Stuck In An Elevator

have a number to call back on? As you can hear, Carolina is currently using the elevator telephone to call some local firefighters, police officers, maybe even a priest to read us our last rites because you guessed it, folks. We are currently stuck on an elevator. Uh. We are stuck in between the eighty six and eighty seven floors of the time X building. As you know, our podcast studio is on the floor. Uh, and we are We are

currently stuck. And I thank god. We were just returning from a field peace and so that's why I have we have audio equipment with us. Caroline is handling the situation. Yes, they said they'd call back in twenty with an update. I don't know. I guess we should just sit tight until then. So twenty minutes we're going to be in here. Yeah, most likely, Yeah, most likely twenty minutes. All right, Well,

that's just too bad. That's really too bad because we had, folks, we had President Jimmy Carter in the studio today and we were going to interview him on what he thinks on everything that's happened this year. Do we have word to Jimmy Carter to please? That's that's a little misleading. We have the president of the San Diego County Farm Bureau up in the studio, and coincidentally, his name happens to be Jimmy Carter, so it's not president, it's not

the President United States. And this year Jimmy Carter president. It's been a crazy one for him. My god, he had to rule on the San Diego Miniature Horse competition and let me tell you, there might have been checkered blankets and straw baskets, but that was no picnic. A

lot of tough decisions that day for Mr President Carter. Um. Everyone thought that Pippy long Stalking, a beautiful mayor with a chestnut Maine, was going to win, and it was actually the black beauty Napoleon who took home the blue ribbon. And it was a crazy night, crazy night, the anxiety, the fervor and the crowd. It just was elector. I broke up two fights and the headlines were crazy. Anyway. I try to stay out of politics. But that contest

was stolen, no question about it. Don't you think so, Caroline, I think it. That doesn't really matter. And so we are, Yes, we're just giving me, giving me a little Absolutely, we're going to move over a way. This man, we are just to the listener that we are. Also in the elevator stuck with us, are are two other people, Uh, sir, can I ask you your name? It's some one, thank you, Owen. And then this, uh, this lovely young woman over here. Maria was ape Parsinalia. I did not get that. You're

gonna have to you. Can you give that to me again? Me remember and the Loupez and my first lope medicine Lola, but Marilyn okay, but in English medicine Lola, obvious medicine, Lope. I'm gonna Marielyn Maria. I believe your name is Maria. I was in medicine, Lupe, my boy and Marilyn Sas Medicine, Loupe medicine, Lola. Oh, when do you speak Spanish? Because I don't. I don't. I think Carolina, I don't know. But welcome anyway. And where if I if I could

just ask where where are you? Where are you headed today? Headed to my therapist office? I have a therapy appointment. Oh and now you're stuck in an elevator. I saw her from claustrophobia. Oh, this is a nightmare. This is a living nightmare. Yeah, it's it's just it's hard to breathe and I'm just trying to not have a panic. I start to panic, folks. Just to describe, this is a very tight elevator. This elevator is four ft by eight feet UM and uh, very low ceiling. It's a

very cheaply made elevator. It looks like it's about a six ft ceiling. So we're it's a bit of a hot box. Yeah. The more you talk about it, the more I just sort of okay, we won't mention. Yeah, if everyone, thank you, madam, thank you, loop, thank you, Lope. Well, so here we are, we're just going to I guess we should just keep going with the show. We have

to bank this episode the best of it. Ut Okay, that was quite oh man ah all right, um everyone, all right, yeah, I feel like we dropped fifteen floors at least. Um, do we need to contact the authorities? Do you need to get back on the phone or I mean yeah, I can. First let me let me get to my restaurant review segment. Okay, let's just do that, all right, get that out of the way, because if

