Conquering Competition Anxiety & Mental Blocks With Rebecca Smith

Rebecca Smith is a mental performance coach for gymnastics and she really is the go-to source that I have for mental blocks and anxiety and kind of all of the performance aspects we know are really important for young athletes kind of particularly as we approach competitive season .

So I wanted to have Rebecca back on because we are quickly approaching the time when many , many people start to get , you know , really worried about doing their routines , getting their meat stuff together and kind of traveling and the pressure that comes with competition season . So we have a great episode here . We talk about these things right head on .

We talk about mental blocks and the fear that come up when somebody starts to have to compete under a pressure situation with a bunch of people watching or at a meet .

We talk about competition anxiety and how to normalize that with young kids , but also what are some practical , easy to use steps that people can use to manage their nerves around big routines or around big meets , and how we can slowly help to educate coaches and parents and gymnasts themselves on ways to successfully work through competition , anxiety or mental blocks

or fears that people have in gymnastics that are very , very common . So when this podcast comes out , rebecca is starting to promote a very popular free webinar series she's going to do to kind of talking people through these things on again competition , anxiety , mental blocks , fear . So in my personal opinion , I feel it's a must listen .

I feel like everyone in gymnastics gymnasts , coaches , parents needs to understand why these things are so important and that they're normal and that we can help people through them .

So there's a link below in the show notes that , whatever you're doing , if you're in the car , please don't do it now , but down below there's a show notes link that you can go and you can sign up and you can register completely free .

She's gonna offer so much great information on all these topics that many people ask me about and I'm sure people ask her about too as well . So make sure you sign up with all her resources because she has a loads of great stuff that is available available to everybody and I feel it could just be used more frequently , but it's not talked about as often .

So for this podcast we break through all the things I talked about lots of coping strategies for in the gym , routines , meets , pressure , mental blocks , stuff like that . So very popular past episodes that we've done Rebecca , so I want to have her back on in lieu of competition season , so I hope you all enjoy this episode .

Good to go , rebecca back in action . Fan favorite on the podcast . How are you ?

This is what we need , more like kind of I don't know . I think you and I and others do a good job of taking dorky things and giving practical , easy to use solutions . I think that's one of our part of our job as educators .

So , yeah , the last one that went up on mental blocks seem to be extremely beneficial and had a lot of practical advice , which I thinkamp . But we are closely approaching competition season and I can already feel the level of tension arising in the clinic or when I consult with people about , like we're not ready , what are we going to do ?

How do we get ready ? Like all that stuff is so stressful , so perfect timing to have you back on and help fix everyone's problems .

I mean I've gotten the emails from the mom of coach , says if she doesn't have all her skills by this date , then she can't compete at all , which I'm like oh yeah , okay , uh , interesting , you know , it's just all the coaches are like well , now we have to put more motivation .

We've got to light a fire under these kids which , unfortunately , if you're dealing with a kid who's high anxiety , highly sensitive , highly intelligent , those fires lit just turn into big threats , which actually causes the adolescent brain to start shutting down and receding and getting more timid and tentative .

So , biologically , they're starting to shut down , although the expectations are rising higher . So it's like this perfect storm of kids freaking out tears in the car and parents being like quick , something we need to fix this so poor coaches are probably getting all the meetings too , with the parents of like what do we need to do ? And sure ?

For me , I understand totally the real life of being a coach and trying to help people with good intent , but I also think we have to appreciate , as coaches or as non , you know , outside the gym people appreciate the parents , and Eva one time opened my mind up with a slot .

She was like frustrated with just all of us being too chaotic and then I was like , well , we have stuff to do .

And she was like , well , right , well , think about the parent who picks their kid up after a long day of gym and work , goes home to have dinner and they want to talk and the kid is just crying at the dinner table because they're missing a skill or someone put a huge like ultimatum on them that they have to have their series by this date to compete like .

And then imagine like this loving , awesome parent who's just having this kid melt down in front of them and their heart is bleeding because they just want their kid to be happy and excited . You can then empathize with a parent of like okay , well , I gotta like , I gotta schedule a meeting and I gotta like , what could we do ?

Private lessons , like what do we have to do to fix this , to help you ? It's . And then parents come in hot right . So coaches then get defensive because the parents coming in hot about the kid being not ready . And I think oftentimes you don't see the other side right .

The parent doesn't see this like very stressed out , very chaotic coaching practice situation trying to get people ready to not have the meat be awkward , and the coach does not see the kid crying at dinner and not being able to sleep and being upset because they're coming home from practice with this extreme amount of stress .

So I just want to set the stage on that there's both sides of the fence are very empathetic and need to be . So that's what I see , cause I kind of straddle the bridge between all these areas , consulting , you know what I mean .

It's like this thing inside of you , that's like I need to fix this now . And then coaches have . You know , it's natural to have the ego wrapped up in . How are my kids performing ? Are they like ? I have done my planning , I have set out my , my system . And then this one outlier over here .

It's easy to be like , well , there must be something wrong with them , because everyone else is doing fine , whereas you know there is responsibility for everyone . And then the final piece , the parents . When I started training the parents first , it was amazing .

We needed to support the kids way less , because the way that the parents you know , quote unquote fix the problem changes the whole scenario . It's almost always when a kid stays stuck in a mental block long term . There is a coaching issue , a parenting issue or both .

An issue is like you love your kid and you're trying your best , but you're just being ineffective typically .

You know there's there's a huge bell curve that exists in my coaching experience and this happens on the um coaching staff side and I consult with larger teams or colleges but also on the gymnast side which is there's this bell curve of some kids . Most kids right in the middle are kind of not anxious . They're kind of not like .

They have this like flow back and forth , of like when competition comes they get a little more riled up , but they're managing that . But they also have this like chill kind of mode they do that's probably the middle of the bell curve . But then there's extremes of the bell curve .

Whereas one person kind of needs that high intensity , rah , rah , get amped up , really excited , they love that high energy and they're more like athletes . I mean , I have met Olympians who are like this , who are like calm , introverted , no noise , headphones on by themselves . They're not in the rah-rah mode and both are okay .

I've literally met gold medalists who are the most amped up on the planet Earth . I think John Horton comes to mind , right ?

And then I think of people who are more like the calculated surgeon I don't know why focused and so in her bubble with her headphones on she's not out there screaming top of her lungs and you have , like Asher Hong , for example , right On one side . You have Steve Medarosic on the other side , right .

There are different personalities on that bell curve of who responds better to stress , ramp up competition , anxiety and for anybody listening parents , coaches or the medical providers we have to understand what personality type and what kind of like mold we're dealing with to more effectively help that athlete .

Right , so you could have been a father who grew up with , like the baseball football , rah-rah mentality , and that's what you're used to . But your son even , not even your daughter , but your son is like the quiet , took the mom's personality , introvert .

Yelling in your son's face and getting him excited , even if you mean well , is not going to go well , and I think coaches also feel that too as well . I mean , that's what I observe . I'm not sure if you feel the same way with people you work with .

You know , from when I was competing to when these kids are competing , thank goodness , gymnastics really evolved . I think youth sports evolved . I mean it's gotten more competitive but there's more education , thanks to people like you . But every kid is different and so there is no one size fits all mental training strategy .

Some kids are visual , some kids are kinesthetic , some kids are audio . So someone who is not visual whatsoever and has ADHD , if you tell them to sit and visualize their routines , it's going to be like what I can't , it doesn't work , that doesn't help me .

