I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this episode is being recorded, the Kombo Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson,
and this is the Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is the podcast where we chat mindset, self development and becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses and being among Think of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are in your journey, We're here to help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical
self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's seat of your own life and stop letting live cast you by then you're in the right place. Hi guys, welcome back to the R and C Potty. We have a special episode for you today. So when this episode goes live, it will be a couple of days before my birthday. I am turning twenty nine. Cannot wait. I love birthdays and it is Leah sleevelerm it's my birthday month, and so we did an episode all about my biggest
lessons of this birthday year. So I go into four lessons and they're very introspective, aren't they? It, Tia, But I loved all four lessons. You're getting a huge insight into my year. I am very vulnerable with you, so please be nice and yeah, I won't say too much because look, you're about to hear about it exactly a tear. Should we do some recommendations? Yes? Do you want to go first? All right? So I told a tier I'm going first because I thought we'd have the same one,
but we don't. On the weekend. I think it was on Friday.
Yeah.
So, so the second season of the summery term pretty came out only three episodes. Were a bit sad about.
That, and I think it's kind of a good lesson though to like, Wait, nothing small.
I know. I literally be just been one night. Me too, and I loved season one, me too. I also have another recommendation, what so rogue? I started watching The Witcher. Oh do you like it? I'm not sure? I watched the whole first season though, Oh, I don't like medieval times. Yeah, Medieval's really dark. Yeah, but also I love anything that's magical or like mystical, and it's very mystical, and so I'm not too sure how I feel about it. So
it's like not a full recommendation, but it's like seventy percent. Yeah, I'm also confused, Like literally was watching the whole first season thinking, and I started watching it when I was sick, so it was kind of like I fell asleep half the time and it was like so super rogue. I kinda like it, but also it's like not a full recommendation. What's Yours Mine is a podcast episode. It's the On Purpose with Ja Shetty and he interviews Tom Holland, and
it is such a beautiful interview. It's literally two hours, so it is a bit of a long one, but it was just so interesting because I've listened to a few of Ja Schetty's interviews before. But what I loved particularly was Tom Holland asked Jay Shetty a lot of questions too, so I heard stuff from Jay Schetty I haven't really heard before. I love when they do that.
Yeah, and then Tom Holland also spoke about his journey going sober, which I found really interesting to listen to and his reasonings and how he did it and why he did it. He told himself he just would do dry January as a challenge because he drank a lot over November December, and then he found every minute he was just thinking about having a drink every day in January, and that was end of January. He was like, nap, this doesn't count. Even though he didn't have a drink.
He was like, I was thinking about alcohol the whole time, so I'm going to do it again. And then he just kept doing it and doing it and doing it until he wasn't thinking about having a drink. And then he realized how much happier he was and how much his life had changed and his relationships had changed because he'd stopped drinking, and it was like a gradual decision.
Oh my god, that's amazing. It was so interesting to listen to. What a good recommendation, Yeah, so much, You're all right, let's get it in his zeps. So I want to paint you a picture of my twenty eighth birthday, So this time last year, and the only reason I literally had to like scroll through my Instagram That's how I gauge time, Like, wasn't it Alli All? Yeah? I was I thinking you're doing at that time because I
post so consistently. I was like, I had just shot and posted all my LSKD content for my range, So this was like this time last year. Gosh, that feels long ago, but also yesterday. It honestly feels like three years ago. And so I also had just done my colab, my second co lab with Pedal and Pup, and that was like a couple of months prior. And then I was doing my co lab with LSKD and you know in the shots, Ivy is probably about six months old or like Juste and we also were like about to
go to Fiji. Hadn't you been to Fiji? Yeah? Sorry, no, we yeah, we had also just been to Fiji. I'm just trying to gauge you know, wow, roughly around that so feels like a lifetime ago, but that was only a year ago, guys. And for me, I it was such a cool exercise because I was like, Wow, I'm a totally different person. You are like totally different, And those feelings I had at that moment were I really
remember them because I personally was feeling overstretched. I and I'm very honest about this at the end of twenty twenty two of being like I was overstretched and I said yes to way too many things, and I felt overwhelmed majority of year. And so my last birthday I remember is feeling so overwhelmed. And what we actually did on my birthday was we went to Byron and we just spent the day with Ivy so sweet. It was so sweet, And it was just because I was feeling so tapped and really overwhelmed.
