The test that changed my relationship with Tim 💗

The Rising Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and terrestrid Islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts.

This is the podcast for ordinary.

People who want to do extraordinary things. So not everyone you know communicates and gives love in the same way. So the whole premise is if you know your love language and your partner's love language, or even just the people around you, you will be able to express your love and just express yourself and have a better relationship. Hello and welcome back to the Rising Kunker Podcast. It is your host, Georgie Stevenson, lawyer turned entrepreneur, business owner,

Do you know Tim's?

We got in this whole convo, made Tim do the test, and turns out didn't.

Know didn't know your own either.

I didn't know my own. Thought it was physical touch, it wasn't didn't know Tim's. And then it opened up this really beautiful conversation between me and Tim about our relationship and I think especially being new parents, Yeah, your love kind of gets put on the back burner. So it has just been a really great refresher for our relationship. So we thought we'd bring it to the potty. Also, A Tear chats about her love language and how she fills up her own love cup.

Yes we're calling it that. I think we should love it. We didn't in the episode, but now we are.

So.

Yeah.

It's a really beautiful episode and just for you guys to think about, even if you're single, how you're filling up your love.

Cup and how you fill up the people around you too, friends and family.

Yes, I love But before we get into the episodes, A Tear I had such a wholesome weekend.

I loved that.

So on Friday, I had my event for Pedal and Pup, which was amazing collections, so beautiful, thank you, and it was just so good to see like everyone there in it in this you know room it was it was really spectacular.

Everyone looked good.

Everyone looked amazing good.

So that was beautiful. Everyone got a little bit lit.

Literally except me because that tear doesn't drink, but because we were at a gin distillery and they were making these cocktails so strong. I had a mocktail and it tasted really good. Mine tasted really good. It was just you could tell you're drinking gin. They were really pumping in there. So everyone like, by the end of it was pretty lit, weren't they they were. It was such a good aftern It was such aod. And then we ended up at the pav after and then a tear

We went to the beach. It felt like summer. I know, I love it. It was so good.

And then Sunday I actually had a tears birthday picnic, so cute, so bougie tears, like oh, I'm just doing this really last minute little birthday picnic, like come I come there. It's like fully set up. Everything's like color coordinated. You should just seen the invite. She had flowers and cakes and food and cookies and it was so beautiful and I got to meet a lot of her friends,

Ever, so exciting. Tears like I know what it is.

You should tell everything? Should I just tell them? No, guys, would we're launching?

And there is Yeah, I didn't even know.

So yeah, that's your told you guys. First, our tea is literally just like running off to tame Bell. So look, she's got a busy week, I did say to a tea. I feel like my throat is getting a little bit sore, which means we better record the next few weeks episode tomorrow. No, it just means she's working hard. Yeah, but after this I can obviously chill out. But oh my god, I'm so excited.

This is just we've.

Been I can't I just can't say too much. But anyway, it's a long time coming, and h gag. You're going to be obsessed and it's going to be a big week, but I'm so excited to be here. How's your week? Being a tear my Wee's been pretty good. Our weekend are pretty much the same. We had Friday together, Saturday, I had a pretty chill day. I didn't get to the beach, but I just had a chill day with my fam and went out for a late birthday dinner and Saturday night which was really good, and.

Then Sunday had my picnic. So it's just very relaxing.

And I'm gonna go rote and give a recommendation on a Tuesday, but I think everyone should try and get outside into nature because the beach was the first time I've been to the beach and like just lounged about in a long time because it beach is a.

Bit far for me. I was about to say me every day.

Yeah, And it was really nice and I felt really good and really refreshed and.

After love love that for you.

All right, guys, let's get into the episode. You guys gonna love this one, all right, guys. So what our love languages? So there are five love languages and basically they kind of give us an indication of how we like to receive love in our lives and how we like to give love. This is one of a Tear's favorite subjects. Yeah, honestly it is. I feel like it

Okay, yeah, I'm the same. I haven't read that, speek. I haven't even read the book.

What it's called, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate? True, maybe I didn't. Maybe I need to read it and give it to dinner. But basically, the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality, time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. So not everyone you know communicates and gives love in the same way.

So the whole premise is.

