When Clients “Ghost” or Delay, What That’s Actually Reflecting Back

Hello, my loves. This episode is going to be like a truth mirror for you. One that is held in love and not judgment.

Because I know how painful it can be when a client ghosts you, when they delay, when the deal feels so close and then nothing happens, right? And I know what it does to your nervous system if you haven't learned how to anchor in your truth. So today, we're going to flip that mirror over.

Because when people ghost you, when opportunity are delayed, it's not really just about them. It's a reflection, not of your unworthiness, but of the deactivated parts of you. The parts of you that are still unhealed, unseen and unchosen, right? In the process of becoming whole, becoming who God actually created you to be. That means facing the parts of yourself that you have buried, that you have left behind, the parts that still don't feel like they're enough.

The parts that try to earn your worth instead of sitting in it. And when a client disappears, when someone ghosts you, when the sales call doesn't go as it was planned, when that is delayed, that is often mirroring the deactivated part, right? So these parts are still seeking external validation. These parts are still chasing. They're still trying to prove. They're still trying to effort their way through something. So I want to talk about that energy.

This is like a scarcity loop that says internally for you. It might sound like if I just send more dms, if I get in front of more people, if I just change my icp, right? Or maybe I don't have the right one yet. If I just did more, then it will work, right? I just. I didn't have it today. I'm still missing something. And when it doesn't, your mind just starts to make everything means something, right? Like I didn't do enough. I don't have what it takes. And you're back in that cycle.

This is the endless chase, and I need you to hear me. The pattern of attaching meaning to the moment is what's keeping you stuck. I feel like I just want to say this one more time because this is so critical. The pattern of attaching meaning to the moment is why you don't have the results that you're looking for. Not everything has to have meaning, right? Not every delay is a denial. Not every conversation or sales call that didn't turn into what you wanted means something about you, right?

Sometimes it's just there to show you where you lowered the standard, right? That maybe you were going to lower your price for this. Person, maybe you were going to offer them some kind of bonus that you don't normally offer, right? So if something like that is happening in your reality, then that is divine protection because you're being positioned for what's actually yours, right? But so often you effort your way through that. You recognize the opportunity once it's in front of you.

Because the only thing you can control is yourself, your thoughts, your energy, your belief system. So if you're going to have thoughts, they are not going to be rooted in fear or doubt or lack. They are not going to sound like that I am going to have a thought. It is going to sound like people read my content and they are instantly moved. They see my leadership and they instantly know I'm the one who. There is no wobble in the frequency, right? I am anchored, I am trusted.

I know that my work delivers. And so it's actually a gift for these people. What is your current belief system? Right? Like, does your current belief system think that the only way that you're going to get your next 10 clients is if you send 1000 dms today, right? Or this month. I mean, not a thousand in a day, but if those are the, the stories that you have playing in your mind right now, or that every time you DM somebody and people aren't responding right?

Or every time you have a sales call, people have to think about it, I don't know what it looks like for you personally. I'm just pulling some examples from some client work that we did recently and that's why I'm sharing this. Are you operating in the energy of everything that I do works out for me. I am an abundant child of God. I. I believe in the promises that he made for me. And do you think that you are actually going to win, right?

Or are you constantly looking for that missing piece, that extra something? If you're constantly waiting for something outside of you to confirm or. Yes, I finally nailed it. This is the perfect system. This is the perfect whatever. Like, no, it's not by your work alone. Yes, you have to take action. Yes, you have to do things right.

But if they're all the wrong things and you're just trying to effort your way through them, you're not going to get the outcomes that you want because you're upper reading from old programming. And you have to stop second guessing yourself. You have to stop second guessing your path, stop second guessing your strategies, stop second guessing why something happened, right? Not everything has to have an answer. Stop thinking that it has to be hard all the time, right?

