genuinely impressed. Like and that was at the point where, like, he would the Rihanna stuff was behind him.

Yeah.

But he would like, nobody was helping him. So all that shit he was doing himself. That made me realize how talented he actually is because he was making up all his own shows. He did all the choreography. Mhmm. You know what I mean? And, like, to do that, I was really impressed. So to see him where he is now, I'm not surprised because I've seen him I've seen him pretty much at the lowest. Yeah. And work his way to to where he is now. So I'm actually proud of Chris Brown.

When did he start? Like, o five? O

Yeah. O five, o '5, o '6. Something

like like Twenty years in the game. Yeah. Now, where would you rank Usher in this? I know this is like not even they're like, they ain't even talking about talents they want. We off but I'm just because somebody had brought it up too when I was because I was like, I think Chris Brown is is our Michael Jackson.

There's levels. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's levels. Not saying that Usher is a bad dancer. I'm saying if you look at the packages, the packaging is different.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's pop tarts and then there's the other

shit Toastems.

That looks like pop tarts.

You call us your toastems?

Yeah.

I I my comparison would have been like, there's there's strawberry Pop Tarts. Right? You got the frosted, and then you got the unfrosted. Chris Brown's the frosted Pop Tarts. You was just like

Let me get that out

the like, he ain't even he ain't even the unfrosted strawberry. He toasts them. And you can instantly tell the difference in them motherfuckers. Pants was buying them things. I've been into it. I'm like, the crust don't even taste the same.

Crust all soggy and shit.

Because pop tarts, I used to I still do it. Like, I eat the crust and then I leave like the middle with the frosting on the top. I always do that. Toast Ups, like Yes. They they don't evenly spread the frosted, so there's, like, no border for the crust. And I'm just like, how do I eat this? Part off. How do I eat this?

Break this bitch in half. Just fuck. Stop being cheap, mama.

44 years older. I look at toasted. I'm like, how the fuck I'm supposed to eat it? There's no crust barrier. But no. Like, Usher's straight. He cool. He been around for a while, but if I'm putting careers side by side and everybody in this group should know I'm a Chris Brown fan. We did the verses, and I think we both said that Chris Brown would win the verses going up against Usher.

Absolutely.

Not poo pooing on Usher, but he is not what Chris Brown was. Before Chris Brown got into his bag, early Chris Brown, let me see if you run, his first two albums and all. I would even say exclusive with Kiss Kiss and Wall to Wall. I'm just like Yeah. He had a couple ballads on that one too.

Usher came yeah. Usher came out now I unofficially, he's saying '87.

Eighty '7?

That's what he's saying. He came out in '87.

Eighty? Good

shit. I don't remember I don't remember Usher until so Usher was young young, like in

I remember he had a joint on video Soul.

Yeah. Can You Get With It? I remember

that one. Yeah. That was back in the nineties, like '94, I wanna say.

Ninety three, '90 '4.

Ninety '3, '90 I'm like, so around 2013, '20 '14, I wasn't really checking for Usher. Because what was he putting

out? Necessarily say I wasn't.

What was he putting out?

Know he had some shit out though. He wasn't he wasn't he wasn't as big by that point, he wasn't as big as he was.

So, Usher in 2013, Chris Brown around that time. I think Chris Brown had already passed up Usher at that time.

That's fair. That's fair to say.

And was still on the climb, and Usher was kinda plateauing off.

Right. That that's a fair assessment. That's fair.

Because, like, Usher, I I think he still puts out albums, but I'm like, they don't

I think his last album was, like, two years ago.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I don't really I don't I don't care it played anywhere. Like like, it'll be on Spotify, of course, but I'm not playing that. Usher. Offense. Like, if he's featured on a joint, I'm like, okay, Usher. But I'm not listening going like, you know, hey, Spotify. Alexa, play the latest Usher. You know? I'm not doing that. Alexa be like, what? Really? Psych. I play Chris Brown. Chris Breezy. Omarion. Yep. Anyway.

So, yeah. Chris in '20 I remember Chris in 2013. That was that X album.

Mhmm.

That one was a fucking monster too.

Mhmm. Come on now.

That album that album was yeah. That that was one of them more.

Come on now.

I was like, this motherfucker's in this bag. Yes.

That's what I was saying. That 2013, '20 '14, Chris, I was like, hey.

He was in his bag.

