The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. The skinny confidential, him and her. Well, I've never done anything like I've done a lot of heavy work as an actor, but never anything that's like real.
When I'm acting, I don't recall my own trauma. I don't really use my own stuff. So this was a very different experience. And it was very intense and very heavy. And so honestly, I was like very happy for it to be over. And I was happy to be done writing it. But it was really cathartic because I think that there's really something in...
sharing your story and just being really honest and open that helps you process what happened. I first discovered you. What do you think I'm going to say? I don't know. Something weird. I was sitting at home alone. I was looking for a show to watch. This is years ago. Okay. And up pops. The girlfriend experience. Yeah, if that feels on brand. And I was like, this is so juicy. I'm like, who is this girl? She's amazing. That's so funny. What a fun show to build. It was. It was really fun.
that is so he can you're not gonna talk about it it's um it's just about you know women who are escorts but offer like a full girlfriend experience basically i'll put it on my up next yeah i could use a break too if you could find one of those sometimes i just need a little space I'm going to watch it. I'll watch it on the plane ride home. Riley, welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. We're so happy to have you. I have told you multiple times your book was so amazing.
you and your mother's book that you both wrote together it was so beautiful and so open and so vulnerable and It was honestly shocking because sometimes you read celebrity memoirs and you're like, you're like, you're not telling me anything. I'm not going to name the person that I'm talking about, but there is a very famous person that I was just reading her biography. I was so excited to read it.
The whole entire, I had to stop it halfway through, was positioning herself as a hero. There was no... there was no like openness about anything. It was just about how great she was, which is awesome. But like, we need to see a little behind the scenes. Yeah. I think that that, like my mom was so like,
raw and authentic and herself that the only version of an autobiography would be a version where it was kind of just everything out there. And when I got the tapes, that she'd recorded she basically recorded 16 tapes of her entire life story you know because she was she was going to write her own her own book um and then she passed away so i got these tapes and like the honesty and the tapes
she's talking to somebody who she doesn't really know well, who she's planning on writing this book with. And her honesty in the tapes was everything that's in the book. So I kind of, you know, if she didn't want it in the book, she wouldn't have. set it on the in the tapes so I think that she had always just planned on being really you know straightforward about difficult things like her addiction and her you know grief and the loss of her father and and
And I was quite surprised at how open she was willing to be. How did you even go about listening to those tapes? You mentioned off air you had to pace yourself into it. Yeah, well, it was like three months after she died. So it was a couple months after she died that I got them. And I was putting it off because it felt very intense. I don't know.
I'm sure many people listening have lost parents and just hearing their voice is really jarring. Like a photo is jarring sometimes if you're not expecting it, but the voice is very like visceral. And so... I prepared for it and I put my headphones in and laid down because I knew it was going to be emotional. Then I started at tape one, which was her first memory.
childhood and did she film these all like in a period of time or was this throughout her life that she was it was over the last like five years of her life uh and she was it was all being recalled actually after my brother died. So she was in grief for a lot of, like a lot of the tone of her book was through the grief of losing her son. And so I think that when...
With that said, there's so much humor and love and all of those things in the tapes as well. But the weird thing was is that after... a few minutes it started to just feel like she was on the phone and there which was then hard to like hang up you know because
I felt like I was just in the room or something while she was chatting with a friend or something. And then slowly, my method sort of changed and I switched into the... writer brain part of me that was like okay and i need to structure this and here's this story and this is great and whatever she writes screenplays too oh no i'm aware but how how long through
Throughout your grief process till you jumped into like how long after it passed till you decided to like go into that? It was pretty quick. And I think that that's because it came from a place of... Like when someone passes away and you feel like there's all these loose ends that you need to tie up, that was one of them. Like this book was something she was mid-process and it just felt like this thing I needed to...
And it wasn't like, I wasn't like, oh, I'm so excited to do this. I was more like, I don't. want to do this but I'm going but I have to it kind of felt like so at the beginning yeah it was very much like just felt like a task sort of and then I started enjoying it The book, maybe it doesn't start, but it begins with your mom being nine or seven years old, I can't remember, and seeing Elvis like...
being like carried out in front of her and it seems like your mom had had so many intense things happen there's like a string throughout her whole life and it seemed like that was the thing that that was the age when her when When he passed, that's how old she was? She was nine? She was nine when he passed.
Which, by the way, side tangent, like I was, we were thinking about this on the show. Like, all right, now we talk about this. We're like, okay, like fame has changed. Yeah. Now. Totally. That's really important because in this time. It's important context. five people and I was sitting here the other we were in the car literally yesterday Ariel was there and I was like
It's crazy because sometimes we'll meet people doing what we do. And I'm like, how do I not know more about it? I got like 30 million people following or 25. And I think it's because the world now can follow so many people and we see so many.
Elvis, your grandfather, is arguably maybe one of the most famous people in the history of... the world right like there's not people like people like who are you talking like that had to be strange for not only you but your family seeing that level of fame compared to now because
And then also Michael Jackson, too. But there's certain people that are like, I don't think that level of notoriety... It doesn't really exist. I don't think it can exist anymore. It doesn't really. It's kind of, I mean, yeah, it's a... It was definitely, I think, a really singular experience. And that I think that maybe it exists for like Kim Kardashian. No, I don't even think that. Lauren and I went to Beijing, China one time. Yeah.
