The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and terrest Rate Islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts.
This is the podcast for ordinary.
People who want to do extraordinary things. If your love language is touched, you need to know how to like sort that out, yes, because you can't always you know, rely, I just think that's on the od vibrator.
Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conker Podcast.
It is your host, Georgie Stephenson and guys, I'm back with another Geez hotline. These other episodes where you send in your life dilemmas and I provide you with my very young qualified two cents on the situation, and of course a tea is joining us. So guys, disclaimer, this episode is so chaotic. We went completely rogue.
It's more than last time.
We say this every time and then we just keep topping it and it's a bit spicy. I don't know how I feel about it, to be honest, I spoke to a Tea and Ellie and I'm like, do we just cut it chunk out? Yeah, it's a bit of appropriate, But as I say in it, we are grown ass women a TIA and we can talk about these things. Don't get me wrong, I will talk about these things all day, every.
Day with you know friends.
Yes, I guess I'm just conscious because we do get a bit spicy. We talk about sex life and when I lost my virginity, and like, I don't mean to be a prude because I'm really not in person. But then I remember that thousands of people listen to this, and I also don't know who listens to this, and I also know my mom and family members listen to this.
So I'm gonna have to send my mum a message and just be like, look, dead's not the yep for you, not at all, not at all, but also happy to talk about it because.
We are grown ass women ATIA.
We are we are, So I'm sorry if we get a bit ooh, this is so inappropriate, But I was a little bit embarrassed, But definitely listen to this one with earphones and if you're in a public place. Yeah, that's a great recommendation. A tea recommendation for the week. Mine is to Actually I've been doing it bit by bit every day. I don't I try not to spend too much time on it. But cleanse your Instagram following.
Oh yeah, yes, I love a good cleanse. Yeah, because I actually saw someone post that they went and unfollowed anyone who they followed that followed Andrew Tate.
Ah love and we love that.
Yes, we hate Andrew, we do.
We could do a whole episode of that. Let us know if you want that. Yeah.
But yeah, it's like, how would you find that out? You just click on his profile and you can. It'll show you who follows him that you follow Oh my god. Yeah. And I saw a few people's names and I was like, that doesn't seem right. So I actually DM them and I'm like, oh, why you following? I love you so much? You should unfollow him? And they're like because it was guys and yeah no, and they said, no, I don't
believe any of it. It's just funny to watch because he's so crazy, and I'm like don't just don't give him that attention.
Yeah, that's an excuse. I do not accept that. Did you then go on and follow those people? Well, they unfollowed him. I've read them oh good, oh good, or good?
But yeah, I am followed everyone I followed that followed him, And then it just got me thinking like, hey, let me cleanse it. And Instagram actually shows you in your following section. Now you're least interacting. So that's where I went, and I just do five minutes of that every day to just check. I love that. It's like a spring clean vibes.
Yeah. My recommendation for the week is if you have me on socials, I'm doing a hot girl reset.
I just love it.
I just want to disclaim hot girl does not mean I think I'm a hotel because I like put this on my stories and Tim's like, why do you keep calling yourself a hot girl? And I was like, it's a TikTok trend. It doesn't actually mean I think I'm a hot girl. A hot girl like prioritizes herself and her self care and her healthy going on a hot girl walk, it doesn't necessarily He was like, I just don't think everyone knows this so concerning, Like he genuinely gets embarrassed for me.
Sometimes I think everyone knows it except.
It okay, good because I was like, oh gosh, oh gosh, So guys, I've been on a hot girl reset where basically, you know, I've come off the back of some really big launches, some really exciting stuff. And when my work life ramps up, because I'm so strict with my boundaries with Ivy, the thing that falls is my self care, my healthy habits, and my friends.
I love your friends. So I just like.
