¶ Introduction to The Secure Dad Podcast
You're listening to The Secure Dad Podcast. Discover ways to protect yourself and your family at home, in public, and online. Welcome, friend. I'm Andy Murphy, the creator of The Secure Dad. This podcast serves to help people become proactive in their safety. The information I share on this podcast is for general information purposes only. My goal is to empower you to make safer decisions for yourself and your family. Because our safety is our own responsibility.
¶ Celebrating Episode 300
Today is episode 300 of this podcast, and I get to sit down with a fascinating man who is going to share with us his perspective on how parents need to teach their children how to protect themselves. All of that and more ahead on The Secure Dad Podcast.
¶ Cybersecurity Awareness Month Tips
October is Cybersecurity Awareness Month. Now is the time that you need to set up strong passwords, turn on multi factor authentication, and update your phone and computer software. You do these things to keep yourself and your data safe. But what about all your data that you can't control? The information that is bought and sold on data broker sites. You can't do anything about their cybersecurity.
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¶ Enhancing Home Security with FlipLok
Fall means cooler weather, shorter days, and more time spent inside. It's also the season when break-ins can increase as daylight hours shrink. That's why now is the perfect time to evaluate your home's security, and FlipLok can help with that. When I first installed FlipLok, I knew I was adding an extra layer of protection to my home. With its solid metal design and those strong 3 inch screws that anchor it right to the door frame, FlipLok can withstand 1,600 pounds of force.
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¶ Meet Ed Calderon: Security Specialist and Dad
My guest on the show today is Ed Calderon. Ed is a security specialist and instructor with operational experience along the U. S. Mexico border. He is the host of the Manifesto Radio Podcast and has been a two time guest on the Joe Rogan Experience. But most importantly, he's a dad. Here's my conversation with Ed Calderon. Ed, thank you for taking time out of your schedule to talk with me today. Introduce yourself to everybody.
First off, thank you for this invitation. And, uh, my name is Ed Calderon. I am known as a subject matter expert when it comes to, regional cartel conflicts in Mexico, border issues, um, certain unconventional and kind of like, uh, obscure, methodologies related to, people improvising and hiding and utilizing, improvised weapons and just weapons of opportunity.
Which I've been hired by a few federal agencies and a few military agencies to basically show in some of this material, and also just go across the country and show this material freely to anybody that wants to learn it.
Uh, and on the other side of it, I also, train people in the, the very misunderstood subject matter of this escapology, basically, how to be the means of your own rescue, when it comes to being retained under, uh, under false pretenses or, uh, being kidnapped and, and, and things like that, that nature.
A big part of what we do, uh, because it's more than just me and this company that I run called, uh, Sneak Reaper Industries, a big part of what we do is basically we, we try and there's a lot of, uh, there's a lot of, uh, concepts, uh, out there that, that are considered for forbidden knowledge or secret knowledge, and I learned most of the best tricks that I've managed to impress, uh, uh, SF guys, SEAR instructors, um, most of those tricks came from kids that were
playing around with some of the shit that I had to, that I got to face. So, uh, we're trying to make the dark arts a bit more, uh, to come into a bit more into the light, you know, people learn some of these things because of need and certain pretty horrible environments. And, uh, you know, things change and shift. If you go to places like Portland, it's a nice place one day and, um, you know, no cops.
So like that's, that's kind of like one of the big aspects of what I'm known for and what I do.
Gotcha. Yeah, I had the opportunity. I actually, I had COVID while doing Urban Movement Online with you. And so, uh, that was a great opportunity. I appreciate you putting some of this stuff online so that people who really can't travel or people who have COVID like I did at the time, can participate in that. I really do appreciate that.
Yeah, a big part of the stuff we're doing now online is bringing some of that again the online training stuff So we have a Patreon and a pretty interesting discord that if people are interested in some of the stuff that That we've done in urban movement both in some of the live class and those on some of the online training It's a pretty good add on to people's Uh, skill sets, uh, we go over secure phone communications, uh, tracking people online, verifying news,
uh, stories by figuring out where things were filmed and when, that type of stuff. It's a beautiful thing. Uh, again, if like, if people are into that and highly recommend they join us.
I, uh, I support you on Patreon. There's a lot of good stuff there. And also I just joined the discord and I noticed that one of the, the subjects in the discord was on tacos and people are posting pictures of like tacos that they're eating. And I hope this weekend I can contribute to that part of the, uh, the discord.
Tacos are an essential part of my life. Uh, I've, uh, I took, uh, I took some of the producers of the show, The Taco Chronicles on Netflix.
Mm hmm.
I took them to some of the they came to Tijuana and they went to the spots that were recommended And I'm like, I'm from Tijuana that you went to the safe spots. Those are
Right,
I don't like you have to have some survival skills to be able to enjoy the good ones
Believe you I believe you man
At some point I'm gonna organize a taco safari for some of the guys that are on the Patreon or the Discord and Uh It's going to be quickly apparent why.
Gotcha.
Like I took him to a taco spot that had no signs on it. It was just somebody's backyard and they, and uh, they cried with those tacos.
That's great. That is, that is awesome, man. Uh, so what are the reasons you have all these great skill sets? So you, you, you do all this stuff. And I wanted to talk to you today because you're also a dad.