Alright, Chris. I'll see you in big

ain't loyal. Was like, shit.

Moolah, baby. Bro, that album was hard. He had Autumn Leaves with Kendrick Lamar on that joint, drunk texting with Janae Aco, man. That's my shit. Bro, come on now. Come on.

He had a song with Brandy on that joint.

Yes, he did. Come on, man.

Yeah.

That I'm just Yeah.

That album that album was crazy good.

And the features. Everything he was touching. I'm just like, come on, buddy. Anyway, that that's enough. But if you would like to swing by, drop your answer in here. Check the description. You know, we got it down there. Link to the podcast fan group over on the Book of Faces. You could join there, join in all our wild discussions and crazy videos that we're about to get into for our next segment, What Did I Just Watch? And there's a couple of them that caught our eye in the Facebook group.

Tell me I did not just see that.

So this first one, you know, like Facebook does this thing now where if the video has something that they deem violent, they like blur it out. And then they're just like, violent content. Do you wanna see it? It's like Absolutely. Duh. Why why ask questions that you know the answer to? You you see my algorithm? Have you seen my algorithm Facebook? Come on now.

Thank you algorithm. Come on now.

You're the one that brought this to me. Hey, we've been tracking what you've been clicking on lately.

Here's something

Here's something, but it's violent. We don't know if you click. I think you already know what it is, Facebook. Yeah. But this one was wildly This this was something that I was expecting Tony Baker to have a voiceover on already. But I present to you, what's this thing? Runaway buffalo bulldozes over a man in a restaurant. And when I say that, you're gonna think like it's probably like some country restaurant, bro. Would you see

This is real.

Bro, this they ran up into like a Chinese restaurant and like trucked this dude. Like, where where are you at? But let me play this video for y'all so y'all can see this. Yes. See the video. Gosh. Let me get this full screen. Hell fucking like well oh, shit. Y'all got karaoke over in this room?

Get up on out of here.

Look at this, man. My man up here, I don't know what he's ordering. He in, like, this Chinese restaurant based on, you know, the Yep. Was this even in The States? I don't know. But my man here checking his phone. My man here placing the order.

Yep. Let me get my card on my wallet.

Pitch black dark out there. And out of nowhere, is that Robin right there? Oh, yeah. There he is. Get his ass. There he is right there. The way he just creep up to the door, bro. Look at his what's once you see him come up here. Oh, I know this motherfucker.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's him. Look at him right here. Well, that's Johnny right there. Yeah. That's the nigga that killed my cousin. Bro. And this cat.

He can't react, bro.

I ain't even I ain't even mad at this dude here. Now this cat, like, he's in the the the most ill ill begotten position to react.

Yes. Yes.

The most ill begotten position.

He's It's either him or me, and I'm letting nature take its course.

My man just happened to look over his shirt. Periph he got a peripheral of what was coming, and and you can't react. And then his ass just gets taken. Boom. Yep. For a ride. I'm a take it for a ride. And this dude, like, he looked like he was about to square up for a bit. Like, he said, oh, shit. Uh-uh.

know. This happens a lot.

Well, it's the third Thursday of the quarter. So what's that mean? Just be on your guard. Yep. Here comes Benny. Pow. And then there's no re like, I get it. Like, I'm not expecting the owner or the cashier to, jump out and do anything. I'll probably just be just like what they're doing. Like, whatever you want.

We get the fuck out

of it. Whatever you want, Buffalo. Whatever you want.

You've done your work. Please leave.

We gave you your we gave you your tribute. The sacrifice has been laid out for you.

We've paid you tithes this month. Is

there anything else you need from us? What else do you require of your servants? What that'd be wild if they were just like, yeah. Just stay right here. We'll get your order. And they knew he was being teed up. They went out in the back and pushed the red button like he's lined up, baby.

Let him out. Let him out. Let him out.

Oh my god. And then he's just the the chill factor of like

well Caught me a body.

Guess I'll How did I get in here? Guess I'll just go see what's happening over here. Right? Yo. That is just like, do you sue the restaurant? Can you?

I have to.

But what if it's not their what if it's freak accident? Now Bro.

That damn door, bro. That door

You see how it just it was made for the bull that fucking just run

through. Shit.

It's like a the little plastic things in front of freezers and stuff at a restaurant. Look at

this door. Man, you might as well have bees hanging, bro. Like, that door that door was not secure at all.