That there has to be something that you have to fix or refine or tweak or I guess I got to adjust this, right? Like that's the real gap. So God did not give us struggle, right? He gave us peace. So John 14:27 says, I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. Does that sound like the best marketing strategy ever or what? Right? Like that is the belief system that I want you to operate from.

I want you to understand that your gift is peace of mind and heart, right? Like the world can't give you that. Right? The world can give you more effort, more strategies, more whatever. But you have to go within yourself if you want to scale beyond it, right? Psalm 23:1 says, the Lord is my shepherd and I have all that I need. Right? Does it sound like you're missing something? No, you're not missing anything, Right? You are made perfectly in his image and he did not screw up with you. Right?

Matthew 6:33 says, Seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything that you need. Right? It doesn't say, go send 50 DMS, go have 25 sales calls and overthink it, worry about it, stress about it, attach meaning to it. No, he just says, seek the kingdom of God above all else, right? Live righteously and he will give you everything. What does it mean to live righteously? Right?

Like that means to be rooted in your truth, to not lower your standards, to believe that he left you with peace and peace of your mind and of your heart, right? It means that you are whole already and you don't need anything else outside of you to fully walk in in that. Now, whatever beliefs come up for you when I tell you that is your internal work, right? Because in order to guard your mind, you first have to clean your mind up of the old programming and set in new programming.

So God has already promised your provision. He like, if your system right now is built on fear, on chasing, on proving that isn't God, that is your old programming, that is your efforting, that is the thing that you are like, okay, we are constantly being programmed by our environment, by people who don't live in faith, by people who don't understand the abundance of a God led light. And that's why you don't just guard your mind, you guard your circle.

Because if the wrong person plants a seed of doubt, you'll spend the next Six months living in disbelief. And I want to challenge you today because I want you to get everything that you want. I want you to unlock your overflow. I want you to unlock your abundance. So what would it be like to just be still? What would it be like if you didn't have to put all of your energy into asking why you don't have it yet? What would your business look like? Where would you live? What would you serve, right?

Like, what would you believe if you actually knew you got to have it all? Because my love, that's what you get, right? And the programming, the hustle, the proving, it stops with you.

So I want to talk about six signs that you are operating in a scarcity neediness inside of your client acquisition system. And this is how you're going to recognize those deactivated parts of you. Now, if you haven't listened to my recent YouTube upload on your limiting beliefs, keeping you stuck, this video was talking about reality versus not reality, right? And it also broke down a little bit about what the emotions and the frequency.

And I also talked about what it means to be activated versus deactivated. So if you want to learn more about that, you can go find me, it's just my name on YouTube and check that out. So the first thing is, if you are operating from this deactivated neediness, scarcity, energy, you are replying to somebody who like ghosted you for months, right? And this isn't you being like professional or saying like, oh, maybe they were just busy.

This is you abandoning your own standards because you have a fear of rejection, a fear of not being chosen. You are desiring something outside of you and you're thinking that somebody who could not even show up for a month. And like that person, if somebody disappears and they don't read it for a month and they all of a sudden pop up, that's emotional avoidance, it's not divine delay, right?

So it's like, are you settling for people in your reality who are not actually available for the level that you want to be playing at? So that's what it looks like to deactivate yourself, lower your standard and operate in the wrong frequency and energy, right? That is self abandonment. And I don't wait around for energy that can't even meet me in the present moment, right?

Like I am living here today and if you can't show up for multiple weeks or you can't, you know, like I know what it feels like to have even just like three or four DM sitting there that are unread and in the back of my mind I'm like, okay, I have to get to that. And if somebody can't get to that for months and months or weeks and weeks or days and days, like, I know I get my phone pings every time. Like, I'm not. I can see when a message is there, right?

And so don't make excuses for other people's behavior because you want something outside of you. That is self abandonment, right? That is not. That is deactivating yourself. That is choosing less than what you came here to deserve, right?