And do you think that was just because of work or were there some other things you might have been harboring that.
Caused this feeling cooled out a tea? Can't just call me out this whole episode of No one hundred percent. I was really struggling with being a new mum and working, really really struggling. I was holding on to a lot of guilt. I was also I remember my birthday last year. I remember feeling just really confused us also like really, I don't know what the fuck is happening or what's what's what? And yeah, look not in like in saying that, though, I remember kind of just being like I just got
to get through this year. That was kind of the vibe. Yeah, I just got to get through this year really and like it was fine, but it was the vibe you want to be in there. No, it was like I was having so many realizations, so many lessons, and so many like, oh, I never want to feel like this again, but I'm going to get through this because I have to. That was kind of the vibe of my last birthday A rewind. So I when I was doing this reflection, I actually journaled on this last night a tia to
prep for this episode. I love that I got some little notes here and I think, like my one of my biggest lessons, I came down to four. So the first one is more is not always better. I love that lesson. So she really I think previous years, up until I was twenty eight, it felt like I just had unlimited capacity, like I would just take on so much.
I would say yes to every opportunity, and I really saw that as my superpower, Like it's literally in my human design that I can have so lots of information, a lot of different channels and I can thrive on that. And so I use that to my advantage for years, because any opportunity take it, run with it, do amazing with it onto the next.
And when you did that in the previous years before last year, did you feel good, like where you lit up by it most of the time.
Yeah, there was definitely moments where I felt, you know, stressed and overdone. But then I would just you know, have a holiday, or I would like I have some time, or you know, I didn't have a child, so I just like spend the weekend being a potato. Yeah, And that was That's how I lived my life, and I just like, I think also, you know, that's how I was able to do so much over the years, and I really like more was always better for me. Yeah,
and I really embraced that. And then for the first time, obviously having Ivy and then having all these projects and just realizing that more is not always better. I realized that I had to have a huge shift in my life and I really started strengthening my boundaries for probably
the first time in my life. Interesting. Yeah, Like, obviously I've had evolutions over time, but I think in the last twelve months it has been the biggest, like the biggest change has me been so strong in my boundaries And that was kind of my intention going into this new year, which I you know, I told you a tier. Yeah, And if anything, it's like less is more, that's my new less there's more and I'm so intentional. And if it's not a hell, yes, it's no.
And what made you feel like your boundaries prior to this weren't strong or ever strengthened.
Well, it's interesting because I thought they were. Yeah, I would have said they were probably pretty good. Yeah, but it's they were strong in the way of I knew what I wanted and I knew who I was, but not strong in the they were very influenced by outside sources and very much like what I was saying, like if I had an opportunity, it wouldn't matter how I necessarily felt or if I was stressed. It's like, of course,
I will do it right. So almost people pleasing, yes, and almost people pleasing to my future self yes, you know, like it's like to other people, but also to my future self because it's like I was so happy to go through discipline in the moment and like not enjoying the moment for a future reward. Reward, fuck, I could do that twenty four seven. Yeah, it was like one of my greatest skills, and it's something I learned during
my law degree. Yeah, and then it continued on in my career and I really strengthened that because I saw that other people couldn't do it right in the industry. And it's really interesting. I'm only now kind of processing this. Yeah,
and so in that avenue, my boundaries release. And I think also, you know, when you have a small business, when you're an influencer, when you're your own boss, you know, you can kind of be in a scarcity mindset where you're like, oh, I don't want to lose traction, I don't want to fall behind, I don't want to be forgotten, or you know, like these weird limiting beliefs come up
that can often make you make certain choices. And it's really interesting because since I just went no, no more, like strong boundaries, I'm going to completely honor myself and my family and I'm not going to fall into the trap of more and more and more. I'm actually going to strip things back. But it's so interesting since I've done that, like so many areas have been more strengthened.