Wanted to do a little challenge for myself and I wanted to put on Instagram and also I'm telling you guys now here, just to keep myself accountable, just bed tiny things. And it's like these are also things that it's not restrictive. It's let's just put these healthy habits back in there, because I know myself habits are aren't hard once you have created them, if that makes sense. They just become routine. It just becomes what you've done. So I was like, I just need to like stick
to these things for a week. It's going to become easy and I'll get back into routine. And so my little hot girl habits were increase my veggies. That was important because it was just like proteins and carbs for comfort food, comfort food and just quick and easy. And because it's a bit cold, I was off salad, but then vegetables it take so long to cook, so literally really fall enough. So just increasing our veggies. We know
good few fiber vitamins and minerals. I wanted to increase my water intake, so at least two leads a day, which I'm doing with my fun little water bottle. I've got that you cannot see ten minutes of meditation and journaling. I do that already, but just you know, want to put that in their daily movement again. I do that already. Limit caffeine.
I love that one. So she always has.
Two coffees a day. You know the sitier, and I just know it's not a good friend.
I love it.
I love it so much, So to one coffee, like, let's not be dramatic and yeah, you don't have cut it out, no, So one coffee a day, one coffee at one pre workout. And then also my collagen, so I don't talk about collagen a lot bit. Collagen is like my ride or die product that I took while I was pregnant and also post partum, just to because baby takes all your collagen. Oh yeah, Like I actually had my GP be like, yeah, take collagen while you're pregnant,
because baby just takes it all. That's why they say like girls take your beauty and stuff like that.
Oh, because they're sucking all your collagen. Now, yeah, they literally take your collagen.
So I was really big on that and I just felt like it really helped. And the last month I just have been so lazy of my daily collagen and I've noticed my skin and my hair and nail had nail sorry, just like I don't know, feeling a bit gross, feeling a bit like, eh, not shiny, not fun. So sticking to the collagen and obviously a little sneaky plug there is with my veggie intake using my n H greens and then also with limiting caffeine, we have a stim free pre workout, so it has been you know, easier.
Do you have collagen that's very nice? Oh?
Yes, of course, the collagen, the pure collagen. It's just tasteless.
But yeah, I've just been.
Doing a Hot Girl reset and it is day five and I've like stuck to it and I feel really good and I think it's you know, it may even be place ebo, but just sticking to some routines and like proving to yourself and knowing that you're creating good habits has been really nice.
I love that, all.
Right, guys, without further ado. Oh also sorry, Like the topics are we talk about love languages, we talk about.
What else manifesting, like big things verse little.
Things, big things versus little things and vibrators.
No, look, you on to love it. Let's get straight into it. So our first hotline question, Georgie, I saw you post a story about your love language being touch and you had just gotten a ninety minute massage. I was just wondering if things like this really fill up your love language cup because mine is also majorly touched, and my partner is a very physically unaffectionate person, so I often feel largely lacking in that portion of my needs.
Oh, I love this question too, she says every question.
Yes, these are the best questions ever. This is why we chose some. I love this question.
So my love language definitely touch, but also quality time.
Yeah, both of them up there. It honestly depends on the mood which one is more important. Yeah, but I've asked Tim's also.
His is definitely quality time, and I think acts of service okay, which I'm horrible at doing access, which is probably why it's his. Definitely if your love language is touch. And so I have every second week I have an acupuncture plus massage appointment.
I love that. I actually have one today, very.
Excited, and it's just like it's booked in every two weeks, so it's a reoccurring appointment. And I started getting acupuncture when I was trying to conceive, and then I just found this acupunctress who like she also does acupuncture and then like kind of finishes off with a sneaky little massage love and I was like, this is amazing. That's ever Yeah, And I found that that just like filled up my cup. And so then I started really seeking
out regular massage places. And so the big thing with the massage places is it has to be for me, someone who's like a bit woo woo and spiritual, so someone can hold space for me and talk about not energetics. But it's not like I go to a massage place, you.
Know, weird music playing, Yeah, or like you.
Get a different person, like my massage place is I've found I go to the exact same person.
I know who I'm getting.
I love her energy, I'm I feel really safe in that environment, and I like how she massages. So it's an experience, yeah, and it really fills up my cup. So I think definitely, like if your love language is touch, you're going to enjoy it. It might just be about finding like the right messuse. And I think also some people just are less affectionate. So if so with your partner, like it is just going to be a little bit harder if your love language is super like I want
to be affectionate. I want to be touched all the time. I think it's definitely a conversation that you have with him. Yeah, but I think do what I do, go get a message. Tim's actually a very affectionate person, but like for me, I get away from me.