Yeah. I ain't keeping nothing out. No fly. No nothing, bro. That is crazy. But I so so then I post a like, my whole thing when I post it is like, this shit like this, why I stay in the house? Because Willie, what's the odds? Mac, Willie, what's the odds of that happening? I know it's not zero. Based on this

There's a number attached to it. Based on this We know it's one at least.

If it's greater than zero, it's not for your boy. It's possible. If it now I keep my head on a swivel at all times. In the shopette. I don't know what shop got going on up in here. What kind of doors these are? Yeah. Lock that door, bro. What kind of doors y'all got in here? Lock that door. Buffaloes be out of here.

Put a brick behind it or something, bro. That

Yep. But the man suffered injuries to his leg and needed treatment in the hospital. What is how do you this happens to you caught on film on the Internet. How do you move to the next day? Like, what's what's do you as as petty as this sounds, is there get back for this the dinosaur, this buffalo?

No. It's not.

I gotta find who owns this thing. Yeah. And I'm just like, you will sacrifice this cow and give me all the meat from it. And I will I will forever eat every meal I have, I will be eating this.

It's gonna be beef. Yes.

Red meat. Cholesterol high. I don't care.

Yes. I don't care. He tried to eat. Yes.

I need my look back. And I will disgrace all of the steaks, put a one sauce on it and everything. I not cook this meat. I will disgrace him even upon death.

My man pushed up on the right thumbstick like a motherfucker when he

Truck stick. Oh, my boy. My boy. He was like, bro, ain't no Ole. Ain't no ain't no arena.

Wearing red. He just like

That's what I yeah. I went back to look like what the and then if you're this dude like, do you come back to this restaurant? Hell no.

You were spared.

Did you come back?

You go home. Buffalo had it out for him. Him and him only because he didn't get you. Nope. He was just like, man, fuck this motherfucker.

They're going straight to the house. Apple would be like

Somebody had it off for that dude.

Apple would be like, where's where's the food? Baby. Baby. Hey. We can't go there.

We get Seven shit that happened. It motherfucker hopped in the dam.

But like, what what plane crash did you avoid where death is like, I'm a get him by any means. By any means. By any That's

scary bro.

Final Destination shit. You can't avoid death. It's gonna get you.

One way or another.

09:00 at night getting Chinese takeout. Like, I'm pretty sure before the pain set in, his whole mind was like, what the fuck is what the fuck was that? He's upside down getting flipped. The fuck is going ow. Ow. What the hell?

My leg.

Looking at you're looking at the cashier. What kind of business do you run here? Hey. We just as shocked as you are, my boy.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry

this happened to you.

Yeah.

I'm leaving, bro. Like, if I'm that dude in the black

shirt came in there and was like, eat more chicken, motherfucker.

Beef and broccoli. Creme. Creme. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I mean, it's just pow. And then it just calms down.

The way his head snapped on the on the up. Was like

messed around. They got my boy, Benny. First motherfucker first motherfucker I see it's on-site.

Sorry. That'd be you. Yeah. Yeah. You work at the bus stop. I've seen you.

You had his leg in your hand. Oh my god. Bro, crushed him and then just walked off just

Yeah. The way it just looked like, how the fuck how did I get out of here?

This the door I this this the door I came in? Is this enter only? And it's like the staff was just like, the exit's on the other side. Oh, word bet. My bad. I'm glad you know it.

Alright. Alright.

Y'all be

easy. Y'all have a good night. One.

My man over there just put his little water bottle down. Done. Done. Done. I can't, bro. I can't. We're still enjoying that. The my man, l. Oh, oh, this the one? Oh, yeah. This is another good one. So this is the the karate joint, my man out here. Get your dumbass.

You fucking knew better.

He said

yoga. Yoga fire.

Like you're trying to blow it out because of birth. You're to blow it out. All that lighter fluid he just poured on your head. Your head dripping. Seen, niggas. Your shit dripping with with fluid, bro. His face. Right?

Butane, buddy. It spreads.

Turns out your clothes are made in it. Oh my god. Look at the the fear and everything. All you had to do is chop them little fake ass bricks, bro.

Yep.

That's all you had to You know, this is up here when it comes to martial arts mishaps. The Afro Ninja with the nunchucks. Interesting. That one I forget it was like an Indian talent show. My man was trying to break the motherfucking thing.