It's not a comment on that. We were there. And they didn't know who, at the time, they didn't know who she was. And there were certain people they didn't know. And there was like, you know, people knew like Ronald McDonald, Santa Claus.
and Elvis. Right, right. Yeah, totally. Like Jesus or something. Yeah, totally. But now, I mean, maybe you could say someone like Trump is known throughout the world, but there's very few, and he's the president of the United States, but there's very few people that I think the entire world knows about now. Right, and the crazy thing about that is he didn't even travel internationally or tour internationally because he just toured America. Isn't that wild? It's interesting seeing...
Elvis through your mother's eyes because to her that was her dad yeah and it was interesting how your mom sees everyone around him and I also got to read your grandmother's book yeah
And your grandmother had a very similar perspective of Elvis. It was her significant other. Yeah. It wasn't Elvis. Yeah, so that was interesting. And it seemed like through the book that your mother... idolized her father as a daughter not as a fan totally totally I think she would get like a kick out of the certain moments with him like coming to her school or whatever but she was she was the kind of person who like
was kind of the wrong person to be born into this life. Hated attention, didn't want anything to do with it, didn't want to be famous. And so I think that they had a really... special relationship and I think that that uh he was a really loving father to her and the best father he could be and I think that the loss of him was really like dictated her life in a sense.
Do you think that maybe your mom didn't like attention because she saw what attention did to her dad? She probably just got so much of it, you know, that it was like intense, I guess. I think that like, speaking of like... the grief in the book she kind of talks about the funeral service and like fans coming into the house and watching people fainting and getting carried away by ambulances and like the
this sort of like global grief of someone that's very personal to you I think was a really strange experience for her because I think that it didn't really leave room for her to have her own personal grief and therefore I don't think she ever really processed the loss of him and it was something she kept very close to her vest and actually until this book like she never talked about.
The day that he died. It's almost like other people took ownership over his death. And so it's like she like you said, she wasn't left to have the feelings that she could have. Right. It's interesting. to me that too that she ended up um dating michael jackson just dating marrying marrying because he he like Like it's the same kind of thing. It's almost like you're always attracted to one of your parents. It's like Freud. It's weird shit.
I'm just trying to think where that response would exist in this world. It's a crazy thing to think that the entire world is paying attention to the passing of a family member. Yeah, I know. It is crazy. I mean, I don't know any different, so like... It's just regular. It's regular, but I can understand that it's crazy.
When you were a little girl and your mom would tell you about her dad and her mom, how would she describe it in the same way she described it in the book? Kind of. I mean, she just would tell us stories about him. A lot of the stories that are in the book, she would just tell us as kids, like, especially if we were in Memphis, she'd say, like, this happened here and this happened here. And there was so much love there. But she wouldn't really talk about her grief very much.
until I was, you know, in my mid-20s. But she would talk about him often and, you know, how much she was a daddy's girl and the loss of him. Did you realize when you guys would go to Graceland and stay in the room and there was tours happening and she was in the room with her mom and brother? And they would like you have to wait in the room. Did you realize how crazy that was at a young age or do you have no concept of it?
So we didn't do that when we were little. That was more in our 20s. Oh, I thought it was when you were little. No, we were actually like, me and my brother were like probably 20 and 20. Three. Okay. Yeah. But we would, my mom went through a phase where she wanted to stay at Graceland upstairs in her dad's room, which is not part of the tour. And if we didn't get out of there early enough, then we would... basically be stuck there.
until the tours ended. So the security would kind of like bring us McDonald's or whatever. Did you understand like Graceland when you were that age? Did you understand why there was people touring it? Did you understand how people were... so attached to the story of it? I don't think there was ever a point when my mom had a conversation with us. I think it was just around always. So I think that...
I never know how to answer this question because it was just something that was normal to us. But I was aware of the love and the... the fans and the whole thing. It seems like she did a good job of protecting you guys and your childhood from all of the like the stuff that comes along with Hollywood. Yeah. She did. I mean, look, the 90s were really crazy for her and especially right before she married Michael and after she married Michael was really intense.
Paparazzi. Paparazzi and like people in our trees and like a million security and like just very like people kind of throwing their bodies at the car like just really kind of chaotic. And how old were you during all this? Probably like when I was born until, well, probably like three until 12. It was the craziest, I would say.
yeah i think for people that are like listening it sounds insane but for you it was probably just like this is just my childhood you don't know because you don't know any different no i don't and i reflect on it and i i know that it's unique but but at the time it was just like this is just
you know and now like my life is very simple so I think that definitely it had an effect on me you know I don't want that lifestyle do people tell you that throughout the book you seem like you're there's like a element to you that you're like the one that's in control even as a child like you're you seem like you're organized you seem like in a way like a little bit of a parental energy I definitely felt that it like
though my mom was very parental and very maternal and strict and like very much our mom like you know we'd never talk back and like it was very different kind of parenting than there is now, but, you know. There wasn't gentle parenting. There wasn't gentle parenting, though she was really loving. You know, she was firm and very. I think you could be loving and firm. She was, you know what, she was loving and firm.
I actually think it was very effective parenting because we all turned out pretty good. great but like we have good manners we felt really loved like i loved my parents while at the same time i was also scared of them yeah like yes me and my husband talk about this all the time yeah i don't think that's a bad thing
Right. I look like I wasn't scared for my safety. I will say I was scared that my mom had a sort of southern like mama strength where we would never like never like I have friends who grew up saying. calling their parents names and stuff like that would have never flown in my house. I did that one time. One time to my dad.
