Call-In Show

going to take some callers. That's right. We finally figured out how the phone lines work in this dump, and we're interested in talking to the weirdos out there. You know what, I'm actually still unsure if we should do this. I mean, I don't know if I should let you talk to stranger? Why? Why? Why not? I mean, tell me one thing that could go wrong? I'm sorry, Um, so many things just hit my brain at once. Why

don't we start slow? We have some online followers who have written in questions they'd like your advice on, So let's just start there and then and we can see how you do. Alright, alright, and then after I can talk to the strangers on the phone, and Nick will let me press all the buttons in the control booth. You're not you know you you know you're not allowed in the booth. Fuck okay, I'm still not allowed in

the control booth. Listen, you're the one who got drunk, broke into our control booth and recorded yourself saying a bivity Bobby over John Coltrane music. And that was for three whole hours. Okay, yes, I know, I get it, Jesus, I remember I was there. By the way, we found a way to use that in the podcast. That could be a really good episode. It's unusable, you know. So Okay, we're also going to have some people writing in who asked for advice on our Twitter page. Okay, juicy extra

juice on that one, right, sure, extra juicy juicy? Yeah good. I mean, don't you think I give good advice? Caroline. I've given you amazing fashion advice in the past. You didn't give me fashion advice. You just threw my shoes out the window, and I actually had to walk to my car barefoot. Yes, I threw Carolina's birkenstocks out the window. That's true. And if you're looking for advice on your hairstyle, by the way, I have some. Do you think I need advice on my hairstyle? Mm hmmm, I would just

cut it a different way. What do you mean? Well, for one, I think you should go to a hair stylist. You know, you shouldn't cut your own hair anymore. I do. I don't cut my own hair. I go to a hair stylist. Oh okay. And how do they I mean, what sort of what sort of technique are they trained in? Are they Are they just putting a serving bowl on your head and cutting it around? Are they? Are they trained? Are they professionally trained? Or I don't have No, I

have a long body. That's not what I'm looking at. Is not a called a bowl cut? No, it's a bob. It's a long bob. Ah. I see. Um, you know what, Hey, let's do an ad break. Yeah, well yeah, let's just do an ad break. Um. I think that's best. We'll be right back answering all of your questions on the Run Burgundy Podcast after these messages. Babbity boppity bop bop babyyo a bop, and welcome back to the Run Burgundy Podcast.

Today we are going to do some audience participation. That's right. Now, I see that some of you have written to us on the internet asking for advice from your good old pal Ron. Yeah, we actually have quite a lot of questions to get through today. Okay, Well, everyone comes to me for advice, love advice, fashion advice, raccoon advice. You name it, so I'm kind of used to it. Um, what what's raccoon advice? Oh? You know, I give advice

on how to get them into your house and domesticate them. Great. Um, let's get to our first question. So at Kelly Caesar wants to know what does a handsome man do for his wife on their sixth wedding anniversary. First of all, good to know you're handsome. I'm handsome too, and uh and I'm glad we're talking handsome too handsome. So you have a sixth wedding anniversary and you want to do something special. What I would say is that women love surprises.

I mean, isn't that the truth? Can can you corroborate this, Carolina? That's true. I love a romantic surprise. I think a surprise getaway trip or even just flowers. So I think you should dress up as a devil. Are you listening? Dress up like Satan. Red costumes, the horns, little pitchfork, all of it. Paint your face red and die your eyebrows jet black. And now after that, I want you to hide in a cupboard one that your wife opens a lot, and then when she's least expecting it, jump

out at her. Now that's a surprise. Yes, no, what but women love surprises, you said, I said, no, she'll hate that. Um at Kelly Caesar, I recommend just giving her flowers and a card that's simple and lovely and I still surprise. Oh yeah, oh yeah, that sounds amazing. Your advice. Thank you put me right to sleep. Listen. You wrote in to ask me for advice, not Caroline. Okay, my advice says you dress up like Satan, So I'm okay. We have too much to get through for me to

address that. Okay, one down. Our next advice question comes from at frankie Ville. He says, is believing in zombies at age forty one. But I mean, really, really really believing in zombies? Is that a good or bad thing? Frankieville, Oh, franky Ville, It's rare that I meet someone who reads and stays informed. Yes, of course that's a good thing. You are staying alert, and yes, zombies are real and I am prepared for that zombie apocalypse. My friend will