¶ Teaching Kids Self-Protection Skills
And you know, you're like me, you are trying to, make sure that the next generation has a skillset that they need to protect themselves and that sort of stuff. What are some of the things that parents today in 2024 need to be teaching their kids to protect themselves?
Number one is engagement. Um, uh, we live in a society right now, and I, some of our kids are coming up traumatized from COVID. The whole aspect of distance, mask, isolation, right? To us, who are grown up and didn't go through that, we have no clue how much damage that did to these kids. Um, anxiety issues, uh, just this weird spatial bubble that they are now living with as far as tattoos in their minds.
And also being, seeing everybody as a potential threat for pathogens is something I've seen, you know?
Yeah.
With some kids, uh, that kind of live through that. Um, my mother was very active in making me participate in what was going on around me. So, hey, we're going to the store, you're gonna pay for what we get. Like, I was like, but I don't, you know, like she would push me forward. Uh, there's a homeless person who's asking for money. Like, I'm the one that hands the money over. And I respond kindly to whatever he, this homeless person says. Um, there's somebody needing socks.
You know, we would hand out, my mom would always have a bag of socks and underwear that we would hand out to homeless people. Um, I think one of the big aspects, um, that I see missing in a lot of kids lives is that, you know, we want to keep them very secure. We want to keep them isolated. We don't want anybody to touch them, anybody to contact them. And they grow up with this.
false sense of safety and also this almost self imposed blindness as far as who's around and they just don't talk to people. You don't you don't get kids talking to other people And my kid, she's 10 and sometimes she's with me for some of the podcast recordings and some of the guests that have shown up, uh, we had Josh Burnett, um, to show up to one of these. And, uh, I was like, Josh, like I was nerding out on Josh Burnett, uh, his legendary fucking MMA fighter.
And, uh, My daughter talked to him for a long while about shop lifting.
That's great.
Why does she, why does a kid know how to do that? She's never going to go hungry. She knows it's wrong. Um, but you know, there's, there's a, there's spiciness to it. I think Jordan Peterson, said this best, you know, a good parent has to supervise stupidity closely or something like that, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, And, uh, I think, again, that's, I think that's what's the big hole in a lot of, uh, in a lot of a parenting, uh, parenting aspects is, you know, if we're, if we're, uh, people that are just not engaged with the world, we don't volunteer for anything. We don't, uh, go out, we don't talk to people, we don't do any of that. Our kids are going to emulate us. And a distra, uh, a, a, an isolated, nervous, person that puts himself in self isolation is the perfect victim.
And that's not what you want to raise your kids to be
Yeah, I agree. There was a situation that happened with my son and a couple of his friends not too long ago and I thought well, why didn't they just like talk about this? Why didn't they talk it out or whatever?
And it's just like the the idea of talking to somebody that they're not close friends with, it's not something that they really want to do that engagement thing that you're talking about it And i'm just trying i'm trying to um, I just had uh, Eric O'Neill on the show, and he talks about tasking his kids with, you know, Hey, today you need to give somebody a compliment. And I'm like, oh, that's great.
So, like, I, I, I tasked my son with doing that, and then this hurricane came, and he was home for a couple of days, you know, so he hasn't gotten to do it yet. Hopefully, I can get him to have those engagements, like you're talking about, being the one to go to the store and paying and all that sort of stuff, because you're right, it's, it's like a tattoo on their brains. They're not, they're not where we were when we were their age, right? Yeah, it's it's a different world.
Uh, people are on their phones. Um, danger, the face of evil, or the predator, like when we were, we were tribal people, and we were like hanging out around a campfire, and one of our friends was sniped by a leopard, you know, we had a vague notion of what that leopard looked like. We figured out it was a leopard because we saw the tracks. And we have this reaction to it, and now you see a live video.
You could put it on repeat as far as what that leopard looks like, you know, we see the predator clearly, and we see that he has or she has all of our faces. Um, so it's not as, it's not a monster, a clear monster. So I think that's a, that's a difference that the kids are growing up with now. I, I mean, I remember getting this, uh, my uncles would scare me with El Robachicos, you know, the man with the sack, you know?
And it, they will always point it to them like a, like a pretty, disheveled homeless guy walking around like that's the man in the sack and you would worry about that guy, yeah? But nobody would talk about the priest in the church that I would go to who was later on found out to be a major pedophile And it turns out that was the monster.
So Yeah The subtleties of that are as far as the nature of that being a reality for some of the people that are now growing up with that, you know, that the realization that monsters don't really represent what they are. Um, it's something I've also talked to my kid about a lot. Um, like, uh, every now and then somebody does something really bad and I just. Before I even mention what it is, I'll just show her a picture of somebody and say, What do you think about this person?
And she's like, well, she looks like a nice person, you know? I'm not trying to traumatize her or anything like that, but like, then I, then I just, you know, tell her like, you know what? This person was actually a pretty bad person. She did this and this. Um, and she's like, oh, like, and she's like, wow. Uh, she doesn't look like that. Yeah. And that's the lesson, you know? Mm hmm.
That's the lesson. Look at people's actions. Look at people's hands. Mm hmm. And leave the smiles for later, you know, I've always say this, their hands kill faces smile, you know, so just focus on the danger. Just look at people, people will tell you who they are, if you learn to look with your, uh, intuition and your pattern recognition, you know.
