Midgets! They muddle our mojitos, they muddle our margaritas and they’ve especially muddled this episode of the Round Table. Tune in to hear stories of muddling and more, including Stalin’s Area 51 Retard Plot and the return of your favorite segment and mine, Pedophile Corner! We’ve also got one of our favorites, Louis Katz, sitting in for our boy Eddie this week.
On this episode of The Round Table, Ben recounts his adventures after eating a tub of strawberry ice cream sprinkled with magic mushrooms on Saturday and talks about his recent foray into the world of diet pills, plus the rest of the gang discusses the end of the world, junior high fight clubs, and the porn collection of Osama Bin Laden.
It’s a special Mother’s Day edition of The Round Table! Tune in as Holden uses it as an excuse to be even creepier about his mother issues, plus we give our take on that Arab dude that died last week.
It’s a chill and relaxed episode of The Round Table on this, the most holy of days, Easter! Join us to hear tales of fast food horrors, why it pays to be a Nirvana fan, the skyrocketing rates of STDs among the senior population, and our most and least favorite music to listen to while having sex.
So some dumb bastard decided to let Jackie loose in a male strip club on Saturday night. The results? Terrifying. In addition to that, we’ve got conservatives in Lubbock, TX hosting an affirmative action bake sale, two traffic cops were busted in Los Angeles for appearing in a porn video on the clock and in uniform, and Eddie transfers his hate of Scientologists over to Hasids.
Holy hell, we’ve got a suicide at an open mic! Join us as we explore the obvious hilarity of the situation. We’ve also got Kevin fresh back from Florida with a wonderful story of mistaken identity which once again proves that he ain’t shit. Joining us in the Hut this week is Jermaine “Much Better Looking Comedian Than KB” Fowler and Nick Vatterott, who has been arrested an alarming number of times.
Whaling! The greatest hunt of all comes to the Round Table this week as we welcome special guest Ragnar Egilsson to dispel every single preconception you’ve ever had about Iceland. As far as the Table goes, Holden lords his most attractive member of Murderfist distinction over everyone, Ben tries to recover from a massively hallucinogenic weekend, Jackie gets stuck in a weird day-time talk show that only she is a part of, and Ed believes the Chinese have access to time travel.
That’s right, it’s our first ever live episode! Join us on stage (kinda) as Holden and Jackie finally realize how the weird and horrible things they say really are once they have to actually look at strangers while they say it, we discover our listeners are not as horrible of people as we are (or so they claim) and of course, murder and knives.
Now, normally we wouldn’t give two shits about a new Gandhi biography. However, a newly released book has revealed many Round Table worthy facts. More than we could ever ask for, in fact. In addition to that, Holden names his mother his favorite sponge, Ed calls for the death of multiple people, Kevin points out how terrible of a life Ben lives, and Ben talks about how terrible his life is.
It’s the hottest new league in sports: The RBL! Tune in to hear the endearing story of Ben’s foster brother making it the state championship and the poor boy’s romantic problems, plus Holden asks us just who the people are who made us the monsters we are today. Not surprisingly, most of the stories involve fights.
hey made it ! Well, I suppose I could say we made it. Murderfist, of which three members of the Round Table are in the group, did a 12 hour sketch marathon on Saturday. To match it, me and Ben did a 12 hour drinking marathon. Tune in to hear the day-after fallout. Plus, we’ve got number 1 fan and Ben’s college friend Dave Koehler in the studio! Ben once threw him through a window!
That’s right, we’re returning to what has oddly become one of our favorite subjects, breast milk! We’ve also got voodoo sex rituals, accidental racism (Maryland, Biggie, and Fried Chicken are involved), and our Oscar picks. They were done the night before the ceremony so tune in to hear how incredibly wrong we were with most of them.
Boners and breasts! Butts and bullying! We’ve got it all on this episode of The Round Table. Tune this week as Jackie further cements her reputation as the show’s resident psychotic, Ben tells us of his many, many in school suspensions, Holden gives us a boner story, Ed tells you how to score Xanax in Mexico, and Kevin explains why Cracker Day scared him even though he’s black. You don’t know what Cracker Day is either? Listen up to find out!
It’s Fight Night here at The Round Table! Tune in to hear about the almost-fight we got into on Saturday, tales of men getting thrown through windows, and an amazing story about a guy Ed knows who’s killed at least 20 people. We’ve also got a special Valentine’s Day segment from Holden! Ben speed dates the entire Table. It gets sexy.
Male breast reduction! It’s on the rise. Tip to all those potential steroid users out there: ya gotta work out, too. Otherwise, tits. In addition to that, Ben tells us about all the fast food restaurants he’s been fired from (many more than you would think), Kevin’s got a personal connection to the Super Bowl, Jackie names a dissected pig, Ed compares Silvio Berlusconi to Elvis, and Holden asks the crew about our potential last meals as it is likely that at least half of us will be facing execut...
They’re back! After conquering LA, the ‘Fisters have returned to the Round Table. Join us this episode as Kevin fucks up, Ben reveals yet another terrible thing from his past, Ed creates the best festival ever, Jackie stops the whole show in it’s tracks by saying yet another disgusting thing, I school everyone on all things postmortem, and Holden introduces the worst segment ever, Rape Stab Murder. We’ve also got Henry Zebrowski, Jesse Popp, and Kevin’s friend Calvin in the Chuckle Hut!