And that's why that delay and that denial and the things not working out the way that you want them to is just because you're lowering the bar on your standards because you have old programming and until you upgrade your programming, you're not going to be able to see this. So the second thing that you might be doing right now is trying to force someone to meet you, right? That breadcrumbing, the chasing, it's a trauma response, right?

It's a wound of not being heard and a belief that you must earn love, right? You feel like you have to chase somebody. It's. It's not aligned, right? My people come with clarity. Now when I talk about breadcrumbing, it's like you're waiting for an opening, right? And so you're asking questions, you're trying to, like, line up the thing.

But the important thing to understand is that, like, you as a human know when somebody is trying to like, pitch you or sell you or they're just like, they don't even care what you're saying. They're just like, waiting for an opening. And like, when you do that to other people, they can also see that, right? That's why, like, I do things like give away a free lead magnet and I, you know, send them some podcast episodes in my DMs that might actually help them, right?

Like, I'm not asking for anything. I'm just like, hey, if you're interested, here are some things that I think might help you on this journey. So I'm not trying to force an outcome. If somebody decides that they want to respond that and open up a conversation and they feel safe to do that and like, they should because of my content strategy and the way that I lead myself, right?

But if they lack that safety and they don't say anything, it's because they're dealing with their own emotional trauma. They can't afford something. They have other preconceptions or judgment that was not given by me or God. So that's their own internal work. And therefore, nothing that I do ever is a direct reflection of me, right? Sometimes there are, you know, people or things that will show you where your blind spots are so that you can have provision and that you can get better.

And that's why every moment is just working for your gut so that you can become an even more magnetic version of yourself, right? But have that awareness. And, like, try. Like, I'm not telling you to start a podcast. Do it if you want. I mean, I'm here for that. But, like, try and give something, right? Because it's in giving that we receive. And so don't give to receive, but just do it because that's who you are, right? Do it because you have something that you believe in, your message, right?

In your purpose and your why and your magic. Like, if you believe in the thing that you are selling, then go and share that. Okay, let me see.

See, the third thing I want to say is being defensive when somebody, like, asks what you do, right? I had somebody who, like, I just asked them about their journey on LinkedIn, and I was like, hey, how's it going? Like, Are you using LinkedIn for this? Are you still testing things? And they immediately deflected and they're like, well, what do you do and what's your skill set? And, like, they did.

He just started deflecting all of these questions, and I was just like, okay, this person is not open for business right now. This person doesn't have the capacity to have a real conversation and just respond.

So, you know, some people, though, and I've seen my clients do this where they get defensive and they will start, like, trying to prove their value or, you know, oh, I have this certification in this, and I help people with this and this, and they, like, try and prove that they're good enough for that person to hire them. And that's a complete misconduct misconception, right?

So it's really like unlocking the psychology behind communication and understanding why people do the things that they do, why people say things, right? Like, if this person probably didn't have a strategy and he had said something prior to that that led me to believe he did not have a strategy, which is why I said that. And just seeing the reaction that this person had. And, like, this person's not coachable, right? This person isn't ready for growth.

So don't defend yourself when somebody starts asking things. I have had people, literally 90% of my clients landed on a post once. Never heard from you before. And Then bought, right? Or I've had people who like met with me once and then they worked through their own fear and a year later they're like, hey, I'm ready. And it's just like you don't have to do anything, right? Like you can't miss the things that are meant for you. So trust in that, right?

And also trust in the fact that like you can have the things that you want, right? And just because that one conversation didn't go the way that you wanted to doesn't mean that you attach meaning to it. You don't make it about you. You don't make it that you have extra efforting or different things, right? You understand, you don't attach meaning to the moment, right? You just live your life and you understand human behavior and you understand that through your own self work.

So sometimes this is like again, sorry, the fear of not being enough and the identity that is being rooted inside of performance. Or I'm only valuable if I have X, Y and Z. Maybe you know, you only had your parents attention growing up when you had certain things happening in your world. So the activated self would say something like I don't need to explain this. I embody my words, speak without words, my work speaks without words, right? Like you don't have to share everything.