Like as in like businesses working better and that sort of stuff.
Relationships, business, like so many things that I'm like, wow, oh wow, I probably could have liked didn't I do this? Yeah, like I said, I could have done this years ago, and being Okay, well, actually I don't know that because you never know, this could be a very specific point in my career or in you know, my heart. Yeah, but that's probably my biggest lesson of being so intentional and just being like, actually, no, I don't have to
do it all. I don't have to say yes to everything, and that actually gets to work really well for me. It's like I locked in a new core belief.
Wow, And when would you say you really strengthened those boundaries? And then how long did it take to realize like how well it was going.
I definitely started at the start of the year where we did do a few future self and I like had the realizations that I had really taken on too much and I was really presenting certain things. And then so what are we, like, you know, nearly eight months into the year. Yeah, so it's taken a good eight months. Probably around six months I looked back and I was like, holy shit, I've actually really stuck to this and it
feels really good. And for the first time, I feel like I feel really good compared to how I felt.
And which I know this might be hard to like pick one which boundary that you put in do you think made the biggest difference.
It's like it's all to do with IVY. Yeah, So like the biggest thing is The biggest thing I ask myself is like if I say yes to this, will this take time away that I have with IVY. So that's sort of the phrase you use to yourself to like help you Yeah, Or if I say yes yes to this, will that take time away from my NH team yeah, or my RNC team or like y, you know,
where are the lines? Where are the boundaries? And also it's really interesting I don't know if this is going to make sense, but being okay with giving just a certain amount so rather than giving it all all the time, which is what I previously had done because it felt like, well, if I want it all, I have to give it all, whereas now I'm like, no, actually I don't have to give it all, and I get to have it all.
Like I it's huge like mind switch where I'm like, no, I actually don't have to give it all and I don't know if that makes sense.
No, like it makes sense, but I don't know if I agree how.
Or like not that I don't agree. I would love to think that way. I think it's at a very specific point. Yeah. I think previously I did have to give it all, and obviously that has shown so much. Yeah, but I think there's even a certain point where I'm gonna give you a really good example. Yeah. So recently we did a collab product with Elite Supplements. Oh yes, and so we launched an exclusive flavor with them, watermelon.
It's really yummy, so yummy. And on the weekend I did like an appearance and that was locked in literally at the start of actually at the end of last year. That was confirmed. Locked in, I do an appearance. You know, there was a certain collateral we did together, and that was all, you know, locked in and all good. So it's just a Saturday. It was a couple of hours. It was fine, but it was really interesting because I said to Cooper after, oh, I probably won't do everything.
I probably won't do anything like that again. Interesting, like just in the not not do a collad product. Yes, you know, we lovely that nothing against them or anything, but just like, oh, I actually feel like I'm not I'm not available for this anymore. The appearance kind of what a Saturday when I would usually be with my daughter. Yeah, and it just it felt very like, matter of a fact, I had found a new boundary and also kind of like it was you know, it's literally it's the first
one I've done this year. Yeah, I think it's got to be one of the last ones. So it really was fine, and I really felt good doing it. I didn't feel resentful or anything like that. Yeah, but it felt like a very good knowing. Oh, I don't this probably won't happen again.
It's kind of like a beige flag makes she stopped to look. But it's not a red flag yet.
No, not a replag at all. But it's so interesting because I think I've never been able to feel that. Previously, I had no awareness around my capacity or my boundaries. And it's really interesting because I straight away I even said to Cooper on Monday, I was like, it was really good. I met so many people, it was amazing. I don't think I'll do that again, though, and he went, cool, that's good to know. That's the wild do you hear me?
Ye's like a next stage in my evolution. And even for me to be like, don't get me wrong, you know, I would love we want to do further community events and RNC and H. That's very different than appearance for another company, but you know, and I can that's different. Yeah, But for that certain thing, I just was like, this is a new boundary and I'm actually going to honor it and listen to it. Was previously I never would have even had that signal.
