The Rising Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land which this episode is being recorded, the yugen Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and terrestrid Islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts.
This is the podcast for ordinary.
People who want to do extraordinary things.
Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
This is the first episode of Georgie's Hotline. These are our fun Friday epps where you in your life dilemmas and I provide my unqualified two cents to the situation. We have got three juicy questions today. All right, guys, So today's question. We are chatting about an overbearing mother in law, if a break is the right decision in a relationship, and how you can constantly want more but still be grateful for what you have and what that looks like. These questions are juicy and I cannot wait
to get into it. But first I'm going to give you a little Georgie's recommendation of the week. So I have just started reading the book by James Clear, Atomic Habits. I feel like I've seen this book everywhere on TikTok and like life, so I'm super slow to this trend, but it is great. So it's all about just like utilizing your time habits routine. You know, I'm a routine gal, I'm a routine mum, so of course I'm.
Going to like this book.
And I love that he puts a lot of like science and experiments and just like some really interesting sort of stories to go with it. So that's definitely my book recommendation to you guys. Also, I haven't finished it yet, but I'm just started the new season of Selling Sunset. Big fan of Selling Sunset, just because it's like, I don't know, it's a really good like trash TV, Like it's brain it is brain numbing, but it's just a
bit of fun. And I just I love property and I love single the gorgeous houses and the drama's a bit crazy honestly, but yeah, that's what that's my two little recommendations for the week. I'm actually yet to finish Selling Sunset because Ivy has not been She just has not been gone to bed. She's just decided she wants to stay up and party with mom and dad most nights.
So I'll probably get only about twenty minutes in. Ever, so I'm yet to finish the sea or like even an episode, but hopefully I can actually finish it and tell you if it was worth it. But so far, so good and honestly trash TV like it doesn't really matter, does it. And also, I just want to say a big thank you for so much love, support and excitement on our first official episode back. It's really great to be back in your ears. I'm so happy you guys,
love the new branding. And I do apologize once again for the urps. You can blame a Tear.
For that because she made me do the sprite challenge.
I feel like that's just like we're gonna have to have a little snippet of my burps and all episodes now because it's like a thing.
All right, guys, let's get into the episode.
All right, guys, let's get into the first question. So I'm going to get a tear to re out the DM.
What have we got a tear?
This one's quite a good one. It is a live question I need help with, how the hell do I respectfully said boundaries with my mother in law when it comes to my five month old baby. I had a great relationship with my mother in law, but since having my baby, she's gone a bit nuts, including accidentally calling herself mummy to him. This has happened on multiple occasions.
I have a supportive partner who is willing to express our boundaries, but I'm scared of how she will feel help a sleep deprived mama out.
I the like, the part of the DM that just gets me is accidentally calling herself mummy to him, Like that's just so I don't know, like it would be funny if it was you know, once, but she's like on multiple occasions. Okay, wow, right, let's get into it. So this is obviously super relevant to me because I've
literally got a five month old two. I do have a couple of questions though, because, like what I want to know at the end, she goes help a sleep deprived mama out, So obviously baby is not sleeping, you know, she's doing all the things, and so I want to be like, is the mother in law really helping her out? Or is it just you know, she pops over every now and again, because the first thing I'm thinking is like, you don't want to piss off the mother in law if it's a lot of help.
Does that make sense? Yes, But I don't know. I think it's a hard one.
I'm going I'm going between two things here because I love that she said my partner is very supportive. So I'm almost like he maybe needs to speak to her because it's, you know, his mom. And I've got so like a similar story where well it's not similar, but.
I kind of can understand it.
So before Ivy was born, I actually have a mom who she's the best mom. She is like the ultimate maternal mother and she's like we call it like the baby Whisperer. And so I have three older brothers, four kids, and you know, she was a stay at home mom our whole life. And she cooked and clean, she did my dad's business like she was just like she could do it all. So maternal, so loving and just like so sweet and loves babies. And so when I obviously got pregnant, she just was like, oh my god, best
day of my life. So my older brothers all have you know, babies, but it's obviously just being a little bit different. I'm her baby, her baby's having a baby, and she was.