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I'm a big believer in that. Like, you and I grew up watching Masters of the Universe, where the monsters had skull faces and these big claws and all this stuff. They looked like monsters. And you make such a good point that, nobody really looks like that. All the bad guys look like you and me. And so it is It is interesting to try to teach your kids, okay, just because somebody has nice clothes and they look nice does not mean they have nice intentions.
Yeah, um, I had this moment, uh, I did some jungle warfare training way back, um, and in Mexico we still have, um, you know, wild leopards running around some parts of the country and those things will go after, like, alligators. So they're, they're scary. It dawned on me quickly why the human eye can detect so many tones of green. It's one of the colors that we can differentiate the most out of all of them.
Mm hmm.
If you want to spot a leopard hidden in the bushes, you need that. And there was this realization around that like, oh, this is the fact that we can, look at so many spectrums. Green in our, it's, it's just because we're trying to figure out what's out there. How do you apply the same concept to our main predator, which is ourselves? Pattern recognition, but a behavioral pattern recognition should be installed in the software of a young kid. Like, you know, what are these actions?
Why are they doing this? What behavior are they expressing? This is dangerous. We probably shouldn't, you know, you know, We probably should be here. When I was in law, in my law enforcement career, we had this, uh, horrible case that, uh, we were basically driving through a, a community and they, we were waved down. Um, we got outta the car. We went into this very humble, um, it's not even a house it's the walls. The walls of this house were made out of, uh, garage doors and tarp.
And, uh, there was one of the most chilling things I've, I've seen a lot of horrible stuff. That was, that was pretty bad. Um, This, uh, probably two, three year old kid, uh, severely beaten, uh, like a, like a boxing match level beating. I've never seen a kid beat like that. Um, and the parents there, um, both of them fainting, like, I don't know what happened, you know, I don't know, I don't know what's going on. And it.
We had, we had some of, some of the, um, basically neighbors telling us that there was a bunch of screams in there, like, look, look at what, like, um, and I just had this moment of looking around the room, the, the, the room where they were, they were in, a very shanty little house, and seeing the guy tuck his hands underneath his armpits, like, Mm hmm. You know, and he was smiling, like, I don't know, like, I'm very angry at whoever did this or I'm gonna fucking kill him.
Like, I wouldn't be crossing my arms and having my hands under my armpits after somebody beat my son. And I'm, I would be actively out there with a machete looking for this fucker. Um, and I said, show me your hands. And, um, you know, this kid had milk teeth, but They, uh, they split open one of his knuckles and it was on, um, how can you teach that to somebody?
Um, again, for me, it's been something I've been just learning just by being around a lot of this type of stuff, but how can you digest that? And not traumatize your kid and show him some of these things, you know, people being deceitful. What is that like? You know, people trying to con you. What is that like? People trying to sell you on something.
You know, there's, there's a bunch of ways every now and then we, you know, you'll, um, you will encounter somebody with a sign saying like, hey, I need money for an operation and you see them. A week, a month, you see them in different places and then you get into a Mercedes and drive away. Mm hmm. Um, instead of just looking at that and, you know, huh, taking that as an opportunity to point at it and explain to your child. Like, hey, they seem sad, right? Yeah, okay.
They, if you, like, if you had a kid who was really sick, would you have a Mercedes or would you sell the Mercedes? I'd sell my Mercedes. They're not selling the Mercedes. What do you think is going on there? They probably don't have a kid. Yeah. And it's like, it's a moment like, people lie about that type of stuff. Yes, they do. Um, it's subtle, but each of these things are upgrades. Um, and some people will say, yeah, you're teaching your kid not to like that, to be paranoid.
Yeah. Um, it's not, it's not about paranoia. It's about vocalizing their attention into things that they should be paying attention to. We can't, we can't, uh, our predators camouflage themselves through behavior. And we need to teach our kids to have a better aspect, uh, a better aspect of distinguishing these behaviors and patterns, you know? And we start small.
One, having them being engageful when they are out there and talking to people, saying good morning, good afternoon, helping somebody across the street, having, giving them the thrill of being a lifesaver, uh, somebody that just, I've seen my kid just hand over socks and underwear to like those people and they're like, thank you. And she's like, yeah, no problem. And she just beaming with light after that interaction.
And also just then us walking around and they don't give a fuck about me, they don't say hi to me, they say like, hey, a princess, I know the princess, yeah, you know, she's, you know, that, that, that aspect of it, I think is beautiful. And again, it gives them confidence, it boosts the right types of endorphins in them, um, and it also engages them in the world. And when they, when they drive by or walk by a homeless person, uh, instead of looking forward and not making eye contact.
She'll say, good morning, good afternoon, she'll treat them like human beings, but she will look, you know, before you approach anybody, just look at their hands and look at their feet, direction, intention, you know, um, that aspect of it, I think it's, it's pretty beautiful when you, when you realize you're not doing any of the service or not scaring them when you're doing this, you're giving them the tools to distinguish between the camouflage that people
use, who are actually dangerous through their behavior, through how they look, how they act and what they're doing.
