Dealing with triggers: jealousy & envy 😲🐍

and so much more. Basically, wherever you are on your journey, I want to help you feel inspired and empowered to rise up and conquer your next bold move. I know that's going to look different for everyone, but just no, I'm right here by your side and that you have the RNC community behind you.

you know someone needs it. And I think for me, triggers has been such a journey of the biggest thing we can do is be aware why something upsets us, because that is the first step, and then from there we can kind of dig deep and see why this triggers us, why this upsets us, write a new story and really go into it. So I did put a little question thing on my story asking what you guys

wanted me to talk about. So many answers, and a lot of them were very kind of deep rooted in trauma, and I just don't feel comfortable talking about those sorts of things, Like first of all, I'm not a professional. This is you know, a self help podcast. But you know, I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a counselor.

like jealousy and envy. And it's funny because I have also been diving deep into those concepts lately, just because I'm going to be adding on another module of my Rise and Conker project, so the next round will be the first people to have that module, and then of course, if you have purchased the reject previously, you will be able to get that module as well. But yeah, so I've been getting into that, so it was kind of funny, and so I wanted to chat about jealousy and envy triggers.

But before I go into that, I guess I just want to do a skim across what I believe about triggers and kind of what I'm talking about. So I am a big believer that like triggers are often like, you know, a mirror.

doing something otherwise I don't have worth. And so a simple thing that triggered me years ago with Tim is on a Saturday, if I was working and he was literally just chilling doing nothing, like on the couch the whole day. It used to trigger me because I would I would be like, what are you doing? Like you free time? You should be mowing or you know, doing this, or you know, taking advantage of your time or working, and he was like, no, I just want to do nothing.

And that was triggering to me because in myself, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to sit there and just completely completely relax and receive and whatnot. Like now I'm a lot better at because I've realized it. But before and then, so I used to take that as I was just agitated and annoyed at him. Bit really he was mirroring a quality that I wanted in my life and that I didn't know

how to get. So does that make sense? So usually something triggers you, it's mirroring something usually that you need to heal or something that you want. Okay, guys, so that's just a little over overview. Let's talk about jealousy and envy. So, guys, we all have social media, Like probably if you're listening to this episode, you probably have social media, and you know, gone of the days where we can just be jealous of our friends and our

neighbors or whatnot. Like now we literally have the touch of our fingers everyone's lives and usually it's the highlight reel. So it's very easy to feel envious and jealous. So first of all, I just want you guys to know the difference between these two words, because there's a difference, and I know, I don't know people can use them interchangeably.

But basically, so, jealousy occurs when somethink, and this is a definition, jealousy occurs when somethink we already possess, usually like you know, a special relationship or something like that, is threatened by a third person. So jealousy is, you know, when you see a beautiful girl talking to your husband, or maybe your best friend is hanging out with another

you know girl a lot more than you. So jealousy is actually to do when you already have something and you're worried that it might be taken or like, or the person might leave or the thing might leave, whereas envy occurs when we lack a desired attribute or thing

enjoyed by another. So if we're talking about someone on Instagram who let's say they're a travel blogger and they're always like really not at the moment, but they're always traveling to Bali and Dubai and they're going first class and you're someone who loves to travel, that is envy, not jealousy. So I just wanted to make sure we, yeah, make a difference between that. Yeah, So, like jealousy is usually like a three person situation, whereas envy is usually

just you and another person. So guys, just quickly with jealousy because I don't want to touch on it too much because again, like I'm not really qualified, you know, in that relationship sort of section. And also I just really want to talk about the other stuff because I'm it's you know, I have more to talk about.

with me, like coming clubbing with me. Otherwise, you know, I was out with the girls, and I think I remember maybe one or two if that, but you know, if I was talking to other guys or hanging with other guys, literally Tim didn't care or he didn't show that, and he never seemed jealous. And I remember making the joke that it's like I don't even know, I don't even know if Tim likes me, because he just does not get jealous.

to go into that too much. It doesn't feel like my sort of thing. But I really want to talk about envy because I think this is something that absolutely gets everybody. Like I said, we see someone on social media that has a life that we want and we're envious, or you know, maybe it's a friend. You know, like maybe it's a friend that you're like, oh my god, she's just always getting the thing I.

what we can have. We just need to believe we can have it.

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And so try and think about this because you're maybe thinking, what, no, like I can't have that thing, which again that's a limiting belief. But for example, you know, Harro was talking about that travel blogger, Like I follow heats of travel bloggers on Instagram, and not once have I been envious of a travel blogger. And that is because in no way, shape or form is it in my you know, journey

or life to do that does that make sense? Like, don't get me wrong, I love their pictures, I love seeing like you know, places they're going to, and I like holidaying, but the idea of traveling for a living literally makes me anxious. I'm such a homebody. I love being at home. I love having my routines. I love you know, that sort of side of things, like yeah, I like to holiday at tropical places, but you know, maybe three four times a year and that's about it.