I'll just say that was the first and last time I ever did it. Exactly. Yeah, that wasn't fun to see you after that. Also, my mother was like a black belt in Tung Su Do. So they're just like, I watched her one time break a brick with her head. Right. Never mind. It seems like that you had such a good experience with Michael Jackson. And you talked, like, it seems like he seemed like a great guy. Is that correct?
The only context in which I can talk to him about is like my actual experience as a six-year-old. And in my experience as a six-year-old, he was my stepfather who I was really attached to. I really cared for. And, you know, they were very much married and very much a sort of normal couple, even though it sounds... I know that's, you know, people have a hard time conceptualizing that for, you know. But...
It was very, like, they would stay in the house together and would take us to school. And so it was very, like, normal. And I think at that age, you're my mom. had multiple partners, and I did find myself being emotionally attached to almost all of them because it's like, I don't know, there's like someone in your house who's caretaking, you know, that...
Yeah, so I did feel close to him, and I did really love him. I understand that my dad had, if he's listening, sorry. He had a lot of different... mates right and you you do you form like a bond with them even if it is for six months yeah Or six days. Yes. Daddy. Yeah, I know. So I understand that. Yeah. At what point of your childhood did you let your mom know that you wanted to go into the career that you're in? And was she like, no, or was she supportive?
But is it weird for my wife to still call her dad, daddy? Yeah, I call him daddy. I think it's okay. My dad's in my phone as daddy. Yeah. And you like when I call you daddy. No, but they want you to now. I'm like, no. I don't know. I think you have to choose one or the other. Papa and Daddy. Or I could call you Little Papa. That's the worst.
When you told your mom that you wanted to get into your career, was she like, fuck no, or was she like, let it rip? She was definitely like, fuck no, but she also wanted to be supportive. I think that she didn't... want me. She had so much like, I think being the daughter or child of a celebrity at that time was more kind of embarrassing.
than maybe it is now. Like I think now it's kind of everyone's does everything and there's like I think that she like I think that her view on like celebrity children was or nepotism, was very cringy. She was like, oh, don't just be a celebrity kid who's out there trying to act. If you're going to do anything, you have to be the best at it.
And you have to be really good and better than, you know, or as good as your peers. And so I think there was a lot of, she put a lot of pressure on us to not. sort of be a dilettante, I guess, or try things and like just to take it very seriously. Well, you know how some people will be like, oh, that's that person's son or that's that person's daughter. I think. all three of the generations, especially having Elvis as a grandfather.
have done a good job of differentiating themselves. Like, I look at you as an actress, I look at your mom as her own, like, sort of entity, and then you look at Elvis. I think that's cool that you guys have been able to, like, establish your own niche.
and do it the best well it's always like people that come from prominent families or wealthy families over there always they're always going to be from an outside perspective short change in a way because no matter what accomplishments they have either some people are going to say well they didn't deserve them or they were given them or they're going to look and say well or they're not this person and
I don't think people are crying tears to these people that have platforms or come from wealthy families. But it's an interesting way to go through life when you are constantly being compared to a previous generation that was well-to-do because it's kind of like, hey, I'm here and I'm doing really great things. I'd like some credit. But it's just, you know, I think that comes with anything.
we do well in life and later in our kids do things, they're going to be like, there's always going to be the people that say, oh, well, they have this. Yeah. And you're also building a future for your children. So I don't know. I think that like in our case, it was. very different generation to generation because you had my mother who is Elvis's only child. So her ability to like have a career and be her own person, I think it was really hard for her.
It was like they look like each other. They have the same last name. It was like very much, you know. And it was of that time. It was of that time. And... And it was kind of like there was never really a chance for her to like have her own identity, I don't think. Whereas for me, we have a different last name. I kind of wasn't, I didn't grow up.
as famous as she did kind of like i didn't we were photographed all the time but it was for my mom you know what i mean like it wasn't like they were chasing i mean for the most part me and my brother around so I was able to have an acting career for many years where people didn't necessarily even know who my family were.
which I felt really lucky about because I watched my mom really struggle with that. And so I think in her case, it was much more of a hindrance than in my case. I think that it's been, I've been luckier with that.
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Did she not want you to go into this line of work and profession because of all of that in the comparison or because she also knows what comes along with having a public platform? I think the comparison. I think it was mostly like she didn't want us to fail or feel like like have the experience she had like when she You know, she wrote records and put music out, and she was a beautiful lyricist and a beautiful poet, and it was just, you know, the record labels trying to make it more...
Elvis-y and wanting her to do Elvis songs and duet the whole you know so I think that and you know she would she had wonderful fans but she also would have a lot of like Elvis impersonators at her shows and so it was I think it was hard
Her own career was hard for her. And I think that she just didn't want us specifically to do music. Like, I very early on... asked for music lessons and wanted to play piano and I think she her and my father both were a bit afraid of us doing music so I think in a way film was a little more like oh that's a little less scary
How crazy would it be for her to see this book, though, that stood on its own two legs, nothing to do really with Elvis. It's you and her. Yeah, I think she would have been really like blown away by it because she was actually.
incredibly insecure and like didn't really feel deserving like she felt she was she it was it was interesting because she was extremely strong headed and and strong-willed and tough but also really fragile and and deeply insecure so i think that she would be truly shocked that the book was a bestseller that she you know
that her story mattered, that people were interested in her. How did that affect you when she was insecure when you were little? That's such a good question. I think about this as my own daughter. That's such a good question. I didn't, I felt... sad for her. I don't think it made me insecure. I think I felt a sadness.
for her but it was crazy because she was she was really insecure about her physical appearance and she was so unbelievably beautiful like one of my first memories of her was her putting on her lip liner and in the mirror and
I just remember thinking she was 28 at the time, and I remember thinking that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her whole life's so stunning, but in that particular era, to me, she was like... just like beyond beautiful and she was just never saw a photo of herself she thought was pretty i think i just felt sad you seem so secure and confident
So it's interesting. And throughout the book, you feel that too. Like you just feel to me like you feel secure even when you're little, when you're talking about yourself when you're little. Maybe it's like because I felt really loved.
