I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson,
and this is the Rise and Concer podcast. This is the podcast where which have mindset self development and becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses and being among Think of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are in your journey, We're here to help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical
self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's seat of your own life and stop letting life pass you by, then you're in the right place. Hi, everybody, welcome back to the potty Today. We actually have Cooper joining us for a hotline episode and he's chatting all about how to navigate finances when your parents have a
scarcity mindset. I feel like ninety percent of us can relate to that question, so I'm so glad he answered that, and then our second question was all about setting boundaries within laws, and again, I feel like this is a question where a lot of people can relate. So honestly, guys, this episode is so valuable. Cooper has been on our huge you know self growth journey over the last couple of years, and he has some really great tools for you guys and insights, So I hope you love that.
But before we get into the episode, I just wanted to remind you, guys, our life happens for me. Journals were restocked last week, and I just want to say a big thank you for all of the love on this restock. Honestly, we got so many more journals because we didn't want to run out again.
And we.
Yes, we were, you know we because I just I know how valuable this tool is. So it is crazy. We are already halfway sold out our stock and it takes us months and months to get a restock of this. Hence why it's taken us so long for this restock.
So I just.
Wanted to give you a gentle nudge and say, if you want this journal, especially coming into the new year and the end of the year. If you have some intentions, some goals, this journal is literally going to be your best friend, because as we know, it's you know, manifesting is a beautiful practice, but if you're not consistently doing it, it's not.
Going to work exactly. And I actually read somewhere that spring is one of the best times to like spiritually start something because it's new beginnings. Yes, so it'd be great to start it in September.
I love spring because I even was thinking this morning and pilates of like seeing that it was like lighter earlier and just feeling this like, dare I say spring my step and it was, Yeah, it's just a great time. So if you are feeling like, you know, you want to shed some shit which is all basically what you do in journaling, and really focus on new intentions, it's such a beautiful time to do it. And I just don't want you guys to miss out if it is
something for you. And also kind of you know, speaking of being consistent with manifesting, we also did bring out our Manifesting with Momentum master class. This is going to be a ninety minute live master class with me, so it is going to be live where you can interact. I am going to be answering your questions, actually going to be asking you guys for specific things so I can teach on them. So it's going to be so potent.
You know, if you've ever tried to jump in my DMS, you know I don't coach on my DMS or anything like that. So if you did want that sort of like you know, contact and direction, this is going to be such a great place to ask your questions and really get feedback. But basically, this masterclass is for anyone who does struggle to implement manifesting twenty four to seven.
Because we're all manifesting twenty four to seven. But if you are someone who you kind of feel like you keep pulling off the bandwagon, like you can see some results, but you can't consistently see yourself implementing your manifestation practice. Basically I backtracked how I've been so consistent in my manifestation practice, and then how you guys can really use it. So it's compounding because I think a lot of people think, oh,
a quantum leap is like this magical thing that happens. No, I truly believe quantum leaps just come from a compounding effect, and how you get a compounding effect is consistency. So it feels very logical in my mind, but it just creates very magical results. And that's what I'm teaching in this masterclass. So if you are kind of you consider yourself like an expert manifesto, I guarantee you still going
to get so much out of this. But also if you're kind of new to manifesting and you really want, like I want my lifestyle to be manifesting, then this is the mask class for you, and we will leave all the links in the show notes.
I'm so excited.
Recommendation sit here.
My recommendation is the Inspired Unemployed s TV show You Can't take Mine. I've watched it before you It's so funny. Guys. If you're after something and just just pure happiness, silly laughed, get on it.
You know what's really funny to me and Tim are having this conversation. He has this weird thing where he like, he can't watch it because he feels so awkward.
It's like secondhand embarrassment.
Yeah, and no joke. He goes, I can't watch this tonight because last night I had a really bad sleep after watching it because he was like, he just like felt so awkward, and I think it gave him like anxiety or something because Tim has had like social anxiety in the past.
Oh okay, yeah.
So like that was just something I thought was really interesting. But one hundred percent, I'm actually gonna just peeback and say I double this and it's the funniest thing. I haven't watched TV or anything like that in so long. They've done well, so well, I'm obsessed with those boys, and it's just like, yeah, it was the best. Highly recommend. Let's get into the episode.
