Cyber Security

We are going to be talking about the Internet. And the Internet, for those of you who don't know, was originally created by the U. S. Military as a way for members of our armed forces to trade baking recipes with each other. M interesting since that first computer was connected to another computer by Alexander Graham Bell all the way back in two thousand four. The Internet has no doubt revolutionized the way our world works today and changed our daily lives. I like to call the Internet the

information super Highway. That's a phrase I invented myself last night as I was preparing research for this podcast. I had to do all the research myself because Carolina didn't fax any notes to me like I asked her to. I there are. There are so many things wrong with what you just said. There's so many factual errors. I just and you know what I did, fax you the notes for today's show. You did, Yeah, well maybe I

was out of fax paper. Ron. You really need to stop using that old fax machine that takes the curly paper that rolls up the ink gets all over your fingers. I've offered numerous times to get you something more modern. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fit it. But that that's the point it is, it's very broken. Well, whatever the point is, I think we can all agree on one thing. The Internet is here to stay, right sure, yeah, I will not going anywhere. However, it's never been more dangerous.

I don't like to contribute to the culture of fear, but the Internet is truly terrifying right now. Look at your children. They aren't safe, the elderly or at constant risk. And if you're going to use the Internet, you must take extreme caution. And that's why I'm so glad to have our guests today. His name is Richard Greenberg, and he's what's referred to as a cyber security expert, so he knows all the ins and outs of the mercurial intranet.

It's going to be fascinating. It doesn't have to sound so spooky to crack open his skull and figure out what swimming around and there right, Yeah, I'll be a basic interview. Crack that thing open with a ball peen hammer and pull out all the goop. No, but I mean metaphorically sure, it just sounds. On the other side of this wall is Richard Greenberg. It's yeah, he's waiting to just come to cyber security X. Let's make it sound more warm and professional. Man, he knows it all.

We'll be right back with our cyber security expert right after this commercial break, and welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Is Ron Burgundy and we are joined right now by our cyber are security expert, uh, Richard Greenberg. Richard, thank you for for joining us here on the podcast. My pleasure. Thanks for inviting me. Richard. Can I call you Dick? Do you go by Dick Greenberg? The last

person that did that had an unfortunate accident. Okay, but you can call me whatever you are now, I'm gonna call you Richard. I'm gonna I'm not gonna mess around with that stuff. Um Let me just start off by saying, what is a cyber security expert? For those listening, Well, we all know that the hackers are looking to get all of our data everywhere. Who are the hackers? Is that a musical group? Well, there are good hackers and bad hackers. We call them white hat and black hat.

Whoa okay, yeah, here we go. So the white hat hackers are the guys that look for vulnerabilities to try to help us identify where we're weak and what we could fix. The black hat hackers, the criminals, are the real ones who they want to get the good stuff. They're in a Stonier, in Russia and China, in a variety of different places, and they're trying to get our data because it's monetized. Every piece of information, credit card and social security, medical records has a value on the

doc market. So you're a cyber security expert. Um, do you carry a badge and a gun? Nope, that would be a physical security expert because it seems like you should have a badge and a gun with you at all times. You know, it's hard to shoot the internet. That's the problem because you're dealing with cyber criminals, but you're not seeing them. Yeah, they're kind of and we

call on in their in virtual space. Have you ever, by chance met one of these cyber criminals and like remembered their handle and been like, wait a minute, your soccer girl. Yeah, you look familiar to me, soccer girl twenty three. I haven't done that the other out there, though. Let's talk about passwords. I know those are important, right, Um, And of course I'm not talking about the old game show password. I was actually up to host that show,

but but they went with a real lightweight instead. Um, we don't need to get on that tangent. But I'm talking. I'm talking about the passwords you use for security purposes. Now, for myself, I just used the same password for everything in my life. Is that the right thing to do? Absolutely not. And as a matter of fact, tell me what it is and let's discuss it. I'm happy to It is eight oh oh eight five, which you know.

You know how I got that well, because if you type that into a calculator and you turn it upside down as spells boobs. Okay, so hilarious. Would you consider that a safe password? It's easy to remember, right, that's it. That's the good part. Yes, The bad part is that the black hat hackers now share tools, and they have ways where they can run scripts and computers and try thousands, hundreds of thousands, if you will, password combinations, just random letters,

and they would crack your password in about three seconds. No, I might take a minute, depends. Well I'll take that. I'll take those chances. Yeah, so you're saying it's not a safe password, not at all. And also you really can't have the same password in all your accounts because if one is broken, it's everything. It's curtains. As they say, they have the keys to your city. And I said it on the air here too. No, there's no way that boobe could still work. You know what, it's locked in.