My love likeguage is not touch right now. My love language is touched, but only with my business.
But that's what I mean as finding different ways to inject that in your life, I think is so crucial.
I love that idea and just I've never thought about it like that.
And so quality of time too is I find obviously quality time with Tim, but quality time with myself, Oh my god, is like this is me.
Literally, I need at least two to three hours by myself a week, at least at least oh gosh, Like Wednesday is my favorite day because I'm at home for beauty and no one else is at home, so I have the entire house till like five pm. Oh my god, I love.
Yeah, when you're living at home and having the entire house to yourself is just like a dream. Literally, I come from a family of four kids, and anytime I would be hurt myself, I'm like, oh my god, this house is so big. Literally, but that's like something we do, especially since IVY is. I tell Tim like I just need a couple of hours. I'll go get a message, I'll go to the.
Beach and journal.
And even though a lot of people like I just don't have the time, it's like you make the time absolutely. And I think knowing your love language is so a big thing that she said is like he doesn't meet my needs, meeting your own needs yes, So then anything on top is like a little bonus.
Yes. I love that, And just knowing your love language so that you can do that. Yeah, because what's the love language book? Oh, I don't know that. Have you never read the book? No, I've just read up a lot about it. But the five love Languages how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. That is why I've not read this book.
He is like, cannot relate, not applicable, but just think of yourself.
Yeah, but I think it's very.
Valuable knowing your love language, oh absolutely, and knowing how to meet your own needs. Also, this is going to be a bit crazy, and I'm just gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
Tmis like, oh my god.
So this person too.
If your love language is touch, you've got it and you've got a partner. I think I was gonna say it for that stop myself. I think this person also, you've got to learn how to satisfy yourself sexually.
Dying.
So inappropriate for me as a boss to be talking about.
This, but it's for the podcast.
Good. I agree.
I think, especially.
If your love language is touch, you need to know how to like sort that out, yes, because you can't always you know, rely, but yeah, that's just a little tidy. I just think that's something a vibrator.
What I can't give you recommend out please Jaming, I will die.
Don't cut that out of me. I can give you Viboda recommendations if you want.
Not your tea out of the audience.
A tears, Mom, I'm sorry.
We are fucking grown women. A tear.
Real about thirty. For God's sake, I think just going off that A tear in saying that I am someone like in my twenties. It has only been my later twenties that I have like figured it out and realized how I don't want to say the word freeing, but how empowering and important it is to know your own body. Yeah, I didn't respond to Jamie. Can you move the Gold Coast so we can have these discuptions because Tea just doesn't respond.
No, I totally agree. It is very important, even if it's down to just checking your breasts next. I seem to be incredibly good at manifesting little things, things that are only a passing thought of that'd be nice. However, I seem to be stagnant on my bigger dreams or things that I really want and can't seem to manifest them in the same way. I've tried breaking down into smaller steps, but can't seem to crack my big goals, some of which I've had for years. Now, what do
you think I should do? Ps og r and Z project gal I joined round one and the minute it opened and I loved it so sweet. I love my rn C project. Bam, this is a good question. It's like, I think it's very relatable.
Yeah, so my initial thing that comes up here is if you find it easy to manifest smaller things rather than like bigger things, I guess my initial gut reaction is.
For the bigger things, you need to feel worthy of them. Yes, is that what you were thinking? That's exactly what I was going to say. Do you feel worthy of the big thing? Exactly?
Because it's actually quite funny. I'm actually the opposite where I struggle to manifest smaller things.
Must be nice, as I say, first problems.
Poor me. But even sometimes like manifesting a car park, that's a small thing. And sometimes I'll be on the way somewhere and I'll be like, oh, I really need a car park out front, because like I haven't got enough time, blah blah blah. But then like oh, we're getting close, and I'll be like, there won't be.
One, and.
No, I'm not joking, And I struggle. It wears big goals and I'm like, of course, of course I'm worthy of that, but not a car worthy of my dream house?
What are you stupid? But a car bar you got? I'm no. And it's so I think it's really about worth.