So then they're like well , mental training doesn't work , because my coach told me to sit and visualize and I couldn't do it , or I saw myself falling . So I think you know , anytime that you're coaching individuals , you have to tailor it . Some kids are going to need more spots , some kids are going to need more drills .

Some kids are going to need that push of like get up and go , that , like what you said , the kids who need the cortisol , that the kid who really thrives on being pushed needs that .

The kid who is high anxiety maybe , like , leans more toward depression or you know , just a little bit more delicate that kid needs to stay on low beam for two extra weeks to build their reassurance before they move up .

So if you've got , you know , one size fits all mental training and one size fits all physical training , like you said , that bell curve is going to leave some kids straggling right . Struggling .

We used to do these like two times throughout the season right at the end of season and then halfway through , like right after the holidays , before season started , just to have a 15 minute meeting of like how are you , what's going on , how's your life , have your goals changed ? How do you feel about skills ? How do you feel about routines ?

Are there things that , like , you're nervous about Almost always ?

I've never really met a kid who feels comfortable talking about something they're really nervous about or something that's on their mind in a group setting , because the social pressure is so high when you're in high school or middle school or whatever .

So sometimes when you get somebody into a more you know , one-on-one or one-on-three setting , we'd do a couple of coaches with a kid and just ask these things in private .

You can get a lot more out of them in terms of their style of learning , their goals , their fears , what's on their mind , and that is probably the best place to ask , like and Mo , by the way . Like , how do you learn best ? Like , do you want me to show you videos on an iPhone of you ? Do you want to watch a famous ? Some things ?

You want me to talk you through the technique ? You have to do it . I think like it's a lot to track with your athletes , but knowing how to actually get those pieces of information are really helpful . And the second piece of practical advice is when you give assignments , offer different options for what to do between turns for feedback .

So I personally loved having a screen up with a TiVo loop that was 25 seconds delayed so they could just get out , chalk up and look , but seconds delayed so they could just get out , chalk up and look . But some kids don't want to watch themselves , they want to go do a drill on the side .

They want to go , you know , watch their teammate do a similar skill , and so if you have different ways to take time between turns to get corrections , it helps serve their individual need or their individual style of learning .

And that personally , for me , made like a massive difference in coaching was not like ironing everyone into , like you're doing this drill right away , you're like you have to do it this way , like there are many ways to people all to get to the same style of correction , you know .

They don't listen to their injuries as much they're like if my coach says go , I got to go . And what happens with those kids often is that they get to a higher level and then they start to freeze up because they don't .

They don't know how to listen to their fear response and respond to it in a way that reassures their brain , reassures that their technique is solid , asks for help . You know , these kids are . They're just like sir , yes , sir . And then they get stuck in level eight or nine and they don't know why or how to fix it .

And it's if you can teach them at a young age to like how are you feeling Do ? you how is your body today ? How's your mind today ? It looks like you're hesitating . Let's , let's , figure out what your brain needs .

You know like , let them connect with what they need and tell you oh my gosh , that's going to give it's such a life skill for them to be able to understand that they're actually in the driver's seat with their body and with their mind .

on work and not do what is asked of them to get ready for meets . They kind of want to just like , do the bare minimum and then compete . That's what , unfortunately , sometimes you deal with the younger athletes who are still growing .

So I think there's a way to have expectations and guidelines in a very kind , polite , gentle way of like we're here to work , you have goals , you told me , that's why we're here in general . So we are here , we are working . There are ways in which we can do that , because you can still maintain a very productive practice right .

I think you can still get things going without have to constantly stop every two minutes and make a drill for this person or a side station , whatever . There's many ways to go about this .

But the other thing I'd like to say too , is that this really is about safety , and so when people are you have to have a line in the sand of when someone can or cannot compete skills for safety .

And that is where we developed this rule of seven , that the week prior to a meet you have to compete seven of whatever skill you're going to want to do in a meet setting or routine setting before you're eligible to compete . The parents knew it , the kids knew it , the coaches knew it . It was just no discussion because , again , it was for safety .

It's like no , we're not going to , like YOLO , flip a souk and possibly land short and hurt our ankles . You have to be here and do them and so . But again , that can be delivered in a kind , positive manner .

And so when you have those two things , the cultural guidelines that we're here to work , we want to work hard , we all have goals , and here are our barrier to entries for safety , for you to be able to compete , it wipes a lot of the table drama away of like , oh my God , this person doesn't want me to compete , she's being side-eyed , blah , blah , blah .

Like , why does this person compete ? Like , all that bullshit , frankly , is just so annoying inside , inside of some practice , that you have hard lines in the sand . So that's kind of the empathetic point of view for the coaches is like that has to be set in stone before , so parents understand that you can't blindside them the week of the meeting .

Oh , by the way , sarah doesn't have a giant , she's not competing .

That's all fine and good that they need to back it up , but like we actually have a meat , so they have to do the skill or don't , and and so from that perspective , I'm like the brain does not care about competition season . The brain does not care that you know they might not be able to do bars this weekend .

The brain only cares about keeping her or him alive and safe . Yes . And and it is important the safety thing . You know , getting them doing those skills in practice . Because a lot of these kids are there , their desire rises on competition day so they can chuck a skill , but ultimately that that backfires in two ways .

A , it's not that safe , because if they don't have the technique underlying that skill , that's not going to be you know the best , the best version of that skill .

But also it's confusing , because if they can't do the skill in practice and then they pull it out on Friday before , and then they pull it out , they they can't do it a warmup , but then they chuck it in the meat . I mean , how many kids have done this Like it's because their desire overrides their fear ? Right , but what this does , is it ?

It teaches them oh , I can override my fear , I don't have to listen to it . So then they start like trying to chuck stuff in practice . They try to try to make coach happy . Again , they're not listening to their brain . That's saying I don't feel ready for this , I need more reassurance .

So that's when those kids get to those higher levels and get totally stuck on four events because their brain is like you're not listening , I'm out of here .

But I have to compete , I have to be ready , I have to get my routines done and you think about , like okay , well , like why , like I understand that if you have a skill and you're just nervous , but you have the scale , it's safe , you've done it before .

Like that is a very normal part of gymnastics is being a competition , anxiety is part of it , and so there's definitely this art to coaching where there is maybe what 20% of the cases where , like , no , you have it , you've done this skill without a spot , you're totally safe .

We just have to get the reps in in a competition sitting for you to get more comfortable . It's a graded exposure , right ?

So , like I know that there is definitely 20% probably of that situation , which is , like I know you don't want to compete this because you're nervous , because you hate beam , but you have a great series , it's totally safe , we just have to do it . We just have to get in the competition setting . If you , if it doesn't go perfect , you fall off , that's fine .

We just have to get the reps and of warming up in a meet and doing it to me , and over time , it's better .

Personally , though , when you get to the situation of , well , we have to compete for this meet on Saturday , coming up , it's like okay when a parent or a gymnast or a coach , all is like pushing really hard to say we have to compete , and you're like why ? Why do we have to compete right now ? Why do we have to do bars ?

Do three events and just don't have an all around score for the first couple of meets and get your technique better for a month , and then we'll do it or we'll change your routine .

It all comes down to the fear of judgment , fear of social judgment .