My response to this person who projected onto me was just like rooting for you. Keep crushing it. Have a good time. Like have fun. Like I don't need to tell you what my, what my stuff is. Go read my LinkedIn profile. And if you're too lazy to do that, I don't want to work with you because you don't take enough action anyways, right? So upgrade your standard, don't fall to meet somebody else and be aware enough and activated enough to know what is worth your time and energy.

The fourth thing is building a system that you hate based off of somebody else's playbook. So for example, if you hear people online who are like, it's a numbers game, you've got to send out this many things and you'll get X back, right? Like if Your business needs 5 to 10 hours of push a day, you are trying to manipulate reality. You are efforting your way through it, right? Because it's not by your works alone.

And so people think, oh, I just have to do more and if I do enough then it's impossible not to fail. And then they send 10,000, you know, cold emails that nobody responsive and then they wonder what's wrong with them, right? Like no, it's a gift, right? You don't have to effort your way through it. That's the whole point.

And so you just want to be in that peace, be in that stillness and just trust that he's gonna deliver for you because he's delivered for you your entire life up to this point, right? So the deactivated self has an unintegrated masculine energy that believe that control, the control equals safety. If I do this, I will get this right. That's manipulating reality and trying to force an outcome. And that's why it feels heavier than it should for you.

That's why it feels like you're struggling, like it's annoying, like you don't want to do it. And like if you have that feeling, and this is so important because I think you hear a lot of people and you know, not everybody comes from the right source energy. Not everybody is doing things the way that I'm gonna do it. And that's totally okay because it's my, it's right for my people and what I'm teaching and what's right for those people is good.

But if you're my people, I'm going to let you in on this, right? So when you hear other people who are like, oh, I have, I work, you know, 12 hours a day and I've done that for, you know, a month straight.

And like you have to hustle and like f your mood, stick to your plan and like forcing them and like, you know, I've heard some famous people, not famous, but like, I don't know, YouTube famous, whatever of like saying things that, you know, I spent like a month working and all I did for a month was X, Y and Z and I hated it and I had to force myself to do it. And I'm like, oh, okay.

So that means that in order for me to be successful and have millions of dollars, I also have to work 12 hours a day and hustle and like do all of these things. And like, honestly, it just, it gets to be easy like that, that is somebody who has unhealed wounds and has performance based identity, right? They have, they're deactivated, right.

They might be activated in other areas of their life, but when it comes to how they operate, you can only push yourself so much until like, like, I don't want to spend my life in a burnout cycle working 12 hour days for the rest of my life, you know, and completely having nothing else outside of my business doesn't work for me specifically. So you might be operating and failing because you're building a system that you hate off of somebody else's playbook.

And this is why I'm constantly saying you have to go within yourself, to scale beyond yourself, because you know what you really want to do to get a client. You know, if like, okay, I send out a few DMS to these people because I've actually taken the time and the energy and I'm like, I'm going to snap my fingers and make this happen today. You can pull new clients out of a hat, right? Like, you just go to LinkedIn and say, I want to work with you, you, you and you and just make it happen, right?

Just the activated self says, I believe God and I rest until I rest. I be still and I receive, right? Like, it doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be complicated. And so my biggest piece of advice for you in this moment is stop doing shit you hate, right? Listen to your internal nudge because it's often like nervous system regulating and it's often like your body knows, okay?

So listen to those cues and then love yourself enough and respect yourself enough and trust yourself enough to follow that pull, right? Like, if you're not doing something that's in alignment and it feels hard and heavy, accept that it is not your pathway, and that is a check engine light signaling that you need to recalibrate and find what your real path is, right? So if something is efforting, it's heavy, it's, you know, built on somebody else's playbook. It's not something that you like.