be right there together, fighting the good fight. Nice to meet a fellow warrior out there. You know, I don't. I don't travel with a spare tire in my trunk, but I do travel with the crossbow. Oh my god. Okay, I'm going to now looking to take in that away from you. Okay, quickly. Our next question comes from at Audio, a gamer. He wrote, Hey, Ron, I'm thinking of buying a pet Emu or Lama. Can't really go wrong with either, but I like your advice. Do you have a preference? Okay,

at Audio the Gamer, which is a great handle. By the way, Carolina, you wouldn't be able to find by crossbow in my trunk because I have a false panel in the the top of the trunk. Okay, so well now I told you, But but you wanted me to know about your cool false panel. Yeah I kind of did. Okay, anyway, it's worth you finding it now now that you know that I built a false panel. Um. Okay, So back to h at Audio thinking of buying a pet emu

or alam em along. Okay, do you have experience with Well, look, I mean, I don't know how many times I have to say it, but my feelings are this, everyone should just look into getting a raccoon. You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna skip past Emu or Lama. They're easy, number one. They're easy to train, Okay. And my three raccoons get along with Baxter just fine. And I've even trained them

how to sort my recyclables from the trash. And every Thursday night they take my trash cans to my curb, and by god, every Friday morning they bring them back. And I mean, you know, I don't know what else to say. I don't think an emu or a llama is going to do that well. And I think you should just include that there's a huge risk of being infected with rabies when you have three raccoons living with you. Yes,

that's a good point to bring up. That's true. Sure, Okay, I'll include that you could get rabies in fact, a very high chance. Uh. And what else, I mean, any other problems with domesticating raccoons. I let's just go to the next question. At Jared's Stephan rode in. He says, me and my girlfriend are in the middle of a fight. What's something I can say that will end the dispute? Calmly m hmmm, Well, I'm glad you asked this, Jared.

You know, I love stopping a fight. I in fact, I always wanted to be one of those security guys on the you know Jerry Springer show, Carolina, you know who jumps in when is hitting the fan and just pulls the brawl apart. Yeah. So, you know, sometimes I break up a fight before it even happens. I'll just walk into crowded bars and I'll yell, hey, cool it. Oh wow. I mean I guess that could resolve a

dispute that's about to start. Okay, but this guy is just asking how to end an argument with his significant other, right again, great question. Listen, if you want your partner to remain calm, you have to remain calm. It takes two to tango. You know what. That's actually, that's that's good advice. I completely agree. Yeah, No, it's pretty simple, simple blueprint. I mean, you should just calmly say to your girlfriend in almost a whisper, Listen, honey, you're being

crazy Okay, you're losing your marbles. If you keep back in this way, you're gonna land yourself in the cuckoo's nest. No, absolutely not run. You cannot call women crazy? Well, then how should we tell them to calm down? No, you should never tell a woman to calm down? Well, then how will I let them know when they're being hysteria? Avoid all of these words, all of these sentences. Geez, you know, it's just it's so much easier dealing with

raccoons than it is dealing with people. Don't you agree? No? No? M m okay, well, okay, one more before the break. Okay. At Lunaco wrote in saying I'm thinking of picking up a new hobby. What do you recommend? Mm hmm, I mean besides reporting the news, drinking scotch, playing my flute, and engaging in discussion with my beloved dog Baxter, and all my of course, my raccoon business. Um, god, what else have I got? You have a son? You have

a son? Well, I would say my favorite hobby right now is teaching my raccoons how to knock on a door. They have to understand that you can't just walk into my room without knocking, that's rude, and they and they also they have to check if someone's in the bathroom before they go in for a tinkle. That's your hobby. Yep. Right after these messages, we'll be back with some guests calling into the studio. Stay tuned, you're listening to the what is it called the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Thank you,

and we're back with the Ron Burgundy Podcast. This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. We're actually having people call into the podcast, which when I first proposed this, everyone thought I was crazy, But look who's crazy now? I think we just didn't want you talking to strangers. We have real callers calling into the podcast, and the topics range from cheese to golfers

from the seventies and wolf dog hybrids. Those are three main topics, so polling data shows those are the three things that are most on people's They're called dinner table issues for folks, right Yeah, I don't know anyone who's speaking about wolf dog hybrids right now. We're types of cheeses, definitely types of cheeses. I don't know, um what the controversy or but golfers from the seventies that's subiquitous. I've literally never spoke in about that before. But we'll see.