Oh, yeah. That one too.

When he was doing the splits and he was breaking the shit on his arm. He was like, wow. And just fell back. And he was like, oh, shit. He got up. He was all dizzy. There's like, hey. This shit is done. Cut it.

Yeah. Cut it. Those

this just joined the hierarchy of of martial arts mishaps for me, man. This kid is just they grabbing him like, calm the fuck down. Like

Stop running.

You set the stage on look at the fucking shit dripping off his head, bro. Just he's like, alright. Yeah. Yeah. Give me the light. Just Go ahead. Give me the light. He like, hurry up. Hurry up. Yeah.

Yeah. I got three seconds.

Yep. Yeah.

I just spoke

you and here he is trying to blow it up. Look how big that flame is. You this ain't a birthday candle. It's too late. This ain't a birthday candle. You are x men now. You are x men x men now. Pyro. You're an x men now. This is what's happening. You just found out your mutant powers spontaneous combustion.

Slay boy.

Look at this dude. It's it's getting bigger. Yo.

His face realizes that I can't put this shit out.

It's it's starting to go down his forearm. Yeah. So then he turns around and like flings it, but then it's like the fluid end of fire falls off. So then that's how My shirt. He said yoga flame. KO. That shit look like a little I don't even know what he did. He he tried to pour water on it and it just

It made it worse.

Yeah. Because now the little backstage, the the curtain or the thing is on fire at the back. Is that you? Grabbing an ogre. And my man picked up the smallest fire extinguisher like I hope they did. It's probably a fire extinguisher they didn't even check to see if it was charged. Yep. Nope. Nope. Oh, damn. Godspeed, sir. Oh my god. One more time. Look at this shit. Yeah. Yeah. Hit me that hit me with that shit. Calm your little pyro ass down. You burned the whole place down.

Damn, boy.

All that day, I'm running around hollering. I was on fucking fire. That's how they gonna talk to him after. Why did you do that? Just sit there like, what?

What do you mean? This wasn't even my idea.

You ready? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So my question would be, as a judge on that thing, would you have been like, hey, I'm impressed.

I mean, did chop the brick.

What's that? Was that everything else was like extra Ricky? Right? Entertainment. Yeah. But he passed. I ain't gonna lie. Y'all had me in the first half. Thought y'all was really gonna let this boy die. I was

like, oh shit. Then I was like, oh shit. That's what I'm about to die up here.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, man.

Oh, god. Yeah. That that shit is crazy to me, man. Where we at? Oh, we at fifty minutes. You wanna get into to the whose mans? Let's do it. Alright. This one is another diabolical individual who refuses to take any kind of accountability for the actions that they performed. Oh lord. Oh. This this one is I was howl.

Hey. Competitive edge, bro. Like

You're on camera. You're on camera. Anyway, let us get into this segment, and then we'll introduce who we have up in this week's whose man's is this? Alela? That's what we'll go with. Alela Everett. You're probably like, who the hell is Alela Everett? Who Who are you? I will say this. If you have been on social media, either either one, you would have seen the video of a track meet where a young woman was accosted with a relay baton in the middle of a race.

Well, you know and and I I wanna be fair. I wanna be fair. Competitive juices can flow sometimes. Uh-huh. And Uh-huh.

You know,

when tempers flare, for whatever reason, we don't know Uh-huh. She's saying it's a mistake, but we'll let you guys look and judge for yourselves. And I wanna keep in mind that in the spirit of competition, anything is liable to happen. I'll leave it at that.

Yep. The heat of competition, if you

will. Yes.

Brings out sides of you that you never I didn't I was this wild out here. But I'm a play this and I have to play it in reverse order.

Yes.

As you saw, like she's coming around the corner. She gets passed by Kayleen and as Kayleen is passing her, you clearly see her strike her in the back of the head with the baton. Kayleen then just flies off to the inside of the track holding the back of her head and Alela continues to run the race. So people are just like, yo, you hit her. You're a dirty player, track person, whatever.

Hell no.

Your arm was back like this. So if it's already back, you're just gonna pump it like this. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like if you're doing this, right, and it's on the back and it rolls up, the next motion is gonna be this arm come forward and this arm go down.

you weren't buying I'm supposed to win this race.

Y'all embarrassing me in front of my family.

Hell no. My uncles and aunties came over here to watch me run.

