So basically I spoke to the little soul and I was just like, I just was like, it's okay, you can leave, Like I don't need you to stay, because I think sometimes like you can kind of hold energy there because you feel attached to it. And so I almost I almost just like gave this sort of soul permission to leave and to like, you know, go off. And I also remember saying something like, you know, like come back to me when it's the right time. Welcome
back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, former lawyer turned entrepreneur, social media personality and personal development junkie. This podcast is for my girl gang who want to feed their mind with positive and expansive thoughts to help them step into their power and live their most authentic life. We chat a variety of topics
including mindset, business, relationships, health, and so much more. Basically, wherever you are on your journey, I want to help you feel inspired and empowered to rise up and conquer your next bold move. I know that's going to look different for everyone, but just no, I'm right here by your side and that you have the RNC community behind you. Let's do this. Hey guys, I just want to start this episode with a trigger warning. In this episode, I
do talk about my miscarriage and loss. You know, if you're currently experiencing this, first of all, sending you so much love and so much support, But this might be a bit of a hard episode to listen to if it's super fresh for you. Yeah, just wanted to put a trigger warning in there, and yeah, send you hips a love. Hello, and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. It is your host, Georgie Stevenson, and today I have a solo episode for you. You probably already
know by the title it is. It's a sensitive one and I've honestly been meaning to do this for a while and then, like every time, I kind of just can't bring myself to do it. But I did realize it is it's either now it's coming up in a few days that it's six months since I personally had my miscarriage, and I do have an episode on that
right at the start that I recorded. Honestly can't remember what I said, but I guess I just wanted to do an episode because, like I said in my first podcast, I think it's something that happens to a lot of women, but it's not necessarily something that we talk about. I think there's a lot of shame around the topic, and I think women, you know, have to deal with this almost by themselves. And I really want to speak on it because, yeah, I want more people to be aware.
I want to validate your feelings if you are going through something similar. And also this episode might be helpful if maybe you aren't going through something like this but you have a friend, because my friends and family at the time were so crucial to know how I coped. So it's just going to be a bit of an episode, almost like a bit of closure on the topic. I feel like I can speak on it a bit more in depth now that it's you know, it's still fresh.
I guess six months isn't that long. But I definitely do feel like a completely different person too late last year, so I guess the backstory. And again, I don't think I spoke about this on the podcast. I think I kind of asked everyone just to like not ask me questions about it, and I was just probably very vague, And that's just because Tim and me always just wanted to you know, I share so much with you guys.
I share so much of my personal life on Instagram and here in YouTube, and I love it and that's my choice. And it's not like I don't want to do that, but they're just ask certain things that I guess I just don't feel. It's not so much comfortable, but it's like there's just certain things I want to, you know, we want to deal with, and yeah, be in private. You get the gist. I feel like I don't have to explain that, so I guess the first thing,
and honestly, I don't. I don't think it matters either way. I think a miscarriage is such a huge loss and such a trauma that it doesn't matter if you were trying or not. Personally, me and Tim were trying, which is something I didn't really tell anyone. So I guess a bit of a backstory is me and Tim had been trying for quite some time, and I know when I did record the podcast, I kind of said that it was a surprise, and it was and that's just because you know, me and Tim had been trying for
some time and it wasn't happening. And I'm I'm a very proactive person. As you can probably imagine, and so I, you know, it wasn't happening, and so I went for like six months or so, let's just say. And then so I went to the doctors, you know, just to get some tests done. And that's actually when I found out about my order immune condition, which is called Hashi motos, which is basically an audio immune condition of the thyroid,
and it just means I had undirected thyroid. I also had really high antibodies, which is something that live in your body that kind of attack your immune system or just attack random things in your body because it thinks it's like yeah, like it's in an immune response. And so what was happening is my thyroid was getting attacked and it's like, clearly my thiroid is part of my body, but my body was commune confused and that's an autoimmune reaction. Wow,
tongue died. So that's when I found out about that, and that actually made so much sense because I had all the symptoms for years and no one could really figure it out. And so from that point, I you know, went and saw doctors had a whole sorry, from that point, I went and saw specialists and was looking into it and you know, a couple of weeks before we found out we were pregnant, I actually had been told by an endocrinologist, which is a hormone specialist, that I was infertile.
