461 - Built in the Fire: Stories of Grit, Faith & Ultimate Transformation

I can't nobody tell me nothing, bro, when it comes to discipline, when it comes to commitment, because I know how hard, how painful, how agonizing it was. And for a long time, because I wrestle for so long, I feel like, yo, God, you breaking my heart. And God was like, I'm not breaking your heart, I'm building your soul. Like, I'm trying to do something deeper inside you. And my pops one time, I was talking about pops, my pops was like,

do you know how a potter takes a clay bowl and turns it to a clay plate? I was like, no, he was like, he had to take that clay bowl and he has to break it. And he has to crush it. Then he has to put in a mill where you grind it to rest like salt and dust. And then you mix water in it. And then you're reshaped and remolded it. And he was like, right now, you're reshaped and remolded into like this vase now, but it's got to go through the fire to be seared. And so my pops was like, this season,

you're going through. God has been broke. He didn't been home with you. I went from having too much money to barely able to pay my bills and get by. You know what I'm saying? He's like, he broke you, he crushed you, but now he had a port of spirit upon you. He's reshaped you and you feel like you this new person, but you're struggling internally. He's putting you through the fire so that you can be seared and harder than him. So now I'm Teflon.

What's going on, world? Welcome to another edition of the secret to success podcast. You ready? Are you good? Oh, yeah. We like to look ghetto. Yeah, we like it. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. You know, like on our pie, we just used to being a little y'all. I like it though. Y'all like a little bit more. You know, you know, I'm saying Carl ghetto. You know what I'm saying? He's just be letting us do it. But yesterday when I was doing 10 folks who bring the doorbell,

they was walking over. Yeah. But it really gives that. Bro, we have a great. Oh, we have no good. I mean, now you might not know it from the aesthetics. You might think we had the five seasons. Yeah. Oh, it brats is everything. It's just everything. Let's go. Yes, for sure. We are recording live from Atlanta, Georgia and in the house of my brother Jeremy, appreciate you having us in the car. By the way, if y'all wondering, yes, I did fire Carl,

E and more. That got a new pocket. This is the new fan. You know, welcome. No, man, shout out to the fellas. They'll be back next week. But I did, you know, have some stuff on my heart. And I wanted to get y'all in because I just believe that the stuff I wanted to talk about today, both of you are uniquely qualified to talk about. And as, you know, Jeremy and I obviously know on each other forever and just and I get closer over the years and got to spend a little time together

in Europe. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just take a little family trip with the Quenis, you know, a lot of sites. Beautiful. And let me say this, man. America catches a lot of flak and probably rightfully. So, but let me say this, one thing we are doing well is like spatial awareness. Yeah. Like I really feel like we got that on lock. Let me tell you something. If you live in London, pierce them type of places. It's called like a three feet rule. You know them.

The bus, let me say something. And I used to live in pierce, but I forgot. Yeah. But it in can. Bro, the whole subway empty. I'm standing right here, but it in can and grab the day and had his pit right about three inches from a bro. I said, okay, bro. Now look, you in violation now. But we are doing spatial. You know what I'm saying? I just want to say that. There's a lot of things we lagging behind them. Maybe technology some other things. But in terms of

giving me a little space, bro, I just feel like we got that on lock. But it was good. You know, just just saw me a couple of times looking like, hello, man. What's going on? So anyway, let me get right to it because you all know Jeremy, Jeremy's family. Jess, want you to tell him first of all, she from Michigan. So what I know what I'm saying. We wanted. This our winnance here. But tell him just a tabit about who you are before we get into this discussion today.

Yes. I'm originally from Michigan. I live in Atlanta now. Better known as America's big sister. Because if you know me for more than five minutes, I instantly feel like your big sister. And honestly, I'm on guys assignment. Like I was put on this earth to bring hope to the next generation. And I'm locked in and focused. And I don't need to be here with you guys. Yeah. And she's hella modest. So I got a brag on her since she won't leave.

I said, please. First off, she, she beat a competition in Detroit out of 1500 women who were trying to be the face of a major news network. Yeah. Yeah. So 1,500 people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. See her. She's like, yeah. Don't play with it. You know what I'm saying? And became the face of a news network on TV every day. And after a years of a successful career, it's traveling and speaking. God was like quit this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quit this little job. Quit this little job.

You know, a major one like the next. You know, seeing in the Fox News or MScbt or something, right? But for her to say, no, I'm a quit and God telling me to move to Atlanta. Yeah. Foreign city and become a speaker. Yeah. But now you look up and, you know, traveling the globe, you know, saying Mexico, you know, saying like Canada, Toronto, the UK, you know, saying, now working with us. Yeah. Yeah. No, just. Just is our, you know, writing coach. She's our

structured coach. Yeah. Let me say yes. Crump and JTN to be all over the place. You know, saying just gonna be like, look, plant your foot here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But man, I really do appreciate you just being on the squad. And for those of you who don't know, maybe two years ago now, I think, you know, I'm gonna be real. I don't know if we explained it in full, but like, you know, we trained speakers over here with, you know, ETA and then Jeremy, of course,

being family him and Krump has started and Nick and they were doing it. And then it was like, I would be speaking for a J's conference at the same time we had a conference and I was lit and I was like, yo, this is kind of weird. You know, they're saying like, it's a lot of, you know, like bleed over in terms of like what we do because we so tight as fam is so a couple

of years ago, we rolled our program into theirs and we all just start rocking as a fam. And that's when Jess and I really got a chance to lock in, you know, in terms of the next level in ETA, you know, kind of formation. And it's been a journey just getting to know one another and to know people learning stuff again, y'all are a little bit more structured around these cars.

So I was like, oh, like, there's a lot of questions and a lot of like we just, you know, we just know, holy goes, but man, I am, you know, one proud to say that we have the number one training platform on the planet. And I don't just say that again for those of y'all who like, oh, how do you say you number one? Just go ahead and take a look at the roster, you know what I'm saying? And so,

but we'll get into, you know, that kind of stuff later. The thing I wanted to talk about today and the reason I hit Jay up and the reason I hit you up is because I got a friend of mine, man, shout out to him. He's a good dude, but made some crazy choices like in our 20s and was kind of like, yo, you know, he always be hitting me like, yo, I love what you doing, you know, like keep going. And it's like, I'm like, bro, I know you see me and I am doing well and I do out of family and I do

have these things. But he's saying that as if like it's over for me, you just go ahead. Does that make sense? Yeah, I know you and I'm like, no, bro, you still and he like, I, bro, you know, that ain't necessarily, you know, I'm, you know, whatever. And I was like, you know what, man, I need to do an episode that talks about transformation because I'm going to be real. Like, I can't say that I had like this epiphany like I like this is going to sound weird. I've been pretty much the same since

by kindergarten. You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't really changed my stripes. Like I'm just being real. Like the path that I'm on, like, of course, football or whatever, but like my character and kind of who I've been. Does that make sense? Like I ain't had no dramatic transformation. And when I look at mall, right on our podcast, mall been, mall been loving mall since mall was yeah, yeah, all of small and he'd been confident in all of these things since he was a kid. He did

have a transformation at 17, right? Like, you know, he found the pastor and stuff like that. And I was talking to Jeremy and I was like, yo, you actually like changed your complete character at an age where most individuals are just locked in. You know what I'm saying? Like, you think about like what age would you say people characters pretty much set like Trump? You got teenagers like 15. You said I'm saying, so I say 10. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like you don't really change your stripes

much. And both of you have had extreme transformations. And I was like, yo, let me get my people on who can explain the individuals who need to make a change who are looking at their life going man. It kind of is what it is kind of like my homie who feel like man, I'm 36. I'm 37. So young. Yeah, right. But I'm saying it's mine. Yeah, he going. Bro, I'm already in this lifestyle. You know, I'm saying just mediocrity or whatever it is. And I wanted you to speak to that one kind of where

you were and what was going on. And then kind of like, what was that epiphany? Because I think we get all this information, right? And the one thing I always say on this part is I want to be very careful not to give theory. Like you ever go here, good speaker. And you like, okay, what'd you take away from it? And you give like, well, you got to get up and work hard. Right. And put one foot in front of the other. And then you'd be like, okay, but what are you about to do like

tomorrow? Yeah. And you don't really know. You know what I'm saying? And so I wanted y'all to be able to like talk about, yo, see, this is where I was. This is what was going on. And this is how I literally made that mindset shift to get myself to that next place in life where I could be. You know what I'm saying? So I, and whoever wants to start, Jess, you can go, I'm saying, we'll let Jess kick it off. Jess seemed a little nervous this morning. I ain't on live. So I'm

trying to open up. Yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. She America's big sister. She all little sister. Yeah. Definitely for sure. For sure. Yeah. But yeah, want to talk about kind of like, you know, what was going on and how you made that shift like and to make it permanently, right? Because we could make it for is like somebody who, oh, I start eating healthy. And I mean, I mean, clean now.