Especially us. Join us this episode as we discuss the Arizona assassinations, the astronomically high abortion rates in NYC, what each of us will do when The Rapture comes (May 21st), and who we would be if we could be anyone in the world for a day and what meals we will enjoy while inhabiting that person’s body Malkovich style.
The Round Table has a lot to be thankful for this year. While about half of us have had the worst year of our lives, the world has followed suit and given us stories much more horrible than our current predicaments. Laugh into the abyss, that’s what we say. What did the world give us at the end of this year? Serial killers, castrations, and Mailman Dave! Tune in to find out how it all turns out on this, the 26th episode of The Round Table of Gentlemen.
It’s a weird one. Holden, our creator of segments, saw it fit to put us all through the experience of sharing the things we’ve done that we’ve never told anyone about. You can imagine the skeletons all of us have in our closet. Add 24 dead baby seals and 15 minutes of masturbation memories and you’ve got this, the 25th episode of The Round Table of Gentlemen.
And a new catchphrase is created! Mee-ow. Anyway, join us this week as we discuss such diverse topics as Lee Harvey Oswald’s coffin, foot fetishes, and the latest in marital bestiality on this, the 24th episode of The Round Table of Gentlemen. Our Chuckle Hut this week includes the Too Cool for School’s Jason Saenz, the curmudgeonly Zach Sims, and the absolutely lovely Sharron Paul. It’s about time we had a classy lady in the room.
It’s a new catchphrase that possibly infringes on two trademarks, just in time for the end of the world as we know it! Kim Jong Il is at the end of his life and trying to take us all out with him, an actor hacked his mother to death for being the devil, and the TSA is exploding bags o’ piss all over the place. We’ve also got a very special Pedophile Corner in which we discuss a Texas priest who handled his molestation accusations in the worst way possible.
We had one Four Loko each. ONE. In fact, two of us halved a beverage. Tune in to hear us crawl out of our own skin. Causes Jackie to say things like, “I want to be ridden like a puppet.” This week’s news also brought us some of the sickest stories we’ve had in a while. Mix the two together and you have this, the 22nd episode of The Round Table of Gentlemen. Chuckle Hut members this week include stand-up comedy bad-aces Nick Turner and Mark Normand (two of the best in town), plus the King of Chuc...
Exorcists! Apparently this country has seen a sharp rise in demand for their services and it’s possible that Ben and Holden might need one. Either that or Ben is having tiny strokes. We’ve also got skydiving dog soldiers, scrotal hyperthermia, and more musings on these hoes today by Kevin on this, the 21st episode of The Round Table of Gentlemen.
Come join the Round Table on our 20th episode as we discuss in no particular order, virgin birth snakes, blackface, the election, and how running down the street while overweight will prompt people to throw full bags of food at you. Multiple testimonies prove it. Tune in til the end to hear not only a wonderful little segment from Holden which I have named “I Love You” but also a very one-sided arm-wrestling match with expert commentary from Ben.
On this episode of the Round Table of Gentlemen: GRAVE ROBBING RUSSIAN BEARS. I can’t think of anything better or anything that’s more fun to say. We’ve also got eye-witness accounts of The Rally To Restore Sanity as Ed, Holden, and myself were lucky enough to attend. Ed saw Nazi killers. Yeah! There’s also a very spoooky Chuckle Hut this week as we welcome back Chuckle Hut Member #1, Henry Zebrowski, and John Moreno from Murderfist. It doesn’t sound spooky. But it totally is.
This week Kevin stopped being human, Jackie became a worm or an insect depending on your point of view, a skydiver was convicted of murder and our theme of fiery Latina women continues as our biggest fan, Isadora, in cahoots with Ben, tells us what she really thinks about our man Holden. Shit gets personal.
The Latinas are pissed off and on a rampage this week. We got Miss Kentucky Latina fuckin’ up gas station attendants and pharmacists and we got Isadora from Mexico, our number one fan, all pissed off at Holden for saying Mexicans have sandy feet because they can’t afford shoes. Monkeys are stealing babies, too. Hide yours.
That’s just how they do it. Honestly, the longer this show goes on, the more sense Ben makes as a person. I’m not going to give it away, but Ben discusses at length a particular disturbing incident from his junior high years. Wisconsin. Jesus. It’s just fucked up.
Hoo boy. This is a Chuckle Hut to remember, as we welcome Ed’s mom into the basement on this, the 15th episode of The Round Table of Gentlemen. Did we hold back? No. No we didn’t. Did the episode somehow get more offensive than usual? Yes. Yes it did. Tune in to hear Mrs. Larson say such gems as, “How was the breastfeeding Eddie, was it good?”
Okay, so we started off trying to talk about something serious (Korans and the Ground Zero Mosque) and we ended up talking about rape chickens born out of Ben’s asshole, then we had a two-part Pedophile Corner which was followed by an in depth conversation about birth rape. Goddammit. Every fucking time.