You know? I don't know. I do feel secure. Yeah. Of course, I have, like, I'm a human and, like, I feel insecure about many things. But I would say for the most part, that is, there is truth in that. And I think that maybe I was raised... by parents who were like unconditionally loving you know and what's so cool too is about how your dad and your mom were able to maintain this beautiful friendship throughout i mean i've i've barely heard that in my
interviewing everyone. I've never heard that. I know. It's really impressive. And I think that like that was also really dictated like the way I approach relationships in my life. And I would... My parents basically got divorced when I was six, and then on and off lived together until she died, basically. He was there with her in the house.
I think they just tried to, like, they were very platonic. They didn't, I asked her at dinner, like, a few years ago when the last time they hooked up was. And she was like, it wasn't, you know, it was in, like, 19... I don't know, 98 or something like that. They mostly just like drifted into friendship. They just drifted into friendship and they were awful married, I think, but they were great as friends.
He would live in the back house when she had different husbands and boyfriends, and I think it was uncomfortable for a lot of... He was fine. He was fine. I think some of the boyfriends had a hard time. But he was fine, and we were fine. I mean, we were... you know, really lucky, I think. And is you, are you still like have a great relationship with your dad today? Is he so proud of the book? He, he, he's, um, I think he has a, he's, he.
also grew up in a time where like our family story felt so protected like it was like Growing up, it was like, never put your name on anything. Don't put your address anywhere. Don't talk about anything. Like, it was very secretive. So I think he still has a lot of that, like, oh, it's like very... uh unnatural to like share so much and what and what i mean outside of the obvious reasons for safety and stuff like why did the family feel the need to be like that
I don't know. We were just raised that way. I guess it was safety, mostly. That makes sense. Yeah, safety and probably just... Again, I think celebrity at that time was much more private in a lot of cases where now it's everyone's just shares kind of. Did you also think that like everyone was so entitled to every single little last thing that Elvis did that.
That his daughter was probably like this. I'm gonna go the also the stakes were higher, right? Like you leave the house and you go to the grocery store and the photos like 50 grand or something, you know Did you ever as a child do Was it challenging to become friends with other kids? Did you have instances where people are like, oh, this person's not here for the right reasons? You had to kind of watch out for that? Definitely. But I always could perceive.
it you know but there was a lot of like is your mom home can we come over like from the kids from the kids from the kids I mean which would be from the parents because how would they know you know Oh my God. But there was a lot of like, can we see your house? Do you have a big house? Like that kind of stuff. And then as I got older, just like ridiculous questions about, you know, so, but those kids were always very.
transparent. I feel like you get a nose for it too. You do, yeah. You're like, next. Yeah, exactly. Some kid and their dad show up in Elvis outfits. It's a dead giveaway. Yeah, right. With what happened with your brother, you seemed like you had the most amazing relationship with him. My mom committed suicide. Oh, my God. I didn't know that. Truly, I would not wish it on anyone. Yeah. Really. Wow. It's really.
obviously devastating for the person to go through, but it's really hard in the aftermath. How have you dealt with that and how did you talk about that? You seem like you're such good friends with your brother. Yeah. Well, as you know, it's like the most fucked up experience. Yeah, it really is. And I don't know, I'm only a few years out, but if it's something you ever can shake.
Because it's so intense. We had a grief, not a counselor, but what do you call an expert specialist on the show literally yesterday. Oh, wow. And he was basically saying it's like it never leaves. You never shake it. It's just like you learn. You learn to live with it. So you learn to live with the pain and the trauma and the.
fear and the anxiety and like all of the things that accompany grief because I think it's like grief is so big and changes all the time and I think that that's something I realized like When I think that I have a handle on it, it shifts, and the next year it's a totally different experience. But I just try and stay present in the uncomfortable moments, really, is all I have.
When it happened, I kind of had this feeling that if I wasn't extremely present through the pain of the grief, that I wasn't going to make it through it. So I felt like I consciously was trying to feel everything, I think. I don't know what that did, but that was my method.