So you have to do the work as a parent , as a coach , as a gymnast , before meet season to not let that stuff sting you right To not care about other people's opinions and what TikTok says , but your path towards getting your bars to be safe and clean , like that is the more work that I think needs to happen before , but that is like 80% of cases I see .

I'm like why can't ? Like your chin is on fire , why can't we take two weeks off ? Like well , I have to compete . It's like , dude , it's November , is January and you're a sophomore . There's no way like we have to push this this hard . So I think from the mental side and physical it happens together .

But it all comes down to the cultural and the social stuff that if you accept like okay , it's just not ready , and like we'll be ready in two months , like that's okay , like that's fine , like we'll get there , it's a big sigh of relief for the gymnast sometimes .

And I think , okay , if they've got three beautiful events , they can feel so confident competing and they have one skill that their brain is currently freezing them up on , even though they're totally capable of doing it , how does that increase confidence to then , you know , mom paid for the hotel , mom paid for the meet fees , mom's mad Uh , the kid is left out .

There's this social ostracization . They don't get to go . They I mean talk about threats to the brain . The brain is then like I'm not good enough , I don't fit in . All the adolescent wants in life is to fit in . That's the number one driving factors to feel like you're part of something and so then you're being removed from it because there's this one skill .

So then that creates all this emotional energy around that one skill , which makes that feel even more threatening . But I do want to mention there was one thing that you said like the kids who just sort of like chill and practice , don't really want to throw skills , don't really want to do it , and then they go to , they go to meets .

I want to touch on this because there is a really big misconception around motivation versus fear . Now , if a kid that's typically the kid who's very highly capable of doing these skills . They've done them before For me . I had one beam with this stupid back walkover , but then I couldn't do it in practice because I was terrified .

So I didn't know how to communicate . I would just . Basically my coach was like go do five on a high beam , Rebecca , and I'd get up there and I'd be like okay , I'm going to do this , you know , I'm going to , I got this , I got . I was like you know , psych myself up . Okay , I'm going , I'm going , I'm going , Can you give me a countdown ?

They give me a countdown . I didn't go Give me another countdown . Okay , I'm good , I'm good , I'm good , Someone needs the beam ? Ah , okay . Then I get up and I'm like I got this . And then boom , I hit a wall . It's like I physically can't make myself go .

So I get off the beam , I let someone else go and I'm like okay , I don't know how to communicate . I actually don't know what is happening or what I need . If somebody asked me , what are you afraid of ? I would say I don't know . All I know is it's not working .

But then , from the coach's perspective , you've got 13 kids on beams and you see that this one hasn't done a single back walkover all day , Like , what are you doing ? This is the skill that you need , and if you don't do it , I don't know what to tell you . Meanwhile , the kid's like , oh yeah , I'm going to go , I'm going to go .

And then they get up there . Same thing they don't go , they hop off , or they they freeze . And then the 20 minutes has gone by and not a single back walkover has happened . So it's easy to think like that kid in the in the chalk bin at bars is just not trying .

But what's actually happening for this type of kid is that they feel completely stuck , they don't know what to do and they're just wanting the clock to run out so they can go to an event where they can do stuff , sure . So it's easy to be like they're choosing not to go . I hear that so much .

They're not , they're not trying , they're there , she's refusing to do it . But that implies more of an element of choice , where this is a subconscious thing , that they're hitting a physical , mental wall that they don't know how to climb , and in that moment they need an intervention . But they don't know what it is , and neither does the coach .

So everybody's just like , oh , the kid's not trying .

You can clearly see they're like having a tough time and they care about it . I think that's the person we're talking about , which is someone's like . Okay , we just need to find a different angle technique . Something needs to change because this is not working . I think the maybe it's not even 20 , it's 10 of kids .

They're like , literally just like social butterflies and they , oh yeah , I just don't have my skills and like whatever , I'm just not going to compete and it's like , okay , well , like why are you here ? Like , cause we have stuff to do and like , I understand you're , you're don't have these skills .

But yeah , maybe there's a delineation there between , like , the person who is social butterfly , distracting , avoiding any work , like the plague , cause they just want to be there and socialize , and they're distracting to the kid that is really having a tough time . You can see they're frustrated and they want to fix it , it's just not happening , so yeah .

So that's why the most important thing kids can learn to deal with fear is how to communicate .

Like , what order , gymnast , coach , parent who should we talk about first ?

. So let's say you've got a kid who , kid they can tumble , and all of a sudden they can't . Like I can't flip , I'm freezing up , I'm balking , or I'm running past the vault , or you know , like whoa , where are your skills ?

Typically , the first thing the coaches do is they are like try harder , do more , try harder , go , you're fine , you don't need a spot , you don't need a mat , just do the skill . And if that's happening more than a couple of times , like I , like a two balk rule .

If you are balking twice on something , it means that your brain is sending you a message that you don't feel ready yet today . It doesn't matter , you did it yesterday , it doesn't matter , you one beam with it . We have to take it one day at a time and get right in the moment and go okay , what can you do ? This is my favorite question .

I want kids to ask themselves this question . I want coaches to ask their kids what can you do ? Instead of what are you afraid of which they don't know , what can you do ? So for me I would be like I don't know because I wasn't very self-aware , but I don't know because I wasn't very self-aware , but then my coach could be like can you go ?

Can you go do a couple of pretty ones on the low beam ? Yes , I can . Okay , what if we stuck a couple mats under the beam ? Do you think you could go ? Yeah , I could probably go . So those are . You want to ?

Instead of focusing on the problem and what's not working , and try to push harder on what's not working , find something that will work because that's going to give them that experience of . Find something that will work because that's going to give them that experience of . Oh , I just did a back walk over on a beam . That felt safe .

Okay , I can do this , and that ups confidence . So there's this huge fear of taking steps back . It's like coaches don't want to do it . We have been doing this for 900 months . You do not need a spot , you don't need a mat blah , blah , blah . This for 900 months , you do not need a spot , you don't need a mat blah , blah , blah .

But it's the most efficient way to get a kid going on the surface . You want them on is to say , where can you do it ? And you go , fire off a few good , safe , consistent ones and everyone takes this huh , this exhale , and then you're back to where you were . So that I mean the second that a kid can go . Ooh , I'm feeling off today .

I think I need a little extra support . I'm going to go and talk to my coach before I start doing these and the coach is like okay , let's do that drill , Sure , I will stand there for you . It's like not rocket science . And then the kid has a positive experience and then off they go .

This is literally how you eliminate mental blocks in a gym is by helping kids learn what do I need right now and encouraging them to tell coaches .

And then coaches are open-minded and it doesn't mean that your 15 year old is now running your workout and choosing every drill they ever do , but it means that they're like coach , I really want to be able to do this , but I I feel like I need to start on tumble track today , or I think if I did one of these over here I'd feel a lot better .

And then the final piece is coach says okay , go for it , or that Matt's not available . What if we do this instead ?

And you're like , okay , like what are you scared of ? Like name name for me , exactly what you're scared of . Like I'm scared of hitting my shins on the bar and dumping it to my head and then being really embarrassed in front of everybody with giant shin bruises . You go , you know what . I'd be nervous about that too .

You know like that's definitely a nerve wracking thing . And I think in the coach's lens , when you're trying to offer solutions , you say like okay , well , like , how would you hit the bar ? Like tell me what would have to happen for you to hit the bar .

