The Real Question - podcast cover

The Real Question

The Real Question is a show that holds space for life’s tough questions. Each episode, a guest brings a personal question they’re grappling with, and Chaplain Mauricio Bruce helps them find an answer. This season, our focus is on future-oriented questions – those that start with ‘Should I…’ 


Mauricio sits down with guests who are contemplating big and small changes in their lives — whether it’s habits, careers, or relationships. In every episode, he asks the pivotal question: “Who do you want to be and what’s the best path to get there?”


The Real Question is produced by Not Sorry Productions, a feminist organization that produces podcasts, educational content, live shows, and immersive experiences with the explicit goal of addressing the spiritual needs of its participants. Through community, rigor, and ritual, we treat traditionally secular things as if they were sacred. To learn more about what we do, visit https://notsorryworks.com/

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Episodes

Should I Quit: Chicago?

Hannah has lived in Chicago for the past seven years. She never really wanted to live there long-term, but now she's having trouble leaving. Her family and all her friends are in Chicago! She has a really good life there. Would it be a mistake to start over somewhere else? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Hannah discuss when to leave behind good things. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please consideri...

Apr 03, 202328 minSeason 3Ep. 21

Should I Quit: Trying to Get My Book Published?

Katie has written a novel. She worked hard on it and she thinks it's good, but the process of trying to get it published has been grueling. Should she just keep going? Or is it time to set the book aside? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Katie explore what it means to feel rejected and how much of that we each can tolerate. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Aca...

Mar 20, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 20

Should I Quit: My Choir?

Lisa has been a choir nerd for basically her whole life. But recently, with two young kids, she can barely stay awake for the rehearsals. Should she give it up to get more sleep? Or is this just a rough patch, and she’ll be glad she made it through the other side? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Lisa discuss how to keep a sense of self while being a mom.  -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please c...

Mar 13, 202320 minSeason 3Ep. 19

Should I Quit: My Relationship?

Emily loves her boyfriend. There’s not enough good things to say about him: He’s kind and attentive and easy to be around. But she’s always wanted to be a mom, and he’s not so sure about kids. Can she stay with him, even if they don’t have kids? Or is that a dealbreaker?  This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Emily discuss how to get what you want from a relationship without giving an ultimatum. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, pl...

Mar 06, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 18

Should I Quit: My College Club?

When Cameron joined the disability advocacy club during his first year of college, it became a huge part of his life. Now a junior, he's the club president, and being president opens a lot of doors campus-wide. The only the problem is – no one is really coming to the club meetings. Should he singlehandedly try to keep it running? Or is time to let it die? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cameron discuss how to let go of things that aren't working anymore. -- We are so grateful to our...

Feb 27, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 17

Should I Quit: Karate?

Sami has been practicing the same style of Karate for 20 years; it’s a huge part of her identity. But a recent conflict with her Sensei has thrown her relationship with the sport up in the air. Can she go back to her dojo, knowing that things with her Sensei will never feel the same? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Sami discuss how one person can turn a good situation into a bad one. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please c...

Feb 20, 202322 minSeason 3Ep. 16

Should I Quit: Dating?

Rin wants a life partner, but they’ve never felt romantically attracted to someone before. Should they keep dating, hoping that they’ll find the right person? Or is it time to give up on conventional love tropes and pursue another path? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Rin discuss how to build partnership outside of society’s norms.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast....

Feb 13, 202321 minSeason 3Ep. 15

Should I Quit: Being a Teacher?

Lacy has been a teacher for fifteen year, and like many teacher’s right now, she’s feeling overwhelmed. School doesn’t feel the same as it did pre-pandemic. She feels pulled in a million directions, and out of hope. Is it time to quit teaching? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Lacy discuss how much to sacrifice for a job you care about.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See ac...

Feb 06, 202330 minSeason 3Ep. 14

Should I Quit: Trying to Get Better?

About a year and a half ago, Fran got sick. Since then, she’s been focused on getting a diagnosis and then trying to get better. But the kind of chronic illness she has – sometimes you don’t get better. Should she keep trying to get ‘back to normal’? Or it is time to come to terms with her life as it is?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Fran discuss how to integrate a new version of yourself into your existing life.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who m...

