How Does Proximity Affect Perspective? | Episode 148 - podcast episode cover

How Does Proximity Affect Perspective? | Episode 148

Jul 03, 202517 min
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Episode description

In this episode of "The Self Talk Experience," Darnell and Traci delve into the influence of proximity on perspective and personal growth. They discuss the powerful impact of surrounding oneself with inspiring individuals and exploring environments that encourage growth!

They'll unpack the importance of :

  • Investing in Yourself:
  • Encouragement to make sacrifices to be around impactful individuals who push you towards your goals.
  • Discussion on the importance of being "in the room" to experience and understand growth opportunities firsthand.
  • Self-Talk:
  • The significance of positive self-talk and its effect on attracting opportunities and people.
  • Shifting from “I have to” to “I get to” as a way to change outlook on tasks and responsibilities.
  • Breaking Through to the Next Level:
  • Strategies for getting out of comfort zones and embracing challenges.
  • Stories of personal growth through changing environments and experiences.
  • Reflecting on Past Experiences:
  • The balancing act of learning from past struggles without becoming overshadowed by them.
  • Importance of healing and inspiring others from a place of wholeness.

and so much more!


Connect with us on social media.

https://www.instagram.com/darnell_self

https://www.instagram.com/traciself

https://www.instagram.com/theselftalkexperience/



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Transcript

[SPEAKER_00]: be in a space of those who are doing what you want to do, who are thinking like you want to think, who are speaking like you want to speak, is better to be around those people if you can find a way to be around those folks. [SPEAKER_00]: Invest in yourself, sacrifice if you have to, but get around those who are heading where you want to go. [SPEAKER_02]: Getting those rooms.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're a goal-gitter, faith-driven and family-focused, and need to break due to your next level, this is the podcast for you. [SPEAKER_01]: Your self-talk can reshape every area of your life. [SPEAKER_01]: It's time to dream at thing big. [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the self-talk experience. [SPEAKER_01]: With darn hell and Tracy Self, it is time to elevate baby. [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get into the show. [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's up everybody?

[SPEAKER_04]: We are happy to be back in our second [SPEAKER_00]: part of twenty twenty five. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes. [SPEAKER_04]: Did you miss me? [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, welcome back to the cell talk experience where we understand and we coach and encourage people to really pay close attention to the things we're saying to ourselves because seventy thousand plus conversations we have every day are with ourselves. [SPEAKER_04]: I think I have more than that. [SPEAKER_00]: She's a rapper.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's a rapper. [SPEAKER_04]: I get you think I get myself to. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure I'm sure you do. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm positive. [SPEAKER_00]: Listen guys, this is the cell talk experience. [SPEAKER_00]: And our tagline is, hey, look, the things we say to ourselves about ourselves, we're eventually determined what we attract and even who we attract for ourselves. [SPEAKER_00]: So please be very careful with the story you're telling yourself about yourself to yourself.

[SPEAKER_04]: I believe that. [SPEAKER_04]: And sometimes I find myself [SPEAKER_04]: in like a slump some days kind of sluggish trying to get myself together. [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm realizing sometimes I snap myself out of it because I'm saying to myself, I'm so tired. [SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to be at right now. [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't get enough sleep last night. [SPEAKER_04]: Why didn't I go to bed earlier? [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm speaking to myself in this kind of mess of me up a little bit.

[SPEAKER_04]: So now I'm trying my hardest to switch that up a little bit and say, no, no, no. [SPEAKER_04]: You got this. [SPEAKER_04]: This is going to be a great day. [SPEAKER_04]: You're not tired. [SPEAKER_04]: Why would you be tired? [SPEAKER_04]: And sometimes when you say those things to yourself, you almost convince yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I know it's so true.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think one of the keys to self-talk is being around those who are saying one of the things to themselves about themselves. [SPEAKER_00]: And they're saying things that like, well, I have to, they're saying I get to, like I get to work out. [SPEAKER_00]: If you know, I have to sound like a chore or a task. [SPEAKER_00]: and no one wants typically to look forward to a chore or a test.

[SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, I get to means that, man, I feel honored because somebody wants to incant. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, and also, too, baby, that was fun when you said, also the people that you were attracted, who you were around, who you can communicate with and talk to all day, because even in a text message, when I'm talking to my nieces or my daughter, I'll say, good morning, beautiful one, high gorgeous, and when people say that to me, he's like, oh, [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you very much.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes you don't feel that way, but it's nice to be reminded. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I think that's, you know, the episode today, about away again, thank you guys so much for staying plugged into the cell talk experience. [SPEAKER_00]: It's been a few years now, and now we do seasons. [SPEAKER_00]: And so with three months on in season and three months off season and three months back on.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so here we are, July, twenty twenty five, if you're watching this when we first launched it because you launched it every Thursday. [SPEAKER_00]: So every Thursday and two seasons a year. [SPEAKER_00]: So January, February, March, we're on and then all for three months and then back on July, August and September. [SPEAKER_00]: So welcome again, we appreciate your support and hopefully you're seeing a difference and what you're attracting for yourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: And today we thought that we talked briefly about proximity and how it lends to perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: proximity and you know closeness being present and how it lends to perspective because perspective matters. [SPEAKER_04]: We always talk about the power and proximity is like the same thing. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean there's yes and no. [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: So yes there's power and being in an environment, but it also gives you an opportunity to see things in a way you couldn't have seen it if you weren't in that environment. [SPEAKER_00]: You see someone can tell you they can take notes on it, but to experience it is different. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: So we can go like we send our kids on mission strips when they were younger.

[SPEAKER_00]: to experience different parts of the world, different cultures, because three of our kids really grew up with us having money access to finances. [SPEAKER_00]: And if we were careful in putting them into different environments, [SPEAKER_00]: they may think everybody lives like this. [SPEAKER_00]: And I never wanted them to think that they were better because they had more.

[SPEAKER_00]: One of them to think that man, I'm, were blessed because we're in an environment where the opportunities existed for us to take advantage of them. [SPEAKER_00]: And there's certain environments. [SPEAKER_00]: There is no opportunity. [SPEAKER_00]: It's an underserved market with an underserved people that don't have the same opportunities as we do. [SPEAKER_04]: Right, and when you do something all the time, sometimes it's the twisted artifact where you assume everyone.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's exactly right. [SPEAKER_00]: That's the same thing. [SPEAKER_04]: We were talking about just flying on the airplane. [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm used to flying the airplane. [SPEAKER_04]: I've been blessed to be able to travel a lot. [SPEAKER_04]: But what was the percentage of the average person that flies? [SPEAKER_04]: Remember? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't remember the numbers, but it's a small percentage.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: That fly in the large percentage of people who've never been on the plane. [SPEAKER_04]: the larger percentage of people who are frightened. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly. [SPEAKER_04]: They have the chance of opportunity, but they don't feel comfortable doing it, right? [SPEAKER_04]: So, as this is like that where I was talking about, sometimes we think we're at our kind of a bubble.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: And we think that everybody is kind of doing not so well or vice versa. [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, everyone's doing well. [SPEAKER_04]: And you have to be able to kind of [SPEAKER_04]: relate to each one. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: So what I found is exactly what you're saying.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, as we started to really build our business, you know, be leaping in environments where people who had little reminded me of where I had come from. [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was really appreciative of that. [SPEAKER_00]: Not because you want to see people in our position, but being in an environment helps you to feel so grateful and blessed.

[SPEAKER_00]: that you are privileged to think about things that you used to worry about in a way that you could have never imagined that things could be different, so different when you're in that space and everybody you know is in that space. [SPEAKER_00]: So here's what I'm going to say about it. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I was going to ask you this perspective too. [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes when we've struggled in this being really hard and we went through a really trying time.

[SPEAKER_04]: A lot of people block it out once they've come out of it. [SPEAKER_04]: Do you think that's healthy to block it out? [SPEAKER_04]: Or is it better to remember? [SPEAKER_04]: So you can remember how others may feel with their net position. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I can only speak from my own experience. [SPEAKER_00]: And from my experience, it's been good to compartmentalize and put things kind of in a bucket, if you will, so that they don't dominate your thoughts.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't influence [SPEAKER_00]: where I'm supposed to be mentally in that moment. [SPEAKER_03]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: And so sometimes you have to be careful because we're bleeding on people who didn't even cut us.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we're in that place where, you know, we are supposed to be inspiring people, but because we haven't healed through that space that we're talking about and we think we're inspiring, but we got people like sad and depressed like man. [SPEAKER_00]: And so it is because we spoke from a place [SPEAKER_00]: that we hadn't healed from yet, and it doesn't come across the same. [SPEAKER_00]: It is not. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be agreed the same.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, so this whole proximity brings perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: is like imagine if you're half time in a football game. [SPEAKER_00]: I know you're football moms and you relate to this. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Anybody in if you don't watch sports, right? [SPEAKER_00]: So the team goes back into a locker room half time. [SPEAKER_04]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Whether they're willing to lose them, but in this case, let's just say, you know, they need to talk.