And you it's an educational process Like , well , I'd have to have to close my shoulders a lot , I'd have to not tap at all and just do the scoop and dump and I'd probably have to have my head just whipping out like crazy . I got very , very accurate . That's exactly how you hit the bar right . So the opposite of that . How do you not hit the bar ?

Like well , I should probably keep my ears covered . I should probably tap really hard in the back . I should look at my toes when I let go . You're like , brilliant , those are great drills that we can work on and you send somebody to your point , to a level of success that they can have .

For some kids that's going to be literally just like three separate drills and then at one version that's on a low bar . For some kids it's it's the low mat , like okay , I got to keep my ears covered , I got to watch the end of the beam .

I have to really make sure I push my shoulders open and you get technical cues that are for the reason that they are scared and those become the things that they can use to build up that ladder .

It might go all the way back down to literally a tumble track back handspring until they do 15 of them right where over the course of three days , they feel confident . Then it's the medium beam all the way back up and you're moving up and down .

But I think those technical reasons for why somebody might be fearful and how to correct those is a nice I don't know a combined union between what the gymnast feels and what a coach thinks needs to happen for it to go away . So I totally get that perspective as a coaches .

But , like , if you have this just murky , ambiguous , sometimes it's like , well , I actually don't know what I'm afraid of and they don't name what they're afraid of . It's hard to help sometimes . You know , and that's just my perspective from a gymnast and coach . I'm not sure if that's accurate or you feel differently about that .

There's always something missing and it's usually the part that's scary . They actually don't even draw it , like it's the part where they go , where they let go . It's like that's not there , and then they're just landing Like there's this missing part of the framework in their mind .

So then I'm like , okay , hold on , let's finish the drawing , let's get all the pieces . What's , what is your ? What are your shoulders doing ? Where's your head ? And they're drawing their little stick figures . And I go , great , okay , now we have a full blueprint of what this skill is supposed to be . Circled apart , that's feels sketchy .

Show me exactly what feels out of control , or like you don't know what you're going to do , or you lose the image in your mind and then that's essentially the section they need to drill . I mean , that's like exactly what you just said . You're like , okay , and what happens is , if you have an incomplete mental blueprint , like you have been .

We've learned this skill , you've done a million drills , your brain has built this blueprint and then a section kind of goes missing . That's like the brain's , it's like I don't trust this .

So we're going to delete this section , we're going to freeze up right here so that you don't have to be in danger of the unknown over there in that incomplete mental blueprint . So those blank spots get full of feelings .

That's where , like , it feels weird , it feels off , I , I , it feels scary , I feel anytime that there's feelings entering the skill that means there's a piece missing . So they get in there , they drill that you know , let go and drop . They do that low bar flyaway where the coach is getting them over . They get extremely clear on what should my body be doing .

They look at videos of themselves and coaches like , no , not this , this . Then they build out that blueprint and they can focus in on the technique . So there's no room for all those feelings . But it takes both the awareness and then also the drills and the patience and the low bar to get that blueprint built back up .

But that's why sometimes kids who have done a skill for five years can't do it and that's why they have to go back to square one , because they have to fix their blueprint .

It doesn't quite feel as smooth as it should , like there's something going on for a billion different reasons , but there's one part of this triangle that's self-awareness . There's a second part of this triangle that's good communication to a coach or to other people about like okay , I just need , I need something different today . I need to try this ladder today .

I need to like kind of pivot this a little bit today . And the third part is that you have to actually take action and do some sort of technical work or drill or skill , or maybe it's like five here , five here instead of all 10 over here , or something like that .

It sounds like there's kind of like three components to that of like what does a gymnast do if they're struggling with this ? Like fear , anxiety , mental block right now , is there anything you would change about that or add about that ?

and whatever . But the key here is that you start at point a , which is not what you should be able to do or what you need to be able to do by next week , or what you used to do or what your friend is doing . It's literally what can you do ? What's the hardest progression you can do right now , confidently .

So I'm looking for like a seven out of 10 on the confidence scale where they're out of their comfort zone but they're successful consistently . They're not balking . If they're freezing up twice , they're pushing too hard .

It's time to back up and you find that sweet spot , which is a daily sweet spot , because an adolescent's confidence is a moving target and there are a million things that can impact confidence . So you show up , you ask what can I do right now ? What's my seven out of 10 on the confidence scale ? Go , make 10 and then move on . Repeat tomorrow .

But a framework that's been very successful for us on the fear side a fear mental block side , but also just like the performance side is using this framework of like macro , micro and daily goals . I like your point . I'm a huge fan of like gymnast autonomy . Like I'm here to help you reach your goals .

I am just like along the ride with you in a shared partnership . I am not doing it for you . I'm not telling you what to do because I want you to like this is your goal and your desire . I am helping you along the way and I'm getting paid to give you my advice on what I think the best path forward is there .

But using like the autonomy is like what is your goal ? Okay , your goal is to get to college , which means you probably want to Yurchenko layout at least Right . So , like that is your goal . And whatever years you can break that down into like macro or macro goals , into micro goals per week , it's like okay , well , the rule is that I have to .

I have to do seven on a hard setting by myself to compete that to then get colleges to look at me Right , it's like , okay , well , that is the goal . The daily goal then requires three of each each day , and then also these three drills that I know help me with these technical things I'm nervous about .

I have to be committed to doing those every single day and I'm a big fan of , like , the autonomy piece . You told me this was your goal . I'm helping you get there , but there's a very objective way to track that and to kind of help natural consequences of actions . I'm a big fan of that .

So it's like you look back if the vault goes super duper well , and you look back on the four weeks of head no-transcript , do maybe one or two minimum per day . And I was kind of spotting you . That's why we got the bars and you melted down , because we have haven't had those basic steps every single day to build our ladder up of success .

So that three prong framework I like to teach the gymnast and say this is what needs to happen for you to get to these little baby steps , to have those micro wins , to then feel like you're accomplishing something on the longterm . So that's another like coaching practical tip , but I feel like we're going to move into that side anyways .

Okay , what , what numbers did we do ? What drills did we do , how , how , what percentage was your effort at ? From my perspective , I'm like oh , you had a great meet , awesome . How did you set yourself up for success ? Because a lot of the time on the mental side , kids are like I just randomly got afraid , I randomly did great .

I randomly did terrible and I'm like hold on , nothing is ever random in gymnastics . It just isn't , because you can always track it back to . You had an awesome meet because you were running late . You were worried more about mom being late and being mad at her than you were about your beam warmup .

You came in , you knocked out your warmup , you got up and you went before you even knew what happened and you killed it . Great , let's figure out why . Why was that useful ? Oh , you weren't thinking about your competition whatsoever . You were distracted , which allowed you to not do the thing you typically do in a meet , you know .

So , for example , you just you look back and go okay , the great performance that I had , what were some of the clues of what might've set me up for that ? And I'm like throw it all on the paper . You never know what was the thing that worked .

And then I chatted with my grandma and then I couldn't find my phone , which , okay , you weren't on social media . You look at all the things that might have set you up for success and then that's how you start to really conquer performance . Anxiety is that you've learned from the great competitions .

You've learned from the terrible ones how not to set yourself up for success , and then you've got your own little mental game plan . And this isn't superstitious , this is like I know that if I am not thinking about beam and breathing , I give myself two hours to not be in a rush . You know , whatever , everyone's going to have their own cocktail . Yeah .

