G’s Hotline ☎️ Can cheaters change? ft Coopa

The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land which this episode is being recorded, the yugen Beah region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Terrestride Islander peoples today. Hello and

You've only been dogging women for three years.

Yes, anyway, let's just see what happens. Hello, and welcome back to the Rise and Conker Podcast. It is your host Georgie Stevenson and guys, you know Fridays are our fun EPs where you send in your life dilemmas and I provide my very unqualified two cents on this situation. So, guys, today's hotline is a little bit different because we have

It reminded me.

While we don't interview met, it reminded it reminded us of why men are trash. But no, we love Cooper. No, it was like it was cool to have a different perspective. And sure we had some really good questions, like, you know, do guys really need guy time? We did not agree on that. Ah, Cooper's opinion on like mask and fem energy, why some men take longer to propose, and just a whole bunch of fun cu so we got serious, we had a laugh. I think you guys will enjoy this.

Did, but still it's good to open your mind.

Yeah, it's good. It's good. But before we get into the episode, you guys know, we say this is the podcast for ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things, and every now and again we are going to shine a spotlight on someone doing an absolute extraordinary thing. So today I want to share a quick story about Ned Brockman. You may have heard about this person a tea. Have you heard of him?

I have. I'm obsessed.

So Jamie came in the other day and she was like guys Ned Brockman. He's a twenty three year old electrician who has just finished running from Perth to Bondai. Yes, you literally heard that right. That's across Australia. And I don't know if you know this, but Australia is huge. It's three nine hundred and fifty three kilometers huge. I just I can't fathom it, No, neib can I. I try to think about it, and then I'm just gobsmacked because I just don't understand how anyone could do that.

I try to run one hundred meters and I exhausted.

And this guy is like, he's not a runner, No, he literally just wanted to make a huge impact. He so he has this is incredible. So he's raised over one point eight million dollars for homelessness and it's just incredible. And I thought, if we're going to shine a light on anyone, it's this bloke because I feel for his feet one hundred percent.

I saw somewhere that apparently he pretty much has no cartilage left in his knees. So he was running one hundred kilometers a day and with bone on bone in his knees.

No, oh, he's incredible. So guys, use this as an expander. We're going to put the links in our socials because it's still open if you guys want to donate. Such an amazing cause and just such an amazing bloke, yeah, doing extraordinary things. So truly, we're going to bring you some more of these, you know, ordinary people doing extraordinary things segments. But what a great way to kick it off for Tia.

I know, all right, let's do our recommendations for the week. Georgie, what is yours?

Oh, I'll go first. Okay, so it's not a TV show, so don't worry, Jamie. So on our backs about it, Jamie sitting across the US, just like I rolling because we're so annoying. Recommendation. So something that I have done it recently. I think I might do a full podcast on it because I really want to chat about it.

I love that.

So it's kind of random, but.

Yeah, but yeah, would you space?

Should we do like a whole podcast on that idea and almost like how to plan out your whole year?

Oh? I like that.

Look out for that.

Guys.

What's your recommendation?

My recommendation is, if you weren't following Ned Brockman's journey, go to his Instagram and actually take the time to look through his reflection of each day he ran. So he spent forty six days running and he posted a carousel of images every day, and every day he put quote of the day, song of the day, and a little reflection and I know, yeah, oh love So I read them and they're actually really beautiful. And his last one was amazing, and I that was actually quite uplifting.

So I thought, was this last one, let's read it out, let's uplift the audience, let's uplift you all. They go into this absolute trash episode.

So his last caption was three nine hundred and fifty three kilometers, forty six days and twelve hours. I might reflect and do a post at some point outlining the last forty seven days, but now is the sign off of what has truly been a life changing experience. So Australia ran it one point eight two million dollars so far, raised it, body, cooked it, eleven kilos, lost it, Nation,

He's so Australian, he's so busy. I love so much.

And his reflections each day were just like just so short and sweet. But I loved the quotes that he picked. And sometimes it was a random quote that someone obviously said that day, but sometimes it was like a bit more deep.

This is so off key, but like, I absolutely love how some Australian men write. It's a good copy, is it, don't think? Yeah, I can to the point. Yeah, it's like really random cop.

On that note.

On that note, let's get into the episode.

Is it important to give your partner guy time with their mates.

Yes, I think it's very important for a guy to have some alone.

Time because tell us tell us why.

