The Rising Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Terrestriid islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to
the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This is the podcast for ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things.
What's so great about self awareness is that, yes, we understand ourselves better, but the flip side of that is that we also understand others better. And when it comes to communication, which is usually a two way fee to or more waiting, we can really sort of understand what that other person is trying to say to us.
Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conca podcast. It is your host Georgie Stevenson, lawyer turned entrepreneur, business owner, New Mum or The Things. Today we are chatting to best selling author Giordana Levin. Jordana believes that our haa moments are contagious and self awareness is your greatest superpower. Geordana is the author of three amazing books, Make It Happen, Make You Happen, and Hire Love. I've read them all
and they're so so good. We've actually had Jordana on the potty years ago where we chatted about her first book, which is all about manifesting. I'll make sure to link it because I know you guys will love that one too. So today we chat about all things self awareness, strengthening your intuition, and how we can improve our communication to best express our most authentic self. It was such a lovely chat and I honestly cannot wait for you guys to hear it. But before we get into the episode,
a little weekly update. If you haven't listened to Friday's episode, which you should, we told you guys that we have beautiful rn C affirmations that you can download. Of course, they're esthetically pleasing, they're completely free. All you have to do is go to the website, which is just Georgie Stevenson dot net and you can download them straight to your phone and there's seven beautiful affirmations. I know you
guys will love them. They're quite fun. We also did a sneaky shoot for rn C for something we have for you guys coming up. I cannot say anymore. Teas giving me eyes. Should we just tell them no? And gotcha, go ahead dell them no. Actually, let's just tell them. Okay. So guys, you've seen it, You've seen it everywhere. We created an RNC.
We couldn't leave it in.
You wanted me to tell them a tea. Well, this was last week, but a little update so special because Jamie moved to the Gold Coat Jamie moved to the Gold Coast. Say hi, Jamie.
Hi.
So we've been egging Jamie on for a long time, being like move to the goldcost Jamie, and she she hasn't officially moved, but she's down here for a good amount of time for a month. She's actually staying in my guest house, which is fun. I had dinner with Jamie and her mom last night and her mom is so I love your mom. I'm obsessed. And when she told me about like your dad and her, I was like, this is Jamie, Like I know where she comes from now it just made so much sense but it was
so lovely and yeah, so Jamie's here. So this is actually like our first like little recording where We've got her in the office, which is pretty cool. And that's about it. Had Ellie's twenty first. That was a lot of fun was noted here.
Yes.
Good. I'm starting to get a bit sick you had too much fun, But yes, that is all. Let's get into this episode. I know you guys are going to love it. Gordana, welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. It's so good to have you back on the show.
Oh, thank you so much. It's so great to be back on the show.
We are so excited here before we get into the episode, do you want to just tell the audience who you are and all the good things you do?
Yeah, I guess first and foremost these days, I'm a writer. I've written three personal development books, Make It Happen, Higher Love, and Make You Happen. I think we spoke about make It Happen the last time I was on the podcast. Yeah. So I'm still writing, but kind of switch lanes a little bit, and I'm writing my first fiction at the moment, which is very exciting, very challenging, but a nice change from personal development.
Oh my god, that's so exciting. Could I possibly ask, like what it's about.
Or Basically it is. The book is split into three parts, and it's sort of like a sliding doors moment, the protagonist with a decision of three choices, and then the book splits into three separate timelines. So it's taking me a really long time to write because I'm essentially writing three plot lines at the one time. But I can pull it off, which I'm pretty sure I can. It's going to be pretty good.
I think, Oh my god, that does that sounds amazing and is like, is the vibes like a bit of a love story or a bit of.
A love story, bit of a coming of age story, bit of a development story, all the things we love?
As I say, me and Natia, we're so excited. We every like we this weekly recommendations on a Friday, and all our recommendations are love story, coming of age. So you've hit the nail on the head with us, and we're very excited for this book.
You will be sent one of the very first copies. I promised.
