The Real Question - podcast cover

The Real Question

The Real Question is a show that holds space for life’s tough questions. Each episode, a guest brings a personal question they’re grappling with, and Chaplain Mauricio Bruce helps them find an answer. This season, our focus is on future-oriented questions – those that start with ‘Should I…’ 


Mauricio sits down with guests who are contemplating big and small changes in their lives — whether it’s habits, careers, or relationships. In every episode, he asks the pivotal question: “Who do you want to be and what’s the best path to get there?”


The Real Question is produced by Not Sorry Productions, a feminist organization that produces podcasts, educational content, live shows, and immersive experiences with the explicit goal of addressing the spiritual needs of its participants. Through community, rigor, and ritual, we treat traditionally secular things as if they were sacred. To learn more about what we do, visit https://notsorryworks.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Episodes

Should I Quit: My Uterus?

Every time Mars has a period they think about getting their uterus taken out. They hate having this dumb organ in their body! But doesn't everyone hate their period? And what if they want to have kids in the future? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Mars explore how we relate to our own bodies. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...

Jun 19, 202330 minSeason 3Ep. 32

Should Vanessa Quit: Trying to Be Clean?

We're taking one more week off of regular programming, but we'll be back next week on June 19th. In the meantime, please enjoy this un-locked Patreon perk, our Should Vanessa Quit? segment with Vanessa and Ariana. Our Patreon supporters make this show possible and we're so grateful. If you're a regular listener of the show, we'd love to have your support . Also, please submit your quitting questions ! We're always looking for new guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informatio...

Jun 12, 202316 minSeason 3Ep. 31

Pop Culture Prescription: When You Have Some Extra Time to Yourself

As we prepare for our Not Sorry C.A.M.P. this week , we're taking a break from the show. We'll be back in two weeks, on June 19th. In the meantime, please enjoy this un-locked Patreon perk, our Pop Culture Prescriptions with Vanessa and Margaret H. Willison. Our Patreon supporters make this show possible and we're so grateful. If you're a regular listener of the show, we'd love to have your support . Also, please submit your quitting questions ! We're always looking for new guests. Hosted on Aca...

Jun 05, 20239 minSeason 3Ep. 30

Should I Quit: Nicotine?

Ely knows that vaping is bad for her, but she can't seem to find the motivation to stop. Is it okay to indulge certain vices? Or is that logic just the way that addiction works? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Ely explore our own self-destructive instincts. In this episode, Ely mentions her experience with AA. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, there are AA meetings hosted around the world. You can find one near you on their website . And if you enjoyed hearing Ely,...

May 29, 202327 minSeason 3Ep. 29

Should I Quit: Making New Friends?

Margaret is a very sociable person – everywhere she goes, she finds new people to be friends with. But with that list ever-expanding, she feels like she's not serving her existing friendships as well as she'd like. Should she stop making new friends? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Margaret explore when it's okay to disappoint the people you love. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering ch...

May 22, 202326 minSeason 3Ep. 28

Should I Quit: Giving Advice? (asking Heather Havrilesky)

Heather Havrilesky is the voice behind the popular existential advice column, Ask Polly . This week she joins Vanessa to talk about giving advice, when to quit, and how to better be "your ragged-ass bullshit self." -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

May 15, 202322 minSeason 3Ep. 27

Should I Quit: Posting Photos of my Kids on Instagram?

Courtney loves posting photos of her kids on instagram – she loves scrolling back and seeing all the small moments captured, she loves being able to share those moments with family and friends. But her kids are young enough that they can't truly consent to the photos, and she worries that when they grow up, they won't approve of what has been shared. This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Courtney explore how to evaluate risk as a parent. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are...

May 08, 202327 minSeason 3Ep. 26

Should I Quit: Social Media Before Bed?

Chris Stedman gets stuck scrolling Twitter at night. He knows why he does it – it makes him feel in control, it soothes his anxiety. But should he be sitting in that anxiety instead of soothing it? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Chris explore our relationship to social media and how to counter perfectionism. Be sure to check out Chris's latest book, IRL: Finding Our Real Selves in a Digital World , and his podcast Unread . (You can also find him on Twitter, of course , @ChrisDStedman .)...