Well, for me in my situation that during the week is I have to go to work, I have to come home and give my time to my kids and my wife. But it depends, Like when I was plumbing It was very difficult because the stress. It depends on the stress you're under. And yeah, like it depends what you're doing in your life, if you're hustling or whatever. And would it.

Also depend on like the type of person you are, So if you're an introvert or an extrovert, and if you need that solo time with your friends to fill up your cup. Like I have a girlfriend who is quite extroverted, and like she needs girl time to like feel herself. Where's me, who's a total introvert. I just like need my alone, my own time.

Yeah, definitely, Like I've got mates that don't need to do that as much, and then they can. But then so it depends on what your life.

This is probably like in a relationship where the girl is like, why don't you want to spend time with me? You're always hanging around with your mates?

Yeah, what are you a problem? It's the girl because she's neat, But if she was there to be supportive, then it would counteract.

I have a random question off that when you first obviously you've predominantly been working, not ash. Yeah, like most of your relationship, did you ever have like this period where you wanted time with your guy friends, and you had to sort of navigate explaining that to her because you're away from her and your kids the whole day. And then it's sort of just a bit of like why don't you want to be with us at all? Kind of thing? How did you explain that? Because I feel like this might be.

Similar, well, like it was their stress. Like I keep coming back to, it's just depending on the stress levels that you're on and because that for a guy, is an escape and you need to so it's to zone out. So I always like, so all my sports that I do is to zone out right, not in like a yeah like ridway, but it's like you're just like you don't think of anything else, You're just thinking about that one thing. So it depends on So you need to navigate your stress levels and what you're doing and how

Just went off tangent there.

Does that make sense?

Yeah? Yeah?

So but then it yeah, for the female or the other partner, it's you need to give more support and if that's what they need, then that's what they should get. Because if you say no, why don't you want to spend time with me? And that makes the other person want to do it more like it's it's you need to take a different approach and you need to say, like why do you want to do that? How can I help? Or like is there something I can do in the relationship to ease the stress or something?

And then what about if they're just like, for example, I know in me and Tim's relationship, Tim isn't like a guy's guy. Like Tim loves his golf and he loves straight away no, but it's not like he's obsessed with his friends, like you know, like footy friends where they like it's like a footy boy thing and they all hang around each other and it's like that almost like that locker room sort of vibe.

I feel like I do he's not now he was back when you didn't have ivy or anythink he was that guy.

But I don't think he was. He was because he has told me he's like the opposite. Yeah, but also I never felt like to hear no, but I never felt like he spent too much time with his friends.

But is that because you were enjoy being by yourself when he was with his friends.

Yeah, maybe I'm I go go have fun.

I need some time alone, But he's not now because he has not much stress and he's content with his life and it's it's all good. He doesn't need that guy fix and that stress relief because he's got it all.

Do you think you need it anyway though, Like even if you're like super happy and relaxed all the time.

Well, he does do it. He goes to golf. Yeah, twice or three times a week. So everyone needs it, but it's not like this need and you have to do it. It's you're content with everything and there's balance.

Yeah, what is your opinion on masculine and feminine energy?

So when we're talking masculine enemy energy, we're not talking like female male, we're talking yin and yang. So yin is that like being stillness, like really sitting in the feeling and like letting things come to you. It's like flow, where's yang energy is like doing its structure. It's like I would say I'm a very masculine energy person. Ashley is very yin energy. It's like that sort of vibe.

Do you make an effort to get into your feminine energy?

Ah, I think it probably comes in natural.

Yeah. I would say Cooper is.

More for hardcore.

Yin than Yang.

What.

Yeah. Really well, like I feel like you're a natural, Like Keep is like a very natural manifesto, Like once he's in the zone and he can flow and things. It's just like how we have the joke here how he just like like waltz is in and waltzes out and like does random things and has all these like random hobbies and like me and Aterior like sitting here fucking distress, he was like, bab bitches, and we have

Like all your hobbies, like you try mountain biking and kite surfing and all that sort of stuff is like your yin energy, which I could never I'd get over trying too many.

Yeah, I feel like you find it quite easy to like surrender and be, but then you also know how to get into your masculine energy when a project needs to be done.

Thank you for answering that question. Yeah, I guess I've never really thought about it.

Good tonight approach question.

For would like to think of myself for both.

But yeah, I was going to say, do you think you need both energies?

Definitely? Like I like that state, but I also like to get in there and hustle and when I want something, I go for it, like it is. I am the driver a fair bit in the company when we first started. Yeah, so I've got that as well. But I think that's because I'm I would consider myself as a kind person, So I like to always be kind in certain things. And how do you like, so that's my feminine energy, isn't it?