Oh I cannot wait. No, that's amazing. Congratulations and I love that. That's such an evolution of you. Like you said, you've done three self development books and obviously nailed it. Your books are just amazing. But I love that you're you know, you're growing, you're evolving, and you've got something new. I bet it. I bet it's like keeping things really fresh and exciting.
Yeah, thank you. I sort of I ran out of stories to tell about myself, so I was like, I better start someone else's story.
And it's interesting, you you know, bring up fiction because just the other day on the podcast, I was telling the RNC fan that I am like ride or Die for my self development. Obviously I have a self development podcast, but recently I'm like, I'm actually reading, for the first time and probably four years, a fiction book because I'm like, I need to I'm a new mum too, so I'm like I need to separate, you know, my work, and
I need to have some time away. And I feel like fiction books are just amazing to like completely get lost in another world and you know, a form of yeah, really kind of stepping outside of like constantly learning and just doing something where it's like it's just fully for you. So that's really gad.
And you know what my publisher said to me not so long ago when I was sort of floating the themes in this fiction book and I said to her, Oh, do you think I should like really sort of weave through some self help and personal development into the fiction? And she said to me, which I found really interesting, And it's so true, she said, jawed. Every character in
a book goes through some sort of character development. There's some sort of development of person that happens to either the protagonist or the other characters throughout a really well written story. So she said, so true. So you know, even when you're reading fiction and you're taking a break from those self help books, there's still this evolution of self and recognition of self that you can see within those characters.
It's almost like it's such a it is, it's a form of self help. It's just written in like a really beautiful, juicy way. Which how good. Yeah, all right, well let's start talking back about self development. So, like you said, you were on the potty, and I'll make sure I link the first episode we did together, which is, Oh, Jordane, I think it was. It would be like three years ago, now, wouldn't have Could you spoke at one of our live events, the very first one in Brisbane?
I think it would have been twenty nineteen because that event was twenty nineteen. Wasn't it was before?
That's crazy, So it's so good to have you back on. So I have just read your new book, Make You Happen, and it's so beautiful and I love how you've really you know, obviously self development and self help, but it's really written in a new way and I guess made me think about things from a new perspective. I would love for you to a first because I feel like a lot of the audience would have read Make It Happen.
Can you kind of explain to us the difference between these two books and what you really kind of brought in the Make You Happen.
Yeah. So, Make It Happen is a book about manifestation, and it essentially walks you through the theory of manifestation and then the practical application of it. So it's like
a really foundational teaching of the manifestation practice. Make You Happen sort of builds on what we learned in Make It Happen, which was essentially the manifestation equation thoughts plus feelings plus action and faith and says, hey, that equation is really great and super handy, but in order to manifest what we want, we have to first acknowledge that
we manifest who we are. So what I saw in Make You Happen is fine tuning, a really acute self awareness practice, because if we can become super self aware of who we are, it's easier for us to show up authentically, stay in alignment with ourselves, and from that space, we start to vibrate on a frequency that's truly authentic to us and naturally start to manifest that which is meant for us towards us.
It's such like the thing of you very much manifest. You know who you are and what you are, and so I think that's such a key thing as we can often miss of. It's funny because I kind of I have like a manifesting course, and that's what I explain in it is the formula is actually really quite simple, but you need to work on yourself and really get to a point where you know you love yourself, your your your whole authentic self, and you have accepted all
the parts of yourself and you feel very seen. And then when you manifest from that point, it's so much more powerful and it's so much more, for lack of a better word, like easier, because you're so clear on who you are and what you want, and you're so clear of oh, these are the limiting beliefs and that sort of thing. So that is Yeah, that is so perfect and it's such such a powerful book. Well, do you want to kind of explain to the audience a
bit more about self awareness? Because something I often say is when you know someone has a how question of you know, let's say they have a limiting belief and it's like, how do I overcome it? And something I kind of explained to them. The fact that you're even self aware now is just such a huge thing and such a great first set. So do you want to just explain, you know, what is self awareness and how it actually affects manifesting.