I forget to do it, we'll never get to it. Um. I am a man who likes a good, rare pile of meat and a sip from a crystal goblet now and then I'll even smoke one of those thin cigarettes worn Buffett passes around and circles at his men's only club. To put it simply, I like to indulge. So it's no wonder I enjoyed my two days at the cheesecake factory. You just keep leaning into me. Excuse me, A man is talking here, A man is doing his restaurant report. Sorry,

there's so little room in here. I know I'm doing my best drifting. Um. That was owen for those of you listening, uh, and to give you a visual of what Owen looks like he's about five ft tall, with one single strand of hair that has slipped down over his bald head. I have a full head of hair and two orange teeth, one on either side of his mouth. Perhaps that's why his voice sounds so weird. This is

just because he interrupted your Cheesecake Factor. Yes, yes, I stayed there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for two days. It's called investigative reporting, Carolina. Try it sometime in between your episodes of Mrs Maizel. It wasn't okay, So your cheesecake The Cheesecake Factor was an investigative piece. What did you discover? Are their employees paid for their wages? Is the food safety? I investigated a lot. They have a cheesecake sandwich, so I investigated that I'd like to try

cheesecake subs wherever I can. I especially airports because of all the different cultures that meet there. I investigated their shrimp scampy twice in the same day. I actually couldn't finish it, so I brought some with me. Oh my god, that's why it smells like warm shrimping here. That's exactly why I wear Yeah, that that might be the gumbo, I forget. I wanted to eat it on the road, so I just had them put it in a side

room cup. I'm gonna get sick. Hey, everyone needs to rely acts, all right, especially you owen Loope, trinquilo, tranquil, Relax, all relaxo. Okay, you've said your piece. Okay, I've lost my place in my restaurant review? Did I get to my review of the cheesecake kit? Hold on, take a wide brace, take a wide stance. Everyone. You're on my foot, I'm on your well, you're in between my legs loope. Please,

now is not the time for discouraging words. Can you just can you just finish this recording or whatever so we can just get out of your No, because this bobcast this once told me when I attacked his security guard, this show must go on. Did that really happen? Bad things happen, Carolina. It's not all sunshine and Fleet Fox's songs. Okay, God to think that we have President Jimmy Carter upstairs and I'm stuck in an elevator with these bozos. No offense, sir,

that is offensive. No offense, sir. No, you don't just get to say no, offense when you're being offensive. Um, it's not just doesn't just clear you of being offensive. So are you getting fitted for a wig today? No, I'm on my way to see my therapist. I already told you. Then, what sort of therapy are you working? Is it Freudan? I don't know if it's for it. I just have issues. I have claustrophobic, I have anxiety. And are you going to see a therapist as well? I?

Oh my god, it's hot in here, isn't it. The more you talk about it, the more. If you didn't move around so much, you're creating heat. Well, one thing we have to think about in the event that the authorities don't get here in time. I hate to jump to this conclusion, Um, but we will have to pick straws at one point for what to see if we're gonna have to kill one or the other to eat to survive. I don't think you because my bellies rumbling.

You have shrimp in your pocket. You brought shrimp, I know, but after I'm done with my shrimp and your gumbo and gambo. I don't even know why. It's just something. It's a long term thought down the road, if even for her for two days. It shouldn't have to come to killing someone. All right, Well we should think about it. I know we'll draw straws. Well, I'm not going to do that. If I had to pick someone at this point, I think it'd be owing. I know Judo, So good luck,

you look delicious. Well thank you. I sort of thank you. But I know Judo, So you're not going to eat me? That sounds like that sounds like a book your therapist would give you. I know Judo, So you're not going to eat me. U Ways to Cope through the Day by Dr Loewenstein. Have you ever seen a therapist? Do you know what they've been to? Therapy? Yes? How dare you? How dare you? It's very healthy thing to do. If you haven't done it, you should seeing a therapy. This

is very healthy. It's a good way to unbot My therapist is a walk on the beach collecting driftwood. How often do you do that? Not as much as I would like to. I saw a therapist wants you did? Well, that's good. I saw her in a supermarket. She was talking to her friend and mentioned her therapy practice. I thought to myself, Wow, I just saw a therapist. I technically saw a therapist. No, No, that's not seeing a therapist. Yes,