Like when'd you start? You'd be like, Tuesday. Give it a minute. But like you, this is years now of sustained, maintained progress of being able to not only be successful professionally, but in marriage and all of those other places. I think the biggest transformation for me was when I left Michigan and moved to Atlanta. It was like a light bulb went off because that was the first time

my life where I just jumped. So like when God told me to quit my job, move to Atlanta and start over, I just was like, Oh, clearly I'm going to be working at CNN or clearly I'm going to get a promotion. Like the Lord is increasing me. Yeah. And I'll never forget like when we move down here, like we're literally like in the U Hall and found out that our house got double sold and that we weren't going to have a place to live. Oh, wow. Okay. I, oh, first of all, what is double sold? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, like we saw this both of y'all. We saw the both of y'all. That's actually why you're not here. So I'm sitting here like first come first. Yeah. Yeah. So when God told me like this was going to be a faith journey. Because of all the things that I desire to have and do, I didn't know what it was going to look like. Yeah. So then we finally got that situation taken care, which took about a week, you know, of uncomfortability and really like trusting God through the situation.

Yeah. As I'm having these meetings with these networks and they're just like, no, we're tired of people moving to Atlanta and trying to be a star like we're over that. I'm like, well, then what is that? Like God, you ain't, you ain't bring me here to be homeless. Like and not be successful. But you know what I don't have a room. I didn't have a plan. I mean, I had a savings, but I didn't have a plan.

But anybody who's jump knows how quickly to save me. You're going through Abraham stuff. Oh, for sure. I can't tell you nothing knows. Yeah. Okay. I hear clearly from God. So once he said that, I was like, all right, you're going to provide you going to make a way. You're going to do all this. So I had to encourage myself in the process because it didn't look good. And after, you know, call after call

meeting after meeting, and I was like, God, you're going to have to give me some clarity. Why did you put me on this earth? Not like what I'm supposed to be doing for a living or like, what's my career? What job? Like, why did you put me here in this season? And he was like to bring hope to the next generation. I'm like, okay, well, what does that mean? Right. Right. He's just like run with it. Because to the Bible talks about right division and make it plain, right? I didn't know what to write.

Because he was so vague, which I got to do you. Yeah. Yeah. So it took me getting quiet and being deep. And I was like, you know what? When I was on TV, all these schools are reached out to me, all these organizations with reach out to me. The only way I know how to instill hope is by using my voice. Right. So I was like, I'm just going to try doing that. I'm just going to start reaching out to some schools, reach out to some of our organizations to see how it worked. Man, end up being

a masterpiece. But if I were to settle in on my plan, which was to keep being on TV, be this big TV host, be all of that, which is really limiting to be honest in terms of income, right? And time got new. I desired time, freedom, travel, being able to make as much money as I wanted to make. And so I'm so grateful that I trusted God's plan over my plan. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for you, man. And we talked about this, but I don't really think you went fully into it.

But I told you, one of the things I think you were 29, 30 years old when you fully like made that transformation. Can you talk about, you know, like literally where you were? Because there's people who listen to this man and they like, yo, like I listen every week. But, you know, some of the stuff you're talking about ain't for me. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know if I can necessarily get to that next level or, you know, really, you know what I'm saying? Like,

they listen to it as entertainment. But I don't know that it's practical in terms of like where they want to be and what they think they can accomplish. You know what I mean? And I just like, I was, I told you, bro, we've had some deep talks and I just respect the transformation. So, like, like Jeremy transformation is so crazy. I forget Jeremy used to really be like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, and I tell you what was hilarious. And I knew Jeremy used to be like

that because we got a mutual friend. Now, mind you, I only knew Jeremy since he got saved and made this full transformation. But we was leaving church one day and one of my partners who I know from the A who it good do, but he's still in the club life and everything. Yeah. Jeremy was like, maybe 10 feet away. And I'm walking with my men's and he like, oh, is that perm? I was like, no, that ain't perm. That's Jeremy. You don't say like, I'm just like, oh,

don't first of all, perm. I'm thinking Jeremy ball. So I'm the cake talking to him. And he was like, oh, it's in Jeremy looked up and we in the church parking lot. And he was like, hey, Nick, we going to the club tonight. What was that? Jeremy was like, oh, it's brother Jeremy now brother. Oh, peace brother. Peace. Yeah, that brother started. I was like, yo, he can't be talking to I was like, so again, that was

already in our relationship. And I know you had said like, man, yeah, I used to be fooling, but I'm just I'm not putting two together. And then I was like, so then my boy, I think he rolled with me and I got in the car. He was like, I was like, hey, how you know Jeremy? He was like, oh, perm was. And I was like, okay, I said, Jay, okay. I need the full, you know, story, but like you used to really be a whole different human. And not as a kid.

Like it's one thing when like I said, E 17, you get saved, you know, you kind of like find a mentor or something like that. You don't hear about people doing that at 30, but in like completely dropping everything and making a full 180. Have you ever wondered what the secret ingredients are to a successful business? Sure, it's the people, the planning and the product, of course, but an often overlooked secret is actually the business behind the business. And for millions of businesses,

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like for real for real. So, people see me now preaching and speaking, speaking for some of the biggest companies across the world, now training and coaching speakers, which all, but they don't know, like 15 years ago, you know, saying like I was selling weed by the pound, you know, saying, whole warehouse, whole operation, major dope connect that would supply me, you know, running two night clubs, you know what I'm saying? Like pulling kick doors, you know what I'm saying? Like,

I was really living, wake up, you to a bottle of Hintney, you know what I'm saying? Pack a new port today, you know what I'm saying? Two, three blunts a day, like I sleepin' around, like I was really living that I wasn't living the life of purpose. I was chasing paper, fame, kicking it with the homies throwing parties in Atlanta where rappers like we threw in our biggest parties with soldier boy in his prime in Atlanta and Atlanta birthday bash weekend. Like just like, bro, we

was just doing a lot. And this is off for the heels of, I was 28. Yeah, rocking. Oh yeah, so I made E, that's a good point. So I made E when I was first 11. Yeah. And he was 21. So he's, we 10 years apart. Yeah. Almost exactly 10 years apart. And I met him at 11 and he was 21 and he was at my crib, but he put his hands on my shoulder and he was like, you gonna do great things? God, got a great plan for you. And that's a little boy. I'm feeling good, like, that's man, you know what I'm

saying? And then just I've known him over the years and he ended up being one of my teachers, but then when I got like out of school, you know what I'm saying? And we were not connected, you know what I'm saying? It's like I ain't the blues in my way, bro. And why do you think you did? Because you had obviously an incredible family support, you know what I'm saying? But people don't know you were adopted. Yeah, in my pops. Yeah, my pops. My biological father has never been present.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying in my life. And my mom had me when she was 16. And so she gave birth to me and it ended up marrying my pops. And so just the absence of my biological father, like really affected me and just a lot of wrong decisions trying to fit in with the crowd. You know what I'm saying? Not really being an alignment, realizing I was a leader, but I was leading people the wrong way. You know what I'm saying? Like I so the same thing I'm doing now when it comes to

marketing advertising, but I've been doing it, bro. I had an office like at the radio station. We would go in, we would record drops. Like we would come up with the flyers for the party. You know what I'm saying? We would mix in. We'd be in there mixing in the rapper saying he's coming mixed in with my voice. And I'd be there. Like I want her to I want this model to have champagne pop I'm like this on the fly. You know what I'm saying? So the same stuff I'm doing now. I was doing

then, but it was for the club. It was for the work. And so went through this crazy transformation. God completely broke me down. And and I lost everything and hit the reset. But in October 17th, 2009, I got baptized. So we just let's let's you know. I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a blessing. Yeah. I'm in the years now 15 years 15 years. 15 years. I'm saying so. Yeah. So in the weeks. So as hard as I was going in the streets. Yeah. I want this hard for me.

We say, so this is what I want to get to. Yeah. I know a bunch of people who been saved. Yeah. Right. Uncle got saved. Yeah. For about 36 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was right back thugging. I was saying 36 hours later. And I mean, you know, no disrespect. Anybody's been baptized or born again or whatever. But we hear about that a lot. You know what I'm saying? That's what I want to get you to talk about practicality. Again,

you know, we don't do theory on this podcast. So talk to me about, had you ever, okay, so let me ask you this question. Had you ever been saved or Yeah. So yeah. Before that and then lost your way. Yes. Okay. So sometimes was this. I just want to know once before. Okay. Yeah. Just once before. And that's when I was connected. And that's when I was connected with E because we was traveling when I was young in high school. Yeah. Yeah. We was doing skits and things. He was before you was thugging.