Yeah. It's almost like I feel like for me, I will only realize, oh, boundary's been crossed when I'm like having a breakdown.
Yeah, like a red flag. Yeah, and like that's what I've done. That's what I did all last year.
Yeah. And what do you feel made the difference in being able to recognize the almost like Bayse flag of like, oh, like if I did this a few more times, it probably wouldn't end well. Yeah, without doing it the few more times, Well.
I think I had to have all the red flags last year and going through all the resentment last year and all those feelings. But this year, I think the reason that I've been able to have awareness about it is I just have space, Like I've just created so much more space in my life, yet I still do
all the things I want to do. Yeah, that is the biggest difference between my last birthday and this birthday is I have so much space for awareness, so much space mentally to unders stand what I want in life, what is important for me in life, and what is important to the people around me, that I'm just able
to make better decisions. And it's really interesting. I had actually another great boundary example where I was supposed to meet up with a girlfriend and you know, she was into state traveling, so we don't get to see each
other very often, and she was here into stay. Yeah, and you know, we had arranged to actually did see her during the week and then we had arranged again to see each other on the weekend, and it was getting to that time, and you know, we have to bring Ivy and I just I noticed like this niggling feeling and it was really close to the time, but I just text her and I just said, you know what, babe, I'm just like, I'm so sorry, but I just this really doesn't feel good. I really just want to spend
the afternoon with Ivy. And I apologize for you know, the late the lateness, but I just I really need to honor this for myself. And she was so fine. Yeah, you know, I had seen her, but again that was like previously I would have just gone and just got over and done with you know that, I feel like most people. Yeah, and then you please that person, you
saw that person, you ticked it off the list. Yeah, And so I didn't go, and me and Ivy we opened up some new toys that I got her, and then we had a bath together, and then we watched I think a Disney movie and it was just the best afternoon. And I really had the reflection of like, Wow, I've actually come such a long way in my awareness and my boundaries and it felt really good.
And do you think that, like, for example, say you had had that feeling and you hadn't seen her in.
The middle of the week, what would you have done the same thing?
Well? Or do you think like you kind of felt that feeling because you'd already seen her and this was like twice now.
No, I think no, I think it would have been I would have done the exact same thing. Wow, because I I did that another time. I did that another time the other day. But do you know me, I'm just a strong boundary.
Yeah.
And if this person is gonna, you know, get angry and stuff, it's like they also need to respect how I'm feeling. And yeah, I truly believe a true friend, like they're not going to be like fuck you. Yeah, so I don't know that and that's and I but I notice I could notice the side of myself that just wanted to please and just tick it off the box. Yeah, And I had to really have awareness. But again, that awareness has come through a lot of saying, like I've said no a lot of times this year.
I was gonna ask about that. So you feel like you've been saying.
No a lot a lot, and I think, like you'll even I think a lot of my close friends would be like, yeah, I haven't seen her, oh, but like I still love them. Yeah, And I still have so many beautiful friendships. But like this year, it's almost like I felt so burnt out from last year. It almost like it had to be this really hard no and this really hard like no, I need to put these boundaries in. And that kind of leads into my second lesson.
And that's just since I have put these boundaries in, and since I have been super intentional with my time and my priority and I don't experience mum guilt like I just don't. I love that for you, and that's something I experienced so much last year. And I think also social media and you know, friends and family, they normalize mum guilt. Everyone normalized this mumgel. Oh it's just nobl.
We all we all feel stretched, we all feel shit, you know, and that's a lot of you know, the rebirth course that we recently did, which is like my mindset mum course. I actually realized that mum guilt didn't have to be normal for me, and I got to
actually fully change that. And so even it's funny because my life is so different, but it's also not I have just been able to mentally get to a place where I don't entertain mum guilt because I'm like, well, no, I'm so intentional with my time that I have specifically, you know, for example, this, you know, as we're recording this week, we me and Cooper are going to Sydney because we're finalists for the ARIA Awards. What's that people who don't know, Oh, the os Post Online e Commerce Awards.