you you saw a THERAPI. When I see my therapist, I sit down with her for like an hour a week and we just go how I'm feeling. So you don't see a therapist. You stare at a therapist. Yeah, that's what you do. It's not just staring. I think what On is doing is a lot more emotional than that. Sounds like he's really going through some stuff. Well, I don't know if I needed sounds really depressed, and he sounds like, I mean, we don't need have to kill anything. Now,

what if President Jimmy Carter ever saw a therapist? Right not? I don't know. It's different for every bit, Bunny, I don't know if I need his opinion on that. Yeah, don't though, real quick to break the tension, Uh, I think we should do a lightning round real quick, just for the show. So lightning round go? What are we talking? I don't know how do you start a lightning round. I've never done a light Oh my god, we've got to get out of here. We either have to get

out of here or we have to eat someone. Did you have to do what what did you say about your PP? I don't know. I just was emotional. I just said I exclaimed things. I don't know what I said. What does anyone recall what they actually said? And screamed? Said? Whoa, whoa? I said, yeah, and I didn't. I'm not a child. Run It's okay. But if you needed to the bathroom, then we should figure something out. Never say, I would never mention my genitalia a high tent, high stakes moment

like this. This is like we're in towering inferno right now. As my therapist would say, sometimes, you know, stressful situations reveal something about ourselves, like maybe when you feared your life, you were really fearing your life of your penis or your ability to procreate. Your dad? Are your father? I am a father. Yes, we have a beautiful son, Walter. And so maybe you thinking of Wonter in a way when you're thinking about your life bluepe or do you

have children? Talking about Pep? Do you have children? That's what I asked, why it's a part of denis Ninos quadru four. Well she didn't say her Come on, baby no, baby, baby no, no? What about what are your feelings on al Nino? It is two in the end. This, Yeah, it's all pig Latin to me. My my Spanish basically breaks down to enchilada burrito, Jimmy charga. But I guess I don't know. It's interesting that it's all food based and it's something about it seems like you're was time.

Then what would your theroist this say about that? Well, that maybe you're trying to fill something inside of you that you know, you're always trying to put something in your body to fill a hole. Maybe that's there or um, you know that you always feel like you can never get enough. Is that something that you can relate that I'm never associated right? Well, I do. If I have a box of Oreo cookies in front of me, I'll go through the whole thing. Yeah, that sounds like, Yeah,

that sounds exactly what I'm talking about. And how do you feel when the box is empty at the end of the box? Do you feel stated, Yeah, that's actually a big problem in the office, that you'll go through a box of those marshmallow cookies, the with the Graham cracker and the marshmallow malam malamars do do you have have you heard of Malabar's before they is that? Wait did we just did we now go up ten floors? They moved up? At? What floor are we on? Now? I can't say. I mean, I mean, I don't know.

I mean we're either on the if we went down, we're probably like on the seventieth floor, sixty floor or something like that. Do you think maybe we've passed away and this is what heaven is? Like? Wow? Is this? This is it? Wow? Now I think I don't think this would be heaven. I don't for some reason, I think it would be not heaven if we were all stuck in an elevator together right now, and the way I feel right now, I don't feel like I'm in Baronites.

Here's the question, if you were in heaven, who three people in history you'd have dinner with? I'll go first stand Musual, Bows of the Clown and Little Richard. Okay, Carolina, Um, I guess my mom, um, my sister, and my new puppy Grandma. But they're still living. I know, but I just couldn't go to heaven without them. Loupe, No, no, no, really, I can keep no no, no, no, that's not helpful. Owen,

how would guess Mahatma Gandhi Um, Susan b. Anthony. I really would love to hear more about her, and I just a little Richard, I no, ok um like if a musician, maybe John Lennon, John Legend, John Legend, John Lennon, he was a Beatle from the Beatles. Is he married Chrissy Tigan. Oh, I loved Legend. I love John Legend too. Seems so nice and his wife is so pretty, and their babies pretty too, and they're outspoken, they're real advocates. Yeah,