Yes. For sure. For sure. But since you had been in high school, you know what I'm saying? Okay. It's like fresh me here. But once that second semester, college came around. You know what I'm saying? And I started. I took that first swag. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fresh sophomore year in college. So to my uncle who had me on the Los Haynes at 13. 32. Just a sip. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I started with that. And then

realized, of course, now it's just like, man, that was a 10 year or decade of addiction. You know saying and didn't. So let me ask you this. Yeah. Think it was the alcohol addiction that kind of led you down that path like or do you feel like it was like a car. Let me say I've been intense and everything I do. So whatever I do, I just I just want to remember my all. That's why I thank God. He ain't never been no drunk. Lower head. Where he be at the line of other year.

Oh, yeah. Everything I listen to, but everything I do. So even when I was in the streets, blood, I had my hands in multiple things. But now I'm on this side. And so it was just, I think God saw like, bro, you a force wherever you are. Yeah. Let me just shut all this down and hopefully you choose me over here. Yeah. And so to anybody that be watching and listening and when I speak, I'm letting them know like transformation is possible. Yeah. Yeah. Like I, I am a

poster child. Like I went from I don't want to, you know, say too much of my little girl in here. But like, when I tell you, bro, like the stuff to see, he was out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you'll sleep. She get like, bro, but God just come so so people can change. Like I'm told my like, canter pillar, right to butterfly. So like literally, it's possible. We respect the drill being in the room. When you, when you got baptized this time,

what was different? And like what? Like legit? Like, I want to know like where you are already kind of weaning off the life when you got the again, because this we want to make it. Yeah. Beautiful. I'm gonna give it to you. Yep. Were you already like, all right, I've been 14 days without a drink and I'm kind of getting sober and now get baptized. Or was it like at the club that night, baptized in the morning, never doing anything else. So, so I realized, so I was doing a lot of

self-reflection and I realized where I went wrong before it was small compromises. So I go from senior year high school, connecting back with Eby doing skis we traveling, we're speaking, fresh me and college to just sophomore year, just a little wine cooler. Then this thing I know about in the semester is it's it's to keep the shots, you know what I'm saying to where we still in the alcohol like it was extreme. And so I, but it started with a small compromises. So

whenever I speak, I warn people of it. So folks now I'd be like, breast men, 15 years, you ain't had a drop of liquor. Like you ain't at the bar like it's like, not not even one. I'm like the small compromise. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's always people also. And you know yourself. Yeah. It's always people on social media like I don't follow. I got some homies in mind. I went to school with who models video vixen. So I'm like, I can't, I'm not following you. You

know what I'm saying? Cause that's how I slip back up in the corner on a website I shouldn't be on. So for me, it's just those small compromises. You know what I'm saying? So I have to set those boundaries early because that's why I lost my weight. And I was, I was heavy in that lifestyle. Holy ghost had a crazy conversation with my grandma broke down crying, surrendered my all the guy four days later got baptized. And then afterwards I felt the weight of, I can't

be this guy. You know what I'm saying? Like, bro, you was just duck taked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you was just looking for the work. You know what I'm saying? Like you was just on some super grimy. You know what I'm saying? It's about me and my partner stuff. Like how you go from that and you going, little Lord like, so I was really dealing with like in Posse of Syndrome, can't God really use me? Like it's just, you know, it's really possible for me to sustain this light.

And then all my partners, my homies, they was all in that lifestyle. And most of them was like, bro, respect what you're doing. If you need to get that work, come hollering me. You can run a couple plays. Now I'm not, not now. I'm trying to find a job. Ain't nobody hiring. I'm thinking like, I got degrees. Come on now, God. Like I was really beefing with God. Like, bro, I can run two plays and come over rent for the next three months. Like let me just do that. I ain't going to hurt

no matter what you don't say. But God just like clump that thing down, which is like, I'm just going to see if you're going to fall. If you want to be homeless, yeah, we're going to go back to this lifestyle. That's the hardest thing to do. And just you can speak to a tool. But I think like, you know, they say the first thing you should do in you and the whole stop digging, right? But how do you make decisions in the dark? You know what I'm saying? Like that's different.

You know what I'm saying? When it's dark, it's hard to make a decision on which way to go when it's dark. Like think about it. Like you out in a country road or something and it's like and no street lights, nothing. It's hard to figure out like, where should I turn? What should I do when you can't see anything? Right. And I think that's where people end up digging even more. Like, all right, I'm already in dark. Let me keep digging. You know what I mean?

But you got to take that first step. That's what I realized. Like so many people just stay there trying to find a map and you can't see. It's like, you just got to take a step and I realized, if I take a step and even if it's in the wrong direction, I can take a step back and then redirect. And I feel like that's what has really helped me. It's like, okay, I take a step like, uh, like I know from from a very young age that I was supposed to use my voice. I didn't know to what capacity.

At one point I wanted to be an orthopedic surgeon. And I never forget when I was in this, in this, this lecture and I knew more than the professor. And he was like, young lady, you know, doing this respect. And I'm like, no, if you don't say something fast, like I'm going to call you out on it. And he was like, you need to use your voice for a living. And I, and I felt like that was the confirmation. So it was like, all right, I tried TV. Like, I don't think it's TV. Like, try

hosting. I don't think it's hosting. Like, try speaking. I'm like, okay, this is it. So, so often, people know they have like a gift or a talent or something they're supposed to be doing. But how do you find it in the dark and did you just take a step or you had to find it in the dark? And what was the dark for you? Yeah, I think the darkest one stuff doesn't look the way that you plan. Right. So we, we all do good kind of planning out, you know, what we desire to have in life.

And there was a time where I was, um, hosting for Toyota. So I traveled around the world with Toyota. Um, anybody who's ever been to the auto show, the car shows, you know, I used to be one of those models who used to be there on the low platform. Welcome to the auto show, whatever. And it was a good gig. But I just felt so limited with the money. And I'm like, there's got, I got to be able to make more money per hour. Like I was just doing the map and it just wasn't adding up. And because I was

like on the top ranking people, they were like, no, you're like making a lot of money. Like, this is good money. But I desire it more. So then I started researching. I'm like, yo, this is speaking thing. Like what? Like, there's other ways that I can use my voice. Like, so I constantly did not settle on what people thought was good. Like I was constantly shifting my circle. So every time people would say, like, man, you are here killing it. You're amazing. That's when I

started investing in coaching programs. That's when I started going to masterminds. That's when I started hanging out with more millionaires. That's when I started shifting my circle. So that every time I would be with people, the conversations were different. So then I was thinking outside of my comfort zone. Like I'll never forget like when I was trying to consider transitioning from TV and to speak and are doing something else. One of my mentors was like, say yes. If it sounds like

something you could do. So I never forget me to do this. Still cool. Actually, Robert Kennedy. Yeah, that we cool. He was like, Hey, can you do corporate media training? I was like, Oh, absolutely. I'm the best at the added. You know, he's like, how long he didn't nobody ever ask how you long you're doing stuff? I think that's the biggest thing. Like everybody thinks somebody's going to say like, has it been a week or five months? I was like, I've been doing. I'm killing like,

I'm the best incorporate like hire me. That was like my first like probably like four figure check. And I was just using the information from being on TV. So then I realized, wait a minute, if I made that from this and he brought me in on a deal, if I do a deal by myself. Oh, man. So and then like at the time, like I think so often people are scared to do stuff for free. So like when I worked on TV, like there was a clause in my contract that said that I could not

be paid to speak. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Why are you all in my bin? Right. Because they wanted to be community service. Ah, okay. So I said, you know what? I can still get like the logos. Like I can still work with these big organizations and build out a website. So by the time that I leave, I build up all this credibility. So that's for the person who's still working a job and it might look a little different with your contract or something like that. Like you can still get your

reps in you can still get your footage. Like I was still getting all the stuff. So when I made the transition, I wasn't starting from scratch. Gotcha. Yeah. No. And let me can I speak to that? You know, when you when you talk about, you know, making decisions in the dark is deep with just saying, I think for me, Jess, it's kind of similar to you. I was chasing purpose. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It was just like, okay, like, like what should my purpose be? Like where should my purpose

go? So for me, it was really like, okay, how do you make decisions? I just say, I mean, I know I got a message. I know I got a story. Like let me just speak. You know what I'm saying? Like let me just share my message. Let me just share my story with the people. And I feel like that. So I kind of would gave me enough to keep going. So I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do or how I was going to do it. But for me, I was just trying to lock in on like, okay, what's my purpose? What should

I be doing? Like what purpose work? You know what I'm saying? Because before I wasn't living a life of purpose, I was just chasing paper. Yeah. But it's just like, yo, now if I can get an alignment with my purpose. And that's how it kind of evolved for me, speaking in little churches and still don't even go that far, though, Jay, you're addicted to alcohol, you're addicted to nicotine. You got all of this stuff going, how do you unravel it? Like, did this that makes sense? Like, yo, it's like,

I want people to understand like, yeah, yeah. And that's why I hate when people just be like, oh, just just change. Just get you like the God and shout. It's like, bro, I set up an entire life. These are, these are who my friends are. This is what I do every day. This is what I'm addicted to. This is what me and my wife are doing. This is what and you can't, it's not like you just, it's like a light switch hits and it's like, I don't know any of these people. I don't talk to

anybody here. It's like, oh, there's a full transformation that has to come along with that. So in terms of the practicality of that, how do you unwind that? Like, you, you, like, did you take, did you have a nicotine patch? Like, did you get all these things? How do you get rid of this circle? People have literally asked me, did you do the nicotine patch? Did you A A meetings? Like Brian doing other that? What I did, I did isolation. Okay. So I, I,

I saw my, so my partners was calling me like, hey, bro, come to studio. I can come. I know the babes is going to be there. Did you tell them why I heard it? Yeah, they knew. They knew what it is. I was like, Brian's strong enough to be in there. But y'all got Coke and everything else up in here. Like, I can't be up at the studio kicking it. I've been like, y'all come to my crib and we can kick it because it's a control environment. And then they come over. We watched the game.