If you know your love language and your partner's love language, or even just the people around you, you will be able to express your love and just express yourself and have a better relationship.

So that would you would say it to you?

Yeah, and even I'm not sure if anyone else's experiences. When I was younger, words of affirmation was definitely my love language, and I sent the longest paragraphs to people and get like a banks bag and I'd.

Be like, yeah, damn in the heart it is.

But then as you get older and the more I learned about this, I was like, oh, well, their love language was clearly not words of affirmation, which is also why I never got massive paragraphs from them.

So which is what you craved? Which is what I wanted?

And see, this is the thing though, is you often express your love in what you would want for yourself. Yeah, but then it might not be their love language. So that's when you know. Stuff can come up where you're like, but I do this for you, and the other person is like I don't care. Yes, And then like that you're missing the whole point and you're probably going to this effort.

And you don't need to yes. Yeah.

So in prep for this episode, me and Tim both did the quizzz So, yeah, what's the quiz called a tea? Well if you did in the show notes, Yeah, so you just google five love language quiz and I'm guessing it's a quiz from the book, but you can do it and.

It tells you your love language.

So me and Tim both did it and in prep for this episode, and oh my god, it tea. I haven't really told you the outcome. No you haven't because it was on the weekend.

Yeah, I'm ready to know.

We had I'll tell you the outcome. I think we will express I'm sorry talk about them individually first. But we had the best conversation me and Tim, and I realized I didn't know his love language.

I literally thought it.

Was something else, and he kind of got mine. But it's crazy because one that he thought would be like my second or close to my first, I literally got zero percent.

So I was no.

It was such a great conversation, so good, and we got talking about it and oh my god, it was so good. So I'm so excited to get into it. Before I get into my love language. Tim Love's language your love language a tea? Do you want to just tell the audience a little.

Bit about each love language.

Yeah, so let's go one for one.

You go first.

So the first one we've got here is words of affirmation. So that is very much expressing your love with words that build your partner or your loved ones up and make them feel appreciated.

They don't have to be complicated.

Sometimes the shortest and simplest phrases can be the most effective. But think things like always making sure to message a person or say something to them when you see them, that sort of thing. Words of affirmation I also find personally with when this was my love language and people who I know this is their love language. It's not

See one of.

Tim's is words of affirmation, but he's like, he doesn't want the long he just wants the I love you wow or I'm so proud of you yeah, And I'm like, oh, I'm so mean.

I'm like, but you know I love you all right, guys. So the next one, which is my Fair.

Song, is a good one. Acts of service. Basically, I just want you to do shit for me. So acts of service is when your partner or your loved ones might do just basically think actions speak louder than words, So they'll either do something that relieves you of stress or helps you in some way, or is somethink. It doesn't even have to be a big thing. It's usually small things, like it's things for me, but it's just in a requirement that I was meant.

To do that you do for me.

Yeah, Like they know that you're supposed to cook that night, but they just cook because they know you're at work late, or yeah, do a load of laundry, that sort of stuff.

Mm hmm. Yeah.

For me. When I think of acts of service as well, because it's high up on my list, is if someone like knew I had to go to the store to get something but I was really busy that day and went and got it and brought it home, Yes, I'd.

Be like, oh, acts.

Of service is my top one too. And I was explaining to Tim, for example, if I've told you I've had a really stressful day and I'm like, you know, feeling really down or something like that, like coming home and he's run a bath for me, Like could.

I thought I was gonna say a bath for you. It's like so.

Funny because I like said that to him and he was like, I just never would have thought of that, and I'm like, well, thank god we had this conversation. And also another big thing too is something For example, Tim always cooks dinner, but.

Which is amazing. That is amazing. He always cooks dinner.

I fed Ivy, But something that happens is I always have to tell him to start, So I always be like, Babe, I'm feeding Ivy, do you want to start dinner?

So we're you know, eating at the same time. A bah blah blah.

And I'm like, it would just be nice if I didn't have to ask you.

Yeah, like if he just started making dinner, correct, I love that?

Okay, You're going to he loves herd Access service Number three is receiving gifts. So the receiving gifts love language isn't necessarily materialistic. It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes you or your partner feel loved and appreciated, something as simple as picking up a pint of their favorite ice cream after a long work week can make a huge impact.