I'm sure that I might be an outlier. You know, you were born an outlier. Thank you? Do we have a Do you have a caller on the line? Hi? We have a caller on the line. Who is this? This is Cally Speed Callie Speed. Nice. Hello, Kelly, this is Ron Burgundy. Thanks for calling into the podcast. Hello, Cally. Where are you calling from? New York, New York, New York City, New York City, the Bright Lights, City by the Bay, the Big Gay Apple. Yes, So, Kelly, what

would you like to talk about? Um? Cheese? I guess great, great, great, great, great topic. What are your thoughts? What's the deal with I think I like all cheese? Okay, So that's a that's a wide it's a wide spectrum. When when you see on a dessert menu fruit and cheese, plaite, are you like, why is this here? Lame? The fruit part, yes, But the cheese part, You're like, I'll get a block of cheese. All about it. Once I blacked out in college and opened up a drawer the next day and

there was just a rind of some free cheese. I'd eaten a pie slice of free cheese. What about government cheese? The government cheese program? Is that still an effect? Do we know? I'm I don't think so. Do you ever go to the supermarket at lunch time hoping they're going to have free cheese samples and then just gorge and leave without paying anything. There's actually the entire reason that I'm a Costco member. I was gonna say Costco samples

put handcuffs on me. Monterey Jack, Well, CALLI Kelly. Thank you for calling in. Thank you for expressing your love of cheese. Thank you. Do you have a position on the Wolf of Wall Street? Wolf Wall Street? Do you remember the scene where you ate all the cheese? Oh? Yeah, I love it too. Well, thank you, Kelly. We appreciate the call. Yeah, thank you. Take care of yourself. All right. That was Cally out of New York, New York. All right, who's our next color? Hello? This is John, John, Welcome

to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Thanks for calling in, John. This is Ron. I'm joined by Carolina. What's on your mind? Well, I wanted to talk to you about the Gulf from the Yes, I will tell you something. The tournaments today are lousy, not like the ones they had in the seventies. Amen, brother, you had Joe Garage Eola's Tucson Open, right, Glenn Campbell's Los Angeles Open, Dinah Shore's Desert Classic. Oh, Sammy Davis Jr. Is Hartford Open? Forget about it? And it was so

much better, Sam, Oh, oh, my goodness. Yeah. And j C. Sneed his nephew Chick Korea Seattle Open. Oh yes, yes, yes, oh my goodness. And competitions, Carolina, don't ruin the moment right now? Yeah? Yeah, what was your Who's your favorite golfer from the seventies, John, Oh, it's got to be. It's a tie. Either Hail Irwin because he had the great pants, right, he always had a great or the real athletic guys maybe like a Craig Stadler or Ray Floyd. Those guys were in shape, not like the ones today

all pretty boys. Yeah, those guys had a little bellies on him and weren't afraid to have a few pops after that closed out the round. Nineteenth hole is the only whole accounts, John, where are you calling from? I'm I live in Troy, New York, a New Yorker kind of yeah, up state or were it's like the tenth Burrow. You know, I'm gonna be in Troy next weekend. Maybe I stopped by and we watched some uh carry a devil bag full of VHS tapes. Do you have a

VHS player? We can watch some old golf footage. Yeah, I definitely do. I I love I prefer VHS. It's much easier, John. You we are cut from the same cloth, my friend. Oh do you remember the TC Chin double chip? That one though I don't remember tc Chin. He was a Chinese golfer and yeah, he was chipping the shot and it hit. He hit the ball twice in the air. He was disqualified. Look it up, TC TC Chin double Chip. Huh do you remember what tournament it was? That? A Major?