And after every quarter they need to hit the air. It's like, I'm going to back yard and hit it. You know what I'm saying? And then come back in. We're going to watch the game. And then I would have to fight the earth because I could smell that thing on them. I'm like, I have to take a cuss boy. But I'm like, no, right, right. But when you're saying, but I had to like really lock in. So I couldn't go to the bar. I couldn't go certain places. I could, but I chose not to because I knew

I wasn't strong enough. And so for me, I had to isolate myself. I had to really watch what I was watching on TV. I was so sensitive. But I couldn't even watch a show or a movie where they'd be like a love scene. I'm like, up, that's taking me somewhere else. You know what I'm saying? Like, I couldn't watch certain things. I couldn't go certain places. So for me, I had to really govern my eyes and my

surroundings. I was only listening to worship music. Bro, for about my first four years, I was working out to worship music, bro. I'm talking about like Fred Hamming, like, you know what I'm saying? Like because I could not, I couldn't do G's even because it was taking me back to the streets. And then when I wanted to slip and I wanted to work out the worship, that was my, that was my screen

saver. So whenever whenever I would want to slip or fall, you know what I'm saying? Like, I would look at that and be like, all right, before I run this play, like if he went through this, then I can deal with whatever physical pains, whatever headaches because you're used to putting this stuff in your body. You can use to it. You go from a pack of new parts of day to two, three, bronzer day to drinking. To nothing. Like it was affecting my body, bro. So it was a very,

very challenging season, but I had a support group. People that believed in me and loved on me and prayed me through it. And I just took a one day of time. That was the biggest thing. Listen to me. I'm about to help somebody out. That was the biggest thing that God told me. God said, don't focus on you. And go never, God was like, don't ever say I'm never going to smoke. I'm never going to drink again. I'm never. He was just like today. I choose today not to drink.

I choose today not to smoke. I choose today not to do that lifestyle. I choose today not to go to that website. I choose today not to call some little babe like I choose today to be a righteous man to live righteous, you know what I'm saying? To live a life of purpose to be a man of discipline. I just shows that every single day and the days turn to weeks, the weeks turn to most, the most turn to years. And now we 15 years, two weeks in. Wow. And that's probably and I feel like for me,

that's like past Marines to brother. That's like past Hell night with the Marines. That's past PhDs to brother. Half the crucifix of the flesh. Like slaying that monster and siding me every single day. Like brother, that's my biggest flag. Can't nobody tell me nothing, brother. When it comes to discipline, when it comes to commitment, because I know how hard, how painful, how agonizing it was. And for a long time, because I wrestle for so long, I feel like, yo, God, you breaking my heart.

And God was like, I'm not breaking your heart. I'm building your soul. Like I'm trying to, I'm trying to do something deeper inside you. And my pops one time, I was talking about pops. My pops was like, do you know how a potter takes a clay bowl and turns into a clay plate? I was like, no, he was like, he had to take that clay bowl and he has to break it and he has to crush it. Then he has to put in a meal where you grind it to rest like saw and dust. And then you mix water in it and then you

reshape it and remote it. And he was like, right now you're reshaped and remolded into like this vase now, but it's got to go through the fire to be seared. And so my pops was like, this season, you're going through God has been broke. He'd have been home with you. I went from having too much money to barely able to pay my bills and get by. You know what I'm saying? He's like, he broke you. He crushed you, but now he had a port of spirit upon you. He's reshaped you and you feel like you

this new person, but you're struggling internally. He's putting you through the fire so that you can be seared and harder than him. So now I'm Teflon. Now I'm living in the city. I once viewed as like the most crazy city I could never live in the land of robbing here for 11 years now. You know what I saying? Like I live up the street. You know what I'm saying? Like from different places that I used to frequent. So now when I draw past stroke or other strip clubs, like I'm not even tripping,

bro. I'm seeing it like, yeah, that was a crazy day. And I keep it moving because I'm chasing purpose now. You know what I'm saying? So it was a whole process I had to go through when it was painful, but it was very rewarding. That's insane, bro. Isolation, transformation, day by day support system, support system. And they really being mindful of what goes in my yard. Yeah, I get in there. I get real now really being mindful of what goes in my ears. Yeah. And what my eyes would

seek. Yeah. And who I would be around. That was human. So if I was still listening to Gucci, Managed GZ and all the rappers I love. And I'm still putting that lifestyle, but it's only a matter of time. Yeah. If I'm still going to some of these different places, it's only a matter of time before I say, man, let me hit that. Let me just have one drink. Like I ain't going to be crazy. You know what I'm saying? So I was just like, I got to stay in this path or hear it because I really,

really, really wanted to win. Like I really, really, really wanted what God had for me. Like when I realized that God, my grandma told me three things. She said, God loves you. God will forgive you for all the craziest stuff you was doing. But like God also wants to use you. And I'm like grandma, now you tripping. I believe he loves you. You know what I'm saying? And I believe you'll forgive me. But he ain't going to use somebody like me. And she's like, baby, don't be so conceded in your

scene. Right. That's my favorite quote, bro. That you think, guys, grace can cover you. And I remember thinking like, right, you think you that deep. That's crazy. Yeah. Like this, it's a, no, listen, we talked about it before, but don't be so conceded in your sin. It's crazy because it really like, it really is like, you think you, like you think you the dirtiest is, like you don't even pump yourself up thinking that. Bro, since the biblical days, cash been doing. Come on, kill

and focus. Come on. Thousands and been forgiving and used. Do you know what I'm saying? So what make you so conceded that you think, you know, you know, you even. You know, bro, look at my phone. My grandson, that I said, what the hell? Absolutely. Yeah. You feel bad. Like, okay, maybe on, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But not that's real. Um, in the other part of it, you know, obviously the mental health component, which is a big thing that you talk about and a big thing

that you advocate for. Yeah. Talk about like for real, when you're going through those things and you do have those mental health challenges where it's like, not just like, like defeating self-talk, but like really like, I don't know if the, you know, how to get through this or how to maintain even, you know, thoughts of the future when I can't get past what I'm going through now or what I

went through. Yeah. So I dealt with depression and anxiety for over a decade. When I say depression, I'm talking about like suicidal thoughts, not wanting to live, you know, I got to cut some of my arm like, and I almost, at one point, I almost got tattoos over it. And God was like, how dare you do that? Literally cut some point. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. So at some point, I was going to meet somebody

and I would be able to share my related ability with them. When I tell you the amount of people that have come after me after I get done speaking on mental health, and they say, I was literally about to kill myself. Wow. I showed them my scars. They showed me their scars. That's a level. If you don't mind me asking, what age were you when you were going through this? So this was, so this wasn't high school. Okay. So the situation was kind of crazy, but I have no

problem sharing it. Um, I fell backwards on cement with a 50 pound backpack when I was 11 years old. Fell backwards on cement. Yeah. Yeah. So like the backpack too heavy because I was on like a 100 pounds, backpack weight, 50 pounds. That's when we had to carry books to school. So, um, missed that step, felt back and it permanently damaged my back. So from like 11 to 18, I, you know, living in an arbor, U of M hospital, we see in every specialist, they're flying in people.

