Your Self Talk Is The Strategy

The biggest thing holding you back is not your offer, not your content, not the algorithm. It's how you talk to yourself. Period. The story you're repeating in your head is either your personal sales pitch or your silent sabotage.

I'm going to walk you through what I call the 72 hour mirror method. It's a tactical shift in how you speak to yourself that literally rewires your identity and changes how you show up on online, on sales calls, in relationships, everywhere. This is the internal performance psychology that elite athletes, high earning CEOs and top closers use daily. And most people never even think about it.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a step by step process to talk to yourself in a way that builds identity, confidence and results without ever waiting on a win to prove it. And if you stick with me to the end, I'll show you the one tiny tweak you can make to your morning that compounds this into a completely new self concept in 72 hours. Hours or less. How you communicate with yourself internally is how you program the way you see yourself. It's all through the words you say to yourself.

And if you do it right, and I mean exactly the way I'm about to break down, you will feel more aligned, more convicted, and more confident within three days. Let me make it super clear. This is not about positive thinking. This is about personal identity construction through intentional internal dialogue. You are literally designing your identity in real time through your inner voice. So. So if you've got negative chatter looping on repeat, guess what? That's what you're becoming.

But if you learn to speak to yourself like the person you want to be, your brain and your behaviors will follow.

So here's the framework. Step one. Name the narrative. Before you can redirect your internal dialogue, you need to know what it currently is. What's the dominant story playing in your head? Is it, I always fall short, no one buys for me. I'm behind or I'm not ready yet. Cool. Say it out loud. Don't hide it. Pull it into the light. Because anything you don't own will own you. I think the more brutally honest you can be, the more you can pray and ask God to show you what you aren't seeing.

Like, hey, I want this thing and I know I have no idea how to make it happen, but you do. This is what surrendering to God looks like. It's inviting him into every action, every post you write, the offers you run. Is it your plan or is it his plan? Are you launching because you Want money? Or are you launching because you truthfully expanded yourself and you want to share the gift with the world? Right?

Having honest conversations about who we are being and what we're doing is the difference between having a positive self narrative happening or avoiding growth. For a long time, part of me was convinced that if I just worked hard enough, if I finally became a godly enough version, if I cared more deeply, if I became more selfless, eventually I would reach a point where I felt like I had become the person who was worthy of receiving what I wanted.

But that's just because I had to effort to earn love growing up because I had emotionally unavailable parents who were amazing. But the truth is still the truth. I started having to parent my parents and hold space for their trauma when I was really young because of my brother's addiction. I had chaos in my home every single day and no one was solving problems. Everyone was just brushing things under the rug. And so I became this person who is like, how do I get on the other side of this?

How do I move regardless of what is happening around me? How can I become happy when life keeps pushing me in the face? So I did the only thing I knew I could. There were seats, seasons of my life where I worked two full time jobs and would work seven days a week for 70 hours trying to become who I needed to be fighting for that seat at the table.

No matter how much money I had coming in, no matter how cute my furniture was, I was still gaining weight, stressed out, miserable, and quite frankly, was exhausted from efforting, exhausted from trying to be somebody, exhausted from always trying to make it happen. But this level of desire that is built inside of me from watching everyone I loved around me fail repeatedly and give into the easy way out just kept lighting a bigger and bigger fire under me.

It's been really challenging for me because if I open up and share the real things behind it, I feel like I'm hurting my family. And growing up, I was told because of my brother's addiction that what happens in the home stays in the home.

We don't share that with others. But this also caused me to be burdened with my own demons and not having the capacity to share what was happening in my world. To this day, I have a really inconsistent relationship with my parents. And it's hard because I so desperately want to show up as the best version of myself each day. And for a long time, that felt like being the one who looks the other way and makes excuses for others. And it made me study emotional intelligence.

How to have hard conversations, how to talk to people, how to adjust my mind. The more my parents avoided looking in the mirror, the harder it made me look at myself. When you grow up exposed to codependency, alcoholism, drugs, I have had people follow me home asking me for money. Getting off the school bus, I had to remove my last name on my social media account because I would get people messaging me and coming after me for drug money.

From my brother, I got to hear stories about being held at gunpoint or the time he got stabbed and told my parents he hit his stomach on the corner of some desk he was moving. My mom would lie and tell me, don't tell your dad about this. My dad was often traveling for work, so he wasn't around much growing up, and when he was, he was angry at life and constantly yelling at my brother, smashing another vase.

At one point, my mom told me that I was no longer allowed to go out with my friends or have sleepovers, so I didn't turn into my brother. She basically put me on house arrest and I went from being popular, going to all the parties and dating the older boys to trying not to cry because I was eating my lunch alone in the library or would walk somewhere by myself and hold it all together. All this stuff caused me a lot of pain.

And my mom got sick when I was young and she would spend days in bed and sometimes I would clean the house for her, help her put her socks on because she couldn't bend to reach her feet and put them on. I would come home at 9pm after work on the weekend and my parents would be out at their camp getting drunk with their friends and I would come home to the smell of oxies being smoked lingering in the air.

This one time I came home with two of my girlfriends and my brother was lying naked on the kitchen floor, completely passed out with the fridge door wide open and a jug of juice poured all over the floor. And I just told my friends, it's okay, just go downstairs, I'll be there in a minute, and checked his pulse and carried him to his room and put him in bed. I was about 16 because one of my friends just got her license and we went out to celebrate.