Yeah, well, like you said, self awareness creates this really sort of beautiful foundation for you to understand yourself so well that you can show up and embrace the way the world in a way that sort of you know, plays to your strengths but also recognizes and considers your weaknesses and not to use those weaknesses as an excuse, but to show a bit of compassion and self love and a gentle nature to yourself in each and every moment.
Understanding who you are is such an integral part of manifesting because manifestation really is about the creation of that which we desire, and you don't know what it is you desire until you can truly understand who you are and how you're affected by the situations, the people, the experiences that are happening around you. So what I did in the book is I kind of split because self awareness is such a big topic. I kind of split
into six aspects of self. And the six aspects of self are identity, emotions, energy, communication, love, sex and desire kind of squeezed into one aspect, and your spirituality and intuition. And I guess when you can sort of split it up like that and think, Okay, how and who do I identify as? How do I express and process my emotions? Because the thing is we all do it differently, and nothing is right and nothing is particularly wrong. It's about
being how you show in the world. Yeah, so that's also your energy levels, how you exert, how you recharge, how you sort of fulfill those energetic capacities and energetic needs that you have. How you communicate is such a huge part because we all have different strengths when it comes to our communication, and some people say, oh, you know, I'm just not a very good communicator. It's about finding the ways in which you do communicate well and utilizing
those to the best of your ability. Love, sex, and desire, of course, is a huge part of what makes us human and what forms connection with other people. And then lastly our spirituality and our intuition, so sort of how we listen to that internal part of us, that internal knowing.
It's almost like we recently did a podcast on the five Love Languages, and it was such an interesting experiment just for me and my partner because you know, I'd heard about I'd heard about that, and and until we actually had the conversation where I asked him, how do you want to receive love? And how do you want
to give love? And then I did the same thing, and it opened up this whole thing of I was so much more aware, and I was like so much more understanding, And because our love languages are very different, because we're obviously very different people. But then once you have the awareness and once you have the understanding, I you know, made some very small tweaks in our relationship that I was like, oh my god, this has made such a huge difference, and it just took you know,
that little bit of awareness. So it's like a similar thing but with ourselves in those you know, different categories.
Exactly, because I think a lot of the time, especially in relationships, we put so much effort into understanding the other person. But if we put much effort into understanding ourselves, then we're actually in a better position to have a great relationship because we get to explain to the other person who who we are. And if we don't take the time to find that clarity, then it can become really fuzzy and unclear.
And do you have like a go to exercise? I'll say no, there's so much information and so many good exercises in the book. I really love how each chapter there were you know, exercises you could do because I'm someone who loves homework quickly. But do you have kind
of like a go to exercise? If someone in the community has listened to this episode and they're kind of like, I really don't know who I am and what I want, what would be like a very first initial thing that they could do right now to just get that little bit step closer.
Yeah, that's a really good question. I would start with, like the really simple question of what brings me joy? What lights me up? And sort of just getting really familiar with the things little and big that make you feel joyful and make you feel alive and bring you energy, you know, And I think, is that is something that
we don't consider all the time. Again, we always look how we can please other people or how we can make work more comfortable for other people, you know, But if you sort of turn the tables on yourself and say, okay, what what would make me feel better in this moment? What would what would make me feel joy right now? What would make it feel lighter? And sort of getting curious about those aspects of self.
And something in your book I remember reading, is you kind of explain just kind of what you said then of the first the kind of steps of this is I guess you know, first of all, it's the curiosity, and then it's the acceptance, and then it's the embodiment. Can you kind of go through that process and give us a bit of an example of what that would look like? Because I just thought this was so interesting.
Absolutely, I think much like you, Georgie, love work and steps and equations all the.
Steps and all the equations and all the methods exactly.