Or sure? I think it was a British Openish, Yes, it was a U S Open, so it's not really seventies. So oh yeah, never mind. Yeah, that's okay, that's okay. Well, John, thank you so much for calling in and uh gosh reminiscing. It was great to go down memory lane. Absolutely all right, go back to the bathroom. I will okay. Great bye John, Bye. That was excellent and you are you are a great mimic. Oh my New York accent. Thank you. I'm taking a speech class at the u c B. You know I

did it. I did a real double take when that New York accent came in. Right, You're like, who is this? Robert De Niro's amazing, wonderful Carolina. So who do we have next? Have any who's calling in now? Hi? Thanks Victoria, Victoria, thanks so much for calling into the Ron Burgundy Podcast. This is Victoria calling in. Hello, Victor A. Yeah, where are you calling in from? I'm calling in from New York, New York three for three. I want a hot dog.

I love pizza. I want to take the subway. They my bagel is stale Coney Island, Right, I have a pickle at the dinner. You ever been to Coney Island, Victoria? I have? I have? I Like, you know, you have to stop at Nathan's. You have to get your fries with cheese on them and the hot dog. Wait Nathan's that's where they have the hot dog eating contests. Oh yeah, have you ever been there to watch it? Um? I have?

I actually went one oh no on the television, But I've been there when it's not in hot dog eating time. I once saw Kobe Ashi in an airport and I was like, oh my god, it's Kobe Ashi. I was too nervous to say anything. I was like, this guy can eat eighty hot dogs and under five minutes. I should have challenged in the airport. I should have. You're right, I should have got too nervous. It's one of my great regrets, not spending time with Koba next time. So Victoria,

what what's on your mind? You know, I was just thinking I'm feeling your cheese, especially because we're talking about food. I work in food. Just thinking about all the different types of cheese and like what you can do with it. Like I just think, you know, you have cow cheese, like a sheep cheese, goat cheese, cat cheese, fake cheeses, yeah, probably camel. I'm sure people came mommy cheese from breastmelk. Yeah. I mean you could just really mix probably all the

cheeses and eat them all and never be sad. There's a rare Parisian cheese that I'm trying to think of that. I think it's literally like it's fifty an ounce um what is it starts with a v oh? Um? It comes in but you can also buy it in these slices, these plastic slices. Oh craft Velvita? Yes, have you ever come across that? You know a time or two. I had a slice of Velvita once and I thought I was walking on a cloud. Yeah. Was that the week

you went missing? That was the week I went missing? Yes? Yeah, Ron can chase that cheese down down the gutter? I was. I was in Lake Country, Wisconsin. If you chased it in New York, you would end up like in the subway with all of the rapt where's the L train? Here's the funny thing. Carolina is not from New York yet. It's uncanny, but you think I am? You do? Thank you. I'm New York and Georgia, so it's a bit of a weird match. So you're also from the sile. Where's

my coffee? Yes? Right by the way. You remember Mayor ed Cotch? Sure, yeah, I do. We just want to make sure, okay good because he used to walk around and say how am I doing right? We just thought that was all right. Well, it was so nice. Thank you for calling in Victoria. You are a delight. Thank you for your knowledge. Thank you. Take care of bym I should we take another call? What do we have on the line? Hello, Ron Burgundy Podcast. Yes, you're calling

into the Ron Burgundy Yes. Who who is this? This is Nick Webb from Bedford, Indiana. Bedford, Indiana. What part of the state are you located in? Um, We're in the southern part of the state, in the center directly below Bloomington where Indiana University is. Oh right, yeah, home of the movie Aching Away. Yes, yes, absolutely, I love that movie. Fantastic A bunch of lovable losers on bicycles, right, that's right in the Little five hundred or something like that.

It is the Little five still have it every year they do. Oh, I thought I thought it got canceled because of the rioting. Fair amount of riding. That's a big part of it for sure. Oh, that's just the fun of it, right, that's the draw Nick. What's on your mind today? Um? I was. I was hoping to talk to talk about cheese. Mine was a specific concern I have surrounding goat cheese. Have a fair amount of anxiety about goat cheese, and I wondered if if Ron

shared those concerns. Well, where where does your anxiety lie? You just you don't like the taste of it. No, I that's that's part of it. That's where the guilt comes. And I love the taste. The goat is just a filthy animal. There's the the beards and the horn that's spastic jumping. I guess I don't. I don't trust it, and it makes me a little anxious about the cheese. Well are you Are you making your own cheese from goats? Are you around them? I try to steer clear of

a goat if possible, but I know where it comes from. Well, there's that old thing, never trust a goat. I mean, I share your concerned. I mean I I don't even think it's a real cheese. You know, if we're really talking about it, it definitely is. Oh okay, it is delicious. I have to admit that. And I wonder if some of the menace that I feel towards the goat is what makes it taste so good to me. And then