Just so excited.
And I remember kind of having this conversation with mom and just saying, I know you're the baby whisper. I know you've had four kids and you would know so many things, and you know you're so good at kids. But also remember this is my first baby, and I've got to make my own mistakes and I've got to kind of learn, and I've got to be able to be the mom because I think sometimes moms they mother so they can just be a bit overbearing. And I
kind of had you know, maybe that would happen. So I actually had that conversation before Ivy was born, and then like since Ivy has been born, my mom like was amazing, Like I never felt like she was overbearing or anything like that, but I kind of like set that boundary at the start, and I think the words I kind of said to her is like I want you to be there and I want you to be supportive and that sort of thing.
But it's only if I ask.
I don't want you to kind of come in and be like do things this way, and you need to try this and.
Blah blah blah.
If I'm wanting help and asking for help, definitely like, you know, come in, but otherwise kind of let me figure it out. And yeah, we haven't had any issues, you know since Ivy is born. If anything, I'm like, come look after Ivy more so my kind of thinking. But in saying that, that's my mom, So I feel like you might have like a bit of a different relationship.
But she has said here that she does have a great relationship with her.
So I'm in between two minds of do you kind of let your partner take the reins and go, look mom, you know, let's just call her.
What do we want to call it? Right here? The listener yan Liann. Let's call it Lienne.
You know.
Does the partner go, look, mom, you know, Lianne is a great mom.
Thank you so much for the help. It's amazing. We love you here.
But just like, you know, take a little bit of a step back and just make sure you're being respectful of her and kind of do it that way or is it going to be more beneficial and kind of just because also, will the mother in law just be like, oh like not really understand and kind of take it seriously, because the other option is just going direct to her, and I think honesty is the best policy, you know, and just saying, look, I know you're a great mother,
I know you love this baby, but I'm just feeling like you're a bit overbearing and you're just you know, a little bit too much. And I love and respect you, but if you could just you know, ease back a.
Little bit, that would be amazing. What do you think a tear.
Even like potentially bringing in the fact that you're raising a baby in a very different world to what she raised babies in and that things need to be done different now, Like your kid isn't gonna have the same issues or face the same challenges that hers did. There's a whole like even just blame it on technology. Your kid's gonna have to deal with a different kind of bullying and.
We're in a different era.
Mom.
Yeah, God, so even just bringing that in, blaming it on that, but also yeah, I can kind of understand.
And it's like it's obviously going to be so helpful to have her around, but it would almost make the experience a bit unenjoyable sometimes where you're sitting there going, oh my god, doing the wrong thing for my child, right, yeah, and.
She's like just a bit crazy, like just a bit full on.
I just can't imagine someone calling yourself mummy.
Oh my god, guys, I actually have a funny story.
So it's funny that we got this dam because I remember listening to I honestly can't remember. It was years ago, but it was like a radio segment of overbearing mother in laws and someone called in its laughing. I told her this before someone called in and was like I literally caught my mother in law try to breast feed my face.
Oh my gosh.
I don't imagine that, I know too much, Like what would you actually say?
Like I wouldn't. I wouldn't know what to say. Do you even like make a joke out of it? I would, I'd have to think anymore. Yes, yes, oh my god. Yeah.
So I think in conclusion, I think honesty is the best policy and you just need to be honest with her and just go look, I'm finding a little bit uncomfortable, like howful on your being. Please stop calling yourself mummy to my child. And I think you just need to set those boundaries. And I honestly think she would be like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Like I didn't mean to.
You know, if you do it in a nice, respectful way, I yeah, I think I think it will be fine.
And even if it's uncomfortable, which it might be, it will settle. And you'd rather have it uncomfortable for a little bit than be sitting like this for the next year in a bit.
