My 12 month TTC Journey🤰🏻

I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on this land for thousands of years, and we show our gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.

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Hello, my loves, and welcome back to the podcast. It is your host Georgie Stevenson, and today we have a very vulnerable episode where I am opening up and chatting to you guys about me and Tim's second trying to Conceive IVF journey. So I am going to do two podcasts and I'm going to do this podcast that's all about like the trying to conceive the infertility, and then I am going to do another podcast that is answering your questions that will be more focused on the pregnancy.

Last time, it took us.

Over twelve months we had a miscarriage.

It was so much heartache and so challenging.

It was so hard, and I'm so determined for this experience to be different from my mindset to be different, so I'm going to document it.

So this is the very first month. The way we're going about it right now, I've always tracked my cycle and we're just having a lot of fun, keeping things super spicy.

Things are going to be different this time.

Previously it was very like I'm ovulating, let's have sex as.

Much just weak that, and it just did not make for a great experience.

You think it sounds fun until you've been doing it for twelve months.

And so for example, this month, something that's difference is like sitting in this energy of like unbothered, undas I know what I've won, I'm clear on what I want.

I know my body is meant to create. I know the little beautiful soul is there and it's going to come in, and that.

Is the vibe.

And I get to enjoy this journey and I have this beautiful connection with my husband and this beautiful time with Ivy, and that is what's going to be different about this time around. And I'm sure there's going to

But I am really sitting the.

Energy of like, if she can do it, I can do it too, and like how magical. February twenty twenty four.

Just got my parent feelings kind of neutral, not too worried. I just did some journaling this morning where I did the affirmations that my body is healed. My thyroid is healed, so I.

Have issues with that, and my body is the perfect vessel for a baby to come through, and it is coming through in present tense.

March twenty twenty four, Month two obviously disappointed, sad, but also I keep getting a vision of them, can see their face.

I can see the curls, I can see the personality.

It just is like filling me up, and I'm like, I know it's close.

I know they're there. So it's like I don't have to worry. They're they're they're coming. I just get to trust and enjoy this process. It actually gets to be so beautiful.

It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be difficult.

The end of March twenty twenty four, gonna lie feeling a little bit of sadness, like doubt, like is this then to be?

Especially because everyone around me is getting pregnant like everyone and like very quickly, which I love and.

Adore, and it's so like expanding for me. But I've been doing like a spirit baby meditation. She's being really beautiful. I've been like walking in with the soul and I just like I can feel them. I'm just like trusting this. I've been like really connecting with the soul and they need to come in at the perfect time. Like Ivy felt like chaotic, she was like a well wind, She's a sage. It makes sense, and this baby feels really grounded and like really like I'm gonna come in at

It feels good.

April twenty twenty four, Let's just see.

I don't think I am not to break me.

I just wanted to check because I'm about to go. And it's been a hot minute since I upticked.

You guys, we kind of just like I wanted to chill for a couple of months.

I'm whispering because I just.

I just wanted to chill for a couple of months. And we went to Europe and it was amazing, and it has felt really good to just surrender and lean back. I'm really proud of myself for how I'm showing come during this time.

July twenty twenty four, it's literally my thirtieth birthday in like two days on Saturday, and I'm just so excited to be thirty and like call in this like new era, this like softness, being a.

Mom to two babies, maybe even three, and just like such a new way of doing things surrendered, detached is flow.

I know it's all on its way.

I just get to wait and I get to enjoy.

When I'm waiting for it.

At the end of July four just did another meditation connecting to baby and saying how disappointed and upset I was that they didn't come through this month, but also how grateful.

I am and how excited I am, and how I know it's all gonna happen in the perfect timing, and also that it's okay, come through in the perfect timing, and I'm trusting and I'm surrendering, and I can be disappointed, will.

Also being so grateful for what's to come.

And then I also tapped into like my higher self when I'm about forty, I do this like timeline thing. And the wisdom that came through was stay in the frequency, stay in the vibe. You know what you want, Stay in the frequency, and it's all coming to you, and surrender, not trying to control, and it's going to happen in the perfect timing, and it's got to be better than you could have imagined. August twenty twenty four, It is

We did aUI got ivied the first.

Time, and I UI is this like the basically the same chances as getting pregnant as like doing it naturally.

You just think turkey baseduff. So he scanned my.

Ovaries and for the day that I'm supposed to be on my period, he said, my ovaries are showing polycystic.

They're polycystic ovaries.

So he said it is highly unlikely that I would have a spontaneous pregnancy.

Weird language.

He said, my lining is very thin and my ovaries are polycystic, so they have like heaps of follicles but not a dominant. So he said, probably over you know, the last whatever months, you probably even though I'm getting symptoms of ovulating, I'm probably not even releasing an egg or if I am, the lining probably wouldn't be thick enough to like catch.

It interesting.

Look, and it's kind of the exact same things last time, so I wasn't not expecting yet.

