All The Unusual Ways We Have Consumed Alcohol

I think everyone would imagine that if you move to a foreign country, there would be some things that you knew need to get used to culturally, things that are just different. And that's the case with the woman that moved to Austin from Austria, and she there's one thing in particular, she was aware that there would be cultural differences. But the one thing that she just can't get her brain around is a message that a lot of Texans send in their front yard or on their vehicle, and it is warning.

It's a sign that says warning, protected by and then there is a drawing of a handgun and underneath it says we do not call nine to one one.

This Austrian woman cannot get her brain around that.

She's saying that there's culture shock to come back to the United States. Definitely culture shock living in Texas. And she said, this is a sign that I see most in Texas neighborhoods saying if you come to my house, I'm not going to call the cop.

I'm going to shoot you. And she is blown away by this.

Yeah, I mean, have you seen the videos on Instagram of its Like I don't know a fighter Jet or a Blackhawk helicopter or NASCAR or a football stadium, and it says the European mind cannot comprehend this. They just can't get their brains around. Have you seen the ones that say protected by Magnum three fifty seven.

I've seen stuff like that.

Yeah right, It's like, hey, I guess cultures are different, right, Yeah.

She said if I put this same sign in my front yard in Europe, the police would be there in a heartbeat.

Really yes, yeah. Wow.

I saw a clip recently of a Canadian police officer talking about he was telling the Canadians that you should not lock your doors to your home and just leave your key fobs, oh yeah, inside the door, because they're not there to rob you.

They're there to steal your car. So just unlock the door and leave the key fob there.

Make it easier for them to steal your stuff.

And that clip and then that clip segues from him to a sheriff in Florida that says, if someone breaks in your house in the state of Florida, you have absolutely every right in the world to shoot them. In fact, we prefer that you do shoot them. Justice is right, so we don't have to mess with them. He literally said that, encouraging them to do it. So, boy, you got to be a fool to break into someone's house while.

They're at home.

I mean, yeah, it's you're putting people in in a in a split second decision sort of. And if you want to protect your family, right, you learn about this in your concealed class.

Right.

I did take his concealed class, and it, boy, if it teaches you anything, it teaches you not to use that gun unless your your or your family's life is threatened. And you know, people will wave a gun over you know, you know, like road rage, which is stupid and illegal. Yeah, waving your gun, doing a warning shot and waving your gun is illegal. Doing a warning shot in the air

Yeah?

Probably not I want to, but I know.

I want to. I probably would, you know what I mean?

Though? It's really interesting. You know, if someone's you know, running, comes in trying to steal your computer, what's it worth?

Yeah?

What if you just beat them up? What if you just beat them up? I'm serious? You don't shoot them to beat the hell out of it? Is that more problems?

I don't know. It was a concealed up class. Do you know what I mean?

Any guy comes into your house and tries to steal your TV, don't have a gun, but you beat the hell out of him.

You're not going to get in trouble for that, right point Again, at him to make a few friends and then take him down.

Hey, you snap a few fingers, you break.

A leg and knee into your house again, right, Yeah, Tie them up and take a you know, a hammer to their knee door, cut.

A finger off making make them eat it. Yeah, feed them their fingers, put them up their nose.

Take pictures of it, and post it on social embarrassed live live stream it.

This guy tried to break into my house. Watch what I did with the pictures on the on your front.

Fence to warn all the other people who might be thinking about the equivalent of like, yeah, like hanging the dead coyote on the fence post, right, like when I would set scorpions on fire on our front porch to send a message to the other scorret Then.

She put them on a little bamboo skewer, put them at the front door.

Not scorpion friendly here, That might actually work.

You know, I told you I was going, uh, just the other day, we're talking about how it is on this mosquito thing, all the different ways to combat mosquitos.

You know what one of them is.

Boy, we're going on here, but is there are these little on metal pins, these little handmade painted metallic dragonflies. Oh that scares them that you hang around your backyard and it scares off bugs.

So your scorpion thing.

Could be yeshow that's true.

Maybe you should make some, Tricia.

Go find some squirre little scorpion skewers. What if that's what makes us rich?

That's what I'm doing mail in people's scorpion skewers.

You stick with the lotto.

Yeah, my.

Stick with the lot, Tricia, that'd be best for you.

It's amazing how often Luby's comes up on the show.

There's only one left in Austin.

Our daughter and I were just talking about Luby's yesterday after her doctor's appointment.

Oh really yesterday? Yeah, which she's where's the Where's one eighty three and going towards the airport right on the other side of thirty five.

Yeah, just east of I thirty five there's a Loubies And their sign that they had out recently is pretty darn funny.

The sign on their marquis.