So she just said, look, your body would not be able to you know, produce a baby, hold a baby because my hormones were crazy and yeah, it's just like my thyroid wasn't producing the right hormones and it was underactive. And basically she was like, look, your body would never allow a pregnancy because it's kind it's like, you know, barely, it's barely surviving itself. It's not going to be able
to yeah, host survivor pregnancy. So that's what I had been told, and so I kind of completely shifted my mind away from yeah, any thoughts of trying or anything like that, and really focused on the health issues. That's also when I started to look into you know, breast implant illness, and I saw so many ladies who developed autoimmune conditions then got their implants out and were so much healthier. And so that's when I had really like set into motion that I was going to get my
implants out. So I booked a consultation. I booked my surgery and they actually had a cancelation so I could get in literally within two weeks, and so that was like, you know, my current reality. And then we found out we were pregnant, and so you can imagine my mental state of going through this whirlwind of a year of really wanting a pregnancy, trying so hard, then finding out I was infertile at that point and you know, there's no point, and then literally a couple weeks later finding
out I was in fact pregnant. It really felt like a mirror, like a miracle, Like it really felt like, you know, we were given this thing and it was so special and it wasn't meant to happen, but it had happened for us that sort of scenario. So I wasn't very far along when I miscarried. I think it was only you know, like seven weeks. But in saying that too, that's something else I really want to validate is it does not matter how far along you are.
I think when you find out you're pregnant and you know you do want that pregnancy, it's like it sparks this like and especially because I'm like a planner and a visionary sort of person, like I had already planned my whole fucking next couple of years and envision what life would be like, and you know, in vision and to him as a father and all these things, like you just you kind of do it instantly, And miscarriages really wasn't something that were talked about for me personally.
I actually had my best friend had a miscarriage, so I didn't know about it. But I also, like my family, I have three older brothers who all have like three kids, who had kids, you know, when they were twenty one, who have like or had you know what I know of healthy pregnancies or fallen pregnant very fast. So I kind of didn't even think about, you know, miscarriage being a possibility, and it's not like something you really want
to think about. But yeah, so when you know, we did find out we were miscarrying, because I wasn't as far as long it could just all happen naturally, so I didn't have to get a DNC or anything like that. But still it was just like one of the most
traumatic and hard experiences I have ever been through. And still, you know, still to this day, it gets me upset, and I think that's why I have put off you know this podcast, but in saying that, I think it's really important to talk about it because I chose to share this on my social media and the like, the like, the love and support I received was so huge, and it was like it was really it was really helpful for me at that time because not only, you know,
did I receive a lot of love and support, but I also could talk to other females who had gone through what I had gone through because I don't know
the feelings that you feel. It's like and this is also something I want to touch on and I could literally do a whole Another episode is like, you know, when you're trying to get pregnant and it's not happening and you're seeing all these other pregnancy announcement like one of my pet hates, like Presley was like you would hear other influencers literally say it took them one try, like the first month and they were pregnant, and you're just sitting there going are you fucking serious? Like it
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and the show notes. But enough about wellness. Let's get back into the show and like to be completely honest, like when you're trying and it's not happening, like you can feel like shame around that because it's kind of like, you know, this is what I'm this is what my body is meant to do. And yeah, like I said, that's a whole nother podcast in itself. So then when it does happen and it doesn't work out, there's just so many feelings of shame. What did I do? You know,
why can't my body hold this pregnancy? And it's really I guess it's really validating when you speak to other people and their feelings, which really helped me. And so obviously you know you have to feel completely comfortable, but I do encourage you to reach out to other people or talk about it. It was, Yeah, it was really helpful for me personally to kind of I guess just like no other people are in the same boat, go
through the same things. And for me, what was very helpful is like to see people say like, you know, they got through it, They're okay now. So yeah, I think also like a huge thing that helped me was just like I'm a huge introvert, so I love being by myself. Is like I just took a couple of weeks off, well I kind of had to because I then had my implant removal surgery literally I think a week later, which was honestly kind of good because I
was recovering from that also. And so I think sometimes with a miscarriage, you know, it can just feel like mental but it's like you need to take time off, you need to feel your feelings. And yeah, so I really encourage you to like feel your feelings, take time off, like take time off work. I saw the other day that just Cinder the New Zealand, I think prime minister, I think that's what they call well, I'm so bad
with politics. They have just implemented a new rule where it's like anyone who has a miscarriage is entitled to leave off work. And yes, it's so important because when you're trying to deal with your feelings and then it'll also like show up normal for other people, it's like you just can't. So it was really helpful. Just the first couple of weeks is I literally did no work. I just was at home. I really you know, relished
in being by myself. And yeah, I guess like feeling the feelings was huge for me because I think sometimes you know, any sort of feelings, we don't necessarily want to feel them, but if we don't feel them, like we're not going to deal with them and we're just going to push them down and they're going to come out in other ways like anxiety and depression and whatnot.