Yeah, And I think there's something Obviously this person knows about limiting beliefs. They know about the RNC project formula, so they do have the tools. I just think they may need to go deeper and work on the self belief, work on the self esteem about why maybe they think they can't have those things.
Yes, And I think also, are you placing an unnecessary weight or putting a goal on a pedestal that it doesn't need to be on, and that in itself is stopping you from achieving it? Interesting because I feel like some everyone looks at goals differently in terms of what's a little thing, what's a big thing? Because I would say that you call a car park a little thing. I was like, oh, maybe like an expensive item is a little thing, but someone else might look at that
as a big thing. And by calling it a big thing, you're automatically kind of saying you're not worthy. Yeah, like putting a label on it. Yeah.
Yeah, And well this buys into what's your story around this thing, because she's already said I've had this goal for years and it just doesn't happen for me. Yes, So I think there is some sort of story going on here. I'd love to have more details about what it is actually, Yeah, because yeah, I think there's maybe a story that is replaying here that you think this thing is really hard and really big, and it's easy to manifest small things but not big things, whereas the
actual truth of manifesting is everything is the same. The energy it takes to manifest a car park is the exact same.
As the energy it takes to manifest a six million dollar house, in which would you rather up.
Me?
I will take the house please. Here I am with my car pug.
He was like, I will take the car bar. But I think again, I think you hit the nail on the head. There are tear once you get your head around the whole. Even calling it a big thing and then calling the small things small things. Yeah, I think there's a story playing here that deep down it's worth or you have some sort of labels that are running the show rather than seeing everything as.
The same energy. Yeah, and I think maybe even try and find an expander that's achieved this goal, to try and sort of shrink it down in a way for you. Yeah, because I find that expanders helped me not only believe that I can do it, but also bring it back down to earth in the sense that it's literally so achievable. Look at the amount of people that have done it.
Yes, you know what's interesting A Tia, And I'm sorry I keep bringing up this episode, but the episode we did with Jason yes last Tuesday.
If you haven't listened, you gotta so.
It was really interesting because didn't we When we were like researching for the episode, we found out LSKD was like a fifty million dollar business or something like. Yes, outrageous like that. And it's really funny because I have been to the LSKD HQ and I have, like, I know the team, I've worked with them, and it is really impressive. But it's like they're still just a team, and it's like absolutely naked harvest. I still just have
a team. Yeah, And it's like it really expanded me because I obviously have big goals and dreams for Naked Harvest, but we're obviously nowhere near at that fifty million dollar mark. But just to see Jason and like for him to sit in front of me and then to know that the in and out workings of his team is and obviously it's bigger and it's more impressive, but it made it.
More Oh, I can do it too.
Yes, And it was such a great expander for me, and I think that's it's so true. Let's find someone who has achieved that goal, who has similar circumstances. Because a big thing about Jason, as we come from the same area, yeah, which is that's like one sore, one little thing that just makes me, Yeah, he can do it.
I can do it too. So yeah, that's a that's a great thing too. Is fine in a expander. So on last week's episode, you guys would have noticed that we did a little bit of a big question to start with after our rogue hotline that was chaotic. That was chaotic. We did put up a question box on Instagram if there was any other taboo topics that you guys wanted us to talk about. So we thought we might include some here and there in the Hotline episodes just to spice it up. And one we both really
liked was weddings outside of church, sex before marriage? Who to invite? And then it says f E. But I think she means I E fights with siblings. So if you're having a massive fight with your sibling, do you still invite them to your wedding? Kind of thing? Interesting? I love talking about weddings.
And also I think we can put in their e lope or do a ceremony. Oh yeah, okay, So I got married three years ago, so I had.
A lot of takes on this. What's the first question? The first one is doing it outside of church? Well, I'm not really like, I guess outside of your religious institution if you are religious. Yeah, well I'm not religious, So that was an easy one.
I personally couldn't think of anything worse than having my wedding in a church when I'm not religious.
Yeah weird, Yeah that feels weird. Did you have it in like a chapel though?
No? Okay, so we had it no, yeah, just like at a place and it just had a beautiful.