Hello, hey Gooper, we're back.
We've got a fun hotline for everyone today. So the question we had written in I'm in a good paying job. However, I struggled to save and attract as much money as I would like. I've started doing a lot of work around my money mindset over the last few months and finally had my AHA moment. My partner is in a job which allows him to own over five hundred k
a year. He has big goals to be financially abundant, have a dream home on the beach, nice car, expensive holidays, boats, etc. We have been together for five years, and it took me a long time to come around to all of this, as I always saw these people as greedy. I grew up being told that rich people were bad people and that you should live a humble life. My mom struggled financially when me and my brother were growing up and has only just started being able to save in the
last five to ten years. My mom has had to bail my brother out a few times and always complains to me about it. With this in mind, I would think she would be happy that I will be in a good position financially where I will never need to ask her for help. When I show her houses that my partner and I are looking at, she makes comments about it being too expensive and too luxurious for our
first house. She continues to send me links to houses which are cheap and nasty and in areas that I've said over and over I don't want to live in. My partner recently bought a new car for one hundred and fifty K, and I've had to lie to my mum about it as I feel ashamed and didn't want her judgment. I feel like she is what is holding me back, as I feel she will be ashamed of me and my partner in the future when we are financially well off. Side note, she just got her inheritance
from my granddad of one million dollars. However, buys everything from secondhand shops and lives in such a scarcity mindset because she grew up and raised us when she was broke. Any advice would be great. It's such a loaded question. Yeah, by the way, guys, I picked Cooper because he is our expert on abundance.
Thanks to Dear.
First of all, I like to for myself, and this is what's helped for myself, is to have a look at what control you have. So I like to write down what are the things I can't control or just and what what are the things I can control? So in this scenario, would be good to write down those things and have a look, Like you can't control someone. You can't control how her mum is going to be and how she's gonna react and her feelings, Like you
can't control that. The only thing she can control is herself. Yeah, and then her actions. So after she's written down what she can control, focus on those things and then action them things and and yeah, I wouldn't feel guilty for making more money because she's earned it. Even if her partner has earned it, she has earned it just as much as him because they're a team.
And I had.
To learn this the hard way too my relationship because and I carried that on with Ash and she just took it on board. And she would always ask me before spending money because I was always made the money and she was at home with the kids. But being a mum is a lot harder. So she has earned more than what I have earned. So until you can because there might be a bit around that, like she might have a bit of guilt of not making the money as well, so there might be a bit of
a real lifezation of no, you have earned this money. Yeah, So that's another thing she can control, Like that's something internal and and she has to believe she is rich because it does kind of sound that she doesn't.
Believe that just yet.
And she's still holding on this thing with her with her mum because if she didn't, then it wouldn't be.
A truer guilt wouldn't be there.
It wouldn't be there.
So she's still, yeah, holding onto this, So it's to let it go. And yeah, maybe some steps is to have that conversation with her mom, say in set a boundary and say hey mom. And when you have a conversation with anyone, the first thing is to give the other person a safe space. So from there, yeah, have a safe space, say whatever we talk about, it's okay, like, oh, there won't be any judgments. And to have that say space,
it's communication and just making them feel safe. And then from there you just put up your boundaries and say, look, I've earned this money, I've worked really hard, my husband has worked really hard, or partner, and this is what we want to do and this is where I'm going. If you don't want to do that, then that's fine. And then with her just wanting to still buy cheap things and that sort of thing, that's all good, like that's her life. Yeah, you can't change people.
And it's kind of almost like if she's getting upset about her mum commenting on her spending habits, should she be really getting upset and wanting to comment on her mum's spending habits.
Yeah, if something if you're getting triggered something like that, it's usually because you hate that in yourself. So it's not really the other person's issue. Yeah, because if it wasn't an issue, you'd just be like, yeah, it's all good.
Yeah, she can do what she wants.
Yeah, but if she gets triggered so thing sparks up, then it's something inside yourself. Whenever there's an issue, it's always you, and it is so annoying, trust me, because you're like, no, it's his fault, it's her fault, it's their fault, it's your fault. So whenever you get in a bad situation, yeah, just take a step back. I
like to when I get a bad feeling in my body. Yeah, I like to take a step back mentally or physically, take three deep breaths through your belly and bring your nervous system back to being as relaxed as you can.