Yeah, because also you might then start building up like resentment, and you know, you don't want to build that toxic relationship, Whereas if you just spoke to her now, she might even be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
I didn't even realize. Next question, Okay, dilemma. My partner and I have been together for close to two years, living together in a small apartment. It seems as though we have lost our way together and separately. I lost a love for myself and relied heavily on getting the love I needed from him, not prioritizing filling up my own cup. We have had a very mature open talk and have made the decision to take some space from
one another. Not broken up, but he's moving out for us to both live on our own and take a step back and find ourselves again. How would you suggest navigating this time, and do you believe we were on a break? If you know, you know is good for a relationship in order to find our way back to one another. I deeply trust in the universe but can't help but still feel fear of completely losing him. Oh, I'm not gonna lie, guys. I had to have a tier explain that we're on the break.
Yeah, she's not watched Friends in order.
I yeah, like I've watched like various episodes, but I yeah, like not consistently. And I think I've seen a couple of means about it and like kind of got the concept, but a tear had to fully explain it to me. So now I'm up with the friend's reference. Oh okay, this is a good one. It's I feel like a little bit like I'm obviously unqualified to answer all these questions disclaimer, but I feel a little bit unqualified because
I haven't been in this scenario. And again, I'm kind of in between two minds because the first thing that I think is and this maybe like too much of a black and white answer, but I just think relationships obviously are hard and they're a struggle. But if you get to the point you know where.
You want to move out and not live with that person?
Is it the REALI is it the right relationship anymore?
Do you kind of agree or do you think that's too like rough?
Yeah? I think it's it's weird because I noticed that you said you've been together for two years, and it's been a wild two years.
Yeah, COVID.
Yeah, getting stuck inside with people, even if if it's for six weeks, if it's for the whole two years, depending on where you are, it is pretty difficult. And even then, I feel like a lot of people have had just an accelerated period of growth because of COVID
and everything that's happened around it. So it could be potentially that he might have been your soulmate all for a friend reference your love stuff at the beginning of the two years, but now you've just grown in two different directions but still share that love for each other.
Yeah, that's so interesting. And first of all, I just want to say, I love that they've come to this mature situation where they realized that they need to work on each other and moving out is the best option. Ye. I love that she's obviously a big believer, you know, in the universe and so on top of that too. It's kind of like, I'm a big believer in if you guys are meant to be together, you will, but
I don't know in this circumstance. I'm kind of feeling like, if you do really need to like not be together and work on yourself, can you do that still together but just not living together.
Or do you need a clean break and.
Then you know, catch up in a year six months and see if you guys can get back together. I just think it's a little bit fuzzy if you're still together but you've moved out, but you need to work on yourself, do you know.
I mean, it's sort of like you're trying to grow, but you're still tied down to something yes and love that, and you can't, Like you're if you're tied down, you're not going to be able to go as high or grow in the right direction.
Because something she says is like, I'm not prioritizing filling up my own cut, but it's like, can you do that if you're still tied to this person, which you obviously wouldn't be able to because it will always limit your decisions because it'll be in the back of your mind, like you'll say, Oh, this really great job came up, but oh it's in a different city, should I take it? But maybe that that is where you're supposed to go,
and that's where the universe is pushing you. But because you've still got him in the back of your mind, you will be stuck. You'll say, I can't take that because we're going to catch up in a year and get back together, and you can't grow. And I think
it's also there's two sort of situations here. It's either you guys move out and you basically realize that you don't need to be with him, and maybe the love was definite, like a tear you said, like it was there at the start, but maybe it's a scenario of you kind of have grown apart, but you just felt so comfortable and it was almost like a complacent sort
of scenario. So either that is going to happen, or you're going to move out and you're going to be like, no, he's my person, like he's the one, But then also he needs to feel that way exactly.
