Hysterical Harmless Conspiracy Theories

Father's Day was a good one. Up in here, up in here, up in here. It was a really good one. Actually. I got a gift card for a massage, which I will take advantage of.

Maybe later today.

And we went to breakfast, yeah, at our favorite diner, and had a good I could have eaten what my meal was.

I could have eaten again like another time.

No, like then a second round right gone back for seconds of all of that, I was just so hungry. Worked out with our daughter with Landry n I's daughter, Tricia slept in.

She's lazy.

Tricia and I daughter at the Tricianized Daughter. We worked out yesterday morning, which was great. I love working out with her.

Don't know why. It's just fun, you know what I mean, It's fun.

And the other prize that I got is a picture of me in my cowboy hat as a temporary tattoo.

Yep, and the grandy's face with a cowboy hat on. Yeah.

And the girls came in and they go, yeah, one more present for you, and I turned and looked and they're both making a muscle of their arm to show their bicep with the tattoo on the ice of my face. It's very funny, it's cool. How long you think it's gonna last?

I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. I know you're going out with some friends tonight. Are you going to cover that? No?

Marrying it proudly. I want people to to ask me about it.

That's funny. I was.

I was with my girls Friday night and in the pack that I ordered there was ten. So I was going to have each of the girls put one on their arm and take a photo and give that to you.

Also her Father's Day, Oh, put it on their boob.

I don't know if I could give gotten them to do that, but then it got late and I forgot to get them to do it. So you have me and Landry, you have one on, and then we have some left. We can just spread them around and randomly wear them.

Okay. Two questions, Yeah, one, how did you choose that photo? Because I had to find a good face photo. Okay, And I thought and I thought it was funny with the cow we had on? Okay too, where'd you get them?

I ordered them online like ink dot dot com something like that. There was an Instagram and Instagram advertisement for Father's Day. I mean they targeted it to Father's Day. You can do it anytime you want. Yeah, right, I think hilarious.

Bigger ones, I don't know. I don't think so. I was just wondering if you could get like a whole sleeve of them. Yeah, I don't think so. It's pretty cool. I mean you mean, like more more than just ten. These are fairly small. Were they two inches by two inches? I feel like they're normal tattoo size.

Right, But I just wonder if they're bigger. Maybe I don't want a bigger one. I just wanted to get bigger ones.

So very clever, clever girl Clegah movie is up from Jurassic Park, right before the Velociraptors eat them.

Yeah, there's you know, there's new one coming out.

You know they're predicting that it's going to make one hundred and twenty five million dollars on its opening weekend, which is July fourth.

Oh, thank you for that. Definitely going to see it.

I hope you guys had a as good a Father's Day and I did stick around.

We've got more coming up.

One three point one Austin, The Venetians are rising up against Jeff Bezos and Laurence Sanchez's wedding. They're not happy. Trisia's got the story in just a moment. Hey, this is kind of interesting. There was a study that came out that found it drinking sugar is worse than eating it because of how your body processes food versus liquids. Even in the same amount of sugar, soda is more likely to give you the diabetes than candy bars.

So drinking it is worse than eating it.

Yeah, to eat your Snickers bar and put your Coca Cola down. I saw a video. It's an old Southern thing, peanuts and a Coca Cola. I just can't get there.

No, I've heard about that too. I don't. I don't the peanuts do something.

To the flavor, or it's the cola makes the peanuts better to eat at the end.

I've known about it forever. I've just never have tried it. Why would you ruin a perfectly good Cocoala. It's old school, Yeah, it is, for sure.

The stories we love now coming to you from the Lesterhold Studio. My dear friend and pic from time to time. Tricia Delicia. All Right, Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos getting ready to get married.

Very soon coming up at the end of this month, and they're getting married in Venice, Italy, known as the City of Canals.

Did you know that, Sandy? I did know that.

They have the guys that sing when they push you around and stuff right.

Also, Venice, Italy sinking. Did you know that? I did not.

Yeah, it's sinking, the water levels arising. People are real worried about it. I would be anyway. The people who live in the city of Canal's not happy about the upcoming ceremony. There is actually an anti Bezos campaign. People are putting up posters all around Venice talking about how

I bet it is.

Yeah, clearly the posters and the people are mad about it. Aren't going to cause them to change the venue for their wedding, but the locals are certainly letting their voices be heard on the matter.

Yeah, I mean that.

Could really affect your business, you know. Unless you're one of the people that's getting business from Bezos wedding, you're pretty happy about it. Yeah, but I mean it's I would love to go there, but it does sound chaotic.