Like there was no surgery that I could qualify for. It was just extreme like spasms all day long. To the point where my mom said, if I wasn't pretty, I would get teased because I had to have like a heat and pad plugged in like in high school. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I was in so much pain. I'm still actually in a lot of pain, the majority of the time. But did you notice? I did not know that. That's

why I said, just me. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Yeah. So the majority of the majority of the time I am in excruciating pain, but I realized like if this is something I have, like it's not going to define me, like I'm not just going to be standing at the crib. Like I got to just keep pushing even if the pain hurts, especially if it's cold because it's kind of like arthritis. So if it's cold or rainy, I'm really achy. So that's why sometimes at the events, I have a jacket on it because I'm

trying to keep heat inside my body so that the muscles can relax. Meanwhile, Crump got the AC on our fearless leader. Crump is all camera right now. He'll be on the next episode. You know, saying we'll get him an episode. Yeah, for sure. Tell his truth. But for now, Crump, you got just hold back. He throws up. Yeah, shh. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's no problem. I'm not tired of person anything extra. But once that happened, we went to see

specialists after specialists. So by the time I got the high school around my senior year, I was in so much pain, we were desperate. Being in a desperate place is really dangerous. And so they were like, we got this new drug. It's experimental, but it'll change the way that your brain perceives pain. We were so desperate. We were like, okay, let's just take it. They had like 18 side effects. I got all of them, which was like psychosis and weight gain and like all of this

stuff. So then we went on like a path. It took about 10 years to correct all the side effects from medication after medication. I was losing my mind. Not because anything like had happened traumatic for me. It was all these medications. And all I remember is my mom just praying over me and my grandmother praying over me and them telling people because honestly, like that church we went to like, yo, people was talking about me. They're like, yo, I heard Justin lost her mind. She

crazed like she was so successful. Mind you, I was so doctor. Like we had a promise ceremony at 11 years. I was going to use pastor like I was to chosen one. But Satan saw that. So for anybody listening to this and you wonder like, why does stuff keep happening to you? Is it because there's so much purpose and you're going to meet somebody and it's going to be relatable. And you're not going to come off as perfect. You're going to come off as flawed. And that's what people relate to is

flaws instead of perfection. So, yes. So it was it was a hard situation. And so so I was like, man, God, I want to put this behind me. And he said, how dare you put your testimony behind you. And so there have been so many instances when I'm so grateful that I'm like, hey, hey, since I see you, hey, where I see you. Like if I can do this, you can do this. Like if I can keep

fighting and I'm in pain all day, then what is your excuse for landing the bed? And if depression and anxiety is something that you struggle with, even if you're like on the other side of it, it's still the little dangling carrot that tries to get me. So there are days where I'm like, even this, I could be honest this morning, I like her saying, be like, man, you should just cancel. Like every time I show up somewhere, I'm literally planted with thoughts to cancel.

So I have to in real time talk to myself, I have to, the more sense, you got to encourage yourself. That's why it says that. Because them thoughts don't stop. So I'm like, no, this is going to be a big mess. So because of what though, like, I don't feel like going or. There's no logic behind depression. There's no logic behind these thoughts that come to you. It's like your body is always trying to your flesh. It's always trying to disqualify you

for what God has called you to. So I'm fighting those thoughts on a daily of like, hey, don't post that content or don't do that podcast. I just launched or don't do that speech or don't do that this because everything I do everything. Shout out to Jess because I didn't know you're going to do it. Jess is going to be like, I'm doing it anyway because you did launch the pie. And you are out there on the road changing lives and teaching people to speak and coaching people. And you showed

up today and it's like, and let me tell you how crazy this is. I, when I had my daughter and for for y'all, I don't know the story, you know, it's posted, the baby posted coming 40 weeks. Mine came at 24 weeks. My daughter was in a hospital for nine months. She has a trache and a feet into. But I was supposed to be in a hospital for three months. I left the hospital early so I can make it to seven figure. Come. Well, I did not. So I'm still I was like six weeks. Like it takes eight

weeks to heal from a C section. It was like five and a half weeks when I did seven figure. Come because that was the first conference we were doing that you and E was going to be there. And I was like, I'm not going to let Satan rob me. I'm not going to let somebody steal what God has for me. So I'm going to still show up. And I showed up with energy. I showed up with excitement. You showed up. I didn't even know like nothing was going on. But that's what we have to do. We're

called the greatness. Like I know I am a leader. Yeah. I know that I was created to inspire people. So how dare I say, you know, I mean, like no, granted. I don't want people to hear that. I'm like, oh, should I take care of herself? I know my bandwidth. Yeah, of course. Of course. So I'm constantly checking in with myself. I have a lot of self awareness. So I'm like, okay, can I handle this? Is this too much? Like I'm assessing that at all times. But I'm going to push myself. I'm

going to push my flesh as much as I possibly can. Let's stay there because, you know, obviously, as we've gotten to know each other and, you know, fam now and stuff like that, like I've been there, like since I think your daughter has been born and talked about that. And when I tell y'all, like, for real, she not just talking like, just show up and be on fire and coaching and, you know, smiling and being around like, talk about that because you went, you went through the stuff with

the back and that, you know, kind of earlier in life. And then you and your husband and it's like, of course, everybody's dream right? You get married. You want to have a kid and then you have this baby girl, beautiful baby girl who was born so early. Yeah. And it was so like a pound. A pound. And I can remember, Jeremy would like, text me updates and stuff and be like, I think you

the guy probably. So, you know, he, you know, he's taking pride in his role. And he would just, like every once in a while, texting, but I, hey, just pray, you know, the baby had a rough night

or, you know, can you talk about that process? And again, I love having you on this pod selfishly because our, our women audience, they, you know, they'd be like, y'all needs some more rippies and things, you know, and so this stuff, you know, we don't get to talk about a lot, but motherhood, being a mother, being a wife, being an entrepreneur, coaching and working with us, and then having the, the fragility or, you know, just the baby girl just being so precious and like,

you know, like you said, she got the trache in it, you got to listen for breathing. And you know, it's so much going on. The main thing that we hear, you know, with a lot of, not women, just in general is, man, I want to, I want to be a speaker. I want, I got, but I got too much going on. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I'm gonna be real. Like I got my nine to five. I got this, you know, my kids got soccer. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're doing all of this. And by the

way, your own speaking career, like, right? Like, she also is out on the road speaking and it's like, killing social media content. Yeah, just the most a new podcast. Like, yeah. You got to, one, I want you to walk us through baby girl and your daily, you know, your husband's daily, you know, routine and in that aspect. And then how you continue to push forward and not only maintain, but grow. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, most people just like, man, I'm just trying

make sure I get breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and go to sleep. And then we wake up and try to get, it's like, you've actually been elevating through this process, which I think is incredible. Yeah. It's crazy. Let me just start by saying that. I don't want to acknowledge that everything I'm doing is crazy. Um, I just couldn't allow this to be the end. I never forget when I was on the hospital. And when they told me like, I was going to have the baby, it was when we were

actually supposed to have our, our mastermind in the Dominican Republic. And that's when the, the merger was going to be announced. And I remember for a second, I allow my brain to process the realities of like, oh my god, it's my spot going to get taken. Because I'm not there. And I'm sitting here like, oh my god, like, because I had like four speaking engagements the week I had my daughter. Like I literally was supposed to be in the Dominican Republic.

I was supposed to be in the Dominican Republic. I was on tour. So I was no warning that she was going to earn here. So what happened was I ended up getting 60 pounds and four months. I was so swollen. I cannot fit my husband's size 13 shoe. So the day I never going to the hospital, I was so like, like, it just the weight of everything for me. And so, but they didn't tell you like, no, no, no, like the whole pregnancy, they said, like, you're good, you're fine. You don't need

no special doctors. Like everything was fine. Blood pressure was good. Like I was going in like every week. Yeah. So everything was good. I almost passed out in the shower. And my husband started praying for me. He was like, I feel like you, I feel like your best friend needs to call you. She called me. She started praying over me. She said, Jess, this is crazy. But you got to go to the hospital immediately. You might have had his baby. Now mine just my first child's

I don't really know how this world. But I'm like, I don't think it, you know, I'm 24 weeks. In 24 weeks, I don't think this is it, right? And so the crazy thing was at 23 weeks, and it is the day that I went in the hospital. They said, because I was so at games so much Wayne, so quickly, they were like, you're nine months pregnant. You got to deliver. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I still got ways to go. Like I got a flight

in two days. Yeah. Like I'm not missing that flight. Like they had to literally tell me like, hold me and be like, you're not making any flights. Like your plans are canceled. Like you're about to die. And you and your daughter might die. So just shift your focus. What? What? So I ended up getting diagnosed with severe preclampsia. Okay. So that has to do like your blood pressure. So by the time they, but they asked where did they just get hit you at

any moment? So you really on the pre-site and then I also can happen on the post side. But either way, it can kill you. Now the craziest thing about it is my, the mother of my brother's daughter, exact same thing. She ended up having her daughter at 27 weeks, severe preclampsia, ended up gaining like 60, 70 pounds. Like it was the same traumatic situation. My niece was in the hospital for four months. Okay. So the every week counted. So literally like I'm in the hospital bit,

and they're like, you about to have this baby. I'm in real time googling. Survival rate of 23 week baby. It's low. So I'm like, survive a rate of 24 weeks. They said it double. So I'm like, okay, we're going to have to wait a week. They're like, we don't advise that you're not going to make it. I said, let me tell you something. I did not come this far to lose my life and my daughter's

life. So we're going to just wait as long as possible. So the, so the actual day, 24 weeks and one day that I had my daughter, they had told me that I was going to be able to be on bed rest for the rest of the months. So my husband had brought like everything like he and then brought a mattress for him. He didn't bought a refrigerator or a microwave. Like we had settled in. Yeah. And he went to go get

