Hello my queen, it's episode 13. We're at the Royal Court! Ahahahah! Ahahahah! Ahahahah! Ahahahah! Ahahahah! Ahahahah! Ahahahah! Welcome back to the show where I talk about a theme, This is Not My Real Accent. This is no one's real accent. This is a combination of accents. Whoops. Create a character. Oops, never lived on this planet. Welcome back to the Rina Hundred Show. The show where I just mess around. No, I pick a topic every week and I talk about it.
And this week we're going to talk about romantic relationships, aka the dreaded phrase of every comedian. Dating is hard. It's difficult, especially in our modern day and age where it feels like our cell phones separate, like create this barrier between us, don't they? It's kind of harder to talk to strangers, isn't it? It's kind of easier to just bury your face and your phone.
I mean, a lot of the people that I met back in the day when I was really out there in my 20s, early 20s, I met because we randomly talked at a bar or something and nobody had their noses in their phones at that time. So it was like, you know, people were just staring around, talking to people. It was much easier to just interact with a stranger, strike up a conversation, make a new friend.
And I have to say, sometimes I think, like, can't we just get a commune together and sequester ourselves away from having to use these smartphones so that we can just enjoy interacting with nature and our world without them? But then I think, wouldn't that be boring? No, it wasn't boring. It was actually pretty magical. But it's hard to go back. It's just got so much dopamine from this thing. But yeah, that's a huge barrier to dating.
I mean, it feels like it added this extra step of not knowing the person at all, where people have to go on these apps and try to figure out an idea of someone from their pictures and their description of themselves and then meet them and then realize, oh, this is nothing like the idea that I had. Now I'm going to create a whole new idea of who I think you are, which invariably, as I get to know you, is also going to be deconstructed. So it's like, you get disillusioned twice.
I feel like that's kind of not fair. Because nobody's the first, you know, the first thing, the first impression you have if you like someone when you're dating them, like early on, is always just way better than any human being naturally is. You're just like, or I don't know if anybody else does this. But I think we all do, where we just assume, oh, I don't know them that well and they're cute. So it's like, they must just be the best. They must think like I do.
They must right away understand all my references. They must just be awesome and have no trauma or baggage or anything that's going to hurt me in the future. This is in my early 20s, obviously, before I realized that everything hurts and life is hard. Haha. Back to the strange accent I see. Right? You know, that is of course until you meet the one person that, you know, still hurts, but it's like, not really though. They don't really hurt you. They just kind of annoy you forever.
But you love them. That you love them and you annoy them. And then it's funny to annoy them. And then that annoys them more. I think that's a long-term relationship in my book. But yeah, what a difference. I am pretty glad that I didn't mature into dating in the era of smartphones. I guess this accent is just not going anywhere today. Yeah, I'm pretty glad that that came later and I knew how to approach, oh God, it's never going to end. People in the bar.
You know, and I used to feel like I was a master at it. But the thing is that I'm not mentioning here is of course the social lubricant that is lubricant. Was that going like Scottish there? Lubricant that is alcohol. Now I don't drink anymore, but man, that helped a lot too to meet people, didn't it? Just, uh, just drinking. Drinking is also an excuse to talk to someone. Now if you're both at the bar, it's like, oh, we're next to each other. Oh, we're both waiting for the bartender.
You know, we're kind of in the same boat, aren't we? Well, we already have something in common. Perhaps we should hang out or whatever. You make woody banter. It's just a reason to be around people. It helps people let their guards down. Perhaps a little too much if you're someone like me. Um, yeah, and I wonder, like, also because now I think drinking has become much less trendy. Maybe it hasn't. Maybe I'm just less trendy and I don't really know what's up.
But everybody's always complaining that like Gen Z's are square and they don't drink and they don't do drugs and they don't smoke and what do they do? They hang out with their parents. Um, I don't know. I don't, I have not seen that to be true, but I don't really know, you know. I'm not really in touch with people of the younger generation too much. Not too much. Maybe I'm heading towards a little Jean-Luc Picard kind of thing right now. Now the accent keeps evolving.