So much like what could happen had the manifestation equation. I created three steps of self awareness for make you happen, and I think, look at something we do quite naturally, but when you break it down into steps, it's really easy to understand it. So the first step of self awareness is the curiosity piece. Some of us are really curious people. I am like, I have to know everything all of the time. But for other people it's like
really taking the time to get curious about situations. So in terms of self awareness, that's things like self inquiry and self reflection, asking yourself questions, how do I feel or how do I feel in this moment? How does this situation make me feel? How does this problem make me feel? How does this person make me feel? What is this experience teaching me? What have I learned in
the past in order to navigate this situation better? So just asking questions, getting curious, you know, after being through an experience, saying to yourself, what can I take away
from this? What was the lesson here? Yeah, also getting curious again I mentioned it before, but about what your strengths are in different areas of your life, and also what your weaknesses are, again not to use them as an excuse, but just so you can have an awareness of them and use them to the best of your abilities. Once we get curious and we sort of start to
question ourselves and question situations, there's the next step. Really is the acceptance piece, and this is the gracing of your strengths and weaknesses, being gentle with yourself through failures and periods of healing, and also like really sort of celebrating your successes. A big part of acceptance is being
at peace with yourself. So we talk about self love a lot, but I think this idea of just being okay with where you are at, accepting yourself for who you are, knowing yes, we can always expand and grow and learn more, but it's okay just to be who
we are right now in this moment. An AHA moment for me with the acceptance piece is when I realized that a common roadblock for me, and I'm sure this is the case for many other people when it comes to self acceptance, is that we feel like we can only accept ourselves to the degree we feel accepted by others. So if you feel that is the case for you. It's really sort of again going back to the beginning, getting curious about why that is, Why can't I accept
this thing about myself? And then the last step of self awareness, and it is the clincher, really is the embodiment piece. It's embodying what you've learned and accepted about yourself. I think for many of us with self help work,
with personal development work, this is where we trip up. Yeah, we can need all of the self help and personal development books, we can do all the courses, listen to the podcast, all of the things, and we have the knowledge, but we need to be able to apply it, embodiment, embody it, and like show up as those teachings within our life day to day.
That's such the missing piece, isn't it. I feel like sometimes and you know, I'm so guilty of this too. Of I love learning. I love you know, there's a reason that I work in self development and I love learning. But sometimes we can kind of go through and it's learning and learning and learning and aha moments. But unless you're actually embodying it and actually putting into practice, it's kind of like just going into one ear and going
out the other. So I think the embodiment is such a huge key, you know, seeing that people I guess miss and kind of don't implement. So that's yeah, that's so important.
The embodiment piece is an interesting one because I think we can be sort of in and out of flux with it. Like, just because we understand ourselves and we know something about ourselves doesn't mean that we're always showing up like that. So like really checking in with yourself and saying, all right, did I really embody my values in that moment or did I just ignore them correctly?
You know, it is a constant practice. I know for myself, I went through a period at the end of last year even the beginning of this year, after I've wrote this book where I was not embodying everything I knew, you know, I'd sort of it was a slow process where I'd really distanced myself from a lot of the practices that used to be part of my every day And because it was such a slow progress or process, I didn't realize it had happened until I sort of looked back and I was like, hang on, I'm not
embodying any of that stuff that I talk about, and really sort of having to go back to the beginning and start to reintroduce it.
It's so true, isn't it. I often am in the exact same boat where almost though I feel like we go through seasons, I personally would go through seasons where I'm just so strong with my boundaries and like knowing who I am and so clear on my goals, and then other seasons where and I can kind of resonate with this recently, especially after having a baby, girl Ivy is, I'm going through season feels like a very long season, but I'm going through a season where, you know, like
when you have a baby, it is very much like a death of your old self and you know you're almost reborn, because it feels like a completely different person. It feels like a completely different life. And I probably haven't taken enough time to really figure out like who I am in this new season of life, and I've just been trying to, you know, go with it and
do the best I can, which is obviously amazing. But you know, I'm finding I look back at myself even one or two years ago, and I'm like, that just feels like such a different person who was so strong with her boundaries, who was so clear what she wanted, and I'm currently going through a season where I'm like a little bit foggy.
No, I was just going to say, it's just a matter of like checking in with yourself again, starting with those identity chapters and saying, do I identify as now what are my value now that I'm a mother, because they're going to be completely different.