It does sound chaotic, and I mean the people I know who have gone there, they're like, it's beautiful, but I feel like they also are like a day you can see it in a day and get in, and I feel like the draw is the canals, the writing and the boats go to Vegas the same thing simulated. Well, well they've just got the whole that whole resort is all just go there.

Obviously not the same now they keep it from sinking, though, What in.

The world, I don't know. I want to go to Italy someday. I've never been there. I just want to go. But I will gain so much.

You'll eat all the food. I won't stop.

You'll eat all of the food. I mean, every single thing I could eat. It's all I'd want to do do today, Say I eat, yeah, sit right here and possible all day long. Yeah, I would love to do that, but I won't.

Don't do it. Unfortunately, you'd want to eat it and drink it with a coke for sure, all right, this is kind of fun.

I'm known to go down the rabbit hole of a conspiracy theory. I'm not fool on out there. You know, I'm not making YouTube videos about it. Put it that way. I'm not saying I've got the documents no one has seen. I'm not that guy, right, But just have some fun with conspiracy theories. There are some smaller, harmless theories that could hold a little bit of truth.

All right, all right, there's one on here that I know you one PC believe in, and there's one on here that I'm like, totally tracks make sense. What's the one I believe in?

The one you believe in is the idea that your phone's microphone is constantly on and it's listening for words to target advertising.

One hundred percent you do. I believe this, and I'm gonnaive you a great example of it. How it just happened over the weekend. I was listening to a podcast and the guys in the podcast were talking about how the CIA really uses masks like you see in Mission Impossible.

You know Tom Cruise rips the mask off. Yeah, you think he's one person?

Those are real. They really do do that. They've had great success with it. I went down the rabbit hole on it after I heard it. Next thing I know, in my Instagram feed, I'm seeing stuff about CIA masks.

You were looking at it on your phone or you were talking about it. I was listening to a podcast on your phone. Yes, and there you go. It's on your if it's on your phone, anywhere on your phone, right.

But it was just a It was not I think the whole podcast wasn't about that.

It was just a segment of the podcast, little little piece.

Of it that happened to me one time. I had a conversation about butter dishes. How often do you talk about a butter dish? My feed flooded with butter dish ads.

That's weird. I'm just saying.

The internet listing this one's kind oft is harmless and fun harmless. Conspiracy theory that the breasts at Starbucks are told to misspell customers name so people names, so people will post photos on social media giving Starbucks free.

Advertise about how funny their name their misspelled name is exactly that's funny. Here's one that if they don't do it, they should do it. Cops go on ways you know, like the GPS router maps app, and they leave notes about random police sightings to cause people to slow down.

With that actually having to stay and check on there. I believe that.

Yeah, really, I definitely believe that. What about the PEDA one? Did you see that?

I did not tell me?

Peters controlled opposition run by the meat industry designed to make the animal rights activists look ridiculous.

They're doing a really good job. They're doing it.

How about the area fifty one is a publicity step by the government to hide the real testing facility.

Oh, like a distraction outside of the gates there, but their actual facility is somewhere else.

The whole thing's just a big giant Flynn plan. That's funny. Never met anyone that ever worked there.

Oh, oh, here's one that I have heard. Yeah, this is where it gets a little crazy. You know the Disney movie Frozen. Yes, the reason this conspiracy theory says that the reason Disney came out with a movie called Frozen was so that when you googled Disney Frozen, you would get information about the movie and not websites that are talking about Walt Disney's body being frozen.

Have you heard that theory before.

I'm not until just this very second, but I know the theory that Disney's was frozen.

Yes, right, that Disney Frozen's body.

I can't imagine they would spend all that money to make a movie called frozen just to just distract from that.

It's never been yes or node on Disney right, like he was frozen. I don't know, I don't know. You want to hear the one that Disney wanted to be frozen, well, go ahead.

The one that I'm like, this explains a lot conspiracy theory.

Bigfoot is blurry in real life. It was never the camera's fault. That is hilarious meat to me, that's a one Bigfoot believer. Those are some harmless conspiracy theories. Those are fun.

I think everyone would imagine that if you move to a foreign country, there would be some things that you need to get used to culturally, things that are just different. And that's the case with the woman that moved to Austin from Austria, and she there's one thing in particular, she was aware that there would be cultural differences, but the one thing that she just can't get her brain around is a message that a lot of Texans send in their front yard or on their vehicle, and.

It is warning. It's a sign that says warning, protected by and then there is a drawing of a handgun and underneath it says we do not call nine to one one. This Austrian woman cannot get her brain around that. She's saying that there's culture shock to come back to the United States.