I had the opportunity, um, and I call it an opportunity. It really, it really wasn't an opportunity. Uh, I had the situation. I was at a, uh, Walgreens with my son and there was a lady there who was being victimized in a gift card scam and she was on her phone and she was nervous. She was talking, saying strange things. She was trying to find this very particular type. of Visa, a gift card going around to all the different people who worked in the store trying to find this very specific one.
And it was just odd behavior because she's not looking or acting like anybody else in the store. Right. And so she, she says something, she's like, Oh, I need to go out to my car. I'm going to put the phone down and I'll, and I'll be right back. Cause she's going to leave her phone in the store. I don't know why. She says, Oh, you don't want me to take the phone out of my hand. And that was like this clue of, okay, this really is a gift card scam. And this is what is going on.
So I explained to my son, this is what's happening. And so I talked to the store manager real quick. I was like, has anybody tried to intervene and help this lady? And they're like, we're not, they didn't really kind of know what to do. They knew something was up. So I stepped in and I was like, Hey ma'am, are you in trouble? Can I help you? That sort of thing. And that was the wrong way to approach that. And I learned that right then. And so.
Um, she ended up buying the card and leaving, and I don't know what happened to her after that. So it was a learning experience for him to see somebody who was in duress, and to see that, hey, my dad was at least willing to step up and try to do something. I think about those moments where we see something that happens in real time and in life and we try to explain How at the at an age appropriate level for our kids? What they're seeing and what it really means.
Yeah, there's I saw this, uh wildlife documentary where they were Uh, taking, , rescued orangutan babies from a shelter and trying to release them in the wild. And one of the things they had to do was basically teach them about snakes to stay away from them. So they would put these, they would put these fake snakes, uh, cover them with things. They would, they would just, the experienced one would back up and like, Why aren't we back? Oh, it's a snake.
Like everybody would like back up, you know? It's funny. But yes, these, these moments that come in our lives, um, you know, this, we don't live in the Barney universe, you know, no, not everybody wants to be your friend, not everybody's going to be friendly, not everybody has your best intentions at heart. And if your kid is growing up with that sense of the world, that's not wonderful. You know, I understand innocence. Um, innocence is our distance to source.
Like if, that's why you get, that's why you have these instances of leopards, baby leopards, playing with baby gazelles in the middle of the savannah. And you're like, what the fuck is going on there? They're innocent. Innocents, you know, the closer you are to God, that's probably that you're the more innocent you are. But the further you go from God, or from your birth date, that's when, that's, uh, that's when a lot of the actual software that we need to kind of have installed gets actuated.
My kid's 10. She didn't, she stopped believing in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus probably around three, four. She was like, dude's gonna come in the house and leave presents, I don't want any presents, can we put the tree outside?
I love it.
So we had to, it's like, yeah, it's fine. Um, but, uh, She's informed, she's critical, um, she is, um, seeing things and pointing things out that the rest of the kids in her school don't. It's like, uh, like, hey, like, she will, if something's wrong, she will approach teachers and say, hey, this, this happened, or hey, that's going on over there. Which is, if, if you're a girl, dad. That's what you want.
You know, you want somebody to, you want her to say something, to not be quiet, to not be, you know, this little, you know, quiet thing, because that's, that's who the, that's who the lions will go after. You want them to be loud, vociferous, uh, demanding , critical, you know, uh, she's not agreeable, yeah, of course she's not, she's not gonna fucking let herself, you know, be, I don't know, uh, for me that's gonna be like, been a big part of what I'm trying to do.
Yeah. And I get that. And you know, some people just don't understand. They don't understand like, Oh, why would you do that? Why would you teach her your 10 year old that? Why would you let her, you know, do these sorts of things? And it's like, because this is reality. This is the real world. This is what she is going to have to face. This was my son is going to have to face. And if we don't prepare them for that real world, we haven't really done a good job. Have we?
No, they're unequipped. Uh, and like, again, I have this. Like, my kid, she's kind of like a celebrity at school because, you know, somebody scrapes a knee, she has a little blowout kit she pulls out. Um, she's, uh, she's useful. She's helpful. Uh, she's, uh, active with everybody. Like, my, her teachers are like, why, where did you get this kid? Like, I don't know. I just gave her the tools, you know, the confidence, um, that these tools give her.
Um, another aspect of, of, of what I've been doing with her as well is I've been showing her, It's very hard as a parent to be the cool teacher. Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does.
Like, I have people, government agencies hire, fly me out across the country, um, to show their federal agents or people that are about to go and do God knows who, God knows where. I just show them how to be capable and how to improvise this and that and all this stuff. And I sit down with my daughter and try to show her some of this shit and she's like, you're not cool. But, uh, I've had the privilege and, uh, To know a lot of people who are amazing instructors on their own, right?
¶ Eddie Gallagher and the Importance of Engaging with Kids
Um, I had Eddie Gallagher on the podcast and My daughter, um, ordered tacos for him, showed, showed Eddie Gallagher how to order tacos and then proceeded to take out a list of questions that she asked Eddie.
That's awesome.
Eddie, God bless that, God bless him. He's an amazing human being. I know, uh, uh, I, I, I can recognize that. I can recognize people that have gone through darkness and he's, he's, he's one of them. Um, but I, I, I, he's, he's, he's an amazing human being though. Um, beautiful, beautiful man. He's so patient with her. So direct and concise with his, uh, kind of questions. Like she would, what do you think about this?