do you like Do you like John Legend? Lupe Malmonos? No, no, no, the boy and I did. Why the what the What's with the fascination with John Legend. I don't have a fascination. I like John Legend, but I was talking about John Christmas Special. It was so good. I'm so glad this is finally taking my mind off the elevator. Do you like Christmas? Lupe? Guys, once again, I think we need

to get back at the survival mode. I think we need to discreetly turn from the other three in a rotation and collect our urine in some sort of receptacle, and then we will drink it to survive. I don't even think we're there yet. We've been here for fifteen minutes, but it has not been fifteen minutes. Okay, well it's been half an hour. Maybe that short. It's like a been a day. No, no, not at all, and we just had lunch. But just as a proactive measure, we

should store our urine. Is there something we can oh? And can I use your baseball cap? No? No, you can't use my baseball cap. And I use your purse? When are you look it? Ango and Elliott? Thank you? I appreciate that. So I'm gonna fill Loupe's purse full of my year in. I'll start first, Mason jar you brought in with you, not my bug collection. Get rid of the just shake out the bus. No, I was

showing these. These are my dragonflies. I'm gonna show to Jimmy Carter President, Jimmy Carter, al right, where you can put those in that towel right there and just have them there and use the jar? I can't. As soon as I in the jar, they will fly away. How are they're going to rest on this towel? I thought they were dead. They looked dead. Why is there a beach towel in the bottom of this. I don't know later. I just thought you said this was going to be

a regular day at the beach. Oh, that's right, we brought beach towels. I don't know if those dragonflies are alive. Did you put air holes on the top of that jar? Oh, survey says zero, meaning no, Yeah, I got that. You can use the mason jar then too. Okay, I will not urinate in your in your purse and your purse. I wonder if I could cocka in this mason jar because I kind of need the cock everyone. Could everyone please turn away? You have to. I think we need

to cut to parents. Let's cut two commercials. Welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. It is our ten uh here in the elevator. Has it been ten hours? It has been an hour, okay. I've had to rip apart um my jacket to tie over our faces round defecated. He tried to hit the mason jar. It's about he missed, if I would say half a foot. I got nervous because everyone was watching, and we just threw a beach towel over it. Um. Yeah, we're just trying to get through.

I believe It's beyond me that you would do this like it just you couldn't hold it. You are you a child? Like you can't. This is when you gotta go. You gotta go. That's not true. It is ninety eight degrees in here. It smells of shrimp gumbo and human feces sweat. It could be the worst day in my life. And more you talk about it feels like doesn't it feel like the walls are closing in. Stop saying stuff

like that. Please, it's just you're just it feels like we're in Alice in the looking glass and going through that little tiny doorway at the end, and it's getting smaller and smaller and smaller and small bag. Please, is your job being a communicator and understanding what your audience can respond to that? Right now, all the rules are throwing out the window. Okay, we are in survival mode. We have we have all nominated. Owen will be the first one that we eat if that time comes. I

really don't think it should. I don't think it should come to that. I mean, I didn't think that we should have to go the floor. May I ask you this question? Can I just as a sample bite into the back of your calf, and just to see if your calf meat is tender and delicious. I'll just know the answers know it won't be tender and delicious. So obviously missing his therapist, do you will you be charged

for your therapy session? Well, I hope not. I mean, I hope she understands that I stuck in an elevator. What is the meat? Carolina? Do you have any read on the media must be going crazy, ron Berger, and he's stuck in an elevator. I don't think the media is really paying attention to this issue. I mean, I think probably going to get a medal to get out of this alive. Maybe it wasn't necessarily you might get

a bill for that. The carpet on the bottom of the elevator, Yeah, that's it has soiled the carpet of the elevator because in my effort to a little bit of on my pant leg, in an effort to get it off, I stepped in it and smushed it more into the carpet. They just we all. I don't know why you're whatever audience listens to you. I don't know why they would want any of these specifics. Ron says, He likes to keep things one hundred with his audiences