It's locked into the old noggin. So do you want to take a minute and go change it? What would beat some other good passwords? Well we don't want to say those either, boobies. So one of the I can give you some advice please to help formulate one. And this is you know, blobes. Now what you could do better than a password? Oh cheechee, those are just words, so ron better than a password that means certain things. Oh but Zoomba's I'm sorry, Richard. Go ahead, that's okay,

I'm sorry, Richard. I see he's focused. Five passwords, ready to go? Okay, Yes, consider a pass phrase. So a combination of words such as ron burgundy is super duper. That's pretty long. Oh well maybe ron burgundy is super duper. You might remember that. Yeah, sure, remember that. So that's a combination of letters that would be hard for a computer to crackers. There's so many digits. Somebody, and then add some numbers on top of it. That would be good.

But make sure you can remember those numbers. So like ron burgundy is super duper. Okay, there you go. I think I got my new my new password. Okay, but don't tell anybody. Okay, So don't use that one. That was just an hypothetical exactly. Really don't use it. But don't use it. I can't think of another good one. I'll probably use that one. Let me ask you about the dark web. What is the dark web. It's the place where the black hat hackers operate. That's where they live. Yes,

they're they're there. They're deadly, and they want your stuff. And you can buy illegal narcotics and weapons on the dark web by anything you want. Really. Yeah, So hypothetically, if I wanted to access the dark web, and by let's say this is purely a hypothetical situation, qui ludes? Would you, Richard, would you be able to show me how to buy kuludes on the dark web? Qui lude still for sale? I don't know greenies? Greenies are amphetamines?

Never mind, well they might replaced those with more effective drugs. Okay, man demand, we'll cut this out of the podcast. Richard, can you give me some qui ludes regardless of whether it's with the Dark Web or not. Now that would kind of compromise my position. I appreciate your honesty. Yeah, I appreciate your honest but I can understand the sense a lot of people in my statue would say, sure, Ron,

I'll get you whatever you want. Thank you. Okay, I'm sorry, I can't help you, being a man of your word and integrity. Um, so, okay, I'll just have to go somewhere else. Hypothetically. So, I've heard all about the cyber bullying, right and and to my understanding, it's when you when you post something to the Internet and that that someone doesn't like, and that person will actually drive over to your house and punch you right in the face. Is

how do we protect ourselves against cyber bullies. Cyber bullies act out of immaturity or insecurity, or variety of other psychological things. It's the same thing in the real world. Um. You know, when I was a kid, I got beat up by a bully, and I'm sure are lots of people listening had the same experience. It's no different. It's only online. The problem with online it's one everybody can hear it and see it, and it's forever. Can't withdraw anything that's on the internet, So not just two or

three people standing around see or hear it. Everyone and everyone's social network will see it. You know what else is for forever? The diamond diamonds are forever. Let's move on, Kay Jeweler's um robots, but they are friends, our enemies. We'll just put it out there. So there's something called AI artificial intelligence that are built in which makes robots and other types of think for themselves more or less. They learn and they adapt right, and so the future

is unknown what these can do? Uh. There there is there's no use today really in cybersecurity. But I think down the road they will be. So how do we keep a lid on this? How do we make sure that the robots, you know, don't John Connor us it's a good question. That's more of a political question reference to the movie Terminator. Yes, there are reports that Alex says the Amazon tool we're laughing at their own and basically scoffing at them. Is that something to worry about.

I had a girlfriend named Alexa. She used to laugh at me. I'm sorry. I would tell her my secrets and you know what I wanted from the supermarket, and she would just laugh. That's Richard. Did you ever know an Alexa your childhood? No, I haven't. I'm sorry for your that's a story there. What were your secrets and your supermarket suggestions? Well, I would just daydream around the house and say, oh, I'd like three extra large T shirts, Um, a dozen bananas, you know, some new sheets. Oh yeah.

It was probably an interesting couple. It was. We were great to entrick party guests. And you know what her password was? Movies On the weekends, Richard, I like to mess around with my CB equipment. Um, you know, I have one in my truck. Uh, and I just drive around for hours talking to my pals. I've got the Muskrat, Howler, dan Zoid, Gruving, Gary, all good buddies in my convoy. And if if you're ever out on the road, my handle is frog Penis. Uh. That's a long it's a long,

funny story. I don't have time to get into anyway. Is my CB radio safe from hackers? CB is open so anybody can get on it, but there's not a whole lot you can do with it unless it's connected to one of your networks internally, which is most likely not the case. Some people are have actually done that. But if send your truck or your vehicle, then it's contained Roger that. Yeah, I'll tell you Richard. Sometimes I