I guess so not?

How do you like step out of that? Doing stuff all the time though?

Step out of it?

Yeah? Like if you have if you have a goal, how do you still prioritize like going for golf or like doing the other things that fill up your cup outside of.

See I what's the goal I had? He doesn't have that problem. You just do it.

I just do it.

Yeah, he's not. Like it's very different.

Energy the way I like to look at it is, which I've got helped help with this is I have I think about seven metaphorically buckets in my life, and I prioritize what I have in my life and then so it's like kids, wife, business, adventures, holidays and those sorts of things. So I like to when I don't feel in flow, I like to have a look at my buckets and see what's empty, and then I like to work on them.

Give them love. That that's really cool. I need to work out my bucket we need? Do you have to have seven? How many buckets do you have something?

However? You have in your life?

So you just have to decided, Hey, but if I have to, should I have more buckets?

Not Tim?

I should we give Tim a bucket. That's so interesting. So when things aren't feeling in flow, you kind of look at your buckets of like, yeah, I've been putting my energy, and then you put energy in a different bucket.

So it's maybe like you haven't gone on a holiday in a while, or you haven't done something adventurous, and then you schedule that in.

And then you prioritize until that bucket is nurtured, and then then you're in flow again, and then you keep going and it's all about balance, and that's what I've been working at the moment.

And how did you figure out whether something was worth being a bucket or not?

Well, that's just when you're filling it out your buckets. You work all that out and what's important?

Yeah, what's a priority?

I guess Yeah, get a pen and paper and go to town. Get a good list. I love a good list.

I love that.

Next question, why is it that my husband always gets the shits when I don't feel like having sex? She did add She's like, it's not like abusive or anything. It's just like he has a bit of a hissy fit and doesn't tell her like, oh, it's so fine that you don't feel like it.

Well, this would be on the mail if anything, is not the female so because I was there when I was with my wife at the start. But it depends on where you are in your life, and if you're younger or first starting out in a relationship, your testosterone is very high. So I've slowly gotten to the lower. So what happens is when you when you get married or each step, like if you get engaged and then you get married, and then your test oserone goes lower and lower.

Like this is actually biologically Yeah, I looked up.

And then you have kids and it gets even more and then you get to this point where you're both good and yet your level it levels out with the female and the male and yeah, you're like in a good, good spot.

I would say, like, maybe these people like aren't on the same page, don't you recond?

Yeah, so they probably need to communicate a bit more.

But a bit like for example, there's like a lot of factors of maybe the husband feels like insecure of like why don't you want to have sex with me? Do not find me attractive or you know something like that, or is it a fact of like she consistently turns him down and he's like well, or he's like I want that connection with you, and that's how he creates that connection, you know, Like I feel like she.

Could probably do a bit of work into trying to find herself to be more sexually active for have that.

Same connection or connect on the same way.

When you're both in flow together, yeah, that's when it's like the sparks go really good and the relationship works so well because if there's friction in that area, like that's a key to a good relationship, so she might need to do a bit of work on it and find out.

Well, I think they both for sure, and it like for.

Him as well, he probably needs.

The because also if like he should be maybe asking like why doesn't she want to? Because maybe for her it's like is there any Because I heard this really good quote the other day on a podcast I'm trying to remember. I think it was the Yay podcast where Fine your Yay Wow the Yay podcast. We all know what I'm talking about, and she was saying, like men

That that's I've yeah, I've done that too. So what it is is communication. You need to sit down together and tell each other what you want. Because I remember I didn't get to do that with Ash, but I remember I started to do the washing and she was.

Like the fuck yeah, she loved it.

Yeah, I just well I needed it done and I was sick a harassing her. And as soon as I was like but I worked out that it was my problem. So but that's another thing. So yeah, like communication, like sit down and have a talk what you do, like and go with what you just said George of like this is how I feel connected and if you can do that then we might get to that point or like and he'll do it. He'll work as hard as you can.

I could make it happen and wants it's even like on the podcast, I remember her saying, like, for example, when guys are stressed, they usually like they want to have sex to release stress, whereas when women are stressed, it's we don't want to have sexis like, yah, the last thing on my mind right now, I'm you know, stressed, whereas like you know, there's certain things. So we're literally different. Biology is very different. So maybe it's about understanding where

It's copy.

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Do you think men who cheat will always cheat? Can they genuinely change?

I reckon, yes, they can change.