[SPEAKER_00]: Say, hello, we can do better when we come back out of the locker room in third quarter. [SPEAKER_00]: And so you had one teammate say, look, I'm gonna go in the locker room and coach will just talk to me. [SPEAKER_00]: Then I'll come back out until you guys would coach told me so we can go out here on the field and take advantage of this third quarter. [SPEAKER_04]: But that's not what they do. [SPEAKER_00]: Versus.

[SPEAKER_00]: You tell me what you think is better, as we haven't talked about this. [SPEAKER_00]: Versus, the whole team going to locker room, coach talking to them, they get to talk about each other like, all right, man. [SPEAKER_00]: So what we're going to do is, and so now it's collaborative. [SPEAKER_02]: The proximity. [SPEAKER_00]: So they're all in the locker room together. [SPEAKER_00]: They're all experiencing the same thing. [SPEAKER_00]: They all picking up the ends of your mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: We better than this. [SPEAKER_00]: We're not given it a thousand percent. [SPEAKER_00]: Rather than somebody trying to come out and say, all right, let me tell you, culture is on one. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you man, what do you say it? [SPEAKER_00]: Is that we all can do better?

[SPEAKER_00]: But it's different when you're in the space in the environment than trying to bring back and try to tell people, you've never tried to tell someone in experience like, oh my gosh, and then you could tell the person's not quite getting this at you to say, had to be there. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm talking about. [SPEAKER_00]: So it gives you perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: It gives you understanding.

[SPEAKER_00]: It gives you a different thought process because you experience it yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: And this is the power being in certain spaces and not just saying you go to church or you go to the convention or you go to [SPEAKER_00]: to the gym, and you know, you work out and then tell me, you know, high goals. [SPEAKER_00]: So you're not going to get muscles that way, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to get fit by sending someone else door to do the work and then bring it back to you, especially if the person at the gym is the trainer. [SPEAKER_00]: The person at the gym is the coach in the mentor. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is supposed to bring that back to person who, you know, one time. [SPEAKER_00]: Right? [SPEAKER_00]: They worked out one time with the coach or with the trainer.

[SPEAKER_00]: And now, they're the trainer going to tell you how to do it. [SPEAKER_00]: That's just not going to work. [SPEAKER_04]: No, no. [SPEAKER_00]: But that's why it gives you a different perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to go get this trainer. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, you have to go to this restaurant. [SPEAKER_00]: Not, hey, I asked them with the ingredients were in that particular entree. [SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm going to cook it for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Typically, if you're not an executive chef, it's not going to come out the exact same way just because you got the ingredients. [SPEAKER_04]: That's true. [SPEAKER_04]: That's very true. [SPEAKER_00]: This is why I do my best to tell folks, and look, if you can be in a space of those who are doing what you wanna do, who are thinking like you want to think, who are speaking like you want to speak, is better to be around those people if you can find a way to be around those folks.

[SPEAKER_00]: Invest in yourself, sacrifice if you have to, but get around those who are heading where you want to go. [SPEAKER_02]: Getting those rooms. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that is key. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying this proximity thing is real, and now I wouldn't know what I realized too. [SPEAKER_03]: What set? [SPEAKER_00]: What I realized too is that sometimes if it's your norm, you don't realize that it's not normal for everybody. [SPEAKER_04]: That's what I said. [SPEAKER_00]: I know.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just saying that you, because you said this, but think about this. [SPEAKER_00]: Like when other people come into your environment, you really start to appreciate when they tell you that. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what you were talking about. [SPEAKER_03]: That's all, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so think about this. [SPEAKER_00]: We first moved to Houston guys, which by the way was this year and our realtor who was amazing was really talking about.

[SPEAKER_00]: Shout out to Nishel. [SPEAKER_00]: So we told her, hey, this is what we're looking for, right? [SPEAKER_00]: This is where we are in this station in our lives. [SPEAKER_00]: This is what we would like, right? [SPEAKER_00]: She was perfect at finding us at the places to look at. [SPEAKER_00]: And so one of the things she said, you know, she won't mind me saying it after she found our property, after she found our spot, she said, thank you guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know you guys are thinking me, but thank you because being around you helped me to think bigger. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, really, what do you mean? [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, I'm just listening to you guys, say, all right, so if we go back to a land and catch a flight and pick up a long shot daughter, and then she could fly with us, and then we can get the kids, we can all go. [SPEAKER_00]: And we weren't saying it because we're talking to each other.