Yeah.
Then have a look at what's going on, and you'll be it'll be way more clear. Like when you get hot headed or you start crying, yeah, fight or flight, Yeah, that's when you have to just take a step back and realize what's going on.
Wow, and what why do you think she's lied to her mum about how much the car costs? Is that guilt?
Yeah?
Yeah, it's guilty, But guilt's there for a reason, like it's doing its job. So don't feel like the guilt is bad. It's there for a good reason. It's just to listen to it and allow it and let it come in, but then process it and not let it get those deep feelings towards it and say thanks, thanks for that guilt. Brain, I'm going to take this action now. And you're the director, You're you're the controller of your mind.
So when we feel guilty, is that always a signpost that we're doing something we're not supposed to do, or is it more a signpost that there's something to work.
Through both both?
Yeah, definitely both, but yeah, it's there for a reason. So yeah, but yeah, soon from this comment, just write those things down and have the conversation with your mum. Communication key, like when you don't know something, ask Like I always find this lately a lot of people like I don't know why he or she is thinking that, and I'm like, go and ask him. Yeah, then you'll find out, Like just use communication, but to actually go and communicate, it's such a big thing for everyone.
And so I get it.
I get why they can't, but that would fix everything.
And do you have maybe two tips for listeners who want to start communicating better but get a bit nervous too.
Yeah, so write it down.
I write stuff down too, Like I feel like my communication skills are really good, but I still write stuff down and sit down with someone, with your partner or whoever you feel safe with, and write down. Yeah, I've done it, Like towards a real estate agent I had. I didn't want to call him up, so I wrote down what I would talk to him about and what he would talk to me, my intentions and but and then when I go to have that conversation. The keys to have that safe space. But be true, be true
to your word, and and it'll be really frightening. But everyone knows when you face a fear, and when you face something, it's always good on the other side. Like you always get this nice warm feeling after that. Yeah, like I can't believe I did that.
I feel so good.
And you always say, oh, I should have done it sooner. Yeah, every time. So yeah, just whatever process feels comfortable. That's what I like to do. Write stuff down, and I'm just a bit more visual, But you just tackle it head on. That's still a good approach because something bad might happen in that conversation. You might say something bad, but whenever there's something.
Bad, something good.
Yeah, So that's what I would do.
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Okay, our next question. This person's written in and she says, I am constantly triggered by my mother in law every time I hear her name or voice. Even writing this email, I feel a massive tightening in my chest and will now feel anxious for hours. I know from listening to similar episodes that this actually has everything to do with me in my issues and something I need to work through. I just have no idea where to start, so I'd
love some brutally honest advice, please. Some things that have made me triggered are when I see her name on my phone or hearing it in conversation. Anytime she sees me. It always leads to tearing her son down to my face and me feeling completely useless because I couldn't find my voice to stand up for him. Hearing her complain to her son that she never gets to see her grandson yet she lives thirty minutes away and is constantly in town. If I didn't talk to her again, it
would be a massive weight off my shoulders. But I also know that it's not fixing the.
Issue, all right.
Yeah, the answer is definitely not to block her out. And she is definitely correct that there's something inside of her what she hates that's actually inside of her mother in law. But that's a whole different thing to wine. So where she needs to try to get to is to love her mother in law for those things that
she actually hates about it. And when those triggers come in, like I said before, take a step back, do your three breaths through your belly, like put your hand on your belly, do three breaths, and then exhale it slowly and then and say thank you, thank you for that trigger, thank you for letting me know that those things annoy the shit out of me and have gratitude towards those things.
And this is another case of writing down a conversation that she needs to have with her mother in law, set some boundaries because they're getting stood on, and if that's a really big thing to have that communication and stand up for herself in that way, which that's very similar to my wife. So like the bigger thing is to go and talk to someone about it, like more like a trauma specialist therapist. But the first things, yeah, to set those boundaries and just communicate with her and say, look,
I don't like these things. I don't like when you talk like this, And it's going to be really hard to do that like that, it'd be so hard, yeah, but.
That would help her massively.