And then she would pull out her little blowout kit and he would like add this in there and add that and Legit took her serious with her questions. Kids are serious It's a serious thing talking to a kid and teaching a kid something that kid can grow up and be Something at the right moment for somebody else Sometimes we brush them off. We don't understand the importance of their questions. That's a weird thing to kind of trip out on.
Uh, but if you have a kid, you're living in your kid's childhood memories right now. And are they good memories? Or are you just fucking laying on your, with your underwear, eating Fritos in the corner, playing video games with your kids, begging for attention? Like, why are you in that memory? Um, being present. Let it, letting them ask questions and having beautiful, amazing people around you that you can every now and then was like, Hey, you're like, can you show.
You know, I get sports are great. My kids doesn't like sports. She, she, she likes activities. You know, she likes botany. She likes collecting bugs. She likes, uh, whittling. She likes gear. She has a little backpack that is ined out, like, uh, uh, but, uh. But it's important. It's fun. It's interesting, but it's important. There's an importance to it.
And when we start adding, when we start thinking about how important it is to not only give kids the supervision, um, give them home, give them the food, give them rest, give them all that, but also just giving them the opportunities to experience. And to ask, you know, from different types of people, you know, my kids been around Josh Burnett, Eddie Gallagher, I've had, um, she's trained with one of the best female, um, martial arts instructors out there.
She has different concepts of what a woman is.
You know, she, she sees a woman in this MMA fighter, or she sees a woman in this healing woman that shows her how to use plants to, to, uh, treat a wound for infections, which is something she's done in school and just blown minds, you know, um, again, the, the whole aspect of just having them experience and just, you know, be there for the supervision around it, but that's the, the whole app that, well, that's, that's what we need to do, you know, um, We need to be
present for it, but we can't interrupt it. Uh, they're going to probably fall maybe, or scrape their butts or. Something's going to happen. It's going to happen and we're there to catch them, but we're not there to keep them from falling. That's not that's not and then that aspect of everything I think is has been pretty phenomenal to just kind of know And and and act upon.
Yeah. Yeah, a lot of wisdom there, man. A lot of wisdom.
¶ Recognizing Red Flags: Hands, Feet, and Awareness
I wanted to go back to something you said a little while ago like when you're when somebody is You know, when your daughter's approaching somebody, you say to look at the hands, look at the feet. I know a little bit about what you mean there. Kind of explain to folks what are some of those red flags or tells of what hands and feet could be doing that you need to kind of be aware of.
Sure, a linear path of movement towards you, in any context, as far as the street goes, is, should be a cause for, should be a cause for all of your sensors to be activated, you know? What's behind me, what's beside me, where can I go to, where can I run, what do I have in my hands, what does he have in his hands, and why is this person approaching me? I have some pretty interesting insanely famous friends and people that have followed me on social media know who these people are.
Being around them, uh, you know, one of them is a very famous singer, very famous, uh, being around them is surreal, because you see these people who have immediate recognition with people around them. So you'll see somebody on the street that just looks at them and starts going that straight line.
And, you know, everybody's acting, he told me this, you don't know if this person wants to shake my hand, you don't know if this person wants to ask for my autograph or if the person has like bad intentions and you have to make that decision immediately. So showed him this whole concept like, um, feet will show you direction. And they will also show you where weight is placed, you know, if you're going to take a swing.
And whenever, whenever you see a boxing match, whenever you see somebody hitting pads, whenever you see somebody loading up for a kick or loading up for a, for a sprint, uh, pay attention to what that looks like. If somebody is loading their back leg or their front leg as they're approaching you, probably cause for alarm. So the feet will give you a lot of aspects of intention and awareness. Um, one of the first things I always look at though, is the hands.
And usually hands are, are, are in, uh, at the height of the waist, so you can also look at the waist, which is usually where weapons are. Um, so I do this quick equation in my mind, hands and waist, feet and pace, you know, hands and waist, feet and pace. And at the very end of it, it's the face. I look at the face and the face is usually something I look at just as a, that's where I'm going to hit. That's where I'm going to hit this person.
That's where I'm going to do damage if something happens. And that's what I don't want following me. Right? So that's how I kind of view that. Like if somebody approaches you and they want to kill you, it's going to be a pretty hard thing to kill you if they can't reach you if their only weapon is their mouth to bite you, you know?
They can kick you into traffic, but usually weapons will hide on the waistline behind the back armed in their hands or Just already in their hands and that's usually something you'll find with weapons a lack of symmetry in somebody's stance, somebody walking with a hand behind their back, uh, just not seeing two hands, having one hand not swing when they walk. Um, a good example of this is Vladimir Putin.
If anybody sees Vladimir Putin in a lot of these videos, he's always walking with a straight hand. His right hand is always straight, which indicates somebody that carries a gun or has training. He probably carries a piece wherever he goes. I'm pretty sure
I would imagine so.
So that's a good, it's an interesting indicator of somebody who's. Probably armed and has intentions other than your best, uh, your well being. Um, funny enough, a lot of the, uh, if people can go and look at some of the videos of some of the, uh, Chinese immigrants pouring over the border, a lot of them don't swing that right hand. And that's pretty alarming. Um, but, uh, it's again, hands, that's where weapons hide. Weapons hide in hands and weapons hide in clothing, waistlines usually.