I think that's the big thing too, is I've spent most of the year, I guess, ignoring the fact that I'm a whole different person and kind of just and also just you know, trying to get through life. It's
obviously so much more difficult. But for the first time, probably in the last month, I've actually had a clear head where I have been answering some of those questions and being like almost switching it around from this negative thing to this kind of you know, taking is that a positive and being like, I actually get to decide what my new values are and what I stand for,
and I get to really, you know, take control. I'm a control break and take control and be like, I actually get to create this new life and yes it's different, but how exciting Rather than seeing it as you know, a death of my old self. I'm like, it's the birth of the new me. And how exciting I get to explore. I get to experience all these things again. So, you know, that's been a whole journey that I've been on, and I feel like a lot of people can resonate
even if you haven't recently given birth. But just I think since COVID, like all our lives are so different, so many things have happened, and I feel like you can It's it's never going to hurt to revisit, you know, these identities pieces. And actually I'd love to talk about values because I'm going to be very honest. Previously, when I've heard about these concepts, I more resonate with like, you know, core beliefs, so core beliefs I have about myself.
And when I know used to hear on podcasts about values of I used to be like, oh, it just wasn't for me, if that makes sense. I never would do that exercise. But since I have gone on this journey of identity, I've been really kind of looking at what are my values, and I've been you know, doing the whole thing where I have the whole list of
words and picking the words et cetera. But yeah, could you explain to the audience, like what that exercise looks like of finding your values and why it's important?
Yeah, totally. And I have to begin by saying I was exactly the same Georgie. I was like, what, no, boring the way that I view values in all my books. Actually, I'm pretty sure I've spoken about values in all my books as thinking of them more like feelings. So all beliefs is great, but I think a lot of the time for many people, their beliefs are based purely on
like cerebral thoughts. So it's sort of me with the same idea, but bringing it back down into the feeling body and saying, how is it that I desire to feel in my life? And moment to moment, can I say, am I getting closer to this feeling? Or am I getting further away from it? That's how I like to look at values. So, for example, a really boring value of mine is safety, and that comes up every scenario. Safety in relationships, safety in friendships, safety at work, just
feeling safe within my nervous system. You know, less so physical risk, but more in my nervous system.
Could you kind of explain how you came to understanding that safety was one of your values.
Yeah, I think a lot of the times in life I felt unsafe, And I just want to really reiterate that when I say unsafe, I don't mean that my physical well being was put at risk or unsafe in the feeling of discomfort when you're doing something new and there's a little bit of fear around it, I just mean, like you know, an energy when you're around a certain person and your nervous system is just not settled. You just don't feel you can't relax, you don't feel safe.
Something feels inconsistent about it, something doesn't feel like there's any kind of reliability in it. So that's when I realized for me, safety was a huge component of my value system. So yeah, like I said before, what it means is going, okay, if safety is your value and you want to be aligned with your values at all time, questioning in certain scenarios around certain people, whether you're in alignment with that value or out of alignment with it.
And then I guess that feeling though, like something that I struggle with is my logical brain fights my logical brain fights my you know, the feeling or the intuition.
So I do this all the time. I actually happened recently where intuitively, I like, I get that first response I kind of know, but my logical brain it takes over and it's like, well, logically, blah blah blah, is there anything we can do to I guess strengthen our intuition and not counteract, because obviously we need our logical brain. But yeah, I guess strengthen that and like learn to trust that feeling. I guess practice, but.
Yeah, anything else, I feel like we're the same person because I can completely light my logical brain takes over everything all of the time. Like you said, intuition is a practice. It really is. And when we talk about strengthening our intuition, I think it's really important to note that every every one has the same capacity and access
to their own intuition. The difference between someone with a strong intuition and someone who doesn't feel like they have a strong intuition is how often you listen to it, how often you follow it, how often you respond to it. So I think, really it is practice. It is knowing that your intuition is never wrong. So if you feel something and your logical brain is telling you something else.