I don't know if they're if they're going after the going the El Arroyo route with this, or if this is just a one off on their marquee. But it says sweet iced tea ac works. Food's pretty good. Come on in, please come in bad We'll get me into the the Loubies for sure. Boy, Tricia loves Alubies. I am not a huge fan of the Loubies, but Tricia loves it.

I've been eating there since like four years old, three years old, same meal, one of two meals, every time, never deviated. Tell JB the kind of pie you get, whipped cheese pie. JB, Oh my god, it's like whipped cheese.

K does that sound good? All? I think?

Loubies or is probably the only place people eat jello.

Always there.

I would always get it because I feel like I want it. Then I wouldn't eat it. Loubi's is Jello's biggest commercial account right for sure.

Nowhere else where else maybe at the Golden Corral do they have Jello?

Maybe? I don't know.

But our daughter asked me the other day, she goes, have you ever been to a Golden Corral?

And I said, nope, I haven't.

But apparently they've upgraded their food, like they've made an effort to rebrand and yeah, get rid of the old Golden Corral image, and that their food's a little bit better, but she said that some of the boys that she goes to school with.

Go there a lot because it's all you can eat. They take them out teenage boys.

God.

I met a guy I think it was Golden Corral or something like that, and he was the new.

Chief marketing officer and I was chatting.

With him about it, and I was like, man, it's like, what do you do to turn that place around? And I think improving the food was one of them. And I was like, there was a time when like going to an Applebee's happy hour was it thing?

Yeah?

Yeah, like if you if you make it affordable, like the young people will find There's.

An old flashback for his JD not to throw you off story, Chelsea Street Pub.

In the in the mall. Yeah, people will find it if it's fun and good, right, oh wow and reasonable.

That's that's probably the last Long Island ice.

It was.

You know, it's Chelsea Street Pub at Barton Creek Mall. That's one of my claims to fame in my drinking career. I never had I never once in my life drink in my drink. Yeah. I never once did a Long Island iced tea pass my lips.

Never have one.

It's probably really best, which I'm surprised because it has all the alcohol in it.

I know it was a Yeah, that was that was the go to get hammered in your early twenties. We drink them there. We would drink them at ables fast as you could. Yeah, or or electric lemonade.

You guys, ever in your drinking careers, ever drink out of a fish bowl?

I drink punch out of a trash can.

Yeah, trash can punch in college for sure with ever clear ye all.

Yeah.

In fact, I think that it would double up. It was Chelsea Street.

Pub, That's what I was trying to remember where you got them?

Yeah, it probably was, or or anything in a lot of places in Norma used to do.

How about other Okay, we're playing ways. You've consumed alcohol for five hundred alleys. How about a yard.

A yard.

Long yards of beer?

Yea or dackery. He used to do those that.

This will give you this back when Draft Horse Pub used to do yards and half yards, you know remember that. I don't think they do anymore still there, that's one of the oldest places to hang out. It's funny. My daughter is moving just a few blocks. Oh wow, that's gonna be her local. I'm gonna have to introduce her to a draft horse. But anyhow, they would do yards and then like those are crazy, Like remember some of the festivals and down on Sixth Street and stuff that happened?

They did, they did nothing.

One that makes I've also never drank and it has to come in a certain form is the Moscow mule.

Yeah, it has to come in the copper.

Cup, right in one of those never had it?

I think that I one time did.

Uh?

What is it when you stand upside down on a keg?

A keg stand?

Keg stand? Yeah, and mine the track cone? I had had alcohol out of a traffic cone.

Ways to consume alcohol?

You and your friends line up and it's shot glasses attached to a.

Done it all right, I can play this game too. I can play this game too. Beer bong? Done it? Beer bongs? Ever done a beer bong?

I think so? Yeah? With the tube and the funnel and that's just.

A keg stand when you're upside down through a beer bong, right, No.

That's when you put your mouth on the tap. This is like a funnel at the top and a tube and if you had a few extra bucks, you would buy buy a valve. Hand all right, I got another one unless someone else does.

Go ahead.

Ice louge, done it. Ice louge is just a frozen ice slide, is all it is. And you put it's disgusting, but you put your mouth at the bottom of it, and then they pour the shot from the top of it down and you catch it with your mouth.

Done a body shut, done it?

Drink? Oh yeah, yeah, done that.

Done that a lot. That's so gross. Other ways to consume alcohol. Let's see, pool.

Noodles came into play a lot in the summer, kind of like the summer version of an ice luge.

Yeah, right down the end of a pool noodle.

Everybody has a shotgun, Yes, definitely, of course.

Shotguns defies all laws of physics in your body shotgutting a beer, it's fun, shoots it right down, it's incredible.

Yes you've done that.

Yes, I've done that.

I just find that surprising.

Really, Jack and Brittany, the cases and cases of beer that we drink.