That's how you get into your kind of peak performance mindset and you and over time , you're always crafting it through successes and failures .

I guess I would say and I'm I'm kind of thinking back to college I had horrific performance anxiety when I was in high school and going to college and then I didn't really compete much until college but then I did get a shot my like sophomore year and I'm trying to think about it because , like that , that was like the meat of my life and I think you're

right , I think by that age maybe I had matured , I was like 18 or no . I just knew what I needed on the day of a meet to get in my zone , Right , like I think you'll see a lot of people sleep before and like feeling yourself well as a side competition .

But like I'm up at a very early time on a meet day , even though my meets not till five , I'm up at like seven or eight , getting up , going around , you know , going for a walk , getting food , whatever , and then I think it's like this pre ritual , right , like okay , a couple hours before I'm going to shower , I'm going to lay out on my back together .

So I'm not rushing around , I'm actually just going to shoot the shit with my friends for an hour . I'm not going to think about warming up , we're going to like just joke . We're going to hang out team warmup Like we're very loose , we're very relaxed , and then maybe like an hour before I have a floor , warmup I have to do . This is open .

Obviously it's not like a rotation touch , but it's like I have to do five of this past , five of this past my corners . Like I do the exact same warmup and the exact same order on every single event , every single time , and I disappear for 30 minutes and that's what I would do . I would like put my headphones on before the meat walkout .

I'd find 30 minutes to buy myself . You may not have 30 minutes if you're a high school gymnast , but I just need music . I need like my zone , I just need like by myself time and it's not like negative . I I'm going to salute national anthem , take my headphones off and go right away and first .

Like that's just my routine , so I never thought about it till right now , but like that is what worked for me , but that can be completely different for somebody else . You know what I mean .

, it goes back to that . There is no one size fits all mental strategy for kids , like you know . Some people are like , oh well , he does the music thing , so I better do the music thing . Right , but you actually might need to be chatting with your friends before you go . Some high anxiety kids . I tell them find a designated chatting buddy .

Yeah , you can just talk about the leotards , talk about the snacks and talk about the anything that's sort of light and fluffy and funny . You know , hang out with the funny friend . If you're too serious and then you're just stressing and imagining everything that could go wrong , get yourself a good , positive distraction .

But any of these suggestions we're giving might not apply to you . That's why I always say , like , go to the data . Take the data that you have collected over your years of competing . Look back over your three best performances and your three worst . Figure out the patterns , figure out what works . Then go try it at the home meet . See how it goes .

If it doesn't work and it backfires , awesome . You have new data that can help you to craft the perfect performance routine . And then you try it again . And also you try it at practice . So if you're going to do the music thing for 30 minutes before a meet . I would say you're doing that in the car on the way to practice too ?

Yeah , because if you want what you're doing in practice to translate to what you're doing in competition , you you need to make it as similar as possible on all fronts so that you can just let the train leave the station , and just what you always do .

Do you want to talk to somebody about gymnastics and technique and scores and be in it right in the trenches , but you need to talk about , like , the latest Taylor Swift album and the drama that's going on . That's nothing related to your routine , right ? But also , I think music is a big one too .

A lot of people listen to music but , like , some people like to listen to like , heavy , amped up , rah-rah music and some people that's not good for them because it gets them too riled up and maybe it's events , but I don't know why .

I just thought of this , but I was training for a long distance run and I used to listen to really heavy rock music and I would overrun my pace and I would blow up Like for all the miles at my pace . So , like , maybe , maybe that like amped up , rah rah , heavy metal music is not good for you if you're going up and you're too too riled up man .

Train , adjust my , my mindset , try again . And so these little check-ins just to see how is my mental and physical training landing and what do I need to adjust .

Like , what is my school work week look like leading up to a meet ? Like what is the Monday through Thursday If I have a Friday meet ?

Like is there a way that I can talk to teachers , get homework ahead of time so that , like Thursday night , I'm not doing anything , I don't have any work to do , I'm playing a board game with my family and I'm not even on this vibe , right ? And my meal ? Like prepping some snacks that I'm . Do I have snacks for the day before class ?

Like all that kind of stuff . What am I eating before the meat Do ? I know it's going to feel me well Like I think all that stuff is really important and something that , um , I don't know who told me this , but um , two weeks prior to whenever your meat time is , you should wake up at the same time and do the same routine .

It takes two weeks to acclimate . So if you at 11 o'clock for a 12 o'clock practice , you know you need to get your butt out of gear at eight in the morning the two weeks prior and do something until practice at 11 . So your body acclimates to doing gymnastics at eight 30 in the morning .

You know I bombed so many meets cause they were such early mornings and I was not acclimated or ready at all . So , like all those things like what am I doing the night before ? What am I doing , you know , for my wake up time , I think those things are all really important to help buffer some of that stress level , you know .

It's like no , I'm just going to do the thing that I do and I don't have to stress .

You already know I'm going to eat carbs , I'm going to eat protein , I'm going to like , whether you're in a hotel or you're at your house , you , you sort of know like this is the routine and you just do it without making a whole bunch of last minute decisions . Then you reflect against self-awareness , which awareness is the absolute foundation of confidence .

When it's too strict , it has to be this exact thing at this exact moment , with this exact food , at this exact time , like I feel , like I know some capital A type A's and if they don't have their like one bar 13 minutes before , it's like oh my God , the wheels fall off .

We borderline superstition , of course , but like is there a screwing too tight problem that people have sometimes ?

And I'm like okay , bro , what if the world runs out of blueberries ? Will you never swim again , will you not be able to race ? He's like well , I mean like , so you want to consider what is it about the blueberry muffin ? That's helpful , okay , you got . You got carbs , you got a solid dose of carbs . So could that potentially come in the form of a bagel ?

You know , could that be if the hotel doesn't have blueberry muffins , can you still be okay ? So I , you know , if the kids are like I need my lucky pants , because I had those lucky pants in my bag when I did really well , I'm like well , what did the pants do for you ? Oh , I guess I just didn't need to worry because I knew I had my favorite pants .

Or there was this one meet where I didn't have my favorite pants . I had to wear the uncomfortable ones after , or whatever . You kind of get below it and go well , what does it do for you ? And how can you create that in a different way or be flexible on on the big day If something you know isn't exactly how you planned it , that way you figure out .

This is what I need and I'm in control of it , and I can get the result from plan A , b or C .

I'm just sitting , I'm enjoying time with my family , I'm just like chilling out . So maybe it's the carbs as a category and an hour of time as a category is what you need , Not like , you know , a blueberry muffin in this chair at my house .

I'm going to take three deep breaths , I'm going to hum my favorite song in my head and off I go . So that's even part of a pre-performance routine .

Is having sort of the like , the mini version , right For if you can't do the whole thing , what are the key things that you know are really setting you up for success and you make sure to zero in on those .

But what other things are , from the coaching point of view , either mistakes you see made or things you recommend , or advice to people who are on the user end of helping this kid through ?

I mean , I think mental blocks is a separate topic that we've touched on well , and we talked about it here , but more so competition anxiety , because that's really what we're dealing with here is kids that are more or less just getting nervous about the fact that , like , they have to do a routine , they have to show , they have to be in front of a large crowd

. So , from the coaching side , what are some things that they can do ?