You can decide to go with your logical brain. That's fine, but it's accepting wherever you land and thinking, Okay, look, my intuition actually did tell me the other thing. So next time, maybe I'll try and listen to that, and you might listen to your intuition. Intuition one time, or your logical brain's going I don't know if that's a good idea, and you might get there and it might not be the situation you needed, but you will definitely
have a takeaway lesson from it. So I always think practice listening to it, act on it by following your intuition, see where you end up, get curious, start those three steps of self awareness, and then reassess the next time. It's it's such an interesting thing, intuition, because I think we all feel it so differently, and I know that when I try and teach it to people, there's a real struggle because everyone's accessing it in different ways. It
really is a personal thing. Only way to get familiar with yours really is to just, you know, practice again and again and again.
Yeah, And I think also it's kind of what you said, you know this whole episode of Get Curious and Like reflect because I feel like most of the time because I get asked the question all the time too about intuition, and I feel like because we're not really you know, we're not taught to stop how you feeling, you know, to really like sit in the moment. We kind of talk that it's like it's just very fast paced. Life
is just very fast paced. And so the way I find that helps me with my intuition is just literally sitting back and having some reflecting time and like you said, like getting curious and being like, hmm, that's so interesting that I got that feeling when you know, this person said this or et cetera, et cetera, and yeah, really sitting in that rather than I guess ignoring it. And I guess that's where that component of awareness is just the whole big theme of the episode.
Yeah, exactly. And I think the other thing is that we always acknowledge our intuition when we had the knowing and we ignored it because we usually go, oh, told me this, and I ignored it. It's not often that we celebrate the success of our intuition. So when you do get something right, like when you intuitively know and it turns out to be the case, like really acknowledging that within yourself and saying, Okay, did I know that? What did I feel? And what were the indicators in
that moment? Because I think a lot of us sort of brush past that, and I think once you again can get really curious about it, become more self aware, easier to trust it the next time.
I love that so celebrating when we've trusted our intuition, even like, you know, the small little things. That's great. The last thing I really wanted to chattoo about, which I just found so interesting in the book is communication styles. So obviously, you know, you go very deep in the book, but I just thought it was so interesting that, you know, we're learning about ourselves and we're really exploring ourselves and how we you know, communicate as such a big part
of that. Could you kind of explain the different communication styles and why it's important to know this?
Yeah, I mean there's so many different sort of types and styles of communication. I think our communication style can be in flux depending on what kind of mood we're in. And I'll go through the stuff communication in a minute, but our communication tie is a little bit more intrinsic to who we are, and we usually fall into either one of the four categories, or I don't know, I'm a combination of a few of them. Let me tell you what they are and you can tell me what
you think. So the first one is sort of like an really analytical communicator, so they're kind of like facts and data driven. They're sort of just looking at what's laid out in front of them and using that to communicate how they're thinking or feeling or you know, whatever the next move might be. Then you've got your intuitive communicator, so that's sort of very feeling, sort of sense based. They like to look at the bigger picture. They use
their imagination a lot. They're pretty good at like reading the room and like, like we were just talking about, with intuition, like sort of tapping into their inner knowing of how they need to sort of move through through whatever is they're trying to get across. Then we've got our practical communicators, which I think that I am a practical communicator. Again, very fact spased, very tangible. Everything is
very sort of applicable. Yeah, so being an example or they're trying to explain something to you, they'll give it like a real world example. And then the last kind of communication type is the amiable communication type. So again they're very similar to the intuitive in that they're very feelings based. It's very sort of emotional, personal and connection driven. So if you think about like in your every day to day life, you're probably naturally be attracted to certain
communication styles because they're similar to yours. But if you think about a work environment, when you're in like an office with lots of different types of communicators, it's really making allowance for the different types. So if you're an intuitive community, those analytical communicators are probably really going to piss you off because you're like, yeah, but what does it feel like? And they're sort of like really looking
at the minutia of what's going on. So I think what's so great about self awareness is that, yes, we understand ourselves better, but the flip side of that is that we also understand others better. And when it comes to communication, which is usually a two way thing, two or more way thing, we can really sort of understand what that other person is trying to say to us.