I gotta tell a quick story about those two crazies. These are two Atricia's redneck friends, and so they came and stayed with us one weekend when we lived on the lake, and I knew that these girls could drink some beer, right, I mean they're professional, yeah, professional beer drinkers. And they drank Miller Light. So I went to the store and I got a case and a half of Miller Light. They arrived on Friday Saturday at about four thirty in the afternoon. I went and looked into the

I was impressed just what we did.

I was so impressed with it.

It was like our triple our triplet powers were activated when we were together. Yep, and there was we were bottomless pits for beer.

It was insane.

I know, it's amazing. You don't wig three hundred pounds.

I know it really is.

Ways to consume out okay, yes, yes, yes, test tubes oh.

Yeah, yes, and bars yes.

And the cocktail waitress would have it like in a whole step. Yes, like she was Pancho.

Right.

They did the Dallas night club all the time, and right behind her was the chicks selling roses.

Do you remember the.

Ways to consume alcohol on fire. Yes, you ate your alcohol?

How did we skip?

We just talked about jello shots not too long ago. We're like, is that still a thing? And people blew up our text line. They're like, yes it is. It's definitely a thing.

Ways to consume alcohol baseball hard hat with straws.

With the holder and a beer on either side.

Oh, you knew that guy was serious when you saw that guy who was there for real.

Needed to at a time, but couldn't be bothered to hold them.

That's folk, you know.

I tried to make I tried to do one once for for like going out on the lake. You might remember when I thought I was a genius, I called him vodka clementines.

I don't remember this. You know, the little clementine or oranges.

Oh you put it?

I would.

I was using a needle and injecting a shot of vodka into them and then just throw them in the cooler on ice.

So you get out on the lake.

You could just snack on these oranges.

Yeah, you're snacking and drinking all the night.

I was the only one who liked Were you telling other people that there was Yeah?

Those are vodka oranges. Yeah, you tell.

Her, like, what is wrong with you?

All right?

Last call for unusual ways to consume alcohol?

Anyone got one? Go once, I go.

When you're glad, when your your shot is on.

Fire, flaming.

Yes, it's the Jab and Sandy Show on Austin's Dad Station. What three point one and Austin Knight on redd and asked the following question, is pickleball dead?

Is pickleball dead?

He said that he recently moved back can't find any places to play. I'm like, how is that possible? It seems like there's pickleball fights everywhere. The tennis players and I think JB can really speak to this because his mother is a big time tennis player.

The tennis players, and they've replayed, they've taken some of the courts and given them.

The pickleball people are losing their minds.

Right, and so forgive me.

But as a pickle a pickle ball court is smaller than a tennis court, right, yes, yeah, okay, so they.

Just and it's and it's a hard paddle, right, And it's a hard kind of hard ball compared to a tennis Have you actually played and it it's no, it's the most. I'm not saying I won't play or won't try it.

I just never have. I just find it to be the most annoying sound.

It's fun. I've traded it five or six times. It's fun.

Aren't your neighbors playing driving you crazy with the sound?

No?

I have a friends who they have a huge Their neighbor has a huge property, like it's a few lots uh in Terrytown, and they put a pickleball court really far away from their house, right up against her back fence. My friend's back so she's just hearing and she has to listen to that into the wee hours of the night.

So we just know that.

I just put pickleball into my maps and within a seven mile radius, there are nine pickleball places to play. Oh okay, so I don't think it's dying.

Is that place now? I was.

I don't remember the details, but I was just reading about you know this guy that, and I think there's been several of them where they are going to build this mega complex for pickleball, and they took a bunch of investor money and ran in Austin and didn't didn't execute. I think one was near here, and one was in Austin, Like I can't remember. I was just reading about that. I think there's a lot of that going on. Here's somebody, there's somebody in Cedar p that is really really rolling

I think it's one of the things you can do right or is it all badminton?

Look it up?

Are they going for the top golf concept where you play and drink it's enormous, which I think is. But that's what I think is held pickleball. Like there's places like Bolden Acres in there. It's really a bar that happens to have a couple of courts right right.

Which speaks to young people that can't just hang out and drink like you like you're supposed to. They got to be doing something. You are doing something drinking and smoking. Get right, got top Shot?

That is my theory.

Like millennials and younger like, they were raised by parents that always had them entertaining always, so to just sit there and hang out.

And talk is like what right? Why would I do that? And stare at their phone?

So that's why you see these arcades blowing up, pickleball courts, blowing up things to do. Yep, that cider caade right near my neighborhood is packed on the weekend.

There's another what's the top shot?

Top shot? It's badminton, excuse me, and pickleball.

It's this huge complex with like twenty courts that you can play badminton and pickleball on the courts.

Okay, so it's not just bad too. I would bet you the pickleball is way more crowded than the bad neinton. Yeah, they use the same court apparently, Oh they do.

Yeah, okay, I have no desire to play either one.

