I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson,
and this is the Rise and Conquer podcast. This is the podcast where which have mindset, self development and becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses and being among Think of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are in your journey, We're here to help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical self awareness.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to the potty and Happy Friday. Today we have a super fun episode with Cooper. He is answering one of the most asked questions we get, how to get your partner into self development. He touches on how he got into self development how he got his partner into it, and also just how you can get anyone around you into being interested in it in
the first place. He also shares a super interesting technique that he's been using at the moment for when you get into a bit of a heated conversation with someone you love, and gives you four magic words that you can use to defuse certain situations. I may or may not have tested this with my mum, but I can confirm it wo. I will pop up a thread in the Facebook group where you can share your experience once you've tested it out, so be sure to hop in there if you're not the link will be in the
show notes. But now let's get straight into the episode. Hey Cooper, Hey dear, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you. We're so excited to chat to you today about two things. Number one is a question we actually get asked a lot in our community that I thought you'd be the perfect person to get advice from, and that is how can you get your partner into self development?
So, first of all, I would like to say that you can never force people to do things. So the question is how to get my partner into self development? But there can't be anything around it of force like you because I feel it can happen, might not happen. Of where you try and force this to your partner and like you can do it and it can work and it can be good, but it also can be bad. Where when you tell someone to do something, they use them,
don't do it, they do the opposite. A good thing is to encourage them, influence them, and like it starts from you, doesn't start from putting your stuff on them and telling them self, development is the best thing and you've got to do it. Yeah, you've got to first of all, do it in yourself. So start with yourself.
And if you're on the journey and you're feeling that it could benefit them a lot, bring them into your world, like show them what you've been doing, influence them, encourage them, and yeah, if you do this in a nice way, they might think that's pretty cool. Or if you do something, can you get a promotion at work or something else happens and you but yeah, so it just it starts
from you. So if you're pushing something on someone and it can kind of sometimes tell that you're not fully confident in yourself in that area, like when you're trying to convince someone to do something, you've got to do it.
It's usually when you don't want to do it on your own.
In yourself and you need someone to be there with you. So everything starts from you. Like you can never blame people for stuff, it's always you. So this is the same instance. So yeah, start with yourself, get fully confident in doing what you're doing and the journey you're on.
I'd love to know because we have had a few people in the Facebook group mentioned that their partners have expressed interest in starting self development, but they're just not quite sure where to maybe refer them to or what they can start on. What would sort of be your commendations on where someone could start.
For me personally, it was and I have said this story before, but it started by listening to books on audible and podcasts, So that would be my first thing to say to same one. Yeah, and like I chose money, I wanted more understanding and I wanted to conquer that. Yeah, and so that's where I started and it, yeah, just changed everything for me. So I would say that like starts gaining knowledge is power, and yeah, go from there.
And how did you get into manifestation.
I've kind of just done it naturally, like I've not really tried.
Yeah, I feel like that happens with a lot of boys, and it's.
Really I'm more like I've got a drive and I've got a passion. Yeah, and the manifesting like it it hands down works and it's it's so powerful. But I don't use those words for myself, yeah, because they just didn't really because like George's the manifesting guru, yeah, and yet the one and yeah, I just never really I never really did it, but I was doing it because.
Like you embodied it, but you didn't consciously practice anything, right, And when did you realize that you were manifesting? When did you? Like what was the moment where You're like, oh, I've actually been doing this the whole time.
I don't know, probably a couple of years down the track with naked harvests, Like I was always always doing goals and we're always like we set a year goal and we look back on at me and George and we would always get it every time. This ship and then it then yeah, like it's it's your power of what you put on that bit of paper and we could have gone bigger numbers than we could have got there. So it's just your limiting belief of where you need to get to and where you're humbled to get to.
And I don't know if you think about that, like put a big number on or put a big goal or something. So, yeah, it's the powers in you. So it was you. Everything's you start with you. It's always you with everything. But with that question, I was just thinking, like in a partnership, usually opposites of track, so it could work. Why not, but try and try and figure out where they are in their head and put yourself
in their shoes and the pressures they've got. And if it's yeah, towards the ale, like with self development, he might not have the space to do it because he's got so much stuff going on in his head with pressures and I don't know, trying to provide and that sort of thing. So put yourself in his shoes or
her shoes and pitch yourself there. Yeah, and then think how can I influence you, encourage you in that way so they get down on their level because yeah, they might not want to even believe this stuff or that sort of thing, and so you try and work out how to.
And would you almost say that it could even work better if instead of going I'm going to get you into self development kind of thing of like I've been really I've been reading this really good book. You might like it and just start with things like that.
Yet Yeah, so just like get on their level and get in their head and like, I.
See what's consuming their mind kind of thing.
Yeah, ask them some questions. So just ask them questions like why why don't they want to do it? I always do like that word why I use it all the time.
Does anyone ever feel attacked when you say that?
Well, you just say it in a nice, safe way, ye say, Oh, that's really like supportive if you're ever in a conversation if you have said this, like give a safe space and be supportive if you're doing that, and just say if you're saying like, oh, it'd be really hard to do self development with what's going through your head, and like you just give them support and then they'll they ego will kind of lower down and be like and then allow something.
In right, so like validate how they're feeling, yeah, and then ask what support?
Yeah, just making them feel safe and they might bring up something completely different and non related, but you might get a good conversation. So like, I ask those deepig questions, but not too deep because then your skin.