The styles that you were sort of referring to before, I think everyone will sort of be quite familiar with them in different respects, usually if they're coming from the other person, but they are passive aggressive, passive aggressive, and assertive, and so like the passive communicator, and I think we've all been here at one stage, is where you just sort of go along with what is saying, what everyone else is saying. You don't really sort of assert your
own opinion or direction. It's just sort of being very passive in the way that you're communicating. Aggressive is the opposite of that, so like really sort of forward and driven and taking control of where the conversation is going. Passive aggressive. We've all probably had some times where we're in a passive aggressive communication, but that's when somebody is coming across as passive but in a very aggressive way, which can be very frustrating as the receiver of it.
But I know that there have been times in my life where I have been passive aggressive in my communication styles and like really sort of understanding that about myself so I can change it. And the last one is that assertive style, and that's kind of where we want to end up. It's being very clear with what it is you're trying to say, being concise with the way that you're communicating being direct, but also being quite soft and gentle and understanding.
And so why do you think it's important and to understand these communications styles and types.
I think, Look, many of us are interacting, most of us are interacting with people in so many different capacities all of the time. So, like I said before, it's really important to understand other people when we're trying to absorb and also give out information. But it's really important to understand how you communicate within yourself because how you communicate is how you're showing up in the world. Yeah,
and it's not just happening at work. It's not just happening you know, in conversations that you're having, you know, with people in your day to day life. But like if you think of like you were talking before with the love languages, like the intimacy of relationships, you really want to be communicating in a way that is not necessarily the same as your partner, but so that you guys can understand each other and what you feel and what you think can be adequately communicated to them and
again adequately communicated back to you. So, you know, I think there are so many ways that are really easy, whether you think you're a good communicator or not, to become better at communicating. And they're things like being a good listener. Like I think a lot of the time when we're communicating, we're so kind of concentrating on getting our point across we forget to just sort of pause
and listen. It's a huge part of good communication. Authenticity like really showing up as yourself within the communication process, curious, getting curious, like I've said so many times, but getting curious about what it is they're trying to communicate to you and what you're trying to communicate to them, Being clear and concise. Thinking also about like your nonverbal communication.
There is so much to communication that's outside of the words you speak, Like what is your body language, what is your eye content? You know, what direction are you facing your body empathy, understanding, slowing down when you're communicating is really important, like when you were talking about with intuition, like really slowing down, thinking about what it is that you want to say before you say it, yeah, and
really feeling connected to your words. And the other thing I say to you when it comes to communication is don't be afraid of silence and pauses. I think we try and fill gaps a lot, but it's okay to sit in the resonance of what has just been said.
Oh that's like me to a tea is like trying to feel zion silence. It's so bad, but I like, I'm aware of it, so that that's good so I can work on it. But something that you said that just like popped out to me then was you said, how you communicate is how you show up in this world.
And I think those are such beautiful words, and I think, you know, if we're getting to the crux of this, this whole episode is about, you know, exploring yourself and really getting to know yourself so you can show up in the world that feels so aligned and so your authentic self, because then from that position is you know where all the magic happens. And I think that's really you know, we can all reflect and like you said,
like where am I showing up really passive? And maybe why why am I passive around this person or in this environment, and you know, exploring that and like you said, getting really curious. Something also that I love that you touched on is you know, the end goal is to be assertive, and I love that you are saying the end goal is to be assertive, because I often have been told in my life that I'm very assertive, but to me it has almost you know, they're saying it
in a negative way. Oh, she's very assertive, And I just love that you're like, No, the end goal is to be assertive because if we're all very clear on who we are and what we want and what we're trying to you know, communicate, we're all going to understand each other and we're all going to, you know, feel really seen. And I feel like, not at all times I'm assertive, but I definitely, you know, try to be.