I was constantly left with these decisions of do I tell my parents what happened and hurt them? I know they can barely handle this and my mom would hide things, so I would hide things. My I reached a point where I just stopped talking altogether because I couldn't keep track of all the stories happening. People often tell me they need My level of authenticity, but they don't know that it comes from years of being lied to. You have to be the change you want to see in the world.

The thing is that even though I'm healing in new ways and new levels from all this right now, the skills and resilience and overcoming and constantly fighting to do the opposite of what I knew in my heart wasn't true, I'm so grateful for all of it, because I'm really proud of who I am, even when it makes the current people around me feel uncomfortable. I've listened to my parents call me irresponsible for launching my business, even though it's always been my dream.

Not everyone in your life is going to understand you. People who don't have the level of consciousness that you have won't have the capacity to see the truth. And that's okay. Having the capacity to hold space for your own dreams when no one else around you shows up the way you wish is a signal that you have more internal work to do. It's a sign that my internal dialogue is still wrong.

Not because I'm wrong, but because if I showed up for myself more powerfully, others would match the level of respect I have for myself. But it's been a really long, crappy journey to be able to love myself when no one else has ever really shown me what that looks like. But having the power to look at yourself and see the gaps and cry or hurt or have pain and still move and be grateful for it all is the game.

The dreams that you have inside of you, the delusional part of you, that inner knowing that peace and love God provides, if you repent, if you recalibrate, if you take full ownership for your reality and what's inside of it, you earn the capacity to be shown the light and to let it be easy.

When you finally release control and decide that you individually were predetermined to go through all the things and have it unfold so you can change the world with whatever your unique gift is. For me, I could finally start seeing my own value. I thought that someday I would meet a man who would show me what it looked like, or somehow, if I just met the right person, that I would feel like I was enough.

But that's having a circumstantial identity, and it's also putting your happiness in someone else's hands. Your internal dialogue and who you are right now in this moment, is going to dictate what happens next. So in case you forgot, this is step one. The internal Dialogue. This is awareness. This is dealing with it. Step two, Speak from the result, not the resistance. Once you've named the story, you get to rewrite it. Not from where you are, but from where you're going.

And no, this isn't about delusion. It's about devotion to the version of you you're becoming. You don't need to fix anything. You need to focus. Focus on the future. You talk like her, walk like her, and decide like her. The way I started shifting everything was by catching myself thought and flipping the script. I'd hear the voice say, you're behind, and I'd say, not possible. I'm on divine time. I'd hear, you're not ready, and I'd say, I'm already in the room.

You don't need external permission to speak power into your own life. What you rehearse internally, you replicate externally. The real Flex is becoming someone your past self wouldn't even recognize because you finally stopped negotiating with the version of you that was built in survival.

When I was 16 and things were really bad at home, that's when I started learning how to use repetition, the law of attraction, and started speaking life and only focused on what I wanted versus what was happening every single night. For years and years. I fell asleep listening to Tony Robbins and the Secret on Netflix to the point that I could recite the documentary and knew almost every word. I started buying the books to find out what happiness was and how I could reach it.

So when I'm telling you about rewiring your brain and your thought patterns, it's coming from almost 17 years of rewiring and flipping the script and becoming someone new every single day. And I can confidently say I didn't become a Chief marketing officer by 28, running a North American company by not doing the work. I didn't have two failed businesses trying to make it happen. By 26, I didn't become the CEO I am today with my three companies by becoming a victim of my 3D reality.

I did it by operating with my next level in mind. Consistently.

Here's the part where most people flinch because it's weird to look yourself in the eye and say, I am powerful. I am chosen. I am more than enough. But here's the thing. If you don't say it, no one else can say it loud enough to override the loop in your head for 72 hours. I want you to become obsessed with this mirror in the morning. Speak it in the middle of a self doubt spiral. Speak it at night before bed, when the anxiety creeps in. Speak it again.

Because if you can hold a vision of who you're becoming, louder than the past you're leaving behind, you will walk different. You will sell different. You will be different. This is not about doing more. This is about becoming the person who already has what you want. And the words you say to yourself are the blueprint. Every morning, before your phone, before your inbox, before you plug into anyone else's energy, ask yourself out loud, who do I want to be today? Then answer it. Declare it.

Speak it. Into the mirror, the kitchen counter, the shower wall. I don't care. What matters is that you say it like it's already done. Today, I am focused. Today I am powerful. Today, I am magnetic. Today, everything flows. Speak it, breathe it. And let your identity be the ignition that powers the rest. Your life will never outperform your internal dialogue. You can have the best funnel, the most fire content, the best branding in the world.

But if the story in your head is still running on fear, lack, shame, or not enoughness, none of it will convert. Not because you aren't talented, but because you're asking the world to believe something you haven't fully claimed yet. So try this.

For 72 hours, become obsessed with the way you speak to yourself. Don't wait for proof to feel powerful. Talk to yourself like the version of you who's already built the thing, already healed the wound, already stepped into the room. Because once that voice is louder than the one you inherited from your past, nothing, nothing can stop you. You want to change your business? Start by changing the conversation inside your own mind.