[SPEAKER_02]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not like we were trying to impress anybody, because we were just talking to each other. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, she was ear hustling. [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, she was listening. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm messing with the show. [SPEAKER_00]: But she's like, I'm just listening, I'm like, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: I really, like, it must feel good to think about what it is you need to do without thinking about the cost that's associated with what you'd like to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know what it, this is what she said. [SPEAKER_00]: So it hit me and I thought, [SPEAKER_00]: Are you right? [SPEAKER_00]: Because when we're talking about what we needed to do, we didn't say, all right, so but how much is this? [SPEAKER_00]: We're just thinking about what needed to happen. [SPEAKER_00]: They don't give me wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: She's always looking for the least expensive flights. [SPEAKER_00]: That's time I point.

[SPEAKER_00]: The point is either way, whether it's four hundred or six hundred dollars for the flight, that wasn't the point behind whether we're gonna do it or not. [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna find the least expensive in expensive flights so we can save money. [SPEAKER_00]: But the point is guys, when you in certain rooms, you can't help but to think. [SPEAKER_00]: Like the room that you're in, which is the reason why you want the room to stretch you, not shrink you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you're not careful, you're like, yeah, you're right. [SPEAKER_00]: We probably don't know why. [SPEAKER_00]: That's probably too risky, and now I'm shrinking. [SPEAKER_00]: Right, I'm dwarfing my goals because I'm around folks who start saying things like, well, those people don't succeed at doing that. [SPEAKER_00]: Most folks don't make it to the league. [SPEAKER_00]: Most folks don't, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe too over that. [SPEAKER_04]: You buy into it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you buy into it. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: You buy into it, guys. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why it's important that the room with Tom brought proximity, breeds perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: And you start to see things differently. [SPEAKER_00]: No matter what it is, small or big. [SPEAKER_00]: Right, futuristic or past. [SPEAKER_00]: And if in the room, everyone's talking about the past. [SPEAKER_00]: One of two things is gonna happen, guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: One, you're gonna think, oh, why am I in this room? [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody keeps talking about things, they can't change. [SPEAKER_00]: So now you gain perspective, you're like, I've grown because I've been in this room a lot and never realized that they're all talking about the past or people, not ideas in the future. [SPEAKER_00]: Or you're like, this is the room I need to be in. [SPEAKER_00]: I just grew from this room. [SPEAKER_00]: They said things that never knew.

[SPEAKER_00]: And now that I've learned, I've stretched myself in a rate of think bigger so that I can attract bigger. [SPEAKER_00]: All because I was in proximity to those who I wanted to be more like. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, guys, it brings perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: You start thinking about things differently. [SPEAKER_00]: And then when you think about things differently, you say different things. [SPEAKER_00]: You say different things.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's with us all about you have different self-talking. [SPEAKER_00]: And we have different self-talkers. [SPEAKER_00]: You tell yourself things differently about yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: And now you're attracting better things for yourself. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, you missed our self-talking family. [SPEAKER_04]: We were so talkative today. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm a rapper. [SPEAKER_00]: Normally, y'all go back and watch the old episodes.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, y'all know who's the apper in this chat. [SPEAKER_04]: I wanted to, but you can do this on a roll. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, sorry. [SPEAKER_00]: You want to say something before me? [SPEAKER_04]: No. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm fine. [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, this has never been, never been easy for me. [SPEAKER_00]: But next month, thirty-one years. [SPEAKER_00]: And now, this month, thirty-one years, bearing to this one. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's been another episode of The Cell Talk Experience. [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, things we say to ourselves about ourselves eventually determines what and even who we attract for ourselves. [SPEAKER_04]: And. [SPEAKER_04]: There's power in proximity. [SPEAKER_04]: So if you're in my proximity, you have the power. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you guys. [SPEAKER_01]: See you next time. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for listening to the self-talk podcast with Darn Hill and Tracy Self.

[SPEAKER_01]: We hope you enjoyed. [SPEAKER_01]: Be sure to rate and review this podcast on your favorite podcast listening platform. [SPEAKER_01]: And we'll see you next time. [SPEAKER_01]: And remember, talk good to yourself to yourself.

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