Olive Garden. I'll never forget it. He went to go get Olive Garden. He came back and as he's walking in the door, a swarm of doctors walking in and they say, your blood pressure is at two to one. You're about to die. And I'm black out. At that point, I don't know what's going on. They're like, we know we have to take the baby immediately. Oh, just okay. They just, it looks sweet. So literally, they were like, Hey, you're doing good. Just settling, bring all your stuff. Like y'all about to

just live here. So we're like, Okay, bet we could do that two hours after that. They're like, your, but it's your liver's failing. Like every, your, all your organs are failing. So we had to have that conversation of like, you know what I'm saying? And we got to choose, choose the baby. Don't choose me. He's like, I'm not choosing the baby over you. I don't even know this baby. And I'm like, choose the baby. He has been with us. Yeah. He like, we can, he like, we can have

another, yeah, he's like, we can have another baby. And so I told him, I said, you're going to be okay. You're going to be great father. Like, we had to have that moment. And then after that, I just don't remember what happened. And I didn't have to get four epidurals. Mind you, I plan on having like a doula and it'd be like worship music. Like I had a role. Like it was about to be a vibe. Like we were going to be a bar. It was about to be a vibe, right? Cause I had, cause I had this plan.

Yeah. Of course. And all that stuff wrecked. And I remember when I kind of like kind of got back into consciousness, cause my blood pressure was so like, it just made me kind of in a haze. I remember the guy doing the, the, the, the epidural. He was like, I've never had to give somebody for epidurals. He's like, he said, you're spying is swollen. He said, we can't even figure out where it actually needs to go. And he's like, I'm literally putting you in so much pain.

And then this the worst part halfway through the C section, they forgot to go get my husband. So then all of a sudden they're like, where's her husband? So they go get him. And he has to see me like, like cut open. He that was the worst thing of his life. He said he's still traumatized. So Candace got an emergency C section with Avery, because she had a not in her core was tied around her neck. And, but I was on the good, how you on the good, have okay. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like,

just and they lived in my daughter up like symbol over the curtain. Yeah. Yeah. I get you know, saying, but I didn't even know. Yeah. So he had to see the whole thing. And because she was a pound and it was so like dire, I didn't even get to see her. I didn't see her for a week. I didn't see my daughter for a week because I was dealing with so much that I couldn't walk. I couldn't do anything. So it was like I couldn't even and she couldn't be rolled because she was in

the NICU. So my husband had to go with her. But the, but the most beautiful thing is babies born that premature don't cry when they're born. She cried. And they were like, oh, this baby's going to make it. And they were like prophesying over her. They're like, she's a warrior. One pound. So like when you and I'm not going to lie when you see babies that small, like they look disfigured, like they don't look done. Oh, yeah, for sure. So you're like, you're like, by

faith saying like, you are beautiful. Yeah. You know, I'm saying because you're looking like, and everybody like, see me pictures. I'm like, I think I'm a single picture in a couple months. You know what I mean? When she's cooking a little bit, but it's a weird thing to look at a child that you know isn't done. But I can't meet it every day to speak in the word over her. Because it was like how dare I speak life and to all these strangers that I had the experience

to encounter. So I'm speaking the word over her. I'm just affirming her. You are beautiful. You're confident. You are strong. Your lungs are getting stronger every day. You can do this. Like I'm at the hospital like 12 to 14 hours a day. And I was still pumping because they told me breast milk was the best milk. But because of all the stress, it was not easy. So I was in pain. Like even at the conferences, I would literally be like behind some random curtain. Like,

they already know behind some random curtain. That's why I always have jackass on because I like literally was pumping to provide my daughter with milk and my husband. Thank God. My husband was so amazing. That's why the person you married is vital. Oh, yeah. That's a whole other part. Yeah. The hospital was an hour hour and a half away from tripping and we were having to go up there three times a day to deliver this milk. Like I was a cow.

Wow. Still coaching. So like I and my daughter was in the hospital for nine months. I asked the staff if I could use their lunch room so that I could still keep coaching people. Okay. So at the conference, Jess needs to do a whole keynote just on this story right here. For all the Negroes out here and making excuses on some average stuff, I had no clue that's going on. And so I asked God, like, why I had to go through all of this?

And he was like, because you're going to meet so many people with excuses. All right. They will know. Organize. 20% of that. Yeah. You mean so many people with excuses. So many women saying like I can't, you know, me and I got all this going on. I don't know. My son got football on. Yeah. Like and then and then God told me this is going to be the slowest season of my life. Like he like from up from here. Like however, however, hey,

okay, y'all that this feels now. Wow. This is the slowest season and something that really encouraged me. I remember one day I was I was in the hospital because at the time, my husband's mother was dealing with brain cancer. So at one point, okay, did not hold. Yeah. At one point, yeah. Me, my daughter and my mother-in-law were all in the same hospital. She decided to have her surgery

in the same hospital so that her son could come visit her. So when I talk about like weight responsibility and God was like, no, this will be the slowest season. So and I remember thinking God like, why do I have to do this? And he's like, you said you wanted to be the number one woman motivational speaker in the world that comes with weight. Mm-hmm. That comes with related validity. Like people want titles like you praying for stuff,

you asking for stuff, you designing stuff. But you don't want how much weight that is. And then he brought me to two people. He showed me ET's face. And he showed me T.D. Jakes face. And he was like, wait. And I just had to sit with it. Because we all got these stories. Yeah. And you're like, you could say why them and why that? But then you see where they at.

You're like, they endure some pain. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think that's, you know, as I, you know, it's so funny too because the stuff that y'all went through and that's one of the things I had to get over, right? Even Crum, you got an incredible story. You know, Crum, you know, Florida, you know, I'm saying Florida boy. That Crum, that Crum problem. He's still listening

that Florida music. You know what I'm saying? That bro came. But you know, again, and this is, you know, something that I want people to hear, you know, the reason we all chose this is for different reasons, right? Like the reason we chose to go into this, this stuff that you went through, this stuff that you endured, this stuff, Jeremy went through like that's y'all connection

to people. You know what I'm saying? Like that's why, you know, I love coaching y'all or being there for y'all in the brain because I'm like, yo, when you go there and I tell people all the time and it's something that I've had to tell both of y'all is there's a reason he says every single

speech that took me 12 years to get a four year degree. My mother got pregnant with me at 17, dropped out, he had been in buildings eight out of trash cans like he's trying to show you in every single message that this is the baseline where I came from to get wherever you think I'm at now. And a lot of times like even for some of our listeners of the podcast is like, I love it. They

start listening like four years ago. And there's like, I tell somebody the other day, I was on my, my coaching call last night with next level and do was like, yeah, well, how do I find my CJ? And I was like, yeah, you looking for CJ like now. You know what I'm saying? You need to find me at 21, 22 when I was like, not this version by any means. You know what I'm saying? And you know, for me, and that's why I love the work we do, right? Even for me, like, I had to go to God and be like,

all right, cool. I'm looking at E, E like, yo, homeless, abandoned buildings, trash cans. I'm listening to my wife. She like, yo, I got taken from my mother. She was strong out on crack, east side of Detroit. And I grew up in like pleasantville compared to all of this. Like I'm just being rid, we literally had a white pick of fence, like legit. And then I started saying, okay, God, like how am I, how do I fit into this equation in terms of speaking and training and coaching?

Because I love this too. And God was like, yo, you had a father. You had a healthy upbringing. So it's on you to be even more for people because they need to see what health looks like. You know what I'm saying? And like, and so I just always took it upon myself to be like, okay, cool. I will be the one that leads and shows confidence and has no fear and has these things and

show people a different thing. And I think that's why it's dope. What we do in our community is show individuals how to use your story, whatever that story is, whether you like me and you came up middle class and got a good upbringing. And we went to Disney area, not ninnin. And you know what I'm saying? Or you grew up and had these struggles and challenges that, you know, made you who you are. I think that's what's so incredible about our community is you just see people from every walk

of life. You know, and a lot of stuff, you know, Jess is talking about, of course, when she's with us, you're more coaching. But some of this is even new for us just in terms of the way you frame in it today. How does the life experience for both the frame what you're going to talk about and how you connect to your audience? Yeah. So when I first started speaking, I spoke on success because everybody said I was successful. They're like, well, you used to do beauty patterns and you started

your first company at 14 and you've been on magazines. You know all this stuff. So talk about success. I'm like, okay, well, that's low hanging fruit. Let me do that. But I'll never forget there was this lady who came up with to me. Like your speech was amazing. But honestly, like I'm so depressed right now. Like I can't even process your motivation. And so I just hugged her and I said, I loved her and I encouraged her. And I went to my car and God was like, how dare you not share your story.

