NSFW (sorta) A Dangling Faux Scrotum Will Get You a Ticket

The jav and Sandy Show on Austin's eighty station. What three point one. Well, if you're really missing the orange jim shorts and panty hose, good news for you sort of. Hooters is trying to make a comeback. They're trying to fight off bankruptcy by getting a family friendly makeover.

Interesting. They're three hundred million in debt. Last Oh my god, geez.

They last year they closed about forty locations in the United States. And what they're doing to make it more family friendly is dehooterizing.

They need to go to the opposite direction a little bit more, at least ditch the panty hose. Yeah. Yeah, there are there any around here anymore? I are I remember the one on Riverside.

I remember there is one. In fact, it wasn't a year and a half ago. A buddy of mine said, hey, you want to go to lunch. I'm like, sure, where you want to go? And he wrote back, Hooters round Rock right off of I thirty five.

Yes, wait, oh wait, this is okay. I'm seeing all the ones permanently closed. Permanently closed, the one in Central one. There was one on Riverside at some point, but I think you're right. There's still one in Round Rock yep. Yeah, still that one's still thriving. That's the only one around town, I think.

And this is really really the Hooters time of year for basketball and stuff during the March bad They used to do killer business there. But I think about it, guys, Hooters when it first started out, it was the like the original restaurant, right, but they got got a lot of competition over the years.

Yeah, they started at as the first one, but then people glombed onto it.

And that is a term restaurants restaurant.

Yeah, there's there's one in south Park Meadows, uh called Twin Peaks.

Yeah, yeah, Twin Peaks is one of them. The Tilted Kilt there used to be.

One, Yeah, I remember maybe maybe up and Round Rock too.

And right, remember the upside down one Bone Daddy's. That's where they cut full shirts but super super short shorts or bikini bottoms or something like that.

Right.

Scott Crossett coined that frame upside Down Hooters was the was the Bone Daddies One Boat. I don't know how that place went out of business. They were always packed and they had good barbecue there, they really did.

I would go in there. I loved it.

I went in there a few times.

It was good.

And then there was a rumor that I heard that that building on one eighty three was going to become a a We just mentioned a Peaks Twin Peaks place, right, so guys, guys will go, I guess I mean Hooters a struggling but.

Appearently and not enough guys are going in, So I think that's why they're like, if we can get them to bring their families in, they'll spend more money.

But then why even call yourself a Hooters.

At that point, I know you might as well go to Pluckers.

Right, might as well just be something else.

Yeah, they they did say that they they're not really saying exactly what they'd be changing to make it more PG family friendly. But I would bet you like Bikini Knight will be phased out, you know.

Yeah, that was a That was a time and a place where you take your young son there with this little mullet.

Remember there were some lawsuits I don't know back in the day because they were like they won't hire me because I'm not thin enough for my boots aren't big enough, or something like that.

Where you're playing it and then there was always that. There was always the head hooter and she or she was either pregnant or couldn't pass her TABC licensing and wore the white sweatshirt and stood at the front.

Wow that you know, that is terrifying.

That's my own theory really, But I remember the white long sleeve hoodie that they always wore. There were there were these places popping up. What was the place? The haircut place? One ay three in Lamar, little tiny place and they.

Scissors, yes, yes, yes, from Kim Fong, Yes exactly. Oh god, I forgot about that. But I would have never gone in there, I remember.

Not even out of curiosity. I went to see you went you don't even have hair.

I went with a friend of mine because I was super curious. And what lured me in was the beauty operators standing outside in their lingerie smoking cigarettes. It looked like a bordello. It looked like a bordello. It looked like a whorehouse in boys Town in Mexico. You want to cut your hair.

And there was a trend there for a while where it was girls in bikinis serving coffee.

Yes, yes, it's all Landman style. Remember that.

I want to see a chick and a bikini first thing in the morning.

Yep, anything.

There was one at six twenty two.

They had a little trailer there and they served they served coffee and bikinis.

I forgot that wasn't Landman, wasn't it.

Yeah, the big giant line around the corner as the workers were on their way out to the whale field. It's right, yeah, I remember watching that. I didn't know that was a thing. Landman was the first time I saw it. I was like, that is brilliant.

That probably today in like Midland probably still is a thing.

It could be a thing anywhere. I mean, you can get coffee anywhere. Think about it. You got to stand out somehow. I thought it was a brilliant idea. I didn't know it was a real thing.

It is.

I just wonder out what kind of cream you're getting put in coffee when you're what.

They just made a breast milk ice cream. Babes Espresso. You found it.

There is one Fuego Espresso in Midland. There you go, Oh my god, they got an Instagram page. Oh that's lingerie. That's not bikini. What's the Instagram page?

Uh? Fuego espresso.

So they went from bikini coffee to lingerie coffee. You know, we're one step away from naked coffee. That's gonna happen. Now, that's only progression.

Whoa, okay, oh.

Now I gotta look too, Waygo Coffee.

I found it. You know all the listeners are pulling it up too.

Let's all just let's just all take a technical break together, shall we?

Barred there?

Holy catfish.

These girls need to be careful when they're pouring hot coffee.

I know if it splashes. I didn't find the right one, y'all.

Fuego Coffee espresso, Fuego Espressdego espresso, because mine just had pictures of coffee and that's not fun.

Let's see.

Oh wow, so there's a few and whoa.

Can you lay down and serve coffee at the same time?

Yeah, that's that is not safe.

This girl Boomtown Babes. That's another Boomtown Babes is another one. Yeah, good lord Boo boom not Boomtown boom. Oh, it's hard to say boom and Town Babes espresso. It's a little pink drive up our story. Oh this ought to be good. It's a lingerie themed coffee chain founded in twenty thirteen by entrepreneur and coffee industry professional.