Those are the ones that get timid . They get , they hold back , they get shaky . That was me , you know , convulsing on the beam with nerves because I was so terrified of making a mistake . We're coaches , if you can line it out like .

We are here to be excellent , we are here to show off everything we've been working hard on , and mistakes are allowed on one condition Failure is legal on one condition we will learn from it . On one condition Failure is legal on one condition we will learn from it .

And if you make that commitment as a team that sometimes we fall , sometimes we make mistakes , sometimes we , you know , mount the beam backwards after a soccer game in a hundred degree weather , and you know things , things happen , and we're never going to be like on the on the sideline being like that was terrible .

We're going to be like , okay , let's take a breath , let's cheer on your team . And then our job is to find the wisdom in this moment and apply it in practice . And if kids can know that failure is not only allowed but actually encouraged , like Katie Ledecky , for example , one of the world's best swimmers she , her coaches call her .

They say she fails spectacularly , but that's one of the the biggest things that they're impressed about her is that she fails hard and often because she's always pushing herself to the point of failure , which is what makes her great . So then she learns okay . Okay , that's my edge , got it . So if kids can go , it's okay to make mistakes .

As long as I then take that valuable nugget of wisdom of oh , I have to square my hips on my cartwheel , on the beam , okay , I'm going to go to the gym and square my hips , like my life , depends on it . And that becomes a really valuable experience that makes you better at your next meet .

And if you can know that if you do great , you learn , you figure out what , how to set yourself up for that Again . If you do not so great , you learn how to not do that again , then you don't have to be terrified of it . You just know no matter what happens , I'm going to learn and I'm going to get better .

So , like I I was a big fan and I think the athletes I work with and myself when I was also training is like I need to know for a month of like , what is the next four weeks , looking like before the meet comes and being able to map out like okay , monday is half routines and skills , tuesday we're doing full routines . Wednesday is half routines .

Thursday we're not here . Friday is a show day . So we're like you have to give kids the whole plan in advance so they can prepare and know what's going on and you can allow for a lot of moments to safely fail and learn and correct . Then you say like okay , and then the fourth week is our first meet .

So like , wherever we're at with that , that's what you're doing at the , at the meet . And then you kind of have that you know some kids do well , some kids don't do well your moments of reflection in the meat . You say like listen , right now can't deal with it . We got to , you know , collect ourselves and get to the next event safely . We'll .

We'll , you know , do a debrief on Monday with everybody and then that next Monday you come in . Maybe you spend the first hour of practice like getting some notebooks out what went well , what didn't go well , what can I work on ? Are there some things I need to audit ? You know where did I get my anxiety ?

Did it was through the roof , on bars and , fine , on floor .

Like I think doing that debrief that Monday after a meet and having a lighter day on a Monday is great , but personally I think the more you can outline the entire month's plan for a kid and tell them routines on this day , half sets on this day , all blah , blah , blah , like that's very , very helpful for people to wrap their head around because they can

understand what's coming down the pike for them .

I did a camp last summer last summer it was like a couple months ago Anyway , we had kids journal after every event , those three questions , and so they carried their journals around with them what went well , what didn't go well , what did I learn ? It takes one minute , maybe two , and they jot down and that and the whole point of that .

I mean I would love for kids to do that after practice every day , after every event , would be incredible . Definitely after every meet . What they're doing is they are starting to identify patterns , what didn't go well and why , and so getting them in that habit .

I mean , if you're open to having your kids do a quick journal after every event , you're going to notice that performance anxiety decreases Because they're more in the . They'll learn that what didn't go well is typically the source of their wisdom for that event and it gives them that real life feedback of oh okay , I did learn something from that .

It wasn't just that I am bad . That's usually the takeaway I had a bad day at bars , the end .

I'm not trying to sell you a product , but I uh I needed a place for people to have , before practice , after practice , what went well . They measure their like , soreness levels , their heart rate , their wellness , their injuries , their recovery . But it's a book that has it all , so don't buy it . If you don't need it , just use a piece of paper .

But I'm just saying something of that nature is good , and we have one from tumble track if you are interested .

But I love that idea of what , what , after each event , and then also at the end of the day and before the day , when you sit down , you start foam rolling , you start doing your stuff , like how sore am I , what's going on and what am I nervous about ?

Am I , do I have to keep in mind when I come back after a day of school and things are super busy .

But he'd look back six months and be like , whoa , I couldn't even do what I did today six months ago . And just have that perspective , that awareness . I mean it sounds tedious , but those , those little habits that you create , just tracking . Tracking , not the okay , all you like perfectionist people .

You don't have to like go track everything in your entire life or else , but just to start a practice of paying attention , whatever that looks like for you , even if it's a debrief with your mom in the car . You know , just having a moment of self-reflection , the awareness that you get from it will directly impact confidence .

And then I think I mean I used to , I have my moleskin too as well but like a training journal for a coach and gymnast together is quite a great thing to have documentation for . I love those plans , okay . So the third in this trifecta is parents .

So the poor parent with their daughter crying at the dinner table , do you want to talk about preventative strategies first and then we'll go into , like , what to do during ?

Um , I mean , it's going to sound cliche , but self-care please . You know , if you find that you are rattling out of your skin and your kid looks at you and you're like I'm fine , and they can tell , oh , my gosh , my mom is freaking out right now , go take a walk outside , you know . Walk a lap around the meat facility . Go get a Starbucks .

Who needs a Starbucks ? I'll be right back . You know , just remove yourself If you find that you are so high anxiety that you're , you know , potentially creating unhelpful sensations in your child . Um , and get , get a hobby , like maybe you are the new team photographer , maybe you are knitting , maybe you bring a book .

You know not what my mom used to do , which is write down every score of every single kid in my age division and then cheer when my uh , my nemesis falls on beam .

Find , find something that you can do , that's other . I mean , in parents you have , you have four , four things that you're responsible for food , hugs , rides , tuition , that's it . And if you are stressed , manage your stress . You know , if you're , if your kid's mental block is driving you insane , then you are part of the problem .

Ah , I said it Because they know how emotionally invested you are . So every time they don't go do their skill , they get in the car with you and they feel like they failed you . If you're just like , hey , buddy , what do you want to listen to and what do you want to eat , then they can have their process in the gym . They can .

They can come and fall apart to you and you'll and you'll be like you're not going to say do you want to quit ? We can give up , it's okay , we don't have to do this if you're not having fun , which just says to the kid my mom doesn't think I can get through this .

They , they cheer me on , they love me , they , you know , they know a lot about gymnastics , but they don't really talk about it that much . You know , like you want to work hard , of course you want to make whatever goal . That's the passion and the love for gymnastics .

But the passion and love for a sport or a job and a self-esteem driver are just so different . You know what I mean . So , like none of their performance , high or low , should make you feel better or worse as a person . And I think sometimes , again back to like .

The first thing we talked about is like a lot of times when I think parents get over invested or not even like in a bad way , but just over involved with the mental blocks , the competition , anxiety , the scores , whatever it comes down to , because they're insecure about social judgment .

They're sitting in the parent stand with their friends and like this person falls or whatever . And because Susie's mom , who's a little bit of a diva , says something about Julie's performance and that Julie's your daughter . You get a little hurt by that and you get upset Like , oh my God , what should I do ? Do I have to fix this ? Blah , blah , blah .

Like so much of it comes down to like you need to be able to stand on your own two feet and have your own self-esteem , regardless of gymnastics . It's just gymnastics , it man . My coach and my parents were just like involved and they wanted what's best for me .