I think a huge feeling that I felt that I very much want to validate is like hopelessness, like you know, and oh my god, if you if you know someone who's going through this, the worst thing you can say is like, you know, don't worry, you can keep you can try. You know, you can try again. This is
a good sign. Means you're fertile. Like I was literally just like shut the fuck up, like don't don't say any of that, like or even and this is like I know I say this all the time, but like, you know, everything happens for a reason, and don't get me wrong. Now I can look back that one hundred percent happened for a reason, and yeah, like if I hadn't had the miscarriage, I wouldn't been able to get the surgery and just a whole you know, list of things.
So now that I'm like six months past, it is like, yeah, I can see the bigger picture and I can see that, but when you're in it, it's like the worst thing that people just being like, oh, you know, like everything happens for a reason, like obviously it wasn't meant to be, and you're literally like shut the fuck up. So if
you're someone's friend, like don't do that. And yeah, you go through a lot of feelings, like there's shock and denial and I guess like the stages of grief like anger and guilt and depression to spare hopelessness, like feel
of those feelings go through it. No, they are so valid, And like I said, it does not matter if it was four weeks, if it was you know, a small amount of time is like a pregnancy really signifies this like hope, this new beginning, this new chance, and then when that is taken it away, it's yeah, it's really it's really hard. It doesn't matter how early on in the pregnancy. Like don't get me wrong, I could imagine how fucking hard it would be if I was further along.
But I also want to make sure I validate people who you know or even someone maybe you weren't trying and you had a miscarriage, Like that's still going to be so extremely hard because I'm sure there was a stage there where you you know, decided that you did want to keep it, and I think, you know, make sure, like talk to your partner. It was a little hard with me and Tim because Tim isn't a huge talker, and I feel like, you know, males are a little
bit different. They're not carrying something inside them. Their body doesn't change, like they don't get the symptoms like I remember, I got pregnancy symptoms hardcore, like smell was making me feel sick and I was feeling very unware. Well, to be completely honest, it wasn't didn't seem like it was going to be a great pregnancy because I was so sick even right at the start. And yeah, so I think it was a little bit hard for Tim to resonate,
but he was obviously so supportive. But you know, make sure you're leaning on your partner, talking to them and yeah, like I said, just like no, it's like I think it's like the statistic it's like one in four pregnancies and in miscarriage. So I guarantee you there's people around you. And that's like when I did the post on Instagram, there were so many people who I knew had experienced it, who I you know, didn't know how to experienced it.
Speaking about it really helped me, but obviously that's such a personal choice. And then just like I know this is like so hard, but know that it's like time does heal all. For me, it was just about focusing on focusing on feeling my feelings, feeling it all, but also knowing that you know, I will feel happier one day. I will kind of get there. I just needed to go through this shitty part. And then also what I wanted to touch on. That's something that really helped me.
So when me and him were trying, I was reading this book called Spirit Babies. Let me just google the author. Okay, So the book is called Spirit Baby is How to Communicate with the Children Child You're Meant to Have And it's by Walter Mick Hitchen and he is a clairvoyant. So super woo woo book. But you know, do you
expect anything less from me? And so I had been recommended to read it, and I think I was listening to a podcast saying and she recommended it, and I do highly recommend, like if you are someone who is either trying and it's not happening, or going from a miscarriage. It was a really good book. So what I had
been doing previously to you know what happened. I was doing these spirit baby meditations and look bet with me, And basically there were just meditations where I would connect with black I guess the soul of my future child and draw them in and just like establish that connection. So when it was time, you know, for the soul to come down and whatnot, it would all happen anyway.
So in this book he just goes through all these scenarios of like, you know, people who were trying and what they needed to do differently, or if someone was having pregnancy complications and whatnot. And also in the book he explains that you know, everyone's on every soul on their carmic journey, so if the pregnancy does end in a miscarriage, that is what that soul has chosen and
it's nothing to do with you. And I think that was just very helpful for me because because I felt like the pregnancy you know, didn't happen because of my thyroid issues, I just had a lot of guilt. It's like, you know, guilt that my body couldn't hold the pregnancy like I couldn't you know, hold the baby, and so it just it was just a lot, and so you know, to have that other perspective was just very helpful for me.