This is in Virginia too.

Here you come, trying to spoil my parade.

Yeah. Embarrassing me coming from behind? Yeah. Hawking me down like you DJ Metcalf and I'm Buddha Baker trying to run this interception back. You know? On my watch. Today so

I can run faster. Fuck you.

You said I ain't eat today. I ain't even eat today. I'm lean out here.

Yeah. Everybody else eating McDonald's fries and shit? Not me. I'm starving. I saw you drinking Gatorade before this year. Uh-uh. Nuh-uh.

But, yeah, that's that was her story. And shout out to whatever town she's from. Let me see if I could bring it up again. But she had a, I guess, a pep rally or some short where she showed up and they were just like, you know, thanks for everybody for supporting me because everybody who don't know me thinking I did this and and they clapping for her and stuff. So she has supporters, you know? I'm just not one of them.

Yeah. This is bullshit.

People have done worse. I've seen people like illegal, ridiculous hits in high school football.

I've seen people trip people.

Oh, track? Yeah. %.

Oh, hell yeah.

That's the first time I've seen somebody low key use the baton as a weapon though. You know what I'm saying? I've never seen Oh yeah. But at the same time, know, she wasn't severely injured, know, maimed, disabled or anything crazy like that. Just take that L and be like, you know, competition got the best of me. I was mad. I was on a off day. People were passing me by. I reacted. I take responsibility for my actions. You know, stuff along those lines.

Yeah. Yeah. It'll go away.

Because you're a kid. People people forgive you because you're a kid. Yep. You know? But what you're doing now with all this, you know, I would never do that. This is not who I am. This is it's like, well, alright. You wanna keep going down this

Baby, we've seen this movie before. Okay? It's called Nancy Kerrigan. Nancy Kerrigan fucked her ass up.

No. Tonya Hardin fucked up.

I mean, yeah. Tonya Tonya Hardin fucked her ass up and and and was like, I didn't do it. We know she did.

There was some strange man that did it. You didn't hire him? I don't know. I don't know what happened.

Know nothing about that.

Is she hurt? Do I take her place on the team or Tanya? Why are you asking Tanya, why are you asking that question already? We didn't even tell you what happened. What are you guys here for? Am I on the team? What are you What are you talking about? What are talking about, Tanya?

What do you what do you mean?

Nothing happened to Nancy yet? I mean, not what? Oh, yeah. As a matter of fact. Oh, yeah. You did. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You did it. That was a poorly done thing, but this this one, I'm just this is a whole lot of just take, you know, take ownership for the shit you did. You know? That's all you gotta do around these parts. Just be like, hey, you know what? That was wild. My bad. It won't happen again. Sorry. Uh-oh. Yeah.

Uh-oh. Is it playing? Oh.

Ladies and gentlemen. You know what happens when you go to the split screen.

Hey, Mortimer. We're back.

So like I was saying, sit back and listen as Kayleen explains to you what happened to her.

Kinda got cut off when I tried to pass her the first time. So I let her go ahead, so I knew, like, when I got fully on the curve that I was just gonna have to push through and pass her.

Then out of turn four a strike with the metal baton to Tucker's head sends her reeling. Officials immediately disqualified the team from icy Norcombe, but the damage was done.

I still can't believe it. I'm still in shock. Like, everyone's texting me, checking up on me, and I appreciate that. But, like, I'm still trying to take it all in. I can't believe it happened.

Tucker's now dealing with the effects of a concussion and a possible skull fracture. Now all the Tucker's want is an apology and an explanation.

Why would you why did you do it, and why haven't you apologized yet? In the back curve, I

Why'd you make that face? That's a yeah.

Skull fracture. Come on. Come on, dog.

So you're like, if all you wanted was a apology and an explanation, why let people know like this is the kind of damage I got? That sounds like you finna sue somebody. Because like, I'd be damned if my kid gets concussed in a skull fracture and everybody looking at me to pay for it. You know what I'm saying? Like, my insurance will pay for it, but then they'll my insurance will turn around and be like, so we could put this much on it, but you're gonna have to pay the rest.

I want them coins motherfucker. You better

Person by myself, nobody's gonna believe me because I can admit from the video it does look purposeful, but I know my intentions and I would never hit somebody on purpose. Just a person by myself. No So

I'm a let it run back, and I want you to, like, listen closely, and you'll see, like, why I'm already pissed off about this.