Then you really want to have an honest conversation with yourself and just trust yourself, right? Follow the internal voice, the internal poll, and just do something that, like, if you say, I just want to make content so good that the people come to me like I am a magnet for my miracle, right? Like it can't be missed, then just let that be your acquisition system, right? And some people who are crazy about sales and acquisition will probably say that I'm full of it, or this doesn't make sense.

But I would just say, like, how happy are you every single day versus, like, how happy am I every single day, right? Like, do. Do whatever is going to make you feel good, okay? Like, 100% permission to be human and 100% permission to let it be easy.

The fifth thing I want to talk about is tolerating misaligned clients. The people who drain you, they underpay you. They don't decide fast enough, they're wobbly in their things. They're always, like, asking the Same questions on repeat. And you're like, did we not just go through this? Like are you still half past this? You want to shrink back again? And I, I am not the coddler, right?

So like I call people out on this, but I mean if people are not at the level that you were playing at, you lower the bar and then you become like those people around you, right? You're, you are your environment, you're a product of your environment. So if you have people who drain you, underpay you and they don't take enough action, upgrade your, your people, right?

Like I only want full body like high level players, people who are like going somewhere, who are fully activated, who don't have all of these projections and self abandonment issues. And you know, I mean, obviously I'm holding space to work through those problems with people, but people have to have the awareness, right? They have to have a desire to grow and expand and shift and they don't.

Some people will only ever be meant to come with you as far as they have decided that they're going to go, right? Some people have different demons to battle. Some people don't share everything with you. And so you don't actually know what's happening behind the curtain. And so you can't make that about you either, right?

But the one thing that I would say is like it is self abandonment to align your reality with a bunch of people that aren't like you're just there and you're keeping the client out of fear because you want that money or you're not sure and like sometimes like trust God enough that he's not going to make you suffer because he's not a God of suffering. He's the God of abundance and love and there's no fear, right? But understand and move with courage, right?

Take bold action consistently and trust that when you let go of the things that drain you, you're making room for the things that light your soul on fire, right? So that is like the deactivated self that could have like a fear of being alone. It could be a fear of, you know, people not liking you, of upsetting people, stirring the pot, thinking that you should just be grateful that you even have a client, right? Like that is, that is self abandonment.

That is like, that is a distorted view of faith, right? You, you were not meant to have breadcrumbs. You were meant to be like the entire loaf of bread. Like I don't know how else to say this right now, but like, yes, you have to be grateful. Yes, you should appreciate and value everything. But you should also appreciate and value the inner wisdom and knowing that says it's time for me to let these people go.

Because I've upgraded my identity and the ones, and I've upgraded my pricing, let's throw that in there too. And the ones that are meant to stay in my world will stay. If not, like he's just gonna bring me more people, right? So that's the deactivated self. Your activated self will say like I only work with full body yeses. Anything less is a no. Right? And you'll reach that point as you work through the other four things that I talked about so far. Right?

You will upgrade your standards, upgrade your belief system and you will develop a non circumstantial identity that doesn't waver in that. So the sixth thing here is that you talk to people who don't reflect your new identity, right? So maybe you're used to targeting people online that are aligned with your old self, your old identity, your old iseep, your old way of messaging, and now you're talking to people who don't buy from you, right?

And so you have an audience full of people that doesn't actually take the action because of who you used to be. And so you want to talk to people who reflect your new identity. Every conversation that you have is either reinforcing your future or reactivating your past and deactivating you. Right? And that just goes with upgrading everything, right?

So this is the deactivated self could be addicted to struggle, attachment to old identity doesn't feel like they are that next version of themselves yet. Am I, am I there? Am I missing something like you know, asking all of these questions questions and having all of these extra data sets instead of just like a full body. Yes. Belief system, right? So the activated self, I only entertain energy that affirms where I'm going, not who I used to be. And so just detox it, all, right?