Uh, a big aspect of some of the weaponry training that I do is like people can get freaked out with it. Like, why are you showing us how to, how to make a cardboard sheath for this kitchen knife and how to hide it on a waistline? Because it's hard to look for something that you've never seen. Number one. Sure. Oh, it just. And also, if you don't have anything, you can have something. You just go to Black Angus and just wrap something. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. But again, uh, feet will indicate direction and weight distribution intention. Hands will hide weaponry and, and, and waist and a waist wide weaponry and a face will smile at you. Um, I remember seeing old videos of some of the Sparrow hit men people and old videos of some hit men in Eastern Europe. And some of them were training to shoot an assassination type styles. And one of the first things they teach him is to smile before they shoot.
Because it disarms your victim if you're like, uh huh, and it just blew my mind that these fucking predators have that kind of like mindset about so Hands and waist, feet and weight is what I show people kind of like basically to focus on. A lot of people have different concepts around it. Um, for me, it's not just showing them the awareness, it's showing them what they can do if they know how to, showing them how to do what they're going to be, have to defend against.
So, how to hide it, how to hide a weapon, how to palm a knife, um, how to conceal your intentions, how to shift weight, how to, uh, Keep somebody from detecting the fact that you have a knife in your hand. All of these things are built into awareness training for them. How can you detect something if you've never seen it or done it yourself?
Yeah, that's wild. You talked about the whole smiling thing. I don't know if you, you ever saw this or not, but Walt Disney had this show called Zorro and, um, Guy Williams played Zorro and he was a swordsman. He actually, he fenced, he did all this sort of stuff. But one of his things was he would smile at his opponent. The whole time he had just this big grin on his face and my dad pointed that out to me because he loved the show.
And he was just like it it it unnerves your opponent Like why is he smiling just gives him something to think about so I think that's I think that's interesting Um, so in your career, you've come into contact with a lot of unsavory people.
¶ Understanding Behavioral Cues and Drug Recognition
Is there one or two things that you just see or notice about somebody and you're just like, I've seen this before. I need to be cautious around this person. What is like something kind of this a red flag you've developed over your life?
I mean, trauma will give you pattern recognition. And I don't want, I don't want to tell people that you'll get trauma because that's horrible. Uh, um, I don't know, like one of the best judges of character for somebody. And it's something I make it a point to, if they're a parent, see if their kids like them. I mean, if you, if your kid doesn't like you, who are you?
It's a good point. It's a really good point.
A kid could be your first witness, a kid is a pretty beautiful witness. Um, other things could be your animals and the way people behave around animals. Uh, You know, I just have a dog around and see somebody just being It'll, it'll indicate something about people, the treatment of animals and just treatment of other people. Uh, somebody holding a door open versus somebody just walking through and not giving a shit about what's happening behind them. Some people think it's cultural.
Like in Japan, there's like, it's a big thing where people can't hold the door open because you're gonna stay all that all day because it's so crowded. I get it culturally there.
Sure.
But here it's a sign of somebody's detached. It's a small indication of a detachment. It's a small indication of coldness. It's a small indication of a lot of things. It could be something that related to somebody being on the spectrum, maybe, but realistically it's something is, it's an alarm bell for me when I see somebody just being discourteous in a small way like that.
Another thing I've also kind of noticed a lot specifically with, uh, With some of the youth, youth aspect of this is just if I can give anybody a, a wonderful tool, it would be drug recognition and also drug, uh, drug effect behavioral recognition because people are on, under substances, uh, be it stimulants or, downers.
Uh, display, uh, a very specific behavior, both in their daily lives and around them, uh, to their actual, you know, interactions with you, you know, um, it's, it's, it's a good idea to know how some of these, uh, drugs act, you know, um, methamphetamine will make you take things apart and not build, not put them together. So if you see somebody with a bunch of shit taken apart around their space, that probably guys.
Again, this whole aspect of chemicals and how it changes some of their behavior, um, is interesting and for me, it's allowed me to get this kind of sixth sense about people that people later on, how did you call that? And I was like, I've been around this before. Um, and, uh, I, I, there's, again, there's nothing wrong with drug users inherently.
But usually some people that are involved in some of that drug use are usually also involved in not caring the shit about humanity and figuring out ways of, you know, being predators. I always assume that the world is very friendly and there's some assholes in it that I need to take in. But, uh, Yeah, I guess those two observations are pretty key.
¶ The Value of Life Lessons and Overcoming Nightmares
There's a lot of, there's a lot of a life experience that we as adults have to impart to our kids. And as we've been talking about, it's, it's, we can't be afraid to impart that life experience. We can't be afraid to have that conversation. We can't be afraid to ruin their, their innocence, that sort of thing. Because if we don't tell them, how else are they going to find out?
Yeah, I get this whole, but they're going to have nightmares. I had this talk at the school and I'll, I'll post a picture when you post the conversation. I'll post this picture. It's, it's me in full uniform, talking to these kindergartners and somebody wrote this comment, like a Tio Ed showing, like, this is how you kill a man. It's like, I wasn't talking about, I wasn't talking about any, any of that to these kids.
I was, I was actually being punished that in that picture, like I was sent to talk to schools as a punishment for something. Stupid shit that I did that, uh, if you want to know what that is, just buy me a, uh, a root beer somewhere and I'll, I'll share the story. I don't want to talk about it right now.