And the other thing that she said where she said that she couldn't fill up her cup herself and she needed that validation from someone else. It sounds a bit codependent. Again,
not qualified to say that. I just feel like it's so important to be able to look after yourself and be able to know the things that you like that will fill your cup and find those things separate to someone else because if you always which you've obviously realized that you can't rely on him for that because that's not fair to him, but it's also not fair to you. So find those things. The fastest way to do that is to have a clean break.
I agree, I'm kind of with you on this one. To tear.
I think it needs to be a clean break. Like I think, if you've decided to move out and you need to work on these things, I think you have to actually give it a good go solo, work on making sure you know you can give love to yourself, prioritizing filling up your own cup, and.
Really give it a good go. So if you do.
Decide to get back together, you can give it a good shot exactly, and you can both be the best versions of yourself, because that's what I would bet each of you deserve.
And even I guess we still need to answer her question how does she navigate this time? I would probably say, set clear boundaries on what both of you are expecting from this, because the last thing you want is one of you thinking that you're still somewhat together and the other one not, and then then you have some friends.
Like yeah, scenario.
And also I don't know, this also might be black and white again, like obviously my relationship is so different because I've had I've been in a long term relationship for like ten years.
But I don't know.
I just think like relationships are hard in a struggle, but also not that hard, do you know what I mean? Like as hard as things get with me and Tim, like, oh my god, with a new baby, it's like fucking can be World War three sometimes, but like I would not even dream of leaving him, do you. I mean, like that's not even a scenario in my head.
So there's also a part of me but in saying that they've only been together two years?
Yeah, and what have you done with Tim to make sure that you guys still are your own people?
So we I love, Like, I just have a really strong friend group and I prioritize my friends. So it's I feel like a lot of people sometimes you know, instead of saying yes to what their friends are doing, they kind of check with their partner first, then go back and forward. But I'm very much like if a friend wants to hang out and you know, we plan something, it's always going to happen.
I'm not going to bail.
So always prioritizing friendships. And then also for me, like my work is obviously my life. So a huge part of that too is like you know, like my world isn't just him, if that makes sense.
Yeah, exactly, And I think potentially I lock time alone what I would do about and just.
Visit him and Ivy.
Honestly, I've heard about relationships with people where they like live in different houses just on the same street what and they're like married, and they just they like their own space and that's what makes them happiest.
So it might I get like my own room or something.
Literally, I'm going to die if he heard this right, he doesn't listen to what us Okay, So in conclusion, a tiar, what do you kind of reckon?
You say yours and I'll say my advice.
I reckon if you've already had the chat and you've decided that he's moving out to have a clean break, or if you're not comfortable with a clean break, having
clear boundaries on what your break is. Also deciding how much you want to have to do with each other prior to him moving out, so you don't want him trying to catch up or you trying to catch up if the other one wasn't expecting that, And also just keeping an honest dialogue while you're on your break, if you're staying sort of tethered to each other, but it is probably best to have a clean break and then see how you are down alone.
And I kind of truly believe in the like, you can't lose someone if they're your person, if that makes sense, and if he does fade away or whatnot, then it's like it wasn't meant to be. And that's amazing that you figured it out and you didn't kind of I don't want to say waste any more time, but yeah,
you figured it out at this moment. And then also I just really want to touch on this, but I think also if you are going to have a clean break and you're obviously living separately, I don't know, this might be a weird way of thinking, but I think you know if he does go off and sleep with other people, if we're talking friends reference, I think that can't have an effect if you get back with each other.
No down the line, don't you reckon. I don't think it would either.
Like sometimes you don't know what you happen until you've lost it kind of thing, like.
And you've just got to accept that you guys, you know, decide it will happen.
Yes, and that's a decase you're making. But that doesn't mean that that he's the wrong person or the right person if that sort of stuff happens.
Yeah.
Agree, And I think we can just be like mature about it. Yeah, all right, that was a goody.