View of the Hindland. Oh nice.
Yeah, I been saying that I've got a girlfriend who's not religious, but they had it in a chapel and the whole ceremony was quite religious, just because her family is quite religious and she just like wanted to please them, which I thought was quite sweet.
Yeah that is nice. Yeah, so what was your ceremony?
Like?
Super casual and super fun.
We did our own vowels. The guy was like really funny and just very fun and homie.
Yeah. Yeah, what would you do? I definitely want the religious We call it a nicker when you get married, but that doesn't have to be done in a mosque. So I think it would just come down to where in the world I'm getting mad married and the costs and who to and who to because this is this is not a thing I went through on my head.
Because, for example, if you marry a man who is not Muslim.
Yeah, I think I'd still want a knicker, yes, and to be married Islamically, would you? I wonder if he could dissipate.
It's just you at the wedding.
I actually don't know. I should check on that.
Actually, this is a rogue question. Would you ever marry someone who isn't Muslim?
Yes? But their values need to match mine. Love that, So I have no issue marrying someone not Muslim as long as our values aligned, but because a lot of mine tend to align with my religion. But also as.
Long as he was super respectful of your beliefs. Religion exactly.
And I would never want him to stop doing anything that because obviously I don't drink and stuff like that. But say he had a wine here and there. I wouldn't ever want a press for someone to stop. But I would have to be okay with that. Yeah. Yeah, But I would never make someone stop being who they are just because they're marrying me. Good, I would hope not.
No.
All right, next question, sex before marriage? I love her follow ups.
I'm just gonna go road and be very open and say.
I had sex when I was fourteen.
Oh my god. Yeah, I was a child, and I.
So in Jehovah's witness. Is that against the rules?
Yes? Rules?
I was no longer Jehovah's witness.
Oh okay, I was like and also I was going through my rebel teenage stage.
I was a bad teenager. I was.
It was really funny because I started being a rebel and going to parties and stuff when I was fourteen fifteen, and then I became really studious in grade eleven and twelve, Like I've pulled it together, yeah, and.
Like stop going to parties and like stop drinking and stuff. Oh wow. Yeah.
So I had like a really bad stint when I was younger and then kind of got through it. And then it's funny because everyone else was going through their rebel stage and I was.
Like, been there, done that. So I can't believe I.
Just said that on air.
So I had sex quite young.
Yeah, it's something now looking back, I didn't even understand the whole concept.
And it is just because my parents.
Had the belief that you don't have sex before marriage. Yeah, so I didn't get did they both follow that? They say? Literally I asked them and they're like, we never had sex before marriage when I was younger, and then like now they're like, yeah, of.
Course we didn't. And I was like you why would you say that? Is you know, no wonder why I went through a rebel stage?
You lied to me anyway, So I.
Was like pushing back.
But now, looking back, this is a random rant. But for example, I've had this conversation with Tim that with Ivy. I to be very open about sex because my parents weren't, and I went through it at a stage where I actually didn't really understand the whole concept, and I wish I had more information and more just understanding because I don't think I would have had sex so young.
That makes so much sense, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's almost if you don't talk to someone or have an open conversation about those things, they're more likely to do it. And then it's like when you're underage drinking.
I feel like it's the easiest way to explain it is that you'd rather do it in the safe space because you're going to do it anyway, so at least be educated and understand what you're doing before you do it, because then you can make an educated decision as to whether to do it or not.
Correct And for me, in that situation, all my friends had already had sex, so I just thought it was the thing I think we all did. Yeah, And I also I did have a long term boyfriend and he was really sweet and it was fine. Yeah, But but now looking back, I wish there was some more openness
and some conversation about it. Yeah, for me to actually having an understanding about sex, not it being like this weird exclusive thing that you don't have sex before you're marriage, and yeah, because it's just that's not applicable for everyone.
I feel like it.
I love the concept, not really, I don't love it, but like I understand the concept of no sex before marriage, but if it's not applicable, I think it's important for young women to understand it. Yeah, just everyone, of course, it needs to be something that I think they do talk about it more in schools now than they did when we were in school.
I remember sex ed, but it wasn't sex ed. It was like, here's how reproduction work.