I really love this one. Yeah, I feel like that's your gift.

I feel like that's your love language of how you show it to be. As I said to a tear, she's only worked for me for like three months. I've never received so many gifts of my wife. I wouldn't even think about it, please said, and I was like, shit, yeah, probably need a calm down. No, but like so sweet, Like I remember when you first started work, you got me the diffuser. Yeah, like the what are the little sticks called?

There's a diffusal one, but incense is that?

Yeah, so you got the me those which are like so sweet for my offers. And then like I remember from South Africa, you got me this like cute little draft.

And then your mom bought.

My family likes giving gift tears. Mom bought Ivy the cutest little hat that has like a giraffe and her name. Oh my god, guys, I got to show your photo of it because it's so cute.

I'll put it. I'll get a tear the photos and then I'll know my Ivy.

I feel like you've got me something else your birthday gift. Oh oh my god, mate doesn't know you can see gifts are like.

Law and Wife, like a tea. This beautiful. It's like it's not digitally drawn.

I to say, she hasn't like hand no, no, but it's like an artist has drawn a photo of me and Ivy together and we're both wearing our like LSKD Rise tops and it's oh my, it's the sweetest thing I've ever received.

That's actually so glad.

Personalized gifts where I know the person has put a lot of thought into it, yeah, are like they're like my soft spot. Yeah, it's like so sweet.

I'm glad.

That's like I remember Jamie actually got me one Christmas photo of Barren Wolf hand drawing and I was like, oh, like before I had Ivy because they're like my baby yeah, and I was like that's so cute.

Yeah.

Okay, So the next one is quality time.

I love this one. So quality time is just like.

When there's like, you know, no tvee that it's like you have their undivided attention and it doesn't even matter what you guys do. You just like love being in their presence.

Yeah.

And then last one physical touch. So again this doesn't have to be essensual sexual.

No, this is literally.

Just like intimate, so it might be like holding hands, having an embrace. Like I have girlfriends who you could tell physical touch would be one of their love language because they're just like, you know, really lovey. Yes, yeah, love that aspect. And I think even physical touch comes down to just like being physically in that person's presence, or like like sitting a little bit closer together and the little things.

Like that, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So the whole thing, guys is if you don't know your partner's love language, you're probably trying to show them love of how you want them to show you love, which may not be their love language, so you may get not the best response. Yeah. And I think this is why it's so important as well, because this is gonna be a bit brutal. But if someone's love language is words of affirmation and you're just buying them all these presents, they're not.

Going to care, yes, like it exactly waste.

It's a waste of your time and your money. Like you might as well put that time into writing them a letter and that will just light them up way more than your presence would.

Yes. Yeah.

And also the great thing about this is like me and Tim had this very open conversation about it, and I kind of realized I hadn't been showing my love to him because I just didn't know if that makes sense.

And now that I know, I'm like, oh, this is how to do it. Yeah, this is how to do it.

So well, let's get into our love languages a tr okay, guys. So my results thirty three percent acts of service. Wow, I want you to do shit for me? No? Well, I think And this is the interesting thing too, is I think my love language has changed over the years.

Would you say yours has?

Oh?

Absolutely?

And I don't think this ever used to be this, But because I've turned into such a busy gl for example, I and especially being a mum, I often and feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed. So when someone takes something off my plate or they do something that I'm like without me asking them, it's like such a relief and such a like oh thank you, Like that is that's so thoughtful? Whereas you know what's really and okay. So then my second is words of affirmation.

Oh would you have got that?

I would not have guessed that really, Yeah, I just feel like you would be which you kind of are because acts of services first, but I would have pegged you more as a person that's like, I literally don't care what you say, just show me.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think it's like the inner child in me, just like yeah, like mom.

Just say I like, no joke. I think it is well.

I think like the words of affirmation for example, you know Tim coming up to me after a hard day of work, Yeah, after he's run me a bath and being like, oh, baby, works so hard, I'm so.

Proud of you.

Oh that and anyway makes like the stressful day worth it. Yeah, I'm like anything for you, babe, you know, like yeah, to notice that and to express that to me, I think is really nice. And I think also like when you have friends who do send you I love random messages from friends.

I don't think I've ever get it.