But they were always just like my coach was always there with a handshake , good or bad , like all right , like onto the next one , like we'll , we'll deal with this , we'll get through it . And like I never thought that my coach was was wrapping up his own self-worth and my performance , so there wasn't that pressure for me .

And then , like my mom and my dad were just like I got in the but gymnastics , like how was practice ? That was good , okay , like okay , what do you want to have for dinner ? Like you know , what do you ? What else ? What's going on with school ? Like you want to watch this when we go home .

I think like parents need to be that like safe space , that safe zone of comfort , to not have the drama because they're already stressed out . They're so stressed out about scores and meets and everything . The last thing they want to hear when they come in the car like how was the flippy tumble thing ?

And I was like , good mom , I hit five flippy tumble things . I'm like at meets they had no idea what was going on . They didn't know the score . They just wanted to make sure I was safe and that I had food and that I was good .

Really , where this is coming from , for for most of the parents is I just want her to be happy . I don't want her to be miserable , I don't want her to suffer . So if I see her melting down after a bad beam routine at a meet or if I see her crying in the car , they're like I will do anything to make my baby feel better . And that drive is good .

It is good . Of course , we don't want our kids to suffer , and one of the things that I end up teaching a lot in the Perform Happy Parents community is that we sit with them through the tough thing so that they can learn I can do hard things , I can do hard feelings , I can feel disappointed and survive it , rather than the parent being like .

I will get you off of this bench of disappointment and onto the bench of happiness as quickly as possible . Instead , they just need you to sit with them , yep on the bench and be like buddy . This is hard yes , validate yeah yeah and listen . That's what kids really need .

They need you to just listen and don't fix it , and don't solve it and don't give advice , unless they literally say mom , what should I do ?

But instead you ask them like okay , that's hard . You know , it's crazy how many things in life come down to like damn , that sucks , I'm sorry . Like , but keep going . You know like , so much stuff coming out like damn , that sucks , I'm sorry . Like , that's all people need . Like , sometimes there's no good answer .

and you like tell your partner what happened and they're like well , you know , you should have left earlier .

And , of course , you have to pack the snacks and you know that the kids are going to be frustrated if you get there late and while you really need to pull it together at work so that this doesn't happen to you you'd be like , oh God , you'd be like , oh yeah , now you're on my list , too , where parents are like well , you know , you need , you need to do

this , you need to do that , and if you wouldn't have done that then you would have felt better . It's like no , no , no You're . If your partner's like oh , that's rough , come here , let me give you a hug . Yeah , you hungry , you know , that's what we really want . We don't want people to solve stuff for us were like what should I do Otherwise ?

Just like repeat their words back Like oh , you got stuck in traffic , that's such a bummer . Oh my gosh , no snacks . I've totally been there , come here .

It wasn't like like as soon as I got off pommel horse , like I got like literally so many fives on pommel horse . I was awful at pommel horse , like literally the worst at pommel horse , did good on a couple other events , but like pommels just never happened for me .

He said there and every single one and watched me do shitty circles and get a five for many , many years . But every time I come up he's like hey , man , you know , like that's a bummer , you know onto the next one , and I think that's kind of a big part of what I had .

He didn't come off Like you didn't put your legs together here , you missed your hand on this placement . Well , if you didn't do that , you wouldn't get a five right . Like God , my relationship with him would have go to whatever rings you know right now . Absolutely I never thought that clicked until right now .

Hey , all right , tony from Connecticut , tony Perino , anywho . Okay , so we have some . I think we covered a lot of good stuff here , I think . Is there anything else before we have a couple of community questions from Instagram to ask you .

So this is a kid who , like , did their series all summer and summer practice , no issues . But as soon as it starts going into routine or skill combinations , it seems like the wheels are starting to fall off . So I thought this was a good question because it's obviously different than someone who has a straight up mental block on one .

I mean , it could be a thousand different things . So the I mean you want to ask them that question . Well , what can you do ? So if they start , they get up and they're trying to do routines and it's just not working and they've tried a couple , it's not working I would say where can you do it ? Can you go do a routine on the low beam ?

Sam Pesek , for example she used to go into gym and be terrified of beam . She had this love hate relationship with beam and she her coach would basically like say okay , well , what do you ? What do you need to do here ? She first of all knew she was having an off day . She went to her coach and said can I do four times the assignment on the low beam ?

So her teammates are making five , she's making 20 on low , and not to say you should be like beating your body up necessarily but also a component of safety .

But you figure out what's the version of it , the hardest version of it that you could do right now , and you hit numbers on that and , most importantly , take the spotlight off the deadline and get into today . Today is where you can make progress . If you're focused on two weeks from now , the threat increases , the confidence drops .

So start with what can you do and then improve from there . And I know you're like but we have a deadline , I know , but if you can find a place where they can be successful , like , okay , can they do the series with a pause in between ? I know blasphemy , it's not what you're looking for .

But then the next one , they close the series with a pause in between . I know blasphemy , it's not what you're looking for . But then the next one , they close the pause a little , they close the pause a little , they close the pause a little , and then they're doing it right just back it up . I mean , that's the answer , really that I .

. I think another one that practically worked for me too is like , if dismounts are oftentimes an issue where someone's doing a double for the first time or is doing a new pass for floor Like , um , it has to upgrade , or something like that Like that is often very , uh scary is to get really tired and then have to do a dismount and have to do whatever .

So having someone do 90% of their bar routine and then run over to a pit bar and do their dismount into a pit , and the next time it's with one mat and then two mats , then you stack it up and then it's does you know , stands there to a double , then stands on the low , uh lowest position with a low mat .

You can build a way up to some of those harder passes . Or they do their entire floor routine but their last passes into a stacked resi , for example , or something like that . I think it helps to reduce the error rate of possibility like that .

If their brain is throwing up stop signs , if you force it or push it or try to make them just do it , that is going to set them back versus just go hit a couple on an easier progression . Get reassurance and they're good to go . Prevents all kinds of drama .

Realistically , at post COVID , 25% of kids were hitting clinical levels of depression and anxiety 25% . So that means out of 12 kids on beam you've got four kids who are probably struggling with anxiety or depression at a potentially clinical level . So I mean , I would say it can create anxiety for sure , this sport .

But if you have the right support like what I said to this coach was well , if you think there's anxiety , go to the , have them , you know , check with their pediatrician and figure out what the pediatrician recommends .

Like I'm not a doctor so I can't tell anyone what to do about an anxiety disorder , but then if they have a voice they're going to be able to do anything that they need to do .

A lot of the time the anxiety that we see in the gym is related to kids feeling like they don't have a voice and coaches being like , well , that's just her anxiety and there's nothing I can do about it and it's her problem , versus just going what can you do ? What is possible for you right now ?

And I think this question also kind of it's got a little twinge of fixed mindset of you can't like you're . For me I was too tall and too old so I couldn't be successful in gymnastics , which is I . It became a self fulfilling prophecy and I quit at age 14 , at like five feet tall . I wasn't even that tall , but I was like I'm too tall , so I yeah .

If you , if you go in and you're like , oh well , I'm too scared to be a gymnast , you're going to be right . But if you have the right resources , if you have the right support , if you have a , an environment where you feel emotionally safe to speak up when things feel scary , you can a hundred percent be successful in the sport .