So that travel blogger would never trigger me because their life is no way or shape or form what I want or my future. Does that make sense? Whereas for example, literally I had something today where I saw someone who has a podcast and you know, sim following or like even less ener following, not doing a similar thing, but she brought out a book.

side of things. And don't get me wrong, I know I will or you know, do something similar in some shape or form at a later date. So I had that initial sting and then like I reminded myself, this is amazing. This person is doing it. If she can do it, I can do it too. And so, guys, this is the light bulb moment of the episode. I love that I told you that this is the light bulb moment. So guys, when we have envy, I want you to use this as an expander. So what is

an expander? And this is kind of, you know, the module that I will be including the next round, hopefully, because I think it's so important important in manifesting. So manifesting is you really need to believe in your worth to attract that thing to get that thing. If you don't believe that you can have it, or you don't believe you deserve it, you will not attract that thing.

you're literally going to find this hilarious. So I've definitely said this on podcasts when people ask me, you know, why did I want to do law?

I would just say, like poor sort of household. And I guess I had in my head that you kind of had to be wealthy to go to university, and so I saw that, you know, through everything, she got a good enough op she went to university and she did law. And that was kind of the first time that I had ever opened to myself up to expand enough to be like, oh, well, if she can do it, I can do it too. So there's my first expander

in following my dreams. The second one was and again you guys are going to laugh, but and I've said this on a podcast, but I watched Legally Blonde. So in Legally Blonde, the story is, you know, she's this dumb blonde. She's super fun and good looking and just has a good time all the time. Wow, And her boyfriend goes to law school and yeah, anyway, she ends up following him, goes to law school, is really good at it, studies really hard and you know, can do

law and becomes a lawyer. And again, that was an expander for me. It was a story where a girl comes from a background that isn't necessarily like the typical background of that degree.

And maybe it's not the whole scenario, Maybe it's a tiny little bit or you know, a trait or something like that, and then look at the whole thing of instilling the belief that if she can have it, I can have it too. So again, guys, and this is also another thing, like if you are trying to manifest something and it seems a bit out of reach or it seems a bit like you're trying to get on board with it, but you're like, fuck, like you know.

I should go do a degree. Like I would be googling people and going who has this successful company at seventeen? Looking into their life, reading into it. So your brain can be like, you know, this person did it, I can do it too. And don't get me wrong, like, of course, I think there's scenarios where you have to go through a journey and you have to like, for example, that scenario like maybe it is very helpful going to UNI or doing you know, a business course or something

like that. But I think if we can really change our beliefs and go, hey, that person can do it, I can do it too. So again it's like, look at who you're envious of, and instead of seeing this trigger as negative, I really want you to use it as an expander and see it as a like a possibility in your life. And it's okay if you can't

fully get on board. So you know, a great example is let's just say you follow someone and it triggers you because she, you know, comes from money, and so it's it's like, you know, it's not the scenario of she she did it, I can do it too, because you don't come from money. But I think what you would then do is you would look for people who are successful who didn't come from money. Does that make sense?

And that's like like when I talk about money, like you guys know, I'm very open about money, like I've openly said, you know how much Naked Harvest makes and you know that we've bought our third house and all these different scenarios, And if that triggers you in any way, it usually just means, like I said, you know there's something in there that you would like to own three properties, but you maybe feel like you can't. But instead, instead of being negative towards me, use me as an expander.

Because I didn't come from money. You guys know, I very much work to a got where I want to be. So it's like if I can do it, anyone can do it. And I think that's why I do share a lot of those things because I would love to

be an expander for someone in that situation. Again, guys, like, it's not always going to be as simple as that, and maybe this person triggers you from a deep rooted you know, trauma or something like that, and I very much encourage you to work with a professional or you know, even look at what inside you do you believe that you're not worthy of this thing you want, and then I you know, you will get into limiting beliefs and

limiting beliefs is a whole nother kettle of fish. And that's why in my Rising Conker project, we have a couple of modules on limiting beliefs, because yeah, it's a lot. There's a lot into it, and it's really a practice of reframing the stories. But sometimes it's you know, it's not that simple.

hope this was helpful. There were a lot of other talking points in regards to triggers, so I might do another episode, but again, I don't really feel that comfortable, and I think you should really seek professional help around like, you know, deep rooted trauma triggers. But yeah, I hope that was helpful guys, and I will see you in my next episode.

on the Apple podcast app. Also, if you're vibing this podcast and the concepts we're chatting about and your craving community, please come and join us over at the rn C podcast community Facebook group. Just search Rise and Conquer podcast community on Facebook and I will be in there to chat to you until next time.