And I feel like a lot of of the listeners of the r n C FEM would probably be listening and being like, Okay, I'm kind of a people pleaser, which you know we all can be. How can I get to the end goal of being assertive? Do you have any tips for that?
Yeah? I think the first thing, and I resonate with everything you just said, is realizing that being assertive and being aggressive are two completely different things, and I think a lot of the time they kind of get into meshed into one another, especially with women. I think that it's okay to be assertive as a man, nobody thinks
there's anything wrong with that. But as a when we're being assertive, we're being difficult, where being a bitch, where being you know, all the things that we shouldn't be as a lady. So I think the first thing is recognizing that they're two completely different things. Assertiveness really is about what you said before. It's directing your energy in the way that you want it to be directed. It's having clear boundaries and also having an awareness of other
people's boundaries. I think is really important as well. And one of the tools that I've found really helpful when it comes to being assertive is the use of the word no and realizing that saying no isn't an act of defiance. It's simply one of two options to a
yes or no question. So I talk about in the book two ways to say no. First is a hard no, and the second is no thank you, And a hard no probably sounds than it is all A hard no is is when you don't want to do something when your answer is no. Is saying no assertively the first time, Because what we do a lot of the time is we start with a really soft note, which is like, oh, maybe I don't know, let me think about it. I'm not really sure.
Go check my calendar.
Yeah, And it's like just spart with a hard no, because otherwise it's going to be a much longer exercise. You know, that's going to get all fuzzy and weird and ugh. And the second thing is no thank you, because, like I said before, you have been offered an option of yes or no, and you're deciding to go with no. And by saying no, thank you, it doesn't have to be harsh. It doesn't have to be cold, it doesn't
have to be aggressive, it's just no, thank you. And I give a few examples in the book of different ways that you can actually say no without being apologetic about it, because we don't have to give an excuse, we don't have to apologize, but saying things like no, but thank you for asking, or not now maybe next time. I can't say yes at this point, but let me get back to you. Thank you for thinking of me,
but I'll have to pass. Thank you for asking, but I just don't have the energetic capacity at this time. So there's lots of way to be able to assert yourself, respect your own boundaries without it coming across in a negative manner.
Something I tend to do is when I'm saying I'm quite good at saying no, but I follow it up with excuses or reasons like I really have to explain myself, so I think, and I think it's like the underlying reason why I do that, to be very transparent is I don't want to hurt them fit their feelings. I want them to still, you know, like me or think I'm a good person. So you know, I say no, but because of this, and because of this, and I,
you know, will really go into explaining myself. And I always think, why do I do this?
Do it? Like you said, because we're all people pleasers and we want to make you feel comfortable. And of course it's not about making them feel uncomfortable or not taking their needs into consideration. But I think a lot of the time we unnecessarily have to over explain our own right to be able to say.
No, our own boundaries. Yeah, geordanad this has just been such a beautiful podcast. I just could talk to you all day very much, feel like we're the same person. But I'm going to finish it our pr I just loved that conversation about communicators and you know, really learning about ourselves. I think it is so important. Obviously the audience can go and check out the book Make You Happen, and of course your other beautiful books if they haven't.
But do you have any you know, last tips or anything that you want to end the episode on.
Yeah, I think you know, self awareness really is the crux of all personal development work. So whatever book you're reading about personal development or self help, it's always going to come back to self awareness. If it doesn't, it's probably not real self help because you're not putting yourself at the center of it. Right. If they're trying to sell you some finnally, they're kind of missing the point.
So starting with a really acute self awareness practice, which like I said before, will shift and change as you move through life. It's a constant curiosity, but it's really setting the foundation for a really beautiful, vibrational and manifest driven life.
So so important. Thank you so much Forrdana. Where can everyone find you and your beautiful books?
Ah? Thank you. My website is Jordana Levine dot com. My Instagram is at Jordana Levine and they're the best places to find me. Books available everywhere, so online is amazing.
Thank you so much for coming on the show. It has been such pleasure.
Oh, thank you so much for having me. I always love to thank you so.
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