Yeah, that was last question. I'm constantly torn between wanting more and being satisfied with what I have. For example, wanting bigger and better things for my life, more success, more happiness, more money. First, being satisfied with what I have, content with what I have achieved, and living in the present moment. I feel like if I'm making big goals, I'm telling myself that what I currently have isn't enough, and I am too focused on the future rather than appreciating the present moment.
Ooh, is this a great question.
Okay, The first thing that actually just came to me when you're saying that a Tia was so what I truly believe in first of all, is you can like have both and you can be doing both things simultaneous.
Is that the right word simultaneously? Oh my god?
I feel like the Grant Phillies on this lit.
I know cele don't, but do you kind of agree in regards to a huge like thing of my practice. I feel like I'm the queen at being grateful for what I have while continuously working on the next thing and.
Loving to dream big.
I think the biggest thing I find, especially in women, is we are so scared on dreaming big. We shouldn't like, we should just be grateful with what we have now, and we shouldn't want to dream and we shouldn't want to want.
You know, something better for yourself?
Yes, and a fancy car and a fancy house, and that's greedy, and I feel like we like I feel like that's such a like theme in a lot of like women's lives, where they don't want to dream big because we should just be content.
But I'm like, you should be lucky, you should just be with what you have.
No, Oh my god, that's such something like my parents would say to me. So I'm such a big believer in you can dream big and you can want success and you can go after it while also being grateful and content with what you have now. And what I was actually going to say what came to mind is seasons. So like, I think you need to decide what season are you currently in.
Are you in a season where you.
Are working, you know, over time, and you've got these huge goals and you're going and going going, Or are you in a season where, yes, you've got some big goals, but it's also a season of chill and I can still have these big goals, but I've just maybe gone through like a pretty hectic fallen season and it's like a chill season, do you I mean.
Yeah, for sure. And I feel like that is the only way you can live your life. Like, if you're living your life consistently, just like, it's great to be grateful for what you have, but if that's all you're doing, you're not going to move forward and you're limiting yourself. Yeah, but if all you're doing is focusing on what you don't have, you're just limiting yourself in a different way because you're unable to feel happiness ever just want something else all the time.
It's like, yeah, you almost need to have a taste of both, yeah, or at different seasons. Yeah, but you don't always want to just sit there and be like, well, I'm so grateful for what I'm having and I should just be content, so I shouldn't go after these other things.
Yeah.
And also you shouldn't always be like I want more, I want more, I want more.
Yeah, because either of those ways, you'll never be happy with what you have. And just taking I guess a few moments every day to just practice gratitude is such a big thing, and it can go from being grateful for the job you have or the car or house you have to just a simple thing is when I turn the lights, which the lights come on? Or when I when the tap water comes out, Like I'm not living somewhere where that's a question for me, I know
that that happens. Yeah, And just practicing gratitude and starting with small things and working up to the bigger things you're grateful for while still like make a vision board if you're in your chill season, maybe have a mood board with how you want to feel and not smart goals or guy.
Tia has this really great thing she has chatted to me about where she goes. Vision boards are like sometimes they're just like too much for her, and it's like, yeah, it's like too polarizing almost, And so what she'll do is she'll create a mood board where it's not so much about like physical goals or like these great big goals.
But it's like just the vibe.
Yeah, it's just the vibe, the vie and it just kind of you know, makes her feel good and like motivates her.
But it's like nothing crazy.
Yeah, And like I feel like a lot of people feel or might think they need a dream job and an end goal and when they get there, they're done. But what happens if you get there in the next two years? What are you going to do after that?
You can't get the next bit?
Yeah, you can't set your whole life based on wanting specific things all the time, and don't make that your whole identity. Yeah, just have a feeling that you think about how you want to feel rather than what you want to have, and then make that mood board.
Well that's even like when I got pregnant, because it was like, honestly the first time in my life that I was like, I want to do the opposite of achieving things and I want to just do less. And even though that you actually did so much more.
Because I like, I'm gonna have no time, I know, I like, well, I.
Had to prep for maternity leave that I honestly didn't even take, and then like so many opportunities come up because I was pregnant, like with the pedal and PUK collab and stuff like that, so.