Yeah, I feel like, but that's what I mean, Like I just had no concept of again tear my about how to like what felt good for me, how like knowing my body, Yeah, understanding about what sex is actually about and how you should feel very empowered and you know, it should be feel very like.
Knowing what good feels like vers knowing what bad feels like. Yeah, kind other than just like things being painful or not painful.
Yeah, yeah, I think just openness about it. Yeah, because it felt like this naughty thing. And I think also being a young rebellious child, a naughty thing. You want to go do it? Yes, He's like, cannot relate. I'm like, I was just the most uptight kid ever up tied here. I was like getting drunk, dying and feels and grateful.
My mom told me I needed to learn how to take a joke, so I borrowed a Knock Knock joke book from the library. Oh tear, you're so sweet. I love you.
It's funny because you're not that uptight now.
No, no, no, I've chilled out good. I was wound up, like wow. It was insane interesting in the sense that to the point that my teachers had to work with me to not get an entire week's worth of homew I've done on the day they gave it to me, because I'd just like stay up till midnight. In primary school, I would stay up till midnight doing the homework they gave to me that day when I had a week. There was something going on there. What, Yeah, it was a crazy concern. I was. I don't know why I
was wound so tightly, but I'm fine now. So it's okay. We love this transflation for you anyway.
That's my view what's your view on sex before marriage?
I don't know your moment.
No, your religion is no sex before marriage, just like Jehovah's witness.
I feel like I feel close religions are no sex before Maria. Yeah, and I haven't had a boyfriend, so I can't really comment because I don't know what I would want to do. She'll get back to us. Yeah, I don't think i'd ever casually do it just to do it, you know, like this, I'm not going to download Tinder and go hook up with someone just because I want to have sex? Why not? Though I don't want to right now, But that's the things you don't want to I couldn't tell you why for someone who
does want to have sex, Oh, go for it. Yeah, Like I have no issue with that.
Yeah good, Yeah, it's because that's actually not like for me myself and I I felt like growing up there was such a stigma around like slutty girls and that sort of thing, which now looking back.
I'm like, what is wrong with people? Yeah?
And that's like another conversation that I want to have with Ivy and like just being like you should feel empowered.
To sleep with as many people as you want.
Yeah safely please Yeah, yeah, obviously safely. But also it's like, if you're a person who enjoy sex and you love yeah, you love that experience and it feels really good for you and really empowering, you should feel empowered to go and.
Do that thing. Absolutely.
You shouldn't feel like, oh, society says as a woman, I should sleep with one persons off in my whole life.
Guys get praised for sleeping with lots of women, but girls get shatter. This is this is a whole other episode.
Yeah, it is like and I grew up with three brothers, so you can imagine, yeah, toxic masculinity.
Yeah, in it wasn't toxic.
Like my brothers are great, they're very respectful.
Yeah, I want to put that on there.
But yeah, it's just a whole thing where it's like you get to decide and I just want again, this is me talking about Ivy is.
I just want her to feel.
Really empowered and her to make that decision and in the end, like it's all it's all left us.
Yeah, And I feel like another important thing that isn't spoken enough about feeling empowered to have sex verse sex making you feel good because you're happy someone wants to sleep with you because your self esteem is that low. Yeah, Like, I've seen both ends of the stick, and I it's like a weird subject to broach with someone because they're always like, oh, but it makes me feel good. And I know you can't really tell someone that something's making
them feel good for the wrong reasons. But it's more like the dip after that is so low that they just need to sleep with someone else to get on a high. Yep, Like it's kind of addictive. Interesting.
I've I don't have a lot of thoughts on the topic because I've never thought about it, yeah, or been in that scenario because I'm someone who's had a boyfriend like her whole life.
Yeah, or wait, he's my husband and my boyfriend to.
Ask, Yeah, and like both long term relationships. But yeah, I understand what you mean.
Yeah. Interesting, that's all I upset on that. Okay, I love this. Who to invite to your wedding? I love this.
I'm a big advocate that you don't have to invite everyone. It's just who you like, So just because they're family doesn't mean they get to come to your wedding. Ooh, huge advocate like, for example, my wedding was expensive. Yeah per head, you're paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars per head.