Definitely culture shock living in Texas. And she said, this is a sign that I see most in Texas neighborhood saying if you come to my house, I'm not going to call the cops, I'm going to shoot you.

And she is blown away by this.

Yeah, I mean, have you seen the videos on Instagram of its like I don't know a fighter jet or a Blackhawk helicopter, or NASCAR or a football stadium. And it says the European mind cannot comprehend this. They just can't get their brains around. Have you seen the ones that say protected by Magnum three fifty seven.

I've seen stuff like that.

Yeah, right, It's like, hey, I guess cultures are different, right, Yeah.

She said if I put this same sign in my front yard in Europe, the police would be there in a heartbeat. Really yes, yeah, wow.

I saw a clip recently of a Canadian police officer talking about he was telling the Canadians that you should not lock your doors to your home and just leave your key fobs inside the door because they're not there to rob you. They're there to steal your car, So just unlock the door and leave the key fob there make.

It easier for them to steal your stud.

And that clip and then that clip segues from him to a sheriff in Florida that says, if someone breaks in your house in the state of Florida, you have absolutely every right in the world to shoot them.

In fact, we prefer that you do shoot.

Them justice, right, so we don't have to mess with them. He literally said that, encouraging them to do it. So, boy, you got to be a fool to break into someone's house while.

They're at their home.

I mean, yeah, it's you're putting people in in a in a split second decision.

Yeah, and if you want to protect your family, right, you learn about this in your concealed class, right.

I did take his concealed class, and that, boy, if it teaches you anything, it teaches you not to use that gun unless your your or your family's life is threatened, and you know people will wave a gun over you know, you like road rage, which is stupid and illegal, waving your gun, doing a warning shot and waving your gun is illegal. Doing a warning shot in the air is illegal. The laws are in Texas anyway, are much more in your favor if you have to use your gun at night versus during the.

Day, just because it's just old, old, old Texas law.

And then the other interesting thing that they said that I thought was really interesting is even if you're in the right to shoot someone, you're probably going to spend many I'm twenty thousand dollars defending yourself, Oh wow, if you're totally right and everyone's going to go hey, he was defending his family. If it goes to court, you're gonna spend twenty grand. So don't have a problem with that if I'm defending my my life or my family life.

Right.

But he said, if someone's running out your door with a TV, is that worth twenty thousand dollars late in a month? Forget that you're shooting someone, right, it's you're in You have insurance if someone's breaking into or stealing your car. You have car insurance, right, yep? So do you want to go out there and shoot them?

Yeah? Probably not I want to, but I know I want to.

I probably would, you know what I mean though? It's really interesting. You know, if someone's you know, running, comes in trying to steal your computer, right.

What's it worth? Yeah? What if you just beat him up? At defending me? What if you just beat them up? I'm serious?

You don't shoot him to beat the hell out of Is that more problems?

I don't know. It was a concealed class, you know what I mean?

Any guy comes into your house and tries to steal your TV, Yeah, don't have a gun.

Yeah, but you beat the hell out of him. You're not gonna get in trouble for that.

Right, Point again at him to make a few friends and then take him down.

Hey, you snap a few fingers, you break a leg and knee into your house again?

Right, Yeah, tie him up and take a you know, a hammer to their knees, cut.

A finger off, make make him eat it.

Yeah, feed them their fingers, put them up their nose, take pictures of it and post it on social embarrassed live live stream it.

This guy tried to break into my house. Watch what I do with the pictures on the on your front fence to warn all the other people.

You might be thinking about the equivalent of like, yeah, like hanging the dead coyote on the fence post.

Right when I would set scorpions on fire on our front porch to send a message to the other scorp.

Put them on a little bamboo skewer. Put them at the front door.

Not scorpion friendly here. That might actually work.

You know, I told you I was going uh just the other day we were talking about how it was on this mosquito thing, all the different ways to combat mosquitos.

You know what one of them is.

Boy, we're going on here, but is there are these little uh on metal pins, these little handmade painted metallic dragonflies. Oh that scares them that you hang around your backyard and it scares off bugs.

So your scorpion thing could be Yeah, that's true. Maybe you should make some Tricia, go find some squirre little scorpion skewers. What if that's what makes us rich.

That's what I'm doing, mailing people scorpion skewers.

You stick with the latto, Yeah, my bad stick with the lotto Tricia, that'd be best for you.

It's the JB Sandy, so thanks for being with us.

Make sure if you're just joining us, you've missed quite a bit, so grab the podcast version of the show. Search JB and Sandy on the iHeartRadio app. More coming up on Austin's ads station one O three point one