I don't share, don't share the polish on. Yeah. I let people know you actually are dealing with depression and anxiety and you're struggling and you're dealing with all that stuff. So I think I want to encourage anybody who's listening to this. I like, well, you reluctant to share that at first because you kind of thought like I'm supposed to be talking about motivation. Yeah. I can't really. Yeah, I would say that is something that I struggle with, especially the stigma like in the

black community talking about mental health. So I started talking about how I thought people pre-covet. Okay. Well, nobody was really talking about it. And I used to get like pushback from people like, why do you want to talk about this heavy topic? Like, you know, your social success will just talk about success. And I'm like, but people are broken. Like there's so many people dealing with it. Like why can't I be the person to champion this on and honestly it changed my whole business

because it's rooted in purpose. And it's like, I wish somebody would have helped me. Like I wish somebody would have, I could have went to a speech and somebody would encourage me and supported me. Like I had family and friends that were amazing. But I didn't hear like from outside influences. So I said, instead of complaining about what I didn't have, why not I, why not I become that person for somebody else? That's what pushes me. So I want to encourage people.

If you've been through domestic violence, if you've been through sexual assault, I've been, I've been through a lot of stuff. I started just sharing stories and people are like, thank you. I finally feel seen. So it does take some while, some healing. Like that's why I launched the Finally Heal podcast because I was so tired of people wanting to talk about stuff from an unheal place. So it's like, can we go to therapy? Like can we not just talk to my best friend?

Like can we go to somebody who this is what they do for a living and you can finally say that I am important enough to heal? I think that's the thing. Like we don't feel like we're so on this hamster reel of just doing things that we feel guilty taking an hour to talk to somebody and release some stuff from our past. Thanks. Jay for you just in terms of, and Jay, I love you. Jeremy, I mean, he's like he but he's not like Jeremy goes into the zone like he goes into the zone,

but then Jeremy just start being so transparent. Yeah. I'll be texting Crump like, hey, bro, this man, you know what? Jeremy was on stage. I think we're in Toronto. And I text Crump like, hey, this is a mad man. Like you really like once you get into your zone, like you like, bro, and I'll be looking like the Tracy approved this. Like I'm just gonna know this and stuff. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't know if I can just be like, all right, cool. I'm gonna share it.

Like I would have to look over and be like, right. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and James would be like, look, when the Holy Spirit in her, you know, it's on. But how do you, I guess Jay, how do you obviously use your past for your messaging and then why do you feel so comfortable with the transparency? And is it something that you had to talk to Tracy about? Look, like I'm about to spill all the ways now the night. So don't you know what I mean? And I don't and I don't spill all of it.

So I don't spill them all. But I was talking about what I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, one straight. It's all about framing. And her thing is like, give me a heads up. That way, I know I'm about to get sworn by 1500 people after you speak. Oh my god, your story's amazing. So yeah, her thing is like, just give me a heads up so I can be prepared to have the influx of people that inspire by our story. But for me, but always the question though, just in terms of how

you use your past to inform your messaging and training now. I mean, it's so I'm telling you, you understand some of the reason I'm asking this because it's like one of the number one questions I get is, how do I get into, you know, the industry? Because y'all know that's listen, that's the only thing I do well. But that's what I do well is coach and train speakers and brand speakers. And so this is an opportunity, not only for them to hear your story and learn from y'all,

but also to hear how you guys use what you've been through. Like your message and your story is your currency. Like you should be getting paid off of the pain you went through and you overcame it. I tell people all the time. It don't matter what you went through. If you overcame it, you are the expert in that lane. And so you can get paid for that. Understand something.

Public speaking is like the number one fear in the world. Yeah. They said it's like a boob swimming with sharks jumping out of planes, parachute and bungee jumping, scary movies standing up in front of people and talking. So what does that mean? If that's the number one fear in the world and you can do it at a decent level, you can get paid for it. And for sure.

Obviously both of you have made an incredible life for yourselves doing it. But I mean, when you look at decoding your past and informing your future, how do you reflect on it, use it and then go forward with it. You know what I mean? I want to I tell people all the time in order to give a real powerful speech, you got to be real and relatable. So Paul says,

I boast all the more gladness in my infirmities and my challenges and my struggles. He's Paul was like, I could talk about how smart I am and how successful he's like, I'm a boast on the things I struggle with. So that's really what connects with the people. You know what I'm saying? So for me, I feel like I'd be doing them a disservice. If I'm not open, if I'm not honest, if I'm not transparent, so I'm going to put it out here to let you know this is from what I've come from.

These are the mistakes I made. Don't make the same mistake. If you care about people, I tell folks all the time, it me and Cron walked down the alley and we turned right on Parker Avenue. And we know what some people that's waiting to rob you. And we just got robbed. But I'm going to tell you don't go down the street and turn right on Parker Avenue. Because if you go down and turn right on Parker app, it's eight people waiting to rob you. So if I care about you, I'm going to tell

you I made that wrong turn. Don't go and make that turn. So for me, it come from a place of love. I had to be selfish and say, you know what? I don't care what you think about me. You could judge me if you want. It's a whole bunch of people that would appreciate me being open and honest and vulnerable about sharing my story and my journey. And that was one thing as I began to walk this path with God. I realized like, man, people need to hear they can connect with it. My message

and story was amazing and refreshing. And then it was like, yo, if it's possible for you, it's possible for me. And I just kind of made a career out of just sharing my story, sharing my heart and been doing it for all these years. And so for me, I just got to point out I was like, man, folks out here hurting people are struggling. The way I can change lives and help them is to let

them know I was once there. This is what I went through. And now I'm impacted. Who knows how many millions of people whose lives are changed because they was like, Rob, been seeing your journey. But if God could do that with you, if he could change your life around and you can be living like this as an adult, like you say, to go through their transformation to the age of 29 years old, a grown grown man completely changed their ways and stay that course. People know it's possible.

And but now it's just like not only is it possible to change your ways, but now you can go and make a business or career a ministry out of it. So now we got folks as in many women empowerment. So I'm speaking in the corporate space. I'm speaking for sports teams and athletes in high schools and middle schools like people are using their messages now and they're turning their pain in the purpose. And so I'm like, don't keep that message to yourself. As you go through the healing,

you go out here and you heal the people. Speaking about healing and counseling, I got a session today. 430. I got one right there. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Then I'm doubling up. I got another one tomorrow to 10 a.m. I'm cutting the gym early. Right. That's how I stay the path. That's how I stay locked in. Still going to count. Still going to count. Yeah. I'm doing two weeks now. Don't play with it. You know what I'm saying? And when I tell Tracy, she was like, oh, you back with Dr.

No praise god. I'm like, damn. But for real, like I want to be in the weak lately. Yeah. Oh, oh, bro. I want to be in this lot. You still feel that I want to be strong and locked in as possible. That's it. Call the right. I told you we was in South Beach. You got a color. And uh, and, and, and, uh, we're so, oh, no, we're in South Beach. That's the last conference we had on South Beach. And he didn't tell Ely. I think you need to give

you a word. He was like, why? She was like, yeah, I caught you like, yeah, I'm gazing around the beach. Bro, I did it super. I put up for it. But uh, can I talk to the person that doesn't feel qualified? Oh, please, please. Yeah. So when I made that transition from talking about like success and achievements and accolades and all that type of stuff, talking about mental health, for a moment, I was like, but I don't have a degree in this. Like I'm not a therapist. Like I'm not, I'm not

licensed. Like maybe I shouldn't do this. And I'll never forget when an organizer asked I'm like, what did you pick me over somebody who this is what they do for a living? And they were like, because we want something real. Come on. Like we don't want a technical speech. Like we could, we could bring somebody's technical in. But when we hear like the struggles and the challenges that you have gone through and how you have overcome, that is more relatable than bringing somebody.

And then I realized that they're space in place for both. Yeah. Because I know sometimes some people are like, well, what is the qualification to be a professional speaker vulnerability? Come on. Yeah. A heart. A heart. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Um, man. I mean, but it's one thing. It's just go to show. I got a shot. You see, it just go to show how pure your heart is. We're not even talking about the millions of dollars being made from speaking.