The thirty thousand square foot facility, that's amazing, fourteen courts.

You know what.

Another big thing in that world too is indoor simulated golf. Yeah, the golf simulators. Oh yeah, that's a big deal.

I've seen some of these home versions that are starting to have come just with AI technology.

They come way way down in price. You know, of course they have. They've been out for twenty something years. But it's you hit the ball into a net and it can then it shows you the ball flying on the golf course that you're playing and you can play all the.

Face in a major golf course in the world.

Yeah, yeah, even is everything right down to you know, it's got Barton Creek on there on the which is pretty cool.

Yeah, that would be fun. That's a good drinking yeah, exactly, exactly, and it's great. It's somewhere of the bar right now.

If you just want to hit some golf balls, it's nice to do it in an air conditioned simulator. So anyway, and you can drink your cold beer or whatever. You can do that outside too.

Yeah, so they taste it in both places.

And Tricia's not much with a racket.

I'm not good.

I can't control where the ball goes when a racket's involved. I'm okay with pickleball, Yeah, I think because I updated a long distance the tennis, I can't.

I can't do it badminton, I can't do it. I don't know why.

Well, glad, it's funny that every everyone acts like pickleball is brand new, like in the last decade and right my daughter would go to Camp Longhorn and they had they've been playing pickleball at that camp since the fifties. Oh really, huh, Yeah, they've got pickleball court.

Wow.

And I believe that camp was started in the fifties. They've been playing it there forever. She I remember she you know your parents go toward it and she was showing us the pickleball courts.

That was fifteen years ago. Wow. I was like, oh, I didn't know that was you guys ever and they've been there forever. Did you guys ever play racquetball back in the day? I loved playing racket Yeah, I loved it all.

My friend's dad's played racketball.

I loved it.

It's fun, lensless, gogglies, respects respect.

And then hey, I played hand I played handball in college. That's a whole different game.

Friend, a friend of mine got me into it, and it was it was really very hard to learn.

Very We need to bring back butts up? Did you ever play butts up? JB next, just.

Need a tennis ball in a wall?

Yeah, we we call it buns up. And then there was a game a playground. We'd call it five hundred. I don't remember how you scored, but you were throwing it up against the brick wall. Yeah right, I don't remember those. We call it five hundred. And I think there was a buns up component to that. Our game you had to turn around.

Did you have to show your bottom to the to the to the players and they throw ball at it.

Yeah, if you got tapped or something, your punishment was going up hands against the wall with your butt sticking out and they all got to trying to hit you in the butt.

Imagine if the kids played that at school today. They never never allowed it.

I feel like there's some component of dodgeball, but you can't actually hit the other child with the ball upset them.

I remember kids in middle school being really into this and I bet Sandy was pitching pins.

Oh yeah in the bathroom.

Heck yeah, I'd kill them.

It's like bet and gambling.

Yeah, the teachers would lose their minds in that one, the administration because it's it is gambling.

But it's like we did a lot of that, and you had to We did it in the boy's bathroom or in the locker room, and if you came in during your free period or lunch period, you had to walk in and go cool.

That meant.

It wasn't the teacher because you heard the door open, and if you didn't say cool, then you're probably going to take a beat when you got it got into the bathroom.

So, oh, here's a good playground or on the bus. Childhood game that no one plays anymore. Pencil fighting.

Oh yeah, pencil at each other.

No, no, I can still do a snap. I can still do it like that. Remember you would go.

One person holds it and the other person flicks it, and some guys were really good at flicking it, and then you go, no bracing, no bracing.

Remember, you know what's amazing is jabie.

You were growing up in Texas and I was growing up in California and Nebraska.

But we played the same games. How did we find out about this? That was in internet?

Yeah?

How did we discover those things? But the number two rubber pencil was a tough one to break, right then? Some wise as wise ass would always show up with a husky pencil.

Do you remember those?

That was like good, no huskies, take your husky home.

I think I think.

I think pencil fighting died when when Calico had to head football?

Yeah, and so did the little diagonal football.

Oh, we hold your thumbs up for the.

Goal diamond football?

Yeah, paper football game?

Did you get in trouble for that?

Get in trouble for it.

I mean Lance Sloyd played one thousand games a day of that, right, I don't remember getting in trouble for it. I think you might be thinking of when we accidentally flicked a pickle into a lady's hair at Dan's hamber.

That's right, that's what you're thinking of now. The one game that we used to play outside. You can't say the name of it anymore because it's not politically correct. But all it sounds like smear the deer. It's what it sounds like.

Yeah, I know we're not we're not proud. We didn't know so, but that was That was basically a game of keep away where one person's trying to avoid.

Every exactly exactly.

You throw it up in the air, and for some reason you wanted the ball.

Right, it's the Jamie and Sandy. It made no sense at all.