But yeah, so well, I know there was something else you wanted to talk about on the podcast today. Do you want to share with us? I think it flows on nicely from what you were just talking about. Ego.
This has come up a few times in conversations with friends and family and in a conversation when you're in the fight or flight mode and someone's wants to be right. M So it's a big thing that our egos need to be right. And I got this from a book. It's not what book, but the author's Wayne Dyer. All this stuff. He's the man, yeah, and what he preaches and what he tells people to do in conflict in those situations. I do this with my wife as well, and I give her the information so she can use
it on me. And just don't do that too much. Though I've heard that, oh you kind of use it too much, then it won't work. But you use it here when it needs to be done. Otherwise, if you do it too much, you just like shut the hell up, because sometimes you need to let it out yeah, And it's yeah to lower the ego because when you're arguing.
You want to be right absolutely.
Yes. So when someone comes in and says, I don't know, you go into a party. I think he kind of says that, why did you put the food out on the table like that? It's such a weird way, like you should have done it this way, yeah, or something in those lines of like you should have done it like that like this, yeah, and you say four words and those four words are you're right about that? I have to make it.
I know. It's full.
Pressure, so funny. Yeah. So when they say those things, like you picture it in your head and they're trying to be right, and you're like, you should have done it like that, and you just say, yeah, you're right about that.
What are they going to do? But can't do anything?
You can't do anything, And then their ego just goes down, like I'll be my mind's down, just lowers down. And then they might try and bring it up again because they might say, oh, well, next time, do it this way. You're going to do it that way, and then you say, no.
Probably not.
I'm going to do it my way because that's what I want now, and they might say no, but this is a better way. Then you say, yeah, you're right about that. It's like, so it's a really cool tool I've been using and you can use it anywhere in any conversation when it gets heated, like let them be right?
And how do you almost stop that from I guess being a rollercoaster because in my head when you told that story, it's like they ask you and you say, yeah, you're right, and then they have to kind of back off. And then if they follow up and say, you know, do that like the next time, you're not gonna lie, so you say no, I'm probably gonna do it my way again, and then it like almost fires back up
again and they need to be right. So is it just sort of like you just keep saying that until they just don't ask again.
If you want to, but test it out like it yeah, probably won't go or because they'll figure out I'm not getting anywhere with this person because yeah, they're so content and not getting fired up. They probably want to fight, yeah, and they want that conflict, but you're not giving it to him, and then they just think.
And how have you I guess navigated the difference of knowing when to do that and when that person just needs to like let a bit of steam out and to guys, I guess let them just be angry.
Well, another thing you can kind of do is put yourself in their shoes. Yeah, so I said this this morning to my mom and dad. And like when someone's grumpy when they're working or something, can they're grumpy and they're giving you your bad energy and you just think, man, that guy's so grumpy, like you get aggressive and you're like, yeah, but like imagine being them if they've had something personal big in their life happen and they're just having a
bad day. And I'm getting this off when Diane as well, and he says, like, just say some nice words, Just say, oh man, this job would be so hard, Like you've got such a hard job, you do so such an amazing job and you're doing so well, like it must you must be a bit tired or I don't know, say something nice and then that's their ego down and they're like thanks so much for noticing, because I just want to be noticed or they have some sort of need and because if you just think if you fire up,
they're going to fire back. And yeah, it's the ego again, and you kind of just don't let that happen. And yeah, your instincts might be to go for it. Yeah, but if you've got enough time, sometimes you don't, but to take three deep breaths in your belly and that really calms your nervous system down.
And how have you worked on I guess being so aware of like your instinct to I guess fire back and stop yoursel well from doing that. Is it just like the conscious breadths before you say anything back? Or do you have any other tips on because I'm a bit of a fiery person as well. And if someone you're you haven't seen it yet, I can be But if someone like pushes a button, I struggle, Like as soon as I've said the thing, I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have I just should have kept quiet. They're obviously
just having a bad day. But how did you bring that awareness from like after you've said it too, before you say it? It's just practice.
Yeah, so you kind of you catch yourself and that's the first thing, and being aware of it, because not many people aren't even aware and they just go for it. So being aware is the first thing. And then you go from there. When that happens again, I'm not going to do that thing. Yeah, I'm gonna be more content and be more calm and how can I do that? And you figure out a plan and yeah, step by step it becomes you get like evidence that you're trying
to not be that person that's aggressive. And yeah, you get to the point where it might just get you, because it'll get you and you might even just close your eyes and go and then go for it. There's something really simple or like, yeah, just keep practicing it if you want to do it though.
Yeah, yeah, the powers in you, yeah.
To me than anyone else. So yeah, that's a that's a cool thing I've been doing and it's been working really well.
I love that. I actually can't wait to try that words.
You're right about that.
You're right about that music. I feel so wrong to say, like so cat, yeah, you're right about that.
Try it. Everyone, try it.
Everyone try it will pop up both thread in the Facebook group and let us know how it felt and if it worked yep.
Because if they're yeah, I can just picture it like someone coming.
Home fully get thrown off guard.
And then like yeah, you're in. You're in a relationship and you're getting home and the other person's had not much sleep, and then you do something wrong that doesn't make sense and they fire back at you. Just say, yeah, you're right about that. You must be having a really bad day. And then just.
See, they'll calm down.
They'll be like, I am having a bad day, thanks for noticing, and then you'll have a good conversation.
I love that. Thank you for sharing, Cooper. It's all right, and we'll see everyone in the next episode.
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