Yeah. So it's like if you're just inviting people to please that person, well, not like to please a person who's getting invited, yeah, or just because you think you have to. I don't know, not a vibe for me. What would you say, say you have a group of six girlfriends, Yeah, and you get along with five of them, and then the extra one is like a mutual friend of someone that's come into the group and you'reinly vibe. Do you have to invite that person? No? No, why you'll invite the it's my wedding.
I so a big thing that I'm sim with the the big thing that I do is would I be invited to their wedding?
And what if you would be? Then what do you do? Oh yeah, true? Yeah? Well yeah, or what if you have been invited to their wedding? Oh yeah, look, I'd probably just didn't mind that. I'd probably feel bad.
But also I think with that whole friend's situation, before the wedding invites went out, I would have a conversation with that person and go, look, I love your company. I obviously spend a lot of time with you could because we've come together because of mutual friends. I just want to let you know our wedding is super intimate and it is quite expensive, and for that reason, we have had to just be very you know, particular with
who were invited. And I'd love for you to come to the engagement party, but you just you're not on the wedding list.
Was your wedding intimate like eighty people? Okay, yeah, that's pretty small. Yeah, I think you can say that. And I and I feel like anyone who's having a big wedding you just got to stuck it up and invite the people. Yeah. I don't know, I don't agree with that.
I just like, if you had your wedding people there, who knows, three hundred people?
There were three hundred people at my uncles.
Oh that's a whole other thing. Yeah, that's like family family vibes.
Yeah. Wait, the sibling question. Yeah, so it's like, do you invite your sibling if you're having a fight with them to your wedding? I think you do.
Yeah, I agree, if you don't think this fight is going to last forever, I think you do. I think even if you think the fight's going to last forever, you invite them because of your sibling and you don't know what's going to happen. What if you mend this relationship, no matter how broken it is at that point in time, and then you come to regret not having them there?
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah, Like I another actual thing just to note on that with the people is something I did at my wedding is I said for extra people who I was close with, but it's like, you know, we didn't have enough seats or whatever. I did say, you can come to the ceremony, we just don't have enough spots for you at the you know, Oh that's nice after party or whatever. The reception, Yeah, reception, the after party, that thing.
I've heard that some people sell tickets to their reception ticket what do you.
Like, make them pay for it.
Yeah, they'll pay for like the eighty people, and they'll have a ceremony with one hundred people and they'll say, oh, if you want to come to the reception, it's going to be two hundred dollars. What are your thoughts on that? Oh, I just don't have them. That's weird. Yeah, you can't ask someone to pay. Again, I was.
About to say, but I come from a wedding where like we paid for everything, even with like the bridesmaids and groonsmen and stuff like we just yeah, I just had the view like if I'm not making them be a bridesmaid. But I was just like I didn't want anyone, especially because like when I got married, like I was twenty two or twenty three, So it's like, so you were young. I was young, and I knew a lot
of our friends didn't have a lot of money. Yeah, and I wasn't gonna make them like fork out a lot of money just so we could have our special day. But did you have like, were you pretty financing stable at that point? Somew It definitely cost us a lot of money. But for example, if you're making the decision to have a big wedding, I think you should wear the cost.
That was just our view.
So we were happy to wear the cost, yeah, and just be broke for a bit because it did left us, you know. But then I think that's why if you're someone who wants to have this lavish wedding and all the extras, but then you want, you know, everyone to pay money to come.
I just I don't know, I don't think that's very fair. Yeah, no, I totally agree in that sense. But what about It's interesting because I know a lot of people that have also asked bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for the suits or dresses and to shoes. Yeah, like if it's a couple of hundred dollars or whatever like for like those people. Yeah, I think that's fine.
I just think asking people to pay for their seat at a reception or for example, I think this is just my view. Bridesmaids, if you want them to have an expensive dress, you know, a Zimmerman or a Beckon Bridge or something like that that is over two hundred dollars, I think you should pay for it.