It's overwhelming. I think the suicide is so overwhelming because you start rewinding the tape of like... you know the last time you talked to them could you have said something and then the last month that you were with them could you did you see a sign yeah and then you're like well why why like why and then you start thinking about for me I start thinking about like years later
or years before two years before like was there something there that was weird you start putting it together and it's kind of like a mind fuck it is a mind fuck yeah in your situation was it something that was um totally shocking or was it it from your perspective um
Now that I'm an adult, not at all. Right. Now, you know how you have like the perspective, you can see how that could have happened. Yeah. I can, I actually, this is really weird. I've never said this to anyone but Michael. I actually understand it. Okay. This is a long time ago, though. So I actually understand it and I feel empathy for it. And what you said about your mom, about how you said she was insecure, that you weren't insecure, you felt.
sorry for empathy yeah that's that's how i feel i will tell you that when i had a daughter it it brought it back up like yes to the surface yes and I think the same with you. Grief sort of never ends. For instance, if you were to have a little boy, and you have your daughter, and you see that relationship, it's kind of...
brings stuff up that you think is shoved down. A hundred percent. And like, I also had a daughter and, and my mom passed away when she was five months old. And so I spent, have spent a lot of her life in grief. so far and it brings up a lot of like fear and you know like irrational fear and going oh god am I gonna is this gonna happen you know
I think the fear of lose, like the loss of connection between a child and a parent is like so terrifying. Yeah. That it does bring up like, am I going to end up like that? Is this going to happen to like somewhere? You know, yeah, it's definitely.
uh been an interesting time parenting it's because it's like it's like you said everything is a reflection it's like especially with what you've been through with double i mean i can't even imagine it's like hitting you from both ends and then you also have to show up as a parent but then you're looking at yourself as the mother it's a mindfuck totally it's totally been a mindfuck and i think it's funny because a lot of the interviews i do everyone kind of is like well
Do you feel, like, so proud of yourself for breaking the generational trauma? Like, you feel like, you know, like putting me, like, or like giving me this responsibility that I've, you know. It's a weird question. And also people keep saying like...
how did you break your family's curse or something? And I'm like, that's so intense. But also I'm like, I definitely am a human and having like very human experiences of grief and sadness and... difficult emotions and I definitely don't feel like I've like done anything special. I just wasn't given this. I think that with suicide, specifically, and can you imagine how long ago, this was so long, no one wanted to even touch that word. It was like...
Someone told me to lie and say my mom died of brain cancer. It's crazy. People did not want to touch that word. So I think even now they don't know what to say to you. And so what they do is to overcompensate is they'll put you on a pedestal as you're the one. They're like, wow, you're alive. I mean, this is not honestly timely, but we just did this episode with him yesterday. And he was saying just this. He's like, people just don't know.
how to behave or what to say or how to say it or how to respond or even how to have, we're just, we talk about so many things as a, as a people, but like people are so uncomfortable talking about death. And also like, you know, things that are considered, especially suicide.
like we just like we're so uncomfortable with it it's so uncomfortable and I'm like hate to break it to you like you're gonna have to confront it at some point you know not that it has to be such a violent experience but like I think also it's
I was saying to someone recently, it's viewed as a failure too. And people are constantly like, I'm so sorry. And of course it's tragic, but like... everyone's gonna die and so I think that the the sort of like like my feelings around death have changed so drastically in the last few years losing two family members and I just feel like the conversation around dying. First of all, it doesn't happen. But also, I actually went to... I found it so isolating.
what you're saying, how nobody really knew what to say, and it was really uncomfortable for everybody else. And I'm like, yeah, of course it's uncomfortable for you, but it's also extremely uncomfortable for me. And not being able to talk about it is, you know.
isn't great so I went and I had to like find people I had to find podcasts and things that were you know that made me feel a little bit less alone in that experience and through that I found out that there's something called a death doula which is basically like a birth doula but for for you know people who are dying and so i went and like trained to to become a death doula and so i was like how can i like help people be less uncomfortable
uh talking about you know that's amazing i've never heard of that well it's just like again like we're This is a universal thing that everybody is going to experience at some point, whether it's to a loved one or to a friend or to yourself. I think that was specifically with suicide or drug addiction death. Sorry, I wasn't saying suicide. No, I know. No, we kind of went like...
They just don't even know what to say. Yeah, I think that suicide's really specific because people are really afraid of it. Yeah. And it feels really violent and like, I don't know, people just are really... really, really scared. There's a taboo. Didn't he say yesterday? Oh, were you with David Kessler yesterday? He's my grief therapist. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's amazing. That's who I went yesterday. Yeah, awesome. He's amazing. So I found him.
I found him, and he was the only person I could find, and I called him, and I was like, can you please come help my family? He's amazing, right? He drove over from wherever he lives, and he was like, I can be there tomorrow. I was like, please mop us up.
You know what's so crazy? He really helped. He really helped. Some people you meet like that, and we do a lot of these shows, obviously, and you meet some people like that, and you're like, that is like a good person. Yeah. Like just like a good person. The most amazing thing was... So I found him because I searched in podcasts, like, what did I search? Grief. Like, what did, I don't know. I don't know what I searched, but his name came up.
And I showed it to my husband and I was like, find him. Like, I don't know how, because we were, this was days after. Is your husband like Dog the Bounty Hunter? Yeah, literally. And I, we were in such a... state of shock this was right after my brother passed it was i couldn't i literally couldn't lift my body off the like i would just lay on the ground in the summer and i couldn't get out of bed and my parents were just like destroyed and um
And so he reached him, and I was so surprised that he was so, like, responsive. Like, he wrote back in, like, a few hours, and then he was like, I'll come over. And so he came over. And he did his grief therapy and talked to us. And when he left, I was like, how do I pay you? And he was like, I don't charge. That's what I'm saying. I was like, what? He came in yesterday. We spent a lot of time with him on and off camera. Some people you meet are like, that person is a...
Certain people like that. Yeah. The book that helped me with my mom's death the most was You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Oh, wow. I'm talking to him yesterday and I'm like... Your energy reminds me of Louise. Hey, she's dead now. He's like, Lauren, I wrote a book with her. That's amazing. He ran down to his car.