can be a real ratchet, real ratchet John there. I'll be talking to Claw Humper, buzz Ball and Dr Nathaniel Fernald doing double nickels on the dimes and and hey, muskrat, what's your twenty next thing? You know? I got some Mama bear on my donkey. Okay, this is a cyber security expert. He doesn't work with CB radios. And I've told you before not everyone understands CBE radio LINGO. Come on, Carolina,

quit acting like a lot lizard. Okay, you teld me that a lot lizard is CB radio lingle for prostitute, and it is absolutely not okay to call me that. It also doesn't make any sense in this context. Ten four. That was out a line. I apologize, Richard gets it though. Ten four, ten four. See, I'm just glad internet hackers can't mess with my CB radio. That's that's a relief. Yeah, but that is an open line of communications. So watch

what you say or not. Yeah. So I don't want to get too political on this show, but as a cyber security expert, would you know how to set up something like stealing a presidential election in theory? Yes? Okay, what about an election to a co op board? Because I'm having a real hard time with my condo and I could I could use some help. Well, maybe you should talk to the people that might be a better approach. Yeah, just saying is this a money question? Because I don't

mind kicking in some scratch my friend. No, that's all right, condo board, if you're listening, we've got a black hat. Yeah, I gott I just bought myself a new black hat. There are times when I'm visiting certain websites. I'm gonna get into this delicately. Let's just say of an erotic nature, and all of a sudden, I'll get a million boxes popping up on my screen. One time, I got so frustrated I ended up throwing my computer out of the window of my den and it landed on my neighbor's

bacat and she was pretty sore about it. Any solutions to that problem, yeah, I get the really strong tempered glass windows. I didn't even think of that. That's that's a handy salute. Yeah. But the other thing you can do also is, you know, be careful when you go to the internet. There are certain applications you can download. They're called sandboxes, where they isolate the rest of your

computer from where you're going on the internet. Some people use them for banking that you could use them for the areas you were discussing as well. It's it's it's erotic art. I look at that's what that's honestly looking at erotic art. Christie's auction house online pop ups. All right, Well, he appreciates beautiful things in life. I guess Christie's a spelled k R y s t y s x X x um, let's talk about the terms and conditions that we'll see. Uh, you know that we all have to

sign when we go on to a certain thing. Now, I actually take the time to read every single word and then I sent it to my lawyer and they we go back and forth. He makes changes and and it you know, it takes forever, but I think it's worth it. Um. In general, do you think people should

be more careful with the terms and conditions on the Internet? Okay, So I would advise that people not waste their time with that, because basically all the internet providers are saying is we might get your stuff and we're happy and thank you, and we might sell it. And that's the unfortunate part. Well, now now there is rules in the European Union and they might come our way, which affords all of us a bit more control of our own

personal data. So, but my attorney charges me hourly, So when he's making all those changes and sending it back to the side, they're not listening. They're not taking any of it. I think they're filing it in the the

oval file cabinet. So you're saying it's a waste of time. Yeah, However, as long as we're on this subjecting the notice as we get when we download apps where they want access to your camera, they want acces, those are the ones yes, no, those are the ones you want to question and if you have the ability, because some of the apps won't work unless you say yes, others might and you can say no, I just want to give you the access

to what you need. Well, then why are we using all this mumbo jumbo if all they want to do is collect our data because it's convenient and it's fun. Right, It's a trade off. It is a it's a real trade off. And now alex is listening to us, not your girlfriend, but the computer label Richard. What's your first memory with a computer? You know, were you a little boy sitting in front of a computer and just saying, yep, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. And I will lose my virginity or

I won't, it doesn't matter. I love computers. Now I learned when there were main frames before the PCs. What's the main frame? Main frame is a big old computer taking up a huge space the large room. Oh like the IBM mainframes? There you go, yes, right, do you remember the old computer Commodore. Yes, the Commodore Commodore. Right, those are coming back, right. I don't think you would see those other than people with nostalgia just want to have them around. And what do you think is past

the iPhone? So what do you think is the next? Oh, that's a great question. Is it VR? Is it? What is the next? Well, I don't know. I think at some point people will elect to have the chip implanted. Oh my god. Well, people are getting chips installed now to protect themselves from kidnapping and a variety whether they hit their political in the office and certain questionable countries, the technologies there. I I paid for a chip to be implanted because you got lost one time. Did it help? Well,

it turns out it was a hundred dollar poker chip. Um, so it did nothing. The guy ripped me off. Yeah, because now when you're lost, they still there's your lost. Well also too, it's horribly infected. Find me note to self, have poker chip removed removed from neck from neck. Thank you. Steve Jobs. Pretty cool guy, right, Many people say yes. Some people say he was a little bit too intense tough to work with. He invented the Macintosh, the iPhone. But a lot of people don't know this. He invented