And then the last thing I want to touch on and I'm definitely gonna cry even more because it's just like it was such a surreal experience. But something else that I very much encourage. And I was dming my friend Chloe Zepp on Instagram and she was open about having a miscarriage briefly, so we were dming. We have been friends for years because I know her sister Amy, and so we were dming and she was saying something that really helped her was getting a womb clearing, like
an energy clearing by like an energy worker. I guess, like I think it's called Riki. I don't know if it's the same. So I had this girl called Danny do it, and oh my god, it was definitely needed and also helpful for me. And I'll put Danny's details in the show notes. She's obviously Gold Coast based, so if you're on the Gold Coast. But anyway, so I got a womb c and also, guys, that's not like a like a shout out or anything like that like
obviously paid for her services. She was very good. But obviously if you need it, I think it would be super helpful where basically she goes in and she just clears any stagnant energy in your womb, if the spirit you know is still there, and any blocks, and that just helps you deal with you know, deal with the grief and deal with it so you can move on. So I probably got this done probably like four weeks after my miscarriage, so it wasn't like straight away. I
definitely you know, left some time to feel and whatnot. Yeah, So she did this like energy womb healing, and since I've had that, I've actually had other energy clearings done because I just found it so helpful when you are feeling stagnant or stop sorry, stuck and like you do have a block in your body, getting someone to like clear the energy. Yeah, it can be good if you're
into that sort of thing. So in this womb healing, she you know, she did some massive she did some things, but something that was really impactful for me is during she did this like visulation visualization exercise where I pictured I guess like speaking to the soul and also giving it permission to go all right, guys, I'm so sorry.
Let's just power through this because it's yeah. So basically I spoke to the little soul and I was just like I just was like, it's okay, you can leave, Like I don't need you to stay, because I think sometimes like you can kind of hold energy there because you feel attached to it, and so I almost I almost just like gave this little soul permission to leave and to like, you know, go off. And I also remember saying something like, you know, like come back to
me when it's the right time. And I felt so much better after that because I think, like I said, I was just holding onto a lot of guilt around not being able to hold the pregnancy and feeling like really bad about that. And I think it's like, you know, even if you don't believe in like souls or anything else, like it was almost it was very freeing. It's almost like I was forgiving myself and like kind of letting myself be lack. It's okay, you can leave, we can
move on. You tried your best sort of situation, and yeah, so that was super that was really helpful for me, and I know I'm like crying and probably upsetting some people, but honestly do Like I remember after that feeling so at peace, which was huge to me because before that, like I just didn't and so that was like a really big step for me. That was helpful. And then yeah, like even even though I am you know, crying, getting upset,
I do feel really at peace with what happened. And I can now see the bigger picture of you know, my saying of life happens for me, not to me, And even though it's a really fucking terrible thing, I can see and it's also lack nothing had ever happened to me like that, Like I've had no one close to me pass away or you know, no huge trauma. And not that I'm saying we are supposed to have trauma, because I do not believe that. But it definitely changed
me as a person. It definitely made me stronger. I definitely could see things a lot more clearly in regards to just everything. And yeah, it's like, I don't know, like it's a you know, milestone in my life where I will always kind of remember. And even though it's so painful, I don't like to see it as this
negative thing. Obviously it's not a fucking positive thing. But I don't like to see it as this negative thing because yeah, like I said, now, looking back, I can see it all happen for a reason, and it very much, Yeah, made me stronger and really you know, pulled me and him together. We were a lot closer, and I had friends like who reached out, who were so supportive, who was so there for me, And yeah, anyway, I'm rambling,
I'm going to finish this episode. I hope that was kind of helpful, and I really really hope I did not upset anyone. I just really wanted to kind of I guess have a close on that because I did say I was going to speak about it more and then I just couldn't really bring myself to do it until now. But yeah, it's six months down the track, and I do feel so much more at peace, and yeah,
like it, like I said, time heals all. And I just want to just send so much love and support if any anyone is going through something similar or you know they know if they are, I know someone who is, and if you do know someone who is, like honestly, just be there for them, Just be supportive, don't say anything fucking stupid uh and you know they will get through it. But yeah, thanks for listening, guys, And like I said, a big thank you for the huge support
when I did go through that late last year. My community. I say this all the time, but you guys are so oh you guys are just so amazing and I feel very, very lucky to have you guys. And yeah, so I really appreciate it. But enough of that. I'm gonna go get things a bit sorted, wipe these eyes, and get on my day. And I really hope you guys have an amazing day all night. Whatever you're listening.
Thank you for listening for another rn C episode. I really appreciate taking the time to be here with me, and also for taking the time for yourself. If you found this episode helpful, it would be so amazing if you shared it on your stories and tagged us, or simply just send it on to a girlfriend or family member who would benefit from listening. We are an independent podcast run by me and my amazing podcast manager, so it would mean the world to us if you left
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