Are you trying to find the firmness in your voice? Or are you worried you might be a bit too blunt? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through the ways we can all be a little stricter without flying off the rails - and why there's nothing scarier to a man, than a woman who is pissed off and relaxed about it... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or lea...
Oct 04, 2024•56 min•Season 2Ep. 38
Do you feel bad about dating selfishly? Does the idea of 'using' a man make you feel guilty? Is it exploitative to date men with your best interest at the forefront? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses her favourite ways to exploit men in a world where they systemically and interpersonally exploit women every single day... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on...
Sep 27, 2024•41 min•Season 2Ep. 37
Have you convinced yourself you're stuck with that man? Is he really the best you can do? Why do you even keep giving him chances? In this brief and funny episode, join The Slumflower as she talks through the lies we tell ourselves to cling onto these men who have passed their expiry date in our lives... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, a...
Sep 19, 2024•37 min•Season 2Ep. 36
Is the pressure on to start a family? Feeling broody? Or maybe even experiencing that FOMO feeling as everyone around you is starting to have babies? You are not alone! In this episode, join Chidera as she talks about why you don't need to have kids just because you want to...and the ways we can all show up in a maternal role without having to commit to parenthood *cough cough* shout out to the aunties! NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my p...
Sep 13, 2024•35 min•Season 2Ep. 35
Are you a first born daughter who has been plagued by the perpetual sense of responsibility...even over the men you date? Has your first born daughter status evolved into a saviour complex? Do you feel like you need to be useful in order to be loved? Dear first born daughters, this one is for us! In this episode, join Chidera as she muses and reflects on her life and upbringing as a first born daughter - and how this has actually empowered her to be stern, bold and fearless in her self-advocacy ...
Sep 06, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Season 2Ep. 34
Have you been victimised by a Nigerian man? Are you too nice to the Nigerian men you date? (YES) Is there a lack of cultural awareness that impinges upon your ability to understand Nigerian men? However you resonate (or don't) with these questions, you'll enjoy this episode full of insight, banter and cultural context from a Nigerian woman, herself! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how best to date Nigerian men to enjoy the best of them and avoid the worst of them... Join my...
Aug 30, 2024•1 hr 17 min•Season 2Ep. 33
Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave? Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back? Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect? If any of the above resonate, this episode is for you! In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the irritation of being that woman who si...
Aug 23, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Season 2Ep. 32
Do you find your neurodivergence interfering with your dating life? Have you found your rejection sensitivity makes you more prone to rumination? Has your constant masking made you more used to tolerating discomfort around men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how her neurodivergence influences the way she navigates men. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Ge...
Aug 16, 2024•44 min•Season 2Ep. 31
Are pick-me women simply misunderstood? Are things 'easier' with men when you let patriarchy run its course? What can women do to avoid becoming desperate? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through all the reasons why picking men over yourself will always leave you short-changed and resentful - no matter how exceptional you think your situation is... Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW at Leicester Square Theatre, London Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-...
Aug 09, 2024•47 min•Season 2Ep. 30
Did you notice yourself almost falling for the botched dream being sold to you? Was it all stating to feel a little too good to be true? Has he switched up on you because his little game didn't work? Nothing hits better than that 'thank God I didn't fall for him' relief and in this episode, The Slumflower visits the various ways men become sassy and insufferable when their grandiosity backfires! Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65...
Aug 03, 2024•57 min•Season 2Ep. 29
This episode was voted for by the patrons over at Patreon! If we can all agree that men are scary, then we can al agree that dating men should be worth our time, right? Join Chidera, as she chats through safety, self esteem and making men EARN your trust! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit m...
Jul 26, 2024•52 min•Season 2Ep. 28
Do you fantasise about him coming back? Do you tend to develop limerence for men who leave you? Do you allow yourself to feel your anger in full? If any of these questions resonate with you, this episode might hit home. Join The Slumflower as she discusses why you should test men, why you need to stop 'healing' and why it's totally okay that you might not meet 'the one'. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answer...
Jul 19, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 27
Are you an 'understanding girlfriend' who can't quite seem to get the words out when you're annoyed at him? Have you decided what your non-negotiables are in what you'll tolerate from a guy? Are you a 'free spirit' or are you giving your power away to men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she plots out smooth and non-aggressive ways to be more assertive in the presence of men, while maintaining your authentic personality - plus a very saucy South of France storytime...involving a yacht ;)...
Jul 12, 2024•1 hr 46 min•Season 2Ep. 26
So what's the fuss around dating providers? Why are women scared to date selfishly? Why do we slut-shame women who are upfront about their requirements of men who want to sleep with them, whilst we uphold and celebrate the women who settle 'in the name of love'? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the concept of men being providers - and why we shouldn't let 'feminism' stop us from having our own cake and eating it too...just like the men do! Join my patreon for access to more revealin...
Jul 06, 2024•1 hr 41 min•Season 2Ep. 25
Do men deserve their loneliness? Do women make too many excuses for men? Can women develop the willpower to abstain from sexual and emotional reliance on men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the 'male loneliness epidemic' - and why we should all let men deal with this matter by themselves... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE S...