And do you feel like the because obviously one of the dot points was that the mother in law complains about not seeing the grandson and also talks down on her son, which is obviously this person's partner or husband. Do you think that would be the main sort of source of the trigger? And then this like extra reaction of every time she sees her name or thinks about her she feels anxious for hours after comes from not
having dealt with the previous triggers. Or do you think it's a whole other thing.
It's a stabbing the dark leg without her here, Yeah, and me asking her a lot of questions and what's going on.
Yeah, there's definitely.
Triggers where it has come up in her life previously, and it's just but yeah, triggers are very they're very difficult because they show up in these sorts of situations where they're not really to do with that actual person. Yeah, that person. So it's usually internal and something from a completely different scenario, maybe when they were a kid or some other trigger. So it's a loaded question.
How would yeah, how would you? Obviously we can't ask other questions. What sort of thing should she ask herself to maybe try to get to the bottom of it.
I always like to say, why why are you getting these triggers? Yeah, and dive in onto that. Whenever anyone says anything about something being triggered in their life. I just always go to why why do you do that? And answer that question, and there's usually another why question in that question, and you dive deeper and you think, why do I do that? What feeling am I going to get? What feeling do I get? And then why do I get that feeling?
Yeah?
Keep saying why and yeah, you get deeper and deeper and deeper. And she could journal her about that and go deeper, but it's hard to find what the actual triggers are without a professional. Yeah, they're just Yeah, it's a bit difficult. But on a conscious level, you just communication set in the boundaries like that's that's just the go to and.
Yeah, yeah, that's just all I would say.
And another thing, I feel like i've from reading that she's really given her power away to her mother in law, like the fact that she wrote this email and then said that she'd feel anxious for hours after she's given that power away. She could make the decision like I'm going to write this email. It's going to be uncomfortable, but five minutes later I will be fine, Like it
doesn't need to linger. But she's given all this power to her mother in law who probably is just going about her life doing whatever she won't.
It'd be nothing for her. Yeah, it would not even be anything for her. Yeah, And so she needs to take that power back and said her bad. Yeah, and it just just writes some stuff down and write what she wants to say to her.
Yeah.
But at the start of that, she needs to give her mother in law a safe space. And whenever she's triggered and she's like, oh, it's all right name Yeah, and then she is saying that in her head, she's feeding that trigger. So it's to catch that trigger and say, no, I'm grateful for her because without her, I wouldn't have my son. Yeah, that sort of thing of like what's the gratitude around this? And coming back to that and then and then when it comes up again, what's something
else that you're grateful for for your mother in law? Yeah, And when you have a bunch like because all those triggers will be bad and as you know, and there's bad, there's good, So write those bad things down. But then right there'd be math, there'd be a lot of good things about her mother in law. So yeah, she could write all those down and have a look at them. And then have a look and take a step back
and think, wow, she's actually pretty powerful. But I don't want to be around that negativity because a lot of people have their own issues and they put on their negativity to you, and then that's the boundary, that's the communication. So she'll set her boundaries and say, look, I don't want this in my life. I don't need this. If you want to come and see the kids, this is my boundary.
This is where it is. You have to.
Meet these standards of my family, otherwise you're not allowed to come. And when you do that, people respect you more because yeah, it's really I runic, because yeah, you think you want to love someone, you give them so much love, but as soon as you stop giving that love to someone, they turn around and think, hey, I'm not getting that love anymore, and they give you.
Love to get more like because they're missing yours.
Yeah, it's crazy how it works, and it goes against whatever what we think. I've been through that lately.
And yeah, yeah it's wild.
Yeah, so but that's really hard because that's gone against what lets yeah, everything you've been brought up, and it'd be like, oh, if I don't do this, I'm not going to get what I want to get. Yeah, but to actually let it go, that's when you get it. Wow. Yeah, it's easy to say, yeah, it's it's the whole other thing. But take a little step when there's a big journey ahead of you. It's that one little step at the start that you'll complete it in the end. Yeah, So take that one step.
Love it. Thanks for coming, Cooper.
Thanks for having me.
We've loved having your thoughts and so different and so insightful. We'll have to have you back one awesome bye bye.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we have a small team, so we do appreciate your time and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be
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