Jan 30, 202334 minSeason 3Ep. 13

Should I Quit: My Rule Against Long Distance Relationships?

When Cheyanne was twenty-three years old she made a rule: no long distance relationships. They just set you up for heartbreak! Every time she fell for someone far away, she stuck by her trusty rule. But now, nearly six years later and single, she finds herself questioning it. Is the rule keeping her from finding the right person?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cheyanne explore what we need out of partnerships.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this ...

Jan 23, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 12

Should I Quit: My Dream Job?

Jaime loves birds. Since they were eight years old they’ve wanted a career in bird science, and so far they’ve been living that dream! But a recently discovered chronic illness has been making the work more difficult. Is it time to move on from their life’s big passion?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Jaime discuss how our dumb bodies get in the way of what we love. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chippi...

Jan 16, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 11

Should I Quit: My Church?

Cari has been dreading going to church. In theory, she likes so much about the community. But lately, she’s been resenting her obligations there. Is this just a rut? Or is it time to move on? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cari discuss the challenges associated with being in community.  If you’re interested in signing up for the Nearness, the next online six-week journey starts on January 23rd. Learn more on their website. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreo...

Jan 09, 202323 minSeason 3Ep. 10

Special Sneak Peek! (Forgiveness: An Alternative Account)

Beloved co-host of Harry Potter and the Sacred Text , Matt Potts, released his book Forgiveness: An Alternative Account a few weeks ago and it is so! good!! We're very excited to bring you an exclusive excerpt from the book - read by Matt himself. You can find the book wherever books are sold, or snag a signed copy from our website ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Jan 02, 202313 min

Should I Quit: Quitting?

Vanessa and Ariana reflect on how the show's going and whether Vanessa's thoughts about quitting have changed since starting the season. We're taking a short break for the holidays but we'll be back January 9th with our next episode! -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Dec 19, 202218 minSeason 3Ep. 9

Should I Quit: Interior Design?

Emily has always been passionate about decorating her home. It’s a big creative outlet for her! But the online culture around interior design has started to bother her – it's all focused around buying more stuff in order to feel good. And that actually doesn't feel good at all. This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Emily discuss how social media and the forces of capitalism intersect in the world of home improvement. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possibl...

Dec 12, 202227 minSeason 3Ep. 8

Should I Quit: Calling My Parents?

Hannah calls her parents…a lot. Like four times a day. She loves talking to them, but all her friends think it’s weird. So she’s started to wonder: am I being too clingy?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Hannah discuss what makes for a healthy parent/child relationship and how to adapt to aging parents. -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informati...

Dec 05, 202227 minSeason 3Ep. 7

Should I Quit: My Small Business?

Since the start of the pandemic, Shannon’s confectionary business has really been struggling. Now she’s getting kicked out of her shop space and she's wondering: is it worth it to move somewhere more expensive? Or should she just cut her loses and end the business?  This Week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Shannon explore when to accept failure and when to go all in. -- Please help us support Sweet Lydia’s by contributing to our fundraising campaign! You can send us money through our Venmo ,...

Nov 28, 202225 minSeason 3Ep. 6

Should I Quit: Watching Youtube?

Casper spends a lot of time scrolling through YouTube videos. He feels like he should have a better evening routine, but the algorithm always pulls him in! Is it time to just go cold turkey?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Casper ter Kuile explore what rest and self care look like in our day to day lives.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more ...

Nov 21, 202228 minSeason 3Ep. 5

Should I Quit: My Dad?

Our guest this week has a hard relationship with her dad. After years of hoping it would get better, she’s starting to feel like it might be time to quit.  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and our guest explore the question: How do you love someone when they continue to hurt you?  CW: This episode addresses addiction and includes reference to abuse.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Host...

Nov 14, 202228 minSeason 3Ep. 4

Should I Quit: Texas?

Mae lives in Texas. She grew up there, her whole family is there, there are a lot of things she loves about her life there. But now that she's raising two small kids, she's beginning to think: Is this really the environment I want my kids to grow up in?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Mae explore the questions: What does it means to make a home in a hostile place? And at what point do you leave?  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. I...