Yeah, absolutely, or like subsidize the cost majorly. Yeah, because I've known people who literally make their brides maids pay for like eight hundred dollars dresses. No, And it's like I just am like, oh my gosh, I said, I meant never buy dress from Pedal and Pup. They ordered, yes, well that's yeah.
The last wedding I went to literally my dresses from Pedal and Pup and I was like, of course I'm gonna buy it. Yeah, exactly, and like amazing, But yeah, I think I don't know. I've just known a couple of stories of like people having bougie weddings, but.
Like then wanting people to pay for things. I'm like, what another question on weddings, what is the appropriate amount to gift a couple if they're having a wishing well wedding or what is an appropriate wedding gift? First? Inappropriate wedding gift?
I always do money because as someone who had a wedding, I would want money. Yeah, because you're just trying to repay all the money you spent. Yeah, do you want an actual amount? Because I'm happy to do that.
Yeah.
I reckon, let's do it and then let's pull the audience on what they think.
Yeah, this is also remembering. This is as a couple.
I think it's to get around if you're a single person. As a couple, if it's someone we're not as close with, but it's like you've been invited to the wedding, mutual friends having fun.
Like maybe you're seated towards the back of the reception kind of relationship with the person.
Yeah, you're at the back yeah, I reckon like two hundred to three hundred. Yeah, absolutely, any close friends, we've always gone like five hundred. Yeah, because for example, our wedding, I remember it was close to two hundred per head. Yeah, so you're basically covering what your per meal and drinks are. Yeah, knowing this person has just spent a lot of money and you really love this person and you want them.
To have a great day, and would you give them a gift as well? Then no, or like say if you were a bridesmaid, Oh yeah, if.
You're a bridesmaid, because you do a little gift, you're you know, all the bridesmaids.
Put in and you get her a little gift.
Yeah, I think that's fine it and then like a little bit of money and a yeah yeah, So like rule of FuMB depending on the wedding, it's kind of how to cover your own costs to a certain extenth to just like help them out and enjoy the day. But in saying that, yeah, I think I don't know if that's I don't know where that sits in the realm of how other people.
I kind of look at it the same. I would put about one hundred to one hundred and fifty dollars in yeah, by myself, Yes, because I'd say that's probably around what the wedding would cost. Yeah. Or I'd get them something that I know they need, Like if I know they're just about to move out and they might need something for their kitchen, and I have a good relationship with them and I know that they need that specific thing, I will do it, but with a gift receipt.
Always with a gift receipt just in case they get given five of them. But otherwise you have money. Yeah. The last thing I wanted to talk about eloping versus having a ceremony, verse having a huge wedding or a small wedding. I think it's just completely up to you.
If it's really important for you to have your big day and you want, you know, the big ceremony, then like do that. But if it's not really your vibe, I wouldn't bother quote unquote wasting the money.
How did you and Tim design? I?
You know, I come from a Biggish family. I have three brothers, I have a lot of arnies and uncles, and I always have great memories of other weddings and it being like really beautiful family time.
And like I wanted to wear the big white dress. I wanted to have.
All the flowers. I wanted to feel like, you know, a queen on my wedding day. So I always knew I wanted the big wedding day.
Yeah, I'm a very That's that's my style. If you haven't known that.
In saying that, Like my best friend she's and I was also like quite young, and it was that was just my mentality. I thought I did like we did, we really wanted to do.
That means yeah.
But for example, my best friend, she she's actually not engaged, but she said when we get married, she's like, I just want a big party.
And she's just like, we'll probably hire at a house.
We'll just have our close friends and family. She doesn't have a lot of family, so she's like and she's like, we'll probably literally just you know, get married at the court and then come back to the house and.
Just have a big celebration. I love that. Yeah, So I think it's just and she's not a traditional sort of girl. Yeah. And how did you guys decide sort of what circle of friendship to stop inviting people at? If that makes sense, We.
Just invited our close friends and that was it. I don't have many friends, so it was quite easy.
I feel like I didn't have any friends many friends either, so look, there weren't a lot of people.
Man. All right, guys, we're going to do a poll of these wedding questions to see what you guys think. So it makes sure you come to our Instagram later on today. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed this saucy butt line episode. Thank you, Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer dot podcast and join our
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