But for all my friends, I don't think any of them will listen. But I don't know a text from a friend who's just like, you're doing you a good job or I was thinking of today. Actually, I do have a girlfriend who does this all the time. Sasha, one of my girlfriends who's a new mum. She will randomly send me messages literally just going on a rant of how much he loves me. Oh that's so sweet, and I just like, I'm like, it just gets me in the fields, and I'm like, she did not have

I just want to like chat to you guys.

Yeah, I don't want to you know, take photos of our you know, fucking lunch or you know, it be a thing, or there be too many people so I can't have like a deep conversation.

Yeah that when you have to do that like sort of circling around.

Ye, no, Like I wasn't interested in that. I was like, I literally just want to talk one on one with like one or two people. Let's have a deep convo because that fills out my cup. Yeah, I love that, and I often do love doing things with friends one on one rather than a group. Yeah, one hundred percent.

Feel a bit like surface level.

So like quality time for me is huge, and also like quality time I guess with Tim, like when Tim, he can just be a bit of a scatter brain.

I I love it. I love it.

And then receiving gifts came in at zero percent.

Oh, we love a good serial.

And honestly, I think gifts used to be one of my top love languages back in the day. And I think it's because now if I want anything, I.

Just gone by it myself.

Fair Like, I just gone by it myself because I used to get really annoyed because Tim wouldn't buy me like what I wanted, and he wouldn't like listen to the thing I wanted, and then like on the birthday, buy me what I wanted. And we used to get in fines over this, and so now I literally just buy anything I want for myself as soon as you want it, as soon as I want it, and I then am just like I don't even have to worry

Whoa yeah, and yours is seventeen Yeah.

Then he next his quality time at twenty nine percent, so we're kind of similar with that, and then words of affirmation were twenty six percent which again we're similar acts of service. For him ten percent, didn't care about acts because he goes, I know, you.

Don't have time to do anything for me, and I.

Feel so bad and he that is so sweet, I know, but he's also like, I'm just so happy to do it myself. Yeah, and then gifts at three percent, so he's not worried about gifts either. Wo because again he and he's been like this from the start. If he wants something, he just goes and buys it.

Yeah.

He doesn't care about people like going to the episode for him.

Yeah.

So we had this conversation and I was so surprised because I don't think I would have got his physical touch and so interesting. I said to him, like, what do you want from me? And I was like whoa And he's like, no, not sexually.

We were all thinking it. It's I don't want to have sex more. Basically, should you do that thirty days challenge?

Me?

Should we do the thirty days? It's like a TikTok challenge.

I didn't know that, didn't you know, But like a young people TikTok why they need an intimacy. That's so true, But it's because we're so obsessed with like technology in our phone and it's all the big thing anyway too.

Tim was like, no, not sexually.

Tim was like, for example, he's like, I'd love if you came home and like the first thing you do is like come up and hug me. Oh that's sweet, And he's like, don't mean to.

Say. In my head, I was like, what do I do? Do you just like walk in thousands of down?

No?

I think I go straight to Ivy?

Oh yeah, probably, Well that makes I'm sure you probably used to go in.

And hug him straight away. Yeah, I don't know before Ivy. I don't remember before I but he's.

Like, you know, just to come in and like hug me, or he's like you know, if you're in public, like holding my or.

He's like also just being like lovey.

Yeah, like just like a little bit obsessed with him. Yes, yes, which I just was like, You're like, I don't get it. I know, because I'm like that's just so weird. But it's like so good to know now because I'm like easy, You're just mate.

Yeah, acually is so easy. But my god, you know what I did this morning?

So I wake up and I meditated my bed. I put my like, I literally turned my lum off. I put my headphones on, and I like lay there and meditate because I'm like too lazy.

To get up to my meditation chair.

It's also a bit cold anyway. Yeah, so what I did this morning, Tim's always still sleep beside me. I also don't want to wake him. Yeah, what I did this morning was like I put my headphones on, put my thing on, and then under the covers, I reached and grabbed his hand and we meditated and we love productive.

Col I was just like, I'm gonna kill two birds one.

My god, I didn't think of it, so I didn't have to do.

It after And this is what loved, Like we're just about how to manipulate your part to thinking no.

But I could just tell he loved it because then he stroked my hand.