May 01, 202326 minSeason 3Ep. 25

Should I Quit: Going on Zillow?

Taylor gets sucked into looking at houses on Zillow. It's addictive! Comparing prices, imagining her life in different places... But is that imagining good for her? Or is it keeping her from appreciating the life she has? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Taylor explore when it's okay to plan for the future at the expense of living in the present. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chip...

Apr 24, 202326 minSeason 3Ep. 24

Special Edition: Reality Television and ‘The One’ (with Julia Argy)

Julia Argy, our incredible pilgrimage director has her first book out today! It's called The One , and it's about a woman who joins a reality television show to find love. Publishers Weekly says it best: “[A] smart debut…Argy takes on voyeurism, feminism, and gender norms, as Emily wonders if she really ought to put all her energy into finding love, which is what she was conditioned to do all her life…. [A] winning portrait of a young woman trying to come into her own.” In this bonus episode, Va...

Apr 18, 202320 min

Should I Quit: Telling White Lies?

Brigid has gotten into the habit of telling white lies. It's a defense mechanism to feel in control of what people know and think about her. But is being so in control actually bad for her sense of self? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Brigid explore how to stop caring what other people think about you. Did Brigid's question resonate with you? Submit something you respect about yourself and see what others have to say . -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful...

Apr 17, 202325 minSeason 3Ep. 23

Should I Quit: My Yoga Subscription?

During the pandemic, Brooke signed up for an online yoga subscription. Does she ever use it? No. Can she get herself to cancel it? Also no. This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Brooke discuss the psychological burden of our digital lives. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Apr 10, 202322 minSeason 3Ep. 22

Should I Quit: Chicago?

Hannah has lived in Chicago for the past seven years. She never really wanted to live there long-term, but now she's having trouble leaving. Her family and all her friends are in Chicago! She has a really good life there. Would it be a mistake to start over somewhere else? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Hannah discuss when to leave behind good things. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please consideri...

Apr 03, 202328 minSeason 3Ep. 21

Should I Quit: Trying to Get My Book Published?

Katie has written a novel. She worked hard on it and she thinks it's good, but the process of trying to get it published has been grueling. Should she just keep going? Or is it time to set the book aside? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Katie explore what it means to feel rejected and how much of that we each can tolerate. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Aca...

Mar 20, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 20

Should I Quit: My Choir?

Lisa has been a choir nerd for basically her whole life. But recently, with two young kids, she can barely stay awake for the rehearsals. Should she give it up to get more sleep? Or is this just a rough patch, and she’ll be glad she made it through the other side? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Lisa discuss how to keep a sense of self while being a mom. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please conside...

Mar 13, 202320 minSeason 3Ep. 19

Should I Quit: My Relationship?

Emily loves her boyfriend. There’s not enough good things to say about him: He’s kind and attentive and easy to be around. But she’s always wanted to be a mom, and he’s not so sure about kids. Can she stay with him, even if they don’t have kids? Or is that a dealbreaker? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Emily discuss how to get what you want from a relationship without giving an ultimatum. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please c...

Mar 06, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 18

Should I Quit: My College Club?

When Cameron joined the disability advocacy club during his first year of college, it became a huge part of his life. Now a junior, he's the club president, and being president opens a lot of doors campus-wide. The only the problem is – no one is really coming to the club meetings. Should he singlehandedly try to keep it running? Or is time to let it die? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cameron discuss how to let go of things that aren't working anymore. -- We are so grateful to our supp...

Feb 27, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 17

Should I Quit: Karate?

Sami has been practicing the same style of Karate for 20 years; it’s a huge part of her identity. But a recent conflict with her Sensei has thrown her relationship with the sport up in the air. Can she go back to her dojo, knowing that things with her Sensei will never feel the same? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Sami discuss how one person can turn a good situation into a bad one. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please consid...

Feb 20, 202322 minSeason 3Ep. 16

Should I Quit: Dating?

Rin wants a life partner, but they’ve never felt romantically attracted to someone before. Should they keep dating, hoping that they’ll find the right person? Or is it time to give up on conventional love tropes and pursue another path? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Rin discuss how to build partnership outside of society’s norms. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...