Jun 28, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Season 2Ep. 24
If you finally feel ready to leave, this episode is for you. In this episode, join The Slumflower as shares tools on how to leave FOR GOOD, and what you can do to fortify yourself mentally...for when the storm inevitably comes. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jun 20, 2024•1 hr 46 min•Season 2Ep. 23
Where is the line drawn between leadership and control? Do 'alpha' men actually live up to their description? Why do women seek such traits in men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the myth of the alpha male - and why we should all interrogate our attraction to alpha men... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn mor...
Jun 14, 2024•1 hr 25 min•Season 2Ep. 22
Is a person redeemable once you develop the ick for them? What does it take for a man to give you the ick? How can you tell when a man has gotten the ick for YOU? In this episode, join Chidera as we talk all things ick - including my biggest turn-offs that classify a man disqualified in her eyes! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER...
Jun 07, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Season 2Ep. 21
Is that man in a rush to marry you? Would he even make a good husband? Are you desperate to be wifed? In this hilarious episode, join The Slumflower as she chats through why a marriage proposal isn't always flattering - and what you can do to remove the power and pressure you have placed on the idea of being someone's wife! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCK...
May 30, 2024•1 hr 19 min•Season 2Ep. 20
Do you justify tormenting yourself for the sake of having a 'good story' to tell? Are you impulsive and adrenaline-driven in your dating decisions? Have you found yourself living in the architecture of your own demise? Featuring TWO saucy stories, join Chidera in this episode as she talks through times when she's done it for the plot...and benefited from the wild spontaneity! ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well a...
May 24, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 19
Are you easily swayed by a man's appearance? Do you find yourself being easily governed by the coochie flutters when you come across a cute man? Are you unknowingly giving away your power by putting emphasis on how attractive that man is, instead of how well he treats you? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she takes good-looking men OFF the pedestal! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemm...
May 16, 2024•59 min•Season 2Ep. 18
Has that man become the sad cloud in your sky? Do you find yourself coasting along in this relationship out of guilt rather than choice? Do you feel responsible for this man's wellbeing? Baby...it's time to lift that burden and address the baggage you've taken on as your own! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about you...
May 10, 2024•1 hr 17 min•Season 2Ep. 17
So the switch-up has finally happened...he's stopped texting you the way he used to; he's not really making plans to take you out anymore; you've had your first argument and he's surprisingly chilled and NONCHALANT?! *blocks your hand from hitting the panic button* Time to stay calm and quietly examine everything you have tolerated so far! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get ...
May 03, 2024•30 min•Season 2Ep. 16
This episode was voted for by my patrons on Patreon! After what started out as a simple evening of sharing some anonymous insight from sex workers about the hidden reality of married men, the conversation snowballed into an Instagram stories-based discussion, where women across age groups, marital status, professions and lifestyles, were sending in their truths about the ways married men cheat, lie, and manipulate their way through marriage... In what's considered this podcast's most controversi...
Apr 25, 2024•1 hr 43 min•Season 2Ep. 15
Is 'that's just how I am', your default response to being called out for certain behaviours that might be holding you back? Or is 'that's just how he is', your way of justifying that man's irresponsible behaviour towards you? Being a strict babe isn't for everyone but in this episode, we visit the various ways we can let go of the excuses and start observing our situations for what they really are... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or lea...
Apr 18, 2024•45 min•Season 2Ep. 14
What if the love you seek has already found you? Is self-love really the best love? Based on the awful reputation they have created for themselves, is there a limit to which we can involve men in our deepest dreams for the future? Much was covered in this episode! Join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'happily ever after' might already have happened for us and we haven't noticed... ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, ...
Apr 12, 2024•53 min•Season 2Ep. 13
Are you a 'one man' type of lover but you're curious? Has your boyfriend pissed you off beyond repair? Has the world convinced you that you're 'greedy' for dating more than one dude? If any of the above questions jump out at you, you're really going to dig this episode! Special shout-out to the girlies that already get it. ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book PO...
Apr 05, 2024•46 min•Season 2Ep. 12
Are you a woman who struggles to forgive men? Do people make you feel like you hold grudges for too long? Are you a recovering pushover? If any of the above questions resonate with you, pay attention to this episode! In this discussion, join Chidera as she runs through all the reasons men don't deserve to be forgiven so easily, and the ways women sabotage themselves by handing out the benefit of doubt to every Tom, Dami and Harry... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-pag...
Mar 29, 2024•52 min•Season 2Ep. 11
Why are straight women so helplessly bound to their heterosexuality? How can straight women gain more from their attraction to men without losing themselves? What do straight women keep doing wrong to further reinforce their suffering? In this episode, Chidera visits the various ways straight women betray themselves in exchange for 'love' from men... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well a...
Mar 22, 2024•46 min•Season 2Ep. 10
Do Black women benefit from 'race first' solidarity in their dating decisions? Is Black women's appreciation of Black men reciprocated? Are we moving towards a society where interracial relationships are becoming more popular as a form of Black women's resistance to intra-communal suffrage and misogynoir? Whilst this episode is deeply controversial, join The Slumflower as she discusses divesting from solely dating Black men, and what going where the love is looks like... Join my patreon at patre...
Mar 15, 2024•51 min•Season 2Ep. 9