Mr microphone. Do you remember that? It was a toy microphone that you could hook up to your radio and it would broadcast your voice. So very cool. Steve Jobs a true pioneer. I don't think Steve Jobs invented the Mr microphone. Well, whoever did gets my utmost respect the inventor of Mr microphone? Is that how you got started in in this? You know, I got started by just

hanging around outside of news stations. And that was back in the day where you could just walk in and you know, have a good head of hair and firm handshake and get put on the air in a couple of weeks. So it's really changed. Um, but thank you, thank you for asking, Richard, have you ever invented anything? Uh? Now? Just better ways to work more efficiently. I brought up robots before, and I think I think you you had some good insight to that. But I'd be remiss if

I didn't ask sex robots. How close are we? I think they're there? WHOA, Well, I know where I can find him. So maybe you don't need to get the tempered glass after all. I'll just look them up on Christie's hard Auction website. Anyway, Richard, I think we are officially out of time. I'm officially out of questions here. I can't thank you enough for joining our podcast. Thank you for your your excellentes. Uh Caroline, I'm gonna give you the keys to my truck and if you could

pull it up front, that would be terrific. But don't touch my CB radio. Okay, do not get on there and open your mouth. We will be an embarrassment in front of my trucker buddies. Uh. Richard, thank you again for coming on the Ron Burgundy Podcast. I think you've informed a lot of people about how to be safe out there. Definitely, don't forget change that password. Well, no, I've already got it burned in my brain. What Ron Burgundy is a super sexy guy or something like that.

We'll figure it out later, all right, We'll be right back with a Ron Burgundy podcast after this, and we are back Ron Burgundy podcast. Uh Carolina. Yeah, I kept thinking what Richard said about the white hats and the black hats. I mean, what would you rather be a white hat or a black hat? A white hat, of course, it's the person protecting our information, protecting our data. But you're not intrigued a little bit about the dark internet and a black hat. You have a lot of power,

a lot of prestige. No, that's sort of the question between good and evil, right, Yeah, so I want to be good? What do you want to be? I want to be a white hat too. Okay, good, Okay, you don't have to look at me like that. I'm just curious. No, I'm just saying, though, black hat, no, white hat. Yes, I want to be a white hat too. I wonder if they're gray hats though, we're sort of like a light charcoal gray hat. Beautiful, Yes, felt a feather in it, a feather in it. It's like, is he or she

good or bad? Oh? The charcoal gray hat? You don't know? Well, I can put that on the list of potential screenplays that you asked me. Yes, perfect, thank you. Yeah, let's get an outline going on that, got it? Because I'm going to start writing Hollywood movies. We've we've talked about this. That's my goal for this new season, and at some point we will have a stage reading on the podcast of my manuscript I've written. I can't wait for that.

We are going to do that. By the way. One other thing about Richard, I mean, boy, he was not happy when I when I asked him if I could call him dick, and he said the last time he called I mean, that was spooky, that was aggressive. They were in a terrible accident. And did you notice, did you? I didn't notice it until the end of the interview. But he in his right hand, he put his hand on top of the table and he had brass knuckles. What does that mean? I mean, he had old fashioned

brass knuckles. Why would he's a cyber s I know it makes no sense. Well, he might be a killer. We don't know that. We cannot can't say that on air. You're right, However, I did know if he were to leap across the table and try to punch me with the brass knuckles, I was going to cushion the blow with your face. I don't But isn't that great? I was already thinking ahead of time that I would use you as a human shield because I would have gotten pummeled and you would have been fine. But that's why

I respect you so much. You're selfless. White hat attitude prevails. I don't know That's what I meant when I said I want to be a white hat. So so are you thinking you want to be a black hat? I don't want to go down for a black hat. Luke, I'm your father exactly. Remember what that was from Star Wars? I couldn't remember Star Wars or Raiders in the Last Dark. Doesn't matter. Let's follow up with Richard though, and Seapie really can't give me some coludes? Okay, well, we'll catch

you next Thursday. On The Ron Burgundy Podcast. This is Ron Burgundy saying, until next time, don't be a black hat. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio and Funnier Dat. I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producers are Jack O'Brien, Nick Stump, Miles Gray, and Whitneoda. Our executive producer is Mike Farren. Our consulting producer is Andrew Steele. Our coordinating producer is Colin mcdougland.

Our associate producers are Anna Hosnian and Sophie Lichterman. Our writer is Jake Vogelness. Our production coordinator is Hannah Jacobson. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stuff. Until next time, this is Ron Burgundy.