I feel a little guilt. Okay, so you're going on a hot date, take her back to your place, her place, and she says, I have a log of goat cheese. Is that this plus or minus? Um? Are you excited? Rust her? I find her dangerous. I think at that point I find her dangerous and that makes me probably like her. Mord Yeah, a little seductive there, right, mamba number five, right right. It's so funny. I'm sure have you ever read a hot Havanna Knites but Daniel Steele novel,

it's just a great read to get your mind off stuff. Um, pretty pretty racy, pretty racy stuff. There's a character for the woman. She's obsessed with goat cheese, and she keeps luring all her suitors into her studio apartment log of one bite. And then the final climactic scene of the book, she bludgeons her lover with this log of of goat cheese and then eats the evidence. You so you've read it? Oh well, why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?

We wouldn't have described the whole book? Yeah, I hate I hope I didn't ruin it for anybody out there. No, we're trying to get I'm finding so many people aren't familiar with this one work of hers, So I think the more we can get the word out, the better. It's true, it's true. Nick. Do you like accents? I do? This is my accent for someone from Bedford, Indiana for Indiana. Okay, how are you? Isn't that uncanny? That's pretty good. I mean Carolina doesn't have she doesn't have a lot of talents.

She's like a she's like a plow horse. But this is your real shining moment. You got these voices down. Well, Yes, it's hard to be on all the time. And yes, I sometimes feel more comfortable performing as someone else. And yes it's hard sometimes when I'm recognized in the street because my job is to imitate the other weight. You're getting recognized now for doing voices. Not really, but I'm just seeing that. Are you doing voice over work on

the side? Is this something we need to talk about. No, I'm contractually obligated to only yes, you are, which is why I'm here, and that's why we keep your contract stapled to the wall, well one framed in one staple. Uh. Nick, we can't thank you enough for calling into Ron Burgundy podcast. Uh. I think you express a very typical feeling about goat cheese, kind of a love hate. Well I appreciate that. Thanks very much. All Right, Thanks that was Nick from Indiana. Alright,

let's let's take another call. Thank you for calling into the Ron Burgundy podcast. This is Ron. Who who are we talking with? Hi? My name is Kara Hii Chara. Do you spell that with a K or A C, C A R A and then of course the silent X on the end. Yes, that's what I thought, Kara. I where and where? Where are you calling in from? Atlanta, Georgia? Oh? Dirty, dirty, south Hotlanta? I like to call it. Have you ever heard that phrase before? Yeah? We try to talk people

out of using that phrase. Oh, I thought i'd made it up. Why do you Why shouldn't we use Yeah? Why should we not use that? I don't know. Maybe it got played out in the nineties Atlanta, Atlanta. Do not use t L now? Oh the A t L because I think just the letters, you know, maybe the airport? Oh t right, Atlanta? Tayay got it? So what subject are you interested in talking about? Um? I guess cheese. Well you don't sound that excited, though. Do you have

a passion for anything? I don't know anything about golfers from the nineteen Stephant. I'm sure you do. And I didn't know that there was such thing as a dog wolf hybrid. They're out there, trust me. You know where they mostly congregate where Stone Mountain, see Carolina, I know stuff. And I made Kara laugh. So stop saying that I'm a boring old cuss. I never said that anyway. I love my Georgia references Stone Mountains, Mountain, and also that's my only one I have. Sorry, what do you recommend

if we're visiting eight day t L Where? Where should we go? Where should we go? Oh? Beauford Highway it's the best food. Oh it's a restaurant. It's not an actual highway. No, it's a highway, but it's known. It's like an international district of I mean Vietnamese food and Cambodian food, and Mexican and Al Salvadorian and anything everything you can ever imagine. What if you're in Buford Highway and you hate all those types of foods you just listed. Um,