And how we changing people's lives are here, bro. I can't just know. Just. No, no, no, no, bro. I can't, bro. So we have five different awards. Yeah. Oh, come on. Talk about it. So from the people in our community, just so y'all know, so you, but you see his heart. It's the message. It's the story. It's the ministry. It's a life changing, but friend. I've been saying friend now. Yeah. More than ninja. I've been saying friend. Yeah. I love it.

Friend. Don't get it twisted though. Like we've, there's a way now where we can help people once we see your hardest period, your teachers are right where you can really monetize your message. So, you know, we got the platinum award that we give every year that comes every year. That's all the people that make between 50 to $99,000 a year, which we had. How many people about? Right. It's dozens. Yeah. It's a lot of say dozens at least who went through and

made between 50 and 99. Then you got those to do 100,000 up to $249,000. That is the, that's the diamond award. And then you got those group of people that do from a quarter million to $499. That's the Sapphire award. Then you have the people in our community that do a half a million, 500,000 up to $999,000. That's the pinnacle award. And then you have those who's doing seven figures and up. That's our first one. Our first icon award.

Seven figures. Single two. Yeah. Young 28. 28 year old. My man named even 30 year, bro. So when I say we have the number one, come on. That's what I mean. Come on. Let me just brought the staff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it is in and let me take some. I tell Jeremy like, I don't really get irritated too often. But I see people selling speaker training programs. And let me tell you something. This is how you know if it's real or not. When you look at

their program and they go, I should I try this one or try this one. Do me a favor and look at them and go, all right, besides the person who's actually selling it to me, who else have they blown up? Hmm. Cool. If you can go to, okay, because I'm well, obviously we talk about from the top. Dr. Thomas, ET, Jeremy and Inky. Let's just go there. Just off the rip. That's our leadership of our program. You know, and then you go off of that and you got the coaches, just myself and

Krunk. I mean, we have an all star cast and then you have, y'all know about the people who, you know, maybe are, you know, doing it big, but they don't even know about the Edward the Shazers. And like you said, the Chris Singleton is Jim. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fendi. Bro, we made $166,000. This is first year speaking with zero experience. Yeah. It's been, it's been incredible. So, um, and we didn't just pray out. Can I just say this?

Yeah. I like to say this. We did not just pray our way. Yeah. Fendi didn't pray his way to $160,000. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? If he and Johnson didn't just pray her way there after a few months of the program, get a $75,000 contract. Yeah. She do hair for a living. Come on. But she realized like, man, what I'm doing, they hair on the outside. I'm speaking to someone inside. Yeah. We helped her create a program for young girls and schools. Now she's getting

programmed up the program off after off for, we didn't just pray our way. This is a framework. Yeah. I'm proud of that. Oh, so we, we pray in people. Yeah. We are praying people. No, not to mention we international now shut out to to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, crump working on the Middle East. So we're gonna be in the Middle East soon. And I can't wait for you out of here. Coach Crump's story at some point, man. He's got an amazing

story and amazing testimony. And man, he does an incredible job leading out the community. But I do want to tell y'all about the challenge we got. I'm excited about it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna be doing my dang on that joint. November 11 to the 13th. Yeah. Um, it's a three day challenge. Uh, Dr. Thomas, of course, uh, Jeremy, myself, um, we got some special guests. Shout out to Lord Tim Ross. Um,

we got some heavy hitters in the building. And uh, we are going to do a three day challenge. Tell them a little bit about the challenge. And then we're telling where they could sign up. Cause I know there's those of you out there that like, yo, see, I've been hearing you talk about it, but it's show time. I got to get active. Yeah. So it is a, um, it's a three day. So it's

called the six figure speaker virtual summit. So we're challenging you for three days to tap in with us in a me, Jesse, E T number one motivation speaking to where y'all know the vibes. Tim Ross, Laura Castleman, it's going to be epic three, four days. Well, not say four days, it's going to be the evening tap in with us for a couple of hours virtual virtual virtual virtual. You know, number two, speak s to s dot com. Yes, the number two, speak s to s to s dot com. Yes,

the number two, speak s to s dot com. But everything from the like the framework. So we've created a framework from start to finish. So it's one of the things to the reason why we call it a challenge, we're challenging people to spend three days with us. Yeah. Cause if you come Monday and Wednesday, it's cool, but you've missed Tuesday. Then you got to watch the recording. But it's something special about those that say, I'm going to tap in Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, because we teach

you simultaneously in a row in the flow. And so, um, yeah, speak s to s dot com. Um, November 11 through 13th, virtually watch it from the comfort of your home. I will tell you though, if you only have a smartphone, cool, but if you can be on your desktop, laptop or computer for this full virtual experience, that's how you want to experience it's going to be special. And again, for those of y'all who even thought about it or know that you got a message or just want to improve your speaking

or your reach and your related ability with people, whatever, um, speak s to s dot com. We've got a special website just for our podcast listeners. Yes. Go there. Go ahead. Yes. So I want to just say so many people send me DMs because they see us because we about to be in Cancun. Yes. Together. Masterminds. So people would be like, yo, how can I, how can I come to a mastermind? How can I get on stage with you in ET and Jessica? And I'm like, it starts with a virtual training. Yeah.

Like before you fly all across the country and join a mastermind. Yeah. Let's see if you really about that life like three days with us. You know, saying like people see like, yo, they win in the words and yo, you be putting people on stages and yo, I want to spend the weekend with y'all will spend three days from the comfort of your home. Yeah. Then we can see how we can build it out from there. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Um, shout out to my Patreon fan, my dear. Let y'all

as well. Shout out to our again to fight the super food green juice power to keeping this podcast powered up throughout the days. Go to identify that. I can use the promo code success 20% off your order for y'all newbies. Um, anybody, uh, let's, uh, Jess has a new podcast. Let's make sure you're going to follow that. And also your social media handles so that the people can, you know, who aren't familiar, you know, I'm saying for they know Jeremy's, you know, quite a few times.

But, um, yeah, and now let them know where to find you, Jess. Yeah. So the podcast, coast, Jess. So podcast is the finally heel podcast with Jessica Lundy. You can follow me at Jessica Lundy TV and at finally heel pod. Man, thank you, Jess, for coming on because you shared a lot today. How I didn't know how I didn't know all of this. Like, how I didn't know that she was saving it for the prime time. There's always a day. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. You say,

saving it for prime time, you know, say exclusive. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but no, seriously, thank you for coming on and sharing. And I know I'll be back with the knuckleheads next week. But this was a well needed reprieve for me, um, for you to bring that energy in. And again, I just, I knew a lot of this stuff, but to finally piece it together. And then now I already had a crazy amount of respect for you, the way you connect with our students, the way you help them with their key notes and

just keep them encouraged. Like, I don't be real. We got ET Jeremy, inky, myself, all the crump everybody in that joint. They'll be like, man, I just want to give big shots of coach Jess. So, you know, thank you for all you do. And then thank you for pushing through because, man, I mean, I tell you all the time, you're just getting started. Like for real. Like, I really, when I met Jess, I was like, oh, man, she like really got that like tab of the brown energy.

And I was like, yo, amazing things are coming for you because you have such a pure heart. You know what I'm saying? And the way you've been pouring into the community and everything, I know you always like, man, it was a dream come true to work with y'all. What's a dream come true for me to have individuals like yourself who come in and you selfless and you're a hard worker and you listen, you coachable. And then you coach others with that same heart. It's been amazing.

And the coach with you. So we look forward to welcoming those of you who are ready to join the community. Speak s2s.com speak s2s.com. Go sign up 11 through the 13th of November. It's going down. It's going. I can't wait. This is this is going to be our last challenge of the year. So, yeah, if you want to get yourself right, you thinking about what your 2025 plans could look like listen, 2025 could look totally different. It could look like the upgraded version of your life,

man, but you got to get around the right people. You got to get the right information from the right people. So Jeremy, any church announcements for you or anything you want to say, Jeremy Anderson, y'all know where to follow them, IG and all that good stuff, anything else. I see y'all November 11 through the 13th. If you ready, some of y'all might been watching it and you might

be inspired by our stories, but you're like, now you ain't trying to speak. Maybe you win that 90 percent, but if you win that 10 percent, like we're going to show you how to fight back, you don't like eat, say all the time, you don't went through the pain, you might as well get paid for. Yeah, and if y'all want to see Jeremy uncomfortable and you see him on the street, just say,

per. Thank you so much for rocking with us as always, right? We don't take it lightly, guys, and we hope that we've provided transformation and not just information, we want you to become the best version of yourself. Alright, make sure you check out the show notes to access all the important links and get your product discounts. Now, one favor we're asking of you, do us this favor, make sure you subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We want to know your feedback

on how we can serve you better. And if there's anyone that you think can benefit from listening to the show, please, I beg you, please share it with them and remember, as E always says, if you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful.