In this special live Q&A episode, Melissa, Drew, and Julie reflect on their transformative journey through 20 sessions of couples therapy. Hear why Melissa and Drew chose to take part in this experience, their initial anxieties, and what they gained along the way. They share insights into their progress, areas they’re still working on, and moments that didn’t make it onto the podcast. Julie also dives deeper into the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), explaining why her approac...
Dec 03, 2024•1 hr 21 min
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Julie works with Drew and Melissa in their final therapy session, focusing on Drew's shame and self-acceptance. The session aims to help Drew accept himself even when his anxieties lead to imperfect behavior. Julie explains that self-acceptance—recognizing one's worth despite mistakes—is crucial for breaking the cycle of shame, which can trigger avoidant behavior and emotional withdrawal from Melissa. Julie starts by helping Drew see the positive inten...
Nov 26, 2024•1 hr 13 min
This week on the Secure Love Podcast the focus continues on Melissa’s experience as the anxious partner and her journey toward self-acceptance. The episode explores Melissa’s struggle to believe she can be loved—even with her fears and imperfections. Guided by Julie, Melissa begins to understand that true love, both from herself and from Drew, must include even the most anxious parts of who she is. Julie delves into the connection between Melissa’s childhood attachment wounds and her past relati...
Nov 20, 2024•1 hr 13 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast , host Julie Menanno focuses on Melissa’s anxious attachment style, exploring her emotional regulation challenges and the roots of her people-pleasing tendencies. Julie addresses Melissa’s need to create ideal family experiences, illustrated by her high expectations for a recent Halloween outing. Drew’s contrasting laid-back parenting style sparked conflict, revealing Melissa's struggle when he doesn’t match her enthusiasm. Julie encourages Melissa to r...
Nov 12, 2024•1 hr 19 min
In this revealing episode of the Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno explores the intricate balance of emotional engagement and self-regulation in relationships through the lens of real-life couple Melissa and Drew. This session represents a significant breakthrough for the couple, as the conflict surrounding their differing emotional responses has been at the center of their negative cycle. The episode revolves around a recent incident involving their son, who exhibited a behavioral tic dur...
Nov 05, 2024•1 hr 27 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast , Julie Menanno explores the complex communication patterns between Melissa, the anxious partner, and her husband Drew. Melissa’s deep-rooted anxieties about Drew’s desire to be social resurface, causing her to feel as though he’s choosing connections outside of their family over her and the kids. Julie guides Melissa through understanding how past moments, such as when Drew was emotionally unavailable during difficult times, have shaped her current fea...
Oct 30, 2024•1 hr 11 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast , couples therapist Julie Menanno focuses on Drew, the avoidant partner in his relationship with Melissa, as they continue working through disconnection issues in their marriage. The episode highlights a recurring tension between Drew’s desire to spend time with friends and Melissa’s longing for him to connect with her and their children first. As the primary caretaker, Melissa finds it difficult to step away from her responsibilities and struggles with...
Oct 22, 2024•1 hr 18 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast , host Julie Menanno continues working with Melissa and Drew, building on their previous session. The couple reflects on a recent incident during their vacation where Melissa’s bid for connection at dinner went unanswered, triggering a familiar negative cycle and leading to her protest behavior. This episode focuses on Drew’s perspective. He shares how the disconnect at dinner, combined with Melissa's protest, led him into his own negative cycle of frus...
Oct 15, 2024•1 hr 26 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie explores the challenges Melissa and Drew face during their anniversary trip. Despite overall enjoyment, the couple encounters difficulties in connecting, highlighting the complexities of transitioning from daily responsibilities to relaxation. Melissa struggles to unwind and feels disconnected from Drew, who seems more at ease. As listeners, we might consider: How do we handle the shift from our usual routines to moments of leisure with our partn...
Oct 08, 2024•1 hr 19 min
In this episode, host Julie Menanno delves into the evolving dynamics of Melissa and Drew's marriage as they navigate the life-altering effects of parenthood. After 12 therapy sessions, the couple has made strides in breaking free from negative communication patterns, but challenges still arise around their differing needs for social time. Melissa, a stay-at-home mom, opens up about the insecurities and frustrations that come with her role, feeling like her personal sacrifices go unnoticed as sh...
Oct 02, 2024•1 hr 17 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Drew confronts his deep-seated feelings of shame, tracing their roots back to childhood experiences, including a pivotal moment at a baseball game when his father left him. This incident instilled a belief of inadequacy that resurfaces in his present-day struggles, particularly regarding anxiety about new work conditions. Drew expresses fears of needing to "reprove" himself, which amplifies his feelings of failure and shame. Under Julie's guidance, Dre...
Sep 24, 2024•1 hr 33 min
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host and couples therapist Julie Menanno focuses on Melissa, the anxious partner in her relationship with Drew. Melissa feels an overwhelming sense of "getting it wrong" in her interactions with him. As Melissa navigates these vulnerable feelings, Julie guides her out of intellectualizing emotions and into truly experiencing them. Through the session, Julie points out how Melissa's tendency to process feelings in her head can act as a defense mechanism...