Feb 13, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 15

Should I Quit: Being a Teacher?

Lacy has been a teacher for fifteen year, and like many teacher’s right now, she’s feeling overwhelmed. School doesn’t feel the same as it did pre-pandemic. She feels pulled in a million directions, and out of hope. Is it time to quit teaching? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Lacy discuss how much to sacrifice for a job you care about. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...

Feb 06, 202330 minSeason 3Ep. 14

Should I Quit: Trying to Get Better?

About a year and a half ago, Fran got sick. Since then, she’s been focused on getting a diagnosis and then trying to get better. But the kind of chronic illness she has – sometimes you don’t get better. Should she keep trying to get ‘back to normal’? Or it is time to come to terms with her life as it is? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Fran discuss how to integrate a new version of yourself into your existing life. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show pos...

Jan 30, 202334 minSeason 3Ep. 13

Should I Quit: My Rule Against Long Distance Relationships?

When Cheyanne was twenty-three years old she made a rule: no long distance relationships. They just set you up for heartbreak! Every time she fell for someone far away, she stuck by her trusty rule. But now, nearly six years later and single, she finds herself questioning it. Is the rule keeping her from finding the right person? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cheyanne explore what we need out of partnerships. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possibl...

Jan 23, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 12

Should I Quit: My Dream Job?

Jaime loves birds. Since they were eight years old they’ve wanted a career in bird science, and so far they’ve been living that dream! But a recently discovered chronic illness has been making the work more difficult. Is it time to move on from their life’s big passion? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Jaime discuss how our dumb bodies get in the way of what we love. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ...

Jan 16, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 11

Should I Quit: My Church?

Cari has been dreading going to church. In theory, she likes so much about the community. But lately, she’s been resenting her obligations there. Is this just a rut? Or is it time to move on? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cari discuss the challenges associated with being in community. If you’re interested in signing up for the Nearness, the next online six-week journey starts on January 23rd. Learn more on their website. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this ...

Jan 09, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 10

Special Sneak Peek! (Forgiveness: An Alternative Account)

Beloved co-host of Harry Potter and the Sacred Text , Matt Potts, released his book Forgiveness: An Alternative Account a few weeks ago and it is so! good!! We're very excited to bring you an exclusive excerpt from the book - read by Matt himself. You can find the book wherever books are sold, or snag a signed copy from our website ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Jan 02, 202313 min

Should I Quit: Quitting?

Vanessa and Ariana reflect on how the show's going and whether Vanessa's thoughts about quitting have changed since starting the season. We're taking a short break for the holidays but we'll be back January 9th with our next episode! -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Dec 19, 202218 minSeason 3Ep. 9

Should I Quit: Interior Design?

Emily has always been passionate about decorating her home. It’s a big creative outlet for her! But the online culture around interior design has started to bother her – it's all focused around buying more stuff in order to feel good. And that actually doesn't feel good at all. This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Emily discuss how social media and the forces of capitalism intersect in the world of home improvement. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possibl...

Dec 12, 202227 minSeason 3Ep. 8

Should I Quit: Calling My Parents?

Hannah calls her parents…a lot. Like four times a day. She loves talking to them, but all her friends think it’s weird. So she’s started to wonder: am I being too clingy? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Hannah discuss what makes for a healthy parent/child relationship and how to adapt to aging parents. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Dec 05, 202227 minSeason 3Ep. 7

Should I Quit: My Small Business?

Since the start of the pandemic, Shannon’s confectionary business has really been struggling. Now she’s getting kicked out of her shop space and she's wondering: is it worth it to move somewhere more expensive? Or should she just cut her loses and end the business? This Week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Shannon explore when to accept failure and when to go all in. -- Please help us support Sweet Lydia’s by contributing to our fundraising campaign! You can send us money through our Venmo , and w...

Nov 28, 202225 minSeason 3Ep. 6

Should I Quit: Watching Youtube?

Casper spends a lot of time scrolling through YouTube videos. He feels like he should have a better evening routine, but the algorithm always pulls him in! Is it time to just go cold turkey? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Casper ter Kuile explore what rest and self care look like in our day to day lives. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Nov 21, 202228 minSeason 3Ep. 5
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