You're very anxious all the time of just everything starts to bleed over , but until you have a pause and step back , like what is actually the root level of my fear , and it's like , well , I'm scared of getting hurt and I'm scared of falling in front of a bunch of people Like , okay , well , that's much more tangible .

There are probably some things that we can do specifically for those that might help the surface level rumble . That's just my true sense .

I do hard things I can share scary things .

And then there's the um , the , the mental anxiety , the cognitive anxiety and physical activation , and you know , all of that can be highly supportive of great performance . Your adrenaline , your focus narrows in , supportive of great performance . Your adrenaline , your focus narrows in . But the worry is what's actually negatively correlated with with um results .

So if your body is highly activated , there's no correlation between good or bad performances . It's when you're worried about it that it becomes a problem . So , if you can , you know and I love to do this with kids where I'm like we're going to like feel okay , what does excitement feel like ? What do you feel like when you're going up a rollercoaster ?

Oh , my heart beats and I get tense and I get a little sweaty and I hold on tight and I and , and then I go raise your hand if you love that , and they like half of this . So if you go in and you're like , ooh , the excitement is happening , I'm so excited , I can feel my body getting ready to compete . This is so awesome .

Just reframing the physical sensation can make it facilitative , can make it a very helpful thing .

He was sought as like the most stone , cold , stoic , bad-ass , just robotic , uh level of focus , and he was like no man .

I dry , heave in the corral , like I'm so nervous , I'm like , but I've just learned that this is me and , to your point , there's other athletes that reframe that as like , well , this is my body getting ready to do something hard to do something . I need this to be at my optimal performance .

I don't need to be like spiraling out of control , but like this , this is good , this is me gearing up for , like you know , a tough thing Like this is this is what I'm meant for , this is what I trained for , this is what I'm . I think that positive reframe sometimes helped me , too , as well .

I didn't get it as much with college , but I've spoken to some very large crowds . It's a pretty high tense situations around . You know gymnastics things and before , like hell , yeah , I'm nervous , like you know what I mean . These people are like it's like an entire national team from a country , like , yeah , I'm nervous , it's like , but this is what I'm .

I'm shocked . So that experience though taught me oh , that's just like what it feels like before I speak , and then I'll do great . So , knowing that this is just what it feels like for me , I have my little pre-performance routine . I feel activated , I do great . And then I call my husband and he laughs yeah .

And then I call my husband and he laughs yeah .

Like I'm gonna get there an hour early , I'm going to set my or whatever , but I block off time to be by myself , to have my social battery recharged before I go back into the world . So for adults or coaches like I mean , I had dude , I had huge anxiety as a coach too , I think when we had girls start qualifying for nationals .

I was more nervous than they were . So I would have to have my own little like pre and post routine to keep myself on a level head . So like , yeah , I get it , I totally get it .

Um , okay , last one , how do you uh we talked about most of the things here but how do you help get gymnast confidence back after an injury ? So whatever you think , and then I'll obviously weigh in on the medical side .

So I look at injuries and mental blocks very similarly and it's actually easier , I think , to ease in after an injury because there's some physical representation , like there's a wrapped ankle , there's a brace , there's something that the coach can see that reminds them oh , we've got to ease in , we have to go through the progressions , we've got to test the water ,

make sure this feels safe , check in with each other and with a mental block it's the same way where you have to ease in , figure out what you can do , test the water , but it's confusing for people to do that where it's . I mean , it's literally the exact same thing . You have a dip in confidence and you , you come from this place of total self awareness .

The athlete has to really be empowered , though , because I remember so many times I'd be like what are you doing over there as a coach ? And they're like I'm injured . I'm like just kidding , You're fine , Okay , Nevermind , but I do that like once a day I'd be like why are you there ? Why are you sitting there ? What's happening ?

And they're like I'm modifying , Like oh yeah , forgive me . So I'll tell kids like wear the hot pink brace so that the coach remembers that you're modifying , so that they're not thinking that you're just doing weird stuff on the side .

But so again , it comes down to communication , where you've got to open the open the lines of communication , Like , okay , kid , this is on you to not be a hero , to show me what you can do . We're not going to I'm not even putting you on a high beam for two weeks because I'm not worried about that for you .

We're just going to get , get confidence up where , where you feel safe , and we're going to ease in . Baby steps are key . The smaller the baby steps the better , because it's a really easy ladder to climb .

Like all of these , things need very small baby step progressions where you are comfortable at a level where you're at now , but then you are slightly exposed or stressed over what you're capable of , and then you back off and you see how you respond .

If good , a little bit more the next time , and that's that's what , like any good physical therapy program , is Right , and so I'm a big fan of giving people on the PT side very in-depth training programs that stress them more than they would get in basic gymnastics . To make it like a confidence thing .

Like somebody sprains their ankle , I want to see you doing like single leg bounding , hurdle hops on concrete in our gym before I let you go to tumble track , because I know that that is significantly less force than tumble track and you'll be successful into that .

First thing of you know whatever it is for your injury and so , having very specific , detailed plans of like we're going to do five of these and five of these and five of these three days apart , see how you feel the next day and bump things up as you go over the course of two weeks and then we're going to monitor for negative signs , right .

We know what a normal response to training is You're kind of sore , you're kind of tired . It goes away in a day , but abnormal is pain , right . So then obviously , on the mental side , abnormal would be like a giant anxiety spike where you're freezing again .

Well , okay , we got to push it too much , we had to go back a bit and work our way up the ladder . I think they have much more overlap than people think . But yeah , we have like pain and physical .

You know science , and then we have , you know emotional science and you know some anxiety spikes that are both symptoms of pushing the rails a bit too much , but baby steps all the way back up .

I'm going to be on the floor with them at level 10 nationals , like no . But for now , when you have this overprotective brain , post-injury or post any kind of big confidence dip , give them what they need , just give them what they need and trust that . Then the coach , it's your job to get them out of their comfort zone .

So when you know we're in comfort , like it is time to stretch . But it's also okay to go back and that's all part of the process , doesn't mean anybody's doing anything wrong .

Like they don't work the same way as fricking David Goggins or something like that , right ? So don't read books about David Goggins and think your kids are going to just be superheroes . Like they are kids who are growing , they have open growth plates , they're sensitive to stuff . Like it's a lot different than the 20 plus year old college kid .

Then , finally , they took the pack out and she was like so relieved , but she kept working . She'd get it and lose it , and get it , and lose it , and get it and lose it , and they just would keep working back through the progressions and there's nothing wrong .

But you know , same for her as it is for the 12 year old on a back walkover .

We could again go another two hours right now , but in the essence of both of our days , um , so at the time this comes out that you have something doing in , you know , in true nervous November , fashion I always like to put out education .

So they can show up , it'll be on zoom , they'll be able to ask me tons of questions and I'm going to give them super actionable , quick exercises that they can do to work through their fears . It's called the fearless gymnast . And then day three is for the parents .

So we're going to do a live training for parents how , like , what not to do , exactly how to help you do have a role in their fear . So I'll go through exactly what I've taught parents and perform happy to do to help their kids . That's really working and um , and then I'll do Q and a at the end .

So if you have any any struggles with your kid , I'm happy to answer those . So it'll be three days in November , and if you can't attend live because your schedule is crazy obviously everybody's is though there will be a replay . So register anyway and we'll make sure that you've got that's great .