Um, but, uh, but I wonder, I bet that would also add another layer of frigidness, frigidity. I don't know. Um, I don't know. Um, to the whole process, not drinking as much, um, makes it harder to randomly talk to strangers and feel, you know, alcohol did this thing where it made you feel like, like kind of a warmth with strangers or maybe like a false sense of safety and security, a false sense of familiarity with strangers. And you don't really get that automatic camaraderie without it.
So that's another reason dating is hard. It is hard. I think also a reason dating is hard in general is because I, I get this impression and you know, I'm not a historian. And I think I say this every episode where I just make broad general statements about the past, which of course the past is a very long time full of lots of nuance and different cultures, et cetera, et cetera. But I think dating as the way we do it in modern times feels very new to me, new to me.
Um, per-carte, let's take the star trek away from dating. Okay. It's tough. Um, it feels very new to me. I feel like, um, maybe because everybody died younger or there were the STDs were more dangerous or disease was more dangerous plague, perhaps, but physical contact wasn't as safe back in the day, physical sexual contact.
And um, you know, people weren't as free with their bodies and with their time and, and, and women also weren't allowed to make generally, and I'm not saying the whole world, I'm sure there were exceptions, but I feel like generally throughout history, women and also probably men weren't allowed to as freely just randomly associate with each other and make their own choices about who they were going to end up with. I mean, I think there were like, sometimes there were very rigid class systems.
I mean, there still are in our society, but it's, you can transcend. I mean, some of them, you can't, I mean, obviously, uh, I'm not going to date anyone for the 1%, um, but they could choose to date me. And back in the past, um, you know, I don't, I think if you were from a certain echelon during most of the past, it feels like you couldn't really transcend to the peasants and find Cinderella who fits into the shoe. Um, maybe they did. Maybe that's where that story comes from.
Um, but it feels like all of us walking around as free agents, just trying to figure out who the other person is without any knowledge of their family or background or their family, doesn't know our family. Uh, just feels like a lot of weight of responsibility on our shoulders to completely make that decision on our own. Of course it is a freedom that has been afforded to us that probably people had yearned for for thousands of years.
And perhaps at times they were able to do such a thing, um, in certain class systems. Um, but it just feels new. Um, and it feels like nobody really knew how to prepare us for this. They were just kind of like, go out there, find your person, um, without really much warning or much knowledge of how, because we really haven't been doing it that long. I mean, at least in my culture, I mean, I think that a long time ago probably would have been semi arranged.
I mean, they probably would have made sure we kind of got along, but I think it was more about the union of families or the union of resources. Um, so that's another thing that makes dating hard because it's new and there's no wealth of human that I'm aware of. And again, I could be totally wrong, but there's no, not a huge wealth that I've seemingly had access to from the anthropological past of like how to do this in a, in an intelligent and useful way that's going to pay off in the end.
I don't know. Maybe I should have read more books about it. Now dating is also hard because you can end up in an unhealthy relationship. Um, and I think, uh, many people have been there at least at one point in their lives. I think getting into an unhealthy relationship is part of what, uh, makes you finally understand what a healthy relationship is. Um, but that can be a major bummer and also be something you can be stuck in forever if you're not careful. It's an unhealthy relationship.
I mean, generally from what I've seen with my friends, et cetera, is a cycle of on and off, on and off. Um, you know, and when it's on, it's great. And when it's off, you're in withdrawal and kind of realizing that this person is not treating you the way you should be treated, but you just can't get enough because, because it's scarcity. The scarcity makes the whole thing seem so much higher value than it actually should be.
Because if someone is not giving you all the attention you need and deserve, that's not a high value person. That's a low value insecure person that cannot, has not found a way to love themselves yet and does not have the capacity. And the problem is like, if you get into enough of these relationships, you start thinking that good relationships don't, don't actually exist for you. Like maybe they exist for other people or maybe those people are lying and maybe they just don't exist period.
Uh, but the fact of the matter is, is that they do exist and you can have one anytime you truly are ready. But when you're used to the unhealthy withdrawal dopamine addictive cycle, um, a healthy relationship after one of those can feel, blah, like can feel wrong and unfamiliar and just strange, um, and triggering in many ways. And there and lies the rub, my friend. For when you go to uncharted territories in space, you must set aside your need for familiarity in the face of the unknown.