And I thought this was so nice. That is nice and it's not hard for you to do.

Yeah, And like when I left, I was I gave her my heart because I just like say bye, I'm glad you're slivy and I always like hugging kiss her and I probably don't do the same to him, like I'm nice to him. I just I could probably make more of an effort. Yeah, but yeah, I didn't know. And then obviously the quality time, like we're both had that and I explained to him like I'm like, get the fuck off your phone. I don't care about it,

I have to then do.

But I just, like I explained to him, when I come home, I would love if we had an hour of family time where there's no phone, there's no TV. It's just us catching up or talking or doing something. But often I have to come home and then do a job that you probably could have done during the day. Yeah, And he did acknowledge that, so that was like a

Oh literally, get home and he's like, oh, I just got a babysitters. Not a joke anyway, that's a whole other story.

But I'm like, you could organize the babysitter and be like, Babe, we're doing date night.

I've got a babysitter. Yeah, I love that, do you.

I mean, if he's the one who's like I wouldn't quality time like kind of taking that initiative. Yes, I also said the bath thing, but like I really don't think that's gonna happen. Surely if you can hold his hand, he can run your buck.

And he's a good taker turning it down.

And also I think like a big thing for him of words of affirmation is I probably do need to be a bit more.

Like I love that you did the washingt today.

Yes, yes, those small things of well, I even like I probably would want to say, you know more stuff like you're such a good dad, Yeah, you know, stuff like that, like I do say it's not like I don't, yeah, but being more intentional and like kind of doing that. And I explain to him, I guess the reason why we haven't, you know, I haven't sometimes done those things is because you know, I'll get home and see that, you know, the washing isn't done and they're fucking sitting on the couch.

So then I feel resentful.

So I'm like, I'm not gonna fucking tell you your good dad. And then because I come home and I'm probably in a bit of a bad mood, he's probably like, oh, I'm not going to run the bath for you, and like you can get in a funk, yeah, like a weird, funky cycle because you didn't understand what the other person needs. Yeah,

My number one at thirty seven percent, so actually quite high. Now that's huge. Yeah. Good portion is quality time, and I think we spend so much time? Is that why you're obsessed? Why we're morphing to the same person.

Literally, And I think for me, that's just because what I feel like personally, I look at as everybody's most valuable kind of asset. So if someone takes the time to like give me their undivided attention for a night or a day or however long, I really appreciate it because I understand how hard that can be. My next one, so big jump down at twenty percent, is acts of service?

Interesting.

I love.

I love getting things done for me. It's the best. Yeah, it's just so good.

Like what because I also would love to chat about, for example, because you don't have a partner, what does this look like for yourself or your friends? So like, for example, go like with quality time, what would that look like for yourself for your friends? It'd be like, Oh, I did this with one of my friends a while ago. We made pasta from scratch scratch. Oh I saw that, yeah one night, and that meant a lot to me because I'm like, this is actually time consuming. She actually

Then cute.

Needed but like just had a good catch up and like you said, undivided attention, Like you got onto that deeper level. And that's what I really liked doing with my friends as well, because otherwise it's just like a bit pointless, Like I don't want to sit there.

And be like, Hi, how are you? Yeah all the time. Yeah, this weather's just great.

El Nina, Nina's coming, Oh my god, side joke.

Yeah.

And so for me, quality time is very much that if someone's like let's go for a drive, or let's go out for the day or acts of service. When I was first year of UNI, one of my friends would be like, do you have any errands you need to run? Let's go run errands together today and she's literally picked me up from my house and we do a day of errands. I'm like, so cute, Yeah what

To do that for you.

Well. Also, like I think acts of service would be, for example, because that's my main one, and if I'm thinking of like giving love to myself, it would the act of service would be scheduling in a day where it's actually funny because Cinder on the weekend said this, like she's like, you need to schedule in a CEO day, and I was like, what the fuck's app And she's like, I don't know people using the coaching well because that's

So you don't love that.

Yeah, so she's like it could be your you know, you tell the team I'm out of office and that day you like go get coffee, you go for a swim, maybe you do.

A little bit of work, but it's.

Really like for you filling up your own cup. So, for example, something I thought is like something I do. Guys, I've literally been trying to have I've told everyone that I'm having every second Friday off and then I.