Myself, nobody's gonna believe me because I can admit from the video, it does look purposeful, but I know my intentions, and I would never hit somebody on purpose. Just a person by myself, nobody's gonna believe me because I can

You hear it? Yes. The smoke detector.

It's in every black household.

The smoke detector. I'm like, come on.

You're following the stereotype.

You don't care about life. You don't care about your own life. Your smoke detector hollering at you like, hell.

I believe you did it now. I believe you did it on purpose.

Your honor, I rest my case. Your honor, she's guilty. Guilty. You're out here with the smoke detector hollering at you. And you weren't just like, hey, let's run this back. You know, at least just unplug take the battery out the goddamn thing.

Right. Right. You don't care about the smoke detector being current up the day with a battery. I know you don't give a fuck about nobody passing you.

The minute that shit beep in my house, that shit either coming off the

ceiling it irritates my

Coming off the ceiling or a new battery going in immediately.

Irritates my soul.

The the I don't know. Whatever pitch that thing is, penetrates walls.

It's that too annoying.

Because it'd be the shit downstairs. I'm upstairs. Beep. I can sleep through this. Beep. Freak. Going downstairs. Mad as hell. Two thirty in the morning.

Where is it?

That part. Which one of these hoes? You're just like this. Like you're in the fucking the hearing booth.

Do it again. Yeah. Do it. And it's like it stops for a minute.

For like five minutes is quiet as shit. It's

where the fuck are you?

Which one of you motherfuckers is it? So that's her thing. She's she's hurt because nobody believes her. Right? And like I said, you know where I'm at with the you you already know where I'm at. Like, I don't believe you.

I don't believe you. I I I'm almost be like, you said bitch when you did it.

Just based on that. Here's a So this is her. Her front arm is here. This arm is back here. So now it's back here. So you can get a regular arm pump if you're bringing your arm back up. There's no reason for you to come across like this at all. Right.

Right. At all.

So she did what she did. She set her peace, but now her city's like, we got you, know, Layla. We got you. You love you, girl. Here's to pep rally in her hometown.

Thank y'all for supporting me. There's nobody else wanted to hear my story except for people that know me and people that know I would never do anything like that. I would never harm anybody. I'm not a fighter. I'm not even confrontation. I wouldn't even do that on purpose. And I thank y'all for believing in me, and I love y'all. I

got a question off rip. What is this part?

The lace front?

Bro, that shit is not laid like that. That that that can't be the lace front of this wig. That cannot that cannot be look at this thing. Is that the lace front? That is the That's not it can't be that much baby hair And then, like, the real thick hair starts behind the headband. You know what I'm saying? Look.

They lay it like that.

So this is all baby hair up here? Yeah. So it's not lace front?

No. Bro, I don't know.

Don't know. Fam? Fam? What is this, bro?

I'll say

Hold on. Let me I don't think y'all I don't think y'all y'all fucking with a straight. What is this? What is this, though? Is that the

lace front? Man.

Is that the lace front? Oh my god, bro. I don't know. That's that's very distracting to me too. There's two things you've done, Layla, that have me very skeptical of your story. Because I see the sideburn here and I'm like, okay. You know, so all of this is all the baby hair I'm seeing.

Yeah. She had to lay it like that.

It's not a smart move.

It's not. It's terrible.

Okay. But, again, here she is. She has, you know, what I would assume probably her mom behind her, has her head on her shoulder just rocking side to side comforting her baby as she talking about what the hell just went on. But I go through this the comments here and I don't see anybody taking her side. Nope. Court of public opinion.

She'd been crying for forty days and forty nights like, girl, okay.

Court of public opinion, man. I mean, it's a you know? It's it's you're

Just tell the truth.

That's what I'm saying. To be honest.

I was losing. She won. She she was getting the best of me. I don't like it.

Especially if they're like, all we want you to do is apologize and give us an explanation. Yeah.

Like, girl, I'm concussed over here. Just tell me you're sorry. We'll be alright.

Accuse she old camera bopping her. If she stopped talking about it publicly and feeding into all of it, her journey through this wouldn't feel so heavy. It's possible to turn into a positive, actually. I'm sure in her world it feels heavy, but someone from a PR firm who has a heart, please reach out to this child's family and offer. Why does it take a PR firm just be like

Just go out there and

say sorry. That's what I'm saying. And and just keep it fucking pushing after that.