Do you think that comes with age or.

Or just like a development Wise, I think it would be wrong to say, like you can't change, Like if you think about the Rise and Coner podcast, we're about evolution, we're about change. You can completely change who you are and how you show up in the world. So I think it would be very limiting to put that just because we're talking about cheating obviously.

Is a really bad thing, but it like if it was a once off thing or something like comes down the communication again or something went wrong or like, but if they did it like multiple times, then yeah, he's going to do it again because.

For me once, what sort of thing. Yeah, shame on.

Shame on you for me twice, shame on me.

Yeah. Yeah, So but if you do it once or it just happens or something, yeah, you can definitely change. But he's going to happen, but he's probably yeah, at a low point or something's gone wrong in that relationship and there's like it takes two to tango.

So my view one cheating too is if you are going to I guess make it work and try to come back from it, I think you almost need to clean slate it and go all right, we're starting basically again from this time and clean slate it and not go back to that issue.

Yeah, Like you can't be in a fight and be like, well you cheated on me.

Yeah. Yeah, And but it's up to you for a sample, if you feel like you can go there and almost like forgive them computer Yeah, because me personally, I'm like, I don't. I think I would always bring I'd always bring it up. Yeah, So it depends, like if you want to move forward and they you feel like they are going to change and you believe them, you almost need to come to the table. Well from this point, you know, we're moving forward with a clean slight but.

It's hard, like we obviously haven't been in that situation. So to give advice to something like that, like, it's really hard, but like overall you can.

But I would like to believe people change like that.

Trust it would be that would be like the hardest thing to get over, harder. I don't know if I could do it. Trust thing.

Okay, next question, what do you do if friends and family ask for a free product or discount on your business? It's not relationships, but I thought it was interesting.

It depends who they are, depends if I like them pretty much.

No, So I have an opinion on this, and then you can go cooper. So I have an opinion that, for example, I feel like we are very generous with our family and friends. But I also have opinion of a true always been like that generous?

Yeah, Like would you give free product when you first started? Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, I but I am I'm of the view that your friends should never expect and they should always want to support you, especially when you're starting out, especially when you're a small business. Well I think at any time really, and they should never I don't know because for example, if someone came to me a friend and was like, oh I want this, this, this for free. I would almost turn around and like.

They wouldn't be your friend.

Yeah, I'd be like no, just for the point of like a true friend wouldn't do that. Yeah, Like they would not expect that. And I think that's like a really gross assumption to have because it's like they should want to support you on your endeavors, and I feel like that should need to be like shown.

Yeah.

Would it be different if they like ask for a discount code, Like if they were like, hey, I really want to order a few things. Did you have a small little friends and family discount code? If not, totally fine, how would you take something like that?

Oh, I think that's so fine. I would like love for people to you know.

After that, that's still support.

Yeah, that's so supportive because they're like, I want to help you out, but also give me a dissy, Yeah, a welcome dizzy, which is I think. Yeah, I think that's so fine, and that's even like a like normal thing to do.

I guess next question, why do some men take longer to propose than others.

They probably need more time to think about the next step.

And Cooper can't relate.

Yeah, I was pretty soon. Well, I when I got to marry me, I thought we'd have a long engagement and we didn't, so I wanted more time. But I didn't really mind that much. But I couldn't really mind. But yeah, well, they're probably not sure on something.

So talk to them about it.

Communication again.

I think also like for most guys, it's not I feel like our family's different, Cooper, because all like all the brothers have proposed at very young ages, very quite soon, whereas I know a lot of people where it can take ten years. And I think it's like the priority. Like I feel like a lot of men that like, you know, they're not it's not like they dream about their winning and they're thinking of the colors and you know,

Well, I think there's a lot of it's definitely one, Like there's a lot of things where they're not ready, Like that's probably a big one. They're not ready to take that commitment and go to that next step and because they know after that it might be kids, or they might want to still party or like doing stuff or yeah, like there's a lot of factors.

So next question, when you're in a relationship and have a fight, do you overthink similar to women? Like do I like, do men overthink like women.

Overthinkh Probably not. I would say men don't overthink. They would just leave it, But it depends.

That's putting like men and women in such a box though, it is because you'd have some guys who completely overthink, overthink and some women who's like.

Overthink a bit more and ask doesn't but then our other brother, he wouldn't give a ship and then yeah, the.

Wife depends on the person.

You do you overthink? You wouldn't, So it depends on the person.

Yea.