Sep 12, 2024•1 hr 41 min
In this episode, Drew and Melissa share the challenges they faced during a 10-hour road trip to a family beach vacation with their three kids. Surrounded by 30 family members, they found themselves under constant scrutiny. While trying to ensure their kids had a good time, they also struggled with unsolicited comments that made them question their parenting skills. Melissa felt the sting of disconnection when Drew chose to escape the stressful situation by spending time with less challenging fam...
Sep 04, 2024•1 hr 25 min
In this episode, Drew, the avoidant partner in his relationship with Melissa, begins to confront his deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and shame. Drew's inner critic, which has driven him to seek perfection and self-improvement, also caused emotional pain and isolation. As he starts to unravel these complex feelings, he struggles to articulate them but makes significant progress in acknowledging their impact on his life and relationship. Julie’s guidance helps Drew understand that these negativ...
Aug 21, 2024•1 hr 11 min
In this week’s episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew face the ongoing challenge of truly understanding each other’s emotional states. Although the couple has acknowledged they've made tremendous progress, they still have their moments of disconnect. While Drew claims he’s happy, Melissa senses something off in his body language and expressions, stirring doubts rooted in past misunderstandings. Ever felt like you and your partner were just not on the same page despite reassurances?...
Aug 13, 2024•1 hr 9 min
In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew recount a transformative moment from their Fourth of July weekend. Picture this: amidst the typical holiday stress, a disagreement escalates in front of their kids. Instead of spiraling further, they pause and ask each other, "Hey, can we try this again?" It's a simple question, but one that marks a significant milestone in their journey. This episode not only celebrates Melissa and Drew's progress but also takes a deeper dive i...
Aug 06, 2024•56 min
This week's episode of The Secure Love Podcast opens with Drew reflecting on the early years of their marriage. His reflection leads to a heartfelt apology to Melissa for not showing up the way she needed, eliciting both an emotional reaction and a tremendous sense of relief for her. This moment of understanding and Drew's willingness to own his part in their past disconnect highlights his growth, yet Julie points out that this is still within the bounds of their 'negative cycle'. Drew's efforts...
Jul 30, 2024•1 hr 7 min
In today's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, we dive into Part 1 of a compelling two-part series exploring deep-rooted challenges in Melissa and Drew's relationship. Reflecting on last week's chaos when Drew returned to a patio strewn with toys, Melissa revisits her feelings of frustration. She was ready to support Drew, but his withdrawn demeanor left her feeling helpless and disconnected. This moment of disconnect isn't isolated—it harks back to a critical time in their relationship when the...
Jul 24, 2024•48 min
In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew dive into a common household challenge that many parents face: the chaos that greets them at the end of a long workday. Drew comes home from a demanding day at work, only to find his kids throwing toys across the patio and being a bit more rowdy than he anticipated. In these situations, Drew wishes he could ease into his evening, but is frustrated by the commotion, leading him to irritation and a tendency to shut down. Melissa s...
Jul 16, 2024•1 hr 12 min
This week on the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew share their breakthroughs and real-life applications of their therapy work with Julie Menanno. They've been learning to identify and break their negative cycles, but as always, the journey is full of ups and downs. Imagine this: one of their twin boys slams his brother's hand in the door, leading to a frantic trip to the hospital. While Drew is at a work event, Melissa is left to handle the chaos alone. When she reaches out to Drew for help,...
Jul 09, 2024•1 hr 22 min
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew find themselves caught in a familiar struggle at a baseball game with their kids. Drew checks out, feeling overwhelmed, leaving Melissa to handle the kids alone. Sound familiar? Julie helps the couple dive into the heart of their issues. Melissa opens up about the crushing weight of feeling like a failure and the panic of being left to manage everything alone, even when Drew is right there. Meanwhile, Drew's avoidant behavior, driven b...
Jul 03, 2024•1 hr 8 min
In the first episode of The Secure Love Podcast, we meet Melissa and Drew, a couple navigating the complexities of their relationship. Melissa opens up about her experience of anger and shutdown when she feels disconnected from Drew during stressful times. As she describes her attempts to avoid confrontation and the eventual buildup of frustration, Drew shares his own sense of helplessness and shutdown in response to her anger. Join us as Melissa and Drew delve into the vulnerable place of anger...
Jun 24, 2024•1 hr 22 min
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast: Real Time Couples Therapy with Julie Menanno. Join licensed therapist Julie Menanno as she uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help Melissa and Drew, a couple in their 30s, navigate life's challenges and improve their relationship. Discover the impact of attachment theory, identify negative cycles, and learn practical skills for creating lasting positive change. Tune in for relatable insights and actionable steps to build a secure, fulfilling connection ...
Jun 20, 2024•3 min