I have read every single book by this woman. For some reason, the one that he wrote has never been served to me. Wow. He brought me the book. It's called You Can Heal Your Heart, and it's all about death. Wow. So now I have to read that one. Those are my... two books that I would recommend for anyone dealing with grief. The book You Can Heal Your Life is amazing, but he does have that energy of Louise Hay. It's a really pure...
And the fact that he deals with grief on a day-to-day basis and helps so many people is really incredible. And your mother was still alive when your brother passed. Yeah. My mother and David were very close. She kind of came over. all the time and they would do grief groups together for other parents.
She wanted to do a podcast with him. Like, they were very close. And he helped her immensely. Wait, did you realize that that was the guy when you found him on the podcast for grief? The guy that your mom did stuff with? No, I found him. She found him.
Oh, you found him and then your mother connected. And then my mother connected with him. Got it, got it, got it. And he just was at our, he basically was at our house every day for a few months and really helped my family through like the worst part of the grief.
And so what was your relationship like with your mother when all that was going on? We were all living together in her house. Me, my dad, my mom, my sisters, and some of my friends would stay over and it was during COVID. So it was really... What an uplifting time. I know. It was pretty gnarly. And the thing is that he would come over, but really all he would do, not all he would do, was talk to us about my brother.
and be there and sort of just witness the the grief and so it's not like he was like doing some magic spell you know like you want to tell all the friends yeah exactly just be present in the the other person's pain you know um but he was remarkably helpful and is a truly wonderful person. You say in your book, you said that when that happened with your brother, you
One of your immediate thoughts was about your mom. You thought, like, you knew. How did you know that? I think that she and him had a really special relationship. Yeah. So there was that. Only son. Only son. She has two twin sisters. Two little sisters. Yeah. Only son. And he was like her favorite. you know to be you know straightforward not out of me and out of me and him well it probably was like reminded her of her dad i i'm sure you know and they looked
really similar. Yeah, they did. He looked a lot like her father and they had a really incredible bond. And she also like wouldn't watch movies where parents lost children, like couldn't handle. like even conceptualizing a parent losing a child. It was like her worst nightmare. She would talk about it. She had friends who lost children and she was like, I wouldn't make it.
I would not make it. I would die. And she would say it all the time. So I kind of just knew. I knew that she wouldn't make it. So how did you show up for your mom? then like how how are you even strong enough to show up for your mother knowing that and also just losing your brother so the amazing thing that happened or the unexpected thing that happened, actually, was when my brother died, I was, like, I, we were all grieving differently, of course, but I needed help.
like from them and i was really not doing well and so our dynamic changed a bit like my parents kind of were being the sort of responsible ones handling the the funeral service and all of that and i was like i can't get out of bed and so i i was in a different role than i normally was um which was not
what i would have anticipated but they were actually taking care of me through that because it was really hard on me but that was probably really nice it was it was and so i think that um yeah they both kind of stepped up you know in this beautiful way together as like a non-married couple and and uh you know obviously they were devastated but i think in that moment they were taking care of me more than i was taking care of them
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How has your husband supported you? It seems like you have a real solid relationship with him. We do. He's like the most solid person ever and very like stable emotionally. it's amazing for you yes and he feels sort of like an angel in a way that i was kind of given to help me through all of this stuff better talk about me like i'm And so, I don't know. I just feel very grateful. Like, he's the kind of person, like, I can get anxious or catastrophize things. He's very, like, very...
calm and stable. So it's been really nice to have that. Did you hear that? You're taking your call? How has it been being a mother? balancing everything you're balancing the book how do you how do you juggle all these balls and do it effectively um a lot of work it's a lot of work
It's a lot of work. And I do work a lot. You know, like I like working. So I'm really busy. I work more than my husband. He... has been amazing and that he's not a stay-at-home dad he works but he's like he's traveled everywhere with me so I you know so yeah so he's kind of holds it down a bit and lets allows me to to work, which is amazing.
And I don't know, we just make it work. It's really hard. So at this point, do you like writing more? Do you like acting more? I mean, now that you've done... I feel like she's an octopus. Well, you've had success, obviously, as an author. Yeah.
writer as an like what do you find your kind of like sweet spot now or is it just kind of they're just different like i i love performing as an actor um a lot i love writing it's a very like um isolated experience whereas acting is like very you know more social I guess you're doing with a team you're like with you're with around people um and directing is also very fun I I really enjoy all of all of those things um writing a book was really
different and hard. I don't know if that's something that I would... you know, do again. Why did you do it? Like what was the, like in the beginning? It's like she had to close the gap for her mom. Because my mom, okay, she literally started writing a book. Okay. And she, In the middle of that, my brother died. And she was like, I don't want to write this book anymore. I don't care about this book. I only care about writing about grief and your brother.
I was like, well, you have to write this book because you're in the middle of it. So it needs to be finished. And had you read any of it? I hadn't. I had read like I'd read like the proposal and like a few things. But not really. I was kind of actually staying out of it. And then she, in December, like a month before she died, came to me and she called me with her manager and she was like, I don't want to write this book.