Get rid of whatever relationships, whatever conversations, whatever clients, whatever, anything inside of your life, your relationship and your business. Just detox it all and consistently ask myself, am I surrounding people that are either ahead of me or that I want to become or who are working as hard as I am. Right? Like are those, is that your inner circle? And you know, sometimes you have to just detox and make room for the new people the next round, right?

So that's something that you're going to want to get used to doing consistently on an ongoing basis.

Okay, so we're going to talk about upgrading your self worth and reprogramming your nervous system. So the first thing that you want to do here is upgrade your belief system, right? So I am a big butcher and I want you to adopt the belief of it gets to be easy, right? You don't have to grind, you don't have the hustle, you don't have to do anything. God already said that you are are chosen, right? So just believe that you get to receive, right?

The second thing is developing a non circumstantial identity. This is where you start. You stop letting external results tell you who you are, whether somebody buys or not, right? Like you're just still chosen. Like what God said about you is still true. You still get to win, you still get to have things you want. The prayers get to be answered, all of the things get to happen. You just have to hold the energy of that, right?

And a non circumstantial identity is going to tell you it doesn't matter what happens. Today I woke up, said this is who I was, took these actions to represent that identity and embodiment. And I still believe no matter what happens today, that I get to have X, Y and Z common to my reality. I am not attaching a timeline, I'm not attaching maybe a specific number or person or whatever, right?

You have to be adaptable and you have to also be open and ask for the wisdom to see the opportunities being presented to you. The third thing you have to do is develop non circumstantial self worth, right? So you're valuable whether you have clients or you have to upgrade your clients or you settled for the wrong clients or you're dming the wrong people or the money before you hit your next income goal, right? You're valuable before, after, in between all of the things, right?

Your self worth is not circumstantial to anything else outside of you, right? You just are, okay? The fourth thing is developing a non circumstantial self love. So you don't love yourself because of, you know, the way you showed up today or you don't not love yourself because this person said no to you. You love yourself consistently and you don't abandon yourself regardless of the circumstances in front of you. It's having the core values and an identity that you have chosen, right?

Because you are the creator of your reality. And so you don't just love yourself when you perform, when you take action, when you hustle, when everything is flowing like perfectly, right? Because there's always provision. So love yourself in the waiting, love yourself in the Stillness in the silence in every single moment. Just honor yourself, right? And operate from that love frequency and your entire life is going to get so much better, I'm telling you.

And then I feel like I stressed this earlier, but I just want to say it again. The fifth thing that I want you to do to upgrade your self worth and reprogram that nervous system is to stop doing shit that you hate, stop pushing through what your soul resists. Your internal compass is divinely intelligent and if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't right. So let it be easy. Let God have it. And I want you to just remember that life is a gift, right?

You are living proof of abundance, divine abundance. And so as you move throughout your week, I just want you to embody the idea that it gets to be effortless, it gets to be clean, it gets to be easy, and you get to walk in the fullness of who you are actually created to be. And if you're ready to go deeper, my new program, the programming stops with you, goes live on Monday. So this is actually going to be a six week private podcast where I'll be dropping audio trainings.

Some days there's one or two other days there's three or four different stuff like that's happening. And I'll be dropping these every single day to help you fully rewire your belief system, your self worth and unlock overflow and abundance. So you will have lifetime access to the podcast. It's available on all platforms and this is gonna go live on Monday.

So if you resonated with any, maybe any episode that I've ever done, but this one here specifically, and you're like, yeah, I have some old programming, I can tell there's things that I need to clean up. This is really going to change things for you. And you can just go grab the link in the show notes and get instant access.

The you'll get a confirmation email for your payment and then on Sunday I'm going to send out a link directly to the podcast and then Monday and every day until, until I think it ends on like July 16th. I'm. I might be wrong, but it's a six week program. So the entire breakdown of the curriculum and everything that we're going to be talking about is inside of the show notes. So go and check that out and I will see you guys next week. Or if you buy the program, I will see you on Monday.