Um, but I talked to them about strangers and stranger danger and, um, being aware, not getting close to cars, um, not being aware of your surroundings, um, making a lot of noise if something happens, all of these things. A few days later, I got word back that, uh, That one of the parents complained because the kid had nightmares. Like one of the kids had nightmares. And I'm like
He was listening.
Yeah, number one, he was listening. And number two, the nightmares were, were them processing some of that information. You know, nightmares are essential, if you think about them. Like, when I was a kid, I remember having this, uh, dreadful nightmare of going to the ocean and being dragged and drowned in the ocean. And I would go, like, I grew up in Baja, so, like, the ocean was always around for us.
Like, we'd always go to these fucking amazing beaches and just get, uh, wasted with our friends or, um, and I remember having this dream about it, it's like, ah, shit, I need to be more careful about it. Just being stupid around the ocean because when I was a kid I would fucking drink and go into the water and just do stupid shit but after that nightmare like she's made me kind of reconsider it and A few years later. One of my friends was a boogie boarding and he got swallowed up by the sea.
He was drunk Um, and it, it, and like nightmares are, it's your subconscious telling you that, yeah, let's figure some shit out, uh, to, to, to pay attention, I guess. Your kids will have nightmares. That is unavoidable, but it's like a fever, you know, it breaks, it does the job it needs to do and it breaks. Um, using that as an excuse not to expose your children to certain things that might make them uncomfortable or have, make them have nightmares. It's folly.
They'll have nightmares anyway when they watch Lion King and see Mufasa's, you know, get merked Um, Nightmares are gonna be there anyway, so it's probably a good idea to just to expose them.
Right?
It's it's It's tandem amount to putting that to putting your kids and getting them Them getting sick and them getting The benefits of having the antibodies from the sickness. I get it. I wish nothing would touch my daughter. I wish she could live in this up armored crystal ball that just kept her safe from everything. Somebody said some bullshit that you'd cancel that shit out. You know, somebody tries to bring her down and there's a laser from the sky and just shoots that guy.
Like, I wish that was a thing. But do I? Do I wish that? Do I wish my kid to be an isolated alien? Is, is that what I wish for my kid? And if that's what you wish for your kid, you need to do some soul searching. I think it's in the book The Prophet from, uh, Hebron. Um, that our kids are not, they're not of us, they're, they come through us.
Hmm.
Uh, your kids, that your children are like, uh, an arrow that you cast out into the future that you will never see land. And if you don't pull that string, they're going to land really near you. And I think the metaphor of that string being pulled is this, you know, pushing them, pushing them in, in such a way where they get that experience and they get all of the, all of the fly time they need to adjust.
Go fast and, land further, you know, um, and ending up, uh, living in your, in your dad's basement is probably because there was not a lot of effort put into that bow. And that's, I guess, in a lot of ways, that's how I treat it.
¶ Embracing Life's Challenges and Mentorship
Ed, I've thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. As we wrap up here, is there a lesson that you learned, like, maybe from your mom or something that is something you keep with you all the time that you remember, like, is keeping you safe even as an adult today?
Nobody is against you. They're for themselves. Has been. One of the most life altering realizations that I was given by my mother. It cut out a lot of unnecessary grief, anger, resentment, and emotion around being treated differently or somebody just being an asshat. Um, I realized that, you know, you realize that just people are, have the ability to be sacred, but they also have the ability to be, demonic. And a lot of what makes people who they are is just them trying to satisfy their needs.
And, and that's just the basics of being humans, you know, I have to put on my gas mask first in order to be able to put it on somebody else. I have to meet my needs first in order to meet the needs of somebody else and when somebody just doesn't put your needs Before you there like before before there's you're like freaking out like that's the nature of the world Nobody's against you there for themselves. Don't take shit personally.
You're not the first one that has been through this, you know That's another aspect of it. Basically that you're not special in your bullshit that happened to you. Yeah, I've been through some insane And it's left me very broken in a lot of ways that, you know, I'm pretty good at masking. But that experience made me who I am. Again, nobody's against you. They're just, they're just for themselves. And, um, There's nobody to blame. There's nobody to blame in that.
So it's just, it's easier to kind of go through your life.
You know, I've heard you say that before. I don't know if it was on a podcast or you shared it on Instagram or Patreon or something, but that phrase has actually personally helped me. Like, I get it. I understand it. So the lesson that your mom imparted to you, you have also imparted to me and it's helped me. And I will impart that to my son as well. So that, that's awesome. So thank you for that.
Yeah, I mean somebody suffering with bullshit, somebody having a small dick, somebody just being, uh, uh, just wanting to be really loud and boisterous. I know some legit killers and I'm not going to say anything about my capabilities, but I know some, I've been in places with, um, some legit killers, uh, sanctioned by the government and non sanctioned. Um, and one thing all of them have in common, um, I mean the ones that I consider legitimate, um, is that they don't think much of themselves.
Um, they abandoned self a long ago and I think the samurai talk about ego death or always being dead and just thinking of yourself as dead. I think it is essential to find in your life, mentors, people that exemplify aspects of what you would want to become. And some of the people that I've met in my life from my mentor and, uh, one of the people that basically got me on the path.