It was actually so busy.
But anyway, what I'm trying to say is like it was a season where I was just like, I am so happy and content and I just do not care about like achieving goals. I just am so here to just enjoy, to just enjoy it. But then there's you know, previous seasons where I'm like, I want you know, yeah, I want to be a thirty under thirty you know, don't know? All, yes, that's actually on my vision board, is it?
Yeah? Oh my god, I'm putting it on mine.
Oh guys, I actually need to create a new vision board now that I'm a mom, and I just like I feel like I'm a different person, and yeah, that's something we should do in the office. Sit here too for the potty, like a vision board for the potty. Yeah, guys, should we do like a vision board episode? Should we do like a vision board live call?
Oh?
Like with the listeners? Yeah, this is funny.
Okay, I'm getting away off topic, Jimmy, Sorry, no, leave it in, Jamie.
Let us know, jump on our DMS.
So I think, like, in conclusion, this person, I know, I get the feeling that she is constantly wanting more. Yeah, and I would just say, that's great, You're doing amazing.
Don't feel guilty. Don't feel guilty.
Maybe you just need to practice gratitude a little bit more.
And also, I don't know.
My thing right now is I feel like a lot of people younger than me. What's like the generation before me? A tear before you or after after?
Gen Z? What am I gen y millennial?
I'm a millennial? Yeah, I think, so what are you? I'm gen Z?
Okay, gen Z, I this is going to be like joen Z, but I reckon jen Z. Like a huge thing that I'm all about is delayed gratification, yes, which we are not. I love delayed gratification, like I am so happy to work on something for years before actually getting the feeling, and I feel like that's something that maybe this person needs to relish in, like the becoming, Like I love relishing in the becoming and like the doing, and that's the ship that honestly lights me up.
Not the end goal. I mean that would be And that's why I'm.
A sicko who has all these goals all the time, because it's not so much about the goal ground, it's.
The work to the goals.
I actually think that would be an interesting thing to dive into because gratification gen Z has been put on the list conditioned to no like not now I'm like ready to time. Gen Z's been conditioned to need instant gratification like social media Instagram and now TikTok is just it's it's taking that gratification length and just shortening it consistently.
And I don't know how much shorter it can get, but just learning and don't feel pressured to practice gratitude the way you think you should be doing it.
It can be as.
Simple as just dancing around the house and being like I love my.
Life, being in the present, just endure a diary.
I love my life. Here are the five I'm grateful for. No, have you seen that TikTok?
No?
Oh my god, I'm going to have to play it right now. I love my diary, I love my life. I can't say I see this single TikTok with that sound. Oh my god.
So what they do is they do dear diary, I love my life. And then there's a whole bunch of snippets of like cool things they're doing.
That's a way to make one of them a week.
It's like you look back at your week, you're like, yeah, not not really a vibe, but anyway, we got on a tangent. But yeah, yeah, I think you can do both. And I think also this person has a lot of guilt around wanting more, and I say, fuck that, No, you can want more and it's okay.
But also, relish in the becunning becunning.
Oh wow, relish in the becoming, because that's where the good shit is, all right, Atya, thanks so much for joining me in this Georgie's Hotline episode. I appreciated your little tidbits of advice.
Thanks for having me.
It's good to like actually chat to someone to know that what I'm thinking.
Yeah, just not like a monologue talking to the wall. Beg guys.
I hope you enjoyed our fun little new segment Georgie's Hotline. If you, guys do have a life question or a dilemma, please jump into our DMS. The podcast instagram is Rise and Conquer Dot Podcast.
Don't jump into my.
Personal DMS because honestly it's a shit show and I want to be able to answer your question. Jump into the podcast DMS and you might be featured on Georgie's Hotline.
Until next time.
I will chat to you guys in our Tuesday episode. It is another juicy solo podcasts Knowledge is Power episode.
Chat to you then.
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