But yeah, so that's the update. So I think we're just gonna go straight into EUI because why not. Why keep waiting? And it feels really good. I feel really excited. So I just got a whole bunch of blood tests. See how we go. Yeah, I don't know, I feel like, feel really good. I feel really excited. It feels good because I'm like, it makes sense. I'm not going quizy. I'm not going to Lulu at.

The end of August twenty twenty four jokes. So we got some test results back and tim sperm is not at.

A great point, and so basically.

The doctor's like, with my ovary's and tim sperm quality, IUY would not be possible.

And we have to go straight to IVF. There's nothing wrong with IVF. I have a lot of friends and family who have done it again, all the work I teach the how. It's not my responsibility.

The end goal of the vision is beautiful, healthy baby.

So I don't know, We're just gonna have We'll think of that see how it sits.

I go from there.

September twenty twenty four, period is fifteen days late, not pregnant, don't know what the fuck's going on.

Usually so regular, lots of fun.

Going to get acupunta because you know what, whatever whatever.

At the end of September twenty twenty four, I'm feeling really frustrated because as soon as I got the Piers diagnosis.

Previous to that, my cycle was always on point.

I thought I was always ovulating mid cycle, and then now it's like my brain knows, for example, this cycle has been thirty eight days and that has like never happened to me. So I'm feeling like a bit frustrated because I'm like, has my cycle actually you know what I mean? Like, have I cyched myself out with the diagnosis and now my cycle's like playing up, But she's

That is all I have to do. I don't have to worry about the how.

So that is the vibe I just like I have to remind myself of course I have human moments, but also that's what we're here for. September twenty twenty four, my period is twenty days late. Definitely not pregnant, but ignore that. But this is the new vibe moving forward. I've had the epiphanies, I've worked.

Through my shit.

There was actually quite a few like things work I had to do, which I can share at another time. Basically like blocks, Like the work that I teach is like manifesting, and when you can't get to something, it is a block of like okay, so why do you think you can't get there?

And for me, it was a lot to do with I'm.

Not healthy enough, you know, all the stuff of my thyroid.

Am I going to be able to have enough time for the next baby and continue to work.

On my businesses? Honestly a lot of the same shit.

I had with IVY and I didn't even realize, but I had to like work through that. So I've been doing that the last couple of weeks and just being like really.

Honest with my like if I was giving a.

Baby right now, what would my nervous system do, Like why would I freak out?

What would be like the very first thoughts and working through that.

So I've been doing that behind the scenes and I can definitely share more of that work if you guys want me to.

But the next.

Stage of this is like I'm going to be sitting in a new.

State of de Lulu again. This is work I teach.

Where basically I'm going to be telling my subconscious brain at any point I can that I am pregnant, that my body can hold a pregnancy, that I am attracting that sperm, that I have the most perfect uterus, that I cannot wait to have this baby, that my work is perfect to have another baby, that like all the circumstances, I'm like, it's perfect to have a baby, and just like absolutely like sitting in like I am pregnant, Like I'm currently pregnant right now, Like I am pregnant, and

Delulu for the next couple of weeks. I am doing a.

Meditation every morning and every night, and just like, yeah.

Sitting a new state of Delulu.

So the only thing with the state of Delulu again, there can't be any of those like blocks they spoke about previously.

So you need to work through that first because otherwise, if you.

Say I am pregnant, but then you've still got this block of like, oh but it's going to fuck up my career, your subconscious is not actually gonna believe it.

So you have to do those block before. But this is, yeah, I don't know. I feel different.

And also I'm like no, like baby, baby's so close, baby's here, Like I'm breagnant, Like this is I've jumped onto the new timeline like it's happening and not like let's see how it goes like it's happening.

It's done. It's done.

October twenty twenty four, so we're going straight to IVF And I got my bods this morning. I got my medication, but I feel so emotional because.

I just feel like a bit of.

A pity party moment.

I am also my apperiens sence, but you know, just like the thoughts like I thought this time was gonna be different, like why does it have to be such a process, And so you see other people who just like instantly get pregnant, and you're just like, but also.

I know.

I just on the phone to.

Tim having a good crime to him and he's like, bab if this is our, if this is the thing in life that we need to struggle with, it's okay.

We can do it together.

There's solutions, like it's gonna be okay.

And I'm no, He's so good at making me realize that, and it's like, again, we all have shit we deal.

With in life. This is ours and it's okay. And I like, you guys know, like I am.

Throughout this whole journey, I have been trying to be so positive, but also I am human and I have human emotions or I'm just like I don't know, I just have like weird feelings, and I'm like, is this the right thing to do?

Should we just.

Like wait longer? I just I feel a bit like conflicted about it.

I think I also feel like quite overwhelmed because it's literally like this cycle, it could all happen, and it's like, I don't know, I just feeling all the feels about it. But I'm gonna go do my visualization. I've been doing my visualization like hypnosis thing I read myself every morning and night and it just puts me in like the best vibe.

So I'm gonna go do that.

The end of October twenty twenty four. So in the next couple of days, we are doing our egg retrieval, which is very exciting. We did have some issues with my bloods all.

It looks like.