Oh cool, I think so I don't know some shit, some shit I've been taught as a magdal and so and hahe got nominated. It's just really exciting for us. And so me and Cooper are going to that. And so we're flying to Sydney and going to this whole gala and we're speaking at something beforehand, and like, I don't have any mum guilt around that because I am
so intentional with my schedule and time. And before I said yes to that, I was like, okay, let's look at my schedule, let's chat to Tim, I arrange things. You know, I spent more time with Ivy on side, like you know, certain things like that, And I don't experience mum guilt all the time like I did previously. And when I do, like because obviously I truly believe
feelings are just like signposts. So when I have started to experience mum guilt during the year, I haven't let it mean anything and I've gone, okay, cool, like where is there actual truth in this and what I want to do to change it. So when I am experiencing mumgirl, I'm like, yeah, well I have actually, even though maybe I'm spending the same time with Ivy you know, we've had this big project with NH and so maybe I
haven't been as present. So you know, next week I'm going to take an early afternoon and take her to Grump and Zoo or you know, Like the other weekend, I was just really craving one on one time with her and I said to Tim, I'm like, no offense, but I just want to spend Sunday with Ivy, go away. And he was like, do me a favor. And I just spent the day with her and I took her to like Kingscliffe or something, and I was like craving that one on one time and I could notice this,
you know, the feelings happening. So I changed that and that's the biggest. Like, I think the biggest difference to me last birthday was just even who I am as a mom so different, so different, and it's because I've actually done so much work on it and just in a really mentally such a better place than last.
Yeah, And what do you think made the biggest difference for you in terms of mum guilt and how much I guess pressure or not feeling mum guilt. Do you think that is what helped you make so much space for everything else.
Well, I did a lot of identity work, and that's what our whole rebirth course is. So at the end of last year, I literally had to change. I had to do so much identity work around who I wanted to be in this next chapter, and I just I hadn't done that previously. So when you feel disconnected to yourself and who you want to be, it creates a lot of feelings of guilt and anxiety and all the
different emotions. So once I was really clear on like, no, actually, this is the person I want to be, I could start putting in an action plan to strive to be that person. And then now I'm that person. Yeah, so I no longer feel those feelings. Does that make sense? Yeah, because I feel I feel connected to my new identity. But I had to create it. I had to be very intentional with it. And that's even like kind of like, let's go onto the third lesson because I'm going to
kind of answer it in here. Okay.
In your first lesson, you mentioned that you were able to make space and that that's what helped you make you more aware of like the beige flags and boundaries and that sort of stuff. How did you actually make that space mentally, because I know you're probably just as busy as you were last year. You've obviously said no to some catchups and no toe some things in business, but that doesn't necessarily make mental space all the time.
Yeah, that's a great question. I think it's like I'm super I guess I'm super tapped into my connecting to myself practices. So this is like so cliche, but it's like meditation, journaling. Yeah, like those really simple practices that I do daily that help me associate with kind of like this. So like, for example, when you're clear on who you want to be and what you want in life and then that day you show up as that person,
you feel good. Yeah, you feel like accomplished good. It's kind of like I feel like this whole year I've had like my blinder is on, Like I feel like I have not cared what anyone else is doing, and I have been so fucking like clear with like I'm gonna do me. Yeah, And I don't know, it's really changed me in the way of like even I was thinking and this is like my third lesson of just like the biggest thing I just like I don't compare myself to anyone else because I know who I want
to be, Like, I know who Georgie wants to be. Yeah, And when you have that clarity of your next level self, of who you want to be, and obviously you know this is what I teach, and it's just me embodying of what I teach, It's like, when you have that clarity, it's really easy to feel happy and to feel satisfied because you're like, there's not a hundred messages of like
let's say social media. Yeah, there's not like a hundred reels of you being like, oh I should be the fucking soft girl, or you know this conversation of like oh I should be the mom who bakes at home. I should be the mom who does this, I should be the partner who does this. Yeah, I could be healthier, I could be skinnier, I could be all these things. But because I'm so clear on who I want to be and I've got my blinders on and I don't let the noise affect me, I feel really good. I
feel really satisfied. Yeah. And I think when like last year, I didn't feel good and I didn't feel satisfied because I wasn't clear on who I wanted to be.