and wants everything out on the open. LUPI, what's your relationship with Jimmy Carter? President Jimmy Carter drama? Despite his reputation, he really was a visionary if you think about it, I mean, outside of the hostage situation, which was just somewhat bad. Lucky you know, Middi's peace process, his views on environmentalism, conservation, solar panels on the White House pretty progressive, fellow huho and Gabo? Yes, and handsome unless what are

you saying? I'm handsome? No, myelia, thank you, I'm used to it now. Oh no, we're writing. Oh, here we go the elevator. Finally engaged, everyone can go. What a wonderful experience. This was amazing. I learned so much about all of you. Let's um, should we trade information? Well, no, I'm not gonna do that. I'm just excited and go my therapist. Whoa you have sex with your therapist? Yeah? Impaired to talk? Then afterwards, well, well, I'm not gonna say.

Because I'm a gentleman, I don't kiss and town. But yeah, okay, wow, there's a problem. Yeah, I'm gonna run and get some pine sail, and you're gonna clean this up yourself. Of course that's nice. I always have a motto, what is it When Ron Burgundy craps in public? He cleans it up. He doesn't let someone else clean it up. And that's not a metaphor that it's literal, it's literally. How the fact that it's a motto means that you've done it many times, many many, many many times. I never, I

never have ever timed out my personal bathroom schedule. I've always been terrible at that. But maybe just I don't know you very well. I don't know how you gotta go. You gotta go. Yeah, I just think that maybe that's the mottel you need to change. When you gotta go, you gotta go, because you don't always gotta go. When you gotta go, it's bad for the body to hold that stuff in. If it's a matter of ten fifteen minutes, I think it's okay, and yeah, it'll be fine. I've

pooped up the opera. I've pooped in a Charger game, UH popped pet kennels. I've pooped during a broadcast once what broadcast? It was just a six o'clock news. Oh my god, Loupe, thank you so much and lovely. That should be written on a eating card. Well, um, thank you all, go about your day. We should get out of this elevator. We'll be right back. Hello and welcome back to the Round Burgundy podcast. Carolina and I. We are safely, safely ensconced back in our studio here on

the ninety floor. And that was that was that was hair raising at times. You took a in that elevator, Yes, yes, yes I did. I still can't get over. It wasn't the first time, it won't be the last I saw you. I was reduced to my basic animal form, and because we must have been there for an hour and a half, but you know, the mind is not working in a rational, rational way, and I just thought, oh my god, if I keep this in my bow any longer, it's gonna kill me. So I just had to go. Yeah. I mean,

did you eat the rest of that gumbo? I did right after because I was starving. M And then what about the dragonflies? I totally forgot about the dragonflies. That was our field. Peace. Okay, Well, I know what I'll do. I'll go down to the hobby store, the hobby and Miniature store on the corner of Franklin and Barthoon, and I'll pick up some of those modeled dragonflies and I'll paint him with model paint and then we ken. Yeah,

I could just have them otherwise they're just dragonflies. Yeah. Well, like I said, we are currently back in the studio. I chugged a bottle of water and I'm currently recovering from what what was a crazy day. As we were just say, to put what I learned today into words would be too complicated and most of you out there would would never understand it. It would sound like gibberish or some exotic language. So signing off for now, folks. This is Ron Burgundy and guess what I Am going

to go see my therapist. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio podcast Network and Funnier Die. I'm Ron Burgundy. I'm the host, writer and executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. The show was also produced by Whitney Hodek, Jack O'Brien, Miles Gray, and Nick step Our executive producer is Mike farre Our consulting producer is Andrew Steve Our associate producer is Anna Hosnier,

Our writer is Jake Fogolis. Our production supervisor is Colin McDougall. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stump. See you next Thursday on the Ron Burgundy Podcast. No animals were harmful. Recording of this podcast h