I was going to ovulate naturally, so he had to do some extra injections. But I got my results back from my doctor and he said it looks good for egg retrieval, so we're very excited. I'm definitely feeling like just a bit bloated, but I keep affirming these you know, I'll do whatever I need to do for baby, always happy to do it. And this is like me being

Coming so soon.

November twenty twenty four, No, not pregnant, even though I feel so bloaded. So we basically got too many eggs. I had twenty four eggs, twenty were able to be like actually used, and then thirteen have been fertilized. So we have thirteen little babies, thirteen little Tim and Georgy's. But because there was so many eggs, their wonder might be hyper stimulated, so we can't do a fresh transfer. They're going to get frozen and we're going to try next month. So like super disappointing.

I also feel you can see the bruiser.

I also feel like quite sick, just so bloated and like a bit constipated and just like not great. But luckily, because we have so many little babies, I won't ever have to do those injections or that procedure probably again, like I would hope.

So yeah, now we're just waiting for my period, waiting another month.

Tim's response was, of course, we have to wait another month, like of course, but we're not doing that.

We're not in victim mentality.

So anyway, really exciting you're gonna have at the end of November twenty twenty four. Today was supposed to be our embryo transfer, and twenty minutes before I was supposed to be at the doctors, my doctor called and said, come to his office, not like the vitilia office. And basically he said, you know, there's a ten percent chance that you thow out the embryo and it doesn't survive. It does happen. And he said, we thought out like the first one and it didn't survive. So we thought

Well, and now I have to go through the whole fucking thing again.

We had eight embryos. It's so many.

Oh fuck.

We're also going away soon, so I don't even know if we can do it next cycle.

So that's the.

Update December twenty twenty four. You know what no one tells you, the IVF bloat. I'm not pregnant, definitely.

We just did.

Our egg retrieval and I have been like, that's like hard.

I looked like this one.

I was six month six months pregnant, and it's been like this for almost a week. I did have hyperstimulation, but like I had to go to work today and literally say to the girls, oh, I'm just really bloated like that.

I'm not even.

Joking, guys, Like no one talks about this. As you can see, it was an emotional rollercoaster. So the last video that I actually didn't film, but after my second transfer, my second an egg retrieval, after the IVF scientists basically killed our fertilized eggs, I went through an egg retrieval and then what's wild is we got seventeen eggs and my bloods did indicate I was like quite high on

Like spiraled and I was so upset because I was like no, I thought, like I thought would have a bait like I thought we'd be pregnant this year, and so I actually posted on social.

Media and it was kind of one of those moments where I just became so detached and I was like, I just can't carry this heaviness anymore, because it felt really heavy. I show up on social media, on podcasts, on YouTube's monthly, daily, weekly, and so to carry that sort of like burden and heaviness, and you guys not know emotionally what I was going through was honestly really

You can't do fresh.

And if you're like estrogen levels too high, and he's like, look, you're right on the casp, but because of what happened with your other egg retrieval, like.

I feel so bad.

Oh my god.

And then I forgot to say he's retiring. So this is like my doctor's last month, which means not only will I miss the next cycle because it's Christmas, I have to start with a whole new doctor in the new year. And that's why I was like so devastated and so disappointed. It just felt like such like a lot of blows.

And so.

He was like, look, your bloods aren't optimal, and you're right on the casp, but I'm so sorry for what you have been through.

If you want to.

Do the fresh transfer, we will do it. I personally think it might be a waste of a fertilized egg. And I had eight We had sorry, eight fertilized eggs. And I spoke to Tim about it and he's like, let's just do it, Like we have eight eggs, Like let's just do it, and like we'll see what happened.

And so, no joke.

I did my transfer five days later because they're five day old eggs. They let them like cook for five days, had eight eggs, did a fresh transfer, froze the rest, and we literally got pregnant. That transfer, the one they weren't gonna do, the one they said will probably be a waste. And so it was wild because I just posted on social media about infertility and then I got pregnant, and I was like, oh my god, this is crazy.

But like so divine all meant to happen.

But that's my world infertility story, and yeah, just sharing it with you guys, being very raw and honest, wild times. But look, yeah, if you have any questions, put them below. I'm happy to share. Like I said, when I went through my first experience, I wish more people had spoken about it. And then when I shared it with you guys last year, I just felt like a weight has lifted.

I hope you can respect that.

And obviously, look, we're still it's still early days.

But I'm just so happy to be pregnant.

And as much as if it was like a journey, of course, I wouldn't change a thing, and your challenges shape you. What you go through shapes you. And last year was honestly the toughest year. It was like one of the toughest years of my life for so many other reasons.

But we got there. We've got this sweet little baby.

We don't know the gender yet, so yeah, so, as you heard, guys, that was an absolute well wind. I just wanted to really open up and share and be really honest about it all because I know so many people go through and I think people think, oh, you just get pregnant and that's it, and it's just not the case for some people. And also my advice to people who are trying to conceive would be, and I know this is so hard and it's so counterintuitive, but you need to fill up your life during this period