Just never do it ever ever, I just work.

So something that I thought for myself is you know, me trying to schedule in that friday off for myself of actually committing to it, and that would be like showing myself I think I'm important and I'm worth the quality time for myself. Yeah. So in even a big you know, active service and quality time sort of thing. If that's one of your love languages, is being really strict with your boundaries and schedule.

Yeah, that's a huge one. That's very hard to do.

Yeah, very hard and something I'm trying to work on where it's like, I know, I get burnt out easy because you know, if I'm not like strict to my time, so like you know, trying to really like schedule things in and yeah, be strict. Yeah, that's what I kind of think for that act of services boundaries and making

Is for your future, for your future self.

Yes, that is the best act of service that you can give yourself.

I love that. And then I had seventeen percent physical touch.

Interesting, I love. I'm also seventeen percent. Yeah, so it's not up there. It's not really up there, I think in this And obviously I would expect a lot of this to shot for when I get a partner, but currently mine doesn't. I wonder if mine will be honest, but very much like making the effort to like hug my family or my friends when I see them, throwse little things for myself. I love getting a pedicule because I love a good foot massart.

Oh my god. Yeah, that's probably my little physical touch for myself. Yeah.

And then I have seventeen percent receiving gifts. Yeah. I just don't think it's not high because I'm a bit impulsive when I buy stuff. If I want something else.

I'll find a way to get it, yeah.

Even if I have to sell stuff a marketplace. And then my last one is words of affirmation at ten percent.

So interesting, you don't care.

No, And I probably probably just because and this might sound mean or sad or whatever, but I've had too many people tell me things and never follow through. So when someone says something to me, I'm like, sure, okay, and I just I'm like, don't tell me, show me. Don't tell me show me, because I don't mean ten times more than you ever telling me something. But for example, me saying I'm proud of you, how would I show that too?

No, yeah, you can't, that's what I mean.

Yeah, So obviously it's in there a little bit. It's in there a little bit. But I just feel like for things like oh my.

Gosh, I love you, Oh my gosh, you're such a good friend, it just doesn't hit me.

But it also was like that one hundred percent growing up was my love language was words.

Interesting.

Yeah, Like I send the longest messages to my friends, and if I'd made like a long message back, I'd get a bit upset or maybe because of that, like yeah, a bit like burnt from it. Yeah yeah, and I think just realize or like in my eyes yeah, sorry, you guys, someone doing something or showing something or taking the time or putting thought into things just means so much than anything anyone could ever say.

Yeah, well that's I agree.

Well I'm similar with you know, acts of service. It's like show me, Yeah, show me you're gonna do it, don't just like you know, talk the talk, you to walk the.

Wall, and just so many people talk the talk.

Oh so training.

Me with anything? Oh all right, So well let's finish off.

This episode, yeah, with what we could do for ourselves.

So everyone, guys, go.

Take the tests. Also, if you take the tests, jump in our dms. Let us not gus yeah or come no way, come in the Facebook group and let's have a group conversation about this.

We'll put up a thread. Come in the.

Facebook group, you know, screenshot show us your love languages and then also tell us like what you do for yourself and what you do for your partner, Because now that I know Tim's is like physical touch, I'm even like, oh my god, like I need to like make more ways to give him love and quality time. That's easy, but yeah, so I just would be really interested to know, like what people do you know for their partners or for themselves, for your.

Friends and family?

Yeah, exactly. I made like my closest friends take this when I first found out about it. I probably need to get them to do it again, but just so I would know in my head how to show them love in ways they to be appreciated. So interesting, and so do you kind of Taylor the way you do things for each friend? Yeah, oh wow, you're such a good friend. Thanks.

Well, now you know mine?

Yeah, I'll do Wait it's like, well, does it count if you're getting paid? No, just do your job. That would be great for me. All right, So quickly before we finish, let's go through what we can do for ourselves, you know, to show ourselves love.

Or even other people. So words of affirmation.

Write yourself a lovely letter and set yourself a calendar reminder on when to open it, or you could send you self an email and snooze it. If you're like me and don't write a physical stuff. I love that, or like write something to your future self.

Yeah, or just like oh, have you ever seen those open when letters?

Yes?

Actually I have.