Yeah. Just say you're sorry and it'll go away.

What is it? I'm confused. Why is she acting like she the one that got hit?

Right. Right.

She on a crying tour but can't apologize to the lady she smacked on the head with a metal baton. Girl, you done for. Goddamn, bro. Y'all be

Y'all gotta keep her mind she a

child too, bro. Girl die. Yikes. Uh-uh. I'm just like I mean, she might if she don't change her battery in that damn smoke detector, but that's a whole different thing. Oh, my

god, bro. That that shit irritate. Bro, real quick because I'm a go off subject real quick.

What?

So my daughter, Tiana, has a friend Uh-huh. That she FaceTimes. And I'm like, go on your room. Just go go the fuck away from me.

Uh-oh. She

her she has that. Like, her battery they've known each other for years.

Stop.

Never changed the fucking battery. I'm like,

just please And you hear

it her on the regular phone and go somewhere. You hear

it over the face side?

Through the phone.

So you and your house like

Yes. And I'm like, yeah. I'm like I'm like, Stop. Just I'm a where is she? Where is she at? I'm a mail her some fucking batteries. Give them to her.

Nine volts. And I'm a teach you FaceTime me so I can show you how to put the things in there too. Please. I don't know what to do with this. Call me.

Now I know who you're talking to because I can hear the fucking smoke detector going on. And

I'm telling you, that's that's a sound that well, I would think would cause an instant reaction. Yes. Because of how annoying it is. Yes. It should. Instant. Like I said, I don't care what time of night it is.

That sound is made for you to be

There have been times where I had risked my family's life by taking all of the smoke detectors, Disconnecting them. Like, I wake up in the morning, cords hanging. Apple's like, what did you I thought you changed the nope. Mm-mm. I'm a just change all three of these batteries today because I ain't playing this. Which one? Because I'll climb up Yeah. Change one and put it back in there. Bleek. Bitch.

Because you know if one coming, the other one's right behind Yes. It's it's in tandem, bro.

Like another week. Like all y'all getting this shit. It's like when one tire get messed up, you're like, I might as well just get all four new tires because what ain't gonna happen is this be a new tire and these holes start wearing the fuck out. And the car just start drifting and pulling off in one direction. So, yep.

Oh my god. You know,

the news was just like, figures it'd be the smoke detector in her house. You know? You know, just like they were just like, you know, yep. That's in Mobile, Alabama, they got a leprechaun. Let's go ahead and send a team in there and see what the see what the neighborhood is like. And then they're just probably having the time of their lives.

Yep. Y'all

think it's a leprechaun saying, yeah. Yeah.

See? See? Yeah. I'm you.

This a fluke that was handed down generations to generations to ward off evil spirits. And I'm like, at some point, the news has the news has to know that people are fucking with them at this point. They just like, how do I get on TV?

That and the fucking drawing. Like Oh, this amateur

sketch. When they handed this to you, were y'all like, oh man, they really believe this? Or were y'all like, alright, now y'all fucking with us? Somebody called the news channel. There's a leprechaun in our tree. Let's pull up. And they're just like, oh shit, they really believe us. Let's keep this going. I think it's a crackhead that got a hold of the wrong stuff and now they up in a tree and can't get down.

I want to go.

I'm a come around with the backhoe and pull this shit. I want where the gold at? I want the gold. So this is way off topic now. You got two classic good news segments. The whistle pipes and the Alabama leprechaun. Yes. Which is the best?

Oh, man. The leprechaun by far, bro. Like, this shit is this shit is still the test of time.

I would probably go with the Test of time. Bro, it's close. I'd say the whistle. The fucking because what is it? Big big rub? Big rub and a she talking about we waking up. It's Nais in the morning. You supposed to be cooking.

Woo woo. You supposed to

be out cooking breakfast or something. Whoop. And then they was just like and then they gave us a demonstration, and she peeled out of that motherfucking car, ran that stop sign up like, yo. Y'all wild out here. Oakland is wild out here, bro. What?

The whistle tips go woo woo.

The fucking news dude like, why about here?

Who gave me this?

I was supposed to be Dan Rather. Look where I'm at. Don Lemon, I was supposed to be you and they got me out here covering the

out here doing this.