is there a waffle house close by? Oh? Yes, okay, good muff So, Carol, what obviously you've eaten cheese before? I'm assuming? Oh yeah, I like cheese. Are are you familiar with a Mexican treat called the quisadilla salla bounce off those elves quisadilla sada. Yeah, I bet you could get a case ada on Buford Highway. Okay, well maybe I will go to Beauford Highway. Top three favorite cheeses. Yes, don't overthink it, whatever is in your head. Yeah, gotta

um del havardil Havardi. Third final cheese Blue Did you get it in time? Yes, Blue del Havardi. It sounds like a seventies golfer. It does sound it's like a seventies golfer. It's really good on Hamburgers. Good to know, good to know. I rarely hear about a cheese. I'm not familiar with Delavarti. You're at seventeen. A little bit of a left or right brick. Delavarti reeks of cheese. Do you know what we mean? And he misses the button.

I was pretending to be a golf announcer. Oh yeah, thanks for standing by with well, you know you're supposed to be quiet during the golf. That's right. You have to still playing my part, right, Thank you, thank you. Um let me ask you this question. When I think of cheese, I think of all the French cheeses. Um, have you ever been to France? Yes? You have? Um? I mean, did you not like it. I feel like you don't like I mean, the people aren't super I

mean I went to Paris. The people aren't super friendly. I'm with your sister, but I mean you can, I mean you you can get them to talk to you, but you won't. You're not going back anytime soon. First, you're not going back anytime soon, no problem. But the food if you're in Paris, though, you need to be eating pastries. I probably ate my weight and croissants and macrobons, any clears and all that. When I went to Paris. I gained ten pounds just stepping off the plane. Yeah.

I don't remember if I ate any cheese when I was in Paris. Did you hear my joke though, Karen, Yes, okay, shared it? Okay, Yeah, I heard it. Um, okay, Well, thank you for thank you. Okay, y'all have a good day. Well, thanks to all of our colors. That was a real cross section of America there between people who are interested in dog wolf hypereads to men who can list off some of these golfers, and you know, generally people who like cheese. Well, we'll have my final thoughts right after

these messages. Yeah, okay, so that was our Audience Participation episode. Uh, listen to Carolina. I like talking to strangers just as much as the next guy. Now you should you shouldn't talk to strangers, And I don't. I don't mean people in general shouldn't. I mean you specifically shouldn't. People were saying such weird stuff, right, I mean these people across the country. You're obsessed with cheese. It seems like it's all people want to talk about nowadays. Enough talk about cheese.

You know, we should We should be talking about politics more. No, cheese was one of our topics. You're kidding me. I'm not. You said it was one of our topics like thirty minutes ago. Oh well, still, some people are just going on and on, and I just thought, you have nothing better to talk about than go cheese? And did you realize that nobody, not one person, brought up raccoons. I realized that, and you knew what I wish we had

talked about more. Danielle Steel's Hot Havana Nights. Why because my book club just finished it and I can think of nothing else. You have a book club. You weren't supposed to know that. No, it's fine. I mean, who's in it? Uh, well, um, nobody really, I mean, you know, like Nick, you know Nick in the sound booth, Whitney, one of our producers, Jack the other producer, Um, who else? Oh the parking attendant who doesn't like you? You don't want to know the rest. That sounds like you invited

everyone from our office into your book club shot. You put that together in a second, didn't you. Yes, Yeah, anyway, I have a new saying, enough about cheese, more steel, Danielle Steele, that is. And in the words of Danielle Steele, this is one of my favorite quotes of hers. No pictures. Please, sir, you need to back up. I heard that straight from the horse's mouth. Truly inspiring. Well that's it for our audience participation episode. Carolina is drooling a little, so I

know it's snack time. Good day, folks, and see you next time on The Ron Burgundy Podcast. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio and Funnier Day. I'm Ron Burgundy, the host, writer and executive producer. Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producers are Jack O'Brien, Nick Stump, Myles Gray, and Whitney odak Our executive producer is Mike fare Our consulting producer is Andrew Steele. Our coordinating producer is Allen mcnopel. Our associate

producers are Anna Hosnier and Sophie Lichterman. Our writer is Jake foglemist Our production coordinator is Hannah Jacobson. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stuff. Until next time, this is Ron burgundy