Uh, Lieutenant Colonel Lee Zolda, um, to some of the amazing people that I've met through the podcasting and the training like, uh, Eddie Gallagher, uh, Josh Burnett, um, all these people are selfless. They don't, they don't give a shit about themselves. And in that, um, is a, an amazing power. If I've impressed you in any way, shape or form through my actions or through my work or through, through, through what I experienced, it's not because I have a special tab somewhere.
It's not because I went to a special course. It's because I, that's where, that's where a lot of death iconography that I use comes from. It's, it's, uh, there's this whole aspect of just knowing that, um, everything you're trying to avoid is going to happen anyway. I'm trying to avoid my kid going through some horrible shit. It's going to happen anyway. I'm trying to avoid my house from falling down. It's going to happen anyway. I'm trying to avoid death. Ooh, good luck with that.
Right.
Right. I'm trying to avoid, you know, you name it, whatever you're trying to avoid in some way, shape, or form in the end, it's going to happen anyway. That doesn't mean you have to be annihilist and fucking just say, well, fuck everything. No, it means that everything we experience is precious. That every dude you meet around here is like, holy shit, this is a new one in a lifetime opportunity just to be here. Um, that's how I treat life.
And if you see what I've done, where I've gotten to, some of the things that I've been able to achieve, it's because every day for me is a gift. I've been so close to death and I've seen death so many times that I just know that any day, This morning, uh, while I was getting ready to come on here, um, I, um, I had this, uh, small moment with my father who's, he's in his late seventies, um, we're celebrating a death anniversary today.
Uh, my brother, who passed away when I was 13, uh, passed away on this day a few, uh, ooh, a long while ago now. I was 13. Um, I'm 41, I'm 42 now, so it was a while back. Um, I asked him, uh, he, he still remembers everything about him, like his favorite song, what he was wearing when he left the house, all of these things. And I asked him like, what's my favorite song? And my dad couldn't answer. Now, you could take that with frustration as a son, like, why didn't you say your favorite song?
But it just didn't, it dawned on me, he lost him. Whoever he was when he left is. It's going to be always him in the memories of people that kind of let go of that. So this bright 19 year old kid who's going to be forever joyous, happy as, uh, and, uh, I understand why he wouldn't know all that about him and be distracted by all the weird stuff that I've done and not remember, not know my song. Um, and I don't take it personally. I get, I understand that now.
And I live my life in such a way where somebody. At some point he's going to remember what my favorite song
Very good man. Wow. I know a lot of people listening.
¶ Ed's Final Thoughts and Where to Find More
I already know where to find you and all that sort of stuff But for anybody who's new, uh, where can they find you online?
We're very shadow ban on Instagram because we uh, we talk a lot of We talk about a lot of horrible stuff and some some interesting stuff as well. Um, so people can find us on Instagram through uh our Online presence through a podcast we do. We do this podcast called Manifesto Radio Podcast, which is basically me bringing on a bunch of people that I've learned from. It's, or people that have gone through the same process that I went through.
Uh, I, I usually like to describe my experience as a shamanic experience. A shaman will go into the underworld, get ripped apart, and come back with lessons. Uh, and that's usually what I have on, on my podcast. Most of these people are shamans in their own right. So if people can, if people want to check us out, Manifesto Radio Podcast on Instagram. Uh, we also have a YouTube channel, Manifesto Radio Podcast, where we basically put up all the videos of our conversations.
There's currently a beautiful one with a Zen Cop, a Zen practicing police officer who talks about grief. Beautiful man. Great stuff we talk about there. Uh, Sneak Reaper Industries, which is our product brand. If you want to gear up, check us out. We're a pretty weird company. If people want to learn more. about what we do, some of the stuff we train and some of the life philosophy aspects of this type of stuff that I'm kind of showing people.
We have a Patreon account, Ed's Manifesto Patreon, uh, that, that's going to lead you to all of our online training material Urban movement, weaponology, uh, we're about to showcase a video with a man that I learned from who knows how to rip people apart with his bare hands. Um, he's pretty, uh, evasive as far as trying to learn from him. So, but he's graciously decided to share, share some of that knowledge on that Patreon. So we're about to post some of that stuff up there as well.
And we have a discord where we're going over aspects of human, uh, human intelligence, uh, OSINT, uh, open, open intelligence, uh, just. Interesting aspects of just how to basically upgrade your ability to be aware, not just of your environment, but also of the news. You'll see a picture and we'll show you how to see if that picture is taken somewhere else fake, uh, and ways of verifying what you're seeing on the news, which today is pretty important. It separates us from the rest.
Very cool, sir. And I appreciate this conversation. Thank you for everything that you have done and that you're going to do in the future, buddy. I really do appreciate you.
Uh, thank you for having me on. I, I, I relish the opportunity to speak to people that are just like minded, so thank you.
That's all we have for The Secure Dad Podcast for today. Thank you, friend, for listening. Thanks again to Ed for being on the show. For more, visit him at edsmanifesto.com. Please consider supporting him on Patreon like I do. Also, there is a bonus episode of this podcast where I share my thoughts on 300 episodes of the show. I hope that you can join me for a few minutes for that one. Take back your privacy and personal data with help from DeleteMe.
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I'm Andy Murphy reminding you that tacos are an essential part of life.