Nov 07, 202227 minSeason 3Ep. 3

Should I Quit: My Name?

When Eleanor got married, she took her husband’s last name. Now, nineteen years and three kids later, she’s working on a PhD. The PhD feels separate from her family life, something she’s doing just for herself. And so she’s started to wonder: Do I want to get this PhD under my married name? Or would it feel more ‘me’ to get it under my maiden name?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Eleanor explore the power of names and what it means to feel like ‘you’ and be a mother at the same tim...

Oct 31, 202224 minSeason 3Ep. 2

Quitting: A Thesis

Is there something in your life that's making you miserable, but you feel like you need to just put your head down and get through it? Have you considered... just not doing it instead? This week, Vanessa starts our new season of The Real Question with a thesis on why we should all be quitting more. Next week, you'll hear from our first guest who is considering quitting. And if you'd like to be on the show, you can submit a question here . -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who ma...

Oct 25, 202217 minSeason 3Ep. 1

Should I Quit: Trailer

Our first episode of Should I Quit is coming October 24th! If you'd like to be on the show, you can submit a question here . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oct 04, 20222 min

Endings

With help from Gilmore Girls and the song Closing Time from Semisonic , Vanessa and Casper explore the grief of endings and share about their upcoming projects.  -- You can find out more about The Nearness at https://www.thenearness.coop/ .  Should I Quit will premiere in late October. If you’d like to be on the show, you can submit here .  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Sep 19, 202237 minSeason 2Ep. 16

From The Happiness Lab: Making Friends as an Adult featuring Casper

Casper recently joined The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos for a special episode on overcoming loneliness–a feeling many of us are all too familiar with. On The Happiness Lab, Laurie shares the latest scientific research and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness. In this episode, Casper speaks to the benefits of belonging to like-minded communities and how they help our social lives thrive. Hear more from The Happiness Lab at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/thls5?...

Sep 12, 202234 min

Humility

Casper grew up with a lot of confidence. And as he’s gotten older, that confidence has only been encouraged and solidified by the various privileged identities that he inhabits. Knowing that, he wants to intentionally cultivate a practice of humility. But how do you temper confidence, without crumbing into self doubt?  With help from the TV show Julia and The Methodist Quadrilateral , Casper and Vanessa explore how to tell the truth in every situation. -- Funding for this episode was provid...

Sep 05, 202240 minSeason 2Ep. 15

Trusting Your Gut

Vanessa has always had very good instincts about people. But recently she's started to wonder: where does that gut instinct come from inside of her? And how can she make sure her 'gut' is reflecting her wisdom, instead of her prejudices? With help from Into the Woods and Gilmore Girls , Vanessa and Casper explore how to give people the benefit of the doubt while still being able to trust your instincts. -- Funding for this episode was provided by UC Berkeley's  Greater Good Scienc...

Aug 22, 202243 minSeason 2Ep. 14

In-Laws

Lily has a boyfriend who she loves. But you know who she doesn’t love? Her boyfriend’s brother. He makes Lily feel small and hurt and honestly angry every time they see each other. But Lily wants to have a good relationship with her boyfriend’s family. So how does she deal with him?  With help from Sara Bareilles and a scene from Fleabag , Lily, Vanessa, and Casper explore our relationships with in-laws and how to best deal with a bully.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more...

Aug 08, 202252 minSeason 2Ep. 13

Language

Hima’s parents moved to the United States when she was two years old. Her first language was Telugu, but her early teachers encouraged her parents to speak English at home. Now, she’s not entirely fluent. Hima knows that learning the language would probably make her feel closer to her family and her cultural identity – but it feels embarrassing to try, and trying comes with a lot of family baggage. Should she do it?  With help from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer  and J...

Jul 25, 202242 minSeason 2Ep. 12

Career

When Rachel was working on her PhD, she always thought she would graduate and work at a science museum. But the pandemic changed her plans, no museums were hiring. But now she’s wondering, was that change forever? Or should she try to work her way back to her passion?  With help from the show All Creatures Great and Small and the book Ammonite by Nicola Griffith , Rachel, Casper and Vanessa explore the relationship between passion and work.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...

Jul 11, 202237 minSeason 2Ep. 11
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