And do you feel like you spend less time on social media? M So going to my third lesson, Yeah, if you'll allow me, I'll allow it.
That okay. So I just I've said this in a previous episode. Yeah, comparison is distraction, and I just have not been distracted this year. It's like and this really has Like obviously I did a lot of identity work around who I want to be, but I I just like, fuck, I was caught in Like I was caught in the social media comparison trap last year and I did not even know it. And it's because again, I wasn't clear
on who I wanted to be. So I had all these like external all this external noise of who I thought I should be, and it felt fucking suffocating, Like it felt suffocating and it's really crazy because I could not even identify it was now that I'm so strict on my practices and like last night, I even noticed myself.
So I even noticed myself. So I made my like we had dinner, I made myself mood milk, I packed my bag, and I like noticed this niggling feeling of like maybe I could just go watch Netflix instead of because like I journal read a bed, yeah, a single night, and even this feeling of like I've been so good all yeah, you.
Know, like I yea so good all yeah, I'm at I'm like, I'm really solid to myself, like I don't I don't fall into the comparison track, you know, like I don't need to restrict myself, like I'm really good.
And I like notice that and I'm like, oh wow, it just it keeps, it keeps at you. And I so I didn't want Netflix or go in my phone, and I sat and journaled, and I journaled for this episode and I that is the biggest change is I'm just so strict with my boundaries even with social media of like I think I would spend probably max ten to twenty minutes a day on social media, and that is I do, like, I do really love social media. It's a really beautiful platform. Obviously I love posting on there,
I love connecting, but I'm really really strict. And then I'm like, okay, so then you know, my workdays eight hours and then on top of that, I've probably got four hours with Ivy and then the fucking ninety minutes that I've got left, Like I'm not going to mindlessly scroll, mindlessly go on Netflix, because I'm actually going to give back to myself and so I meditate or a journal
or like on the weekends, I do watch Netflix. I do love that time, but I really have to clock myself of am I trying to soothe myself or disassociate here? And previously that's what I would do is I would work myself literally to the ground, Yeah, and then I would soothe myself with social media, Netflix, food, and then I would feel better and then I would go and do the same thing kind of like almost binge. Yeah, like very addictive tendencies and we will have them, it's
very normal. Yeah, But I haven't done that this year, and I've just I've given myself so much room and space of like, no, I'm not gonna just go do the thing that everyone else is doing, and I'm actually gonna be really intentional with my time. And it's like that has just given me. So it's given me so much. And it's really funny because I did notice though there
is a downfall because I'm not gonna lie. I like I sometimes don't even know what my friends are up to like IM on social is much, I like really bad. But like one of my friends announced her pregnancy and like I did no she was pregnant, but I never saw the announcement. Oh okay, you know, like personally we'd talk, but I never saw on Instagram And I saw it like two weeks later, and I thought, oh wow, like
I am actually missing things. Yeah, so there is kind of like there is a downfall, but you need to decide if that's worth it or not. So for me, I noticed that and I went, hmmm, this is interesting.
Would you say it's a downfall because I would say that you didn't really miss it because you knew anyway and you'd.
Spoken to her. Yeah.
Yeah, so you're kind of just missing it for people who you don't really speak to. I. I guess I meant in the way of like there would be other things that you know, close friends do that they haven't told me that I probably do miss Yeah, okay, I get and you know maybe that they might not text you to update yeaues.