She up here complaining. Like, it's 09:00. You supposed to be out cooking breakfast or something. Woo woo. Oh my god. Yeah. That and the leprechaun shit forever hit the test of time. The test

of time.

The test of time. Hood classics, if you will.

Yes. Yes.

Anyway, back to you, Layla. Girl, just stop. Nobody's believing you except your your hometown. And I'm pretty sure that's not your whole hometown that's there. I'm pretty sure there's people in your town like, girl, just

That's your family and day friends.

Yeah. Girl, just say it. Girl, just get off camera and just go to school. You know? Like, shit. Or is your school against you? Bitch, now you got everybody hating our school? I say that respectfully. Yes. But, you know, I'm pretty sure you're going through some stuff. Just stop getting in front of a camera because nobody's gonna believe you. You're not you're not winning anybody over with this act. Just apologize and move forward. Please. You're young enough, people forget it.

If you if you'd have just if you'd have if you'd have played this a different way

Mhmm.

Like, you probably would have been a legend, honestly.

You would have been an answer on a game show or something.

Yep.

I mean, you probably still gonna be, but

In a different way.

She's like, till my dying breath. Please believe me. I didn't do it. Nah. Fuck that. What's that? I didn't do this. Purpose. I need to see how I know me. I need to see your natural run motion because that that's hella uncoordinated. You know? I know me. I know I know my intentions. I'm not a fighter. I wouldn't do this. Not. Anyway, Layla, get your stuff together. Hopefully everything works out. Own up to your mistake. Take credibility or not credibility, accountability.

Fractured skull. Possibly fractured skull.

Yeah. Just apologize to these people before they come after you with legal action, girl. Because I don't know if your family got that money based on that smoke detector going off in the background. I'm assuming not, but You can't

get a damn nine volt shit.

Yeah. Alright. Alright. Get your stuff together. I will say this, ma'am. I don't think your chances are high for being in contention for the award this year.

Nah.

I I think Steve still got it.

Steve Steve is he's holding strong.

Steve got it. Thought I thought Whitlock might be it, but I mean, he was just talking about how much Yeah. Yeah. How do I have to say

Steve might actually did her too. Yeah. Like Steve

a a Whitlock was like, I had to stay away from her because I know myself.

I know me. Steve Smith's like, I

know me too. I'm about to get in there.

Get in there. Yeah. Yeah. Get in there.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they must be listening to wobble in there. Yeah. They wobbling in there. Right? For real. Alright. I think it's time to get back to our regularly scheduled programming and a wrap to show up.

Let's do it.

And now we return you to our regular scheduled program in progress. Yes, sir. Hey. Good episode. I will say this because those that are watching live. Sorry for the little mishap getting the videos to play and everything, but if you're watching this on Monday, this never happened. You don't know what we're talking about. But what you got for the folks, man?

So while we were recording some breaking news, I do wanna make sure that Uh-oh. We we pay homage here today. So it just came out that boxing legend George Foreman passed away at the age of 76. Make sure we send our condolences to his family. Thank you, brother, for shining a light and and showing us your talents while you were here on Earth.

Yep. New show coming out Thursday. Expect the the link to the YouTube channel to be sent out as well.

Love

it. Video episodes are up. We're chopping them up into shorter segments and doing our thing that way. So expect that to start blowing up. We're over on TikTok as well. A lot of good anime coming out this summer, especially July. July's gonna have about five sixties, these big heavy hitters that are coming out. So a lot of stuff talking about ramping up to that. And so, yeah, expect that. So we'll try to get those numbers up as well.

Bro, that show is amazing.

It is. So, yeah, just expect some things like that along the way. Eat the cake is reaching out to other anime podcasts as well. We got a couple collabs that are working. So, yeah, a lot of good stuff on the way, man. The DFPN is doing its thing, bro.

Yeah, man. It's it's it's good stuff, man. Love to see it. Love to see the activity. Love the plans that that I know that are coming from the network. It's it's been we said 2025 was gonna be a big year, and we're we're so far, we're delivering on So

But if we're done bragging about ourselves, we can go ahead and let the people go. Hey. It's fun when you could do that. You know what I'm saying? Yep. It's fun when you could do that. We could go ahead and wrap up this episode. Let's do it, man. Hey. So you know what it is.

And I am bread like a king. Made us Calvin Kaylee. Thank you guys for tuning in. Until next time. Have love. Make sex. Peace. Peace.

This ain't right.