I know I have to finish it. I don't want to talk about myself. Like, I think she was feeling very like, why am I writing a book about myself? And I kind of was like, I think the problem is you are expecting this to feel like... like a salacious celebrity like you're expecting this to be like another like star magazine kind of a thing and I was like and it needs to be something really elegant and
beautiful about your life. And she was like, well, can you do it? And I was like, sure. Yeah, I'll help you for sure. And then she died. And so I felt like I had to. Yeah. that makes sense yeah and if when you read it like there's different fonts so like you can like see her writing who's writing and who's and actually the audiobook's really cool because you can hear julia roberts is my mom and then I'm me. And then you also there's intros to each.
um chapter that is my mom why did julia roberts do it just like did you i don't know i just asked her and she said yes no you didn't i didn't i just sent it to her and she like responded to the book and and she said yes but she was the only person like Not that she's not amazing. I was just like, oh, is this like someone that you were close with? No, I never met her in my life. There was a list they sent of actors who could read my mom's part.
And she was the only person that I felt had this sort of strength in her voice that felt right to me. And so she was the first person we asked. And she said she would do it. And I was just like totally blown away. What has surprised you the most after this came out and it's become such a huge hit? What are some things that have surprised you about it?
Well, I mean, it surprised me that it was like a bestseller because I wasn't expecting that. You didn't think it was going to... I like to be like... I don't know. I was trying to be cautiously optimistic, but I didn't know. See, that's my problem because every time I release one of these, I'm like, this is going to be a huge hit. And then when it's not, I'm the opposite. I'm like, this is going to be the one. But I think there's something to that.
Every time, I'm like, this is the best thing. I think that the positivity... Holistically, it's probably better. It's a lot though. Like when we're out to dinner and he's looking at the mirror behind me instead of me, it's a lot. I get to go through life constantly disappointed as opposed to pleasantly surprised. It's a lot. I think that's my method is I'm like always undersell in my mind. So it surprised you that it was a bestseller?
Kind of. Yeah, I did. And I think also the response that people had, the like very human response people had, because I think a lot of the time my family has been... interacted with in a way that feels not very human. And I think that how much people were relating surprised me. Are there things that... irk you or bother you that people say about you and your family to this day that they're just like oh that's just like so off base oh that's a good question um i think that it's just
Not really because I kind of grew up hearing all kinds of things all the time and most of it was totally off base so it just kind of felt silly. But recently I think like... the idea with this book that like I keep getting asked like I said about like a curse that like a family curse or something and I just find that so annoying because I'm like it's it's like
very human experiences like everyone I know has somebody who's like suffered from addiction or lost a parent or lost a sibling or well this is this is like what I you know To observe all this, like we were saying the other day, if you were just anybody else with different grandparents or different parents... You'd be like, that's a person who has... I was giving an example yesterday. We had somebody that's got a very...
well-known prominent platform and they talked about like how they sleep with their children and it was like somebody machine gun firing publications like oh my god this and i'm like if anybody else in the world said they slept with their kid right no one would think about it because it was this person it was like yeah literally like
news article after news article. I'm like, does anyone really give a shit? Yeah, exactly. And everyone's commenting on it, their opinion. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, yeah. So I think that that, like the dehumanizing, I guess, a little bit where it's like...
can can bother me sometimes but you know what i also don't care yes because it's like exposure therapy you've done you've put yourself out there so many times it's like doesn't it's like i'm good i've done it so many times i'm over it yeah i think that there's the truth is is there's not much that It bothers me in terms of press stuff. It doesn't really affect me. Well, the press people are going to hate me saying this, but it's not really even relevant anymore.
Everyone when people say like oh look at you got featured in this or I'm like nobody care I mean also in this time you're not gonna get me any more story You know he's gonna write about the fucking podcast right but every time I see I'm like great Maybe that'll like give me a boost
I would make the argument that a lot of these old publications, they need these kind of things more than we need them. I mean, it's not like the old days when you pick up an Us Weekly or a People and nobody's paying attention anymore. Yeah, I know. And then that's the other thing is things just sort of come and go and I just like don't.
care. People are like, you need press. And I'm like, why? They're like, well, because you need it. And I go, why? They're like, because it's important to have them talk about it. But I'm like, nobody is paying attention to them. But I will say, I pay attention to podcasts. But that's different, that's what I'm saying.
Oh, you're going to put yourself in a different category? Of course, I always do. But the public, the point is, is like, I think that kind of like salacious, clicky, let's pick apart. Like I think, I think people don't care anymore. No, no. Like everybody's got flaws. Everybody's got a human condition. Which is great.
I think it's the downfall of people that are hanging out. People want substance now. They want to know who the person is, what they have to say. It makes sense, though, why everyone's DMing you in a humanized way. It's like the book did that. It made... your story like approachable i think that's that's to rephrase it like what i'm most proud of is that it's like there's a sort of like mythology of my family and i think that the risk like the dms i'll read my dms and and
People will say things during the book tour and it's very like, I also experienced grief or I also experienced addiction. It's not like, oh, Elvis and Lisa or whatever, you know, it's very human stuff. And I think my mom, like.
That's why she wanted to write a book, really. About grief. About grief and addiction and her struggles and just her life as a human being and wanting to connect with other people. Well, I think what people would... you know they see someone who has that kind of platform and comes from the background she comes from and they're like oh like
these people are human and they struggle with the same human things that we all and i think it it's relatable right it's like oh like everybody has problems everybody has struggles what's cool about about All of it is that it sounds like your mom wanted to focus on grief and the book did that. It didn't make it. Like you said about Elvis. Yeah. Lisa Marie. It's like the book helped people. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Like that's so full circle. Yeah. Okay. Everyone needs to go check out the book.
what are you working on where can they get the book tell us all the things I'm sure you already follow Riley I love following her you can get the book like anywhere you get books The audiobook, and I'm not just saying this, is really beautiful. Like, I think that it's on Audible. And I really recommend it just because you get, it's a totally different experience.