Yeah, if you have time and you know there's some milestones coming up, write yourself some open wind letters.

Yeah. Cute. Yeah.

Also affirmations, like literally writing down affirmations and saying them.

This is going on a bit of a rent.

The other day, I was like reading a book about self love. Actually it was Alexis's new book, which she's gonna be on the podcast soon. Yeah, so stay tuned for that.

It is exciting.

But she was saying like something that you can do is parent yourself, whereas like, you know, think of yourself as a child and it's like what would you want to tell that child to make them feel loved?

Oh, and literally like.

A visual lie or writing down this and go through that scenario. Because often we can think of ourselves like really, I guess be really hard on ourselves and be like, oh,

I know, blah blah blah. And I actually did that for.

Myself the other day and it was very therapeutic.

Oh I love that.

Next one acts of service. We've kind of said this already of like just thinking for your future self, like being really strict on your schedule and time, because for example, I guess for me, and this is I kind of see acts of service and qualities time kind of mixed together a little bit. But like the other night, I actually like Tim was away at a Bucks and I

And I even caught up a girl friend was like what are you doing? She's like, oh, I can come over for a one.

But then I actually stopped and I was like, Georgie, you had never had time alone, Like this would be such a good night to not only spend time one on one with Ivy, but just to give yourself some time. So I literally called that friend back and I was like, actually, I'm so sorry, like I would actually just love the night to myself, and she's like, oh my god.

I totally get it.

I love that And I had the night to myself, and I think that is filling up my cup and giving back to myself and making that decision based on my love language. Yes, I love that. And I think even little things when it comes to acts of service is don't be hard on yourself if maybe you need to get groceries delivered or reading some things sometimes to

Yeah.

Absolutely, Receiving gifts, oh, by yourself presence. Actually, you know what, this probably is my love language and I just fulfill it.

So you don't need it from other people. Yes, that makes so much sense.

Actually, this is such a good I just had the thought. But if you're lacking love, literally, think of what your love language is and give it to yourself. Yeah, like, oh for sure, even if you're in a relationship.

I kind of men.

Oh so the like I was when I was reading this, I was thinking about it, and I was thinking, you know, when I'm like off t him because he's you know, not showing me love or blah blah blah, I should really be like filling up.

My own cup. Yeah, like not putting that on him.

Yes, don't you think?

Yeah, I love that.

And obviously, you know, having the conversation with him is great. But that's actually something I did think of. And that's probably true because receiving gifts used to be a love language. But I probably now just do it all myself, and I'm like, it's all good.

It's full.

Yeah, that part of your love language cup is full.

Maybe it's even that like.

Your love language quiz results is kind of what you're lacking in your love length so true. Not what your love language is, it's what you need more of, and maybe you need an equal amount of all of them. But it's like I'm already good in that department, so you don't need help.

Oh my god, mind blown. I'm like, we've changed it. ReadWrite your book. We've changed the game.

You know, it's gonna be funny. Is if like that is what is said in the book, is like I've got it.

Yeah, Oh my god, that's so try.

I never really thought about that, and that's probably why it changes all the time, because you fluctuate with what you give yourself.

You're so smart, okay. And then quality time, have some time alone, schedule that fucking self care.

Time, massages I've started to cure.

Try to do like a bath once a week on a Sunday night. Yeah, love. Yeah, just the little things like that.

And I would go so far to say physical touch is like a similar sort of thing where it's like you schedule in that like time for yourself, Yeah, that intimate time for yourself. Yeah, because it's like how to get intimate yourself.

Yeah you mean.

So that bath is the intimate yeah yeah, and also get a.

Oh gosh, tears.

Words I think even yeah, what just like that wholesome time alone to your self will fulfill that sort of part two? Yeah yeah love all right, guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I honestly found it so therapeutic to know my love language, to have that chat with Tim, and also it was just so interesting to know yoursit here I know I love Yeah.

I highly suggest you guys do the queis again.

Come and join us in the Facebook group. Let's have a chat about it. I would honestly love to know how I can do more of the physical touch for Tim, So if you have any ideas, Thank you so much for listening. Guys, We'll chat to you in the next episode.

Bye bye.

Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group a Rise and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we have a small team, so we do appreciate your time and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be