Nica Nica Gray.

There are now three locations total, including one on the Bachan oil Field in North Dakota and two in the Permian Basin and Odessa. This Boomtown Babes Espresso is solely owned by Nica. I mean Nice's knowledge and experience was cultivated in the city that produced the coffee chain Giants, Starbucks,

Because it's all dudes.

It's all dudes, all dude exactly.

Boomtown was introduced to the Bachan Basin during the peak of the economic boom, when the Guide to girl ratio was one hundred to one.

Wow.

Wow, But a butt is a big player in serving coffee there.

Your Butt Big Company was an overnight success story, garnering national media attention within four months of opening for business. Today, Boomtown has been featured in major outlets including Fortune, ABC News Broadcast, CNN, live on CNBC, CCTV Travel Channel US and Europe.

I think it's very funny that Fuego Espresso. The interior lighting of there, I think that's a little trailer. The interior lighting is a red light, just like the red light districts of Neon. Yeah, a lot of tattoos. This girl's gotten a huge tattoo on her right butt cheek of a spider web with a with a it's huge, with a black widow spider. And then on her forearm, which is resting on her hip is.

Jesus, balance, balance, and everything is important.

I just wasn't expecting you to Jesus.

Oh man, Well who I think you can choose your barista too, They got him listed.

I might go with either Jazz or Peach. I don't know, but yeah, the whole you can pick your.

Girl, Peach, that blonde girl, I believe, so, you know, we might be kind of laughing.

I bet they kill it on tips. Oh, I bet they did too. I bet they do. Makes you so much money.

The hardest thing for them is probably, you know, leaving the strip club at two in the morning, then getting up at five.

Stay warm, yeah, winter, stay at warm. It is right. Well, Hooter's.

Good luck to you as you as you dehooterize America's Hooters and try to stay in business. But good luck you better do a lot because you've got a lot of competition. One thing I would say, upgrade your menu a little bit, get ditch the ditch the panty hose.

Yeah, it's not bad. I mean, it's been a long time since I've been there. I remember it being pretty good.

The chicken wing business is tough, though, Yeah, there's a lot of money and chicken wings.

What really, Because there's a chicken wing business everywhere you go. Apparently anybody can sell chicken wings and they don't even have to be good.

I don't think it's tough.

What if we do a like the coffee, the chicken wing version of the coffee, with the drive up and the bikinis and the.

Whole Can you imagine trying to fry chicken in the lingerie?

Oh yeah, yeah, that's not a wings and lacy things.

Wings and.

Austin's eight station. What three point one? Well, it's that time of year where all kinds of different legislation gets proposed, and there's always some kind of funny laws that somebody somewhere is trying to get passed, right, and I think a lot of it is to gain notoriety to themselves, just to get some print or.

Get some yeah, some kind of story, low hanging fruit that doesn't really affect things too much.

Right, But there's a guy. Where's this guy from?

It's the governor of Idaho just signed this bill.

Oh they got passed. It got passed, he got signed. So I'm never thought about living in Idaho, but I like this.

I might. Well. Can you set it?

If you cross the line, the state line from Washington State into Idaho, you better be sure you take your truck nuts off.

That's right.

The governor has banned anything that represents genitals cannot be out in public, and just forget it basically is focusing on boobs, like artificial boobs, toyser products resembling genitals, and I think just forget measure he threw in things like truck nuts.

And actually mentioned name, mentioned by name. Gosh, you guys.

I mean, I'm a dude's dude, but even I'm a bit appalled when I pull up to a stop light and the truck in front of me has got a set hanging you know, what I mean.

Make them so realistic looking. It's nasty.

It's offensive when a squirrel is sporting.

I'm dude, I feel like we've talked for years how that is a very disproportionate body to.

Stuff ratio.

It's interesting, Like you go to the rodeo and it's like some of the hogs and stuff.

You're like whoa, and.

You have to try and look away and it's uncomfortable.

Yeah, I don't know how the squirrel can jump from one branch to another branch with that. I mean, it's really define physics here. But I've always joked if I value my life too much to Tricia, like I'm gonna get a pair of these truck nuts. I'm gonna put them on your truck, and I'm not going to tell you about it, and see how.

I would kill you.

I am so offended by them, engrossed out by them that the thought of me toodling around in my car that it keeps so clean and nice and neat and those are hanging on the back and I don't know it.

Oh, I would be furious with you, Sandy.

So what's the most is are truck nuts the most offensive thing you can put on your vehicle.

I mean, I think so more.

Than Calvin p and on.

Huh that was number two, A sticker of Calvin peeing on anything.

I think that's really gross too.

Any any human bodily functions or genitals, I don't think they to be on your car.

Yeah, truck nuts, I think it's gross.

It's pretty funny though. What about the what about the naked lady mudflaps?

Yeah?

I don't care about those, like on big trucks.

Yeah, classic, Yeah, that's kind of Betty boopish, right, yeah, girl, right.

But the problem with the truck nuts is, like again, they make them.

Look try and make them look so realistic, and they always look like old, like old man ones, right, you know what I mean? Super hangy, come on, nothing attractive about that.

Oh goodness. Wow, all right, there's a very strange conversation. I can't figure out how to end. I guys, just remember, if you're driving into Idaho, don't have your truck nuts on.

Hold on. But let me tell you this.

They can't put truck nuts in the actual wording. So in the bill it says that police can pull you over for dangling fox scrotums.

Oh, do you have any reason why you've been the cops, like any reason you have any idea why I pulled you over. No, well, sir, it's the dangling faux scrotum.

It all depends on how you say that. It comes off really funny. What are you doing, I'm dangling postcrotems.

It kind of sounds cool when you sound it like that.