It's like a bit random. Yeah. Yeah, So like I think I've definitely missing things, but for me it feels worth it. Yeah, because I've got to a place where I just feel so solid and like who I am now compared to how I felt, and I don't want to go back to how I felt. So this is
kind of what I've had to do. And you might think, oh, wow, it sounds a bit fucking full on, but it's like, these are the changes I have had to make personally in this new season of my life, and I'm really proud of myself for making them because they have been quite difficult to make. And like I said, I've had to say a lot of no's. I've missed out on things.
I haven't said yes to all the things, and there's been some really exciting things, but I've just I've had to be like, no, it's worth it because for me, this birthday is hugely evolution and a becoming of me being a mother. And I'm really proud of the mom I am, and for me, that weighs anything else. That's
so beautiful. Thank you and yeah, and that's even Like I was talking to a friend a couple of months ago and she was kind of telling me, she was like, oh, you know, like how do you not care what people think of you on social media? Because like she's not
being on social media or anything. But she was saying like anyway she was dealing with this like crisis or whatever, a certain problem and it was affecting her on social media, and it was great awareness because I was just like, I, Yeah, I think I just am so solid in who I am and what I want and what I want for my family and what I want for my businesses and who's important to me that it's like I'm just not worried what other people are doing or what other people think,
And I just I think there's so much power in that. There really is.
And what would be your obviously less time on social media, but what else do you think has really strengthened your relationship with you yourself to the point that you're not really worrying about other people. And it's like you've got your blinkers on, but it seems like it's quite easy for you to keep them there. There's not too many things that are going like, oh, like hello, whereas I feel like I've tried to put.
My blinkers on, but then there's always like things. It's the clarity for me, It's the clarity of me knowing I'm going through and it see it is kind of easier for me because of Ivy, whereas Preev's pre Ivy, it wasn't easy for me because it's not like a central No, So I really resonate with how you feel because I felt like that previously. Yeah, but then since you know, Ivy's come along and she's just the most important thing in my world, it's been really easy to
make those decisions. Yeah, you've got like a benchmark. Yeah, and I guess also, oh so cliche, but I've just like I've just like never felt a love like being a mother. But I don't want advocate honestly, just why trust me, It's like I've never yeah, I've never felt like this, and it's been because of her. It's been
really easy. And also I think for me, it's like because I've done so much identity work around the mother I want to be, is she's never going to be the reason why I don't do something, so she like, I'm never going to be like, oh well I didn't go and do Europe because you were born or you know, like those sorts of things. So like being very much like, no, I get to be a mother, but I also get to like do all the things I want to do but being very realistic about the things I want to do.
Yes, Okay, do you think that she helped the clarity or do you think the clarity is what has helped you be so clear and that that clarity showed you that ivy is your benchmark. But for example, if I just worked on getting really really clear, I would myrawn benchmark, which could just be my future self.
Yeah. And you need a like you need a good enough why. Yeah, And I think that's hard before I kid, because there was like you don't really have like, of course you have whys. Yeah, but it's kind of like it's not as clear. So my last lesson of this birthday is, I it's really funny to say it to you. I did not have a lot of awareness around who I was.
What I know, Like if you're saying this way, where am I?
No? But that's what I mean of And but I think that's very normal in your like your twenties. I don't think you should know who you are. Yeah, And so I think this was and it is this is like this turn nine, Well, this year is the start of my sad in return. So that makes sense because you sat in returns fucked yeah, it's already for the
role of go. Yeah, it's a roller co star. And so this year has been so pivotal to me because I have finally gained awareness and started gaining evidence around who I am, but also who I want to be. Where was previously. It's really weird. It's like I did not have the awareness. I had a lot of people telling me stuff yeah, but I did not believe it or embody it. And that's why I had such a hard time when I became a mum, because it's like
I felt so confused of who I was. So this year, you know, this birthday year has been really interesting because and this is you know, something that I have worked with my coach around of to be who you want to be, you have to create and build evidence and strengthen the parts of yourself you want to be. And so I had never really I had done that. Of course we all do that, but I had never fully done that to the extent that I have done that
this year. And I'm just I'm gonna give you an example because you kind of I know, these words might sound super rogue, so like evidence of who I am something I know for sure, and something like no one could tell me otherwise I know for sure evidence about myself and who I am. Is one of my biggest strengths is I will if I agree to something and I want something, I will show up and apply myself until that thing is done or it is quote unquote success. Yeah.
Like that is a characteristic a strength that is like evidence of who I am. That is like one of my traits that I can guarantee. And it's funny because me and Tim were actually talking about it last night and we were talking about how last year I said yes to all these things and I felt spread thin and I felt like really fucking not great, And he said, yeah, but you did them and you saw them through. And that's such a testament to who you are, yea. And
that is who I am. I am someone even if like if I've said yes to it, and even if I don't want to do it, I will show up and be there and do it because I have such this huge piece of integrity in who I am, and that has been consistent my whole entire or not probably
like since I started understanding who I was. Yeah, And that's a trait of mine, and that's something that is evidence of who I am, and not only do I have evidence, but that is someone I want to be, so I will continue to create that evidence.
On that particular skill. Yes, what's the difference between seeing something through even when you don't want to do it and respecting your boundaries.
Well, that's the thing is, I think you need to know your boundaries first before you strengthen this skill. I didn't. I strengthened that skill first, and now I have my boundaries. So it's great. Yeah, Whereas before in saying that, I think there's a lot of I see, I'm still going to go there, and I think if you have said yes, you should still show up. What about what you did with your friend? What what about what you did with your friend? No? Not in that way. So I'm talking about like.
Something project commitments, yes, okay, I'm not talking about like little boundaries. I A big things, yeah, like work or even like if you set yourself a goal okay, interesting, or if you say yourself a project.
Yeah, it's kind of like it's na. Actually, I'm going to take it back because I do agree of it does depend on your boundaries, but I think there is a lot of power of For example, let's just go back to my law degree. Yeah. So I probably six to twelve months before I finish my law degree, I knew I probably wasn't going to do law or yeah shit, but I was like, nah, I'm just going to finish it because this is something I need to do. Yeah, and it's something I want to prove to myself. I'm
also seventy five percent there, you might as well finish. Yeah, So in that moment I could make that decision, but for someone else it would be the right decision to stop, so that it depends on the person and the time.
Yeah, And navigating whether you're quitting because it's easier to quit or you're quitting because it's actually a disservice to you to keep going.
That's the thing is, here's the really amazing thing about creating evidence of who you want to be. It's like it's going to be so dependent it actually, like I said, in those two circumstances, that the quality of showing up for yourself could be correct in both instances. Yeah, that's like, that's the beautiful thing about evidence is it doesn't logically have to make sense to you or the listener who's listening. It just has to make sense to me, Yes, whatever
feels integral. Yes, And that's like, for example, with you know, the friend's situation, it was more integral because on my priority list, IVY is always higher than a friend. Yes, so it was more integral to honor my time with Ivy. Yes. Do you kind of get how I'm getting both vy truths? Yes?
I guess it's like perspective and like what truly feels right to you the inside and not what it looks like.
Yeah, and that's the thing is like that's you'll notice such a theme on my content right now of just being like don't put yourself in a box, like you actually get to so decide your life and be really integral to who you want to be. But that's not
always going to make sense to other people. Yeah. So yeah, that was like that was my fourth lesson this year of like you get to create the evidence of who you want to be, and I was like really intentional about doing that this year, and that's what I have done, and I think that's why I feel really solid on who I am, because I've been intentional about creating that evidence. Yeah, sorry, mumbled that, No, that's okay, And yeah, that's my birthday lessons.
I love this. I feel like this has been a therapy lesson.
But I've enjoyed listening to them, and I'm sure everyone else will.
But Guys, I can't wait to be twenty nine. And honestly, I just feel like I love getting older. I've been told by an astrologist that like, my prime of my life will be when I'm forties, like in my forties. Oh so I look, I just I'm excited for that. Yeah, can't we to be in my thirties. Can't wait to be in my forties. Probably that's it. After that, we're not talking about it. I'll be in my forties forever.
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