Yeah. The main thing is to probably have a breather and step away from that situation and however long that is hopefully not too long, and then come back and communicate when you're not angry. If you got anger, you just let loose whoever is the more angry person. Envy like we want to fight, like we want to talk this a fight, nothing comes good of.

It because I feel like often guys will be like, I'm angry, I need to walk away, and girls are like, no, let's fix it now before you walk away. It needs to be fixed.

Yeah, I just want to keep talking about it.

Yeah, but you found that it's easier for people to like take a breather.

And then come back after Yeah, it doesn't matter who's who's angry one, but yeah, just have a breather, step away, go for a walk, and come back and then communicate and figure it out.

More of a longer question one was posted in our Facebook group. I've been with my partner for about two years now, and I truly love him and we are so obsessed with each other. He recently quit his job a couple of months ago to start a business, but at the moment, I feel like it's less starting a business and more just hanging around at home. He doesn't ever get up before midday and seems to mainly just watch TV shows. Do you have any advice for me?

Crap? I wonder if he stays up as.

Much to say, getting up at midday, Jesus.

How would you approach that as someone who started a business, Like, what was it like when you guys started n h was working.

Like four or something because I couldn't sleep about anything. I think everything.

I think he's taking the piers.

Definitely, don't you reckon? Yeah, you need to pull him in and say what the hell are you doing? Like communicate?

Well, he also couperzends everything.

Communicate its key.

I'd also loved to know like is he did he quit his job, but now you're providing for him and then he's just mucking around or you know, like what's happening here? Why should she be worried?

Or is he well he said he's quit his job.

Yeah, but he might financially have iby fed. Yeah, and then like maybe he just needs some like breather time or what not.

Yeah. So like if if she's providing, then it's a point of concern. But if he's still like paying his half and lumbing around, she doesn't. She shouldn't stress.

Well, it depends what you want to be with You you want to be with someone like that, and that's doesn't matter about financial if you want to it's who you hang out with. Like, if you're hanging out with someone like that, it's going to rub on you. And if you if you're not going in that direction, you need to buy it in the barm and have a talk with him and say I don't like the way you're doing this, or and say this isn't where I want to progress.

To and just say, well, check in with him, being like what's happening here? Yeah, like why are you sleeping until midday?

And like a sla his mental health?

What's he doing at night?

Yeah? Normal? But if he's working at night, then that's it. But if he's not, something like yeah, you need to communicate a bit more and suss it out. Yeah, And if that's what you want or don't want, then go for it.

Lucky. Last question, my boyfriend and I have been together for over two and a half years. We love each other to death, but notice that we're both really burnt out in general. We're currently looking to move in together towards the end of the year and I don't want to feel like this when we move into our new environment together. What's your best advice on not feeling burnt out?

Probably need to assess what's going on in your life to try and substitute where you're getting burnt out. Like if it's your work, then maybe not work as much or I don't know if you're doing too many sports in the afternoon or somewhere where you can eliminate a bit of the stress or something.

I feel like when you're burnt out, you're not in alignment, like something in life is you're doing something you don't like or yeah, you're almost like not happy in a way. Yeah, and it's like something needs to shift, whether it's your routine, your work, your hobbies to get into a new energy. But in saying that, I think even moving in together would be a huge shift that may help if it's not something that you know.

That's exactly what I thought too, because like maybe the bonout is coming from trying to manage too much moving around. Because I know one of my friends and her partner jump between her house and his house because they're saving up to get their own, So that would be the cause of their boneout. Yeah, so have a look at what it's actually causing it, because moving in together might solve the burnout.

And also if they're currently living in separate households, like maybe with parents, maybe with roommates, I think having your own environment where it's just you two is so refreshing and so nice. Like I think your living environment. Environment is so huge to how you show up in life. Like I've even noticed with our move just how I'm in a new environment and just how different I kind of amah, And that's like shifted a lot of like

I remember when I moved out with Ash for the first time. We were nineteen and it was the best one year of my life. It can only last maybe last year and a half, and then we moved back to the parents to save up, but it was the best thing that we ever did. The freedom that you get from it, it opens up, Yeah, so many doors. You mature U so much.

You have to grow up so much.

Hey, it's awesome.

I moved out when I was nineteen two, and I remember it was the best. I was like, holy fuck.

So good. So yeah, when something scary, it's usually really exciting to turn out really good.

That's where they're and that could be where the burnout is. Like it's just like you're in the same routine, You're in the same energy. You need a change you need. Saying fresh to change the environment really exciting.

Do it.

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