I recommend both, but I really enjoy the audio book. What am I working on? Like, you know, I'm just finished filming a movie. I'm still an actor. When you go and you do something that heavy, do you have to like go into something a little lighter after or can you keep...
going on the heavy subjects well I've never done anything like I've done a lot of heavy work as an actor but never anything that's like real like when I'm like my real life like when I'm when I'm he's acting when I'm acting I don't like recall my own trauma like I don't really use my own stuff so this was a very different experience like and it was very intense and very heavy and and I so honestly I was like very happy for it to be over
And I was happy to be done writing it. But it was really cathartic because I think that there's really something in like sharing your story and just being really honest and open that helps you process. What happened? It's heartic and amazing. Is there anything I forgot to ask you this that you wish you included in the book that you didn't? Anything I wish I included in the book?
Anything? Like, is there anything that you were like, I wish I included that? Or do you feel like you got it all out? I think there was a lot of things that felt like my experience that I didn't put in the book because it was my mom's book. And so there were moments where I was like, I want to really share this thing, but that's for another time and place and maybe for my memoir when I'm...
Maybe you and your daughter. Exactly. That's a good idea. Will write a memoir together. That's a really good idea. And she can do the same thing that you guys did. Don't you think it's strange when people write a memoir when they're 35 and they're like still going? That's why I didn't.
write my memoir i just like focused on her because there's some people that are like this is my memoir and i'm like dude you're 35 years old like you gotta you gotta keep going i know and that's another thing on this press tour people keep asking like when's your memoir I'm like hopefully not soon I feel like we gotta mix the questions up with the press I know like in my memoir Lauren we gotta get creative I agree in my memoir I would like because I fantasy
When are you going to write a memoir? But this would be like, we would be like 20% into the story in my memoir at this point. We'd be like, if the book was a thousand pages, this is like page 200. That's my hope. So that I got like 800 more. to go wow and i'd be like there was this one old time when i used to talk on this microphone to people but it would be like a blip on like the thing because i got a lot of shit i gotta keep doing okay
I can't wait for that chapter. Maybe I'll do the commentary. That would be cute. Yeah. We'll see how long you make it on the memoir. Hopefully you can get past the 20%. Are you in the memoir? I think I'm on every page. I can't get away from the memoir. I'm on every fucking page since I was born.
You guys have been together for a long time. I was thinking about this as you were talking. Let's just make it about me for a second. Okay, please. I'm enjoying this. I was thinking about this as you were talking. I was like, well, you got to listen to your mother. talking in these tapes and then I was like holy shit like Our kids could potentially like listen to it also 100% will yeah, that's kind of creepy they will they'll listen to every single thing like
If my mom had hosted a podcast, I would definitely be listening to everything. There's like 800 things they can hear me say. So be careful. You gotta delete all the sex ones before I go. Yeah. Before they're like, yeah, able to. Hopefully my son or my daughter, like as I'm like. they can like help me finish my memoir too. Yeah.
If you're listening to this, son, in 20... It's not about your memoir. ...in year 2016, you better help me. But you know what? You reminded me, like, something that was so special was having all these hours of my parent telling their whole life story. It's amazing. And I'm like, everyone should do it.
Do you know how bad I wish I had that? You were so lucky. Everyone should just like take their parent and give them a day and be like, okay, let's start from the beginning. You know what we've thought about doing? It's hard to get some of them to focus. I'm like, dad. You know what we've thought about doing? Daddy. But I think.
Daddy. Little Papa. Daddy. Big Papa Daddy. We've thought about doing this and I want to do this, but anyone can do this because podcast equipment these days, or just even recording equipment is not that expensive. I've thought about with Lawrence sitting each of our parents down and doing what we do, but not releasing it. You absolutely should. And actually conducting an interview with them about...
their life and going through it. You don't have to release it. To have it. Yeah, everyone can do that with their parents. I mean, most people that lose a parent have the voicemail. yeah i know the fact that you have all those tapes i'm sure it's like it's also it there's different dynamics to it you also feel a lot but it's amazing that you have that forever
But if you think about it, like people can just buy equipment and sit down with their parent and like record and ask them things about their life. I think it's like a good thing to do. It's a great thing to do. I, for some reason, feel a documentary. Do you think a documentary is going to happen? I would be open to it. Yeah. Because I'm a movie person. I know. So like that's more my, I don't know, like exciting. I mean, I love books, but I think that the idea of a documentary like.
would would excite me it's not something i necessarily would want to like direct because it's so personal but i i think that i would be open to it when i read it i'm telling you i was like Oh my gosh. The phones are going to start ringing. They're already ringing, Michael. She's Oprah's book club pick. Number one national bestseller as well as a New York Times bestseller. Go buy the book From Here to the Great Unknown.
Riley, thank you for letting me stalk you on Instagram to come on the show. I also stalked you through other people. I was like, she needs to come on. Please, please, please. So thank you for taking the time. Thank you for all of the like. health recommendations. And I'm pretty sure I found colostrum through you. So thank you for that. Which kind? From the tit or from the skincare? Is it cowboy colostrum? Did you post that? Armra.
I don't know. You posted one that my daughter's been on and she has not been sick in eight months. You know, I don't get sick anymore either. Oh, we got to end it about you. Okay. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Riley. Thank you.